My mom is such a hypocrite!

[isaku5]

Date: 2/16/2008 11:49:24 PM
Author: Neveah
MOB DRESSES OOPS. Couldn''t attach dress for the life of me. These dresses are gorgeous and perfect (read: appropriate!) Actually the whole collection is great and the colors are gorgeous!

Beautiful dresses!!!

 

[door knob solitaire]

I hope this is ok to post...this was Sabines first post about the issue. You can tell by the title and her wording she was trying to fing a very sensitive way to handle this.

In this post she showed us a picture of her mom in her first dress choice. I thought it might help here as you can see her coloring and may have a better opinion on what will look best on her.

This has truly been a full court press involvement, but helpful, with sincere posts from everyone. I just wish we could all take MOM and get her a knockout dress that will be JUST RIGHT FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS...we all feel the same about that.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/should-i-tell-my-mom-i-dont-like-her-dress.71252/

 

[isaku5]

Thanks, DKS, I had not seen that picture of Sabine''s mom, and agree with you that seeing her build and colouring are definitely helpful. The dress that she''s wearing in that photo is not that flattering. Mom can do a whole lot better than that.

Is there a picture of Mom in the "infamous gold dress"?

I''m sorry if I''m offending Sabine or anyone else by taking Mom''s side in my posts. I can''t say that I know how she feels as I haven''t been through the trauma of divorce. I can, however, imagine myself in this tricky situation and, knowing only how I''d feel if put in her place, have felt the need to post.

Since Sabine and Mom live far apart, is there someone (who has a good fashion sense) who could go with her to try on gowns. I want Mom to look smashing!!!

 

[tenfour]

isabel, i know where you are coming from. i think it sucks that the person who is the focus of the thread can''t be here to participate and maybe defend herself. the discussion has gone far beyond the colour of a dress to an amateur analysis about why she wants to wear it. livingroom psychologists, maybe it has nothing to do with a divorce or showing up a daughter or a new girlfriend or any of that. maybe she just likes the colour!! the point is to steer her away from wearing a particular dress and that can be done without discussing issues that, quite frankly, none of us have any business talking about.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Isabel...I agree with you . And really I think if it was all boiled down, every poster wants that too. It did get a little to close when the dress resembled a wedding dress...in the light color...and I think that is how it got back to a color such as blue. I voted for the blue as it was the same dress...just not bridal color.

But you know if I were in Moms shoes, (gf coming

or not) I would want to look as if I were attending a black tie affair...appropriate in style and cut...and a color that complimented ME and my skin coloring. I wonder if that is why Mom is so attached to the gold dress. After trying on colors, the gold has a elegant subtle aura about it. With her skin coloring it probably is flattering to her in her reflection. I can really see that I would prefer to blend into the situation and maybe with that shade she has found a comfort zone in doing just that. I think we are all stuck in the too bridally category to see that.

SG found a few dresses that had smock type tops. There is no confusion that they are not bridal in shape. I think the color Gold, Bronze, Taupe, Silver what ever would go with (but not be matchy matchy) the shades of the wedding would be appropriate...If they were a shape of dress that didn''t scream Wedding.

Moms first choice was not to my liking in size, cut, color etc. To me it looked like she was trying to be a member of the wedding party. Now after trying on the Gold, I think she feels separated and an individual.

I am thinking of the Hydrangea flower. You know how you see blues and purples in the tops of the petals...then some whites or ivory''s...and then a deeper golden color moving into sage green. So to me the gold option can be viable...and actually very beautiful.

SABINE: can you tell us on a regular daily basis...what shades does you mom usually wear? Is she a color nut? Or more neutrals?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Okay, I know you have probably been overwhelmed at this point by suggestions, but here are my suggestions. I don''t remember if you''ve said you''re trying to stay under a certain price, but I would try Saks. They have some more conservative dresses. Also, Tadashi. I really like Tadashi. I wore a Tadashi dress to an event earlier this year and it was gorgeous and it wasn''t crazy expensive. Also, I am a plus size and I thought it looked really good. Obviously your Mom is not much of a plus size if she is at all, but she has a nice figure and she needs a dress that will show it off while staying conservative. You could easily add a wrap to most Tadashi dresses. Make sure you change it to the Tadashi Collection and not just Tadashi Shoji. Here''s the link: http://www.tadashicollection.com/#app=6844&24f7-selectedIndex=1&9471-selectedIndex=0&9d57-selectedIndex=0&1ce4-selectedIndex=0

Hope that helps and best of luck, just try to regain/maintain patience. It will work out.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Tenfour...

Welcome to the thread!

Not one of us has any malice in our hearts on this issue. We are attempting (amateur* as we may sound ) to help our Beloved member Sabine deal and understand why she can''t get through to her mom. There has to be some way to help her understand or come up with a viable solution to get the stress out of her days.

We would love to hear what choice you think may solve this multi thread topic.

Maybe your coming in fresh and new is just what we are looking for! Give it your best shot!


amateur* you may be surprised many posters here, are far from amateur on many topics...it is possible this could also be the case here.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

If your Mom is a size 10+ this dress could also work. If she''s smaller then, it wouldn''t obviously and sorry if I offended you! Also, it may be too sexy, what does everyone think? I''d have to find/see the BM dresses too of course. Ahh sigh oh well it''s worth a try. I think the purple and red might work with the lavendar/blues. http://www.kiyonna.com/plus-size-clothing/Rehearsal/12070902

 

[surfgirl]

I''m guessing with your mom''s coloring, something in the green, eggplant, silver, or yes, dark gold, would look great on her. I just really think looking at MOB dresses, rather than eveningwear, makes the dresses look frumpy. I dont know why MOB dresses seem to have to have a dowdy jacket and some shiny crap all the time but it does seem to be the norm. I think there''s a ton of options in evening wear that would be fantastic on your Mom. Sabine, if you cannot be with her, what about making an appt. with a personal shopper at the Nordstrom''s closest to where your mom lives? And you can call the personal shopper who''ll be helping her and tell her what you hope for your mom so she can steer her in the right direction...?

 

[surfgirl]

Sabine, what''s the 411 on this? Any progress?

 

[diamondfan]

I think it is tough to walk in alone and see your ex with someone else.

BUT.

You have been very clear, and unless you are being extremely unreasonable, I think that her LOVING her dress should be less important than how you feel. I am NOT saying she should feel miserable or unhappy, but, if she likes it a lot versus loves it, can she not just make it work? I mean, it is your day, and while I do not buy into any Bridezilla behavior, hey, why can''t she make you happy, as long as she looks great and the dress is appropriate?

 

[Sabine]

Whoops, sorry Surfgirl, must have missed the request for an update.

She ordered the dress in blue, and after giving me a guilt trip about how terrible she felt when she returned the gold one and threatening to go back and rebuy it, she is now saying that she just loves the dress in blue. I have a strong sneaking suspicion that she doesnt' really love it and is just trying to make me happy by saying that, but I've decided that even if that's true, I'm not going to worry about it because I AM happy that she is wearing it. I offered to go shopping with her again and just start over, but she is set, so I'm officially done worrying about it!

Thanks for all the input and support!

ETA: Wow, I just realized I missed a whole bunch of posts on this thread...shame on me! Trust me, I was not offended by any of the opinions or suggestions. I think I just got so frustrated with my mom that I wanted to put the whole thing FAAAR out of my mind for a while. Although the dress issue has been solved as stated above (although I have to admit, I do still feel a smidge of remorse...I do want my mom to look smashing, so hopefully she does in the blue, I still haven't seen her in it), my mom and I are feeling the tension over other issues as well, which is really bumming me out.