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The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

Tammy, I just found this on the SHER fertility clinic's website. I hope it helps.

"The presence of small surface lesions that protrude into the uterine cavity can interfere with embryo implantation. These can be (and often are) missed, unless proper inspection by a hysterosonogram, hysteroscopy or an MRI is done.The use of a dye X-ray test (hysterosalpingogram) is inadequate to identify small endometrial polyps, or small fibroids (see this article on Uterine Fibroids)"
 
How interesting, thank you Bright! So it seems like the hystersonogram is a good idea. I did read somewhere that the lap is comparable (if not better) than the HSG for tube issues sometimes too. So that's encouraging. It's just sooo invasive compared to what I had hoped for, sigh.

Ah well, you are absolutely right that it's great that he's taking me/my care seriously! Thanks again. :)

I'll keep you all posted! ::)
 
Tammy, that's really interesting. I just read a book that was very pro-laparoscopy & surgery as treatment to underlying issues (vs drugs or jumping to IVF) but I can't quite wrap my brain around how it's done. Do you know if it requires an incision?

The book also talked about ovarian wedge resection surgery as a treatment for pcos. I sure like the idea of something "fixing" the pcos but it also sounds pretty invasive & carries risks of adhesions plus any regular risks that go with surgery.

Do keep us posted as things develop. As always, hoping & praying for the best for you (and all the lovely ladies here) in the least amount of time. =)
 
Tammy :appl: :appl: :appl: I hope taht you get a great offer letter soon! I know how hard it can be to plan for work-life while TTC. I have switched jobs twice while TTC and was very worried each time (in retrospect...hahahahahha :rolleyes: since clearly it was a non-issue ;)) ) but I am constantly figuring timelines of what would happen when if we got pregnant and/or started another adoption.

Bright-I really hope that the of cycle miracle that several other PSers have had happens to you too!!!!

So interesting re all these treatment options, etc. Tammy, it is great that your Dr is so communicative and proactive!

Hope that we all get some answers and some successful treatments soon!

AFM-As of yesterday I am pretty much feeling normal, no more bleeding for the past few days (uh-mazing!!!! I forgot what it felt like to not be on my period since it has been almost 3 months!) and yesterday the cramps finally stopped and I started being able to lift heavier things (like my son :love: :love: :love: ). I have acupuncture tomorrow morning and know that she wants to start Herbs :knockout: At this point, I'll have no idea what works, but I want to just do everything I can--I had the D&C, now I'll have weekly or bi weekly acupuncture, daily herbs, and I am going to start fertility yoga as soon as my DVD arrives and will try to take a 30 minute walk everyday with my son...

The next step is trying to lose some weight, but that feels really overwhelming right now, so I am just trying to eat better and once the above are all incorporated this month, maybe next month I can start more aggressively trying to lose weight...
 
((((((((((((((( HUGS Bright )))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to come on and see your disappointing news.
 
Happy Monday, ladies!

Bella, I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better and that things seem like they are back to normal.

Pave, any news??

Firecracker, it's great to hear you had such a good response to the injectibles. I hope all continues to go well!!

Bright, it makes a lot of sense to take this cycle off. You have been through a lot both emotionally and physically. And you just never know what will happen anyway, right?

Tammy, any news on the job front? Also, what was the final decision regarding what your doctor recommends? Are you having a lap?

Hello to anyone I may have missed and thank you to those of you who continue to cheer us all on!

This is a big week for DH and me on the fertility front. Today, he goes in to give his sample for the SA. On Wednesday, I go in for a hysterosonogram, and then on Friday, I have the diagnostic mammogram. I'm excited and nervous for all three, but mostly just looking forward to getting answers.
 
It got awfully quiet around here! Any news or updates from anyone?

I had the hysterosonogram this morning, and it was more uncomfortable than I thought it would be. I had a LOT of intense cramping and then felt extremely nauseous and very weak at the end. Thankfully, I had DH drive me, b/c I wouldn't have been in good shape to drive through downtown Chicago traffic. I was so nauseous that I actually ended up throwing up (on the side of the highway, no less - lovely!). With that said, about an hour later I was fine.

The good news is that everything looks good and clear, and apparently, I have lots of follicles in my left ovary. The u/s tech actually said my left ovary "looks pretty." So that's positive!

We should have the results from DH's SA by midweek next week. Then I'll go in for the day 21 blood draw next Friday.

That's all from me! Hope everyone is doing well.
 
Hi girls,

Curly I'm glad your hsg went well, aside from throwing up. :knockout: Sorry I have been MIA. We're in new york still for vacation with dh's family. The girls love it here and it's been a good week. I don't have much of an update about the job front, but I am hopeful still. They called my references and said that they were impressed by me. They also said that I would be a huge asset to their dept once I joined them. So aside from the fact that they still haven't gotten back to me even though the reference check was 2 days ago, I'm feeling pretty good about it.

On the ttc front, meh. Bfn on 10 dpo. Yes, I packed wondfos. :oops:
 
Curly, I'm glad you had a positive result from the hysterosonogram but so sorry about the pain & vomiting! I'm glad your dh was with you.  Hopefully you'll have a lot more answers very soon & a plan to move forward. 

Tammy, sounds really promising regarding the job situation! Some times these things take time but that's wonderful that they checked your references & gave you such good feedback. 
I'm glad you guys are enjoying your vacation! Are you in the city or another part of ny state?
So sorry about the bfn. It's still early though. Hoping & praying you get good news soon. 

Pave, any news? Crossing everything you get a bfp very soon!

Bella, woo hoo for the end or bleeding!  I'm so glad you're feeling better at last. Good luck with the herbs & acupuncture & good eating. I'm very eager to hear how things progress now that the polyps have been removed. 

Jen, thanks for the hugs. Yep, pretty disappointing. What's up with you? Are you doing another retrieval cycle or is it time to transfer soon?  So excited for you!

Ltl, how are you doing? Any symptoms? Hoping for good news soon!

Hi to anyone I missed. 

Afm, cd 10 here & af is still kind of lingering (spotting for several days), which is annoying. I went to a hematologist yesterday to double check the blood clotting stuff & 13 vials of blood (& oddly, some free cookies) later, I'm now waiting 10 days or so for results. I'm hoping for more clarification or some good news to put my mind at ease as I've been paranoid about getting a blood clot since that initial diagnosis. 

Another rant about my insensitive pregnant friend if I may? I mentioned the mammoth blood draw yesterday & she said she'd rather have that than have to collect her urine for the day, which she is doing today for some test. This is not
the first time she's compared something I'm going through (in the hopes of attaining a successful pregnancy) to something she's going through (she's at 39 weeks now) saying she'd rather have to do what I'm doing than what she is. It's pretty incredible. 
 
Bright, I'm so sorry about your friend. I don't know much about your relationship other than her insensitive comments but I had a *friend* who I enjoyed spending time with but she was extremely self-centered. We both got pregnant around the same time. I had been trying for 5 months and she tried once - because, in her words, her body does what she tells it. :roll: I just wasn't able to keep up our friendship because she became even more self-centered and insensitive while pregnant. It was just too much. Sometimes, I like to think that she's changed now that she's a mom but I doubt it. Guess I'll never find out!

Tammy, boo to the BFN! I've been following the other exciting things going on in your life though and...woohoo!
 
Pupp, I'm sorry about your friend. Some people really just don't have a sense of how what they say affects others. My pregnant friend in question is one of my closest (& has been since high school).  She's a good person but doesn't react well to stress & can say some pretty stupid & insensitive things. I usually try to let it roll off my back as much as possible.  Today I did respond a bit- I said I'd rather be pregnant than infertile. (wink) Hope she got the point. 
Hope you're feeling well & baking away!
 
Bright, just had to say "You Go Girl!" on your response to your friend. Love it! :love: Hope the blood test results come back with good news for you. You are a trooper for giving that much blood! I so don't miss the TTC blood draws. Now, I dread the weigh-ins, but that is nothing compared to being stuck with needles, and no where near as frequent! When is your appt with your new RE that you are interviewing?

Curly, happy to hear you have nice, pretty follicles!

Tammy, have fun on vacation. Sounds promising on the job front, too. Fingers and toes crossed for an offer soon!
 
Jgator, thanks! I hope that wasn't too catty. I debated saying something but I hope I got my point across in a friendly manner. 
The interview with the new RE is on September 11.  I'm eager to talk to him but also a little nervous. 
How far along are you now? Glad to hear the pregnancy appointments are slightly less invasive (weigh ins aside).
 
Bright, LOVE that sassy response. Good for you! Sometimes people need a blunt response to get the point!
 
Bright, I am so sorry that your friend is insensitive! great response!!!!

Pupp and JGator, hope that things are going smoothly with your pregnancies, thanks for checking up on us over here :appl:

My herbs arrived today, I am sort of afraid to open them. 4 scoops dissolved in water sounds like a lot! and I have to take them twice a day :knockout: I am going out in the morning to get mouthwash so that I can follow Bright's procedure:-)

AfM, not much else. I am peeing on OPKs every couple days b/c I am interested to see when I O and keep forgetting to take my temp in the mornings:-) So far, they are totally white.

We're just taking things one day at a time, but it is so good to feel like myself again!

Also, my Fertility Yoga DVD just arrived, so I am going to start it. it has 4 different sets to use during different phases of the cycle: menstrual, follicular, ovulatory, and luteal. I guess I should do follicular until I start to see something on an OPK and then shift to ovulatory...we'll see.
 
Yay Bright I am so glad you said that to your friend. You know what? It's not catty at all, it's honest, and anybody with half a brain cell would know that to make the ridiculous comparisons she does to your respective situations.

Bella, I am glad to read you're feeling more like yourself.

CurlySue, glad to hear everything is looking good for you so far. Sending dust for your dh's SA.

Tammy, boo to the bfn. Yay to a promising situation on the job front... Dust to you!

Ltl, any updates?

AFM, on day three of stims for my third and final ivf retrieval cycle. Just kind of going through the motions at this point of it. I feel like an old pro at it by now, wish I didn't! Hopefully our results will be decent. We will be doing our first transfer probably at the end of September.
 
Hello everyone. Still have limited Internet but I thought I would check in.

Curley Sue - I am sorry your HSG was such a discomfort, but I'm glad everything is normal.

bright - I am sorry about your friend. I do hope everything is ok for her.

Tammy - sorry about the BFN, but I hope the job front gives you goof news

Jen- thinking positive thoughts for you!

Bella - I am glad the bleeding stops and hope you enjoy the yoga. I personally love it. I don't understand why something for infertility would not take into account that not everyone has a normal cycle.

afm -the post O US showed that all 3 eggs ovulated. Serum HCG on Monday. I did test out my HCG, so I will likely test this weekend. My insurance chanced, so after this cycle I have to get a new referral 8-)
 
Curly, I forgot to mention, I am so sorry that your HSG was so uncomfortable and made you feel so sick :knockout: I'm glad that you are on the mend!

:wavey: LtFirecracker!
 
Hi Everyone. I feel so behind but I will do my best to get caught up! Im going from back to front

Ltlfirecracker Waah! Three eggs thats so awesome!! Hope this is your month. It would be perfect so you wouldn't even need a new referral maybe? How are you feeling? Are you symptom spotting? I hope you are staying busy and happy. I never am very good at the waiting part. I'll be checking in to see what the results are. This month was the longest I have ever held off in testing and it really helped me- but Monday is right after the weekend so it seems like perfect timing! Fingers (and toes) crossed!

Jen Hi Jen! Good to see you. You are on a new cycle already? You work quickly, lol. So did you have a retrieval two weeks ago? How was it? Thanks for your support earlier in my cycle :) I hope time flies and you get to your transfer lickety split!

Bella I was so scared for the herbs. I never really found anyone here who prescribes them so I did not go that route but I didn't want to, lol. My brother takes herbs and I remember I used to call it bug juice- after he would boil them then drink the brown juice :lickout:
Im glad you are feeling more like yourself. that is great news! I love the idea of the yoga too. I think I'm going to try and start that soon. Oh about the opks- what kind do you use? You have long cycles is that right? If you have the fade in fade out kind I guess I would skip a day but if not I would worry you might miss your surge? Not to add stress to an already stressful situation. Just my thoughts. I know all these supplies are expensive- I got the ones on amazon I think they are pretty affordable and you can poas to your hearts delight. If you already know all of this please ignore me ;)

Jgator and PuppMom Hi! Hope you are feeling fine. thanks for always coming over and supporting us.

Bright Sorry your cycle is lingering :(. So annoying. I think you are smart to take some time off. I find all of this stuff very draining. I don't know what is up with your friend. Not very nice though. It might be you could accept the fact that you won't get the support you desire from her and just keep your chats short and short (sweet, just kidding). I don't know it's tough though when you have been friends for so long.

Tammy How exciting you are on vacation! I hope you are having a blast. I would have brought tests too but I hope you get to relax. How great that things are looking up on the job front. I am the worst "waiter" for things and just obsess so I understand wanting to hear back from them asap. How's everything else with the move/relo etc? Oh! I forgot to say- would it be possible to get a second opinion somewhere before you have surgery and/or ask about doing the less invasive test prior to surgery and why he would not want to do that first? I don't want you to waste time but it makes sense to take it step by step to me. Just my two cents...

Curly Thanks for asking about me! I have been trying to stay away from computers so I didnt spend too much time on ps recently. I'm glad you are getting your testing done so quickly and things look good so far. Not glad that your hsg was so painful. The ride home did not sound fun. I was scared mine was going to be that bad but it wasn't. It did hurt but I was also extremely anxious so I don't think that helped. Are you feeling better now?

Monkey princessthanks for the good wishes! How are you feeling?

I think I got everyone. If I missed anyone I'm sorry.

AFM you guys I have news! I can't quite believe it but it worked! I felt some little things over the past week or so and was starting to get really hopeful- Took a test mid day yesterday cause I was starting to go bonkers and it showed right away and got dark right away too- I told dh and he was upset I tested early, lol. Beta was supposed to be tomorrow. Anyhoo took a clear blue digi this morning and that showed up super quick too. I went in for a beta today and it was 192. I'm feeling good, tired, a little nauseous but feel better when I eat. Having some cramps on and off. thats really about it. I still can't believe it. I will be soooo happy when I get to 7w u/s and then past the first tri but I'm doing my best to be optomistic and positive. I cannot thank you guys enough for your support here. It's so hard to not have many people irl who understand this stuff. I saw the doctor really quick today and he said he heard I was really into the accupuncture and maybe that helped? I dunno. I took co q 10 and dhea for the two weeks before retrieval and also took omega 3. I got accupuncture before retireval (overkill?), before and after transfer, and twice a week during the tww. Have no idea what helped but am thrilled.
 
Yay Pave! So happy for you. Dust for a healthy baby and pregnancy. I hope you are leading off a baby boom over here.

Bright, boo to your friend. Hopefully she will someday learn to have a little empathy for others. Very ridiculous to compare her situation to yours. Neither is fun, but come on, she is doing all of that be ause she is a week away from a baby! Sheesh. Hope you find some answers to your spotting and clotting concerns. You continue to be in my thoughts!

Tammy, fingers crossed that you get an offer soon!

Good luck to everyone else!Y
 
:appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: Yay Pave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best wishes for a sticky bean and a wonderfully smooth pregnancy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
PAVE!!!!!! HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!! So thrilled for you!!! Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!!! :appl: :appl: :appl:

Bright, I get so mad when I hear about the ridiculous things your friend says to you. You definitely sound like you handle it much better than I would!!! Grrr.... Happy you had a snappy little comeback for her. I hope the 10 days you wait for news from the hemotologist go by quickly. Waiting stinks, regardless of what you're waiting for.

Firecracker, 3 eggs??? Nice!! Fingers crossed that this is it for you.

Tammy, very exciting to hear that they have called your references. This job prospect sounds *really* promising! I hope you hear something soon!

Jen, good to hear from you. I really, really hope this is your cycle. When I read your posts, I get really inspired by how gracefully you handle this arduous process.

Bella, I gotta admit - I'm dying to hear how those herbs taste. I'm also intrigued by your yoga DVD!!

:wavey: to pupp, MP, JGator, and anyone else I may have missed!
 
Congratulations Pave!! Sending loads of sticky, healthy baby dust your way.
 
BrightSpot|1344464731|3248136 said:
Pupp, I'm sorry about your friend. Some people really just don't have a sense of how what they say affects others. My pregnant friend in question is one of my closest (& has been since high school).  She's a good person but doesn't react well to stress & can say some pretty stupid & insensitive things. I usually try to let it roll off my back as much as possible.  Today I did respond a bit- I said I'd rather be pregnant than infertile. (wink) Hope she got the point. 
Hope you're feeling well & baking away!
Click to expand...

Hey bright, I'm sorry about your friend's insensitivity. For added context, an all day urine draw means she is being tested for pre-eclampsia most likely, which is a life threatening condition for pregnant women and very scary :blackeye: That could contribute to her lack of self-editing if she reacts badly to stress. ETA: Maybe you guys should talk about how her comments make you feel, and she might have some feelings she wants to share, too? I'm sorry to say but her complaining will get worse once baby is here -- would be nice for you both if she would learn to complain without comparing it to your situation, or if you don't want to hear her complaints at all, she needs to know :))
 
Pave: I am so happy for you!!! Sticky dust my friend!!
 
Pave!!!! Huge congrats to you! I'm thrilled to hear your first ivf worked & your beta result is super strong too. Big hugs & lots of dust for a healthy pregnancy & baby!

Bella, lol about my herb taking protocol. I hope it helps. Do you have to cook the herbs or just stir & drink? Good luck! I'm glad to hear you're feeling like yourself again. 
How's the fertility yoga?

Jen, good luck with your final stim-retrieval cycle. I hope it goes more smoothly this time. Are you doing the same protocol every time? 
I'm so excited for your transfer next month! Lots of good, healthy egg vibes your way!

Ltl, hurray for 3 follies! Crossing my fingers that you have some good news to report this weekend. 

Thanks, Pupp & Jgator & mp. I think of you guys often & really appreciate your continued support. Hugs. 

Thanks, curly. Usually I bite my tongue (& stew) but I couldn't yesterday. It was just one of those days. I hope you & your dh have a relaxing weekend planned & get some good test results next week. 

Tammy, hope you're enjoying your vacation & have good news to share soon!

Dreamer, thank you so much for your post. Of course, you're right on both counts. (as you usually seem to be!)
I just did a search on Pre-e & its scary indeed! I don't think she's having any other symptoms except slightly elevated bp so hopefully everything will be ok. I'm glad her doc is being proactive. 
That's almost assuredly true her complaints won't end with the pregnancy & will probably increase after LO is here. Thanks for the advice. I wrote her (what I thought to be) a kind, understanding yet honest email. Hopefully she reacts well. 
Hope you're doing well, sage lady. 

As for my friend, thanks to everyone for letting me vent & sympathizing. For all her wonderful qualities, empathy isn't always one of them. Perhaps she tries to make light to help me feel better, but it ends up doing the opposite. I also think that maybe the emotions that go with these fertility troubles are hard to understand unless you've experienced them yourself. In any case,  I'm glad to have you guys here to draw support from & talk to about this stuff.  

Speaking of talking to people about fertility woes, I'm curious how many of you share what's going on with people IRL & if you do, with whom do you share? Dh & I started out not wanting anyone to know we were ttc, but as time passed & things got more & more difficult we wound up telling a (very) few people. Among them, Dh told his dad, who told his mom, who is a blabber mouth (one of the main reasons we didn't want to tell people) & now she's told at least 1 bil/sil & maybe the other set too (plus who knows how many others?)
If you shared, how much info did you share? Did you find it helpful to talk about it or did it just bring I welcomed interference/advice?

Thanks & sorry for the super long post. 
 
Pavelover, congratulations!! Tons of sticky dust!

Bright, hugs sweetie. I am sorry your friend is being a pill. As for telling people about infertility, the only person DH and I told was my mom. And that in retrospect was dumb because she just didn't get it. I think people don't really understand unless they go through it themselves. Like I would try to explain to her about taking injectables, and she would roll her eyes and say, "You don't need that nonsense." I also think a lot of people take having a baby for granted.

Ltlfirecracker, 3 follicles is great! I sure hope this is your month!! DUST!

Lots of luck to everyone else. I am rooting for you.
 
BrightSpot|1344540101|3248675 said:
Speaking of talking to people about fertility woes, I'm curious how many of you share what's going on with people IRL & if you do, with whom do you share? Dh & I started out not wanting anyone to know we were ttc, but as time passed & things got more & more difficult we wound up telling a (very) few people. Among them, Dh told his dad, who told his mom, who is a blabber mouth (one of the main reasons we didn't want to tell people) & now she's told at least 1 bil/sil & maybe the other set too (plus who knows how many others?)
If you shared, how much info did you share? Did you find it helpful to talk about it or did it just bring I welcomed interference/advice?
Click to expand...

I think this is an interesting (and important) topic. Fertility issues and miscarriages seem so difficult to talk about, yet it's such a stressful and emotional thing that it's really important to have an outlet (as we all clearly know, since this is one of our outlets!). I see Laila responded, and I'll give a bit of a different view.

When DH and I started TTC, my sister and a few very close friends knew. As time went on, I expressed to them my concerns about how long it was taking from time to time, but it wasn't a constant source of conversation. When I got pregnant in December, I only told my sister... but then when I miscarried, I actually told a bunch of people what had happened - both of my parents, my sister, and about a half-dozen friends. My main reasoning in telling these people was that I needed them to understand how I was feeling, because I knew I would be emotionally withdrawn for awhile, and I didn't want them to wonder what was going on.

The other thing is that DH and I are "older" (I'll be 37 in September, DH will be 40 in a few weeks). Nearly all the friends I told are around the same age and only started having kids recently, and some of them have had their own challenges. So I felt like they would "get it."

I also told a few people at work, because I had to cancel some very important meetings to have the D&C done. They were incredibly sympathetic, understanding, and didn't pry for details, which I appreciated greatly.

Now that it's well over a year of TTC and we are still hoping for a healthy pregnancy, I've actually become pretty comfortable telling people - I think because it's become part of who I am, you know? How much I share depends on who I'm talking to. My parents don't know that we are going through testing right now. I assume they know we are TTC, but I feel like that's more than they need to know right now. Eventually I will tell them. My sister (who conceived her daughter through IUI after a year of TTC) knows everything. A few of my close friends know mostly everything we have gone through. And a few people at work know that we've started testing.

For the most part, it helps me a great deal. I tend to keep a lot of my emotions locked up inside, and I've realized that I need to let them out more often. And I think that when I allow myself to talk to other people - when I hear myself talking about it - I am able to let my emotions out. I had a very, very good cry with a few close friends about a month ago, and it actually completely rejuvenated my spirits... I think because they didn't judge me and just let me share.

The other positive is that as I've told people, I've found several other people who have gone through similar struggles (that's how I ended up finding a friend at work), so I've built a small network of people who can relate to me, can give me advice, etc.

It's not ALL positive, but anytime you open up to someone by sharing something very personal, you take a risk, right? So yeah - a few people don't get it and have said insensitive or uneducated things, but considering they've never walked in my shoes, I try (key word = try!!) not to take it personally. The people I've told are people I really, really trust, and I know they have good intentions. So for me, that's a key factor in deciding to share with them.

Sorry for the super-long post! Hope that helps in some way.
 
Bright its hard for all of us to try and see things from another person's perspective, certainly. I would not be surprised if your friend is feeling some of the same feelings you are having, about the miscomminications or awkward/hurt feelings you have had. It could be as hard for her to not be able to share openly with you as it is for you not to be able to share openly with her. I'm not saying she wasn't a tool, she was, but if she has been a good friend in the past you have to assume good intentions, no? And infertility is such a value laden topic -- not only the pain of TTC and the stresses of that process, but also it seems there is a lot of judgement, of women in particular, when they "can't get pregnant". At least that is what I have observed. It likely harkens back to when women's entire value was as breeding machines :rolleyes: Anyways, I have not experience infertility personally, and only know anything at all about it because so many of my courageous PS friends have been open and honest about their experiences, as have some of my good friends in real life. And its a topic that interests me (TTC and fertility) so I read and follow along. But I can say with certainty that people who have not experienced infertility have NO idea what the "appropriate" things are to say, or how to talk about it (or not talk about it), or how to offer support, or -- and this is a touchy thing -- how to talk about the negative aspects of pregnancy and childbirth and parenthood with friends who are TTC and facing challenges :blackeye: It can be such a strain on a friendship, I have found, in my personal life. Better to be open. But I know its hard. I too sometimes just hope awkwardness will go away in my friendships when I should just talk about it head on.
 
Curly & Laila, thank you both for your posts. It really helps to hear about your experiences. If anyone else would like to chime in, I'd love to discuss further. 

Curly, I'm so glad you've found such a wonderful support network. Infertility & miscarriage are so difficult to go through & people don't tend to talk much about it, but it's amazing how many people can open up & be supportive when given the opportunity. I too tend to be a very private person so it sort of feels awkward to talk about such a personal thing but it's getting to the point lately that my conversations are so surface with people who don't know. It's hard to smile & say everything is fine when it isn't. And yes, I do know about it becoming part of who you are. I see myself very differently than I did 2 years ago before this process began. 

Laila, I'm sorry about your mom's reaction. Some people really don't get it. As I recall, the injections worked? :)

Dreamer, thank you for your post & your perspective. Oddly enough, one of the things I often enjoy most about my friend is that her perspective is sometimes different than mine in a way that is enlightening to me. Sometimes, though, she's not great at intuiting what others are thinking (I've encountered this for years.) I'm sure you're right that she may well have hurt feelings too & I hope that my email to her has opened lines of communication to discuss her feelings as well. I did email her a month or 2 ago to talk about pregnancy stuff & express my sorrow that I couldn't be more involved in the day to day excitement of her pregnancy. She & I are on opposite coasts & rarely see each other but do communicate regularly. The current situation is neither of our faults, but has probably made it harder for both of us to negotiate our friendship.  Again, I really appreciate your urging me to reach out to her. 
If you're interested in sharing, I'm curious how you've negotiated talking about negative aspects of parenthood/pregnancy with friends who are ttc/struggling. 

I'm in a bit of a pickle right now with dh's brother. I've recently confided in his wife (who had 2 miscarriages & now has the cutest, happiest baby ever) & she's been really supportive. It's been helpful for me to talk to someone who has been through something similar & understands. She mentioned talking to her husband (dh's brother) about this, mentioning it might be nice for dh to have someone to talk to about this who understands. Which is true. Except that dh & his brother had a fight over a year ago &, despite dh reaching out on several occasions, his brother has been very frosty to him since. So dh doesn't really want to be in a vulnerable position right now. (Also he feels awkward talking to this brother when his other brother supposedly doesn't know about what we're going through.) In a way I think if dh's brother knew, surely he would be more compassionate & understanding but I'm pretty surprised at how he's behaved this last year, so there's definitely a possibility that my dh could just be hurt even further if this got out. 
What would you do? Encourage them
to talk or ask that sil not share our conversations with her hubby?

(dreamer, if you're still reading feel free to weigh in too.  By the way, though I didn't post in this thread, I was very moved by some of your advice in the dealing with difficult parents thread. Thanks.) ::)
 
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