NOT engaged Wahhh!!! Need to Vent!

[bluebubbles]

this is the last day of 2007. i am so disappointed that i won''t be getting a 2007 proposal. i have so many feelings rummaging inside me right now. i am feeling angry, hurt, depressed, sad, stupid, like a fool and an idiot. i posted a few months back about being devastated and hurt that my BF suggested ring shopping and when i found a great deal online we had it shipped for viewing, his conclusion was the stone is a bit small and he wasn''t ready to propose yet. i had a lot of great support from you girls and said that he was at least honest about it. i know, but you just can''t help but feel devastated when someone suggests something and later backs out and you wanted it so much.

well, here''s an update. after that incident, i told myself to not think about it anymore. it worked out well and just continued being BF/GF and dating, up until a month ago. my BF said that he was ready to get married. we should go ring shopping blah, blah, blah. I kind of laughed it off inside and I thought nothing of it cuz i didn''t want to get my hopes up again. so the weekend came and he again suggested ring browsing. so, i agreed and we went to visit some jewelers. we found a setting that we both liked, but did not find the center stone. a part of me was hoping that he did his own research and bought the center stone already. but nope that didn''t happen. i tried not to get too excited about the whole engagement idea, but i was too week. ever since that day of ring shopping, all i could think about was being engaged to the love of my life. it consumes 1/2 of my thoughts. i know i want to be with him and love him so muhc and just want to start our life together. is that too much to ask for? anyway, one of the jewelers called us earlier this week and said she had a stone for us to look at. so, we went to look at it this weekend. i REALLY liked it and he liked it too. it was perfect in size and price. although, no indication of him interested in buying it. anyway, we left and i couldn''t help but feel sad inside. i wanted to cry, but i held it together. last night, at home (we don''t live together) i cried myself to sleep because i was just soo sad that i am not getting a 2007 proposal. when my BF said he was ready, i said to him, i hope we can be engaged by the end of the year. his response was smart. he didn''t say no and he didn''t say yes. what he said was, "if things continue the way they are (meaning good), you won''t be disappointed". things have been good and he didn''t disagree, but the bottom line is, i will be disappointed

another thought came to mind and it made me so angry. why do guys have so much power. i look at the LIW list and wonder why we are dependent on the guys to mkae us happy? we''re agonizing over the fact that we want to be engaged. my BF wants to make me happy, but he''ll do everything else, but propose. *sigh* i just needed to vent and express my sadness. thanks for reading girls.

any girls out there whose thoughts have been consumed / obsessed with getting engaged? if so, how did you over come that? any remedies?

Happy New Year Girls!!! I am hoping everything you hope for will come true in 2008.

 

[CrookedRock]

I understand where you are coming from. I was ready before my BF was and he is 3 years older! When I brought up that I was finally ready we went to look at rings. Long story short... ring was not bought, and he saisd he wasn''t ready. I explained to him that him telling me that was the same as him proposing to me and me saying no, how wouldhe feel?
Look at it this way (at least this is what I am doing)... He said he was ready!

You went to look at rings together!

2007 was stressful bc you were on edge waiting. 2008 will be the year! I would prefer to start a year off good, then end a bad year with a forced engagement... Good luck in 2008! I think it''s gonna be a good one for a lot of LIW''s!

 

[bee*]

You never know what might happen tonight! Hopefully he might have a surprise set up!

In terms of them having all the power, they only have it if you let them have it. For me, marriage was something that I wanted and if D had promised me and let me down, I would have walked away from the relationship. I know that it''s hard to think about walking away, but I think by staying there and letting him make promises and then if he breaks them, that is what gives them the power. In my case, D wasn''t ready for quite a while (we dated for 8 and a half years before getting engaged, however I was only ready to get engaged about a year ago). After we had a talk about it, he promised me it would be by the end of this year, which I think gave him nearly two years. He proposed in October, however if he had turned around to me today and said that it wasn''t going to happen then, I would have walked away.

Like I said though, I really hope that he''s planning something for tonight.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

It sounds like to me that he just wants to surprise you. I doubt he would be going to look at rings if he wasn''t serious. Just hang on a little while longer! Some people mistakenly tell guys not to propose during the holidays so that the engagement date is special on it''s own. However, as someone who has been married a long time, I think that is very misguided. After you are married awhile, the only date you celebrate is the wedding anniversary. All the dating and engagement dates fade away. Letting the holidays go by without a proposal does set many girls up for disappointment. I always tell the guys on here, when I have a chance, to propose right before the holidays so the girl can show off her ring to family and friends at holiday gatherings. But guys just don''t always "get it". Try to keep a smile and believe that your special day is coming soon!

 

[bluebubbles]

thanks crooked and bee. i was going to remain hopeful for something tonight, but decided not to. it''s just too much emotional stress for me. besides, we haven''t even talked about what we''re doing tonight. crooked, did make a good point. as i look back, 2007 did contain a lot of emotional hurt for me ( i''ll save this for another post another time) and i guess i wanted it to end on a high note. but, w/o a 2007 proposal, it''ll just add to that pile of negative dump and conclude that 2007 just plain sucked. i just need to change my outlook to think positively in 2008, i might win the lottery!

bee, you do make a good point about us staying around for the guys to have power and you hit the bulls eye by saying it is hard to walk away. i thought with me getting disappointed and hurt many times, it would be easy to walk, but it''s not. i love him so much. i''d sacrafice anything for him and all i can think about is, if he loved me so much as he claims he does, can''t he sacrafice his fear of marraige for me? i would.

 

[chocolatefudge]

bluebubbles, I hope bee is right and he has got a surprise planned!! That was my first thought too.
I know exactly how you feel, I am also really disappointed that I''m ending another year not engaged.My bf has never promised me that an engagement was coming but I have got my hopes up loads of times. We''ve been together for almost 7 years, since I was 17. He said we couldn''t get engaged while we were both studying at university, so I took that to assume it would be when we graduated, that was almost two years ago...... It took me a while to get a job and he said we should both be financially stable before getting engaged, but when I got a job in November ''06 still no engagement!
I know he will want the whole thing to be a surprise and he will buy the ring himself and spring it on me one day but at the moment it just feels like it''s never going to happen.
He told me over Christmas that we will get engaged next year but after a long chat last night where he basically told me he has no money and is finding it difficult to save up I just feel really deflated.
Reading this back to myself makes my bf sound horrible and like he''s just telling me lies all the time. He really isn''t like that and I do believe he does want to marry me, I''m just not sure it''s anytime soon.......

Let us know if anything happens tonight!!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/31/2007 12:13:00 PM
Author:bluebubbles
this is the last day of 2007. i am so disappointed that i won''t be getting a 2007 proposal. i have so many feelings rummaging inside me right now. i am feeling angry, hurt, depressed, sad, stupid, like a fool and an idiot. i posted a few months back about being devastated and hurt that my BF suggested ring shopping and when i found a great deal online we had it shipped for viewing, his conclusion was the stone is a bit small and he wasn''t ready to propose yet. i had a lot of great support from you girls and said that he was at least honest about it. i know, but you just can''t help but feel devastated when someone suggests something and later backs out and you wanted it so much.

well, here''s an update. after that incident, i told myself to not think about it anymore. it worked out well and just continued being BF/GF and dating, up until a month ago. my BF said that he was ready to get married. we should go ring shopping blah, blah, blah. I kind of laughed it off inside and I thought nothing of it cuz i didn''t want to get my hopes up again. so the weekend came and he again suggested ring browsing. so, i agreed and we went to visit some jewelers. we found a setting that we both liked, but did not find the center stone. a part of me was hoping that he did his own research and bought the center stone already. but nope that didn''t happen. i tried not to get too excited about the whole engagement idea, but i was too week. ever since that day of ring shopping, all i could think about was being engaged to the love of my life. it consumes 1/2 of my thoughts. i know i want to be with him and love him so muhc and just want to start our life together. is that too much to ask for? anyway, one of the jewelers called us earlier this week and said she had a stone for us to look at. so, we went to look at it this weekend. i REALLY liked it and he liked it too. it was perfect in size and price. although, no indication of him interested in buying it. anyway, we left and i couldn''t help but feel sad inside. i wanted to cry, but i held it together. last night, at home (we don''t live together) i cried myself to sleep because i was just soo sad that i am not getting a 2007 proposal. when my BF said he was ready, i said to him, i hope we can be engaged by the end of the year. his response was smart. he didn''t say no and he didn''t say yes. what he said was, ''if things continue the way they are (meaning good), you won''t be disappointed''. things have been good and he didn''t disagree, but the bottom line is, i will be disappointed

another thought came to mind and it made me so angry. why do guys have so much power. i look at the LIW list and wonder why we are dependent on the guys to mkae us happy? we''re agonizing over the fact that we want to be engaged. my BF wants to make me happy, but he''ll do everything else, but propose. *sigh* i just needed to vent and express my sadness. thanks for reading girls.

any girls out there whose thoughts have been consumed / obsessed with getting engaged? if so, how did you over come that? any remedies?

Happy New Year Girls!!! I am hoping everything you hope for will come true in 2008.

What makes you think that a proposal is not coming? He went to look at the stone with you, and you both liked it. He didn''t say NO. He didn''t say NOT NOW. He said "you won''t be dissappointed". So - - why are you disappointed? How do you know he hasn''t made an arrangement to buy the stone and have it set?

I''m not quite sure what you expected. Did you expect him to propose with the stone at the jewelers? Did you expect him to propose without a finished ring? You are causing your own unhappiness at this moment. Calm down, and see what happens in the next few weeks. Why on earth does your proposal have to come in 2007?

And this goes for all LIW -- for goodness sakes -- stop with the "woe is me" angst. Enough already. Anticipation does not equal anguish.

 

[bluebubbles]

i know, i know diamondseeker. that''s what i wanted too. i know the holidays are when most get togethers occur. with friends you haven''t seen in a long time. i got together with some college / high school / ex-coworkers this holiday and that was part of my mindset. i wanted to show off the ring and most importantly, the man i love, to them.

anyway, after posting my vent, i do feel better. thanks to all the girls on PS with their posting and replies. this forum really does offer a lot of emotional support.

 

[Cravin My Emerald cut]

Sorry to hear your holidays aren''t going as planned. I can sympathize. My bf brought the topic up as well....just over a month ago. We did go ring shopping this past weekend. However, he''s mentioned "the time to buy is in the spring after Valentine''s" and "this isn''t going to happen until late next year".....GRRRRR

Perhaps it''s because I''ve told him it better be a surprise (he''s horrible at surprises). It doesn''t help that 3 of my closest friends have all gotten engaged in the past 3 months (2 over Christmas).

Be patient....good things come to those who wait (or at least that''s what I try to keep telling myself

 

[allycat0303]

Well today is the last day of the year, and I really hope that there is a surprise in the works for you! You never know what sneaky boys can be planning.

 

[bluebubbles]

Date: 12/31/2007 1:04:35 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 12/31/2007 12:13:00 PM
Author:bluebubbles
this is the last day of 2007. i am so disappointed that i won''t be getting a 2007 proposal. i have so many feelings rummaging inside me right now. i am feeling angry, hurt, depressed, sad, stupid, like a fool and an idiot. i posted a few months back about being devastated and hurt that my BF suggested ring shopping and when i found a great deal online we had it shipped for viewing, his conclusion was the stone is a bit small and he wasn''t ready to propose yet. i had a lot of great support from you girls and said that he was at least honest about it. i know, but you just can''t help but feel devastated when someone suggests something and later backs out and you wanted it so much.

well, here''s an update. after that incident, i told myself to not think about it anymore. it worked out well and just continued being BF/GF and dating, up until a month ago. my BF said that he was ready to get married. we should go ring shopping blah, blah, blah. I kind of laughed it off inside and I thought nothing of it cuz i didn''t want to get my hopes up again. so the weekend came and he again suggested ring browsing. so, i agreed and we went to visit some jewelers. we found a setting that we both liked, but did not find the center stone. a part of me was hoping that he did his own research and bought the center stone already. but nope that didn''t happen. i tried not to get too excited about the whole engagement idea, but i was too week. ever since that day of ring shopping, all i could think about was being engaged to the love of my life. it consumes 1/2 of my thoughts. i know i want to be with him and love him so muhc and just want to start our life together. is that too much to ask for? anyway, one of the jewelers called us earlier this week and said she had a stone for us to look at. so, we went to look at it this weekend. i REALLY liked it and he liked it too. it was perfect in size and price. although, no indication of him interested in buying it. anyway, we left and i couldn''t help but feel sad inside. i wanted to cry, but i held it together. last night, at home (we don''t live together) i cried myself to sleep because i was just soo sad that i am not getting a 2007 proposal. when my BF said he was ready, i said to him, i hope we can be engaged by the end of the year. his response was smart. he didn''t say no and he didn''t say yes. what he said was, ''if things continue the way they are (meaning good), you won''t be disappointed''. things have been good and he didn''t disagree, but the bottom line is, i will be disappointed

another thought came to mind and it made me so angry. why do guys have so much power. i look at the LIW list and wonder why we are dependent on the guys to mkae us happy? we''re agonizing over the fact that we want to be engaged. my BF wants to make me happy, but he''ll do everything else, but propose. *sigh* i just needed to vent and express my sadness. thanks for reading girls.

any girls out there whose thoughts have been consumed / obsessed with getting engaged? if so, how did you over come that? any remedies?

Happy New Year Girls!!! I am hoping everything you hope for will come true in 2008.

What makes you think that a proposal is not coming? He went to look at the stone with you, and you both liked it. He didn''t say NO. He didn''t say NOT NOW. He said ''you won''t be dissappointed''. So - - why are you disappointed? How do you know he hasn''t made an arrangement to buy the stone and have it set?

I''m not quite sure what you expected. Did you expect him to propose with the stone at the jewelers? Did you expect him to propose without a finished ring? You are causing your own unhappiness at this moment. Calm down, and see what happens in the next few weeks. Why on earth does your proposal have to come in 2007?

And this goes for all LIW -- for goodness sakes -- stop with the ''woe is me'' angst. Enough already. Anticipation does not equal anguish.

Well, HollyS, to answer your questions: It''s not that I don''t think a proposal is coming, but I would have liked it sooner that''s all. The sooner it comes, the sooner the deal will be sealed. I guess even if he says he wants to propose, that is not a guarantee that he will. So, I guess it''s a little fear that he''ll back out. But, that''s just my own insecurity. Plus I''m in my 30''s, so age is a factor for me. Besides, when we''re together we act like a married couple and everyone around asks when they can attend our wedding. haha

He said "you won''t be disappointed" in the context of me not being disappointed of not having an end of the year proposal. So, I am disappointment because I won''t be having a year end proposal. What I expected was him saying we''ll take it. Either pay for it or put a deposit to secure it. And as long as he has it, I''ll rest assure that it''ll give him a push to start planning the proposal. The proposal doesn''t have to come in 2007, but I just wanted it too.

As for the LIW, I didn''t mean to speak for everyone, it was just a comment cuz I''m on that list.

 

[CrookedRock]

Date: 12/31/2007 1:04:35 PM
Author: HollyS

And this goes for all LIW -- for goodness sakes -- stop with the ''woe is me'' angst. Enough already. Anticipation does not equal anguish.

Holly as I agree that some of the LIW''s are quite impatient, espicially at 21 years old and only having dated for a year, not all of us are. I am not one of the LIW''s that post the dissapointments that I go through, but it doesn''t mean they don''t happen. Not all anticipation has to equal anguish I agree, but sometimes it does. And if some choose to vent it here, well... that is what this board is for...

On to 2008!

 

[HollyS]

You''re disappointed enough to "cry myself to sleep" just because the proposal wasn''t in 2007??

You cried yourself to sleep and you''re 30-something??

And, last I checked, 2007 is still here, and will be until midnight.

 

[MissErin]

Date: 12/31/2007 1:04:35 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 12/31/2007 12:13:00 PM
Author:bluebubbles
this is the last day of 2007. i am so disappointed that i won''t be getting a 2007 proposal. i have so many feelings rummaging inside me right now. i am feeling angry, hurt, depressed, sad, stupid, like a fool and an idiot. i posted a few months back about being devastated and hurt that my BF suggested ring shopping and when i found a great deal online we had it shipped for viewing, his conclusion was the stone is a bit small and he wasn''t ready to propose yet. i had a lot of great support from you girls and said that he was at least honest about it. i know, but you just can''t help but feel devastated when someone suggests something and later backs out and you wanted it so much.

well, here''s an update. after that incident, i told myself to not think about it anymore. it worked out well and just continued being BF/GF and dating, up until a month ago. my BF said that he was ready to get married. we should go ring shopping blah, blah, blah. I kind of laughed it off inside and I thought nothing of it cuz i didn''t want to get my hopes up again. so the weekend came and he again suggested ring browsing. so, i agreed and we went to visit some jewelers. we found a setting that we both liked, but did not find the center stone. a part of me was hoping that he did his own research and bought the center stone already. but nope that didn''t happen. i tried not to get too excited about the whole engagement idea, but i was too week. ever since that day of ring shopping, all i could think about was being engaged to the love of my life. it consumes 1/2 of my thoughts. i know i want to be with him and love him so muhc and just want to start our life together. is that too much to ask for? anyway, one of the jewelers called us earlier this week and said she had a stone for us to look at. so, we went to look at it this weekend. i REALLY liked it and he liked it too. it was perfect in size and price. although, no indication of him interested in buying it. anyway, we left and i couldn''t help but feel sad inside. i wanted to cry, but i held it together. last night, at home (we don''t live together) i cried myself to sleep because i was just soo sad that i am not getting a 2007 proposal. when my BF said he was ready, i said to him, i hope we can be engaged by the end of the year. his response was smart. he didn''t say no and he didn''t say yes. what he said was, ''if things continue the way they are (meaning good), you won''t be disappointed''. things have been good and he didn''t disagree, but the bottom line is, i will be disappointed

another thought came to mind and it made me so angry. why do guys have so much power. i look at the LIW list and wonder why we are dependent on the guys to mkae us happy? we''re agonizing over the fact that we want to be engaged. my BF wants to make me happy, but he''ll do everything else, but propose. *sigh* i just needed to vent and express my sadness. thanks for reading girls.

any girls out there whose thoughts have been consumed / obsessed with getting engaged? if so, how did you over come that? any remedies?

Happy New Year Girls!!! I am hoping everything you hope for will come true in 2008.

What makes you think that a proposal is not coming? He went to look at the stone with you, and you both liked it. He didn''t say NO. He didn''t say NOT NOW. He said ''you won''t be dissappointed''. So - - why are you disappointed? How do you know he hasn''t made an arrangement to buy the stone and have it set?

I''m not quite sure what you expected. Did you expect him to propose with the stone at the jewelers? Did you expect him to propose without a finished ring? You are causing your own unhappiness at this moment. Calm down, and see what happens in the next few weeks. Why on earth does your proposal have to come in 2007?

And this goes for all LIW -- for goodness sakes -- stop with the ''woe is me'' angst. Enough already. Anticipation does not equal anguish.

Ok... I kind of agree that the "woe is me" thing can get a little old BUT we all have our weak moments. I don''t believe all the LIWs are full of angst as previously suggested. We just all have our good and bad days. It''s important to realize that because we are so eager to marry the men of our dreams, we sometimes get ahead of ourselves. It''s not that we are trying to be dramatic, its just that we slip. Thats why we come here. We know there are other girls in our situation that can give us great advice and bring us up from a low point. We all are here for support. Support in good times and bad times.

 

[chocolatefudge]

HollyS, I just noticed that you aren''t on the LIW list. Are/ were you a LIW? If you are engaged, did you have to wait long? Did you never feel a tiny bit impatient about it happening?
I''m sure everyone at some point has come on here to rant. Can''t help feeling that you only came on to cause trouble.

 

[MissErin]

Bluebubbles - I just wanted to say that no matter what, I am here to listen if you need to vent or talk about being disappointed. It''s part of why the LIW board was formed. It gives us all a place to help each other when we need it.

I really hope for the best with you. I agree with others who say 2008 may be even better with the proposal because it''s the start of a new year and a new life with the man you love so deeply. And it sounds like he is really excited about making the moment PERFECT!!

Just know that he loves you will all his heart and wants you to feel like a goddess when he asks you to be his. The waiting is hard and can wear you down here and there, but in the end - a short time I bet - it will be all worth it. Just get through this. Cry if you need to. Vent if you need to. Do whatever you need to. Then wake up, and start fresh with a positive outlook.

Darling, as a fellow LIW just know that we all care abput you and know the general feeling. (((hugs))) And CHEERS to 2008!!

 

[chocolatefudge]

Well said MissErin

 

[CrookedRock]

Date: 12/31/2007 1:43:25 PM
Author: HollyS
You''re disappointed enough to ''cry myself to sleep'' just because the proposal wasn''t in 2007??

You cried yourself to sleep and you''re 30-something??

And, last I checked, 2007 is still here, and will be until midnight.

Holly... If this bothers you so much why are you reading it? Like I said... this is what the LIW forum is all about! I always thought if you had nothing nice to say, don''t say anything at all...

 

[chocolatefudge]

Hmmmmmm she seems to have disappeared......

 

[bluebubbles]

Thanks MissErin and others for the encouragement and support. Like I said before, I was devastated months before and I made myself stronger and said to not let my mind get carried away with this whole engagement thing. It was going great, but I had a slip and suffered one of those low moments. But, after coming here, I do feel better. Honestly. I had a weak moment because we did some ring shopping, I attentively took in what my BF said about being ready, it was my birthday this month, plus Christmas, plus the New Year.

HollyS, I don''t think it''s silly for women in their 30''s, 40''s, or 50''s to cry themselves to sleep. Perhaps you are an emotionally stronger women, I wish I was like that. But, I am not. I am lot more sensitive. I get super weepy when I watch romantic / sad movies. I can''t help it. I think it''s just my genetic make up, I''m a crier.

*sigh*

 

[MissErin]

Date: 12/31/2007 2:12:21 PM
Author: bluebubbles

I am lot more sensitive. I get super weepy when I watch romantic / sad movies. I can''t help it. I think it''s just my genetic make up, I''m a crier.

*sigh*

hehe I am the EXACT same way!! Even certain commercials can make me tear up!! hehe Silly emotional girls we are!! Oh and don''t even get me started on watching proposals on YouTube!! haha That''s where I really lose it - in a GOOD way. hehe

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I think there is a vast difference between women who are afraid a proposal is not going to happen and women who know a proposal will happen (often he arleady has a ring). In the former case, I''m all for women taking control back in their lives and leaving--no reason to sit around and wait for a man to decide if you are who he wants. In the latter case, though, I think the LIWs are just really eager to get to the next chapter of their lives and sometimes the wait is unbearable.

Blue, in your case I think you need to focus on the positives. Your boyfriend is ready, you''ve both chosen the setting, you''ve both chosen the stone, it''s just a matter of time. Whether it happens tonight or in early 2008 is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and I promise you that you''re going to look back on this time and wish you''d enjoyed the eager anticipation instead of crying yourself to sleep. When he proposes, the details just DO NOT matter--suddenly you don''t care about the ring or what day it is or even where you are because you''re just elated that he''s asked you to spend the rest of your life with him. It''s exciting that you guys are so close and should be celebrated! Why not put this year with the frustrations of not being engaged behind you because it sounds like 2008 will be a much better year!!

 

[bluebubbles]

lol. me too. my friend forwarded me a commercial clip from De Beers with this British (I think) Singer, Landan Pigg, singing a song. The song is "Coffee Shop". I search for the lyrics and it''s so touching. Here''s a clip of the lyrics and imagine the men you love so much and who love you back, singing or saying this to you....*sigh* makes my heart melt.... hehe

i think that possibly, maybe im falling for you
yes theres a chance that ive fallen quite hard over you.
ive seen the paths that your eyes wander down
i want to come to

i think that possibly, maybe im falling for you

no one understands me quite like you do
through all of the shadowy corners of me
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew
i never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
i love so much
all of the while i never knew

 

[MissErin]

I know EXACTLY what commercial this is!! hehe I love the song too - it actually reminds me of my time with Eric yesterday.

NewlyEngagedLady - I fully agree with you!! Staying positive is the key and know that this is part of the exciting times to come!! hehe I love this board!!

 

[MissErin]

Date: 12/31/2007 1:43:25 PM
Author: HollyS
You''re disappointed enough to ''cry myself to sleep'' just because the proposal wasn''t in 2007??

You cried yourself to sleep and you''re 30-something??

And, last I checked, 2007 is still here, and will be until midnight.

Holly - Now I understand why you don''t agree with BlueBubbles.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/first-of-pro-pics.72072/

You are a happily married woman with a lovely man who has made your dreams come true. It''s not that you are trying to be "mean" but more so that you are in a whole new spectrum of life. This would make it harder to understand the LIW forum. You have a good heart - just a little bit different of a view.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/31/2007 2:01:57 PM
Author: chocolatefudge
Hmmmmmm she seems to have disappeared......

I didn''t disappear. I said what needed to be said; to the person who needed to read it. If I hit a nerve in someone else, perhaps it was something they needed to read as well. The truth is not always kind; and the poster who is willing to point out the truth is not always mean-spirited. There is no hidden agenda; this is a forum . . . of opinions. When asking for opinions, we need to be sure we''re willing to receive all opinions. Even the ones we don''t like.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/31/2007 2:58:38 PM
Author: MissErin

Date: 12/31/2007 1:43:25 PM
Author: HollyS
You''re disappointed enough to ''cry myself to sleep'' just because the proposal wasn''t in 2007??

You cried yourself to sleep and you''re 30-something??

And, last I checked, 2007 is still here, and will be until midnight.

Holly - Now I understand why you don''t agree with BlueBubbles.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/first-of-pro-pics.72072/

You are a happily married woman with a lovely man who has made your dreams come true. It''s not that you are trying to be ''mean'' but more so that you are in a whole new spectrum of life. This would make it harder to understand the LIW forum. You have a good heart - just a little bit different of a view.

Yes, I married my lovely man. In 2007. We''ve been together, dating exclusively, since 1994. I think I know a thing or two about waiting. I believe I''m uniquely qualified, as a matter of fact, to be an expert on the subject!

 

[CrookedRock]

Holly... You truly just don't get it. This woman came here for comfort. Instead you poked fun at her and talked down to all the LIW's... As someone who obvi knows about waiting, I'm a little surprised...

Congrats to you on no longer having to wait for that special day. You and yours seem to be very happy... Hopefully we can all be so lucky some day!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 12/31/2007 4:01:05 PM
Author: CrookedRock
Holly... You truly just don''t get it. This woman came here for comfort. Instead you poked fun at her and talked down to all the LIW''s... As someone who obvi knows about waiting, I''m a little surprised...

Congrats to you on no longer having to wait for that special day. You and yours seem to be very happy... Hopefully we can all be so lucky some day!

I certainly do *get it*.

She doesn''t need comfort. She needs perspective. Her engagement appears to be very much on the horizon; and as NewEngland pointed out, she needs to be delighted at that prospect, rather than upsetting herself that it hasn''t happened on her self-imposed timetable.

I did not poke fun at this person; I attempted to appeal to her rational side by pointing out some rather silly behavior that isn''t helping her feel better about her situation.

And pointing out to all LIW that being angst ridden about "THE BIG MOMENT" is not a healthy attitude to adopt is not *talking down* to them. Anticipation should be a happy time; and unless you can realistically anticipate your engagement (meaning it could happen at anytime because that is where the relationship is heading), then you probably are not really a LIW. Someone whose BF is being ambivalent or resistant is clearly not an LIW; and yet, there are many such posts on this thread.

I do indeed *get it*.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

As one of this PSs longest tenure LIW members (I think I was #1 for about 6 months, but on the list for 2.5 years from the day I joined), I'd like to chime in here. Lord, do I remember these days. Having one or two bad days out of the 365 wonderful days a year, and needing a place to vent without taking it out on your BF is so incredibly cathartic, and I'm so happy this forum exists.

I know you have some element of disappointment right now, but trust me on this, push it away. You will enjoy life sooooo much more when you don't consume your days with "when, when, when?" I think in the male mind, the more you talk about an impending proposal, the more they believe you're "on to them", so the longer your proposal could take.

I think your best course of action is to just keep our chin up. Your BF loves you, is open to looking at diamonds with you, and hasn't said he's not ready to be engaged this time.

Besides, I would bet dollars to donuts that the stone you both liked is being set now, and you'll likely have a proposal by the end of January. Best of luck to you!