PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Mara]

lol PG re : she who must not be crossed. one of my good friends said that having a baby has made me 'soft'. i don't know if J would agree!! esp when i try CIO from time to time. the one thing it def has done to me is made me really upset when i see anything relating to kids getting hurt or dying like in movies or on the news--we watched some movie the other night and i was like jeez we need to see a romantic comedy instead.

and re: the adorable babies... it is cute when people think your kid is cute BUT when they can't stop staring at them or won't go away is when it gets weird. but you know, some people just LOVE babies. i was never one of them and i really still am not (though i will def engage w/someone who has a baby or say hello) so i don't get the whole 'let me fawn over your kid for 5min' at all.

triptophan fail last nite. J was up THREE times needing to be rolled over. and once just laying there fussing loudly. i don't know if it's teeth or if we are truly creating a monster by going in and rolling him over each time. maybe he wakes up and goes hey i need to see mommy! let me cry. i almost feel like we might be needing to get to CIO soon IF mr man's brain doesn't kick in and tell him 'hey dodo, you can roll over yourself you know'...but then the other side of his brain might say 'but can you find the paci...??' aww heck. the only reason i can justify walkinng in and rolling him over is that he goes right back to sleep, it's not even a full 30 seconds i am in there. but i don't want to be doing that when he is 2 years old !

oh yeah and it's time to lower the crib. i just gave him his bottle and put him back down and i can see him lifting up on his arms and trying to take down the breathable bumper. if it was the PBK one i can totally see him trying to climb on it at some point.

mtj...wow 111 degrees! and um we need a new pic of Miss J and her trumpette socks.

sha... i think that the desert vajayjay is a normal thing after birth for a while. i noticed that after AF returned that things def got back to normal down there. i think you are still bf'ing? so maybe after you have AF things will be more normal?

btw i got my aden and anais stuff from diapers.com. on babysteals someone said that the stuff that diapers.com sold was not as high quality as other places and that is why it is cheaper but when it came i compared it and the quality seemed the same. when i washed it all up it was just as soft as my other A&A stuff. so not sure what that person was talking about but i am so jazzed i got a good deal. so thanks ginger for mentioning it, one good turn deserves another, aka baby gap sale!!

and to all the mommas who did some damage yesterday at BG's online sale, you're welcome. i love enabling!!! if it can't be diamonds, baby clothes is a close second.

 

[jcrow]

re: fawning - has only happened once or twice. i totally give off the don't talk to me vibe. hubs doesn't. funny because when he's by himself with em [like if i'm in the fitting room] people strike up huge convos with him and say how cute she is, etc. when it' just me and em, not so much. haha.

re: dryness - at my 6 week followup post birth, the doc gave me a script for the dryness should it occur. i've never had to fill it though. but that means it's super common post birth. during the 6 weeks after birth, my libido went through the roof. lovely, dovey hormones to blame? now i'm back to normal in that department.

 

[anchor31]

Tao - Congrats! It think you're insane, but congrats!

Sha - Erm, you're not alone. And I hoped it would come back when I stopped BFing, but it hasn't come back yet, and I stopped 2 months ago. I have a lot of dryness too, and I know this is pretty of TMI, but I'm really uncomfortable with having my boobs touched now. We broke the dry spell when J was 4 months, but almost 3 months later it hasn't happened again. My knees hurt (post-partum arthritis flare up, joy!), and that last time was really uncomfortable so... blah. I know DH is getting frustrated though. This is so sad!

 

[Puppmom]

Ladies, can I chime in on this whole libido thing? I plan to BF and I'm SO SCARED that our sex life will never be the same. We got a book at our BF class called "So That's What They're For!" and, all I could think was, that is NOT what they're for! In addition to my worries about my own libido, I'm worried that DH will see me differently. I went from all *his* to a baby making machine, then a baby incubating machine and, in a few weeks, a baby feeding machine. You guys think there's any way to prevent issues in that department?

 

[jcrow]

pupp - i know i was worried about that too. that he'd see me as a mom and not the cute thing he married. but in my case, he did see me differently, but in a more positive way. it seems that that area of our lives improved, actually!

 

[Mara]

re: being viewed diff by hubs esp after birth visual... thankfully he def didn't see me just as a mom and not a woman anymore. It took a little while but I was the one batting him away with a stick--esp about BF'ing, for whatever reason the idea of bb's being useful was sexy, was like HELLO trying to FEED YOUR CHILD, this is not a turn on. men!

jcrow funny you say that about the hubs being all friendly. Greg LOVES the attn he gets with the baby. anytime he has him, people are all falling all over themselves to coo over them both. once we were at a festival and i went to get a hot dog and came back to G and J at a polish dog booth and like 5 women were congregated near him all touching the baby and fawning. i was like OMG really? i leave for 2 min...

 

[MonkeyPie]

jcrow funny you say that about the hubs being all friendly. Greg LOVES the attn he gets with the baby. anytime he has him, people are all falling all over themselves to coo over them both. once we were at a festival and i went to get a hot dog and came back to G and J at a polish dog booth and like 5 women were congregated near him all touching the baby and fawning. i was like OMG really? i leave for 2 min...

When I got on my feet after the baby came DH kept asking if he could take the baby strolling at the mall. When I finally asked why he said something along the lines of, "DUH, a baby makes you a chick magnet!" He's such a guy.

 

[meresal]

Ohh... you can definitely add my husband to the list of attention LOVERS. LOL.

Libido: In the three months since birth, we have DTD 3 times. I don't really want to do it, or much enjoy it; it's more of a just get this over with kind of feeling. lol.
Body image: My husband's view of my body has not changed... however, my OWN view of my body has. I have a feeling that has a bit to do with the Libido problem. It's weird to think of having sex again, after all that my body "did". It is better, since our anniversary was this weekend though. Maybe I just needed a bit of a kick start?

 

[drk]

If anyone thinks they've had a dry spell, try nearly 17 months. DH doesn't seem overly put off by it. First we weren't so keen during my IVF cycles and the crazy stressful exam time in between them, then it was early pg and we didn't want to risk bleeding and freaking out, and then just as we were thinking about trying things out, along came my contractions and I was told to be on pelvic rest. I'm pretty sure the no libido thing is due to the lack of hormones while breastfeeding. I'm more curious to try it out to see how things feel post baby, but not because I've got any real kind of drive.
So we bought K the Baby Einstein jumperoo today. On the lowest setting, her feet don't even touch the ground. Maybe it's because she's so light still that the springs don't stretch out enough to get the seat low enough to the ground.
The nanny search is on now. We posted our job offer on a website on Sun, and already have about 40+ emails about the position. I'm hoping that tomorrow we'll be able to go through them, make a spreadsheet, and compare people to decide who we want to call for a phone interview. Not quite sure what criteria we'll be using. And although we asked for a resume, some people didn't send more than an "I'm interested" email. We don't want to leave someone who could be great out of the running just because they don't have a resume to send out. Any tips?
I hope K starts to sleep better again soon. Yesterday and today's naps haven't been going so well, and she was so grumpy and crying before her post-lunch nap today because she was overtired from this morning. Poor girl.
And anyone who asks about K when we're out and about inevitably asks how old our "he" is. I don't bother to correct them at this point. Serves us right for using unisex clothes!

Sorry for the me post. I've been busy and tired, and am at work on call right now. Loved all the BPF pics as usual though - we have some gorgeous babes on this thread!

 

[Sabine]

drk, we used to put one of dh's huge medical textbooks under jacks when he first got his jumperoo, then we graduated to just a few blankets.

re, libido...I think my libido is actually better than it's been in a while due to not being on hormonal bc (I was for 10 years prebaby), but we still don't do it very much. For us, it's mostly dh's insane schedule and hours and him being exhausted, added to the fact that I feel gross about my weight/stretchmarks and need to feel extra wanted instead of neglected, and well, we just don't do it much. I know dh would appreciate it if I initiated things more and that I would probably enjoy it to, but it's more of an emotional problem for me, and he just doesn't have it in him so for now I just hope things get better in the future.

Dh's parents and sister get here for a visit tomorrow for Jackson's bday, and then his brother and my mom get here friday...I"m soooo excited!

 

[jcrow]

psa - not sure if it's everywhere, but the pampers box [like the 96 count baby dry or the big box of swaddlers] at cvs is on sale. it's reg. 23.99 but you save 2 dollars if you have a cvs card. PLUS you get 10 dollars in extra bucks to spend after the purchase. i bought a box today of size 2 even though she's not in them yet. tomorrow my cousin is going to get another box in her size now. you can only purchase it one time per cvs card account.

 

[Sha]

Thanks for chiming in about the libido issues, girls. It's good to know I"m not alone! But sucky to hear that so many of us have the same issues. I did a search on google for Breastfeeding and libido and it seems there's definitely a hormonal connection. Two of the hormones responsible for sexual arousal - estrogen and testosterone are typically low during nursing - leading to low sex drive and lack of lubrication. Things SHOULD bounce back after weaning, they say (sorry to hear that hasn't been the case for you yet, anchor ). I I hope so! Hopefully things get better for all of us soon.

 

[mtjoya]

Mara-I need to find a pic with J with her trump socks hehe...But this is a pic when Daddy and her were hanging out poolside while Mommy and both grandmas were at the Ana Barabara concert at Buffalo Bills, next door to Primm.

Yep, Ladies mid Death Valley it was 111 degrees! Damn!!! I couldn't believe it!

Haha! I noticed in the pic that Dh just put her hairclip all messy. I will make a little "palm tree" using a rubber band and then put on the hair clip. But, he just tacked it on! LOL.

 

[Mara]

...few days shy of 6mo!

so J had his 6mo appt yesterday (a few days early I guess) and he is 16.5lbs and 27inches. i was really surprised as i thought he would be more like 18lbs and closer to 28 inches. our old school pedi said we should be giving him meals 2x a day now if not 3x and that he is probably hungry. he doesn't seem to want to drink more liquids, it's a struggle to get him to drink his liquids now and he only takes 25-27oz anyway in a day so i def think more solids is the way to go. he is 30% weight and 75% height and 74% for head. i am ok with him being 30% weight but i think pedi wants him closer to 50% which is what he was last time.

so yesterday i had my mom give him solids at 10:30am (i said 11 but she said he was hungry at 10:30) and then i gave him solids again at 6:30pm and he ate 26oz of liquid through the day.

oh and she gave us fluoride drops to start giving him. i guess we just put it in his bottle?

and he got his shots which he took like a champ, only a few screams and he seemed ok through the evening--i dosed him with generic tylenol. his sleeping is pretty good still but he still wakes up 2x a night moaning to be rolled over. any PS moms have suggestions on what i should be doing? right now i am just walking in and rolling him over, giving him paci and that's it. and he is fine for another 4-5 hours. but it's about 2x a night consistently and i am just waiting for him to realize he can roll himself over, he sleeps on his stomach for heavens sake but when he wakes up he goes WOAH and just freaks out. i have tried CIO intermittently but the kid has the stamina of superman for screaming, crying, and moaning and drives US insane long before he passes out (if he even does). plus our house is tiny. anyway, i am just going in there and flipping and binking him for my own sanity because i am working and need my sleep, but i am wondering if at some point i will need to put my foot down and get a pillow for over the head and make him just deal. thoughts??? THX.

oh and in other work related news... my boss talked to me yest and he might be open to me doing a flex schedule from home but staying PT. i would still get nanny care but be able to work potentially 2 days at home and 3 days in the office which would allow me more time with J which is what i want. i am super excited about doing this because my company is not really very 'friendly' with options like this but my boss told me i'm too valuable to just let go if we are able to try to make it work which is sweet (but i know i'm replaceable, just HARDER to replace!) and he would only do it if its a finite period of time like 4-6 months. i figure i will say lets try for 6 but review it in 4 and see where we are at. if nothing else this will allow me more time with J but also to continue pulling in 100% of my salary which means i can continue saving really aggressively so that if i DO have to leave--i am way more prepared.

mtj...i love J! she's sooo cute. arranged marriage?

 

[curiousaboutdiamonds]

PG- Thanks! I never thought of doing a dream feeding. I think tanking her up is the way to go. C is adorable so I can see why people would fawn over her. And I know what you mean, fawn, but no need to engage in lengthy conversations.

China- Yesterday my good girl was being extra fussy and wanted to be nursed, so her feedings were half nursing and half bottles. I attempted to give her 2 bigger bottles in her last 2 feedings, but instead nursed her for the 2nd to last feeding and then gave her a 5.5oz bottle at 7. She had a hard time falling asleep, sleeping on and off from 7:30-9:00, then slept until 9, but then woke up at 12. DH fed her a 5.5oz bottle and she slept till 5:45. At least she's going about 5 hrs in between feedings at night, so that's a start. We'll try the 6oz like you suggested tonight to see what happens. Thanks for your suggestion!

Mara- J wanting to WALK already!?! He might just skip crawling and go straight into walking. A can only flip tummy to back and DH is trying to show her to flip the other way, and I'm like, hey, she'll have the rest of her life to flip and move around, she'll do it when she's ready. Can you tell I'm trying to keep her immobile as much as possible?

Meresal- Thanks! I know what you mean about the "enjoy it" comment. I definitely am enjoying this immobile stage now because I have family and friends with older babies who are crawling and walking and they are ALL OVER the place. How did C sleep the other night with the late nap? I would've done what you did and let him sleep.

Sha- I'm in the same boat. I can't wait until things are back to "normal".

Drk- My A is wearing PINK, has a PINK blankie covering her, and people have come up to me and say, "oh how cute, how old is HE?" People are weird. Good luck with the nanny search. Hope K's naps get better.

Mtjoya- How CUTE is Miss J! She looks so relaxed.

Mara- Sorry to hear about the wake-ups. No advice here as my LO's sleep is still all over the place. on the flex work schedule. Seems like a great solution to the work/home problem.

Question: When is your LO up for the day? Aly usually wakes up at 6:30/7:00, but today she woke up at 5:45, refused to take the paci, so I gave her a bottle (she seemed hungry), and she went back to sleep at 6:15, until 8:00. Does anyone have any suggestion on what I should have done differently?

 

[ChinaCat]

Will be back later to catch up, but just saw this on ohdeedoh and couldn't resist sharing.

Now, I think it's adorable, but I also sort of hate the mom as I had zero energy to do something like this when I was on maternity leave! So creative though.

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/inspir ... ion-122956

 

[Mara]

ally.. J is really inconsistent with his wakeups. Most times it's between 7:15 and 8am but some days it's 6:30am or 9am! Today was 9am but 3 days ago was 6:30am. I just let him sleep as long as he can usually unless I have to get into the office.

CC that is SO SO SO cute. i love the godzilla one and the fact she can do that with balloons and a sleeping baby! HAHA.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Haha! I noticed in the pic that Dh just put her hairclip all messy. I will make a little "palm tree" using a rubber band and then put on the hair clip. But, he just tacked it on! LOL.

He's a guy, haha! At least he did it!

And omg, how cute is she!!! I love all those rolls on her thighs, I just want to eat her up!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Ally, that's a tough one! You can control if your baby seems to sleep too late (I recently adopted a goal of waking Claire between 6:45 [ha!] and 7:30 each morning), but not if she gets up too early. But since she went back to sleep until 8, maybe you just adjust everything else back an hour for that day?

Claire has suddenly gotten mobile. She's not crawling, and she's not even really scooting, but now she can move 5 to 8 feet in just a couple of minutes by leaning forward and then repositioning herself and then doing it again. Aargh! Now I realize I can no longer leave her anywhere and go to the bathroom or down in the basement and trust that she's too immobile to get herself into any trouble! Life as I know it is over!

China, I do think those pictures are cute, but what I am wondering is 1) who has all of those things lying around the house? and 2) isn't it a little creepy to do that every day to your sleeping baby? I mean, I can see doing it a few times for special photo shoots, but making it a habit to move and dress and reposition your baby day after day during naptime? That woman needs to take up cupcake making or something!

 

[ljmorgan]

Mara -- I do think that most of the A+A stuff on diapers.com is their cheaper line (not the same quality.) I say this because one time I e-mailed A+A to complain about shrinking/quality of one pack that I bought earlier this year, and the service rep suggested perhaps I had bought one of their special lines made for Target or BuyBuyBaby.com or other made for store lines. Here is what she said "If the blanket is smaller I would believe that it was a made for store brand, such as Target or Buy Buy Baby. There is a difference between the boutique line and the made for store brand. The boutique brand is softer because the weave is different, the swaddles are bigger and the patterns are different." The A+A blankets that I bought from diapers.com ARE thinner than my boutique ones and are not as soft, but I still like them just fine. I did notice that the prints available on A+A's own site are different than the ones offered at diapers.com and Target. I think the diapers.com A+A stuff is still good quality and a great deal.

 

[mtjoya]

LOL...Thanks ladies!

Mara-You are so cute! hehe! I love J too! hehe!

I don't feel so great today. I hate this hot weather! I have been running to the bathroom every 5 mins.

 

[Lanie]

Hello mamas!!! I lurk here a lot and get scared, then go back to the preggo thread! Hahaha! I was hoping you could answer a logistical issue for me regarding the first 2-3 months...

I plan on having the baby sleep in a pack and play with the bassinnet attachment in our room for the first x amount of months, rather than the crib. Obviously DH sleeps in bed with me. Downstairs and pretty far away is the nursery where the dresser/changing table will be. It's fine for the waking hours, but I don't envision myself tredging downstairs to feed him/change his diaper, then up again in the middle of the night.

So for those of you that did this same setup, did you have a little diaper station in your bedrooms? I would like to change the baby right there in the pack and play, but don't want to wake up DH. Does this make sense? The other option would be to take the baby right out into the living room, which is close to our bedroom, so if I chose not to change him/feed him in the bedroom, should I take him out there? If I did this, I would need a diapering station out there then, right? This probably seems like a dumb question and you guys will probably say that this is the least of my worries at that point, but my DH and I don't know what to do about it!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Lanie, sorry that we are scaring you, hee hee! We had Claire in our bedroom in an Arm's Reach Cosleeper for the first 4 weeks. We slept with a soft light on (we put a lamp with a 40 watt bulb on the floor between the wall and my dresser and then we hung a dark towel in front ) so we could see Claire but still sleep. If you'll have a similar lighting situation or your husband won't wake up if you turn on the light, then I'd say you could do a diaper station in the bedroom, but it'd probably be easier to do it out in the living room where you can make more noise and turn on the light fully to make sure you get all the meconium or poop. Since it sounds like your living room is kind of far from the nursery, you might find this useful during the day too.

We had a PNP in the dining/living room for the first couple of months. I had a C/S so I was supposed to limit trips up and down the stairs. We used the diaper changing attachment on it when she was tiny (definitely doesn't work once baby is bigger) and brought our bathroom trashcan (with a pedal activated lid) down for easy disposing. It occurred to me that people might think it was gross that we changed diapers where we ate (DH would often leave dirty diapers on the dining room table!), but hey, it was our house, we had to do what worked for us.

One thing I'll say is that if you'll be nursing, you may want to go out into the living room anyway. Newborns can feed for 30-40 minutes at a time, and that's a long time to just sit in bed in the dark. So you might want to be out in the living room where you can read a book or watch tv. Or you may just do a side-lying nursing position in bed and drift in and out of sleep yourself if you're comfortable with this; I was too nervous when she was tiny that I would accidentally fall into a deep sleep and forget about her or crush her.

ETA: You have to figure out what works for you, but hopefully your husband can help with some of the late night diaper changes? My DH is still in charge of this!

On that note, I'll add that DH continue to figure out how to balance and compromise. We have come up with a gone all day on the weekend to a bike race = take PG out to a nice dinner formula. My sister likened it to her own "sleep in/foot massage compromise of 2008."

DH got an email this week from an acquaintance whose wife just entered her second trimester. The email said, "Wow! It looks like you get to ride [mountain bike, etc.] all the time! I'm really scared I'll never get to ride again. How do you do it?" DH shared this with me because he was genuinely shocked that this guy would think that DH rides that much. He was like, "Dude, I never ride!" Oh DH, how skewed your perspective is! So I had to remind him that he rides at least 2x a week. He could ride more, but he also wants to play softball one night a week and go to the gym 2-3x a week. And one of his rides usually takes 5 to 9 hours of one of the weekend days. Yes, ladies, I pointed all this out. I'm happy with our arrangement; I really am. He changes all the midnight diapers. He lets me sleep in in the mornings and takes care of Claire. He does the dishes when I cook. And he cancels when I ask him to and always gives precedence to me when I make plans. It's just that his exuberance for activities cannot be contained.

So we agreed that his response to this guy should be about the theme of "balance." Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you throw out your own need to be social and physically active. However, activities that could be done simultaneously (like me going out with a girlfriend and him riding) now have to be coordinated with one another. There is only so much time in a week. You just have to strike a balance that works for you.

And so we've had two nights in a row of riding/softball, and now tonight it is my turn to go out to dinner/drinks with a girlfriend.

 

[meresal]

Lanie,

We had C in a bassinet next to the bed for 2.5 months. I just kept wipes, diapers, and a waterproof pad on my nightstand and would change him on the bed. C didn't like diaper changes so it was nice that DH would wake up and soothe the baby while I changed his diaper. It is very nice of you to want to stay quiet for your DH, but there is more than likely going to be a time or 2 that you would like the help. With a boy, mainly if you have him circumsized, the diaper changes in the beginning can take a little while, and if the baby doesn't enjoy it, it can be stressful.

I would feed the baby sitting up in bed. Sometimes I would turn on the tv, sometimes I would doze in and out, and others I would just do it in the dark. C has always fed for 15-20 minutes.

IMO, it is best not to move or over stimulate the baby when they wake in the middle of the night to eat. You dont want to give them the impression that it is time to be up. Just do what needs to be done, stay quiet, and then get them burped and laid back down. It was also easier fore me to get back to sleep if I wasn't up and moving around the house.

Nothing to be scared about. You will figure out what works for you!

BTW, Happy belated Anniversary! I posted something to you in Newlyweds, but like me, I'm sure you are never over there anymore


LOL, PG, that is too funny about your hubby thinking that he never rides. He has it made IMO! I know that my husband would definitely agree. My DH and I each get one night a week to do our activities. My DH would kill to go play golf for 5-9 hours on a Saturday!

 

[jcrow]

re: diaper stations - we have the whole kit n caboodle in her room. we also have a diaper station in our bedroom and in the beginning we had supplies in the living room too. in the beginning [and still for part of the night] em was in our room in an arm's reach co-sleeper. we butted it up against our nightstand and on the nightstand i keep diapers, cream, wipes, a change of night clothes, changing pad and a couple of burp clothes.

re: a + a - interesting about the quality being different at different places. the swaddle blankets we got were not in the stores. they are bigger than the reg. ones + they are solid white [which i LOVE!]. and just yesterday, hubs picked up an a + a sleep sack. it's solid white with green edging. i didn't see those in stores either. and it came in a box instead of just a plastic wrap baggie. i'm guessing that means it's the higher quality?

 

[curiousaboutdiamonds]

Thanks Mara and PG for your input on your LO's wake-up times. I'll have to just go by her cues. It's so hard to do that because the planner/organizer in me wants her to be on a "schedule" even though I know its unrealistic right now.

China- What cute pictures! Thanks for sharing.

Lanie- I'm not going to be of much help since we put A in her crib since day 1. I agree with PG that a station in the living room might be better. I wouldn't want DH to wake me to change her in our room and vice versa. Hope you find something that will work for you guys.

PG- for finding a balance with DH. I like your new formula. DH and I still need to find our middleground. Our problem is DH works too much.

AFM- I tried to "tank" A up with 6oz in her last bottle but she only took 4.5oz at 7pm, in and out of sleep from 7:30-8:30, woke up screaming at 8:30 and soothing, rocking, holding, bouncing didn't work, until I nursed her. She passed out from 9-3am, ate and back to sleep until 6:30. So, it's getting there.

 

[meresal]

I have to share my HUGE mommy fail...

When I go to nurse C in the middle of the night, I turn the monitor down in the bedroom for DH, in case the baby gets fussy. Well last night when I came back to bed after the 3am feeding, I climbed in and fell right back asleep. I woke up startled at 6:30 and immediately checked the monitor, only to realize that it was still turned down. C wasn't making any noise, so I didn't worry about it.

I fell back asleep and woke up again at 8. I decided to check on him and he was still sound asleep, however he had moved all the way to the corner of his crib and his blamket had been kicked all the way to the foot of his mattress, which is what he does when he wakes up in the middle of the night to eat.

Obviously he put himself back to sleep, but I still feel horrible.

 

[Mara]

PG... I was telling my hub the other day he was so lucky that his life hadn't changed much. He immediately got all puffy going 'I do things for the family!!'... and I was like of course you do. But your life is relatively unchanged. He still goes in and comes home from work almost at the same times--maybe coming home an hour earlier most days. He still goes to his symphony rehearsals and plays in his concerts, albiet about 50% of what he used to do. He still goes rowing a few times a week. For me things are very different. I have to come home earlier than I used to because I want to spend 2-3 hours with the baby before bedtime. I don't really bake, cook or make much food anymore for us-- I am too busy spending that time with J. I hardly workout--walking with the baby after work is my workout whereas I used to go to my classes like 3-4x a week. My time is really only my own when I'm at the office. I don't regret any of the changes at all, my life feels like it has way more purpose now, but it's funny because the guys I think have this perception of how their lives have changed but it's 50% of what happens for the woman if not less.

Lanie...don't be freaked out. You guys will make it work just like we all did...and so many women before you! I think you might want to change the diaper outside of the bedroom too. We didn't get a changing table, because so many moms told me not to bother. The 'living room' was our base of operations and it turned into baby central for a few months. G did not want to use our dining table or 'just change baby anywhere' so we got a $80 changing table from Amazon which we LOVE and kept it in our dining room kind of unobtrusively and kept most of the baby stuff there. Also the baby just loved to hang out there and look outside (it's near a window) and stuff too. So even if you guys set up your bedroom you might find that it works better in the LR or something. Just be flexible to change once the babe comes.

jcrow..I think that is the dreamer sleep sack. I am not really sure how to gauge the quality--we got sleep sacks from diapers.com with green edging and turtles and one with blue edging and cars and they seem great quality to me. I like that they are thinner actually because too thick and it's too hot. We have 8 A&A blankets and the quality seems the same on most of them, one pack does seem slightly thicker but I don't like it as much as it's TOO thick for me to feel comfortable to be up against his face...so we use the slightly thinner ones anyway. And they are all super soft to me. The loveys I got from Diapers.Com were SOOO soft. Softer than any of the blankets. So I dont know about the quality but I've loved everything we've bought. Oh and we have the 47x47 blankets which are the largest. The target ones are 44x44 I think.

mere if he didn't cry and just soothed himself back to sleep that is great!! I tend to not worry about J if he wakes up and does things without crying because obviously he's not upset.

So Moms... I need some help here, or advice or something. I might post this elsewhere too since I don't know how many of the older kid moms look here anymore. I posted a few days ago about J's sleeping habits lately, he still goes 12 hours but he is waking up 2-3x a night for a flip over and paci. I do it because it takes 30 seconds and it lets me sleep 8-9 hours so I am fresh for work (I am a sleep hog, it's never enough). BUT he used to sleep more consistently through those 12 hours with less wakeups. I feel like he wakes up and knows and expects us to come in and flip him so he doesn't bother to do anything himself. Like find paci or roll himself back over.

So last nite he woke earlier than normal at 11:30pm, I decided to let him CIO. The kid cried for 45 min. I watched him most of the time in the monitor, he was on belly and ended up snaking his way around the crib, rolled over a few times but consistently rolled back. He just would not give up.Finally he started falling asleep but would wake up every 15 min or so crying for a few min. He just sounded so unsettled. So I finally went in and binked him so he'd be more soothed. He slept til 3am...woke up, cried. I binked him. Woke up at 4:45. This was really unusual for him to wake up so close together so I thought maybe he is hungry. So I fed him 6oz which he guzzled like a monster, and he smelled like pee (I hate that smell) so I changed him--and found he had a small hard poo that was pretty dry and flakey. SO he may have done it at midnight when he was crying. I felt really bad at that point like he had poo and I didn't know etc...BUT he hardly ever has it so I wouldn't have guessed. And his feet were cold even though he was sleep sacked. So I gave him his blanket. He fell immediately back to sleep til 8:30am.

Should I just keep going in there 2-3x a night to check him and roll him and bink him? Or is that just enabling him to NEVER learn it on his own? I feel like also lately he doesnt' want to be put down as much during the day--is that a phase or a side effect of us coming to him consistently at night.

Also, how do you do CIO without knowing if they have poo or something? I felt so bad when I saw he had a poo and was cold. I can't always tell if he is hungry, cold, whatever. It seems like whenever I try CIO something happens and it makes me question if I want to really do it.

Anyway--looking for some advice...I used to be a total CIO advocate but my kid won't just cry for 15 min then fall asleep for 12 hours, it seems like whenever we try it it doesn't work the way we want or expect and takes forever and he just gets more and more upset. Plus he's so drooly lately I feel like he's trying to rest his face in a pile of drool which of course no one likes. I am all about creature comforts and try to think about how I'd feel if I was wet or cold and heck no I couldn't sleep.

Thoughts??? I think i f I wasn't working I'd be into a more hard core CIO thing because I could nap intermittently during the day. But I have to be up and at 'em so I tend to just want to bink him and deal with it later. BUT I don't want to be doing this at 10 months.

And J is 6mo so he should be better at self soothing now than before ideally but it seems like that's not the case. TIA!!!!

 

[Lanie]

Thanks ladies! A station in the living room seems like a good solution. Maybe I'm overly "nice" and old fashioned, but I just don't want us to be in there when DH is trying to sleep. He wouldn't get mad, but he'll be the one working and having to stay awake during the day in the beginning. The main reason I'm asking all of this is because I was questioning whether to register for a pack and play AND a little bassinnet or just the p and p.

Meresal -- that's too funny. Thanks for the shoutout. I didn't see it bc I don't really go over there anymore. And the fact that your baby went back to sleep and solved the problem sounds pretty darn good to me!

 

[ChinaCat]

Hey ladies. Quick pop-in.

LANIE- You've gotten some good advice, esp Meresal's about not stimulating the baby too much when he/she wakes up. You want to keep it "nighttime" for them. I think you'll find that you won't really know until he/she gets here, unfortunately. I know a lot of us had "plans" that quickly changed once the little one arrived! However, that being said- here was what we did. Like you, our bedroom is downstairs and O's nursery is upstairs. I planned on having him in our room for the first few weeks, either in a Moses basket or in the bassinet of the PNP. O HATED the bassinet of the PNP and screamed the whole first night we tried to have him sleep in it. Big fail. We tried the Moses basket, but honestly, it was way more of a PITA for me to try to nurse and change him in our bedroom. The first week or so when DH was home wasn't that bad, but once he went back to work I couldn't have DH up all night (he was in the middle of a trial and HAD to get sleep). We have a tv room/den upstairs right next to his nursery and I ended up pretty much living up there. It was so much easier for me to feed him on the couch (it has a long ottoman piece to it that I could stretch out on). I kept my nursing set up up there, I could nap while nursing him or quietly watch TV or surf PS in the middle of the night. His diapers and changing stuff stayed in his nursery. At first, he slept in the Moses basket right next to me and I slept in the guest bedroom (right next door). After a few weeks, I moved his moses basket into his nursery, and I slept in the guest room with a monitor. By about a month or so I was back downstairs in my own room, with the monitor. When he woke up, I just went upstairs and dealt with him up there. It was so much easier than having different bases of operation during the day and night, at least for me. If I could have figured out how to let him nurse while I stayed lying down asleep (some moms can do this), then MAYBE I would have kept him in my room, but I doubt it. He made lots of noise when he slept which meant I NEVER slept and it's really important for you to sleep while you can. Also, he just slept better in his own quiet space. If I were you, I would play it by ear. If baby comes and you realize you need something downstairs, your DH can run out and get it. You can totally change a diaper on the couch or floor, btw. Oh, and actually now that I think about it, the only thing we used the bassinet of the PNP for was to change his diaper. There is a side pouch where I kept diapers and wipes and stuff. You don't need another changing table.

Ally- All the books I read said to give the babies a consistent "wake up" time every day, but I just couldn't do it. I let him sleep as long as he could. Eventually she will get consistent. So if she basically really goes to sleep at 9 pm, got up once at 3 to eat, then slept again till 6:30 am, that's GREAT! That means she got up ONCE. I personally didn't put O to "bed" until he started his long stretch. So I wouldn't put him down at 7:30, he was still on his awake cycle then. I fed him at 6 or 7, then would cluster feed so I could put him to bed at around 9 pm, then I would go to bed. Up once at 3, down till 6:30 and I think you've got a good sleeper!

Mara- I've been thinking about your situation and I'm torn. The objective part of me says of course he'll never learn to do the binky himself or go back to sleep on his own if you keep going in there. BUT if he really cries for 45 mins and you know he'll go right back to sleep if you do go in, hard call. Maybe wait for the weekend and try to CIO for 3 nights and see what happens? He also could grow out of it. As for poop, I never change O's diapers in the middle of the night anymore, unless he wakes up screaming and has had a major blow out or something. If he's not wet or smelly through the sleep sack, then I don't change him. But O really doesn't mind dirty/wet diapers at night, at least they never wake him up.