PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 1:10:36 PM
Author: Mara
TG...his naps are typically around 1pm, 3pm, 5pm right now given that he gets up at around 10am or 11am. give or take 30 min one way or the other. he is only napping like 45min-1hour stretches about 3x a day. i can''t get him to go longer at all right now, he totally wakes up regardless of the situation he''s in. depending on if he got that 3rd nap in sometimes i will put him in his swing if he is fussy at about 6:30pm or 7pm so we can eat, and sometimes he ''catnaps'' in there but only light sleep. we try to make sure he is ''up'' for 7:30-8:30 since 8:30 is when we start his routine to have him hopefully down by 9:30 or 10. sometimes he goes down at 9:30 but more likely 10. so his last ''real nap'' is usually about 3-4 hours from his bedtime. i KNOW he is tired even by 8pm, but he just fights it so hard.

ETA...congrats dreamer!!

re: soothing... it depends. sometimes i can tell from how he is acting and looking that i don''t have to do much soothing for him. for naps i don''t do much...i will swaddle him and rock him for just a minute or two til he is ''calm'' but awake, turn on the sheep and put him down. sometimes he lays there and then falls asleep, sometimes he lays there and then slowly becomes more alert, fights it and eventually cries. then i go in and rinse and repeat the whole thing. typically 2nd or 3rd time he will drop off for ~45 min. these are naps.

for bedtime soothing, we swaddle, then go into dark room, and do the happy baby rocking and sshh''ing or sometimes i sing him a song. he goes through periods of drowsy, light sleep and then alert most times when we are holding him. if we put him down too soon he will usually wake himself up and cry within 15 min. then it''s rinse and repeat, 2nd time usually works. for bedtimes we have not been able to just put him down drowsy alert and have him drop off. he will always fully wake and cry then.

also i said earlier but he knows how to self-soothe but it depends on his mood if it''s successful. i try to gauge but not always successfully.

and waking up from naps or sleep... it also depends..sometimes he wakes up slowly, i can hear and see him in the monitor moving and making noise but he will drop off a few more times before coming fully alert and making weak cries. and other times it''s up and crying full force.

Well, if you want to experiment, I''d say, try this...

Amelia was going through the same type of thing...very very tired by 7ish, which is why I got the idea we needed to move the bedtime to that point. It got progressively harder to keep her awake until 10, so the signs are there.

First he gets UP from the day at 10 or 11? To get him to go down earlier, he would probably need to wake up earlier. You can attempt to move the entire DAY up. I was initially going to say since his last nap is at 5, and if he wakes up at 6, you could probably start getting him ready for put down at 7:30 and get him down before 8 without bothering to try the 30 minute increments. This will mean however that your night may be screwed up he''ll wake up somewhere in the middle of night (IF he does).

But the main issue I see right now is his wake up time. Very difficult to put a kid down at 8 if he''s waking up for the day at 10 or 11. It seems that he''s actually on a decent schedule since you have his days going in 12 hour chunks for awake time...you''d just have to find a way to move the entire cycle earlier. Wake him UP at 9. Then do the naps on the schedule based on time elaspsed. If you know he''ll go down 2 hours from wake up, his first nap is at 11, then 1, then 3, etc. With Amelia, I found it wasn''t the actual clock TIME that was key, but the amount of hours between activities. That''s how her clock was conditioned to be set.

I know you love a good experiment - and while it''s scary to mess with a good thing (especially much needed sleeeeeeeep), it''s also easier to try things at this age before they become more aware of what you''re doing to them. Hee. Good luck!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

totally threadjacking to say....CONGRATS DREAMER!

Also, did you see Echidna''s new ring in SMTR? I thought of you

 

[fieryred33143]

Awe look at little Amelia

. I don''t think I''ve ever seen photos of her.

Ok so on the napping/sleeping: I wish I had written everything down.

I can tell you that Sophia was a late sleeper and it was entirely our fault. I kept arguing that she was just a late sleeper but the truth is that we just didn''t have the right process to get her to bed earlier. She used to "catnap" at 7:30 in her swing, wake up mabye 30 mins later and then sleep at 10pm. Every day the sleep got a little longer (30mins, 35, 40, 50, etc). Then one night I decided I didn''t want her taking naps in her swing anymore so I put her in her crib and 2 hours later she was still asleep and I had to wake her to change her clothes (she was wearing a dress lol). So we gradually moved it up. We let her catnap at 7:30 but moved up her bedtime to 9:30, then 9pm, then dropped the catnap and kept her awake until 8:30 and slowly moved to 7:30. She was still not STTN at this point. At 6 months was when she started sleeping 11-13 hours at night.

Also, another thing that helped us out was that when it was night and she would wake up we did NOT do anything with her. Night time was sleep time. It was not walk around the house to soothe time. It wasn''t let''s go sit in the living room for a little while time. I didn''t talk to her. I didn''t give her kisses as much as I wanted to eat her up. We just sat in the boring glider in the boring dark room not talking. She may have fallen back to sleep out of boredom but at least she was asleep lol. We still do the same. As soon as the lights turn off, silence but once she''s asleep I steal loads of kisses

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 1:25:22 PM
Author: Mara
love the pic TG!! she looks so cute in there. and the mattress looks plush. we have a firmer one so he doesn''t make any type of dent in it. my MOM thinks he doesn''t love the crib because it''s too ''big'' and he likes cozier spaces. also the last few days i have put him in the crib with the new wedge we have he MOVES himself around now. i have found him sideways which of course pisses him off to no end.

we thought about starting to move him to the crib by putting him in there after his ''nighttime'' wake...which of course now is becoming ''morning'' wake. because typically he only gets like 2-4 hours of sleep after that feed. so it wouldn''t be as ''detrimental'' to our night sleep if he didn''t sleep the whole 2-4 hours whereas if we just move him to crib now at 10pm and he only sleeps 2 hours then that messes with our long stretch.

of course we are just THINKING all of this because like you said, it''s paralyzing to want to change anything or ruin something. even though tomorrow or the day after HE could decide ''hey i am over this, lets sleep 2 hour stretches'' anyway.

I believe the word you are looking for is "lumpy." Which it was. This was my friend''s mattress (she gave us the crib) and it was the mattress for BOTH of her kids. Once I saw her in it (and this pic, actually), I went out and bought her a new, firmer mattress that week. Plus they say older, used mattresses can be a SIDS risk and I figured the crib was so nasty and uninviting, that the least I could do was buy her a nice mattress.

As you can see in the pic, the one I inherited was awful. So I am not an advoate of "plush" mattresses, lol....

And yes, Amelia moved around a lot in hers once she realized she had the space. How she managed it, I don''t know. I didn''t think little babies could shift around that much!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 1:32:33 PM
Author: fiery
Awe look at little Amelia

. I don''t think I''ve ever seen photos of her.

Thanks, but she was a funny looking kid for ages. There are ton of pics of her on the preggo thread earlier and on the mommy thread before this one. Once she hit one, I stopped posting pics of her, as did a lot of the other toddler moms. However, that is not a PS "rule" so I hope some of you still post when your kids are toddlers.

 

[vizsla]

i am a little convinced that if all babies could go to sleep with only a few weeks of training or that all babies STTN at 12 weeks then the "get your baby to sleep" book market wouldn''t be so huge.

but i''m telling you ladies... we''ve done it ALL. white noise, swaddle, paci, bath, lavender lotion, tanking up (or my best attempt to what c will eat), earlier bed time, consistency, putting down slightly awake blah blah blah.... and i would love to say that on the days that it''s not eleven times a night it''s only once or twice, but it''s still 7 or 8. so, yeah... yo no se. i''m still sticking with the routine b/c he goes down super easy.. it''s just the friggin waking up that''s driving me BONKERS....

i do let him cry... not like cry cry cry.. but before i go in he has to *really* let me know he needs something. the problem with letting him go (in the past for 5+mins) is when we finally *do* go in.. he has worked himself up so much that it takes another 30mins to calm him down.

bonkers.... bonkers.....

i wonder if i will have any energy ever again?

 

[fieryred33143]

Viz-have you taken him to the pedi about his waking? I don''t remember if you said you did or not. I''m just trying to think out loud. Maybe he has something like an ear infection that wakes him up so much? Have you taken his temperature? I''m wondering if maybe he''ll be an early teether too.

 

[E B]

Sha and Ginger- Thank you so much!

Ginger, the high chair is the Boon Flair. I found it on sale and couldn't resist. Hopefully it'll last through baby #2, too!

ETA: Congratulations, Dreamer!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 1:37:18 PM
Author: vizsla
i am a little convinced that if all babies could go to sleep with only a few weeks of training or that all babies STTN at 12 weeks then the ''get your baby to sleep'' book market wouldn''t be so huge.

but i''m telling you ladies... we''ve done it ALL. white noise, swaddle, paci, bath, lavender lotion, tanking up (or my best attempt to what c will eat), earlier bed time, consistency, putting down slightly awake blah blah blah.... and i would love to say that on the days that it''s not eleven times a night it''s only once or twice, but it''s still 7 or 8. so, yeah... yo no se. i''m still sticking with the routine b/c he goes down super easy.. it''s just the friggin waking up that''s driving me BONKERS....

i do let him cry... not like cry cry cry.. but before i go in he has to *really* let me know he needs something. the problem with letting him go (in the past for 5+mins) is when we finally *do* go in.. he has worked himself up so much that it takes another 30mins to calm him down.

bonkers.... bonkers.....

i wonder if i will have any energy ever again?

Viz, I don''t know much about your history with your baby, so I won''t comment on that. However, I think there are not only so many different type of baby personalities, but many types of PARENTING personalities. Part of the issue that is that while the baby may be ready, the parent may not be. Or vice versa. So the issue is not only the type of child, but the type of parent, and trying to get the two to get in sync is part of the challenge. That''s why there are so many baby books out there. One size does not fit all.

 

[Mandarine]

uhmmm...just got done with my first day back at work (from home). And...I could get used to this.

Is that a confession?. I was able to still feed the babies and play with them a little...but walked away when it was time for naps and when they were cranky...lol. The babysitter ahs so much patience and love for them so I know they are in good hands!.

I had to listen to one of my project managers for like two hours...and that was painful, but now I have two napping babies, baysitter just left and my "baby patience tank" is still sort of full!. She emptied the dishwasher, put my bottles together, picked up the laundry and put it away...so all I have to do is wait for them to wake up and spend some time with them!

Don''t tell DH...I''m still going to tell him it was a tough day

I know not all days will be this easy (usually I''m stuck in conference calls all day!)

 

[Mara]

my own personal take on why the sleep market is so huge is because i tend to think that so many people are in survival mode for so long that suddenly they wake up and the kid is 6 or 9 or 12 months and they go holy crap i don't to do this like this for any longer. it's kind of like weight loss. one day you are like...ENOUGH! the weight loss market is huge too.

i also personally think that people like self-help books. it's fun to read about how you can change your life and make it better. READ ABOUT being the key words hehee. it's so much harder to put everything into practice. and nothing is foolproof or guaranteed. it hugely depends on the parents, the situation (aka housing), the child, the schedules.

TG...yep i agree him getting 'up' at 10 or 11 is just weird. but since now he's started going 8-9 hours it is throwing everything off. that's why i really want to try to move the bedtime up so he can go 8-9 hours but still wake at 5 so that Greg can feed him before work. we are used to him getting up at 'night' anyway so the last few days of waking at 6:30, 7, 7:30 for him are weird. then we put him back down at 8:30 or whtaever and it's morning technically but i don't want to 'give up' those 2-3 hours of sleep he will get from 8:30-11 that he WONT nap for during the day. make sense? but yep i hear you... maybe this morning we should have let him stay up at 8:30 instead of putting him back down. OR maybe technically this is a NAP?

it's all so confusing. i am just thinking 'well if he can get 14-15 hours of sleep a day he is good, period.' but since i do want to routine him soon i should start making it more strict.

the ironic thing for us is that so many people with babies J's age have NO schedules at all. so it feels kind of weird to be the only one with such a young baby trying to schedule. i do have one friend who had her baby on a schedule at 6 weeks and she's almost 4 months and it's still going strong soooo. i do believe like you said DD that laying the ground work is important.

so one Q about naps then...if i just put him down and he lays there quietly for 30 min but doesnt sleep does that technically count as a NAP???

ETA..mandarine, girl i hear you...and no that's not a confession! that is what i was thinking last week re: being part time or WFH 2x a week or whatever. then i can be involved but not 24/7 involved which drives me a little crazy sometimes.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 2:29:39 PM
Author: Mandarine
uhmmm...just got done with my first day back at work (from home). And...I could get used to this.

Is that a confession?. I was able to still feed the babies and play with them a little...but walked away when it was time for naps and when they were cranky...lol. The babysitter ahs so much patience and love for them so I know they are in good hands!.

I had to listen to one of my project managers for like two hours...and that was painful, but now I have two napping babies, baysitter just left and my ''baby patience tank'' is still sort of full!. She emptied the dishwasher, put my bottles together, picked up the laundry and put it away...so all I have to do is wait for them to wake up and spend some time with them!

Don''t tell DH...I''m still going to tell him it was a tough day

I know not all days will be this easy (usually I''m stuck in conference calls all day!)

Mandy, I find weekends are the most grueling for me because I have Amelia the entire day (although I do enjoy it). I look forward to workdays because I can surf the web, do a little work and basically get away from my kid. Plus I swear, Amelia learns way more from the nanny than she does from me. There''s no shame in enjoying being an ADULT and not a mom.

It''s normal.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 2:32:54 PM
Author: Mara
my own personal take on why the sleep market is so huge is because i tend to think that so many people are in survival mode for so long that suddenly they wake up and the kid is 6 or 9 or 12 months and they go holy crap i don''t to do this like this for any longer. it''s kind of like weight loss. one day you are like...ENOUGH! the weight loss market is huge too.

i also personally think that people like self-help books. it''s fun to read about how you can change your life and make it better. READ ABOUT being the key words hehee. it''s so much harder to put everything into practice. and nothing is foolproof or guaranteed. it hugely depends on the parents, the situation (aka housing), the child, the schedules.

TG...yep i agree him getting ''up'' at 10 or 11 is just weird. but since now he''s started going 8-9 hours it is throwing everything off. that''s why i really want to try to move the bedtime up so he can go 8-9 hours but still wake at 5 so that Greg can feed him before work. we are used to him getting up at ''night'' anyway so the last few days of waking at 6:30, 7, 7:30 for him are weird. then we put him back down at 8:30 or whtaever and it''s morning technically but i don''t want to ''give up'' those 2-3 hours of sleep he will get from 8:30-11 that he WONT nap for during the day. make sense? but yep i hear you... maybe this morning we should have let him stay up at 8:30 instead of putting him back down. OR maybe technically this is a NAP?

it''s all so confusing. i am just thinking ''well if he can get 14-15 hours of sleep a day he is good, period.'' but since i do want to routine him soon i should start making it more strict.

the ironic thing for us is that so many people with babies J''s age have NO schedules at all. so it feels kind of weird to be the only one with such a young baby trying to schedule. i do have one friend who had her baby on a schedule at 6 weeks and she''s almost 4 months and it''s still going strong soooo. i do believe like you said DD that laying the ground work is important.

so one Q about naps then...if i just put him down and he lays there quietly for 30 min but doesnt sleep does that technically count as a NAP???

Yes and no. I also believe in detox time. Amelia can go through her afternoon nap without sleeping. But is still pretty refreshed when I go get her, 2 hours later. Sometimes it''s just nice to be away from stimulus, yanno?

Well, don''t let the fact that you''re the only one discourage ya! Not only were we the only one in our social circle of friends who had a schedule for Amelia at an early age...they had not even HEARD of such a thing and semi-mocked me. Now they see the benefits and are starting round two of their babies and I''m getting lots of questions. One of the moms just last week came over with her hubby and son and they watched me put Amelia down, then the mom grabbed the monitor to show both her DH and the son how a kid can be put down and walked away from. Her 3 year old son still has to be put to sleep by a parent sleeping with him. Their daughter who is 9 months old is being trained now and they are having fair luck.

Something to think about if anyone is thinking of having more than one child. It''s manageable whatever you do with the first. But when the second comes along, the moms I know really struggled because their first had no schedule and still needed to be soothed down for sleep/naps.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Date: 3/22/2010 12:22:04 PM
Author: Sha

RPS - Did you and your SO discuss the marriage/insurance again?

No, I decided to let it rest, which means my hormones must be settling. The ironic thing is that HE has been mentioning it more.

And related to the house hunt...

I decided to try to get us pre-approved for a mortgage since that would make house hunting a bit easier. I was really nervous about this because my ex was totally irresponsible when it came to finances, so my credit was in the toilet for a while. I''ve been very careful since we split, and the good news is that I have very little personal debt. I had a credit card 20 years ago that I ran up and then had to pay off with a loan from my grandma (who I then paid off over several months) so after that, I didn''t have another credit card until 3 years ago. Yes, I went 17 years without a credit card! A couple of years ago, I started working to rebuild my credit and now I have 2 cards -- 1 with no balance and 1 with $400 or so on it (because I just used it for my mom''s hotel room when she was here). I''m VERY careful about credit these days because I''ve wanted to buy a house for so long.

I expected that I''d be able to get a loan only with SO as the co-borrower because of my history. As it turns out, my credit is good (but not great) and his is in the toilet due to the credit card he took on as part of his divorce settlement! I (all by myself!) got approved for more than we really want to spend on a house!!

So now, I think SO is a little out of sorts over the fact that I didn''t need him in order to get financing. It doesn''t matter one bit to me -- I''m thrilled because it''s been a long road. Everyone I know owns their house, but I was stuck renting because of poor choices that I made earlier in life. I''m 42 and have never owned property, which makes me really sad. It was the one thing I really, really, really wanted to do. Now I''m beside myself knowing that we could find a house tomorrow and actually buy it. Oh, and we did find a house that''s $30K less than what we''re approved for and we both agree that it''s adorable. It has enough room, it''s right down the street from SO''s mom and it''s in a decent area.

Sorry to go on...I''m just so stinking thrilled about this!

DD, congrats on 10K!

Oh, Fiery, I think it''s so cute that Sophia is screaming! I think you''re going to have your hands full, too, but in a really good way. She will keep life interesting!

Mandarine, congrats on being back at work and that it''s working out so well! I would LOVE to have a nanny in house with the boys. It seems like you have the best of both worlds.


Random vent for the day: Why in the world are all women''s t-shirts in a medium too small for me?? I swear, I used to wear a small. Now, a medium is super tight and only serves to accentuate the fat rolls.

Please, clothing manufacturers, stop messing with sizes!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 2:42:35 PM
Author: rockpaperscissors67



Random vent for the day: Why in the world are all women''s t-shirts in a medium too small for me?? I swear, I used to wear a small. Now, a medium is super tight and only serves to accentuate the fat rolls.

Please, clothing manufacturers, stop messing with sizes!!

I had the same problem, but realized it was *me* who had gotten fat.

 

[ChinaCat]

HI!

Sorry I''ve been MIA. I''ve had one of those weeks (last week). No way I can comment on everyone, but a few quick hits:

ANCHOR- What a chilling story. So so sorry you (and Jacob) had to go through that. Good news is that he''s ok. I would be furious if I was you.

FIERY- I think it''s normal, unfortunately just part of the mommy territory. I am not an anxious person by nature so I am totally thrown by how many things I can imagine to worry about. This is silly and I wasn''t going to mention it, but if it makes you feel better, here you go. So I was nursing O before bedtime last night and he pulled off and just quietly STARED at me with the sweetest expression on his face, like he was memorizing it and (this is the crazy part) like he was telling me good-bye and was giving me one last chance to tell him I loved him. OBVIOUSLY that''s crazy, but he''s been sick this weekend and it just felt like this perfect moment, and that he was really sicker than I thought and something was going to happen to him when he went to sleep. I had to restrain myself from going into his room all night (but I did check the video monitor OFTEN). Now you had a REAL reason to be anxious, but point is that I think we all go a bit crazy with the what if''s. Oh, and btw, I just took an infant CPR class and they said if the babies are able to breathe or even wheeze while choking to NOT pat their back but let them try to work it out themselves. Only hit their backs if they aren''t breathing at all. It can be counter-productive to them be able to swallow it. NOT trying to freak you out, I am just passing on info. I was surprised by that, and also not sure that I could sit there and do nothing if O started choking, but that''s what the nurse said. Also- O screams ALL THE TIME. Mostly happy screams, but oh lord is he screechy. Funny thing is yesterday he was screaming bloody murder (all b/c I was changing his diaper) and I just screamed back (not too loud and just imitating him) and he thought that was so funny and died laughing.

MANDARINE- Personally I would hold off on solids. Unless pedi has a reason to start early, it''s just a huge mess and the POOP! OH the poop. So gross.

E B- Hey there! So the move went well???? Love to see Henry!

Viz- ELEVEN???????? Something''s not right. Ditto on what does your ped say???? You poor poor girl. Have you tried CIO- just out of curiousity, how long he cries for if you don''t go in there? I wish I had some advice. I did want to say that I definitely tanked O up before bed every night, even if that meant feeding him within 1.5 or 2 hours at the end of the day. And O ate close to 30 oz at that age and was still in the 5th percentile or weight- he''s just a skinny guy.

AFM- Double-whammy of me getting really sick last Thursday (sinusitus PLUS a return of the lovely mastitis equaled me not being able to get of bed on Friday) AND O teething really badly and having his first cold. FUN weekend at my house. O was Mr. Fussypants all weekend. Luckily he still slept well, only getting up 1x each night b/c he was in pain, but after a little Tylenol he went back down. But the rest of the day, oy. I kept thinking of Viz and Mandarine and have new respect for you- it''s so draining.

In O news, he is definitely crawling, but his most preferred mode is this hybrid crawl/hop/scoot motion that''s hilarious. He has been sitting from his tummy for awhile now so we had to lower the crib b/c he was dangerously close to pulling up. He stands around the coffee table (but doesn''t pull up on his own yet) and is obsessed with the computer, remote, and blackberry. His fave thing to do is pound on the laptop. And oh yes, he has started throwing temper tantrums when you take something away. Lord, the drama on this boy. We were sitting on my bed this morning and he threw himself down like he was Blanche DuBois, I half expected him to drape his hand across his forehead. My little attention-seeking Leo is showing his colors.

But he''s so darn CUTE.

Work is bleh, I am behind b/c I was sick. My birthday is tomorrow which I am not looking forward to for the first time. I like the age I am, no need to get any older. Good news is we are off to Napa this weekend.

 

[E B]

Date: 3/22/2010 2:47:36 PM
Author: ChinaCat

In O news, he is definitely crawling, but his most preferred mode is this hybrid crawl/hop/scoot motion that's hilarious. He has been sitting from his tummy for awhile now so we had to lower the crib b/c he was dangerously close to pulling up. He stands around the coffee table (but doesn't pull up on his own yet) and is obsessed with the computer, remote, and blackberry. His fave thing to do is pound on the laptop. And oh yes, he has started throwing temper tantrums when you take something away. Lord, the drama on this boy. We were sitting on my bed this morning and he threw himself down like he was Blanche DuBois, I half expected him to drape his hand across his forehead. My little attention-seeking Leo is showing his colors.

But he's so darn CUTE.

Hey, lady!

I L'edOL at so much of the above because O sounds so much like Henry. H is completely fascinated with remotes (and other things he isn't allowed to touch, of course) and when you take something away, if he's in a "mood," he'll throw his head back and wail. SO dramatic.

 

[Mandarine]

PSA: FDA stops use of Glaxos'' Rotavirus vaccine!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/22/AR2010032201897.html

Scary stuff when something comes up about vaccines!. I just called my Dr and the boys got Rotateq, but you guys should check what your Drs use!

ChinaI''m waiting until 6 months (maybe even longe! haha). They have no interest in food so I''m not in a hurry. I was just wodnering what I should start with when I do start!

TG Thanks! It''s funny because I felt sort of guilty! I''m used to not having a second for me!!!

...and the boys are up!!!!

 

[fieryred33143]

RPS: That''s great about the mortgage pre-loan! When my shirts weren''t fitting, I''d look into the mirror and very proudly yell"well, I just pushed a baby out of my ladybits...so take that!" It''s almost 9 months later. I still say it but in a very tiny voice lol.

China-Thanks for that heads up! I didn''t know that. It''s always a reaction to just pat the back but we won''t do that next time. We''re going to our CPR class this week with MIL. Part of me appreciates her quick reaction to things. Another part of me worries that she won''t calm herself down enough to do what she needs to do in the event of an emergency. We''re taking a Spanish course this week for her sake and the English version of the class will be next week.

I can''t believe O is crawling! Ack they''re getting too big too fast!! That''s funny on the tantrums. Sophia hasn''t thrown herself back because she''s very much a "girl" when it comes to being daring but she does cry and then she gets this angry look on her face where she curves her eyebrows and frowns. It doesn''t go away for a while lol. She holds grudges just like I do. FI is in big trouble.

Any other moms of girls really not like dresses? We were shopping for an Easter outfit and FI kept bringing me big puffy dresses that looked awful. I wanted a cute top and jeans

. It''s not a battle I''m going to fight so for one day she''ll have to suffer in a dress haha.

 

[Sabine]

CONGRATS DD!!!! You have been SUCH a wealth of knowledge about all things baby related!

Anchor, I''m soooo sorry you had to go through that, that must have been so scary! Glad it turned out not to be meningitis thought!

Mandy, Jacks had constipation issues before we started solids, so we skipped rice and started with oatmeal and he did fine. We never did rice cereal at all, although now he eats some purees that have rice in them.

EB and China, yay for crawling! I think Jacks is really close, but not quite there yet.

Hi everyone else!

Not much new here...we''ve been having lots of fun, although I''m sleeping like crap lately even though Jacks sleeps so well. I''m hoping it''s a side affect of my new allergy meds and will get better if I switch to something else. But it''s no fun, that''s for sure.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

congrats RPS! Hope the new adorable house that is $30k less than your approval works out

 

[Mandarine]

Mara I think because I had two, I just knew NOT having a schedule was not an option for us. So they were on a schedule since VERY early on. I wanted them to eat at the same time and hopefully sleep at the same time!. They have been on a 3-hour schedule since about 5 weeks and pretty constant (7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 6:30ish...down to bed before 8pm). Naps are still sort of all over the place because they all revolve around what time they wake up. For now I care more about getting them to nap! SO their first nap is about 1.5 hours form the time they wake up...and the other naps follow (every 1.5-2 hours after waking up from the previous nap).

Now that they''ve been sick, our schedule is all out of whack and it drives me NUTS!. I feel like I can''t plan my days!. So I''m glad they are feeling better, because they are getting back on a schedule pronto!

I was always reasonably flexible..so if one baby was very hungry before it was "time" I gave them a "snack bottle (1-2oz) to hold them off until it was time and they both could eat. Obviously that''s not an issue for you, but just wanted to point out that with everything...there will be times when it doesn''t work as the schedule dictates!. The point was for us that we tried to stick to it every day...and they boys became like clockwork. It would be 3:59pm and they knew it was bottle time!!!.

Oh...also for getting distracted. Just as I always sing the same song for bedtime and to calm them down, I also give them cues that it''s time to eat. Boppy, bib, little blankie to hug = Bottle time!. As soon as I hand them their blankies or put their bibs on they start opening their mouths!. It really helps!!!. If they get distracted, I take away the bottle and give them the blankie again...then they realize "ohhh, I was eating!" and they go back to eating.

Gotta go!

 

[vizsla]

Date: 3/22/2010 2:13:56 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/22/2010 1:37:18 PM

Author: vizsla

i am a little convinced that if all babies could go to sleep with only a few weeks of training or that all babies STTN at 12 weeks then the ''get your baby to sleep'' book market wouldn''t be so huge.



but i''m telling you ladies... we''ve done it ALL. white noise, swaddle, paci, bath, lavender lotion, tanking up (or my best attempt to what c will eat), earlier bed time, consistency, putting down slightly awake blah blah blah.... and i would love to say that on the days that it''s not eleven times a night it''s only once or twice, but it''s still 7 or 8. so, yeah... yo no se. i''m still sticking with the routine b/c he goes down super easy.. it''s just the friggin waking up that''s driving me BONKERS....


i do let him cry... not like cry cry cry.. but before i go in he has to *really* let me know he needs something. the problem with letting him go (in the past for 5+mins) is when we finally *do* go in.. he has worked himself up so much that it takes another 30mins to calm him down.


bonkers.... bonkers.....

i wonder if i will have any energy ever again?

Viz, I don''t know much about your history with your baby, so I won''t comment on that. However, I think there are not only so many different type of baby personalities, but many types of PARENTING personalities. Part of the issue that is that while the baby may be ready, the parent may not be. Or vice versa. So the issue is not only the type of child, but the type of parent, and trying to get the two to get in sync is part of the challenge. That''s why there are so many baby books out there. One size does not fit all.

agreed TG. i guess my point was that if every baby was able to put themselves to sleep, say, with the baby whisper techniques - then there would be no need for any other book. and yes, it has to do with different parenting techniques, but why would you choose to have a baby CIO if they *could* STTN with some soothing and patting on the back? and what does that mean to the parents (ahem) that have tried many of the book theories out there and none have been successful (with the exception of CIO because i haven''t tried it). wouldn''t that indicate that STTN has as much to do with the personality and ability of the child as the parenting style?

fiery - c is just getting over a double ear infection .. today was his last dose of amoxicillin. who knows, he could have another one?? but the kicker is that he''s a totally happy normal baby the other 12 hrs out of the day ... he''s not ''acting'' sick, or has a temp??

i''m starting a sleep log tonight and going to set up an apt with the pedi for friday just to get her thoughts. i just want to triple quadruple check that it is indeed c''s personality and not some bigger issue.

 

[ChinaCat]

Mandarine- Yep, that's my dirty little secret as well. I miss O during the week and can't wait till the weekend...but by the time Monday morning rolls around I am VERY happy to see my nanny! Plus my nanny is so calm and good with O, and I know she gives him 100% of her undivided attention and keeps him on his schedule.

Ditto to what you said about routine. I felt so out of whack if I didn't keep O on a schedule.

RPS- Congrats on the approval! What a great feeling that must be!

DD- Congrats on being a mega poster! We are all better off having you around.

Question about weaning/BF: Ok so I stopped EBF O when he turned 6 months. I still nurse him when I can- try to first thing in the morning and last feeding before bed. So he pretty much won't eat first thing in the morning anymore so unless it's the weekend and I can wait for him, I don't nurse him and end up pumping. Then I don't feed him again until 7 or 7:30 pm. SO WHY AM I ENGORGED right now at 3 pm????? Shouldn't my supply be lessening???? I swear I have as much if not more milk than ever. I really want to drop the morning pumping but 1) am afraid of the pain of weaning, yes I'm a wimp and 2) afraid it will affect my milk supply. Any chance I can still just nurse 1x at night?

On the other hand- now I've had mastitis twice. O really doesn't seem to care about nursing- he does it happily but doesn't seem to mind if it's me or the bottle so this is really just for me. Also, I am going OOT this weekend, and then am in my sister's wedding in a few weeks and it would honestly be so nice to finally be done with all of the pumping. Since I am on antibiotics right now, seems like a good time to give it up and hopefully avoid mastitis for a THIRD time if I wait to wean.

But I'm so sad. And scared to not have the OPTION of nursing him in the middle of the night if he needs it for soothing purposes. Rarely happens, but scared of what to do if I can't calm him down- now nursing always works.

Anyhoo, that's my dilemma for the day.

ETA: Viz, I understand what you're saying. For the most part, I am in agreement with TGal and others. I think MOST babies respond well. BUT I do think there are a few "special" kiddoes that this doesn't work for. My BFF had one and she did EVERYTHING that TGal and others recommend and nada. The difference with her is that she wasn't waking up at night due to anything other than she was not feeling well or hungry. I do wonder how much temperment comes into play. Correct me if I'm wrong, but most of us that have babies that STTN early and did well on a routine were also pretty easy babies and they were amenable to the routine. Curious if anyone that had a more "special needs" baby was successful with any of these techniques????? For example, Mandarine clearly follows a schedule and has the ability to let her kids CIO- but they still wake up to eat and whatever. By the "book", her boys should be STTN. But obviously they aren't ready yet. I don't know, just pondering. Would be interested if anyone that had a more difficult child could chime in.

This is NOT to say that I don't believe routine and consistency and all of that isn't worth it, especially when the kids get older. But as far as STTN and younger babies, I do think it's a matter of consistency, luck and temperment.

I mean, I used the sleep nazi book so clearly I believe in routine. Why can't I remember the name?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 4:07:58 PM
Author: vizsla

Date: 3/22/2010 2:13:56 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/22/2010 1:37:18 PM

Author: vizsla

i am a little convinced that if all babies could go to sleep with only a few weeks of training or that all babies STTN at 12 weeks then the ''get your baby to sleep'' book market wouldn''t be so huge.



but i''m telling you ladies... we''ve done it ALL. white noise, swaddle, paci, bath, lavender lotion, tanking up (or my best attempt to what c will eat), earlier bed time, consistency, putting down slightly awake blah blah blah.... and i would love to say that on the days that it''s not eleven times a night it''s only once or twice, but it''s still 7 or 8. so, yeah... yo no se. i''m still sticking with the routine b/c he goes down super easy.. it''s just the friggin waking up that''s driving me BONKERS....


i do let him cry... not like cry cry cry.. but before i go in he has to *really* let me know he needs something. the problem with letting him go (in the past for 5+mins) is when we finally *do* go in.. he has worked himself up so much that it takes another 30mins to calm him down.


bonkers.... bonkers.....

i wonder if i will have any energy ever again?

Viz, I don''t know much about your history with your baby, so I won''t comment on that. However, I think there are not only so many different type of baby personalities, but many types of PARENTING personalities. Part of the issue that is that while the baby may be ready, the parent may not be. Or vice versa. So the issue is not only the type of child, but the type of parent, and trying to get the two to get in sync is part of the challenge. That''s why there are so many baby books out there. One size does not fit all.

agreed TG. i guess my point was that if every baby was able to put themselves to sleep, say, with the baby whisper techniques - then there would be no need for any other book. and yes, it has to do with different parenting techniques, but why would you choose to have a baby CIO if they *could* STTN with some soothing and patting on the back? and what does that mean to the parents (ahem) that have tried many of the book theories out there and none have been successful (with the exception of CIO because i haven''t tried it). wouldn''t that indicate that STTN has as much to do with the personality and ability of the child as the parenting style?

fiery - c is just getting over a double ear infection .. today was his last dose of amoxicillin. who knows, he could have another one?? but the kicker is that he''s a totally happy normal baby the other 12 hrs out of the day ... he''s not ''acting'' sick, or has a temp??

i''m starting a sleep log tonight and going to set up an apt with the pedi for friday just to get her thoughts. i just want to triple quadruple check that it is indeed c''s personality and not some bigger issue.

First, I think if one is trying many or every sleep theory book out there, that''s part of the problem because I do think consistency is key. And as there are many people who have a problem with consistency pre-baby, they will also, if we were to be really honest, not have it in them post baby. Nothing wrong with that, but it is what it is.

If I had all the answers to your questions, I''d be rich! For me personally, I would have chosen to use CIO earlier on if Amelia did not STTN because I believe that a well rested family is a KEY component to a happy family, a happy marriage and happy individuals. This is my own personal belief. Yes, if patting and soothing worked, I would try that first, but I''m not going to do it for month after month after month because it tends to be exhausting, and at some point, ineffective. I also believe that CIO isn''t going to cause the kid to become some kind of detached person in need of psychological help. I don''t see anything wrong with a baby crying for awhile if he''s a bit older. I also believe that CIO does work.

Therefore since I don''t have any issue with CIO as a training technique, IF my baby doesn''t have the personality to figure out STTN on his own by 4-6 months, for the sake of the family''s better well being, I am going to use CIO. Does that make sense?

Perhaps it sounds selfish for some. But use the moms here on PS who have used CIO and have had their kids on schedules and sleeping early (not that there is anything wrong with the ones who haven''t, as there are a few happy cosleepers here) as an example. It''s done, everyone''s sleeping, and time to move on to bigger and better things like eating, mobility, whatever. They aren''t suffering from exhaustion, have begun to spend more quality times with their DHs, and can work in daily activities much easier because life is routine.

Everyone has their own threshold of what they can take. Sooner or later, sleep will happen. I admit, my threshold was low.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/22/2010 4:17:50 PM
Author: ChinaCat
.

ETA: Viz, I understand what you''re saying. For the most part, I am in agreement with TGal and others. I think MOST babies respond well. BUT I do think there are a few ''special'' kiddoes that this doesn''t work for. My BFF had one and she did EVERYTHING that TGal and others recommend and nada. The difference with her is that she wasn''t waking up at night due to anything other than she was not feeling well or hungry. I do wonder how much temperment comes into play. Correct me if I''m wrong, but most of us that have babies that STTN early and did well on a routine were also pretty easy babies and they were amenable to the routine. Curious if anyone that had a more ''special needs'' baby was successful with any of these techniques????? For example, Mandarine clearly follows a schedule and has the ability to let her kids CIO- but they still wake up to eat and whatever. By the ''book'', her boys should be STTN. But obviously they aren''t ready yet. I don''t know, just pondering. Would be interested if anyone that had a more difficult child could chime in.

This is NOT to say that I don''t believe routine and consistency and all of that isn''t worth it, especially when the kids get older. But as far as STTN and younger babies, I do think it''s a matter of consistency, luck and temperment.

I mean, I used the sleep nazi book so clearly I believe in routine. Why can''t I remember the name?

China, I DO believe that temperment has something to do with it. If it didn''t, we''d have to throw that whole nature thing out the window, and obviously that doesn''t make sense. Two kids can be raised similarly and respond entirely differently. My friend has triplets and it''s already evident that they respond to things in entirely different ways.

Like your BFF, there will be some babies that just don''t have it in them. But I do believe that is the exception, and not the rule, and sometimes those babies will real medical issues causing them discomfort and unhappiness. 11 times waking up in a night doesn''t sound right to me. The key is to find out what''s going on, and that takes a lot of work. I also have said it here before, but a guilty mom is worse off than a sleep deprived one, so it''s really really important to do the best you can and cut yourself a break.

The reason I decided to use HSHHC was that my BFF managed two kids beautifully on it, and her SIL did all three kids that way. My BFF''s first child was extremely spirited (and still can be today). She has the temperment of her father...quite moody! She was a screaming infant - getting pissed off EVERY time her diaper was changed (up until I observed other kids, I thought this was normal). Oddly, she handled the CIO better and earlier than her brother, who had the opposite temperment. My BFF felt like he wasn''t ready until he was a full 4 months (going into month 5) while his sister was trained at 3 months.

To answer your question specifically, I do think Amelia was a fairly easy baby, but I was actively into finding sleep solutions from the get-go...so what came first? And her personality now is pretty darn feisty...much more than her first year. She''s not yet a drama queen, but my "easy" baby doesn''t mean she''s a totally laid back kid. She''s not. She''s just manageable now because she knows I don''t mess around. And I had my fair share of her not being too happy to go down for naps, skipping them, and having meltdowns in the early weeks of her life, believe me; that''s why I hit a breakdown mental wall at the 5 week mark...I didn''t think I was cut out for motherhood, and as I said, my threshold is low! I was entirely dependent on the swing for the first several weeks and watched in fear as she started to look too big for it!

So because I saw my BFF''s tempermental child do well under the HSHHC tips, I figured that it could be done with any baby short of a monster.

I''m painting in broad strokes here, I know, but it was just my mentality going in.

 

[steph72276]

Okay girls, I need your ideas on keeping the baby entertained throughout the day. E just wants to sleep all day long. I put him on the play mat, but he gets tired of that quickly. If I put him in the swing he drifts right off. I can''t seem to keep him awake for more than an hour at a time. The good news is that he slept last night from 9:30 until 6am with only one wake up to eat at 2. Hope everyone is having a good day!

 

[fieryred33143]

I believe Jacks was 'high needs' in that he had reflux and had to be carried for all naps and night sleep. Sabine was able to get him to STTN with CIO and a schedule was key for him.

Sophia was and still is a really easy baby. We had no reflux issues except for the time I thought she had reflux and it turns out I was just overfeeding her.

She does really well on the EASY routine although we don't really follow a "schedule" because I can't. I'm not at home. I know that when she's with MIL during the day, her "schedule" is very different from that of the weekend. The main reason is that when it comes to sleep, she knows she can't trick her way out of it with me like she could with MIL. Sophia has her cues when she's about ready to go to sleep and that's when I put her in the jumperoo so that she gets that last bit of energy out. Then she has cues when it's time to put her down for a nap. If you miss it, you end up with a crying baby. When I miss the timeframe, I stick with the rocking and force her to sleep because I KNOW she's tired. MIL takes it as she's not tired and leaves her awake mainly because she rather try to entertain her to get her to stop crying than force her to sleep. Thursday and Friday of last week MIL said she only napped once in the morning but I know that Sophia needs her two naps. She's not ready to give them up.

Anyway as I mentioned, we're on the 4 hour EASY or sometimes EAESY routine but we don't have set times. I paid attention yesterday because I know we're on the conversation of sleep. This was her "schedule":

9am wake, bottle, play
11:15 nap
1:30 wake, cereal+fruit, bottle, play
4:30 bath, bottle, nap
6:30 wake, dinner
8pm bottle, bed
7:30am wake, bottle

The times are never the same but she's always ready for a nap roughly 2/2.5 hours after she wakes and is now taking a bottle every 3 to 4.5 hours.

I also pay a lot of attention to how many oz she has had in the day. I know that she needs at the very minimum 26oz to STTN. I try to get in 30. Some days she only gets 24 and I anticipate her waking up really early the next morning.

ETA: I guess what we do would be called a "schedule." I just get stuck on that word because sometimes her naps are in a car while we're going somewhere or in a stroller while we're shopping.

 

[Dreamer_D]

OK, no one is gonna like what I am going to say, but from observing my friends who have kids who still don''t STTN at 1.5 or 2 years or more... I think that inconsistency is the culprit. Some of the methods that get talked about here take a week two weeks or longer to work. And in that week, you have to be a total hard ass and stick to your guns, and sit there sweating while your baby cries or be up all nigth doing to pick up put down. And on and on. Of course temperament interacts. That is why baby A starts sleeping through the night on his own and baby B need to be trained. That is why baby C responds to the methods in one night and baby D takes 8 days. But I think that teaching your kid to sleep is HARD. It takes patience, and stamina, and willpower, and faith that what you are doing is right. And all sorts of things that are hard to muster.

There are a million diet books not because dieting doesn''t work, but because actually following the program is hard

Some diets are stupid, for sure, like some baby sleep books, but in the end it is possible to lose weight for anyone. And it is *possible* for any parent to have a baby who STTN. It all depends on their choices.

And lest I seem cold or superiour, I did not want to do what I knew was necessary either, and thus had a baby waking 4 times a night until he was 9 months old. That was the right time for me to bite the bullet and use CIO. Other people don''t want to use such methods, and that''s ok too. With baby number two I will probably also wait until 9 months, but time will tell.

 

[vizsla]

for the most part we *are* very consistent - which is why it is so extra frustrating when people say things should work if you are consistent and it doesn''t. if it was just a matter of giving it 2 or 3 weeks and the baby learns XYZ about sleeping then i would say fine... but i could give each theory a try for months and it wouldn''t be until c is ready to STTN that he would.

all day it''s eat awake nap - more often than not these days he wakes up from a nap and doesn''t want to eat for another hour or so. repeat.

at night it''s bath (every other night) pjs, diaper, white noise, book, bottle, swaddle, paci, cuddle, bed.

cry 30mins later
PU cuddle pat soothe back down to sleep

cry 45mins later
PU cuddle pat soothe back down to sleep

cry 45mins later
PU *feed* pat soothe back down to sleep

repeat cycle

this is where i don''t see it as a problem of consistency - and more as a personality ''flaw'' ;P

thoughts?