Jack and Jill shower?

[Clairitek]

Date: 2/18/2009 8:51:48 AM
Author: luvthemstrawberries
Would there be a good way to have some sort of co-ed shower for where gifts are concerned, but still do something small that''s women-only? Maybe just a luncheon closer to the wedding or something?

I think a luncheon closer to the wedding sounds like a great idea! This way, your mom will still get a proper ladies-only thing and you will get your co-ed shower/party. Perhaps you can do it 1-2 days before the wedding, depending on where people are and when they will be coming in for the event. I suppose if your nearest and dearest girlfriends and female family members are far-spread doing it close to the wedding date might be easiest to minimize travel costs.

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/18/2009 8:51:48 AM
Author: luvthemstrawberries

meresal - All people I know consider the word 'shower' to mean 'girls' too. I actually don't know if many men I know would want to come at all.

You know, I talked to my mom yesterday. We were talking about the different showers for my cousin, and she pointed out that I should do what I want, but I just need to make sure that since this is the one chance I plan to have to be 'showered' and do these things where I'm the 'guest of honor,' that those aren't things I'd look back on and wish I'd done. She sort of thinks that if I didn't have a bridal party who would throw me a lingerie shower, I might wish I had down the road. Or that if I don't do the traditional shower with the women, I might wish I'd had the chance to down the road. I mean, I admit, yeah it'd be sort of fun, like you're talking about having that huge get-together with all those women and getting to meet them. I think that might be nice. But I also like the idea of sharing it all with my FI too, since he's a whole half of this wedding thing.

I asked my mom why in the world people want to get lingerie and underwear from other people. I'd much rather pick that stuff out myself. Her response was 'sometimes these are just things you do! Most of that stuff peope don't actually wear anyway!' I told her I'd rather do things that are personal and meaningful, not just 'because.' And that I don't want people buying me things I'm never going to wear. I think she might have a hard time dealing with showers and stuff when I throw stuff at her that's not in etiquette books, such as me not having a bridal party, or wanting a co-ed shower.

I told her there were creative alternatives, such as hanging out with close family instead of a bridal party luncheon, or doing fun advice games instead of a lingerie shower. She said she's just got to go get a book on this stuff because she's just not up to date on it.

I told her this stuff usually isn't in books, and to go GOOGLE it - it's free, and unlimited information is at your fingertips! Hehe, she's old school.

Would there be a good way to have some sort of co-ed shower for where gifts are concerned, but still do something small that's women-only? Maybe just a luncheon closer to the wedding or something?

I think it's wonderful that your mom seems to be very open to what you want. That's a great thing!! Just a tid-bit... I have never actually been to a "Lingerie Shower". Usually the lingerie part is just the exchange of gifts that are brought to the Bachelorette Party. Are you planing on having one of those?

As far as my 80 person shower, lol, sharing with the boys is kinda out of the question because we are doing it the same weekend that the guys are going to Vegas for the Bachelor party. We are actually having it on a yacht, so we'll be on the lake all afternoon! Since I moved closer to the water, we wanted to do something that was a real tribute to where I am now in my life. Like I said earlier, it will be exactly what works best for us.

ETA: Sorry I didn't see your question at the bottom. We are having our bridal luncheon the afternoon before the Rehearsal Dinner. If you have people scattered around and will be OOT guests for the wedding then that might be a good idea for a small get together for women, or if everyone is in the same area, then maybe 2 or 3 weeks before you could do something on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 2/18/2009 9:47:04 AM
Author: meresal

I think it''s wonderful that your mom seems to be very open to what you want. That''s a great thing!! Just a tid-bit... I have never actually been to a ''Lingerie Shower''. Usually the lingerie part is just the exchange of gifts that are brought to the Bachelorette Party. Are you planing on having one of those?

As far as my 80 person shower, lol, sharing with the boys is kinda out of the question because we are doing it the same weekend that the guys are going to Vegas for the Bachelor party. We are actually having it on a yacht, so we''ll be on the lake all afternoon! Since I moved closer to the water, we wanted to do something that was a real tribute to where I am now in my life. Like I said earlier, it will be exactly what works best for us.

ETA: Sorry I didn''t see your question at the bottom. We are having our bridal luncheon the afternoon before the Rehearsal Dinner. If you have people scattered around and will be OOT guests for the wedding then that might be a good idea for a small get together for women, or if everyone is in the same area, then maybe 2 or 3 weeks before you could do something on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

Wow your shower sounds really fun!! I wish I could live near the water - I love it. That''s so awesome that you''re getting to do exactly what works for you - its exactly what everyone should do!!

I''ve never heard of "lingerie shower" just meaning the gifts at the bachelorette party. Good to know though. The ones I''ve been to were actually a lunch or dinner we all met for and then just gave lingerie to her. I just don''t like the idea of people trying to pick things my size, when I''ve NEVER been able to purchase ANY clothing by guessing the size. Always have to try on. Plus I just think if I''m going to have lingerie in the first place, I''d like to pick it out. Heh, so we might leave that part out. We probably won''t have bachelor/ette parties. If we do anything, it''d be hanging out together and with friends/family to go do something. But nothing separate or big bashes or anything. Maybe a trip, like musey did? Haha we don''t have any desire to go to Vegas, but some sort of getaway would be fun.

I think the day of the rehearsal dinner is a good day for the luncheon. Then people could just come that same day, no prior traveling required. Most of my family''s in the same state, but it''s a lot of traveling to ask for a luncheon on a random day, plus a shower or whatever another time. Eh, we''ll see. Thanks for the advice so far!!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 2/18/2009 9:36:05 AM
Author: Clairitek

I think a luncheon closer to the wedding sounds like a great idea! This way, your mom will still get a proper ladies-only thing and you will get your co-ed shower/party. Perhaps you can do it 1-2 days before the wedding, depending on where people are and when they will be coming in for the event. I suppose if your nearest and dearest girlfriends and female family members are far-spread doing it close to the wedding date might be easiest to minimize travel costs.

Grrrr my posts are getting eaten a lot lately!!!

Whew, anyway, this sounds like a good solution. I think close to the wedding would be good for those traveling a few hours.

So, if we do an engagement party sometime soon, then a co-ed wedding shower down the road, a "women''s lunch" a day or so before the wedding, then the rehearsal the night before the wedding... is that too much? Too crazy? Just right?

 

[musey]

Date: 2/18/2009 12:35:47 PM
Author: luvthemstrawberries
I''ve never heard of ''lingerie shower'' just meaning the gifts at the bachelorette party. Good to know though. The ones I''ve been to were actually a lunch or dinner we all met for and then just gave lingerie to her. I just don''t like the idea of people trying to pick things my size, when I''ve NEVER been able to purchase ANY clothing by guessing the size. Always have to try on. Plus I just think if I''m going to have lingerie in the first place, I''d like to pick it out. Heh, so we might leave that part out.

Funny story: one of my cousins pulled me aside during our ''shower'' and said "I thought you wouldn''t want to open this in mixed company - I thought this was a different kind of shower." She had bought me a bunch of the "bride" themed lingerie from Victoria''s Secret. What a sweetie. I was so glad she saved me from opening it in front of people!!

But yeah... it was all too small, so I never wore it, but didn''t have the time to return/exchange it before the wedding so now I have a bunch of too-small undies that say things like "kiss the bride" and "bride-to-be" on them

 

[musey]

Date: 2/17/2009 11:21:47 PM
Author: meresal
Ohh shenanigans!! love that word!

Me too!!

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 2/18/2009 12:41:14 PM
Author: luvthemstrawberries

Date: 2/18/2009 9:36:05 AM
Author: Clairitek

I think a luncheon closer to the wedding sounds like a great idea! This way, your mom will still get a proper ladies-only thing and you will get your co-ed shower/party. Perhaps you can do it 1-2 days before the wedding, depending on where people are and when they will be coming in for the event. I suppose if your nearest and dearest girlfriends and female family members are far-spread doing it close to the wedding date might be easiest to minimize travel costs.

Grrrr my posts are getting eaten a lot lately!!!

Whew, anyway, this sounds like a good solution. I think close to the wedding would be good for those traveling a few hours.

So, if we do an engagement party sometime soon, then a co-ed wedding shower down the road, a ''women''s lunch'' a day or so before the wedding, then the rehearsal the night before the wedding... is that too much? Too crazy? Just right?

My friend did all of those things. At least I think so. I wasn''t in her BP but I went to her engagement party, her bach party, and her bridal shower. I know she must have had an RD a well. I wouldn''t be surprised if they did a women''s lunch thing too because her mom and aunt are pretty proper ladies.

Think of it this way... it appears that your cousins is having 4 bridal showers, plus the engagement party and RD? Somehow I don''t think that your family and close girlfriends would be surprised to be asked to attend more than a couple of events.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 2/18/2009 12:48:57 PM
Author: musey

Funny story: one of my cousins pulled me aside during our ''shower'' and said ''I thought you wouldn''t want to open this in mixed company - I thought this was a different kind of shower.'' She had bought me a bunch of the ''bride'' themed lingerie from Victoria''s Secret. What a sweetie. I was so glad she saved me from opening it in front of people!!

But yeah... it was all too small, so I never wore it, but didn''t have the time to return/exchange it before the wedding so now I have a bunch of too-small undies that say things like ''kiss the bride'' and ''bride-to-be'' on them

Ha that''s pretty much what I figured would happen to me - people can never guess my size for anything. Even if I give them an average size, it all depends on the item.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 2/18/2009 3:58:15 PM
Author: Clairitek

My friend did all of those things. At least I think so. I wasn''t in her BP but I went to her engagement party, her bach party, and her bridal shower. I know she must have had an RD a well. I wouldn''t be surprised if they did a women''s lunch thing too because her mom and aunt are pretty proper ladies.

Think of it this way... it appears that your cousins is having 4 bridal showers, plus the engagement party and RD? Somehow I don''t think that your family and close girlfriends would be surprised to be asked to attend more than a couple of events.

EXCELLENT point Clairitek! I will keep telling myself that.