The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[random_thought]

For those wondering, this is where I'm at right now *shrugs*

I'm wondering if you O'd on cd16 and that high temp was an outlier.

When I change that high temp to a lower one, it moves ovulation to CD16 lol so either the high temp is the outlier or the low temp 2dpo is the outlier, only time will tell lol. I will say i had more ewcm before cd14 compared to none before cd16 though.

 

[JGator]

Avia, I'm glad to hear you saw your NP and she prescribed something. I hope it helps. You have gone through a lot. Hugs to you.

RT, I think I agree with AMC on your O date. Good luck.

AFM, I went to have my blood/ultrasound yesterday and the follies haven't been making any progress so they upped me to 375 ius of Follistim. My estrogen was only 50-something which is the same as it was 2 days earlier. I am worried they may cancel this IUI as my body doesn't seem to want to cooperate. I go back in bright and early tomorrow AM for another check. Wish me luck.

 

[random_thought]

Well luckily my bases are covered either way!

 

[choro72]

Good luck JGator. Crossing fingers you don't have to wait another cycle.

 

[JGator]

Me again! My estrogen only rose to 62 and the follies were few and far between so my IUI is canceled this cycle. Oh well. I am wondering what's going on. The RE just said the Antral Follicles can go up/down from cycle to cycle and this wasn't a good one for me. She said she would be more concerned if I didn't have 2 good, recent cycles where I did respond to the Follistim. I guess we will try on our own...hoping I can detect an LH surge on the OPKs if there is one.

RT, glad your bases are covered. Fingers crossed for you as always!

Choro, thanks for checking in. I hope all is well with you and your pregnancy.

 

[aviastar]

Rough news, JGator! I'm sorry. Maybe it will nudge DH in the direction of accepting a round of IVF?

 

[monkeyprincess]

JGator, darn, I'm sorry your IUI was cancelled this cycle. I'm glad your RE doesn't seem overly concerned, and hopefully, it was just a fluke. But you're right that you should definitely try on your own anyway. You just never know what might happen. Hang in there! I know you've had a frustrating series of delays and setbacks over the past several months and haven't really had too many months of actually trying. Always hoping for the best for you!

Aviastar, I think it is so great that you talked to your NP. It's crazy how much TTC, infertility and pregnancy loss can affect your entire mindset and life. I honestly think there were times in the past I should have maybe considered getting on something because of how sad and overwhelmed I was at times. Even now that I am finally pregnant again, I just don't feel the joy that I thought I would feel because I'm still so accustomed to expecting to the worst. Don't get me wrong, I am so very grateful to be where I am right now and hopeful all will be well, but I do think those of us who struggle with fertility or who have had a miscarriage suffer from a kind of PTSD even after we get good news. All of that is to say, I think it is very important you recognized you could use a little help right now and that you are putting your health first right now. Once you do have a successful pregnancy, it will be so important that you are in a healthy place.

Random, glad you covered your bases and hope you are able to get a little more clarity.

LC, I hope all is well with you!

SB, thinking of you a lot and hope you are doing as best as can be expected right now.

 

[lliang_chi]

JGator, bummer the IUI was canceled. Maybe your DH will be more willing to go with IVF? I'm glad you had a good holiday none-the-less.

SB, I've been thinking of you during the holidays. Hope you're doing OK

Avia, I'm glad you were able to get some help to get out of your slump. I've also started seeing a therapist too.

RT, funky cycle take 2? Oh for Pete's sake! Sounds like you guys had great timing nonetheless

AFM: CD2 here. My O timing couldn't have been worse and DH was in NO WAY interested in BDing while we were all piled on top of each other (not from lack of trying on my part). We'll try again for next go-round which should be around end of this month. I had a 1st therapy appointment before the holidays and I didn't feel like the 1st therapist was well matched, so I'm going to a different one on Thursday. I realize that I just want to have a plan to try to get out of my funk. The 1st one said, "Well, you're sad. Given your situation that's normal, and I think it'll be fine." Kinda felt like saying, "Well, duh yeah, I'm sad. How do I get UN-sad?" Not much else to add here from my side. Hope 2015 is good news for us all around.

 

[JGator]

LC, great to hear from you. Sorry on timing this cycle, but I completely understand! Agree - let's have 2015 be a GOOD year already!

Avia, thanks for checking in.

Mp, thanks for your well wishes.

Choro, saw your news on the other thread. My thoughts are with you.

AFM, CD 16 - I got a positive OPK on Tuesday. Not sure what that means with low estrogen/follies this cycle, but we tried this cycle anyway. So, I'm in TWW-ville. The RE called and said they will check my LH on CD 3 this time and if it's high, they will not do a cycle/meds the next round. I guess they don't always check for that, but in my case, they should have. I do not think DH is any more ready for IVF now. I think it's just a let's try that IUI #3 again mentality. I'll revisit the topic with him in a couple weeks. Also, I think I would like to see a normal cycle again follie/estrogen wise before committing to IVF anyway so I don't get too invested emotionally and have it canceled on me.

 

[aviastar]

JGator, do you feel that you may not respond to the IVF protocol even though it's more intense than an IUI protocol?

LC, that was the exact point I reached too. I'm sad, I'm on edge and I can't shake it. It's such a weird position to be in, to be able to rationally look at myself and know something is not right but to be actually incapable to fixing it. I hope the new therapist has something a little more concrete to offer. You see her today right? Keep us posted!

Choro, you're in my thoughts.

MP- I'm really glad I talked to her, too. I am also concerned about a future pregnancy- how will I ever get through the first 10 weeks? With my former due date looming, I knew I needed help. I was prescribed zoloft, which is safe for use in pregnancy and for breastfeeding, so I may not stop if I feel like I'd still benefit from it while pregnant.

RT, how goes the two week wait?

AFM, I cannot truly tell you what a difference the zoloft has made. I'm only on 25mg a day, nine days in, but it was immediate and apparent that it was making a difference. Everything is just more even- the tiny things that used to drown me are so much more manageable. I'm happier and my libido is back , both of which make my DH very happy. I would encourage everyone to consider meds if you think you need them, at some point the mental and emotional battle affects us too much, and there is help and hope!

 

[JGator]

Avia, I would like to try IVF, but I think my odds are low either way due to age. In my perfect world, I would not have bothered with any IUIs and gone straight to IVF. My primary concern is age and that something is going on now that my body did not respond at all to the Follistim this cycle. I think if this next cycle appears to be normal again, and I can call this last one a fluke, I would be up for trying to convince DH that it's time for IVF. And, he may be ready on his own by then. Big steps/investments need to be processed by him - he doesn't jump into anything. I'm glad the meds really made an impact for you. That's great news. I will definitely keep that in mind as I go forward with the lows and lows of this process! Also, I have been where you are, and you can and will get to the point of less worry during your pregnancy after loss. After my loss in 2011, I got pregnant 5 months later. I did not buy anything or make plans until after the CVS which I think was 11 or 12 weeks. I breathed a huge sigh of relief at that point, and I would say I had a pretty normal pregnancy after that. I did hold my breath at every ultrasound, but that's probably pretty normal.

 

[split_shank]

Hi ladies! Sorry for falling off the face of the earth, and didn't know where to post this but I figured I spent the most time here so that's where I came back to. The triplets arrived 11/18 at 34/4 weeks! I got checked at a routine office visit, not feeling any different than usual and my Dr said, "you are at 5cm, these babies are coming today." 3 hrs later they were here! The c section wasn't as bad as I thought and was pretty calm considering there were over 22 people in the operating room ready for babies! Jake was 5lb 4 oz, Evan was 5 lbs, and Brooke was 4 lbs. They did great in the NICU and were home at 10,14, and 26 days, mostly for weight gain and learning to take bottles. We are home and learning our new life as a family of 6 day by day!

Continued hope and thoughts for all you lovely ladies!

 

[Laila619]

Hi ladies! Sorry for falling off the face of the earth, and didn't know where to post this but I figured I spent the most time here so that's where I came back to. The triplets arrived 11/18 at 34/4 weeks! I got checked at a routine office visit, not feeling any different than usual and my Dr said, "you are at 5cm, these babies are coming today." 3 hrs later they were here! The c section wasn't as bad as I thought and was pretty calm considering there were over 22 people in the operating room ready for babies! Jake was 5lb 4 oz, Evan was 5 lbs, and Brooke was 4 lbs. They did great in the NICU and were home at 10,14, and 26 days, mostly for weight gain and learning to take bottles. We are home and learning our new life as a family of 6 day by day!

Continued hope and thoughts for all you lovely ladies!

Holy crap, you are amazing Split Shank!!! Way to go for making it to nearly 35 weeks with triplets! Great job and congrats on your little ones!! I hope they are somewhat sleeping for you.

 

[JGator]

Split Shank, Congrats!!! We need pictures. I also hope you are getting sleep and help with your babies. I cannot imagine!

 

[amc80]

SS, big congrats! 34 weeks is so impressive for triplets!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Yay, SS! I was just thinking of you the other day and hoping you would report back at some point. Congratulations on your healthy babies. I can only imagine how much your world has changed in the past couple months. Take good care of yourself and those babies!

 

[random_thought]

RT, how goes the two week wait?

Thanks for asking Nothing exciting to report lol, just ...waiting hahaah oh I crack myself up!

 

[amc80]

RT, how goes the two week wait?

Thanks for asking Nothing exciting to report lol, just ...waiting hahaah oh I crack myself up!

How did you chart end up looking?

 

[lliang_chi]

Wow, big congrats SS!!! Very impressive the triplets made it to 34+ weeks. Great job mama and babies Hoping you guys are all doing well.

 

[tbaus]

Popping in to say SS congratulations on keeping those babies in until 34 weeks! What a mammoth effort.

LC, I'm sorry the first meeting with your therapist didn't go so well. In regards to wanting to feel un-sad- do you have more good days than bad? That was how I knew I was getting better. Also, exercise was a big part for me.

Still cheering you ladies on!

 

[random_thought]

RT, how goes the two week wait?

Thanks for asking Nothing exciting to report lol, just ...waiting hahaah oh I crack myself up!

How did you chart end up looking?

Just poppin by to say that AF showed up today Thinking it might be time to step back and take a break from ttc for awhile. It's just taking such a toll on me, it almost seems less painful to deal with having an only child not by choice than continuing to try and I think that might be my cue unfortunately

 

[JGator]

RT, I am sorry to hear about AF. I understand your need to take a step back. I hope you keep posting here, but completely understand if you need to take a break.

 

[royalasscherlover]

rt, so sorry about AF. I think you are right to take a break when that feels like the less painful option.

ss, congrats!

jgator, I'm sorry to hear you had to cancel your IUI. It's so frustrating when a protocol that has worked before suddenly doesn't and then you have to worry about it for each subsequent cycle - the unexplained 'maybe' is no fun and has definitely increased my stress about this whole process, since I never know what I'm going to get. I hope you have good luck this cycle any way, and if not, I hope the next round goes according to plan.

avia, I'm so glad the Zoloft is helping you. I'm in the same hole and not sure how to get out

lc, thanks for thinking of me. I hope you like this new therapist better and that 2015 is a better year for all of us.

mo, thanks for thinking of me too. I'm glad everything is still going well for you. I hate that these extended infertility struggles take away the joy that we should have when something positive happens - PTSD is exactly right.

We confirmed this week that my beta has come all the way back down, so at least that's good news that no intervention is necessary. Emotionally, I am really struggling - I know it's probably positive to know that I can get pregnant and we 'just' have to find a good embryo, but I'm worried we won't have a good one. We have several more embyros in the freezer, but I've lost faith in their quality. We are contemplating starting over at a new out-of-state center where we can do the full battery of genetic tests so that we can have the best chance of transferring a good embryo - or know for sure that we can't make genetically normal blasts. The idea of starting over is daunting, but I also know I have limited emotional resources to keep struggling. It's been over two years, I am exhausted, and nothing about this gets any easier. My DH is tired of seeing me so upset and we're trying to figure out how to shortcut the process and get to the eventual end, whatever that may be. I'm not ready to give up yet, but I am close - 2015 will probably be the year that makes or breaks me

 

[Loves Vintage]

Still following along with you ladies and wanted to chime in . . .

JGator - I am sorry about your last cycle. How frustrating? Did your clinic ever say why they did not do that testing on CD3?

SB - Sorry to hear that you are feeling down. You have been through a lot. One day, you will see the light at the end of this long tunnel, and it will be a beautiful light. Here are my thoughts on your recent post. Has your clinic given you grades for each of your embryos? I wonder if you have produced chromosomally normal embryos, but they are of low quality. If you do decide to go to another clinic, know that you can have your existing embryos transferred and tested as well, but they will have to be thawed and re-frozen, which I was told is not a problem/does not affect their viability. If the distance is great, you can hire a company to handle the transfer. In my case, the distance was very short (like 10 miles), so my husband handled the transfer. Here is what happened. My first RE was evasive as to the quality of my embryos. (I can't believe I wasn't more aggressive in asking, but it is such an emotional process AND what did I know at that point? I should have asked, but trusted the RE instead, and figured that was that, that I wasn't entitled to more information.) The best one was transferred at his practice, but did not make it. When the remaining three were transferred to new RE, they told me that they were very concerned, that their quality was so low, basically, they would not have saved them. (Sorry, I know I have posted all of this before, so hope I don't seem repetitive.) I do think that the way the embryos were handled at first clinic affected their quality. Here's the thing -- two of those three were chromosomally normal. I have to assume the one that was transferred was also chromosomally normal, and that one was the "best" quality, but didn't take. The other two that were chromosomally normal never would have made it because they showed no growth after thawing. I would bet money that my former RE would have transferred them anyway! Finally, my point, I do think the reason that some clinics have remarkably higher success rates is because of their lab practices. I know everyone is different. I know I've posted a lot of this before. Maybe you will find something helpful from my experience. I wish you much luck this year.

Have you ever checked out the Resolve Boards on Inspire? There is a lot of experience there, even if you just search around and don't post.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, big hugs to you. I'm sorry you are feeling confused about how to move forward. I really do think it is important to be proactive if you are losing faith in your current clinic/RE. But I also understand how daunting the idea of starting over somewhere else or going through additional testing at this point would be. I would at least want a second opinion though to make sure you are giving yourselves the best chance. I do not at all see your situation as a hopeless case based on what you've shared. I really want you to get your happy ending, in whatever way that ends up happening, and I think it is going to happen.

Random, thinking of you. It's such a tough place to be and deciding when enough is enough. You really just have to trust yourself and do what you think is best for you and your family.

JGator, how are you holding up? Keeping everything crossed for an unexpected surprise!

LC, I hope your second therapist was a better fit or that you are at least able to find a way to start feeling better and more like yourself. I wish there was some magical way to get over the sadness and anxiety. What I'm really hoping will happen is that you will have great timing next cycle and finally have a healthy baby on the way.

Aviastar, I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better!

Thinking of you all a lot and always hoping for the best!

 

[JGator]

MP, did you have your next scan? How are the babies? Thanks for checking in.

LV, the RE never said why they didn't check my LH on CD 3 - just that they normally don't check it.

SB, where are you thinking of going? Can you do a phone consult to at least get an opinion? I like LV's idea of potentially testing the embryos you do have. You have quite a few right? Good luck. I think 2015 is your year.

AFM, hanging in there. TWW-ville. My DH is out of town so I'm busier than usual taking care of K so that's good. I'm 8 DPO according to FF.

 

[monkeyprincess]

JGator, keeping busy is the best way for time to pass quickly! I did have my NT scan today. I will have to wait until early next week for the results, but from what I could tell the NT measurements and the babies looked normal. Our sonographer was not friendly and didn't give us any information though, so that is just my layperson assessment.

 

[JGator]

MP, bummer they didn't tell you anything. But, sounds like things are progressing fine. That's good! Can't wait to hear the results next week.

 

[royalasscherlover]

Thanks all for your thoughts, I appreciate them. To answer a couple questions, I do know the grades of all of our current embryos and the ones we've transferred so far have all been very good and been re-expanding before transfer, so it seems like it's either something else with the embryos and/or lab quality. I've had a phone consult with the potential new RE already, and while they obviously want to re-run all my tests themselves, based on the records from my current RE they are optimistic about my chances of success - he was actually very consistent with my current RE. I don't think I'm a lost cause, but it worries me that the docs have had expectations of success for a long time now and the reality hasn't come close to those expectations. I have never regretted being proactive during this process, but it's a big move to start over with all the testing and another fresh cycle. Plus our insurance only covers us at our current center, so it would be a big financial undertaking as well.

We're meeting with the current RE for our cycle follow-up next week and will hopefully have a better idea what to do after that. I am planning to ask him about testing our remaining embryos then.

(Re-reading, sorry if I sound irritated. I'm not, just really tired and still very sad when I think about fertility stuff. I do appreciate all of your support!)

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, it sounds to me like you are taking all the right steps, and it must be reassuring to hear the RE you consulted with is pretty much in agreement with your current RE. The re-testing and insurance issues are huge, though, so I completely understand your hesitancy to switch. One issue I see people discuss a lot over on the Resolve boards is reproductive immunology issues, which some doctors believe can inhibit implantation or cause chemical pregnancies. I know nothing about it or how credible the science is, but it would be something worth discussing. I agree that if there is a way to safely test the embryos, that would also be useful information. I just feel for you because I can only imagine how frustrating it is. Just know you can count on my thoughts and prayers!

Thinking of everybody else!