PS Mommies Thread!

[gailrmv]

Ellaila,

Lurker piping in here... at my work, and also at my previous company, there was an option where you have your daycare expenses taken out of your paycheck before taxes, similar to a health savings account. Maybe this will be an option for jobs you could get, as I think it is a pretty common benefit. I was speaking with one of my friends about this recently, because she was deciding whether it was worth it financially to continue working now that she has 2 kids. She decided that it was, because even though she didn't take home a lot of money after the daycare expense, she was still getting health insurance for herself and the kids cheaper than through her husband's plan, good retirement benefits, and keeping her skills up to date (because in her field, it is very hard to get back in after you have been out for a while, as things change fast.)

An acquaintance of mine started watching another child at home for pay so that she could continue being a SAHM. Since you already have two though, not sure if that would be too many kids at home.

Just wanted to pipe in in case any of that is helpful!

 

[TravelingGal]

I tell ya, this is the thread to start the day. Thanks ladies. I took a look yesterday before the funeral and it helped a lot.

Alj, thanks for the camera tips! I have changed the ISO to high, but it''s so grainy. I''ll try the other tips you posted, which are new to me.

Jas, I hear ya about not being able to stay in a bad mood. Amelia is such a happy baby in the morning, that it is fun to get up and just hang out with her while she just kicks back in her crib and talks. Today I got out of bed to make her bottle and thought TGuy would sleep in, but he snuck into her room to get the first smiles and coos! Sneaky bugger...

Ella, that is tough...vent away my dear. It seems to me though that it makes more sense for you to stay home? I hate the thought of being away from my one baby, so I can only imagine how tough it is for you. And I think since most of us (if not all of us) on this thread has stayed home for the first few months with their babies, we all know how things change day to day in this stage and how cool it is to watch them grow. I really hope your DH changes his mind and you both can figure out a way to do this.

MsF, good luck when you start your new job...sounds great!

Burk, ya got pool pics? Hehehe. Can you tell I''m the pic ho lately? I will take more of Amelia soon, I promise!

OK, so Amelia''s 3 months on Tuesday. When did you all switch from slow flow/level 1 to level 2 nipples?

 

[lili]

TGal
I''m sure Amelia is just saving her laugh for when mommy makes a complete fool of herself.
I know J only let out a laugh when DH and I act like a complete idiot

Hehe, that is too cute about TGuy sneaking in to Amelia''s room to get some of Amelia''s first smiles and coos.
Yeah, those are the best, aren''t they? They just pretty much make your day.
I''d completely forget that I needed just some more hours of sleep when I see those smiles

Re: nipple upgrade.
I think you can probably go up in one level now.
If it will help, my milk flow is definitely coming out alot faster than when she first nurses.
It literally shoots out. So if J is okay with the flow (though there are times when I''m engorged, it does get a little too fast for her),
I''m sure level 2 would be okay with Amelia.

Wow, 3 months already?
Where has all the time gone?
Our babies are growing too fast...they are no longer newborns

Can''t wait to see pix of Amelia.

 

[lili]

Oooo....lots of cute baby smiles!!
All so cute and sweet.
I'm getting cavities just looking at them.

Bobo
Little B still got that funky hair huh?
Same here with J.

Tacori
Love T's crinkled nose smile.
Too cute!

Ella
lil MsK and bigG are such happy babies.
You can see the smiles even in their eyes.

msb
loving those curls on your little prince!
and his smile with his little pearlies.

Curly
Hehe, love Lily's little pigtails.
She's soo cute as always.
Her infatuation with the belly button is so sweet.

MsF
Ian looks like he's having a ball on the swing.
I've never seen a tandem swing like that before.
Is that his little gf in the swing?

Burk
Tayva is always so stylish

Too cute in her swimsuit.

 

[lili]

Ella
Sorry to hear about your work vs sahm situation.
I feel your pain.
Too bad our goverment doesn't give us a bigger tax break for childcare, then we wouldn't need to make that much to just break even.

My maternity leave is about to end soon, and each day I sit here thinking how nice it would be if we were in Canada where Jas12 is

Anyway, hope you find a solution to your dilemma soon.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

TGal, those morning giggles and smiles are the best.

Lili, isn''t her crinkled nose the sweetest? It only does that with BIG smiles/giggles.

BTW I got these really nice wooden toy bins thing from Pier One. They are on clearance and I figured much prettier than the plastic ones.

 

[Jas12]

Ella--this is such a common struggle! I am dreading making the decision. Luckily i have my mom and MIL in town so i know i have another child care option. Do you have any friends/relatives you can "care-share" with?
30K a year for daycare is crazy and IMO it makes no sense for you to bust you as* off all day, away from your kids (when u don''t want to be) to afford for someone else to raise them.
I worked in a daycare for 4 years and even tho i think i provided the best care i could and there are some really great things about daycare i don''t think it would be the choice for me, just not enough one-on-one care/attention. I was stretched to the limit at that job and felt guilty every day. However, i worked at a public government subsided daycare (do they have those in the states, rates are around 15-20$ a day per kid???) and they are crowded. I am sure there are great centers out there, just not the one i worked at. I hope you can find some compromise that works for your family.

......
I have a personal question for those who have had v-births: how long afterward sex hurt? DH and I have resumed, um, *relations* and it is not comfortable and it doesn''t seem to be getting any better

--not that we are ''practicing'' all that often, but the few times we have DTD the discomfort was enough to be a distraction.

So our cottage bbq was kinda a bust today--rained allll day, but it was still nice to be out of the house with friends, hopefully tomorrow is nicer.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/28/2008 10:18:38 PM
Author: Jas12
......
I have a personal question for those who have had v-births: how long afterward sex hurt? DH and I have resumed, um, *relations* and it is not comfortable and it doesn''t seem to be getting any better

--not that we are ''practicing'' all that often, but the few times we have DTD the discomfort was enough to be a distraction.

Jas, obviously I can''t speak from my own experience, but my three closest friends who all had v-births in the last couple years said it took from 6 months to a year for it to become completely comfortable again!

They were very upset that they were not given more accurate information about this by their doctors, all of whom said 6 weeks was how long they had to wait to resume "relations"... thought I''d just let you know, seems from their experiences that it can take a looooooong time.

 

[lili]

Tacori
Yup, and that second one with the crinkled nose looked like she''s say "ewww"

 

[lili]

Jas12
Ha, who has time?
Anyway, my sister told me that with her first, it took them 6 months (like the general concensus) before she''s comfortable.
With her second, it was alot shorter. I think it was 2 months.

 

[lili]

Date: 6/28/2008 10:18:38 PM
Author: Jas12
So our cottage bbq was kinda a bust today--rained allll day, but it was still nice to be out of the house with friends, hopefully tomorrow is nicer.

Awwee..the weather here is super nice today.
Hope the weather is nicer tomorrow.

I meant to tell you how I love the pix of Co and Charlie.
He look so tiny in his daddy''s arms -- sweet.

 

[msb700]

ella: sorry to hear that the $$ are tough

Im sure u''ll be able to find something that suits u to work from home without the need to have to look at daycare...(ive heard some companies already have daycare IN the building itself no? part of the package?)

MrsF: loooove the pic and the swings! so cool!! and good luck with putting him in bed now!! i suffered initially coz he thought it was a game to keep pulling himself up the crib!!!


Burk: hope T''s teeth coming in 2 at a time as well

(little K had two come out together as well..now his molars are coming out..that is noooo fun!!)..now we''ve got to see some pics of T in the pool!!

Tgal: i switched to level 2 nipples when little K turned 3 months old, so i think it would be safe to switch now...what was funny is that he took almost HALF the time he normally did to drink a bottle coz he could get so much more now...but he loved it...took less effort on his end

Jas12: hmmmmm...well, lets say that it took us about a month or so after the 8 week mark (i gave myself 2 extra weeks JUST to be sure that everything healed properly ) for things to get normal...honestly, after the first 3 or 4 times it felt normal again....i DO know some friends that took longer to feel comfortable..i think u just need to take it easier...and umm..hmm..how do i say this without being vulgar ...i would suggest using some umm...lubricants to ease matters..maybe that will help?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Jas12, I''ll let you know when it is no longer uncomfortable

But it is worse while BFing. Dries you up.

 

[Jas12]

Lovely, i am beginning to think L &D and parenting in general is a giant test of character (how much stretching, puking, gaining, exhaustion, pain, hormonal fluctuations etc. etc. can one person endure in one chunk of time?!)--luckily most of us pass so i am hanging onto that --but really, if kids weren''t so cute humanity would have been extinct looonb agon IMO
So at least 6 months of discomfort seems to be the consensus. Tacori i remember you mentioning that wine helps with this--probably in more ways that one.
Ella, i think you mentioned discomfort even with a section? Do i remember correctly?


Sun is out--i am heading to the dock. I am going to be brave and wear the bikini despite my insecurities--it is what it is.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Jas12, ella is the one who found wine helped

I agree! TG they are so cute otherwise people would be CRAZY to have kids. haha! Enjoy the dock. I am sure you look great.

 

[mrssalvo]

jas12- wine is a MUST!! 6 months is a realisitic amount of time to expect. some go longer, some less but I''d say 6 months is average...

 

[TravelingGal]

Well, I just started my period yesterday and it hurt to put a tampon in (and I had a c-section!). So I wonder how you vaggie birth gals would feel. Ouch! I''m rusty down there!

AND...

I started losing my hair yesterday too. Period and hair loss all in the same day. I had to look at Amelia and beg for a smile in order to feel a bit better today. I''m a fat, bald, leaky woman!!!

 

[ellaila]

Oh yes, VINO goes a looooong way!!!! And even if you''re nursing, you can still sneak in a glass - just pump and dump if you''re really nervous about it, but I was told that as long as you drink it right after a feeding, that it''ll be out of your system by the next feeding.

With a c-section, it took me a good 3-4 months for it to stop being uncomfortable. The doctor said the walls down there thin out so it''s just more painful and dry. And add the aftereffects from a v-birth to it, and yikes, I can imagine it would be downright unpleasant!

Oh TGal, you may a fat, bald, leaky woman, but you''re OUR fat, bald leaky woman and we loves ya, lady! Seriously though, it takes a while to feel like yourself again. I can say that at 7 months PP, I feel back to my old self (but with a saggier belly) -- same general body as before, hair loss has stopped, sex drive is back to normal, etc. So give yourself another month minimum, I''d say, to start to feel better about things -- but I promise that in time, you''ll feel like yourself again!

So I''m chopping off all my hair on Wednesday, and I cannot wait!!! I think I''m going to have a bonfire and burn all my hair elastics. I love the photo attached here. How cute is that?

Oh, and thanks everyone for the kind words re my sad post the other night. We''ll figure something out!

 

[ellaila]

Rats. Here it is

 

[neatfreak]

Ellaila: I LOVE that haircut. I actually have it myself. And that's the same pic I brought in with me! BUT one word of caution...it will never look like that without a LOT of styling. My stylist warned me...and he was right. It still is a super cute cut though...just never looks like that picture.

Looks more like some of the more subdued pictures of that cut, either super straight if I flat iron, or flipped out at the ends....I *think* from seeing your previous pics we have similar hair...but not sure!

 

[miraclesrule]

T-Gal, my thoughts are with you. That is so very difficult. We are here for you.

And as for milestones...trust me, you will become a freak about it. As in...yeah, I am really freaky because "today I just went to greet my darling child in the crib and as I kissed her, I noticed she had morning breath" OMG, she has morning breath!!! Where''s the babybook!!!

Granted this was ohhhhh, 28 years ago, but trust me, you will be a freak too. I still have a container holding all of her baby teeth...ewwwwwwwwwww!!!! Moms are freaks.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ella, do you KNOW how happy my DH would be if I cut my hair like that?!? Oh so thrilled. He loves me in short hair. It is a super cute style. Post a pic!

TGal, I am STILL short, bald, fat lady.

I finally hit my wall of tolerance and have been going to the gym and *trying* to count calories. It''s hard. Much harder than I ever thought. For someone who has never had to work on her weight it is very humbling. I agree you are only 3 months out! I, on the other hand, have 5 months of a head start. Trust me,

I am NOT a pretty sight!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

miraclesrule, totally understand you! I think it is funny (and I hope no one takes offense) but sometimes first time preggos say things and I just shake my head KNOWING they have NO IDEA!!! Though she will not admit it, TGal has turned into a softy!

Being a mom changes EVERYTHING!!!

 

[ellaila]

Neatfreak, that''s so funny that you used the same photo! It''s just so darn cute, isn''t it? I have a few other pics to bring as well, but I just love that shot. For your sake, I hope your hair isn''t like mine - mine is SO annoying. It''s not straight, it''s not curly. It''s wavy on a good day, and on a bad day, it''s a frizzball. And it POOFS. Ugh, it poofs!! Do you have any photos of your haircut?? I''d love to see it IRL (well, in real Internet life!) ... I''m actually going to a totally new salon (well, new to me but it''s been around for a while), and I''m excited/scared at the same time to do such a drastic cut at a new place, you know? But my current hair person is just sort of "meh" and is fine for a trim, but not so much for something trendy and cool. I cannot wait to cut this mop off my head. I''m so ready!

Tacori, can you have your hubby talk to mine and tell him that shorter hair can be cute?? My hubby prefers long hair and is not thrilled that I am doing this. But seriously, I look so much like the stereotypical "I''m a new mom and don''t care how I look" woman right now that I can''t stand it! This ponytail has got to go. I love long hair -- WHEN it looks good. But to have long hair just for the sake of being long is pointless IMO. But I think Katie Holmes is the perfect example of how people can look a lot better with shorter hair.

Sort of along the lines of what you said, T, I was telling Q today how I''m starting to feel like an "experienced" Mom now and that I can actually offer up advice to those with kids younger than ours (ONLY if they ask for it, of course)! I think the funniest thing is when parents of like one-, two-, three-week-old babies say, "It''s going great!" Oh ... you just wait, naive one ... it''s a''coming!! I mean, I remember saying to friends who came to visit us in the hospital when the babies were born, "I can''t believe how many people give up on BFing so quickly. It''s going so well! The babies take right to it, blah blah blah ..." -- fast forward three weeks, and it was quite a different story! But of course I would never tell that to someone who''s in those first few days, you know? It''s for everyone to experience on their own. But looking back on it now, it''s pretty funny

 

[neatfreak]

Ellaila: Unfortunately I DO have hair just like yours! I only have one picture (and it''s really bad, DH forbid me from showing his face in it because it''s so bad hehe), and it shows the cut on the longer side and flat ironed. It *is* very versatile for those with hair like us, because it works curly or straight, but unfortunately it isn''t a wash and wear style.

My one complaint is that it isn''t long enough to hide in a ponytail, so I think I''ll be growing it a smidge longer before the babes arrive to ensure that I have an easy out if needed!

 

[neatfreak]

Photo for you, this is flatironed. If I spend time on it I can get it to look like the KH picture, but it takes awhile unfortunately...flat iron and THEN curl. Too much work! This was at X-mas at a friend's apartment

And yes I bought him that shirt!

:

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ella, long hair is easier (ponytail!) so that is what I prefer. Sounds like my hair is a lot like yours. I hate it! (No offense) I am just so jealous of people who can let their hair air dry and it looks great. So not me! Plus it takes forever and a day to blow dry.

I was the same way (naive!) I thought I would have no problem having her cry it out. I thought BFing would be natural and easy. Bwahhahhaaa. I thought I would lose the baby weight by now

But I am more laid back than I thought I would be. In a lot of ways I feel like a second time mom (but with one child).

 

[Burk]

msflutter~That pic of Ian and his friends is so cute!

Tacori~They can test for allergies with a blood draw (A LOT of blood our allergist says). There is a difference between allergies and intollerances and so when she saw the allergist he thought she only is intollerant to milk, soy, corn so he didn't think we should test her because he said it's pretty miserable. Now, with the way she reacted to the carrots (or so we think) I'm re-thinking. I'm going to ask the doc we see Tuesday what he recommends and then call her allergist Wednesday to discuss. Poor kid has more doctors....

Skippy~Thanks. You always pop in to make us mommies feel good about our babes. Thanks for that!

Tgal~So glad all the pics helped. So many cute babies can make anyone's day better I guess.

I have pics from the pool and of T and her little pal this weekend that I will upload during her nap tomorrow. I expect to see some Amelia pics soon!

As for level 2 nipples we switched right at 3 months because T seemed frustrated.

lili~Thanks! Don't tell my husband....he thinks I buy her too many clothes!

Jas12~I'm no help. I didn't have any discomfort the first time we resumed (the day I had my 6 wk appt). I think it's different for everyone, though. I have a friend who it took a good 6-7 months until she even let her hubby near her!

msb~Thanks, I hope so too! Poor little K with the molars.

Ella~So exciting about the hair cut! I had super long hair and was in a "rut" and chopped it all off when T was 6 weeks (at a new salon as well). She cut off 10 inches! I don't regret it a bit. It took me a while to get used to how to style my new hair, but I'm so glad I did it. Oh, and it sounds like our hair is the same...wavy, kinda poofy, pretty much a PITA.

oh, just saw Tacori has our same hair. Poor us!

If I let mine air dry....yuck. I like that my new cut is still long enough for a pony tail in a pinch. Here are pics of me before and after:

 

[Burk]

Would help if I attached a pic: Before (good pic to see how long my hair was)

 

[Burk]

New cut. Not the best pic but I''m tired from travel so it''ll do. It''s amazing what some product and a good flattening iron can do.