Date: 7/8/2009 3:02:10 PM
Author: Lilac
I hope you can figure this out either by yourself or with your BF soon - and no matter what you decide, I hope you are satisfied with your decision and we''re all here to help if you want to talk about it more!
Thank you princesss and Lilac (you are an inspiration!!)- I am mulling over the fact that this is the first thing I''m struggling with where I haven''t felt compelled to go talk it over with the SO right away. He is the one that''s seen me through all my university near misses, the last one I say goodnight to and the one I spend every drop of my free time with. I''ve never had to fight for him, if that makes any difference at all, if that might make me feel like this was too effortless or easy. I''m worried that these feelings of hesitation are linked to me not wanting to grow up so quickly thinking that marriage makes people boring, or that I will lose my connection with my friends, or that I will lose my hypothetical freedom, or that the marriages I see in my life are terrible examples. In that case, I would think that''s a bit more normal.
Okay I''d like to pick a bone with the concept of ''The One''.. I don''t know if I believe in that. I mean, look around and you can see so many broken marriages, relationships, people changing their minds about who their ''One'' really is. If someone ends up with a person who ISN''T their One, they screw it up for that person''s actual One, therefore causing them to end up with a wrong One, and it dominoes all the way down. So I''ve come to think that maybe each person has a handful of ''Ones'' that will work out for her, some maybe more so than others.
..I''m aware that really doesn''t clear very much up at all, but I guess saying that, well, you just know doesn''t really either haha. I was very certain about SO until recently - it feels like I just got hit by the fry pan of hesitation from left field. I wonder sometimes, maybe I''m just not one of those people who can find the absolute perfect happiness in a guy, no matter how perfect the guy is. Then it''s nothing but a problem I have to deal with. (Again another possible reason to delay?)
And tonight after work I go to a softball practice where both the BF and the other guy will be, AND I promised my best friend I would call him some time after work because of his fight with his girlfriend yesterday. What am I getting myself into........ . . .
BTW Dreamgirl - Your coworkers are incredible! And I''d like to add that ice cream can only help a girl. I''m a strong advocate for the ice-cream-pick-me-uppers.
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