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PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

China - good to hear you''re feeling better. Hopefully now you can get into a routine and things will go smoother.

Pandora - That book sounds interesting, I''ll have to check it out!

Tao - cute pics! I love the little face peaking out of the towel.

***

So we had the Comedy of Errors this morning
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. Kyle woke up a bit later than usual, I got him eating, fed the dog, got dressed, and started to change his clothes. By the time I normally leave the house I was attempting to button up his shirt as he clung to me like a leach, and wondering why I picked a button up shirt for today. I managed to get a sweater on him, then the dog wanted outside. Let the dog out, got a sweater onto me, let the dog back in, and grabbed my things. At this point I was 5 minutes behind. Then Kyle decided he didn''t approve of mommy''s oufit, and spit up on my shirt and skirt (but not HIS clothes, so I guess he liked what he was wearing
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). I had to run back to the bedroom, strip off the clothes that I just ironed, and grap something else. We got to the sitter 15 minutes late.
 
Tao, precious!

China, I''m so glad things are going better!

Pandora, I''m glad you like the book! I guess I''ll need to think about reading up on discipline soon.

But your post made me wonder: is there a book that advocates never saying no like you described? Because I swear that''s exactly what my SIL followed. My two-year-old nephew was trying to kill his infant brother, and SIL said, "Use your words! Are you angry? Use your words!" I was like, hmmm, maybe we should stop the toddler from murdering his brother before we ask him to articulate the complex feelings associated with being supplanted by a younger sibling . . . When I told my mom I was pregnant, she said, "I''m going to be able to say, ''No'' to your child, right?" So is that a real philosophy? It doesn''t seemed to have worked with my nephews, who at 5 and 7 are out of control and both still poop their pants.
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I just had to pop in and post the Christmas Angel picture of Granddaughter Veda. It''s NOT the one that is being used for the holiday card. I didn''t read the warning on the other photo that told me I could NOT post the picture anywhere...even on PS!
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Thirty minutes after I posted said holiday card photo on FB my daughter called me to say "Mom, you''re in BIG trouble!!" Whaaaaat??? Oops...so I had to run to my FB and remove it really fast. My bad Gramma... But this one I get to post.
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Veda xmas angel.jpg
 
Veda is beautiful!!!! Do you think her eyes will stay blue? I think Claire's will change to brown eventually.


Question . . . the linea nigra. Mine does not seem to be fading . . . am I stuck with it forevermore? My mom and sister didn't get one, so I don't have them to go on. Wikipedia says it appears around the second trimester, but I swear mine developed almost immediately after getting pregnant.


DH is out of town for business tonight, so Claire and I are experiencing our first night alone. Thank goodness she is only waking up once in the night because I am not good at going from asleep to ready to take care of baby instantly.

Ugh, writing that post about my nephews is making me dread the holidays a little. When they were little, I had more patience with them. The 5 year old still drinks out of a sippy cup (which he is not allowed/capable to fill) and goes around demanding refills from any grownup, even if that grownup is his heavily pregnant, napping aunt. Last time I saw them, nephew threw his sticky popsicle stick on the kitchen table for his mom to clean up while my sister's younger kids knew to ask where the trash can was. I'm sure there's more to their problems than any parenting philosophy gone wrong; I think the problem is that both parents are "FP"s on the Myers-Briggs test, so neither is programmed to be the "bad cop" or to introduce much structure. They both also can't stand to see their children upset, which is why DH had to teach the 7 year old to ride his bike this summer. Nephew would get upset and Mom and Dad would give up on trying to push him past that. And oh, the whining . . .
 
Date: 12/16/2009 2:02:20 PM
Author: phoenixgirl
Veda is beautiful!!!! Do you think her eyes will stay blue? I think Claire''s will change to brown eventually.


Question . . . the linea nigra. Mine does not seem to be fading . . . am I stuck with it forevermore? My mom and sister didn''t get one, so I don''t have them to go on. Wikipedia says it appears around the second trimester, but I swear mine developed almost immediately after getting pregnant.


DH is out of town for business tonight, so Claire and I are experiencing our first night alone. Thank goodness she is only waking up once in the night because I am not good at going from asleep to ready to take care of baby instantly.

Ugh, writing that post about my nephews is making me dread the holidays a little. When they were little, I had more patience with them. The 5 year old still drinks out of a sippy cup (which he is not allowed/capable to fill) and goes around demanding refills from any grownup, even if that grownup is his heavily pregnant, napping aunt. Last time I saw them, nephew threw his sticky popsicle stick on the kitchen table for his mom to clean up while my sister''s younger kids knew to ask where the trash can was. I''m sure there''s more to their problems than any parenting philosophy gone wrong; I think the problem is that both parents are ''FP''s on the Myers-Briggs test, so neither is programmed to be the ''bad cop'' or to introduce much structure. They both also can''t stand to see their children upset, which is why DH had to teach the 7 year old to ride his bike this summer. Nephew would get upset and Mom and Dad would give up on trying to push him past that. And oh, the whining . . .
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I still have my linea nigra, although it has lightened up. I''m 6.5 months post preg so I''m starting to worry it''s never going to go away! Mine was never that dark/thick to begin w/ so I''m surprised it hasn''t disappeared yet. My BFF and SIL did get them much darker then me and they did eventually go away...but could take a year
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Miracles, she is just stunning! If it makes you feel any better, my mom missed my warning to NOT show the immediately after birth photos (in which I was completely naked and everything was showing) to people.
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Tao, he is so cute! Of course you''re not boring us. And wow on the rolling!

MG - I hate those days. Sorry about that.

Nebulizer - TV didn''t help George one bit, but it helped the adults present to feel less frazzled while all the screaming was going on. Worth a shot, at any rate.

China - I''m so glad that you''re feeling better!!

"No" - I''m not aware of a philosophy that advocates never saying no, but some think that the word "no" is sometimes overused and that other techniques can be more appropriate or effective for certain situations.
 
Miracles- What a gorgeous picture of a gorgeous baby! And I am curious as to what naughtiness a newborn could up to that would lead to the banning of a picture!
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Tao- Never bored of baby pics on this thread! Evan is a cutie, and wow for rolling over so soon!

Blen-
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on your mom oversharing with the after birth photo. But ummm, did that even need a "do not show" warning? Don't most people know that naked bloody bits aren't to be shared?
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Mustang- See, your comedy of errors morning is why I am so much better off with a nanny than with daycare. I can't imagine having to get O ready in the morning as well as myself to get anywhere on time!
 
Blen, I''ve definitely heard that if you say "No" too often, it loses its meaning. I''ll try to save it for the important stuff. As a school teacher and an INTJ, I think my leanings will be on the "bad cop" side of things, so I''ll want to work on being more laid-back.

My SIL, on the other hand, goes to these great lengths to always give the children a choice instead of saying no, but when two boys want the same toy or when one of them is trying to do something dangerous, coming up with a "choice" where the boy will want to choose the right thing can be impossible. But the worst, and this obviously is just a failed discipline method and not any philosophy, is that 10x a day my SIL will start counting as a way to indicate that the boy needs to stop his behavior. But instead of anything happening at the end of the counting, she just starts over so she doesn''t have to lose face when the child doesn''t listen. Then she becomes upset and stomps off because the child wouldn''t listen. Let''s say my nephew is Billy. "Billy, you need to stop that. 1, 2 . . . Billy, listen to me. 1, 2 . . . Billy, I''m talking to you. 1 . . . Billy! 1, 2 . . . . Billy, why are you making Mommy upset!?!?!! I can''t deal with this right now!!!!" [Stomp, stomp, stomp, slam.] Then Billy says, "Mommy? Mommy? I love you Mommy!" and bangs on the door professing his love until Mommy comes out.

I used to love being with my family over the holidays . . .
 
RE linea nigra: Mine didn''t fully fade until close to 9 months!
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PG your stories are cracking me up.

re: saying No... do some of you find that you can use ''tone'' instead of the word to get your point across? at what age do you feel like that happens?
 
I'm just trying to imagine... "Billy, I can see that you'd like to run in the road in front of that car, but would you like to come here and play with this toy instead?"

Mara, he can read tone at 8 months old but I don't think he can quite put together why mama is upset and so all it doesn't really have the desired effect.

China - to my mom's credit, she didn't show the picture of him rumping (crowning). But I don't think she even realized that you could see lady parts and nipples in some of the ones where he was laying on my chest afterwards. And they were all labeled things like "Birth 010 - EXPLICIT NUDITY". And the body of the email said not to show them.
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ETA - speaking of - we decided to send a photo message to family once he was here, due to divorced parents competing - if everybody received the same message at the same time, then nobody could "win".
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DH took a photo and wrote something like "George Everett is here 12:56 pm", and then showed it to me for my okay before sending it on. George took up half of the photo and my exposed boob took up the other half. I had him redo it. I think sometimes people just get excited and don't think. I mean, DH is generally pretty on top of stuff, but the arrival of a baby is exciting and sometimes thought just goes out the window. Any lurking preggos, please keep this in mind.
 
Date: 12/16/2009 4:37:32 PM
Author: Blenheim
ETA - speaking of - we decided to send a photo message to family once he was here, due to divorced parents competing - if everybody received the same message at the same time, then nobody could ''win''.
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DH took a photo and wrote something like ''George Everett is here 12:56 pm'', and then showed it to me for my okay before sending it on. George took up half of the photo and my exposed boob took up the other half. I had him redo it. I think sometimes people just get excited and don''t think. I mean, DH is generally pretty on top of stuff, but the arrival of a baby is exciting and sometimes thought just goes out the window. Any lurking preggos, please keep this in mind.
Click to expand...

LOL...it could also be that they are just too focused on the little bundle to notice the other things.
 
China - getting ready for work actually isn''t too bad on most days. I think this was the latest I''ve ever been, and that was only 15 minutes. I just don''t wear clothes often that need ironing, and thankfully most of my wardrobe is interchangeable! I did learn not to dress myself until after the baby is fed burped and dressed, since that''s when he tended to spit up the most!

Discipline - we have only really used "no" for one thing, the dog''s water dish. He hasn''t tried to put his hand in it for a while now, so I guess it''s working. Although I think it''s just because he''s "over" the water dish and would rather play in the pantry next to it...

So my pregnant friend will be induced tomorrow
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(or sometime after midnight). I''ll post a pic after if she OKs it! It will be interesting attending someone else''s labor, I didn''t want anyone other than DH in the room with me, but I guess she feels better with another woman there.
 
Blen- Well let''s just assume she was too excited about the birth of George to think properly!

Speaking of newborn pics, I just looked at the ones taken of O in the hospital the day he was born. Oh WOW he looks sooo different. I mean, I know he does but I hadn''t looked at those pics in awhile. If you all have newborn pics, go look at them again. I almost don''t recognize O in the pics from the first day! Tried to upload to show the difference, but can''t do it on my work computer.
 
Re: "no"....

It''s not rocket science. Whatever you use: no, don''t, stop, that''s not safe, mommy doesn''t want you to do that, hey! etc etc, pick your battles and win them. Babies (and even more so, toddlers) are smarter than you think they are. If they find out they can win, they''ll keep doing what they''re doing and doing it in bigger and better ways to beat you.

My own technique that I still use with Amelia (and that still works) is calling her name to get her attention and a finger wag. I chose a method that would be somewhat quiet in public.
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Tao-Evan is so cute and so determined!

MR-Veda is gorgeous
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PG-My linea negra is gone. The stretchmarks are not. I would much rather have a very random and visible linea than what''s going on right now
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MG-Oh no to your morning! LOL

Re No: We don''t say "no" but I usually say "that''s not for you" since she''s at the age where she wants to grab everything in sight.

Yesterday I got my first shipment from Target and inside were the gifts for her cousins. I let her play with one and when I took it away she cried! Like full on tears. It took us a while to figure out she was crying because of the toy. I gave it back and she was happy so I said "that''s not for you" and put it away. She almost twisted her neck to see where I was headed with it and then got a little grumpy before getting over it
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But it made me realize she''s not a little newborn anymore
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. The fact that she can recognize wanting something besides food is just crazy to me.
 
Thanks for the compliments..he''s been rolling since 3 weeks 6 days....we luckily caught it on video or else I don''t think anyone would believe us.

PG: Your stories are cracking me up.

As for saying "no", I''m hoping I''ll be able to change it up some- I don''t want the word to lose its meaning. I''d probably also use what Fiery says.
 
Miraclesrule--
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Your granddaughter is a little beauty.
Her features are so unique....is she mix if you don''t mind me asking.

Tao--
Awww.....what a cutie.
And wow for rolling over already.
He''s a strong little guy.
Love your Christmas photo shoot by the way.

linea nigra: mine showed up pretty early too. went away by 8 months PP I think.
 
rps--
your little one is so petite.
My nieces were like him too.

China--
Oo....love seeing side by side comparisons of little ones.
They do change so much huh? I think they stop changing around 6 months.
My DD doesn''t recognize her baby pictures from birth to 5 months, so she''ll call herself baby.
Anyway, just want to say that maybe your little guy is small-boned, so even though he weigh less....but he doesn''t look skinny.
My nieces were like that....they were under 15 lbs at one year...but they are pretty solid when you hold them.
 
PG - Not sure if there is a ''never say no'' philosophy out there, but I''ve come across parents who appear to follow one. The other one I hate is what my sister does with her two demons (5 and 3) which is to continually shout and berate her kids for everything and so miss the bigger ''sins''.

The book recommends using ''No'' or a set word of the same ilk for important times like when they are about to run into the road or touch something hot, and find other ways of saying no the rest of the time. DH and I have tended to say ''Not for bears'' for most things and use No for dangerous things, so it seems we''d been doing what they advise all along.

Mara, Daisy can tell that I am meaning something by my tone but she tends to either laugh at me or to try and hug me so I don''t thing she has any idea what I am saying.

Linea Nigra - mine was faint to start with and has practically gone now at 7 months.
 
PG: I used to do the counting thing with my DD when she was little. It is definately a failed disciplinary approach. I learned that as soon as I started to say "I''m going to count to 3...One..." and then my daughter stood there which a sarcastic mimic roll of the eyes as she drew out her own "Twooooooooo" Hahaha, the good ole days.

Blen: OMG, my DD would really kill me if I showed any pictures of her in the delivery room. I guess that is why I was designated as the picture taker. Her MIL held the camera and I held one of my daughter''s legs.

Lili: I think baby Veda is going to inherit some of my DD''s "exotic" features. I don''t understand where my daughter got them, but she does have a definate exotic look about her. I think it was just her Dad''s little beady eyes and my high eyebrow mix. It will be interesting to see how Veda develops. I think she is going to have my daughter''s SIL''s "bedroom eyes"<-----that is how she refers to them...with a laugh. I just hope she inherits the sense of humor gene from all of us.
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Pandora, ugh, shouting and berating is awful. My parents were always calm when they interacted with us. At my dad's funeral his best friend shared (in a funny way) how the only time he ever saw my dad mad was when I backed into the side of the garage the second time. But they really never lost their cool, unlike unstable MIL. One of my earliest memories of her is from college; she asked us to return her rental movie, and DH said we would do it when we finished watching some tv show. All of a sudden she was screaming and sobbing about how DH didn't love her.
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All joking about my SIL aside, I think that since her parenting "techniques" always end with her stomping off and yelling, she obviously needs some new ones. You're the parent; you need to realize that just because your child makes a bad choice doesn't mean you can have a tantrum in front of him. I have to believe that acting that way confuses the child and teaches him to do the same. Thankfully DH seems to have avoided this, but not all of his siblings have.

Speaking of MIL, at least now she has realized that if she calls and asks to come over with no notice, the answer will probably be no, but now she wants to come Friday when DH will be at work. This is the woman who started a blog about her grief over my dad's death -- a man whom she met a few times -- instead of sending a card or flowers or a meal. This is the woman who married a dangerous felon whom she had never seen outside of prison and who now has rewritten the history surrounding why he was sent to prison (both times). I really don't feel comfortable being alone with her, and really, I just want to say so. DH chooses to deflect and make excuses (as far as she knows, I have quite the sickly constitution). I guess that's his right. I'm a strong lady; I can tough it out. But my inclination is to call a spade a spade and get it over with. I guess the deflection works, though. Her plan to come over "every other day" to see Claire has only amounted to three visits since we've been home from the hospital.
 
PG - While I won''t argue that your SIL''s parenting could be improved, I think it can be so hard to change what we grew up with, because that''s essentially what taught us how to parent and it''s very much in our subconscious and not intentional. My mom was watching some videos that I took of me and George, and I was talking to him, and she said that I sounded EXACTLY like she did when she talked to us. This is something that I have no conscious memory of, especially as I haven''t been around her plus babies until after George was here. If your MIL is unstable and sets ultimatums and overly emotional in her interactions, that may be all that your SIL knows. And it''s so hard to break out of that.

TGal - I like your getting attention technique. I need to remember that one.


So am I a super bad mama if I let George help me make biscotti and then lick the bowl? Cause I kinda did eariler.
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GeorgeCookies.jpg
 
Blen, actually, SIL is on my side, not DH's (I realize that my melding their stories did not make this clear). Luckily MIL had all boys, as what I've read is that males are less likely to "inherit" that type of personality disorder from their mothers than daughters. SIL's mother isn't my favorite person, but I don't think she parented the way SIL does. She runs several daycares and has told SIL to step up the discipline. In my mind, there is a huge difference between my SIL, who probably could run a happy household with the help of SuperNanny, and my MIL, who needs professional help.

You're a good mama! The lick sounded yummy!
 
Date: 12/16/2009 9:44:20 PM
Author: Blenheim
PG - While I won''t argue that your SIL''s parenting could be improved, I think it can be so hard to change what we grew up with, because that''s essentially what taught us how to parent and it''s very much in our subconscious and not intentional. My mom was watching some videos that I took of me and George, and I was talking to him, and she said that I sounded EXACTLY like she did when she talked to us. This is something that I have no conscious memory of, especially as I haven''t been around her plus babies until after George was here. If your MIL is unstable and sets ultimatums and overly emotional in her interactions, that may be all that your SIL knows. And it''s so hard to break out of that.

TGal - I like your getting attention technique. I need to remember that one.


So am I a super bad mama if I let George help me make biscotti and then lick the bowl? Cause I kinda did eariler.
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Click to expand...
OMG, he is too cute!! I still offer up the mixer to people in the room. That is something that no human should ever grow out of... And that is the epitome of a "Super Good Mama"
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Ah, understood. After I remembered how special your MIL is, I figured that SIL really wasn''t doing too bad. But, in that case - I may take it back.
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I had a few licks and they were definitely yummy, but raw egg didn''t seem like the bestest idea for a baby. But it was so good.
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Date: 12/16/2009 9:44:20 PM
Author: Blenheim
PG - While I won''t argue that your SIL''s parenting could be improved, I think it can be so hard to change what we grew up with, because that''s essentially what taught us how to parent and it''s very much in our subconscious and not intentional. My mom was watching some videos that I took of me and George, and I was talking to him, and she said that I sounded EXACTLY like she did when she talked to us. This is something that I have no conscious memory of, especially as I haven''t been around her plus babies until after George was here. If your MIL is unstable and sets ultimatums and overly emotional in her interactions, that may be all that your SIL knows. And it''s so hard to break out of that.

TGal - I like your getting attention technique. I need to remember that one.


So am I a super bad mama if I let George help me make biscotti and then lick the bowl? Cause I kinda did eariler.
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Click to expand...
Hahaha! Great photo!

Blen, I started early with a firm "NO!" and the finger wag (she was about 7 mos). I started dropping the "No" and just doing the finger wag. Worked like a charm for ages. I know my finger wagging days are numbered as she goes into the terrible twos, but boy did it spare me a lot of barkin'' in the last year!
 
Date: 12/16/2009 10:30:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/16/2009 9:44:20 PM
Author: Blenheim
PG - While I won''t argue that your SIL''s parenting could be improved, I think it can be so hard to change what we grew up with, because that''s essentially what taught us how to parent and it''s very much in our subconscious and not intentional. My mom was watching some videos that I took of me and George, and I was talking to him, and she said that I sounded EXACTLY like she did when she talked to us. This is something that I have no conscious memory of, especially as I haven''t been around her plus babies until after George was here. If your MIL is unstable and sets ultimatums and overly emotional in her interactions, that may be all that your SIL knows. And it''s so hard to break out of that.

TGal - I like your getting attention technique. I need to remember that one.


So am I a super bad mama if I let George help me make biscotti and then lick the bowl? Cause I kinda did eariler.
12.gif
Click to expand...
Hahaha! Great photo!

Blen, I started early with a firm ''NO!'' and the finger wag (she was about 7 mos). I started dropping the ''No'' and just doing the finger wag. Worked like a charm for ages. I know my finger wagging days are numbered as she goes into the terrible twos, but boy did it spare me a lot of barkin'' in the last year!
Click to expand...
Speaking of finger wagging....I have to finger wag at you TG. I bought another Not Rational bag yesterday. The green one. I needed a Gramma Bag...and it''s all your fault!! ::::::::wagging finger at TG::::::::::
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Date: 12/17/2009 12:49:41 AM
Author: miraclesrule

Date: 12/16/2009 10:30:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal


Date: 12/16/2009 9:44:20 PM
Author: Blenheim
PG - While I won''t argue that your SIL''s parenting could be improved, I think it can be so hard to change what we grew up with, because that''s essentially what taught us how to parent and it''s very much in our subconscious and not intentional. My mom was watching some videos that I took of me and George, and I was talking to him, and she said that I sounded EXACTLY like she did when she talked to us. This is something that I have no conscious memory of, especially as I haven''t been around her plus babies until after George was here. If your MIL is unstable and sets ultimatums and overly emotional in her interactions, that may be all that your SIL knows. And it''s so hard to break out of that.

TGal - I like your getting attention technique. I need to remember that one.


So am I a super bad mama if I let George help me make biscotti and then lick the bowl? Cause I kinda did eariler.
12.gif
Click to expand...
Hahaha! Great photo!

Blen, I started early with a firm ''NO!'' and the finger wag (she was about 7 mos). I started dropping the ''No'' and just doing the finger wag. Worked like a charm for ages. I know my finger wagging days are numbered as she goes into the terrible twos, but boy did it spare me a lot of barkin'' in the last year!
Click to expand...
Speaking of finger wagging....I have to finger wag at you TG. I bought another Not Rational bag yesterday. The green one. I needed a Gramma Bag...and it''s all your fault!! ::::::::wagging finger at TG::::::::::
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Click to expand...
Cool! Meant to post the VIP sale, but didn''t see any good hansel bags (or so I thought) so I didn''t post it. Is yours a hansel?
 
Yes Miss, it is.
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The color was better than I had imagined. I can''t wait to get my Gramma on!
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