Posters, I can''t believe I even have to say this.

[iheartscience]

Date: 2/22/2008 10:46:02 PM
Author: diamondfan
I agree!

There is so much great information here, and I always appreciate that people see a thread and take time to help out a fellow PS''er.

But (and this is my opinion for what it is worth) I have noticed there are people here (more like one person) who drains people for information constantly and yet, I have noticed, I do not see this same poster really ever add anything positive to similar threads or any threads, for that matter. Or thank people for their help...it is like, down the rabbit hole with more and more going out to help. I would think this person is sort of a taker in life too. Now, the unfortunate effect of it is I avoid this poster''s threads because I feel it is a waste of time.

I totally agree with this, diamondfan!

And I''m with you Ellen-those two little words go a long way! (I must admit that I, like Gypsy, am also wracking my brain to make sure I''ve said thank you to everyone who''s helped me on my threads...I think I have...I hope!)

I will admit that sometimes I do respond to someone''s thread and then forget to check back...especially if I''m tired or if I''m on really late at night when I posted! So hopefully I haven''t ignored anyone...and if I did, here are two more important little words: I''m sorry!

 

[Venice]

Thank you, Ellen, for this post. It needed to be said. There is a shortage in the manners department almost everywhere, I''ve noticed. It''s very sad...

 

[diamondfan]

Thing2 (love the Seuss reference, I knew it immediately!), I think in general you get the gist of someone. I know sometimes I am tired or have not been on line in a bit, but I try and hope that I notice things and make mention of it. No one can be totally spot on all the time, but believe me, I think it comes across when someone is heartfelt and sincere. I just got to the point of fatigue in this case. I was so over the whole thing, this constant bouncing around and demanding information and being so needy yet never reciprocating. To that end, I just sort of skip those threads now, feeling better that I am am avoiding the brain drain. Though this is on line and not life, I think true colors emerge. I am who I am. If you met me in life, this is it (I think Kaleigh would concur!)...and I try to be equitable in things. Sure, I might need extra help from time to time, but I hope when need be, that I have given as well. I feel I have come to know so much about so many of you, and believe that you would just the same in real life, still hoping for another Philly PS get together with some of the other local gals and guys!!

 

[Sparkles22]

Date: 2/22/2008 10:16:09 PM
Author: Gypsy
I hope I say thank you for all the help I received. I try to remember to. But if I haven''t at times, then I''ll say it now. THANK YOU!!!

Same here! I really REALLY appreciate all of you PSers!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!

 

[Cathers]

I would like to add my two cents as well. Without PS, my current e-ring would have been put away up on the shelf forever. I was quite upset with the ''solution'' that I recieved from Birks, the original manufacturer of my ring and had come here to seek a second opinion. I got many great responses, and my ring ended up being repaired and made even more beautiful by another poster on here known as The Doctor: David Keeling.

On the flip side of that, because I don''t have a huge wealth of knowledge about diamonds(but likely more than the sales associates at the mall stores here in town)I generally don''t offer technical advice, as I feel I am not qualified at all. I find myself mostly posting and mooning over pieces in SMTR threads. I have found that quite often, when I add my two cents to a thread that I don''t get a response from the OP, or anyone else either, so yes, it is frustrating and I have often wondered if it was because I was relatively new here myself? I was even thinking of starting a thread called "are my responses invisible?" because of the lack of acknowlegement that I recieve. I find it really ironic that you started this thread, and am very happy you have. This is one site that I check many many times during the day and am quite attached to. I was getting a bit discouraged, but now I see that I am not the only one.

Thanks for bringing this up.

 

[hairgirl95]

Well said! I am not the best diamond educated person, so I don''t always feel qualified to answer some peoples questions on here, but I always try to give a props and thank you and way to go to make up for my lack of giving good information. I would hate to lead anyone astray with crappy advice!!!

Anywho, I think some people just get caught up in their own little world and forget that internet communication should be given the same courtesy as person to person convo. If you wouldn''t say it in person, don''t post it here. And actions fall into that category too. So props to you Ellen for speaking up--hopefully its a good reminder to all of us!! I for one appreciate ALL OF YOU. You have all given me a wealth of knowledge about the diamond buying and selection process. I only hope I can learn more so I can be a more informative post "answerer" when some other poster comes here in the same situation I was a few months ago--clueless and lacking information about all things sparkly! Sorry to rant--just wanted to give my support.

 

[AmberWaves]

I have been here for 2.5 years or so, and I sincerely hope I''ve never been an ungrateful Gus! I think my issue is, well, I''m not a frequent poster, but I am an avid "drooler", and I seem to think that I''m not nearly knowledgeable enough to help people on here.

I was raised to be polite, though, and always thank people. Unfortunately, I seem to miss posts that I''ve responded to, or had a comment made in my direction. That''s totally my fault for not paying attention.

Still: Thank you everyone for all your help, advice, comments, and just the support. I think I need to overcome the feeling of "regulars only". I blame my parents. Yeah, that''s it.

 

[Cathers]

Date: 2/23/2008 12:50:14 AM
Author: AmberWaves
I have been here for 2.5 years or so, and I sincerely hope I''ve never been an ungrateful Gus! I think my issue is, well, I''m not a frequent poster, but I am an avid ''drooler'', and I seem to think that I''m not nearly knowledgeable enough to help people on here.

I was raised to be polite, though, and always thank people. Unfortunately, I seem to miss posts that I''ve responded to, or had a comment made in my direction. That''s totally my fault for not paying attention.

Still: Thank you everyone for all your help, advice, comments, and just the support. I think I need to overcome the feeling of ''regulars only''. I blame my parents. Yeah, that''s it.

excellent post. Pretty much sums up what I was trying to type. "spit it out girl" as my Nan used to say.

 

[hairgirl95]

Not to hijack here Amber but I love your avatar! I have two brown and tan dachshunds and I always go "awwwwww" everytime I see your avatar. Just sharing some weanie doggie love!

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks, you two! Cathers, I wish my computer was able to write your name. Is it sad to say I wish my computer had those cool little letters?

Hairgirl, thanks! He was about 8 weeks old in that picture, and it may just be my favorite picture of him ever (btw, his name is Woofie!)! Dachshunds are fantastic, right?

 

[Cathers]

Date: 2/23/2008 12:58:08 AM
Author: AmberWaves
Thanks, you two! Cathers, I wish my computer was able to write your name. Is it sad to say I wish my computer had those cool little letters?

Hairgirl, thanks! He was about 8 weeks old in that picture, and it may just be my favorite picture of him ever (btw, his name is Woofie!)! Dachshunds are fantastic, right?

go to start then run and a little box with pop up and type charmap then ok and pick the letters /symbols that you like, and thank you btw!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/22/2008 10:40:52 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
oh, Gypsy! I *promise* I wasn''t referring to you! You are always thoughtful.

Whew! Thank you for the compliment Tacori, I can honestly return it, in spades. You are always wonderful!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/23/2008 12:25:25 AM
Author: diamondfan
Thing2 (love the Seuss reference, I knew it immediately!), I think in general you get the gist of someone. I know sometimes I am tired or have not been on line in a bit, but I try and hope that I notice things and make mention of it. No one can be totally spot on all the time, but believe me, I think it comes across when someone is heartfelt and sincere. I just got to the point of fatigue in this case. I was so over the whole thing, this constant bouncing around and demanding information and being so needy yet never reciprocating. To that end, I just sort of skip those threads now, feeling better that I am am avoiding the brain drain. Though this is on line and not life, I think true colors emerge. I am who I am. If you met me in life, this is it (I think Kaleigh would concur!)...and I try to be equitable in things. Sure, I might need extra help from time to time, but I hope when need be, that I have given as well. I feel I have come to know so much about so many of you, and believe that you would just the same in real life, still hoping for another Philly PS get together with some of the other local gals and guys!!

Yup I concur!! I feel like that movie where Leonardo DiCaprio is playing all the roles, Doctor, Pilot etc... Let's just say I have seen those threads, and ignore them. Not worth my time. There are so many sincere people that need help, that's what I choose to focus on. It's all what works for you. Of course it's always nice if you can take that and pass it foward. Perfect world and all..

 

[hairgirl95]

Amber--Oh I love that name Woofie!! What a little ANGEL!! Yes, dachshunds are the greatest! I had a black and tan one growing up, and now these two spoiled little fur babies. They are my fave breed!

 

[AmberWaves]

I just wanted to say that I think a lot of the posters in this thread are just cherished on PS for your wisdom in things diamond and life, and that's for a reason. I tend to follow your posts because it's nice to see (read?) someone who is genuinely honest and helpful, and it's comforting to me. I'm not trying to be lovey-dovey, or overly sappy, but it's nice to see there is a place to go where the snark isn't cruel. That was super-helpful during my wedding planning, and it's nice to think that it'll be that way when we start thinking family. Although PS probably wasn't intended to become a forum for diamonds and everything else, it's nice to have it.

ETA: Apologies for the threadjack, but hairgirl, thanks! Dachshunds are quite the clowns, aren't they?

 

[Jenn5504]

I couldn''t agree more...

 

[musey]

Threads like this always make me paranoid that I fall into the "bad PSer" pile

eep!

I hope I express my gratitude sufficiently, because I am indeed grateful for all the help/advice that I am so lucky to receive here...

 

[EricaR]

Date: 2/23/2008 1:40:01 AM
Author: musey
Threads like this always make me paranoid that I fall into the ''bad PSer'' pile

eep!


I hope I express my gratitude sufficiently, because I am indeed grateful for all the help/advice that I am so lucky to receive here...

Ditto that exactly! I''ve seen that quite a few people here will respond to every single person with an individual thank you. I generally don''t do that, but I *think* I have thanked everyone with a big group THANKS! I know I am so grateful to this community - I have no idea what sort of ring I''d be wearing on my finger without the wonderful posters here.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/23/2008 1:40:01 AM
Author: musey
Threads like this always make me paranoid that I fall into the ''bad PSer'' pile

eep! I hope I express my gratitude sufficiently, because I am indeed grateful...

Nope, you are a great PS''er.

I think Ellen was talking about people who in general ask questions and don''t acknowledge the responses. Or those that post their rings, get lots of compliments but never come back to say thank you.

Ellen can correct me if I am wrong, won''t be the first time I am wrong, hehe.

 

[Imdanny]

Thank you, Ellen.

 

[diamondfan]

Amber, quality over quantity!!! (though I am hopefully in both categories). Many people lurk more than post but when they do, boy they contribute so much.

I am also not a diamond expert in terms of stats. And I am always clear to state that. But I can say, looks great, or congrats. Very easy to do.

Cather6 (do not know how to type that)...you are valued! I am always intrigued by your screen name. And is that a curling thingy in your avatar? Sorry, but I do not know the technical term for it, but it looks like one. (I always thought it looked like a teapot on steroids!)

Musey, I am bemused that you would worry! You are always helpful and generous of spirit! So put your musings aside and do not fret!

I came here to look for upgrade settings over two years ago. And I have not left. So that should speak volumes about the caliber of the people on this site!

 

[Po10472]

Like many on here, I''m more of a lurker and an ad-hoc poster mainly because I lack the necessary expertise to comment however I do love the site and visit lots throughout the day, its part of my routine and I am a creature of habit. That being said, I think the fact that this isn''t just your ordinary forum, people have a personal interest in what they are contributing and feel passionate about this topic, therefore, not being thanked for any comments or help is seen as a rejection. When we post a threat we want everyone to respond and when they do you feel good about yourself and listened to and conversely, like ''norman nae mates'' when you get no replies. So, in essence, its about inclusion and recognition and respect for your fellow PSer''s and this is what makes PS. We have our own PS culture and when things start to shift we all feel it.

So Ellen, thanks for this thread, its made us all stop and think about our behaviour and whether or not we are being respectful to our community and for one, it has made me realise that I need to acknowledge the identity of this site and continue to treat it and the people in it with the respect they deserve to ensure its continued success.

 

[door knob solitaire]

thank you

 

[surfgirl]

ellen, I hear you...I try to say thanks when I post a thread but I''ve probably forgotten a person or two here and there and I hope they''re not offended...But I do think it''s odd when people come to RT especially, and they''re given SO much help from you people of the RBs who are really the most called upon helpers, and then the person leaves the thread hanging, or they never come back to say what they got or whatever. There was one "he who shall not be named" that caused such a ruckus last year, and after the scores of pages of various threads dedicated to him, never bothered to return and say how it all turned out. It''s quite rude. People take time out of their real lives to help others here and it often is taken without any sense of gratitude. And diamondfan, I''m not sure we''re thinking of the same member but I know what you mean.

ellen, I should say that on my ering thread, I know for a fact that I haven''t thanked each and every person who responded individually - I personally usually give a "thanks to all" or a "thanks ladies", but that''s just how I roll...it''s not meant to be exclusive of anyone...

I know what would make you feel better! Why dont you take out your OEC and play dress up with it? That should put a smile on your face missy!

 

[diamondfan]

Surfgirl, penny for your thoughts! I would think we could very well be. I was so involved in the beginning, sure, I took things with a grain of salt too, but I tried to be of help. I finally got overwhelmed. And I love PS a lot, I truly do, but I also can tell someone who is very needy, in life as well as here. And it truthfully makes me a bit sad. Would this person even really understand that the nature of all the drama might have served to turn people off? People who were amazing and helpful and knowledgeable? Probably not. Wish sometimes people could see how they appear and maybe get some real help. My only solution was just say no...so I do not post on those threads...truth be told, it is okay. We have choices as to how we spend our time, even on PS. I will go to threads about things I long ago had a need to worry about, just so I can toss out something that might hit the target. Not offended if my advice is not taken or dismissed, no biggie. But I think, as an old gal of 42 with a bit under my belt (and muffin topping over my low jeans) that I can add SOMETHING. If not, I can take it! I still come back again and again...heck, I even love a lively little debate, it is refreshing as long as feelings and beliefs are respected. That is what makes the world go around, we are all coming to the table with different things. But courtesies, manners, niceties, I hope we are never in a world without those!

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 2/23/2008 3:13:21 AM
Author: SanDiegoLady
I hope I always say thank you when someone has offered something my way....... If I see it, I certainly acknowledge it.. its simple courtesy. I''d hate to think I hadn''t..

SDL, now you are just being silly! You are one of the true gems here. Anxiously awaiting your new avatar, can you give us a heads up on the time line?

 

[katebar]

Ellen spot on as usual

. (forgive me i just like using my new acquired skill

.)
But having said that I hope i haven''t overlooked anyone that has helped me!. It''s just that these threads move so darn quickly you know,
Anyhoo you rock Ellen

 

[dani13]

I do agree with you Ellen (and hoping I am not on the bad PS girl list-

). I really appreciate everyone here and value all of you so much!!!

 

[Maisie]

Date: 2/22/2008 10:46:02 PM
Author: diamondfan
I agree!

There is so much great information here, and I always appreciate that people see a thread and take time to help out a fellow PS''er.

But (and this is my opinion for what it is worth) I have noticed there are people here (more like one person) who drains people for information constantly and yet, I have noticed, I do not see this same poster really ever add anything positive to similar threads or any threads, for that matter. Or thank people for their help...it is like, down the rabbit hole with more and more going out to help. I would think this person is sort of a taker in life too. Now, the unfortunate effect of it is I avoid this poster''s threads because I feel it is a waste of time.

I have gone on threads (I hit ''posted today'' so I see them, I tend not to look at specific categories) and I have tried to help out on engaged threads or career threads or pregnancy threads, whether or not those topics have current relevance, I do try to chime in if I think I can give anything useful. I do not presume all my comments or advice hit home at all, but I certainly offer it up with the best of intentions. And while I do not need anyone gushing over it, I am pleased when I am noticed for having helped or tried to help. It just seems like a little thing you can do to have a nice two way street of helping, being helped, and acknowledging it. This is a place I tend to come to have the nice interactions, a healthy debate or spirited disagreement on views is even great when there is the respect to agree to disagree. But I do notice the support when given and I really do value it. No one here has to take the time to respond but mostly all of those who do are all trying to contribute in a positive way.

I am really hoping that someone (probably Ellen!) will come along and bop me on the head and tell me not to be stupid.... but recently I have been throwing a lot of ideas around with regards to my long term setting choices. I am really hoping that I am not the one you are referring to DF. I do try to say thank you when people help me. I do have PMS so that might be why I am feeling a little bit vulnerable now.

My biggest worry on here is the weight loss thread. There are so many people posting there and they always manage to include everyone when they reply. I feel worried that I won''t be able to remember to include everyone, so I just post little messages and hope nobody is offended. I think my brain cells have gone missing somewhere!

 

[steph72276]

Date: 2/23/2008 6:04:26 AM
Author: Maisie

Date: 2/22/2008 10:46:02 PM

Author: diamondfan

I agree!


There is so much great information here, and I always appreciate that people see a thread and take time to help out a fellow PS''er.


But (and this is my opinion for what it is worth) I have noticed there are people here (more like one person) who drains people for information constantly and yet, I have noticed, I do not see this same poster really ever add anything positive to similar threads or any threads, for that matter. Or thank people for their help...it is like, down the rabbit hole with more and more going out to help. I would think this person is sort of a taker in life too. Now, the unfortunate effect of it is I avoid this poster''s threads because I feel it is a waste of time.


I have gone on threads (I hit ''posted today'' so I see them, I tend not to look at specific categories) and I have tried to help out on engaged threads or career threads or pregnancy threads, whether or not those topics have current relevance, I do try to chime in if I think I can give anything useful. I do not presume all my comments or advice hit home at all, but I certainly offer it up with the best of intentions. And while I do not need anyone gushing over it, I am pleased when I am noticed for having helped or tried to help. It just seems like a little thing you can do to have a nice two way street of helping, being helped, and acknowledging it. This is a place I tend to come to have the nice interactions, a healthy debate or spirited disagreement on views is even great when there is the respect to agree to disagree. But I do notice the support when given and I really do value it. No one here has to take the time to respond but mostly all of those who do are all trying to contribute in a positive way.

I am really hoping that someone (probably Ellen!) will come along and bop me on the head and tell me not to be stupid.... but recently I have been throwing a lot of ideas around with regards to my long term setting choices. I am really hoping that I am not the one you are referring to DF. I do try to say thank you when people help me. I do have PMS so that might be why I am feeling a little bit vulnerable now.

My biggest worry on here is the weight loss thread. There are so many people posting there and they always manage to include everyone when they reply. I feel worried that I won''t be able to remember to include everyone, so I just post little messages and hope nobody is offended. I think my brain cells have gone missing somewhere!

Maisie, we are so glad you are on the weight loss thread....I too have been really busy lately with moving to a new house next week and haven''t been able to personally reply to everyone all the time. Don''t worry about that at all!

Hopefully I have said thank you to everyone who has helped me! I always try to, but sometimes threads get lost and I don''t see a post until it gets bumped up. But here is a big thank you to everyone for great advice!