Is it taboo...to mention price?

[Dreamgirl]

I''ve wanted to ask several times in the past but don''t know how the OP of the ring would react to that question, so I don''t ask. That doesn''t me I DON''T want to know because I DO want to know. Especially if it''s a ring close to something I want or is the ring I want!

If I HAD a ring

then I think I''d say if someone asked. Otherwise, not sure I''d say.....hmmm...

 

[Lulie]

Date: 1/25/2009 4:43:34 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
Elegant

the PS rule is...only i can ask those impolite questions.

 

[snlee]

Date: 1/26/2009 4:38:30 PM
Author: allycat0303
I don''t mind asking for price on the forum. This is a consumer diamond forum (primarily) I feel that the goal of PS is to help consumers get the best value for their money (which would be hard if no one mentioned price). I don''t think it''s proper IRL to ask for price though. Unless it''s family or a close friend. Then anything goes.

Ditto. I also agree with Kaleigh, it''s all in the delivery of the question.

Someone actually asked me over the weekend how much my new ring cost and I was a bit taken aback because I felt that she didn''t ask because she was interested in getting a similar ring.

 

[Elegant]

Date: 1/26/2009 11:36:28 PM
Author: snlee

Date: 1/26/2009 4:38:30 PM

Author: allycat0303

I don''t mind asking for price on the forum. This is a consumer diamond forum (primarily) I feel that the goal of PS is to help consumers get the best value for their money (which would be hard if no one mentioned price). I don''t think it''s proper IRL to ask for price though. Unless it''s family or a close friend. Then anything goes.

Ditto. I also agree with Kaleigh, it''s all in the delivery of the question.

Someone actually asked me over the weekend how much my new ring cost and I was a bit taken aback because I felt that she didn''t ask because she was interested in getting a similar ring.

So, do you guys have an answer prepared for people IRL who ask you and you feel uncomfortable answering them?

 

[Porridge]

I totally have no problem sharing the cost of my ring with my fellow PSers - that''s what this site is about, gathering information to find a great diamond, and price is a HUGE part of that. IRL however, I find it tacky and impolite, and I would never do it. I luckily have not been asked so far how much mine cost. I think I would tell them that I didn''t know, ask FI!!

 

[sba771]

I would not mind if someone asked on here if it seemed in the spirit of gathering information. IRL it would depend. Since I got engaged I have been shocked about some of the rude comments people have and I have also been amused at how clueless some people are when it comes to diamonds. They really think they can get 2+ carats for 15k. If someone was being genuine about it then I might be more inclined to share the price, but if they are just being snarky then the only people who will know are me, the FI, the jeweler, the appraiser and our moms.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/27/2009 5:06:22 AM
Author: sba771
I would not mind if someone asked on here if it seemed in the spirit of gathering information. IRL it would depend. Since I got engaged I have been shocked about some of the rude comments people have and I have also been amused at how clueless some people are when it comes to diamonds. They really think they can get 2+ carats for 15k. If someone was being genuine about it then I might be more inclined to share the price, but if they are just being snarky then the only people who will know are me, the FI, the jeweler, the appraiser and our moms.

OMG I KNOW, and not just any 2+ carat, the D flawless kind!!!!!!!!! Ignorance is bliss as they say.

Elegant - wow, when I got engaged I was bombarded with questions, not of the actual proposal but my about my ring. It made me feel horribly uncomfortable, because I wanted to be engaged for soo long, that the ring was more a symbol of our upcoming marriage, than a piece of jewelry. But it broke my heart when all the questions I got were, "how big is it?" "how much did he spend" "is it a good quality?" and stupid questions like that. I tried the polite answers "It is big enough" "I''m not sure, but I love it.." and I did flat out say "I''d prefer not to talk about that." and some people had the audacity to tell me not to be coy, tell me the carats! and I was really upset. I felt like I had this beautiful moment, and they didn''t care about how he did it at all. AND THAT is what I wanted to talk about!!
If I had known, how really petty people could be, I would have researched answers to the questions before hand, because they really caught me off gaurd. And people that asked me how much it cost him, GRRR!

HOW FRICKIN RUDE! I wish I had known that people would care less about my beautiful engagement story and just wanted to know my stats... I think if I had asked "Why is this important to you?" maybe I could understand where they were coming from... but I just didn''t want to answer those questions, and I felt the timing was HORRIBLE.
IMHO, there are certain questions that should NEVER be asked of someone, as it violates propper ettiquete. You can phrase a question in such a way that they can elabroate if they want to, but by asking you risk making them feel uncomforable, which is what manners is really all about.
Elegant, thanks again for posting this question, I have really enjoyed reading people''s responses and the different views. It is always interesting to see the wide variety of opinions.

 

[lyra]

Date: 1/25/2009 2:59:53 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
this reminds me of a funny thread on a koi forum that i frequent...

a member posted a picture of a koi he just purchase. a newbie comes along and ask...how much did you paid for the fish? btw,just like on a diamond forum it would be consider very impolite to ask what others paid for a fish on a koi forum.

anyway, the guy replied to the newbie''s Q,he said...i paid $7500 for the fish,then the newbie replied to the owner of this $7500 koi and said...stop lying

there''re no koi that expensive,i bet ya only paid $75 for that fish

btw; most of the forum members knew it was a $7500 fish or somewhere close to that amount.

i don''t think the newbie meant to be rude,but being a newbie in the hobby,he just didn''t realize there are many expensive koi out there.

Sorry, OT, but OMG, a fish can cost that much!!!??? I had no idea. They die for heaven''s sake.

As for the issue at hand, I don''t mind sharing facts and figures here, but would be very uncomfortable in real life. I would definitely share the setting price, as that is readiily available online. If I had a custom ring, I might give a ballpark if asked, but I don''t know anyone other than close family that would even dare to ask. I''d never tell a stranger anything in real life.

 

[gemgirl]

In real life, it would bother me a LOT, but on PS, it doesn''t. Someone here, I don''t even remember who, came right out and asked me what it cost me to make my five stone and I told them. It didn''t bother me one bit because we''re all in this hobby/passion/obsession together. I also agree with Kaleigh, it''s all in how it''s asked.

Personally, I wish I had an idea of how much it''s going to cost to reset my wedding set, so I can understand people''s curiosity.

 

[Elegant]

Wow, thanks everyone for their responses. I too enjoyed hearing everyone''s opinion.

 

[emeraldlover1]

Date: 1/25/2009 2:46:33 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/25/2009 2:29:11 AM
Author: Elegant
You know, I just spoke with bf and he told me it''s none of my ''f''ing business what people pay for their rings because it is private. And then we got into an argument over why I haven''t gotten my anniversary ring...ugh.

Plus, this isn''t a thread asking people to post prices, I was just wondering if it is taboo - because nobody seems to mention that...that''s all!

Thanks Kaleigh...from the sounds of it, I am an ass...

Pricescopers are generally a high class bunch, and etiquette dictates that you don''t go screaming in a thread ''OMG, that is AWESOME! How much did you pay for that sucker?!''

IRL, I would never ask how much someone paid for their jewelry. But hey, it''s considered kosher to ask people how much they paid for their house, so go figure the rhyme or reason to that...

Really??? I always thought this was a no...no. Frankly, I''m embarrassed about how much we paid for our really small NYC apartment and I hate it when people ask.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/25/2009 2:46:33 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/25/2009 2:29:11 AM
Author: Elegant
You know, I just spoke with bf and he told me it''s none of my ''f''ing business what people pay for their rings because it is private. And then we got into an argument over why I haven''t gotten my anniversary ring...ugh.

Plus, this isn''t a thread asking people to post prices, I was just wondering if it is taboo - because nobody seems to mention that...that''s all!

Thanks Kaleigh...from the sounds of it, I am an ass...

Pricescopers are generally a high class bunch, and etiquette dictates that you don''t go screaming in a thread ''OMG, that is AWESOME! How much did you pay for that sucker?!''

IRL, I would never ask how much someone paid for their jewelry. But hey, it''s considered kosher to ask people how much they paid for their house, so go figure the rhyme or reason to that...

TG...how much did you paid for your house?

 

[DebShine]

I was outside at the first house we bought (in 1993) and this guy on a bike comes up to me. I was impressed thinking he was welcoming me to the neighborhood. When he said "my wife and I almost bought this house, but it was too expensive - what did you end up paying for it?" I about choked. AND I then asked him what the asking price was when he looked at it... he told me and then I told him we payed less than that. A house is public record - he can look it up himself!

A diamond however, is not public record! I would never ask someone IRL, and I wouldn''t ask about a diamond on here because there is so much information out there I can make an educated guess.

AND if it was an outrageous price I might think "woaaahhh....." and be sad that I couldn''t have it AND if it was a real steal I might think "ugghhhh...." why couldn''t I have found that?

- but I would ask where the setting was bought at and then do a little research.

Interesting question and sorry about the story above... lol.. I talk as much on here as I do IRL! However, that did come to mind when I read this question!

 

[Harriet]

I don't know why, but I have an aversion to being asked how much I paid for something, be it a piece of jewellery or a meal. I'm constantly deflecting my mum's questions.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/27/2009 10:55:19 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/25/2009 2:46:33 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/25/2009 2:29:11 AM
Author: Elegant
You know, I just spoke with bf and he told me it''s none of my ''f''ing business what people pay for their rings because it is private. And then we got into an argument over why I haven''t gotten my anniversary ring...ugh.

Plus, this isn''t a thread asking people to post prices, I was just wondering if it is taboo - because nobody seems to mention that...that''s all!

Thanks Kaleigh...from the sounds of it, I am an ass...

Pricescopers are generally a high class bunch, and etiquette dictates that you don''t go screaming in a thread ''OMG, that is AWESOME! How much did you pay for that sucker?!''

IRL, I would never ask how much someone paid for their jewelry. But hey, it''s considered kosher to ask people how much they paid for their house, so go figure the rhyme or reason to that...

TG...how much did you paid for your house?

Zero...I don''t own one yet, so don''t get me started. I feel more strongly about the housing market/bubble than you do!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

if asked...most of the time i don''t really mind telling others what i paid.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 1/27/2009 12:24:16 AM
Author: Elegant

Date: 1/26/2009 11:36:28 PM

Author: allycat0303


I don''t mind asking for price on the forum. This is a consumer diamond forum (primarily) I feel that the goal of PS is to help consumers get the best value for their money (which would be hard if no one mentioned price). I don''t think it''s proper IRL to ask for price though. Unless it''s family or a close friend. Then anything goes.

So, do you guys have an answer prepared for people IRL who ask you and you feel uncomfortable answering them?

I agree that a more open discussion of prices on the forum would probably help people like me A LOT when it comes to diamond shopping... but IRL? I don''t think I could ever answer... not even to family, Australians are not great jewellery lovers, and I really don''t think even closest family could understand. My mother-in-law, particularly, I would prefer her not to know the actual cost!!! And she likes me!!!

So in answer to Elegant''s question, if backed into a corner, I would probably cut the cost price in half, and then tell them!

 

[AdiS]

I think people stress over etiquette a little too much these days. I''m not saying we should all be rude and ill-mannered but everyone sees things differently. I might consider something rude while someone else would think it''s perfectly normal.

I think one can generally ask any question he likes. Sometimes he''d get an answer (obviously if the person doesn''t mind answering

) and sometimes he won''t. Personally, I don''t like questions regarding price. It seems to me that answering such a question is nothing more than giving a reason for criticism. You immediately become either a skinflint or a spendthrift. Even more so where engagement rings are concerned. Sometimes there''s no pleasing people. I say, don''t even try. At the question "Do you mind me asking how much does your ring/earrings/bracelet, etc. cost," I say something like "I don''t mind you asking, but I mind answering."

People usually don''t feel offended by my refusal maybe because I really mean it-I don''t think it''s rude to ask, but I don''t feel like answering. Others feel differently about it. I have friends that don''t mind sharing that info at all. Like I said-everyone''s internal boundaries are unique.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/28/2009 8:52:03 AM
Author: AdiS
I think people stress over etiquette a little too much these days. I''m not saying we should all be rude and ill-mannered but everyone sees things differently. I might consider something rude while someone else would think it''s perfectly normal.

I think one can generally ask any question he likes. Sometimes he''d get an answer (obviously if the person doesn''t mind answering

) and sometimes he won''t. Personally, I don''t like questions regarding price. It seems to me that answering such a question is nothing more than giving a reason for criticism. You immediately become either a skinflint or a spendthrift. Even more so where engagement rings are concerned. Sometimes there''s no pleasing people. I say, don''t even try. At the question ''Do you mind me asking how much does your ring/earrings/bracelet, etc. cost,'' I say something like ''I don''t mind you asking, but I mind answering.''

People usually don''t feel offended by my refusal maybe because I really mean it-I don''t think it''s rude to ask, but I don''t feel like answering. Others feel differently about it. I have friends that don''t mind sharing that info at all. Like I said-everyone''s internal boundaries are unique.

I wish people stressed over manners and ettiquete more. I don''t think people even give it a thought. Manners is all about making someone else feel comfortable, and not doing things that COULD POTENTIALLY make them UNCOMFORTABLE. Any time you are speaking, MONEY, RELIGION, POLITICS, you risk that chance. That is why those topics are said to be "not polite conversation."
I wish people would think a little more about things and the impact it could have BEFORE it leaves their mouth. I think that would solve a lot of life''s little flair ups. But what do I know, I have AADHD.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I don''t think I''d ever mention price IRL, but because PS has helped me get some fabulous deals, I sometimes feel compelled to spread the wealth, so to speak.

I don''t normally volunteer exact amounts unless someone politely asks on PS. I don''t think anyone ever asks me how much something has cost IRL.

 

[AdiS]

Date: 1/28/2009 11:04:28 AM
Author: tlh

Date: 1/28/2009 8:52:03 AM
Author: AdiS
I think people stress over etiquette a little too much these days. I''m not saying we should all be rude and ill-mannered but everyone sees things differently. I might consider something rude while someone else would think it''s perfectly normal.

I think one can generally ask any question he likes. Sometimes he''d get an answer (obviously if the person doesn''t mind answering

) and sometimes he won''t. Personally, I don''t like questions regarding price. It seems to me that answering such a question is nothing more than giving a reason for criticism. You immediately become either a skinflint or a spendthrift. Even more so where engagement rings are concerned. Sometimes there''s no pleasing people. I say, don''t even try. At the question ''Do you mind me asking how much does your ring/earrings/bracelet, etc. cost,'' I say something like ''I don''t mind you asking, but I mind answering.''

People usually don''t feel offended by my refusal maybe because I really mean it-I don''t think it''s rude to ask, but I don''t feel like answering. Others feel differently about it. I have friends that don''t mind sharing that info at all. Like I said-everyone''s internal boundaries are unique.

I wish people stressed over manners and ettiquete more. I don''t think people even give it a thought. Manners is all about making someone else feel comfortable, and not doing things that COULD POTENTIALLY make them UNCOMFORTABLE. Any time you are speaking, MONEY, RELIGION, POLITICS, you risk that chance. That is why those topics are said to be ''not polite conversation.''
I wish people would think a little more about things and the impact it could have BEFORE it leaves their mouth. I think that would solve a lot of life''s little flair ups. But what do I know, I have AADHD.

As the second sentence of my post states, I''m not saying we should be rude and ill-mannered. What I am saying is, if you''re interested in something, you''re free to ask a question, as you''re free to decide whether to give an answer or not.
Random questions concerning money, religion and politics are considered rude everywhere in the civilized world as far as I know.

 

[bfox]

I was recently asked what I paid for my car and I balked. NOYFB was my viewpoint, but I politely responded that I ''if I tell you, I will have to kill you.''
Same goes for a ring, house price (yup! public info), income, age, etc. It''s not classy to ask (except perhaps on a niche and somewhat anonymous place such as this) and it opens up a Pandora''s box of negativity.

 

[Elegant]

Date: 1/28/2009 2:06:29 PM
Author: bfox
I was recently asked what I paid for my car and I balked. NOYFB was my viewpoint, but I politely responded that I ''if I tell you, I will have to kill you.''

Same goes for a ring, house price (yup! public info), income, age, etc. It''s not classy to ask (except perhaps on a niche and somewhat anonymous place such as this) and it opens up a Pandora''s box of negativity.

If someone asks me how much my car costs, I tell them that my bf took care of it because I didn''t want to even know how much it costs! So if I did have a ring I would say the same thing - I don''t know. But should I lie? Hmmm... People have asked me about how much the house was that I bought, and I told them. Not sure why it didn''t matter so much to me - probably because people don''t know how much money I put down as a down payment, what the percentage rate was on my loan, etc., so they don''t know how much my mortgage is.

 

[musey]

I think that I've asked before... but it was quite meekly...

"Please if you don't mind I'm very curious because I'd like one myself, but only if you're comfortable and I understand if you're not, only share if you're comfortable, sorry sorry sorry for asking

" lol.

I think it was for a Leon solitaire, and I was afraid to email Leon himself because he doesn't like to hand out quotes.


I've been asked for price on a few things of mine. It's never really bothered me. I don't think I've ever been bothered by being asked about prices of things I own, but I don't think anyone's ever asked me about prices for any reason other than being interested in the item.

 

[emeraldlover1]

Its entirely possible that I am not that smart, however, where do I go about looking up as public record what I paid for my house? I never knew this however I''d like to know where I can find this info. I''d love to know what the people paid for it before we bought it, you know? Sorry for the stupid questions, I just really did not know that I could do that.
''

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/29/2009 10:30:26 AM
Author: emeraldlover1
Its entirely possible that I am not that smart, however, where do I go about looking up as public record what I paid for my house? I never knew this however I''d like to know where I can find this info. I''d love to know what the people paid for it before we bought it, you know? Sorry for the stupid questions, I just really did not know that I could do that.
''

Zillow is the website.

 

[Maisie]

I have this habit of saying how much I spent for something. I do it a lot. My daughter came in and asked where I got my top from. My answer went ''Its from New Look, cost £20.

I don''t do it with everybody but if the person is close to me the price is put out there. I assume they are asking because they might want to get one.


For rings like Leon Mege I am always dying to ask the price. I just love the designs and would hope to get one someday. I am saving up just now and I don''t know if I could afford one or not. He doesn''t give out price quotes if you ask more than twice. So finding out the ballpark figure isn''t possible.

I don''t mind saying how much I paid for something so if anyone is every curious please feel free to ask

 

[niccia]

While I wouldn''t offer the info myself, I don''t really care if people ask me either if they are interested in something similar. My best friend/sister and my mum knows but that''s about it (they are the only ones who either asked or looked at rings with me). If you have any knowledge of diamonds, which most people outside of PS don''t, it is pretty easy to take a guess, at least on the diamond. The only time anyone ever commented on the price of my ring was my fiance''s mother. I don''t know if he told her how much he was planning on spending or if she just took a guess, but she called to tell me that her daughter''s ring was very simple and beautiful and she loved it very much and that the real beauty of the ring was its significance.

Not that I don''t agree, but seeing as how it was his money he was spending, not hers, and I had offered to contribute a bit myself to get something I really wanted, I thought she was totally out of line and I told her so. She isn''t usually like that though, and I actually have a pretty good relationship with her. She, like many, would just never spend her money on jewellry, and I guess she didn''t want her son to either lol.

 

[packrat]

It doesn''t generally bother me to say what something cost if asked..tho we don''t really have much that anyone would be curious about! I''ve had people ask about my and my husbands tattoos, and it''s usually strangers who ask. I''m always curious about people''s jewelry-especially rings, wondering if they''re something that I''d be able to afford. I was so glad someone asked about the JM settings and to find out even tho I''ll have to save for a while, they''re something I can afford. If it''s my gramma asking, I have to be creative-she thinks if you make $8/hour you''re making HUGE money and are rolling in it, so her idea of some things is a bit skewed towards how it was 50 years ago.

 

[AGBF]

I am an exceedingly open person and am not easily offended by other people asking me questions. If I don't want to answer, there is no reason that I have to do so. I tend to feel free to ask my close friends what they paid for their houses without blinking. It never occurs to me that a close friend would think twice about telling me. That is why I was stunned when one of them (a WASP from a very uptight family) hesitated before telling me years ago! (She is still among my dearest of dear friends and was maid of honor at my wedding 32 years ago!)

I don't do what Maisie does, but I find what she does perfectly charming. She clearly isn't trying to show off to her daughter about what she paid for a blouse when she tells her that she bought it at XYZ for 20 pounds! It isn't like announcing to a room full of strangers that she bought a Maserati for 200,000 pounds (or whatever they cost)!!! It is clearly just Maisie's style...and if she does it across the board with everything she buys, that is Maisie!

If I have a friend like Harriet, I naturally never ask any questions about what she paid for anything! I believe that courtesy means making others feel comfortable, so that means that one must be attuned to the feelings of one's friends .

Deborah