The LIW Small Talk Thread

[hisdiamondgirl]

Ooooo Lilac, have you posted your wedding pics on here?! Linky please!

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:20:45 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl

Date: 12/2/2009 1:17:33 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 12/2/2009 1:15:50 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:14:04 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
Ummmm B, I edited my post above in case you didn't notice!

LOL, and Bia works in the BRONX Bronx.

Fordham Road Yo! Welcome to DA HOOD BABY!!!!!!!!! Thank God for univ gates!

lmao...didn't want B to get the wrong idea of me, you know, PR chick suggesting she get married in the Bronx!

I already have ideas about you...and I like them!!!

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:22:33 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
Ooooo Lilac, have you posted your wedding pics on here?! Linky please!

So my original wedding pictures were terrible, but we did some re-takes in July (surprise gift from DH

) and I posted some of those here. Unfortunately they don't include any indoor pictures, but they are on the outdoor grounds of Marina del Rey. You can see the gazebo, part of the view (although the view was much prettier in other pictures and in person - and at night with everything lit up - but it gives a view of the water and one of the bridges).

I'll try to see if I can scan in any wedding pictures showing the inside of the venue when I get home tonight. I don't know how to do it (and we don't have them on the computer already) but maybe tonight I can see if DH can show me how.

ETA: Didn't work the first time... Link to pictures:

ETA2: I don't know why the link isn't showing up. Here's the page... http://www.pricescope.com/forum/op-requested/got-pictures-back-t120111.html

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:24:14 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 12/2/2009 1:20:45 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl

Date: 12/2/2009 1:17:33 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 12/2/2009 1:15:50 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:14:04 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
Ummmm B, I edited my post above in case you didn't notice!

LOL, and Bia works in the BRONX Bronx.

Fordham Road Yo! Welcome to DA HOOD BABY!!!!!!!!! Thank God for univ gates!

lmao...didn't want B to get the wrong idea of me, you know, PR chick suggesting she get married in the Bronx!

I already have ideas about you...and I like them!!!

Heheheh, don't let Elle see this

...WTF is she btw? Working? Lunch? Staring at her gorgeous wedding pictures somewhere? Come out, come out, wherever you are...

ETA: Ahhh, ok, I do remember she said she was going to Detroit...

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:20:22 PM
Author: TheBigT
Ugh, my MIL is so frustrating. She''ll email DH, his brother, and brother''s wife (but not me), and say ''Hi Family'' and give them some kind of family news. Nice, right? Because I don''t count as family...

This sucks. Similar thing happened last week to me. My husband''s uncle sent the ENTIRE family information about an upcoming Hanukkah party and my MIL called my husband to ask him to email his uncle and tell him to take me off the email list. Just me. Nobody else.

Apparently I''m not really family either

.

(My husband refused to do it.)

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Wow are you guys serious!?!?! What is wrong with those women?!

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:31:48 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:22:18 PM
Author: Bia
hows your relationship with her? mine is normally really good but lately, with this whole Christmas business, it''s sort of chilly. She down right pi$$ed me off this year and I want her to know about it!

She is generally kind of a jerk, and told me in no uncertain terms that she will always take my DH''s ''side'' (not that there are really sides?). But she LOVES her other DIL for reasons that are completely beyond me.

It''s not that I''m not on her list, because she''ll send emails to different groups of people, like DH and hi bro and wife, or those 3 people plus a couple of cousins, and she''ll rarely include me. then DH will forward me the email to share whatever news, and I sometimes look at who she sent the email to. I mean, I''d rather not get the emails, I just don''t like the notion that she''s intentionally leaving me out.

That B**CH!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder what''s so great about your SIL that MIL compares you two? Grrr.

My FMIL loves me - as much as you can love your DIL. I love her too but she''s a controlling PITA sometimes. Most of the time it''s easier to let things go with her. This year FI and wont'' be together Christmas eve because FMIL freaked the f*** out that we were considering spending Christmas Eve/Day with my family since they always get the short end (living inMassachusetts). She hung up on FI and then it was a big scandal. Since my Bro isn''t coming up until Christmas day, FI is going to come up with him and his wife instead and I will go up to be with my parents on the 24th. Meaning, FI and I wont be together. It makes me really angry that my FMIL would see that as an okay alternative. I was so angry last night because it just shows that she is being very selfish, not caring about her son''s, or my, feelings. FI said he wouldn''t budge for next year, that we''ll be together no matter what, but I sort of want him to let her know that being apart really bothers us. Whatever...

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:33:11 PM
Author: Lilac

Date: 12/2/2009 1:20:22 PM
Author: TheBigT
Ugh, my MIL is so frustrating. She''ll email DH, his brother, and brother''s wife (but not me), and say ''Hi Family'' and give them some kind of family news. Nice, right? Because I don''t count as family...

This sucks. Similar thing happened last week to me. My husband''s uncle sent the ENTIRE family information about an upcoming Hanukkah party and my MIL called my husband to ask him to email his uncle and tell him to take me off the email list. Just me. Nobody else.

Apparently I''m not really family either

.

(My husband refused to do it.)

I don''t get the purpose of that? Why would she do that?

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:36:13 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
Wow are you guys serious!?!?! What is wrong with those women?!

Ahh too many things to go into, but it can be summed up as: she didn''t want "her baby" to get married so soon (those are her words, not even mine)

.

And when DH didn''t do what she asked, she called his uncle up herself and told him to remove me from the email list. Truthfully I gave up a long time ago trying to be "friends" with her, and now I just try to be nice for the sake of DH. And if I''m nice to her, and she''s not nice to me, then at the very least I can''t be blamed for us not having a good relationship.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:40:20 PM
Author: Bia
That B**CH!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder what''s so great about your SIL that MIL compares you two? Grrr.

My FMIL loves me - as much as you can love your DIL. I love her too but she''s a controlling PITA sometimes. Most of the time it''s easier to let things go with her. This year FI and wont'' be together Christmas eve because FMIL freaked the f*** out that we were considering spending Christmas Eve/Day with my family since they always get the short end (living inMassachusetts). She hung up on FI and then it was a big scandal. Since my Bro isn''t coming up until Christmas day, FI is going to come up with him and his wife instead and I will go up to be with my parents on the 24th. Meaning, FI and I wont be together. It makes me really angry that my FMIL would see that as an okay alternative. I was so angry last night because it just shows that she is being very selfish, not caring about her son''s, or my, feelings. FI said he wouldn''t budge for next year, that we''ll be together no matter what, but I sort of want him to let her know that being apart really bothers us. Whatever...

That''s the thing - my SIL is HORRIBLE! She''s mean to everyone and DH doesn''t even like her. But she''s good at kissing the in-laws'' butts. And plays a large part in convincing them I''m inferior.

Ugh, your MIL is being so selfish!! You should be able to both spend Xmas with your family!

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:41:12 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:36:13 PM

Author: hisdiamondgirl

Wow are you guys serious!?!?! What is wrong with those women?!

My MIL lives up to all the Jewish Mother stereotypes. She''s WAY overprotective of her sons.

She also thinks that I''m some really extravagant spender and all I''m going to do is spend her son''s money. I wore Manolo Blahnik shoes at my wedding (my only pair, ever, and my mom got them for me) - and my MIL has found as least 3 ways to bring up Manolo Blahnik shoes to me in a really negative way, basically chastising me. (Always, when DH is not in the room). It''s gross. She''s so judgmental.

Unfortunately, she''s my ''friend'' on FB and I have to be careful about what I do / say or block her from everything.

She TOTALLY sounds just like my MIL!!!! Typical overprotective Jewish mother... she told my husband to return my engagement ring because it was too big and "why do I need something like that when she didn''t get anything like that?." Told him not to buy me presents when we were dating. She''s extremely judgmental and very jealous type. Very very passive aggressive and I just wish she would SAY what''s on her mind so I could respond like a normal person instead of her backhandedly insulting me and DH and passive aggressively criticizing and making comments about everything we do or don''t do. She cries HYSTERICALLY when she doesn''t get her way. Very manipulative.

Ok. Vent over. Sorry.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:41:10 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 12/2/2009 1:33:11 PM

Author: Lilac

Date: 12/2/2009 1:20:22 PM

Author: TheBigT

Ugh, my MIL is so frustrating. She''ll email DH, his brother, and brother''s wife (but not me), and say ''Hi Family'' and give them some kind of family news. Nice, right? Because I don''t count as family...

This sucks. Similar thing happened last week to me. My husband''s uncle sent the ENTIRE family information about an upcoming Hanukkah party and my MIL called my husband to ask him to email his uncle and tell him to take me off the email list. Just me. Nobody else.

Apparently I''m not really family either

.

(My husband refused to do it.)

I don''t get the purpose of that? Why would she do that?

Good question, and I''m still not entirely sure.

I''m sorry about your FMIL not understanding about Christmas.

It''s a tough situation - on one hand it''s good to set boundaries now before you''re even married - let her know she can''t split you apart just because she complains about it. But on the other hand, is it worth it to hurt her if you previously had a good relationship and your FI says once you''re married/next year it won''t be an issue and you will be together? I don''t know the right answer... but I do understand why it would upset you

My MIL started crying when we told her we could only spend 3 hours at her Hanukkah party because we had to go to my father''s Hanukkah party on the same day (where we would only be spending 2 hours before going to my FIL''s Hanukkah party where we would see her AGAIN for another 3 hours!). She started crying and saying she always "gets the short end of the stick." DH basically told her too bad. We''re married now and we make decisions together and she needs to deal with it. Last year when we were engaged it was a similar situation to yours though... we ended up not being together for a good part of it because he had to be with his mom and dad and I wanted to see my father because I rarely see him. It really takes so much fun out of it when you can''t be with your SO/FI/DH.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:49:50 PM
Author: TheBigT

Ugh! they''re like sisters separated at birth! My MIL is also very manipulative and likes to make herself a martyr. She''s also jealous of the time we spend with my parents (who are local), even though it''s not that much. She''s totally unreasonable.

They really are like twins. I feel for you.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Awww man, I am so sorry that you guys have to deal with this crap. My relationship with FMIL is pretty good. They''re not local though so we don''t see them very often and I don''t communicate with her other than through SO. We''ll see what happens once we''re officially engaged/married but she seems like a pretty laid back person who won''t cause any trouble!

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:51:51 PM
Author: Lilac
My MIL started crying when we told her we could only spend 3 hours at her Hanukkah party because we had to go to my father''s Hanukkah party on the same day (where we would only be spending 2 hours before going to my FIL''s Hanukkah party where we would see her AGAIN for another 3 hours!). She started crying and saying she always ''gets the short end of the stick.'' DH basically told her too bad. We''re married now and we make decisions together and she needs to deal with it. Last year when we were engaged it was a similar situation to yours though... we ended up not being together for a good part of it because he had to be with his mom and dad and I wanted to see my father because I rarely see him. It really takes so much fun out of it when you can''t be with your SO/FI/DH.

I WISH my husband would stand up to his mother. He totally doesn''t see anything wrong with what she does. It''s the one thing I know we''re going to fight about forever.
That''s probably the most frustrating part of the whole situation. But it''s his nature - he hates confrontation and he hates to stir the pot. I, on the other hand...

 

[sunnyd]

Damn your MILs are crazy!! Off their rockers crazy!

That''s really sad.

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:44:56 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:40:20 PM
Author: Bia
That B**CH!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder what''s so great about your SIL that MIL compares you two? Grrr.

My FMIL loves me - as much as you can love your DIL. I love her too but she''s a controlling PITA sometimes. Most of the time it''s easier to let things go with her. This year FI and wont'' be together Christmas eve because FMIL freaked the f*** out that we were considering spending Christmas Eve/Day with my family since they always get the short end (living inMassachusetts). She hung up on FI and then it was a big scandal. Since my Bro isn''t coming up until Christmas day, FI is going to come up with him and his wife instead and I will go up to be with my parents on the 24th. Meaning, FI and I wont be together. It makes me really angry that my FMIL would see that as an okay alternative. I was so angry last night because it just shows that she is being very selfish, not caring about her son''s, or my, feelings. FI said he wouldn''t budge for next year, that we''ll be together no matter what, but I sort of want him to let her know that being apart really bothers us. Whatever...

That''s the thing - my SIL is HORRIBLE! She''s mean to everyone and DH doesn''t even like her. But she''s good at kissing the in-laws'' butts. And plays a large part in convincing them I''m inferior.

Ugh, your MIL is being so selfish!! You should be able to both spend Xmas with your family!

exactly! I feel sorry for FI too because my being sad (and sometimes angry at him - just because he''s the only one there) is making him sad. We shouldn''t have this kind of pressure put on us every.single.year. Parents should seriously know better than to make such a big deal! Holidays should be about kindness, togetherness, sharing...love. Not catty, childlike, selfish parents who don''t understand that it doesn''t always work out the way we plan. She has family all around her but sparing her son is asking too much according to her. God!!!! I''m getting mad just thinking about this now.

FI told me last night that he is really angry at the way she makes him feel. He''s also upset that we didnt'' find out his sister was preggo until Thanksgiving, when she was already 3 months along. He feels he should have known since he''s her brother. But she said she wasn''t telling anyone until 3 months. Only his parents knew. I sort of agree with him. I would never leave my brother out of the loop like that. I told him if how his family treats him is a problem then he should talk to them. He doesn''t want to though...just sulks instead.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:58:08 PM
Author: Bia
exactly! I feel sorry for FI too because my being sad (and sometimes angry at him - just because he''s the only one there) is making him sad. We shouldn''t have this kind of pressure put on us every.single.year. Parents should seriously know better than to make such a big deal! Holidays should be about kindness, togetherness, sharing...love. Not catty, childlike, selfish parents who don''t understand that it doesn''t always work out the way we plan. She has family all around her but sparing her son is asking too much according to her. God!!!! I''m getting mad just thinking about this now.


FI told me last night that he is really angry at the way she makes him feel. He''s also upset that we didnt'' find out his sister was preggo until Thanksgiving, when she was already 3 months along. He feels he should have known since he''s her brother. But she said she wasn''t telling anyone until 3 months. Only his parents knew. I sort of agree with him. I would never leave my brother out of the loop like that. I told him if how his family treats him is a problem then he should talk to them. He doesn''t want to though...just sulks instead.

The family pressure is so hard on a relationship! Most people I know who do Christmas with their families alternate locations every year. I don''t think it''s reasonable to expect more than that!

Why didn''t his sister tell him about the pregnancy? Or why does he think she didn''t? That would make me feel left out, too.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 12/2/2009 1:56:10 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:51:51 PM

Author: Lilac

My MIL started crying when we told her we could only spend 3 hours at her Hanukkah party because we had to go to my father''s Hanukkah party on the same day (where we would only be spending 2 hours before going to my FIL''s Hanukkah party where we would see her AGAIN for another 3 hours!). She started crying and saying she always ''gets the short end of the stick.'' DH basically told her too bad. We''re married now and we make decisions together and she needs to deal with it. Last year when we were engaged it was a similar situation to yours though... we ended up not being together for a good part of it because he had to be with his mom and dad and I wanted to see my father because I rarely see him. It really takes so much fun out of it when you can''t be with your SO/FI/DH.

I WISH my husband would stand up to his mother. He totally doesn''t see anything wrong with what she does. It''s the one thing I know we''re going to fight about forever.

That''s probably the most frustrating part of the whole situation. But it''s his nature - he hates confrontation and he hates to stir the pot. I, on the other hand...

When we were dating, my husband (then-boyfriend) NEVER stood up to his parents. He lived with them and hated any confrontation because they would make his life a living hell. It was one of the only things we fought about - but it happened a lot. He always told me it would get better when we got married and he wasn''t living at home anymore, but I was so hesitant to believe him and to get my hopes up. We got married and he was right - it really is different now that he doesn''t have to see them/deal with them on a daily basis. We don''t fight about them anymore (we basically agree mostly on things they do/say).

I''m so sorry your husband doesn''t stand up to his mom - it really does seem to make it feel worse, and I hope for your sake he learns to stand up to her. Otherwise, come here and vent! I know it helps me when I''m very frustrated...

 

[CNOS128]

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

We had our wedding at a place in Providence. 40 guests and we came in around $13k....There was no rental fee for the venue.

North shore might not be too bad, you could also consider somewhere in So. NH. My good friend just got married at Turner Mansion in Topsfield. It was AMAZING!!! I vote for a Boston wedding so I can help you plan it

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:02:11 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 1:58:08 PM
Author: Bia
exactly! I feel sorry for FI too because my being sad (and sometimes angry at him - just because he''s the only one there) is making him sad. We shouldn''t have this kind of pressure put on us every.single.year. Parents should seriously know better than to make such a big deal! Holidays should be about kindness, togetherness, sharing...love. Not catty, childlike, selfish parents who don''t understand that it doesn''t always work out the way we plan. She has family all around her but sparing her son is asking too much according to her. God!!!! I''m getting mad just thinking about this now.


FI told me last night that he is really angry at the way she makes him feel. He''s also upset that we didnt'' find out his sister was preggo until Thanksgiving, when she was already 3 months along. He feels he should have known since he''s her brother. But she said she wasn''t telling anyone until 3 months. Only his parents knew. I sort of agree with him. I would never leave my brother out of the loop like that. I told him if how his family treats him is a problem then he should talk to them. He doesn''t want to though...just sulks instead.

The family pressure is so hard on a relationship! Most people I know who do Christmas with their families alternate locations every year. I don''t think it''s reasonable to expect more than that!

Why didn''t his sister tell him about the pregnancy? Or why does he think she didn''t? That would make me feel left out, too.

She''s a little older (39) and that was her reasoning. A lot of people think it''s bad luck/unwise to tell people until the 3rd month - which I understand. However, this is her second pregnancy (her first went very smoothly) and she''s in fantastic health - she''s a professional dancer/instructor and is in amazing shape. Not to mention that it''s her brother, not the entire family. But, I think it''s a reflection of the relationship they have. I told FI that if their relationship isn''t close enough he has to at least make more of an effort. If she doesn''t reciprocate then at least he knows he tried, and can''t be the one to blame. I think he envies my relationship with my brother, as we are very, very close. Best friends and siblings, you know? He sees how close we are, and how close he''s even getting to my brother, and I think he wishes that for him and his sister.

One thing that left me puzzled was that why not tell at least your brother? If you''re telling your parents, why not your brother? FI made a good point: If she''d *God forbid* miscarried, wouldn''t she have told him anyway? Most likely we would have been told, so her reasoning doens''t really fly. I felt sort of stupid at the dinner table when they announced it - like people were wondering why her own brother was getting the news. I felt really bad for him.

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:10:43 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
We had our wedding at a place in Providence. 40 guests and we came in around $13k....There was no rental fee for the venue.

North shore might not be too bad, you could also consider somewhere in So. NH. My good friend just got married at Turner Mansion in Topsfield. It was AMAZING!!! I vote for a Boston wedding so I can help you plan it

don''t tease me HH BECAUSE I''m not too proud to take you up on it!

 

[winelover23]

I''m bored, someone do a trick.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

**cartwheels** "Tada!"

B-seriously. I know a fantastic photographer and DJ.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:25:49 PM
Author: winelover23
I''m bored, someone do a trick.

What? Mother-in-law rants aren''t entertaining?

I have a lady gaga song stuck in my head.

 

[winelover23]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:31:54 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
**cartwheels** ''Tada!''

B-seriously. I know a fantastic photographer and DJ.

10-10-10

 

[winelover23]

Date: 12/2/2009 2:35:24 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/2/2009 2:25:49 PM
Author: winelover23
I''m bored, someone do a trick.

What? Mother-in-law rants aren''t entertaining?

I have a lady gaga song stuck in my head.

P p p p my poker face? Gah that song is ALWAYS in my head!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Lately paparazzi has been stalking my brain

 

[CNOS128]

Err, no...the disco stick one.
it makes me feel dirty though.