The All New Ladies-In-Waiting Club!

[Tybee]

Date: 12/13/2004 2:18:56 PM
Author: psuheather
So, I know I have gotten way ahead of myself as we all know that I have no ring on my finger yet, but I saw this dress the other day and...WOW! I love it! It may just be my dream dress. Monique Lhullier though, so the $$$ is probably through the roof!

Wow, those are my dream breasts! LOL!
Beautiful dress!

 

[i_like_tiffany_please_dont_hate_me]

Age difference--I''m 36, FI is 30! (gasp! cradle robber!!)

my gf is 29, I''m 21 (a very old 21!

), but I don''t think age matters when you''ve found someone you love and who loves you

 

[allycat0303]

Hey everyone!

72 guys? hmm.. I don''t know about that. Is it a kind of six degrees of seperation thing? Where you kiss one, and he kissed a girl....chain reaction kind of thing? I''ve kissed one, that''s all!

Ginger: How Allycat got through poster presentations and talks at conferences:

a) For Poster presentation: I never stood next to my poster during the poster sessions.
Therefore, no one could ask me any questions

b) For a talk: If the time limit is 10 minutes and 5 minutes for quesations, I made sure to time
my talk so that it lasted 14 minutes and 55 seconds. Therefore, there was no time for
questions. The only quetion I answered through 5 conference is: "No sir, I would not like to
do a phd in your lab. ALthough thanking for asking me!

 

[appletini]

PSUHeather: I love the gown!!!

 

[Erin]

Congratulations NJC and SuziQ

still wating to read the stories.....

I''m 29 and he''s 31 - not one of those early to mid 20s couples. It''s our first wedding and I''m excited to do it up the traditional way - he''d rather avoid ''being on display'' and fly to Vegas. I think that disagreement is holding us up.
But, after reading the last few posts, ''happy'' to say neither are doing the graduate school thing right now - that''s hard work - especially since y''all sound like procrastinators like me

!

BOL - it''s a lot easier to get over someone crappy like your ex when you have someone (even if not serious) show you how good it feels to be treated the right way again. I say go for it - that''s why they call them rebounds!!!

Those cheesecakes look gorgeous - especially once you start digging into their website, but I don''t know about those thick walls of chocolate on the outside. Gives me a cavity just looking at them

 

[palmbaybabe]

Date: 12/13/2004 2:16:38 PM
Author: Croí

hello ladies !
well congrats to NJC and SuziQ - hoorah! hoorah !!!

BoL - hang in there, eye candy is good and you seem to have good friends to be with so go with that. I hate to say it but every bit of me is screaming for you to cut that man out, out, out of your life. It''s SO HARD I know but I am sure it''s the only way to go. I think whoever advised you to read back through your own posts from a third person perspective was right, it might surprise you to realise you already know all the answers ........ good luck, we are all behind you 100% *hug*

I''m another non-school-goer ........ just work, work, work ! hi-ho! hi-ho! hi-ho!
I get the impression most of the folk on here are in their early to mid-twenties - anyone doing the ''later than most'' thing like me ???? <grin> Also curious if any of you have significant age gaps between you and your beau ? I fall into both of the above - would love to talk to someone with similiar circumstances.
For instance, the whole white dress thing, formal wedding - that won''t be us. Anyone doing anything a bit more alternative ?

sorry but I don''t know how to ''quote'' only the part that i want, I ended up with the whole thing, ok, anyhow. I am 36 (but only til Jan) my ff is 50. he is 14 yrs older than me. it will be the first marriage for both of us, I don''t know about the white dress thing, but my feelings are where what ever you please! that is exactly what I''m going to do, I really never pictured my self in a big white froo-froo wedding gown, but yet I want a church wedding, I''d like to just wear blue jeans and a t-shirt, I thought it would be fun to wear a t-shirt that has "bride" on it and then "groom" for him and so-on for the maid of honor ect. I saw them used for rehersals and bachelor/bachelorette parties. my daughter (she is 15 1/2) thinks that I am nuts, I guess that I will just have to go look at dresses when the time comes, I do have a style in mind that I would really like, it would be white satin/silk or whatever, I''m not that picky about the fabric but I don''t want anything on it, I want it just plain, square neckline and sleveless, long but no train, I''m not sure on the cut though (i don''t know what the difference is between them i guess) it would have to be empire waist, princess or a-line or what ever, they all look pretty much the same to me.



I just got another hint that it might be 16 days till I get the ring! since I will be arriving in 14 days, and i was told that it will be before the end of the year, it just left me guess but I just got an e-mail from him that he forward to me, it was a conversation between him and a friend of his and he was telling his friend only 16

days!?!?

 

[Erin]

How to post pictures here - just checking to see if it worked:

 

[susiQ]

Hey guys!

You will have to bear with me as I finish finals this week and graduate. I will post pics and share the story with you as soon as I have a second to breathe

susiq

 

[dancinbaby]

help.....(sniff, sniff...)

Background: A couple of months ago BF fessed up that for awhile he had been secretly looking to buy a ring. Wanted to make sure I would like it, so then we started looking together. The goal was to get me something before the new year.

This morning

: BF realizes that all the stones that he truly likes are over budget. Doesn''t want to "settle" for anything less than the quality he likes. (His taste is more expensive than mine.) So, *kaboom** the bomb drops BF says, " I think we should pay off all our debt (i.e. CC bills, car loans, & etc.) before we buy the ring and end up further into debt...this way we can buy a better diamond in the future"

I coudn''t believe it I actually teared up...we were soooo close to buying something, granted not the color & clarity he would prefer, but HCA score was 0.7!! And now I am told to wait..you can''t do that to a girl!
I understand that he wants nothing but the best for me. I also understand that men like to practical, but...but...

Am I being a brat?

If I die tomorrow (knock on wood) I would rather go knowing I had a beautiful ring on my finger and had experienced a proposal, than knowing I was debt free.

In conclusion: This is how our conversation ended. Bf says," I love you. I want you to not worry about bills, but I just want you to be happy. Go find the ring that you really want and we''ll get it. $$ is no object." He''s such a doll.... But, now, I feel bad. Because I know deep down he''d rather wait...

DB

ps. If there are any MEN lurking here, I would love to get feedback from you as well...It seems crazy that I would be willing to get something of lower "quality" than him as long as it sparkled like crazy. Shouldn''t it be the other way around?

 

[appletini]

dancinbaby: I know exactly how you feel. I was also given a false timeframe, it really upset me. First he said it would be May, then June, then I finally said it was obviously not happening anytime soon, and got really mad and told him he''s no longer allowed to talk about it, b/c I don''t like being disappointed. Bottom line is that he wants to pay cash (he''s not finance type of guy), so I have to wait. All I can say is be patient, I know its not very fun, but this gives you more time to choose the exact ring you want. Also weddings aren''t cheap, so its probably better to eliminate some of the debt now. All of the money I get for Christmas is going to American Express.

 

[i_like_tiffany_please_dont_hate_me]

This morning

: BF realizes that all the stones that he truly likes are over budget. Doesn''t want to ''settle'' for anything less than the quality he likes. (His taste is more expensive than mine.) So, *kaboom** the bomb drops BF says, '' I think we should pay off all our debt (i.e. CC bills, car loans, & etc.) before we buy the ring and end up further into debt...this way we can buy a better diamond in the future''

I coudn''t believe it I actually teared up...we were soooo close to buying something, granted not the color & clarity he would prefer, but HCA score was 0.7!! And now I am told to wait..you can''t do that to a girl!
I understand that he wants nothing but the best for me. I also understand that men like to practical, but...but...

Am I being a brat?

If I die tomorrow (knock on wood) I would rather go knowing I had a beautiful ring on my finger and had experienced a proposal, than knowing I was debt free.

In conclusion: This is how our conversation ended. Bf says,'' I love you. I want you to not worry about bills, but I just want you to be happy. Go find the ring that you really want and we''ll get it. $$ is no object.'' He''s such a doll.... But, now, I feel bad. Because I know deep down he''d rather wait...

DB

ps. If there are any MEN lurking here, I would love to get feedback from you as well...It seems crazy that I would be willing to get something of lower ''quality'' than him as long as it sparkled like crazy. Shouldn''t it be the other way around?

I am a gentleman, and I understand exactly where he is coming from, he wants it to be perfect for you. it is probably not what you want to hear, but I can also see the logic behind his idea to pay off your debts before you get the ring...

I assume you are you looking online as prices are much lower... what colour and clarity is he looking for? people here will tell you that anything above vs2, maybe SI1, is money wasted, esp on a tight budget. same for colour, you may be able to drop down one or two without noticing much if any difference... I am not sure how much he knows - I knew NOTHING before I stumbled across bluenile''s information pages and then all the info you could ask for on PS! (for which I am eternally grateful!!!at first I wanted an IF, cos I didn''t realise VS2 and above are eye-clean.

whilst this is not something I would want to do, due to sentimentality and all that, you could get a smaller, lower grade stone now and ''upgrade'' to a larger, lower colour, better clarity stone in the future - after you paid off the debts! you could always keep the original and set it in some other jewelry

you should post some more details, what you want in the rock, what he wants in the rock etc, everyone is real friendly, they will help you out

if you want this gentleman''s view (this rather unusual gentleman''s view

) on anything, don''t hesitate to ask\

 

[i_like_tiffany_please_dont_hate_me]

Bottom line is that he wants to pay cash (he''s not finance type of guy)

I wouldn''t have thought of doing it any other way... you don''t spend what you don''t have! the only debt I have is my student loans, about $14,000 (which is the approx. cost of the ring), and I will owe parents $6000 for my masters by the end of the year and about $100 on my credit card from last tuesday

and all that seems worse than it is cos of the exchange rate (but it means I get a great ring

)

 

[goldengirl]

Date: 12/13/2004 5:16:48 PM
Author: dancinbaby
help.....(sniff, sniff...)


Background: A couple of months ago BF fessed up that for awhile he had been secretly looking to buy a ring. Wanted to make sure I would like it, so then we started looking together. The goal was to get me something before the new year.

This morning

: BF realizes that all the stones that he truly likes are over budget. Doesn''t want to ''settle'' for anything less than the quality he likes. (His taste is more expensive than mine.) So, *kaboom** the bomb drops BF says, '' I think we should pay off all our debt (i.e. CC bills, car loans, & etc.) before we buy the ring and end up further into debt...this way we can buy a better diamond in the future''

I coudn''t believe it I actually teared up...we were soooo close to buying something, granted not the color & clarity he would prefer, but HCA score was 0.7!! And now I am told to wait..you can''t do that to a girl!

I understand that he wants nothing but the best for me. I also understand that men like to practical, but...but...


Am I being a brat?

If I die tomorrow (knock on wood) I would rather go knowing I had a beautiful ring on my finger and had experienced a proposal, than knowing I was debt free.


In conclusion: This is how our conversation ended. Bf says,'' I love you. I want you to not worry about bills, but I just want you to be happy. Go find the ring that you really want and we''ll get it. $$ is no object.'' He''s such a doll.... But, now, I feel bad. Because I know deep down he''d rather wait...


DB


ps. If there are any MEN lurking here, I would love to get feedback from you as well...It seems crazy that I would be willing to get something of lower ''quality'' than him as long as it sparkled like crazy. Shouldn''t it be the other way around?

Aw, honey. I totally understand how you''re feeling. Especially if you''re in the situation I am, which translates to a lot of debt

, it can seem a daunting, endless task to pay off that debt. And for him to say it ALL has to go before the ring can arrive... I think that''s just cruel.

However, if your total amassed debt equals like, a thousand dollars, it might not be a bad idea to knock it out first. Start your new life together debt-free.. yeah, that would be a nice plan. I suppose it all really depends on how MUCH debt he wants to take care of first. For me, it would realistically take at least 2 years to pay off my debt, plus time after that to save for the ring. If he told me he wanted to wait that long I''d kick him.

I would do a couple things in your situation: first, find out why he is so dead-set on the diamond''s specs. If it''s cuz he thinks an H will be yellow, or an SI1 will look like frozen spit, you can educate him. If he understands the grading and it''s just his preference, I don''t think there''s much you can do there. It''d be like telling a PSer that they''re stupid for wanting a [insert grade here]. In that case, I''d just be flattered that he thinks you''re too good for a [blank] and only a [blank blank] will do for his special lady. And then maybe help him to save money for it. (Hint: if he will not accept your money directly for the diamond purchase, a sneaky way to do it would be to maybe pay more of the regular bills, ie, "Honey, I want to pay the whole cable bill so you have more money to save for the ring." I don''t know why, but this works better.)

Okay, that''s first thing. Secondly, I''d ask him if his wanting to wait until the debt is paid off is due to him REALLY wanting the debt paid off, or maybe he just isn''t "quite" ready and wants a goal to work towards. Maybe you can compromise with just getting the credit cards paid off. I agree that he should pay cash for your ring... it''s just silly to do otherwise. But does it have to be a huge, expensive ring? Will he understand that the marriage is more important than the giant rock, and be happy to put a smaller diamond on your hand until you''re more financially stable? I will probably be getting either a small "starter" diamond or a CZ. I am kinda excited for the upgrades over the years.. I look at them as a measure of our success together.

Just a few suggestions to help you approach it from a different angle. I know you will be able to work out a good compromise.

 

[dancinbaby]

Thanks guys for the support! You all have somes great points and after many cups of coffee, I feel much better now.

Details: We both agree on the ct. weight 1.2-1.4. Me: would take G/H SI1. BF: wants D-F VVS-VS. We have both been greatly educated thanks to PS. (Such a great site!) I thinks it''s more about getting a "mind clean" stone for him. The grade of the clarity is really just his preference.

DG: you seem to get things on the dot. BF says the same things about wanting the ring to be perfect. And just like you, he wanted IF. He is still looking to see if he can find one in budget. He has "compromised" to a VS. Is this a male thing??
Trading in to upgrade is out. BF wants e-ring to be "the ONe". We''re sentimental fools! Are you sure you''re only 21?

GG: I like your idea of helping more with the household bills! I think I"ll pay for the cable next month! -- I know he has the cash to buy my ring now. I think he feels the $$ would put to better use if instead of getting the ring, it would be put into cleaning up a portion "our" debt (mainly mine). Can''t we buy the ring now and then clean debt before the weddin??? hee...hee.

I''m such a brat...

Thanks for letting me vent

 

[KimberJEB]

My BF and I have about $11,000 in debt. He also has money (or at least most of it) saved up for a ring.

As much as I always wanted the stone in my ring to be the one I wear forever, I have been thinking lately that maybe he should have a setting made for me, or buy me a more expensive one and set it with an Interlap cz - of the same size my stone would/will be. We can get our debt paid off faster, and won''t have that stress hanging over us. I DON''T want to wait to get engaged, I want to be his fiance and his wife, more than I want a particular diamond. I have waited a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time (7 years). I can later set the cz in a pendant or as part of a pair of earrings - keep it for its sentamentality.

No it''s not a diamond. And sure - I would rather a diamond as my 1st engagement ring. But it is better for us to go into this without debt and :upgrade" later.

I am sentimental and VERY traditional. But, sometimes life gets in the way of dreams. That doesn''t mean the alternate can''t make you just as happy.

 

[icekid]

BOL- those cheesecakes are sooo pretty aren''t they?? yum...

and i''m glad to hear that you''re doing better w/ the bf situation. i went through a really tough break-up (we were soooo wrong for each other in retrospect), and all i can say is that it gets better everyday. truly it does- the first week or two is tough, but hang in there!! and eventually someone nicer and sweeter and cuter and just more RIGHT will come along (my future hubby!). i always just have to think that everything works out for the best in the end- it''s the only way i keep myself sane sometimes!

 

[icekid]

Date: 12/13/2004 1

8

6 PM
Author: gingerBcookie
icekid - i had just found that website last week while looking for a good cheesecake to send to my graduating friend! i thought they looked amazing...but seriously pricey like you said.

maybe when we''re doctors we''ll have enough money for stuff like that- med students, no way!

 

[goldengirl]

Date: 12/13/2004 7:50:34 PM
Author: KimberJEB
My BF and I have about $11,000 in debt. He also has money (or at least most of it) saved up for a ring.


As much as I always wanted the stone in my ring to be the one I wear forever, I have been thinking lately that maybe he should have a setting made for me, or buy me a more expensive one and set it with an Interlap cz - of the same size my stone would/will be. We can get our debt paid off faster, and won''t have that stress hanging over us. I DON''T want to wait to get engaged, I want to be his fiance and his wife, more than I want a particular diamond. I have waited a REALLY REALLY REALLY long time (7 years). I can later set the cz in a pendant or as part of a pair of earrings - keep it for its sentamentality.


No it''s not a diamond. And sure - I would rather a diamond as my 1st engagement ring. But it is better for us to go into this without debt and :upgrade'' later.


I am sentimental and VERY traditional. But, sometimes life gets in the way of dreams. That doesn''t mean the alternate can''t make you just as happy.

I feel ya, sistah. I, personally, just me, am about 10K in the hole.

And as much as I would looooooooooooooooooove my ring to be "real", I am sensible enough (damn my dad for teaching me financial responsibility!!) to understand that it would probably be better in the long run to get that debt paid off, first. I''ll probably do the same thing: drop some money into a good setting and have a cz the same size as I want diamond set for the time being. I will push hard for the wedding band I want, though... I don''t want to have to upgrade that. I don''t know why I feel that''s different, but I do.

Frankly, even if we were debt-free, I''d still probably push for the temp stone... because I want a HOUSE, and that''ll take a pretty good sum of cash to make happen... and again, to me, that''s more important.

If we were debt-free and were rolling in our savings, oh yeah, I''d take the sparkler!

(But we''re not, so I will wait patiently...)

 

[gingerBcookie]

Date: 12/13/2004 8:52:12 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 12/13/2004 1

8

6 PM
Author: gingerBcookie
icekid - i had just found that website last week while looking for a good cheesecake to send to my graduating friend!&nbsp; i thought they looked amazing...but seriously pricey like you said.

maybe when we''re doctors we''ll have enough money for stuff like that- med students, no way!

yeah, no kidding. here''s a question, the ring you thinking of...are you thinking of what you can afford now or what you would want as a doctor? hmmm...i hope i''m asking this question right. my bf and i are very sentimental and want the ring to be the ONE ya know? so we want the ring to be the one i want for the rest of my life, and with me being a doctor, i can afford a certain amount...later on...but not quite now. Currently we are debt free, although my cost of living loans are looming in the near distance, i have a free ride through med school, had a free ride through college, so the loans aren''t even that much. We won''t be going into debt for the ring, but we are cutting it a little close (almost clean out his account), but only cuz he just bought a new car that he paid for in full, cash (which he badly needed). Hmmm...i guess bottom line is we are buying a ring of a future doctor''s salary when currently we are living on a rookie engineer''s salary. We are good little savers

but the curent rash of big buys (car, soon ring) is making me feel guilty

i guess i wanted to get that off my chest and get some outside perspective on this...do ya''ll think we aren''t being smart about this? in allhonesty, this wouldn''t even be an issue if the car hadn''t come into the picture. oi vay...did i have a point at all?

 

[jenwill]

Congrats NJC and SuziQ! Wonderful to see 2 more knocked off the list....happy for you, and with a small part of me thinking, the more of you that get knocked off, the closer I may be!

I have been missing for 5 days, finally finished working at 'travel an employee to death' and on to workng at the hospital that I used to work at for 10 years....but, no computer for now, so have to wait until have access to boyfriends.

So, we went to Vegas this past weekend, had a great time, and went by Fred Leighton, Harry Winston, and Tiffany's. VERY sparkly rings to be seen. Made me laugh tho- Tiffany's wanted $11k for a .91 F VS1 Emerald cut- which can ve found here for 3500-4k. So silly to pay $7k extra for a name! My boyfriend walked away muttering to himself- I told him that a company like Whiteflash would be WAY cheaper for just as good quality- he was then muttering, "Whiteflash, Whiteflash" to himself!

I think we are still about 1-2 months away from proposal, but am moving in next month, and I think he wants to have it done either before or shortly after.

Love both the cupcake and cheesecake ideas......cupcake cheesecakes would be even better!

I am no longer in school (actually have not been in 'school' for 15 years! Ack am I already 34?!?), I learned cardiac ultrasound on the job, but that isn't really school. Took national boards- taught myself ultrasound physics...ugh! Went into marketing for an ultrasound manufacturer, but they didn't require marketing- they required ultrasound experience. Now back at the hospital because I really missed patient care- wacky I know!

I am going to try to get on this computer in the evenings, because I really miss hearing everything that is going on with all of you!

 

[KimberJEB]

Date: 12/13/2004 10:10:30 PM
Author: goldengirl

I feel ya, sistah. I, personally, just me, am about 10K in the hole.

And as much as I would looooooooooooooooooove my ring to be ''real'', I am sensible enough (damn my dad for teaching me financial responsibility!!) to understand that it would probably be better in the long run to get that debt paid off, first. I''ll probably do the same thing: drop some money into a good setting and have a cz the same size as I want diamond set for the time being. I will push hard for the wedding band I want, though... I don''t want to have to upgrade that. I don''t know why I feel that''s different, but I do.

Frankly, even if we were debt-free, I''d still probably push for the temp stone... because I want a HOUSE, and that''ll take a pretty good sum of cash to make happen... and again, to me, that''s more important.

If we were debt-free and were rolling in our savings, oh yeah, I''d take the sparkler!

(But we''re not, so I will wait patiently...)

Yeah, we bought a house this summer, we both have new cars(blah - I kind of wish I hadn''t done that but I thought I would still be in law school with daddy supporting me for another 1.5 years. Then I had to go and be independent.) Anyway, between his job, the roommate living with us, and my almost-full-time sub teaching job, we can have the CCs and the $$$ my mom lent us for the house paid off by next September. Or earlier if he gets good bonuses. But I DO NOT want to wait that long to get engaged. I will be nutty. Then there was the "finance the ring" option, but I do think I would rather take time, save up again, and find a really nice stone from the internet.

About the wedding ring. My grandparents will have been married 60 years in June. They have LITERALLY never taken off their wedding bands. When they have had surgeries, wrist settings, they have somehow convinced the Drs to allow them to pull it up to the tip of their finger and tape it there. My grandmother has probably gained 175 pounds+ since she got married, but b/c she never took the ring off, it still fits - kind of. Her skin goes over it, but it can stay on. Anyway, the point is I want my wedding band to be white gold or platinum, pretty thin, and plain, so that I don''t have to take it in to be repaired if a diamond falls out or whatnot. I would also like to eventually get an eternity band to wear on the other side of my engagement ring. Best of both worlds.

My big problem with the CZ thing is some obnoxious relatives who would REALLY make rude comments about it. So despite the general opinion of people on this board I really hope to pass it off as real - since there aren''t a ton of diamond experts in that crowd, I hope it will work.

Oh, and did I mention how much I HATE credit cards???

 

[MrsFrk]

Date: 12/13/2004 7:27:38 PM
Author: dancinbaby
Thanks guys for the support! You all have somes great points and after many cups of coffee, I feel much better now.

Details: We both agree on the ct. weight 1.2-1.4. Me: would take G/H SI1. BF: wants D-F VVS-VS. We have both been greatly educated thanks to PS. (Such a great site!) I thinks it''s more about getting a ''mind clean'' stone for him. The grade of the clarity is really just his preference.


DG: you seem to get things on the dot. BF says the same things about wanting the ring to be perfect. And just like you, he wanted IF. He is still looking to see if he can find one in budget. He has ''compromised'' to a VS. Is this a male thing??

Trading in to upgrade is out. BF wants e-ring to be ''the ONe''. We''re sentimental fools! Are you sure you''re only 21?

GG: I like your idea of helping more with the household bills! I think I''ll pay for the cable next month! -- I know he has the cash to buy my ring now. I think he feels the $$ would put to better use if instead of getting the ring, it would be put into cleaning up a portion ''our'' debt (mainly mine). Can''t we buy the ring now and then clean debt before the weddin??? hee...hee.

I''m such a brat...


Thanks for letting me vent

Yes, it IS a guy thing! I have helped several of my male friends with their ring purchases, in almost every case their initial attitude was " here''s my budget, D/E and VVS1 or better or BUST, who cares about the size?!" I wore them down like the ocean on a piece of glass, in one case I got him to buy an over 2 carat I/SI1 stunner! His now wife loves me.

My husband and I married when we were young and poor, no money for diamonds. Money woes strain a marriage like nothing else, I DO think it''s a good idea to get your finances in order before buying a diamond. But I also feel that a one time big expense like an engagement ring goes into a special debt category, with mortgages and student loans.

 

[icekid]

Date: 12/13/2004 10:40:26 PM
Author: gingerBcookie

yeah, no kidding. here''s a question, the ring you thinking of...are you thinking of what you can afford now or what you would want as a doctor? hmmm...i hope i''m asking this question right. my bf and i are very sentimental and want the ring to be the ONE ya know? so we want the ring to be the one i want for the rest of my life, and with me being a doctor, i can afford a certain amount...later on...but not quite now. Currently we are debt free, although my cost of living loans are looming in the near distance, i have a free ride through med school, had a free ride through college, so the loans aren''t even that much. We won''t be going into debt for the ring, but we are cutting it a little close (almost clean out his account), but only cuz he just bought a new car that he paid for in full, cash (which he badly needed). Hmmm...i guess bottom line is we are buying a ring of a future doctor''s salary when currently we are living on a rookie engineer''s salary. We are good little savers

but the curent rash of big buys (car, soon ring) is making me feel guilty

i guess i wanted to get that off my chest and get some outside perspective on this...do ya''ll think we aren''t being smart about this? in allhonesty, this wouldn''t even be an issue if the car hadn''t come into the picture. oi vay...did i have a point at all?

ginger, i am definitely with you on wanting just ONE ring- i don''t want any upgrades. i think i''m just too sentimental for that. but luckily for me (and you) we have bfs who are not in med school anyway so it won''t be using school loans for the ring! my bf just moved with me, so we spent a lot of money on the move and getting set up, so we definitely need to save money before we buy the ring.

medicine is a very secure field to go into, and the money will still be there when we''ve finished residencies- so if your bf has saved the money for the dream ring, i don''t see why not! i assume you''re not buying a house TOO soon either, unless you''re really set on staying in houston for residency. so i think you''re all set

but then again i can''t wait for my ring, so i may be a bit biased!

 

[kanne]

Congratulations to NJC and SuziQ!! I''m so happy for both of you!!

Love your pics too!! I just can''t get enough hand pics.

I''m 32 and back in school for BA #3. Hopefully this will be the last time but I am suffering along with the rest of you that are in the last week of finals hell. At least it is keeping my mind off the e-ring..speaking of which...

we did it! We met with Leon and ordered the ring. Won''t have it until Jan 20th... I miss my Asscher/SE already. His studio is in the NYC diamond district. I had never been to that part of NYC and it was amazing to see so much bling in one place. Bling-0-rama.

I love this thread for all the stories...the ups and downs and the gowns and tiers of cupcakes. Oh and the rings of course - diamond, emerald, saphire, cz whatever!

-lovey

 

[njc]

Thanks everyone! Im still in shock... i waited so long!

DancinBaby - I too was giving false timelines and had the SAME exact thing happen to me with us going out and looking at rings and picking them out and then the b/f suddenly decided that he needed to pay off his debt first and save up some cash. I was devistated and a total brat!!! Its taken us almost a year to go from that point to me getting my ring (this past saturday). He paid off his debt and my way of helping him was moving in (i like the cable bill idea though... boys are so funny about how theyll take money!). We both got to save money on rent and he put the the part he was saving to his CC and i got to move out of my parents house!

And i know thats not for everyone, but just my experience and what we did.

Is there ANY way to talk your b/f out of such a high clarity? Certainly a VS or VVS is a wonderful ring, but my SI2 is lovely as well (and i dont think most people would be able to tell the difference). Before i found pricescope i was deadset on nothing lower than a VS2... but there are soooooo many members on here that have SI's, and once i saw them with my own eye, i was convienced! If he wants to splurge, i would do it on cut and color... but just my $0.02!!!

Welcome to the club... these ladies (and gentleman) are spectacular and give the best advice in the world! Even if its just listening to you venting!!!

Jenwill - Glad you had a wonderful time in Vegas! Im sure it was bling-tastic!

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

I like to think of myself as a sentimental person. I will never part with my original engagement ring because it is the symbol of the promise that my husband made to me all these years ago. I am a person who said would never change my e-ring. However, ladies, take in from one married lady, although the original e-ring is sentimental, after marriage is where the good stuff starts, you build a relationship as man and wife, you live together day in and day out.. you live with the good stuff, you deal with the bad stuff... However, your love grows exponentially after you have made that commitment to each other and started living it out. There is something about the bond that we have built together over the years of our marriage that is so much more special than when we were dating. So, this upgrade that I have just received, to me is a symbol of a grown love and although i''ll cherish my e-ring forever, this new ring means just as much to me b/c it was given to me by my husband who has been married to me for a long time, has been through the good, the bad, the ugly and back again....it is as though this new symbol is even more important in a way........to me it says, we''ve been through it all (deployments, moving, military commands, sickness, health) and I wouldn''t change it for the world....

 

[yanekie25]

Congrats, lovey. Can''t wait to see what it looks like. Description pleeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Dancinbaby, I totally feel you. We bought a house this year, which knocked a lot out of us. I knew I had to wait for the ring, but I soon realized the more I waited the more other things, more important came up. The money will be used for something. I just got tired of waiting. We agreed the ring would be a joint purchase, and we are pretty much financing most of it, but with both our bonuses in Jan, it should be paid off. I know it isn''t the most financial responsible, heck I am a finance major, but we have a 5 year financial plan, so I feel pretty good at times and this just delays it by 6 months. Now, the wedding we will save for and pay outright. I refuse to go into debt for a wedding, since to me, its more about other people, but my ring is all for me, and I am willing to not eat out for while to have it. I think you have to find what is comfortable for you. You guys should talk about it and decide.

I also went all out as I could on the ring, since I knew I wouldn''t want to change it. It has that sentimental value. It marks a certain time in our lives together. But, hey you never say never right.

 

[JCJD]

Date: 12/14/2004 10:12:18 AM
Author: fortheloveofdiamonds
I like to think of myself as a sentimental person. I will never part with my original engagement ring because it is the symbol of the promise that my husband made to me all these years ago. I am a person who said would never change my e-ring. However, ladies, take in from one married lady, although the original e-ring is sentimental, after marriage is where the good stuff starts, you build a relationship as man and wife, you live together day in and day out.. you live with the good stuff, you deal with the bad stuff... However, your love grows exponentially after you have made that commitment to each other and started living it out. There is something about the bond that we have built together over the years of our marriage that is so much more special than when we were dating. So, this upgrade that I have just received, to me is a symbol of a grown love and although i''ll cherish my e-ring forever, this new ring means just as much to me b/c it was given to me by my husband who has been married to me for a long time, has been through the good, the bad, the ugly and back again....it is as though this new symbol is even more important in a way........to me it says, we''ve been through it all (deployments, moving, military commands, sickness, health) and I wouldn''t change it for the world....

THIS, ladies, is why I pushed my FI to propose with a fake Walmart ring and save up for the real thing someday!! I want a marriage with him, not a rock that we can''t afford, and I got it!!! The only problem I see with upgrading to a larger ring later on in your marriage is you''ll be really attached to your "real" e-ring and won''t want to let it go... until you''re blinded by rainbows from your upgraded ring!! And then you''ll get over it and put your engagement stone into a pendant (close to your heart!!), like KimberJeb suggested. My Walmart ring is turning copper and starting to turn my finger green, but I refuse to stop wearing it cause it''s my engagement ring!! I''m seriously going to need therapy when he gets the real one and I have to part with this one! Hmmmm, I wonder if a jeweler would be willing to take the CZ''s out of it and put them in a pendant for me.....

My advice to dancinbaby - explain why the proposal is so important to you, why it is so meaningful and why you''re so upset that he says it won''t happen for a long time now, even though you completely understand why. I truly believe that once he understands WHY you want him to propose earlier rather than later, he will seriously rethink his diamond requirements/preferences! My FI was dead-set, adamantly against proposing without a diamond ring (although he''d *just* started a job after over a year of unemployment and didn''t have $$), but about a month after I cried for a couple hours on his shoulder about how much I just wanted to START the rest of my life with him and couldn''t care less about a real ring right now, boom, he proposed without an ering about a month later!

And besides, if he gets me a smaller ering that we can afford now and upgrades it later on, instant right-hand ring!

 

[Croí]

oh boy - sometimes it''s like folk on here just can read a girls mind !!!

I am kinda-sorta in the same boat. When I first came to PS it was because we''d had a disasterous foray into a jewelry store where I felt like the world''s-least-capable-female because I hadn''t a clue about diamonds or even any idea of what I liked or may have wanted. the whole experience was awful and really ruined the whole excitement of getting ''the ring''

I, like so many of you it seems, just WANT TO MARRY THIS MAN and I''d do it tomorrow in just my slippers if that was all the notice he gave me !

My big dilemma was our friends here and giving them enough notice to ask for time off and to get the cheapest possible flights so I went ahead and told some of the closest and now four are already booked to go to Ireland and three more are in the process of ....... but TECHNICALLY, we are not even engaged yet so there''s an amount of panic setting in with me at the moment.

I know he is going to marry me - and hopefully on May 1st, the date I''ve told our friends ! - but if he''d just ask, I''d feel so much better ....... but again, it''s that same story ... with the tradition and having the ring etc. etc.

I don''t know what to do. I''ve put myself into this situation by jumping the gun and putting the cart before the horse (even though my intentions were good, not wanting friends to have to pay through the nose for flights if they were being amazing enough to make the trans-atlantic trip to begin with) and I feel like I don''t deserve much sympathy from him about getting myself into this mental turmoil.

So, the sixty-million-dollar question is : what do I do now ???

 

[Tybee]

This is pretty much the route we went. FI wanted to pay off debt first...I was worried that I''d be 40 before being engaged. Then I did some MEGA research--told him what I REALLY wanted and what I could do without. (To me cut and clarity are more important than size--I''m fairly active tom-boy sort anyhow...even though I DREAMED of a 1.5 c diamond, my .88 is way more my speed.)
My ring is so beautiful to me...We were able to go down thousands of dollars by going smaller...
Good luck to you!