This is partially false. Despite the media''s continued attention at exaggerating divorce trends...evidence from journals says that the chance of a first marriage ending in divorce peaked in the 1980''s and then levelled out. However, unfortunately due to data constraints, we have no idea what is currently going on in divroce trends from about 1995 onward...
HA!! I know, isn't it ridiculous? I'm in complete "library" mode doin my academic journals, etc. etc.
Oh, no more paper talk, I beg of you! I can''t take anymore papers and am SO ready for this break!Date: 12/10/2006 7:22:32 PM
Author: musey
HA!! I know, isn''t it ridiculous? I''m in complete ''library'' mode doin my academic journals, etc. etc.
10 sources minimum! 7 must be academic journals, 2 from approved textbooks, and one of your choice that must be approved by the professor and BOTH Ta''s!
hahaha, I feel like a total nerd
ETA: now off for RING SHOPPING with the BF! so no more cohabitation stats for me for at least.... 3 hours....
I probably should have cited as well. I don''t have time to look up all of the cohabitation literature, but here are a couple to get people started if they are actually into this stuff:Date: 12/10/2006 7:37:30 PM
Author: indecisive
Thank you! It gets me so irritated when people will quote anonymous sources from the internet and think it is fact... or anecdotal evidence. I was a science major so it is all peer reviewed academic journals for me!
Date: 12/10/2006 7:06:43 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Yup, I agree. Unconditional love is something they preach at you at church so you don't go running out and getting divorce. Yet almost every church group I've ever been to would be understanding if someone divorced a wife beater. While it doesn't say it in the bible that you can divorce such low lifes (at least I don't think so), it certainly does say that husbands are supposed to love their wives as Christ loved the church, so that seems like an out to me.Date: 12/10/2006 6:57:37 PM
Author: musey
I hesitate to speak for anyone else, but I do think that we are not talking about habits of cleanliness as what we'd want to learn about pre-knot. There are much bigger issues (spending habits/financial priorities being only one). I appreciate the sentiment of 'marrying for love,' but for a large portion of the population, marriage is not as simple as 'love is all you need.'
Case in point: my lovely cousin got engaged about this time three years ago, after dating her boyfriend for four. They chose to have a short engagement; they were in love, the parents approved, everyone in her family LOVED this guy. They moved in together for a 'trial marriage,' and they both agreed that they would act 100% as though they were married. Not two weeks in, my cousin made an Emergency Room visit: she wanted to go out with her girlfriends, he said she 'belonged' to him now as they were 'married,' and long story short she ended up with a broken arm and twin shiners on her face
Had they not 'trial marriage-d' before their wedding day, she would have discovered this after it was too late to simply walk away.
THIS is an extreme case, but after witnessing all this I can't really see the argument for **unconditional** love.
ETA: TravellingGal--same thought at almost the same moment! Romantic love is nearly impossible to make unconditional, as much as we may want it to be.
I grew up in church and still retain my faith, as it is important to me. But I just think that unconditional love thing is too unrealistic. Even between a parent and child, love sometimes goes awry.
Some people are just less capable of loving others more than themselves.
Fact: Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits — in physical health, wealth and emotional wellbeing — that marriage does. In terms of these benefits, cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the well-being of their partner.
.... decides the discussion is on the verge of becoming volatile... sits quietly on the couch next to LK and Galateia. Chocolate pudding, anyone?....Date: 12/10/2006 7:36:02 PM
Author: Galateia
Date: 12/10/2006 9:25:02 AM
Author: ladykemma
...runs and gets popcorn.....
*offers to swap some twizzlers for a handful of LK''s popcorn*
yeah, you are right. according to the census bureau it was 50 percent, then they lowered it, then raised it now, its in the high 40s, which is what i think i meant to say.
Date: 12/10/2006 7:52:22 PM
Author: poptart
.... decides the discussion is on the verge of becoming volatile... sits quietly on the couch next to LK and Galateia. Chocolate pudding, anyone?....Date: 12/10/2006 7:36:02 PM
Author: Galateia
Date: 12/10/2006 9:25:02 AM
Author: ladykemma
...runs and gets popcorn.....
*offers to swap some twizzlers for a handful of LK''s popcorn*
*M*
I''m sorry, I had to speak... My mom''s a single mother and she adopted me so we have been getting this speech since the day I was born. Surprisingly, I am not, nor have I ever been, pregnant, addicted to drugs, a junvenile delinquent, academically challenged, or a plague upon society. And yet, certain "statistics" would have, and tried to, categorize me as this when I was younger. Ok, I''m done. I just get so mad when I read things like that.Date: 12/10/2006 7:53:27 PM
Author: TravelingGal
lol, I think your source is a bit biased...
David Popenoe is professor of sociology at Rutgers University, where he is also co-director of the National Marriage Project and former social and behavioral sciences dean. He specializes in the study of family and community life in modern societies and is the author or editor of nine books. His most recent books are Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society and Promises to Keep: Decline and Renewal of Marriage in America.
You''re entitled to your opinion. I''d be more interested in hearing about your own life experience with this issue (oh wait...that''s right, you aren''t married yet) than reading about all these random studies that proclaim things as ''fact.''
I don''t think you are taking it too personally. It certainly strikes a strong note with me as well. I''ve just learned that you can''t live to please others or prove yourself to them. It''s pointless to try, especially when there are better things that a person could be doing... like eating chocolate pudding! (can you tell I REALLLY want some??)Date: 12/10/2006 8:37:24 PM
Author: Kit
...beating dead horse...
I think that you have to accept that marriages in which the individuals didn''t cohabitate have ended in divorce...cohabitation is simply not what you think it is--some kind of kiss of death. Other factors contribute to divorce.
Honestly, you are really being offensive. Perhaps I am taking it too personally, but seriously you are basically saying that all of us who are cohabitating before marriage are going to get divorced! Now, I''m sure we all know this is plainly untrue, I know I do. But still, it is offensive to hear someone actually say it. I am here to tell you, your opinion on this matter is offensive so just be careful where/when you let it loose.
Oh c'mon poptart...don't you know the dessert of choice on this forum is lemon pie?Date: 12/10/2006 8:45:56 PM
Author: poptart
I don't think you are taking it too personally. It certainly strikes a strong note with me as well. I've just learned that you can't live to please others or prove yourself to them. It's pointless to try, especially when there are better things that a person could be doing... like eating chocolate pudding! (can you tell I REALLLY want some??)Date: 12/10/2006 8:37:24 PM
Author: Kit
...beating dead horse...
I think that you have to accept that marriages in which the individuals didn't cohabitate have ended in divorce...cohabitation is simply not what you think it is--some kind of kiss of death. Other factors contribute to divorce.
Honestly, you are really being offensive. Perhaps I am taking it too personally, but seriously you are basically saying that all of us who are cohabitating before marriage are going to get divorced! Now, I'm sure we all know this is plainly untrue, I know I do. But still, it is offensive to hear someone actually say it. I am here to tell you, your opinion on this matter is offensive so just be careful where/when you let it loose.
*M*
Oh don''t tempt me!! I have some lemon cookies in the kitchen that taste just like lemon pie!! Look what you''ve done TG... I''m off to cookie land!Date: 12/10/2006 8:48:54 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Oh c''mon poptart...don''t you know the dessert of choice on this forum is lemon pie?Date: 12/10/2006 8:45:56 PM
Author: poptart
I don''t think you are taking it too personally. It certainly strikes a strong note with me as well. I''ve just learned that you can''t live to please others or prove yourself to them. It''s pointless to try, especially when there are better things that a person could be doing... like eating chocolate pudding! (can you tell I REALLLY want some??)Date: 12/10/2006 8:37:24 PM
Author: Kit
...beating dead horse...
I think that you have to accept that marriages in which the individuals didn''t cohabitate have ended in divorce...cohabitation is simply not what you think it is--some kind of kiss of death. Other factors contribute to divorce.
Honestly, you are really being offensive. Perhaps I am taking it too personally, but seriously you are basically saying that all of us who are cohabitating before marriage are going to get divorced! Now, I''m sure we all know this is plainly untrue, I know I do. But still, it is offensive to hear someone actually say it. I am here to tell you, your opinion on this matter is offensive so just be careful where/when you let it loose.
*M*
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