POLL: Have you ever cheated/been cheated on?

[SoonIHope]

Just wondering how many people have cheated on their SO's and/or been cheated on. I'm going to try to break it up into a few different categories, but every situation is unique so if you have anything to add, feel free! But please answer anonymously even if you don't want to talk about it.

ETA: by "SO" I clearly mean past or present, so don't think I'm only asking about the guy/girl you're with now!

 

[qtiekiki]

How come you didn't include being cheated on in the poll?? What constitutes a not seriously committed relationship?

I didn't vote because I had been cheated on by an ex and it's not one of the choice.. I had dated multiple guys at the same times, but there was nothing serious with any of them- just getting to know the guys, no kissing or anything physical. So that's not cheating, is it?

ETA: I was posting when you were adding more to the poll. Okay I voted.

 

[E B]

I can''t vote either, though I was in a sticky situation.

I met this boy who was long-distance dating his GF of several months. We hung out a couple of times, and he told me he wanted to move things further along. When I asked him about his GF, he told me they were on a break. We only dated for a month or so, but after he went back to his GF, I found out they HADN''T been on a break...he''d been telling her that he and I were just friends.

He was a real jerk. Good thing that only lasted for about 3 seconds.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:14:11 PM
Author: qtiekiki
How come you didn''t include being cheated on in the poll?? What constitutes a not seriously committed relationship?

I didn''t vote because I had been cheated on by an ex and it''s not one of the choice.. I had dated multiple guys at the same times, but there was nothing serious with any of them- just getting to know the guys, no kissing or anything physical. So that''s not cheating, is it?

ETA: I was posting when you were adding more to the poll. Okay I voted.

Hehehe, people always get upset that I give them such limited options when I do a poll and am not done adding answers yet!

Like the time I did a "What month are you getting married" poll and people thought I was only giving the options of January through March! You''re all a little too quick for me.

By "not seriously committed" I basically mean whether YOU at the time thought you were really committed. So it''s obviously very subjective, but I''m just thinking in terms of the amount of betrayal you felt at the time. So everyone just use your own discretion in deciding which one of those applies to you!

And I don''t think dating multiple people at a time counts as cheating unless you''re deliberately hiding it from someone who you know thinks you two are exclusive. And then whether or not it was cheating based on the type of interaction with the "dates" is of course ANOTHER subjective distinction you just have to make yourself!

 

[Caribou]

I've been cheated on. In fact, my EX got engaged while we were still together.

Oh well..I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better off. I have a great guy now.

Have I cheated? Hmmmmmmm well I wouldn't consider it cheating...we weren't committed and I only kissed the guy. Nothing more.

Oh my, I what stories I could tell. I briefly dated this guy whom I asked the first night we met 'do you have a girlfriend' No but I did break up with someone a couple months ago. 'Are you married' No 'Are you engaged' No. So I went out with him a couple times. The 3rd time we were suppose to go out, he stood me up (first time ever), I was pissed only because it's just rude..I didn't really care for the guy. He calls me really early the next morning

and tells me he's sorry but he did in fact have a girlfriend. Oh and I could hear her in the background, she made him call me. To add more to this f*d up story...he talked so badly about his 'ex-girlfriend' to me.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:19:40 PM
Author: EBree
I can''t vote either, though I was in a sticky situation.

I met this boy who was long-distance dating his GF of several months. We hung out a couple of times, and he told me he wanted to move things further along. When I asked him about his GF, he told me they were on a break. We only dated for a month or so, but after he went back to his GF, I found out they HADN''T been on a break...he''d been telling her that he and I were just friends.

He was a real jerk. Good thing that only lasted for about 3 seconds.

Ooooooh, I totally should have put a "I didn''t cheat nor did my SO cheat on me, but my SO was cheating on someone else in order to date me" option! I skipped that whole genre....

Also: yuck, EBree, sorry! and you too qtiekiki!

 

[qtiekiki]

hahaha I guess I was just too eager to answer. Yeah I was so heartbroken and torn apart after that ex. I lost a lot of weight and was so unhealthy that my mom and friends were so worried. They kept taking me out to cheer me up. I didn't date for a little over half a year after that.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:21:45 PM
Author: Caribou
I''ve been cheated on. In fact, my EX got engaged while we were still together.

WOW!!!

I''d remembered that your ex cheated on you, but I don''t think I''d heard that before!!! So glad you found someone a little (well, a LOT more deserving of your attention!

 

[jldunn]

Can you answer more than once? no "I''ve upgraded and a seriously committed SO has cheated"?

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:24:57 PM
Author: albicocca

Date: 3/9/2006 4:21:45 PM
Author: Caribou
I''ve been cheated on. In fact, my EX got engaged while we were still together.

WOW!!!

I''d remembered that your ex cheated on you, but I don''t think I''d heard that before!!! So glad you found someone a little (well, a LOT more deserving of your attention!

Yup, I''m so better off.

 

[E B]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:23:20 PM
Author: albicocca


Ooooooh, I totally should have put a ''I didn''t cheat nor did my SO cheat on me, but my SO was cheating on someone else in order to date me'' option! I skipped that whole genre....

Also: yuck, EBree, sorry! and you too qtiekiki!

It''s okay...it could have been much worse. I all honesty, I think it''s good to have an experience like this. Not only does it wake you up as to what happens in the real world (and not in Disney handsome prince fantasies), it makes it all the better when you find a real good guy. Your own handsome prince!

 

[jldunn]

Almost forgot....

"SO cheated, but it doesn''t count because it was in Canada/Mexico, and what happens in Canada/Mexico stays in Canada/Mexico"

 

[E B]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:21:45 PM
Author: Caribou
I''ve been cheated on. In fact, my EX got engaged while we were still together.

Oh well..I''m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better off. I have a great guy now.

Oh, Caribou, it would have taken all my strength not to do something horrible to him. How can people be so cruel?

Two words: His loss.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:28:18 PM
Author: jldunn
Almost forgot....

''SO cheated, but it doesn''t count because it was in Canada/Mexico, and what happens in Canada/Mexico stays in Canada/Mexico''

LOL!

Isn''t there a 300 mile rule too?? If you are 300 miles from your SO it''s not cheating?

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:26:59 PM
Author: jldunn
Can you answer more than once? no ''I''ve upgraded and a seriously committed SO has cheated''?

Jeremy, the PS poll function won''t let you answer more than once, which is why I asked what''s the WORST that has happened. I would like to hear both directions, but the poll won''t let me!

For anyone else - if you and your past SO''s have committed the same "level" of cheating according to my poll answers, I guess just say which one was worse in terms of the actual relationships at the time (ie. He cheated on me with 2 different girls but I only cheated with one guy, or based on the level of deception/committment involved)

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:29:17 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 3/9/2006 4:21:45 PM
Author: Caribou
I''ve been cheated on. In fact, my EX got engaged while we were still together.

Oh well..I''m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better off. I have a great guy now.

Oh, Caribou, it would have taken all my strength not to do something horrible to him. How can people be so cruel?

Two words: His loss.

I threw a drink in his face....does that count?

I''m pretty mild-mannered and we were in public.....it was a full cup of vodka/tonic. Damn, I wasted a perfectly good drink on him.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:32:35 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 3/9/2006 4:29:17 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 3/9/2006 4:21:45 PM
Author: Caribou

I''ve been cheated on. In fact, my EX got engaged while we were still together.

Oh well..I''m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better off. I have a great guy now.

Oh, Caribou, it would have taken all my strength not to do something horrible to him. How can people be so cruel?

Two words: His loss.

I threw a drink in his face....does that count?

I''m pretty mild-mannered and we were in public.....it was a full cup of vodka/tonic. Damn, I wasted a perfectly good drink on him.

Ooooh, I''ve always wanted to do that! Hehe, maybe I''ll try it with water though.

 

[Kaleigh]

I have never cheated. My SO has never cheated on me. But he did cheat with 2 girls at the same time ages ago. They never knew about each other. This was when he was a teenager.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:34:19 PM
Author: albicocca

Ooooh, I''ve always wanted to do that! Hehe, maybe I''ll try it with water though.

I really wanted to slap him in the face but I didn''t want to miss. It was fun...I just wish it was his drink I threw in his face. His fiance...whom knew about me but thought we were ''just friends''....watched the whole thing take place. So I confronted her. She stayed with the a*hole and I''m pretty sure they married! Now that a marriage made to last!

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:37:35 PM
Author: Caribou
I really wanted to slap him in the face but I didn''t want to miss. It was fun...I just wish it was his drink I threw in his face. His fiance...whom knew about me but thought we were ''just friends''....watched the whole thing take place. So I confronted her. She stayed with the a*hole and I''m pretty sure they married! Now that a marriage made to last!

WOW, he told you about her WHILE SHE WAS THERE?? Or did you just stumble across them? I can''t imagine how horrible that must have been!!

But at least you get to take solace in knowing your soon-to-be marriage is going to be on a LOT more solid ground than theirs!!!

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:30:03 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 3/9/2006 4:28:18 PM
Author: jldunn
Almost forgot....

''SO cheated, but it doesn''t count because it was in Canada/Mexico, and what happens in Canada/Mexico stays in Canada/Mexico''

LOL!

Isn''t there a 300 mile rule too?? If you are 300 miles from your SO it''s not cheating?

Never cheated, never been cheated on.

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:37:35 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 3/9/2006 4:34:19 PM
Author: albicocca

Ooooh, I've always wanted to do that! Hehe, maybe I'll try it with water though.

I really wanted to slap him in the face but I didn't want to miss. It was fun...I just wish it was his drink I threw in his face. His fiance...whom knew about me but thought we were 'just friends'....watched the whole thing take place. So I confronted her. She stayed with the a*hole and I'm pretty sure they married! Now that a marriage made to last!

I always loved that line from SATC where Richard is trying to get back with Samantha after cheating on her. She finally meets him for a drink, grabs her martini, throws it in his face, and says, "Dirty martini, dirty bastard" and walks out. Man, I love that show.

 

[Cailet]

I once had a boyfriend - and I use that term in the LOOSEST sense of the word - who broke up with me so he could mess around with my sluttly ex-friend. They were actually messing around behind my back and then she decided that she felt too guilty to keep doing it "behind my back". Of course I didn''t know that at the time - and the ex-friend actually "consoled" me that me and the guy did not work out. Once I found out - oooo she tried to apologize for weeks - I never really spoke to her again.

Truth told I didn''t even really LIKE the guy - he was a rebound relationship and we both knew it. We were just having fun and then we stopped seeing each other. I was upset for about a day. But for someone claiming to be my friend to go and mess around with him while I was seeing him - that doesn''t equal friend in my book.

I found out a couple of years later that he eventually gave her an STD and stole some of her money to buy pot. The evil girl inside me chuckled a bit at that news. Karma''s a b!tch.

 

[princessv]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:37:35 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 3/9/2006 4:34:19 PM
Author: albicocca

Ooooh, I''ve always wanted to do that! Hehe, maybe I''ll try it with water though.

I really wanted to slap him in the face but I didn''t want to miss. It was fun...I just wish it was his drink I threw in his face. His fiance...whom knew about me but thought we were ''just friends''....watched the whole thing take place. So I confronted her. She stayed with the a*hole and I''m pretty sure they married! Now that a marriage made to last!

Ohh Caribou thats just awful and I''m so glad you are with someone more deserving now!! I wish I could have thrown a drink in my ex''s face...well I did get to slap him in the face once though.

My ex was horrible when it came to cheating. I only know of once for sure that he cheated and it was with a much older woman she was 36 (still living with her husband that she was supposed to be seperated from

) with two kids and get this one of them was only 3 years younger than me! I think he was 22. Anyway, he left his cell with me once as he was coming right back and this woman called twice so on the third time I picked up and told me he''d been cheating and get this...with specific nasty details

The most horrible part was that he would use sites like HotorNot

to pick up women. When I caught on, he''d make up new email accounts so he could keep using those sites. I highly suspect that there were others. Stupid, naive me stayed with him for 2 months after and of course he swore up and down he never did that.

I think for me, the funny part (ooh I''m so mean) after I broke up with him was that he got together with a 17 year old high school girl from HotorNot and they got engaged less than 6 months after I broke up with him..yes he made it a point to tell me. I was hurt at the time..but in retrospect I laugh because I knew that was such a ''rebound'' type relationship. Come to think of it I heard from one of my friends, they''re broken up now...and that girl (I guess 20 now) dumped him.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:41:25 PM
Author: albicocca

WOW, he told you about her WHILE SHE WAS THERE?? Or did you just stumble across them? I can't imagine how horrible that must have been!!

But at least you get to take solace in knowing your soon-to-be marriage is going to be on a LOT more solid ground than theirs!!!

Basically, we ran into each other at a bar, I saw him, he acted really cold towards me so I approached him. As I'm walking back, I see this woman standing watching us, I approach her asked her who she was and she told me (as well as showed me the ring). So I then told her who I was...and she said 'I had a feeling' WHAT?!?!?!?! He knew I was going to be where I was and told her that they might run into someone but didn't give further detail about who. Anywho, it was very traumic to me at the time.....took a long time to get past the hurt (not him, I was over him the day it happened) now I'm totally over it, my friends still loathe him, I could really care less about him, if he's happy great..I really don't care either way.

I learned alot through all of it, I learned to become stronger to stand up for myself, I learned what great friends I had, and 4 months later my MOH introduced me to my FI and through him I learned to trust again.

The only thing that grinds me is that he still owes me $700.

But not seeing him is worth not having that money.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:48:24 PM
Author: Cailet
I found out a couple of years later that he eventually gave her an STD and stole some of her money to buy pot. The evil girl inside me chuckled a bit at that news. Karma''s a b!tch.

Mwahaha, that is sooooo satisfying!!!

 

[Blenheim]

I''ve heard both area code and zip code sited as rules.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 3/9/2006 4:51:02 PM
Author: Caribou
Basically, we ran into each other at a bar, I saw him, he acted really cold towards me so I approached him. As I''m walking back, I see this woman standing watching us, I approach her asked her who she was and she told me (as well as showed me the ring). So I then told her who I was...and she said ''I had a feeling'' WHAT?!?!?!?! He knew I was going to be where I was and told her that they might run into someone but didn''t give further detail about who.

WOW that is some nerve!!!!

He really must be pathological to KNOW you might show up at the same place as his fiancee and not even be worried about it??? Sooooooooo glad he''s out of your life now!!!

 

[Blenheim]

Sorry -- that was in response to the 300 mile rule, and I forgot to say that.

 

[AmberWaves]

Well, does it count if you''re dating someone who said you were his "soulmate" and after he had loved you for years you decided to give him a chance, so you spent all your time with him and were going to marry him, but then- wow this is long winded- you decide to sleep with him and once you do, he goes off to war in IRAQ and then you''re going to wait for him because he''s your lobster and then he emails you and says he met someone else?