May Have Found a Dress - Need HELP!

laine · May 30, 2008

Love the dress and I'm jealous of your sale price! That dress has less volume around the hips than the pink one, which I think is nice on you. I like the dress with a belt, but can't really see it in the pictures, it looks like it might be a little heavy/leathery for the dress, but I like the idea. A scarf could work too, just maybe one thats a little smaller?

And the cat tail made me laugh--they do so love to "help"

AmberGretchen · May 30, 2008

Hehe Omie - that''s Ollie''s favorite place to hang out with me (well, one of them anyway) - he just loves my bathroom (which I can kind of understand - the bathrooms in our apartment right now are kind of palatial, and it has a special heating fan that I usually turn on when I am in there so it is nice and warm...)

Laine - I''m so glad you like the brown dress. I think its pretty cute. Your comments about the belt are right on - I think if I could find something nice and wide like that belt, but less heavy and leathery, and possibly in a different color, that would be perfect. What material/color do you think might look nice?

laine · May 30, 2008

Date: 5/30/2008 3:37:16 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Thanks too laine - I'm constantly trying to work on looking better in pictures. I used to HATE pictures when I was heavier, but now that I've gotten a little more comfortable with them, I'm realizing I'm kind of awkward when I take pictures, so I'm trying to work on being less awkward. Your comments are really helpful

I hope you didn't take my post as criticism! You have a lovely figure, and your photos don't show it off enough! There are so many little things, like turning your body that can make a big difference (like in your brown dress pictures

). You can also try resting your hand kinda on your thigh, so its a little lower than on your waist. And if you point your front foot towards the camera it helps to lengthens your leg. Practice in the mirror so it feels more natural. It'll get pretty much automatic to angle yourself to a camera. I used to work as a photographer for an old time photo place, so I learned lots of little tricks--gotta make the women look their best!

For the belt/sash a deep magenta/pink might be nice, to add some color and echo the pink of your sweater. The dress is such a light summery fabric, that I think anything shiny or satiny might be too much. Maybe just a plain cotton fabric, or what about grosgrain ribbon? You could just tie it, or use two d-rings to make a belt (directions here, you could get away with glue if you don't sew). That would dress it down a little bit, which may or may not be appropriate for your events...

emeraldlover1 · May 30, 2008

Date: 5/30/2008 3:33:21 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Gypsy - that is STUNNING

I hope we can find it too...

Emeraldlover - you are so sweet! I'm actually a 6 in the DVF - I think its the chest, 'cause I need a 6 in some brands of dresses and a 4 or even a 2 in others, and it all seems to depend on how its cut in the chest. I do agree that the angle of the shots isn't great - as I said in an earlier post, most were taken from bad angles and in not-great lighting. That stripey number you posted is DARLING on you - you have such a lovely figure. I think I'm doubting the DVF for two reasons in addition to the comments here. One is that I don't think I have super-amazing collarbones/chest area, like you do in that picture. The other is more serious, that I don't really know if its 'me.' In general, my style tends to be fairly conservative, simple and tailored and classic (at least that's what I aim for), although I definitely have a very girly side as well. I guess I'm just not sure if I feel like the dress would really be me, or me trying to be someone else. Does that make sense? I agree - if its 'you' then its definitely a dress that can be rocked, in a big way, and based on the pic you posted, I think you will totally rock it. I'm just not totally sure I can, because I'm not totally sure how 'me' it is...

AG...I totally understand what you are saying about it not being you. I know that I can wear those styles because it is me. My conservative work atire drives me nuts because it isn't me. Its still stylish but I don't feel as comfortable in it because I know that its not my personal taste. Unfortuntatly I don't have too many options because I have to wear a suit every day to work. Ok, that's besides the point. The point is when you are comfortable you are confident and you feel good about yourself. If you don't think you'll feel that way wearing it then by all means return it. I bought a dress last summer for a redic. amount of money and I never wore it. Wound up giving to my sister. It was in tons of magazines but I didn't feel like it suited me. I think we are on the same page and I still think its awesome but I'm biased because I also own it. PS... the picture I posted my arms are slightly back so it looks like I have a smaller frame than I do. I have pretty broad sholders but I've learned how to hide them from that camera angle.

I hate looking at myself in pictures btw...! I have a body and I accept that but in my mind I'm much smaller. When I see pictures it just pisses me off. I've never taken a month off of working out my whole life and I eat a very clean simple healthy diet but alas...still never gonna be 100lbs. And...no matter what I do...I still have big arms but you can't tell from that picture. My point is, I understand how hard it is to not second guess yourself with these dress choices as I'm constantly trying to find something that doesn't make me look like a whale and the same time fits my chest.

AmberGretchen · May 30, 2008

Laine - don''t worry, I didn''t take it as criticism at all. You are very sweet to say such nice things about my figure

I love the idea of something in the pink/magenta family with that chocolate brown. I think I''ll see what I can find in stores this weekend, and if I can''t find anything, then I''ll try out finding some ribbon and making the belt like you suggested. Both of the events I would wear the dress too would be not terribly fancy, so I think just about any kind of belt would be fine. I might try to rope my mom into making the belt if I can''t find anything I like - she is genius with a needle and thread!

AmberGretchen · May 30, 2008

Emeraldlover - I really think you have a darling little figure, but I know what you mean about wanting to be someplace you just won''t ever be. I think its a little different for me, because I''ve never been small, and in fact was quite a bit larger for longer than I care to think about. But I also totally hear what you are saying about style. I think in some ways I''m still trying to find mine, but I always find myself regretting it the least and feeling the best when I wear things that are classic and tailored, except for the few super-feminine items I have that I adore. But my favorites are all pretty simple. So I think I just need to try to keep that in mind, and not let myself get as carried away with a vision of someone I might think I want to be for a day or whatever, because its not really me.

emeraldlover1 · May 30, 2008

You are so completely right. And...as far as body image is concerned...I don''t consider myself small. I''m by far the largest of my friends however, I am strong and I know that someday I''ll learn to accept it. I really think that we are the hardest on ourselves and my original point is that you look fantastic. The thing is, you know what makes you feel awesome and I truly believe that expensive clothes are only worth it if it makes you feel good. I hope that makes sense. I chimed in because I have similar issues with the way clothes fit me and then look in the camera. It can be quite different because of the curves.

BTW...I like the dress with the belt a lot. I always like that look and I don''t think you can go wrong there. I think the sash however makes the dress look "bridesmaidish" and that look I don''t like to see on anyone. I presume that is a matter of personal style as well.

You look great and whatever you choose you won''t be able to go wrong with that rockin bod.

AmberGretchen · May 30, 2008

emeraldlover - I think if I hung out with your friends I would get a complex, because you are definitely NOT large, in fact you appear to have a lovely trim figure, and so I can only imagine how your friends might look...

Totally agree about the scarf - I liked the idea because of the colors in the scarf, but it just didn''t look right on, especially the longer I look at the pics. I''m liking the belt though, so I''m going to try to find something similar in size and style, but more refined, and a bit smaller (you can''t see it in the pictures because the color is so similar to the dress, but that one has a good 8-10 inches hanging out in space because I normally wear it down on my hips...

)

SDL - thank you, you are so sweet. I think the gold would look lovely too. Do you think I can pull it off with my (freakishly) pale complexion? I normally only wear/buy silver-toned stuff because of my skin tone (also because my wedding set and all my other "everyday" stuff is set in platinum and/or white gold).

canuk-gal · May 30, 2008

Hi:

You have such a lovely figure AG! I wish I could find that article I read recently about dresses and body "type"; InStyle mag???

http://www.instyle.com/instyle/general/gallery/0,,1544543_2,00.html

http://www.happygrrls.com/fashion/howtodressforbodytype.html

cheers--Sharon

AmberGretchen · May 30, 2008

Thanks so much for the links Sharon - I guess one problem I always have with those articles is that I feel I fall into more than one category, and I''m never sure which is the best to pick - I feel like I could easily be characterized as "curvy" and "big bust" but also now that I''ve lost weight, I find myself having a lot of the problems they ascribed to "petite" women. My hips are actually not super-wide, and I have a butt and thighs but they are relatively smaller compared to my bust. But definitely not small enough to characterized as "slender"

That''s definitely a good starting point though - I think I''ll really try to stick to things that have some kind of waistband whenever possible.

Tacori E-ring · May 30, 2008

THAT''S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

That is the shape you need. Makes you look MUCH slimmer (like you really are

). I think it looks cute with the belt. Maybe a thinner one.

brazen_irish_hussy · May 30, 2008

I have the same skin as you, and I find as long as there is not too much gold next to the face or if it isn''t too yellow, it can be really pretty. I like the idea of a noticable belt because it draws attention to your tiny waist.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2970497/0~2376779~6008000~6006949?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6006949&P=1 I think this is very classy

http://www.dillards.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=301&langId=-1&storeId=301&productId=501420421&view=20&No=20&N=1590830&searchUrl=%2Fendeca%2FEndecaStartServlet%3Fview%3D20%26No%3D20%26N%3D1590830&R=02451470 The silver one is fun

This is probably out of your pricerange, but this dress would be amazing on you: http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=306067&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=EverGreen

AmberGretchen · May 30, 2008

SDL - you''re such a sweetie, thank you

Good to know us pale gals can pull off the gold - I''ll see what I can find in the way of reasonably-priced gold accessories for that dress...

BIH - those are awesome belt suggestions, I really like them both. I''ll keep an eye out for something in that family - I love the matte gold, and I totally agree with you - super classy

That Suzy Chin dress is beautiful too - not out of the price range at all, considering the DVF cost twice that

I think they sell Suzy Chin at Nordy''s, and I was definitely going to go by there this weekend, so I''ll keep an eye out for that one

FrekeChild · May 30, 2008

Date: 5/28/2008 6:11:18 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 5/28/2008 6:02:22 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
I TOTALLY agree - I have friends who talk all the time about how they wish they had more up top, and they never believe me when I tell them they really are better off. I definitely feel like I got way more than my share, and have considered having a reduction (and may still at some point). It is really a nightmare when shopping, and it really makes one very self-conscious. I''m so jealous of a lot of my smaller-chested friends, because they can wear all kinds of things that would just look obscene on me

Click to expand...

Oh honey, I walk in your shoes.. I really do. Hugs!!!

If you either of you decide to have a reduction-let me know I''ll tell you all about my experience (32GG-34DD)...

canuk-gal · May 31, 2008

Date: 5/30/2008 6:54:25 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Thanks so much for the links Sharon - I guess one problem I always have with those articles is that I feel I fall into more than one category, and I''m never sure which is the best to pick - I feel like I could easily be characterized as ''curvy'' and ''big bust'' but also now that I''ve lost weight, I find myself having a lot of the problems they ascribed to ''petite'' women. My hips are actually not super-wide, and I have a butt and thighs but they are relatively smaller compared to my bust. But definitely not small enough to characterized as ''slender''

That''s definitely a good starting point though - I think I''ll really try to stick to things that have some kind of waistband whenever possible.

HI AG:

Oh, of course--body shape is rarely black and white but on more on continuum (kinda like Dave Atlas'' shape selector for fancy stones LOL!!!); but I think the tenets are there--accentuating your small waist, elongating your legs.....yanno

cheers--Sharon

AmberGretchen · May 31, 2008

Hehe Sharon - fancy stones. So can I be a cushion, or perhaps a radiant

Seriously though, I do see what you are saying, and will for sure keep that in mind while shopping today - elongate the legs, emphasize the waist...

AmberGretchen · May 31, 2008

Date: 5/31/2008 1:16:11 AM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 5/28/2008 6:11:18 PM

Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 5/28/2008 6:02:22 PM

Author: AmberGretchen

I TOTALLY agree - I have friends who talk all the time about how they wish they had more up top, and they never believe me when I tell them they really are better off. I definitely feel like I got way more than my share, and have considered having a reduction (and may still at some point). It is really a nightmare when shopping, and it really makes one very self-conscious. I''m so jealous of a lot of my smaller-chested friends, because they can wear all kinds of things that would just look obscene on me

Click to expand...

Oh honey, I walk in your shoes.. I really do. Hugs!!!

Click to expand...

If you either of you decide to have a reduction-let me know I''ll tell you all about my experience (32GG-34DD)...

Freke honey, if you''re willing to share, I would love to hear about your experience. Its one of those things that is almost easier to talk about over the internet than in person, if you know what I mean, and I''m sure your story would be very valuable to those of us who are struggling with similar issues.

FrekeChild · May 31, 2008

If you have some questions to get me started that would probably be good, because I have no idea where to start...

AmberGretchen · Jun 1, 2008

Well, I guess I would be curious about what drove your decision to finally have the reduction, if you wouldn''t mind sharing. In your mind, what were the pros and cons, and if there was one, what was the thing that "tipped the scales" so to speak in favor of having the reduction.

Are you happy you did it? Were the results what you expected? Would you have done something differently if you could?

merrijoy · Jun 2, 2008

Hello,

I did not read through everyone's comment but I hope you don't mind me posting. I think we may have very similar body types. I don't know if you mentioned how big your girls are, but I am 5'0", 127 lbs, size 4 - 6 with a 34D/DD. I hear you all on how frustrating clothes shopping is and friends saying they wish for bigger, when I am Please, take some of mine! I say almost daily now that I want the reduction surgery, I am just scared about BFing, getting bigger again while pregnant. And on the other hand, I am scared if I don't do the surgery before kiddies, gosh, how big can they get?! Yikes!...

Do any of you big chested girls where strapless bras? I feel so uncomfortable in them...Also, I have so much trouble finding good, comfortable, not too expensive regular everyday bras (I think I may have to look at those $80+ bras, but I really didn't want to go there....I have 3 regular bras from about 3+ years ago, made by Maidenform, they are 34D Full Coverage, but my luck, Maidenform no longer makes them...

Anyway, sorry for the theadjack, back to you...You look great in the B/W print dress and the brown dress. Both are more flattering to your figure IMHO....

This dress is very cute and on sale, But the strapless may be an issue (don't know if you are comfortable in strapless or not or if this dress needs it...)
http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=13842&Nr=AND%28CAT_SALE_FLAG%3aY%29&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_349&N=1200065&Nty=1&categoryId=152&showAll=Y&defaultColorNameFromCategory=Chalk&defaultSizeTypeFromCategory=Misses#ATLtop

Also, I see so many cute dresses at Dillards on this link...
http://www.dillards.com/endeca/EndecaStartServlet?N=1604007

Halters work well for me, because you can tie the neck up tight to bring the girls up, may not have to wear a bra, etc....
HTH and GL

ETA: Yup, also agree with you, am I petite? am I curvy? What the heck is my body type? LOL

~M

FrekeChild · Jun 2, 2008

Date: 6/1/2008 11:25:04 AM
Author: AmberGretchen
Well, I guess I would be curious about what drove your decision to finally have the reduction, if you wouldn't mind sharing. In your mind, what were the pros and cons, and if there was one, what was the thing that 'tipped the scales' so to speak in favor of having the reduction.

Are you happy you did it? Were the results what you expected? Would you have done something differently if you could?

Yay! A starting point...
Well my chest was enormous. I had been a size 2/4 and had 32DD when I was in high school but when I got older (20ish) I started to gain weight from going to culinary school-and they quickly became enormous. I was having to order bras from Bravissimo because any bras I could find in my size would cost about $70 each, while at Bravissimo they cost about 30-40 each-even with the exchange rate-plus they were lacy and pretty instead of being grandma bras which is what I would have had to pay $70 for here. I have bras that range (I kept them-I had also kept my old bras from when I was smaller) from 32E-32GG, which I was slowly growing out of when I got the surgery. I would estimate I was well on my way to being a 32H.

One of the main reasons I did it was that I was going away to culinary school where I would have to be standing at least 8 hours a day, not to mention lifting 50# bags of flour and sugar. Between that happening and the fact that I'm only 5'2 it made life in general very cumbersome. I would wake up everyday to instant back pain if I didn't immediately put on a bra. At twenty years old my breasts were much closer to my belly button than my collarbone and it was next to impossible to find shirts that fit. I spent most of my life in sweatshirts because most everything else would show an inordinate amount of cleavage(my bras did an awesome job of lifting and shaping). I was working as a receptionist in my dad's divorce law office and I actually had a woman look down at my chest (wearing a relatively normal shirt) and ask if they were implants. Bleh.

I had considered getting the surgery from the time I was in high school and buying size 12 prom dresses and getting them altered everywhere but the chest, but it was never a necessity until I started waking up to pain everyday and facing the fact that standing would be part of my profession. In the summer of 2003 at 21, my mom and I decided to look into it and started to bug the insurance. My mom said that she and my dad would pay for it even if the insurance didn't cover it. Well the insurance balked at first but I had a consultation with the guy who would end up being my surgeon, who took pictures of my naked torso (mixed feelings on that one) and wrote a letter to them detailing my situation and naming my small frame as being a huge reason for the surgery. His main concern was that I would have major back deformation if I let it continue as it was. One of the reasons it hadn't affected me too badly so far is because I had played tennis my entire life and my back muscles were really strong and were compensating for the extra weight on the front. With my surgeon's letter of recommendation and pictures the insurance said that they would pay for the surgery, we'd just have to pay the $500 deductible.

One concern to me was the idea of potential children and breast feeding. There wasn't any evidence of breast feeding working or not working after surgery, and I didn't know if I wanted children. So that was a concern but at the same time, with the rate of size increase with pregnancy my surgeon said that breast feeding would be very hard if not impossible because at the size that they were, they would probably increase to an I or bigger. Yikes.

Another thing I considered was the nerve endings. My nipples were ultra sensitive, to the point of pain. My surgeon warned me that nipple sensation would likely decrease with surgery-that would actually be a pro.

So Pros for having surgery:
clothing would fit better
cheaper bras
not ordering bras from England
lack of back pain
loss of nipple sensation
prevention for future back problems
greater ease of movement
People would stop asking me if they were fake
being able to wear a bathing suit comfortably

Cons for having surgery:
recovery period and pain
probably can't breastfeed
scarring

Now surgery is a whole other story, but I think this gives you an idea:
Relatively graphic pics of the incisions made(graphic artist rendition).

As for recovery, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The biggest problem I had was that I sleep either on my side or on my stomach. Well, with massive incisions across my chest and stretching to my sides, the only option for sleep was on my back. Which ended up causing a lot of pain during my second night of sleep. I didn't have any painkillers after my first dose of Vicodin after surgery because they made me nauseous, so I cut all of the painkillers off and went cold turkey. I thought that the back pain was kind of ironic considering I did it to prevent back pain. The best part of it all was getting the bandages off and seeing them. Not being able to shower was probably the worst after the back pain.

When he asked what size I wanted to be after surgery I told him as small as he could make me. Because of how big I was he told me the smallest I could go would be a C determined by the nerves going from the nipple to the chest wall. Immediately after surgery I was a C as far as I could tell. For the first time ever I was able to wear a bra that didn't have an underwire. I went without a bra for the first time ever. Not only was it a breast reduction, it was also a breast lift, and I hadn't had perkiness since about 6th grade. There was a bit of pokiness of the crease of the skin on the outside under my armpits-but he said that that is because of the enormous size and that it would relax with time. He removed a grand total of 7ish pounds of fat and breast tissue. As he said, "about the size of a newborn".

Now I am a 34DD, the increase in the ribcage size being from the creases in the skin, and the remainder of a tiny bit of breast tissue around my ribcage. The size has increased because of a little bit more weight gain from culinary school and from them relaxing. After the initial tightness of the skin over them relaxed they were a D, and then the weight gain made it a DD. Now I can wear normal clothes (although even with weightloss I'll probably never be able to wear smaller than a size 10 up top) and buy bras from Victoria's Secret-although they don't make a lot of bigger bras so I tend to stay away. I have more confidence, and I feel better about myself. I still go without a bra around the house, and I don't have to put on a bra immediately when I get out of bed. I can wear strapless tops for the first time. I did have some nipple sensation loss, but that was fantastic. My GYNO has seen lots of breast reductions and she told me that mine is the best she's ever seen. Because I was so young I have minimal scarring and I feel totally comfortable wearing really low cut shirts, even if I don't most of the time.

So to answer your questions, the one thing that tipped the scales was my comfort. I faced a lot of pain and potentially back surgery if I didn't do something quickly. I am thrilled I did it. I would go back and do it again in a heartbeat. The results were better than what I expected. I hoped for even a few sizes down, but to be able to wear normal clothes and bras was amazing. I don't think I would have done anything differently except work out more and try to lose more weight before surgery. And probably try to work out my pectoral muscles to see what kind of change that would have had. Other than that...nothing.

Any more questions? Sorry that got so long...

ETA: the best strapless I've ever bought was this one from Dillards. Only I paid full price for it, but it was so worth it. In fact I'm thinking about buying another one now that it's on sale...Hmmm...Anyway, it actually holds them up-which is still quite the task.

AmberGretchen · Jun 2, 2008

merri - thanks so much for chiming in. It sounds like we are very similar sizes all around - you are right, and that we have had similar experiences. Its so good to know I''m not alone.

The AT dress you posted is DARLING. I did actually find two dress options shopping over the weekend, but will have to find some time to take pics and post them and get everyone''s opinion - right now I am supposed to be studying hard for a phone interview I have coming up on Wednesday. Sadly I never did make it to AT, but I''m hoping maybe I can later in the week, after my interview.

Freke - thanks so much for sharing about your experiences. That is incredibly helpful. I think one thing it clarifies for me is that I am really in a more borderline area. Yours sounds like a really clear-cut case, where it was clearly justified for extreme pain and also an H is a pretty extreme bra size. Mine, as I said, is more borderline. I do have back and neck pain, but its not severe most of the time, although I think part of that is because I was a dancer for many years and so my posture and my core and back are much stronger than average (as per my Dr.). Also, a 32DD is not nearly as extreme as a G or an H, and I am able to wear more of a size 6 on top most of the time, so not sure again if that pushes me into the extreme category so much.

Its definitely really helpful food for thought - I also don''t do well with painkillers, so that''s something to consider as well. I think I may have issues with anesthesia as well - the one and only time I had surgery, I spent the night after throwing up blood all night (sorry if TMI). Obviously, I''m not eager to repeat that experience.

In any case, I am going to save your reply on my computer so that I can refer back to it and mull it over, and I appreciate more than I can say that you were willing to share your experiences so articulately and in such detail - that is really incredibly helpful and very generous of you.

FrekeChild · Jun 2, 2008

No problem. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

I have a friend who got it done at a DD and she wouldn''t go back either. She actually had a complication with her incisions not closing-but even with that she would do it again. I think she is a full C now-even after pregnancy. Her daughter is about 7 months old now, but she wasn''t able to breast feed. If you want I can bug her about it too.

I know mine was a bit of an extreme case, but I''m glad I helped a little bit.

brazen_irish_hussy · Jun 2, 2008

I had a friend who had it doen and was very happy with it. However, she waited until after she had kids so any changes from the pregnancy would happen before being worked on and because she felt it was so important that she breastfeed her kids. She was glad to have it done, but also glad she waited, despite the troubles those Gs gave her.

AmberGretchen · Jun 3, 2008

Thanks again freke and BIH - I think that''s a lot of info to digest for now (which clearly says to me its not a decision I''m quite ready to make. But I will probably bug you guys about it more in the future

In the meantime, the lovely and patient Gypsy and Rockzilla did some more dress shopping with me after the GTG on Saturday, so I thought I''d post some more pictures. I still haven''t made it to Ann Taylor, but I''m planning to this week sometime. I won''t tell you which was our favorite or what our thoughts were until people have chimed in, but I''d LOVE to hear everyone''s input.

The first dress is a black satin dress, by Maggie London.