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The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

Ooh, Bright. That is a bit of a sticky situation! I take it your SIL isn't aware of the awkwardness between her DH and yours?

If it was my DH and me in that scenario, I would probably talk to him first before I gave the go-ahead to SIL to fill in her husband. When it comes to matters involving DH's family, I usually defer to him regarding what he feels comfortable with. With that said, if I feel strongly about something, I'll urge him in a certain direction, but ultimately I leave the decision up to him how to handle it... and he does the same with me when it comes to my family.

I'm not sure if you've talked to him about it already, but maybe you can mention to your DH what your SIL suggested and see how he feels about it. Does he know you have confided in her and how it has helped you? Perhaps he won't be ready to talk to his brother now, but over time he may feel more of a need to reach out to him, since he's been in a similar situation.
 
Bright Your are a sweet lady with the compliments ::) I'm glad you enjoyed my posts. Thanks for letting me tag along and follow your journey here too.

How to talk about my own negative experiences with pregnancy or parenting with friends who are struggling... I do have a few close friends who have dealt with miscarriage(s) when TTC2 and my best friend is currently dealing with secondary infertility with her second husband. It was hard to know how to talk to my two friends who had miscarriages while I was pregnant. Mostly I avoided talking about my own pregnancy too much, unless they asked. I knew from following threads like this one and others on PS how it makes people feel to discuss another person's pregnancy after they themselves had a loss, so I knew to let my friends be the guides of the conversation. My best friend who is stuggling with secondary infertility is very open with me about her testing and everything. We talk about it all. And I talk about my issues too. But because she has a son, its likely a slightly different scenerio in terms of her feelings about things.

Anyways, I will say this: reading threads like has taught me a lot about how other people feel when struggling to TTC, and it has helped me in my real life. Not only in helping me be more sensitive, but also in being able to tell my friends about different medical tests or understanding what medications they may use. So thanks to all of you for sharing!
 
Hi girls,

I only have a minute on my phone, still in ny. Things are busy and I'm worn out. Ready to go back to work to rest! Pave, HUGE congrats! Sticky dust to you. :)

A little depressing update. No go on the job I was most confident about and hoping for and I'm cramping as I type, pretty sure af won't even wait til tomorrow :(. I do have a 2nd interview and another one that's just been scheduled for another college. So who knows what's in store for me but I'm definitely tired of this ride.

Hugs to all and sorry for such a downer post!
 
Hi Everyone! I wanted to thank all of you for the positive wishes and sticky vibes you all sent me- I'm feeling fine but a bit nervous of course. I did take a second beta on Saturday and it more than doubled to 543, which is good. I'm not sure if I will do anymore betas, so I feel like it's going to be a long almost 3 more weeks to my first u/s. Anyway that's really it for me but I wanted to respond to some of your posts.

Tammy I'm so sorry to hear that the job did not work out. I wish you good luck with the rest of the interviews- especially the 2nd interview- that's great news!! Sorry about the AF symptoms also. When is your next appointment? Hugs. I know it's not easy to see the witch showing up.

Brightspot I thought I would reply about who I talk to about IF. I have always been an oversharer (lol) and have really tried to curb that in the past few years. When it comes to TTC I had a difficult time with my first experience being pregnant 5 years ago- it ended with a blighted ovum and d&C. I think I told EVERYONE (I'm not kidding) I was pregnant so people were always asking me about the pregnancy and it was awful. My fault for sure but I just did not deal very well with the whole experience and really regretted telling so many people in the first place since it was very very early. After that I definitely shied (sp?) away from telling so many people, but still told close friends and family. Three plus years later and dealing with ART definitely made me less eager to share. I wasn't embarassed but knew the chances of success were tough and I just didn't want to have to keep telling everyone kwim? I think it's important to have someone to talk to irl but I noticed some people don't really know what to say if they have not dealt with it themselves. I tried to find people who have been through similar experiences to share with because I knew they would understand what I was feeling. Also, I often felt (feel) kind of guilty because I am already blessed with my son and I know there are many still struggling to have a first baby. It doesn't hurt less to deal with infertility when you already have a child but you are definitely conscious of the fact that your situation is not the same. I don't really have any wisdom to share but just thought I would share my experience.
I'm not sure what I would do about your bil and husband- if your dh is not open to it I don't think I would push it. My dh is so different than me- I look at my family as a source of support- telling my mom means more prayers, good thoughts etc and someone I can lean on (don't get me wrong I have had plenty of drama with my mom and lots of boundary issues). He didn't even want to tell his mom what we were going through in the past year and still doesn't want to tell his family we are pregnant so that we don't "worry them". Sigh. I disagree but I don't go against him. It's so strange for me though because I always feel like I am lying or leaving out half of my life when I talk to her on skype, which happens like once a week. Oh well
I hope you are feeling a little better each day Bright. Big hugs!

Well I think that's it for now. Hope everyone is doing well. I'll be looking for your updates.
 
Pave, I'm so glad your betas are looking good so far!! Continued dust for a sticky bean!

Tammy, I am so sorry that job didn't come through. Given all the positive signs, I'm sure it was a huge disappointment. But hopefully you can focus on this other opportunity. Fingers crossed for you!! I also hope AF stayed away.

Bright, have you figured out what you are going to do about your BIL? Hope you enjoyed the weekend.

AFM, things went well with my diagnostic mammogram on Friday. There was a mass, but the ultrasound showed signs that is most likely benign. At this point, they are confident enough that it's nothing to worry about, so I do not need to have a biopsy done. Instead, I will return every 6 months for the next two years for another ultrasound to ensure it stays the same size and shape. So I do feel relieved, at least for the time being.

We also got the results of DH's SA today. For the most part, things look good. Everything came back in normal ranges except for morphology. Apparently, this lab says that anything below 35% is considered an abnormal result, and he came in at 32% (normally shaped) so he'll go back in about 4 weeks to have the analysis done again. He is a total trooper and is happy to do whatever he needs to do. I love him so!

With that said... is it just me or are the ranges for what is normal morphology all over the place?? It's possible I didn't understand the way the doctor explained the results to me, but when I read various websites, I kept seeing 14% as a "normal" result... I did see a few sites that said 30%, and then I saw that you just want to be above 4%... ???

I must be missing something, yes? Would love it if anyone out there with experience/knowledge could provide me with some insight!
 
Pave, I just want to let you know I am so excited and happy for you. Congrats!
 
Hi curly,

I should be asleep, oops. Anyhow I wanted to take a min to say that it sounds like your dh's lab isn't using the strict kruger method. The numbers sound almost normal though and that part of the test is somewhat subjective so it's most likely a non issue. This is even moreso if his other numbers were above normal. That said, it's nice that his dr is taking his results seriously and offering a retest. My dh's strict morph was 5% and we're wishing he had been offered a retest too. He is going to ask for one, I think. We might need to take a little break though depending on life's curve balls.

I'm glad your mammo came back benign btw!

I'll be back later today for a full catch up post hopefully. AF came last night, but I expected her so it didn't really phase me by that time. Just glad it held off until after our flight, both interviews yesterday and another meeting last night. Yes, I need to go back to sleep!
 
Hello everyone,

There is a lot I wanted to say and a lot of stuff has come up on this tread. So I thought I would address some general stuff and address you specifically later. We finally have our internet figured out, so I don't have to limit myself. That could be good or bad.

First of all, I thought it was interesting about dealing with this in real life. It has been kind of funny for me. My friends match the stats. 85% of them have no problem, and than the rest either had problems themselves or know someone who does. The pediatrician who replaced me in my small town has no issues (he has a child and one on the way), but tells me his brother and his wife needed IVF. The pediatrician in my new practice who I replaced has been though several cycles of IVF with his wife with no success, they are still trying! I never met him, only talked with him on the phone. Now I wish I would have before he moved. Another provider in the clinic who is a friend and co-worker of the other doc has been talking to me a lot. She is the only one at work who knows so far. I avoid the conversation with people who don't understand. Usually I can gage pretty quickly if they understand or not, and change the topic quickly if they don't. I have found a lot of people with children won't volunteer that they struggled until I tell them I am struggling, than I get the, "just so you know, it took me over two years because..." Those individuals always seem to know what to say and what not to say.

AFM - My HCG was neg this cycle. I am spotting and the nurse pretty much told me there is no chance. I found I really had a hard time this cycle, harder than before. I think it is really starting to hit me that this is not going to come easily. I am struggling when to try again. I have to start over with the referral process and get the time off work at a new job. I am also going to a cruise in France in late November, and most of the trip will be wine tasting. I am deciding weather or not to wait until before or after the trip. The doc has agreed to injectibles plus an IUI next cycle, the question is just when.

My husband was pretty good with me last night. Of course he wanted to see if any more testing on him could be done. I explained it has been less than a year, and he has not started any new meds, or made any lifestyle changes, so I don't see the point in rechecking him. I am not sure if I need a more extensive workup. They still can't really tell me what is wrong with me. I know my right tube is iffy on weather it is open or not, but I have had enough eggs come from the left side that cannot be the whole story. He took me out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and I had a glass of wine. A lot of good things have happened. Our condo in San Diego finally sold, so that frees up some money for us (and I can start setting some of my colored stones now), and the move has gone well. I just tell myself it all can't go perfectly.
 
Tammy, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. I remember so well how down and defeated I felt last year when I was trying to find other job opportunities and TTC unsuccessfully at the same time. BUT I hope you can keep your chin up as it sounds like you have other promising opportunities. With all of the interviews and second interviews you are getting, something is bound to work out soon, and hopefully, it will be just what you're looking for. As far as the TTC front, hopefully your new doctor will be able to shed some light on what might be holding you up and help you find a solution. I think sometimes we get to our lowest point right before good things start to happen. I know that was the case for me.

Bright, hope you are hanging in there. Not sure what to tell you about your DH and BIL. That's probably a decision your DH will need to make. That said, it's possible your BIL already knows. I know I pretty much tell my DH everything because I feel weird having "secrets" from him. And I agree that it's hard to know who to open up to because it is such a private matter. I told my mom and sisters and a few very close friends, but I didn't even let on that we were TTC to anyone else. It sometimes felt like I was living a double life and putting on a happy face at work and in social situations, when inside I was reeling and crying at home a lot. I just didn't want a lot of people wondering if I was pregnant, asking a lot of questions, or feeling sorry for me. But I tend to be a pretty private person, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with my decision to keep it pretty quiet.

Pave, excellent beta news! Hope everything continues to go smoothly for you!

Curly, I don't know anything about morph results, but it does sound like most of your tests have come back well, which is reassuring. Have you decided on what the next step will be?

Firecracker, I just saw your post. I'm so very sorry that this wasn't your month. It's just so darn hard, especially when you can't find any major problems to fix. I think in my case it was just a combination of several minor issues that made it difficult for me to get pregnant on my own. I think it is great that you are thinking of trying an IUI next time around. Obviously there is no guarantee, but you just never know. And compared to IVF, it is a pretty inexpensive, non-invasive procedure. Thinking of you. Glad to hear your condo sold and the move went well. It's also nice that you have a fun trip to look forward to this fall.
 
Tammy – I appreciate the input. Makes me feel a little better. We’ll see what happens when he goes for his second SA next month. So sorry that AF did, in fact, show up this month. Hang in there, lady.

Firecracker – I am so, so, so sorry this wasn’t your cycle and that it’s hitting you harder this time. I think we have all had those months where reality just slaps us in the face and makes us wonder why it has to be so hard. I’m glad to hear your DH took you out for a nice dinner – it certainly doesn’t take away the pain, but it helps to be pampered.

Thankfully, the ball is in your court now – you know the plan, you just need to give your heart and your head some time to decide when you want to try again. With that said, I know you wish you didn’t have to make that decision. I do appreciate your perspective that “it all can’t go perfectly.” I often times have to give myself pep talks about the same thing. Even though I know I’m entitled to some grief and frustration over the bad, I need to go to bed at night remembering everything I have to be grateful for.

mp – You’re right – most of the tests have come back with good news, which I am thankful for. I will go in for the progesterone bloodwork this Friday, and then we should have a good read on what’s going on with me (if anything). Right now, I’m doing all my testing through my OB, so the next thing we’ll need is to be referred to an RE and go from there. Since all our results should be done by early September, I’m hopeful we’ll get a referral and get in to see someone by the end of September. I’m curious to see what he/she will recommend. My gut tells me an IUI might help, but I’m trying to keep my mind (and DH’s) open. Thanks for asking!
 
Tammy - so sorry that the job did not work out, that is just a bummer. I am wishing you luck on the next interview and hope this job works out for you.

CrulySue - I am really hoping that your testing goes well, and that you are able to see an RE quickly. I know I was able to see my RE pretty quickly after the referral was placed, so I am hoping the same holds true for you.

Bright - Hope you are doing OK

MP - thanks for the kind words. I feel like you are the most similar to me in terms of your experience and your what your workup showed. I took a few days off to unpack, but am going back to work tomorrow. At that point, I will fax my request to my current doc to give me a copy of my medical records so I can show my FP what exactly has been done. I am guessing it will take at least a month to re-do the referral process. So I will just take it 1 month at a time for now.

AFM - I am doing better today. I am really trying to enjoy the rest of my life, and not let this consume me. Me and my husband had a little disagreement about the 3rd bedroom. He wants to leave it empty for a baby's room, I decided to start putting stuff in it since it will be a year at least since we need it. I am setting it up so that it will be easy to re-arrange if we need the room (e.g. leaving other walls in the house empty or with just a picture incase we need to re-locate the book case, ect). But I don't want to stare at an empty room everyday and answer questions to house guests. I have a lot of unpacking today, and I go back to work tomorrow. It looks like I will start full time clinic on Tuesday and will be super busy once that starts.

Thanks again everyone for your support.
 
Hello, ladies!

I hope everyone is doing OK out there. Tammy and Bright, you two in particular are in my thoughts.

Firecracker, I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little better and that you're trying to enjoy the here and now. I think you're smart to want to use that extra room now. The idea of looking at an empty bedroom would really get to me, too.

Good luck with the packing and starting the new job!

Pave, if you are still out there, I hope you are feeling well!

AFM, my sister, BIL, and sweet 2-year old niece are coming to visit (they live about 4 hours away), so I'm taking tomorrow off so we can go to the zoo or the aquarium. Looking forward to seeing them - particularly my niece. She is the cutest and so full of personality - she just brightens my world.
 
Hi Girls,

I'm sorry I don't have much time to update or catch up. ;( I'm thinking of everyone though! I have an update that will make it all clear as to why though! Yesterday I was offered a job at the place that will allow me to carry over my benefits/retirement, and they offered me the highest salary they could without me asking! On top of that, we got the cutest little 3/2 condo in a GREAT location (San Ramon) and our landlady is just the sweetest woman ever (at least she seems to...hope it stays that way). Her current tenant has been there for SIX years and is only moving because she lost her job, so she can't be that bad! Did I mention that it's about $400 under market value because she's owned the place outright for ages and just wants tenants that will stay long term? Yeah, happy campers.

So we have the benefits, we have the extra bedroom, we have the money...but we have no baby...yet. I'm having to reschedule my lap/hyster/D&C until 9/14 because I don't want to be out a whole day as soon as I start my new job. I'm happy to change it though b/c now instead of being post ovulatory for it, I'll be on CD4-5 which is apparently perfect. Here's hoping. I'm not thrilled about having to tell my new boss that I have surgery basically as soon as I start, but they hopefully will be reasonable/kind.

Curly, thank you for checking in on me. I hope you're doing well. Ltl, I'm so sorry that this cycle didn't work. :( I fully support the "I can't let this rule my life anymore, need to stop leaving that extra room bare" movement. It's not "admitting defeat", it's merely making use of the space while you wait and easing the pain a bit by hopefully bringing some joy into your life making it a space you love being in vs. feeling empty staring at. Big hugs!

I know I missed people and I'm so sorry for that. Life is just SO crazy right now that we pretty much eat/sleep/work/pack/run around doing school registration, signing leases, trying to wrap up loose ends in my job that I've been at for 3 years...I'm nuts! Happy, but nuts. I feel like I just need to get through all of this maybe, then once we're all settled we'll hopefully be blessed with a baby. Not giving up...

Take care girls! I'll pop back in as craziness permits. :)
 
Tammy, I just wanted to pop in to congratulate you on your wonderful news! Life is a-changing for the better. Woot! Woot! :appl:
 
Tammy, I'm so thrilled to hear all of your wonderful updates! New job with benefits, new, big place (below market value!)...it sounds like everything is lining up perfectly! I understand your not wanting to take time off so soon for surgery & hope the timing works out ok. I had my d&c on a Friday evening, was pretty much couch bound the following weekend but was ok by Monday. 
I'm so sorry af arrived, but I have a good feeling you won't be around these part much longer, friend. 

Pave, great news on the strong 2nd beta! I hope your wait until your first u/s isn't too stressful. Continued sticky dust your way. How are you feeling?
Thanks for sharing your experience about talking to people about ttc/IF. That must've been so difficult having people ask about your pregnancy after your m/c. Hugs.  I certainly understand how that would make you wary about telling people in the future. 
I have subscribed to your dh's school of thought about not wanting to worry family too in the past, also in not wanting to tell them, month after month, that no, this wasn't the month. But hopefully they'll be more understanding now that they know we're struggling. 

Curly, thanks for your advice on the bil situation. I kind of feel like it's not my place to get in the middle of this & I hope it will resolve with time. 
I'm so glad to hear your mammogram went well & your docs aren't worried. That's good that they'll stay on top of it, though. Hugs. 
It sounds like your dh's sa results were good too. I would agree with tammy that it's probably not strict morphology, for which normal is over 4%, but it sounds like it's ok. My dh's urologist was very concerned with his results & put him on clomid, but my RE didn't seem that concerned (he said it "wasn't that bad"). So I think these results are somewhat subjective.  That's probably good he's having a re-check though. Hopefully you guys will have all of the ducks in a row & a plan to move forward soon. 
I hope you're having a great day today with your sister, bil & adorable little niece!

Ltl, I'm glad you've found some people you can talk to IRL about fertility stuff. That's wise of you to feel people out before divulging any info. It can be a rough conversation if people don't understand. 
I'm so sorry that this cycle didn't work for you. Hugs. Something about doing the injections makes it feel like a much greater step, and even more disappointing when it doesn't work. Hugs to you.  I think that's a great idea to focus on the positive, though, and living your life.  I'm glad that the move went well & your wine tasting cruise in November sounds divine! I agree with the idea of using the spare room for storage until it's needed for other uses. I'd be pretty bummed to stare at an empty room too.  That's why I don't want to move until we know what's going on (baby or no baby) with us. Though I'm mighty jealous you have an extra room for storage!

Mp, thanks for your post. I, too, am a private person, and, as you mentioned, hate the idea of people wondering if I'm pg/feeling sorry for me, which is  one of the reasons I didn't share sooner. 
Oh well. I guess I'm going to have to get over some things.  
Thanks for your continued support & hi to bumby.   

Dreamer, thanks for chiming in here. It's helpful to hear your perspective from the other side of the coin. And thanks for following along with us over here & cheering us on. (And, on a different note, I just found the thread on your new ring & I'm absolutely smitten!)

Bella, how are you doing? Thinking of you & hoping your local modesty police is keeping you in line. 

Hi to anyone I missed. 

Afm, cd19 here. I've been taking opk's on & off & nothing yet. (I didn't poas yesterday though). I don't really think we're going to get ku without assistance, though so I'm not too worried about "trying" this month. I've been having a lot of headaches lately, though. Maybe it's just a withdrawal symptom from all of the hormones last cycle. I had really nasty headaches the first month after coming off the pill too. 
I'm just trying take my mind off this stuff for a while. It's hard not to feel like a failure after trying so long without success & I find it seeping into other aspects of my life in a way I don't enjoy. 
In more exciting news, a friend of mine lives in Morocco & just invited us to use her place while she's traveling this fall. The idea of a change of scene & an adventure sounds pretty amazing to me right now. If we make the trip, it would likely be in October, which would delay IVF yet another month. In a way, that's frustrating, but in another way, I'm just over all of this & think, after all this time, what's another month?

Thanks to everyone who chimed in with advice about my friend & bil situation & also about talking about infertility IRL.  Here are some updates. 

As for my pregnant friend, I didn't hear from her at all for several days after I wrote her that email, which had me concerned. Then I got the announcement email about the birth of her son (he's a beauty!) then nothing for several more days. I've been worried, but am trying to chalk this up to the stresses of new parenthood. She's finally surfaced again & I hope things are ok. 

As for the bil, I pretty much deflected the situation with my SIL so I don't know if she spoke to bil or not. (I assume she did since they're married but don't know for sure.) I did ask dh what he wanted to do about this situation, but he's still pretty hurt about their fight & his brother's coldness to him in recent months, so he said he really didn't even want to talk about it & left it up to me. 
So, we saw them briefly last weekend &, while this topic wasn't broached, I thought bil was noticeably warmer to both of us. I hope that's a good sign that their relationship is on the mend. 

Happy Friday everyone!
 
Hello, friends! Anybody home???

Tammy!!!! I am THRILLED to hear all of your good news. You deserve every bit of this!!! Good luck with all of the craziness that comes with moving and taking a new job.

Firecracker, how are you doing?

Bella, anything new with you?

Bright, I hate to read that you are feeling like a failure. The process has not worked for you YET, but that does not make you a failure. In fact, given the grace and strength with which you have handled these challenges, I find you to be incredibly inspiring.

It's been a few days since your last post, but I hope that by now, your headaches have gone away and you've gotten some reassurance from your friend that things are OK. Glad to hear that things seemed improved with you BIL.

So... here's my most recent update... I went in to give blood for the progesterone test on Friday, which was CD21 for me but only 2DPO, so as I suspected, my progesterone levels were low (4.6). So I'm going in again on Thursday to give another vial of blood to see if the levels went up at all.

Had a great conversation with my doctor. She said if it turns out DH's second SA comes back normal but my progesterone is low, they won't refer me to an RE, they'll just prescribe me clomid. If it turns out my progesterone is low and DH's morphology still comes back as low, they'll refer us to an RE who will likely put me on clomid and do an IUI. I believe she said it would be the same protocol if I was fine but DH's morphology was still low. And if both of us are fine and we have "unexplained" infertility, they'll refer us to the RE and figure it out from there.

Oh... and guess what? I learned this weekend that my 23-year old sister-in-law is pregnant, too. Based on her due date, it looks like they might have conceived on their wedding night. So my sister will have her second in late January, and then about 6 weeks later, my SIL will have her first. If we aren't at least pregnant by then, I might be drinking heavily between January and April... I guess the upside is that if we are able to get pregnant relatively soon, our little one will have two cousins close in age, which is cool.

DH has been really, really cute this cycle. I have been having a lot of cramps for the last 5 days, and last night, he said, "I'm thinking a lot about your cramps." Those are words I never thought I'd hear my husband say! :lol: Anyway, then he asked, "Do you think that means anything?" So cute. I love that he is still hopeful and that he is trying to put himself in my shoes a bit more (I also gave him a tutorial on charting a week or two ago, which was hilarious). So... then I went and dashed his hopes by explaining the TTC "symptom spotting" phenomenon, and let him know that the cramps probably don't mean much and very well could have something to do with the SHG I had.

So that's my long-winded update.

Hello to everyone out there!!
 
Hi Girls,

Bright, I think you will regret NOT going to Morocco much more than you might regret waiting one more cycle for IVF - regardless of if you end up pregnant or not with your IVF. If you do, and oh I SO hope you do...you won't have a chance to travel like that again for a loooong while. If you don't, then you'll be really upset about giving up the trip and you'll need those lovely days with your DH to draw strength from. So yes, I really hope you go.

Please don't feel like you're a failure. You're such a strong, amazing woman. My heart hurts for you, I just can't put it all into words. :(sad

Curly, I hope that this cycle goes well for you! It is cute that your DH is thinking more about your cycle, cramps, etc.. Hopefully your HSG did the trick! (you had one, right???) I'm curious about your prog tests, keep us posted!

AFM: Life is insane. There's no other way to slice it, I feel like I'm just careening out of control these days. I have 2 days and 2 hours left at the job I've held for 3+ years and my desk is FULL of stuff I should actually be doing right now. My house is 90% packed, but that last 10% is a train wreck all over the place disorganized MESS. I hate mess, I can't function or even think straight in it. :errrr: There are a bunch of other things too, some minor some major - major I don't feel quite ready to share, minor just aren't worth the time they take to type out, lol.

Still in the back of my mind I'm really torn about what to do with this hysteroscopy, laparoscopy and D&C. I want to chicken out. I want to ask him to just do an endometrial biopsy to check for infection, a CD 21 prog and I want to BEG for an HSG. I sort of did ask for those things in a message to him today. My pre-op is tomorrow though, and surgery is scheduled for Sept 14 (I changed it because of our craziness w/the move). I just don't know, feels like it's too late for me to change the course and I don't know why I would want to change it if these things could help me get pregnant. I still have TEBB. I'm still not pregnant. I know something is wrong, I'm just scared to be put under I guess, I don't know. Maybe it's just a combination of everything together being so stressful and this is the only thing I could technically cancel (vs moving, new job, leaving current city that I've lived in for 13 years etc.). It's a lot to work through.

Anyhow sorry for rambling. I miss everyone here. I think those of us that are left are all pretty busy though, it gets super quiet sometimes then we have a lovely catch up. Hope everyone is doing well! :))

ETA: It's painful reading that people I started this journey with have already started having their babies. :(sad
 
:wavey: hi ladies, we were out of town for most of last week and now we're digging out from under the post-vacation craziness!

I started taking the herbs today finally :knockout: the strangest taste! it's like smoky, burny, herby, sweet, rose hippy, yucky tasting (Even when you plug your nose!) but thanks to Bright's soon to be patented method:-) Keep the mouthwash close by ;))

Tammy-congrats on the new job, and condo, and everything starting to line up!!! Hope that the pre-op went well and that you and your Dr can be on the same page.

Bright-I kept trying to put my life on hold for the "maybes" (which for me were an 8 year LIW before we got married and 2 years TTC before our son came home and now a third year...I think that you'll regret not going to Morocco more than you will waiting...

Pave-hope that things are still going well!

LtFirecracker, Curly, and all my other awesome ladies, we may be in the "ironman" of TTC, but we are moving forward. Don't be too discouraged if people you started this journey with are having their babies:-) Ladies I started with have toddlers and are working on baby number 2...

but go back in the main TTC thread a few years and there are some amazingly inspirational stories (and some heartbreaking ones, so have tissues ready!). Just since I've been actively TTC, ladies who had been aggressively trying for 3+ years like LovelyLulu, TIffany Twisted, and BlushingB, and Kara's mom-I can't remember her PS name...anyway their journeys were long and difficult and all had very, very happy endings! Sometimes this road ends in an amazing way and honestly, although my journey to #2 is now moving forward with TTC, my journey to #1 ended in an unexpected but wonderful way with the adoption of my son.

And IRL, I went to my parents town this past week and saw two friends who TTC for 10 years before welcoming their child! :eek: (one their first child and one their second...)

Not to sound to crazy, but we will be mothers! maybe not in the timing or the way that we expect, but I believe with all my heart that if we have the desire to be mothers, somehow, sometime, in someway, we will be mothers. it will happen...
 
Just a quick note to say...

Bella, thanks for your post. I love your attitude, positivity, encouragement, and perspective. It put a smile on my face!
 
Bella,

You're amazing, thank you. :))
 
Tammy, just checking in and saw your big job and condo news. Congratulations! I just knew things would start to fall in place. Good luck with the move and transition. Oh, and I say don't be afraid to ask more questions or get a second opinion if you aren't sure about the upcoming procedures. Have you seen an RE?

Bright, I agree with the others that a trip to Morocco would be pretty hard to pass up. In the end, waiting one more month is nothing in the grand scheme of things, although I can understand how it feels like that when you are TTC. Hope things are going well with your friend who had the baby and your in-laws.

Bella, I loved what you had to say. My TTC journey may not have been quite as long or rough as others, but I do remember how hopeless and desperate it sometimes seemed. I also really do believe that all of you ladies over here will be moms (or moms to additional babies) someday soon, and I keep you in my thoughts!
 
Hi MP! It's nice to see you around these parts to say hello. :)

My pre op went okay. Scary but okay. I did get an order for a cd 21 prog just to reassure me that my tebb isn't a simple hormone issue. He's also checking my tubes while he's in there. So we'll see. It's about a 2 to 2.5 hr procedure. Seemed long but he said its actually fairly short. I'm just nervous, want it over with now.
 
:oops: aw, thanks ladies:-)

Tammy good luck getting ready for your procedure! I was freaked after the preop, but everything was fine:-) Really! :bigsmile:
 
Hi Bella (and everyone else this might apply to!),

I'm curious about your experiences with procedures. They're doing a hysterscopy (auto correct just "fixed" that word to hustler copy...). Annnyhow, they're doing the hyster, d&c and a lap. The hsg is during the lap portion. I'm excited but oh so nervous. I just want to be on the other side of the next 3 weeks! :errrr:
 
My proceedure was really quite easy.

I had a pretty sore throat for the few days after from the intubation and a little bit of cramping and spotting for a few days.

I had a hysteroscopy+polypectomy+D&C when it turned out there were lots of little polyps and tissue.

I didn't have any incision b/c it went through my cervix...
 
:wavey: Since I have an acupuncture appt this weekend, I have been dutifully choking down the herbs (I've graduated to using a little more water, drinking in three fast gulps, and then just drinking a glass of water...strangely, although the increased water makes for more gulps, they are much less nasty b/c it's not so sludgy and the flavor isn't quite as strongI) also I finally just did the fertility yoga DVD for the first time...so I thought I'd share the initial impressions:

It's a sort of low budget looking video with three women practicing in a room and some very light abstract music in the background.

1. Since it is divided into the four phases of your cycle it's challenging to know which to do. I went with "ovulatory" since it seemed marginally more likely than "follicular" for me right now...who knows?!?!?
2. It was way different than any yoga I have done before (and way back when I used to practice somewhat regularly at a few different studios)
3. there is a lot of fast breathing and some breath of fire as well as some other faster movements. The ovulatory one is supposed to be "Active" b/c it's an active phase.
4. I liked it a lot, feel quite energized and it targeted a lot of places I hold tension which was a bonus! I am looking forward to doing it again tomorrow and think it will be a little better as I won't be struggling to follow the transitions (they kind of expect you to just jump on board and get it, there is not a lot of hand holding by the "instructor/narrator".

Some of the things felt a little hokey but I think were good and it really did feel like I was doing something to take care of myself, me, as a woman...not just a potential/hopeful/disappointed/impatient babymaking machine...or a wife...or a mother...but me Bella, a woman who is so much more than just a set of ovaries and a uterus and even so much more than a wife and a mother!...as well as hopefully improve my fertility.

So, I say 2 thumbs up and I'll let you know how the other phases of the tape are when I get there:-)
 
Bella, I'm glad you're enjoying the yoga & that the herbs have become a bit more palatable. There's definitely something to be said for doing things to take care of yourself that aren't necessarily focused on all of the roles you play in your life. 
That's scary that you had a sore throat after your d&c. Was your voice ok? Hoping you're feeling great & back to normal now. 
Oh, and thanks for the lovely post. I found it very inspirational. 

Tammy, I just had a d&c, no laparoscopy, but I found the procedure & prep to be fine. They did an iv in my arm (which was a relief to me since I was freaked out about having one in my hand), then I woke up feeling fine. I had the procedure on Friday evening & pretty much hung out on the couch all weekend.  I was pretty sore the next day & it got better on Sunday. I was back to my regular activities by Monday. I also had some very  light spotting for 3-4 days. I also had some bladder issues after my d&c, but I imagine that's pretty uncommon. As for the hsg, the procedure for me was very easy. I did have cramping that evening but was fine the next day. 
I hope this all goes smoothly for you & you get some answers (& a bfp!) soon. Big hugs to you.  

Ltl, how are you doing?

Mp, thanks for checking on me. Yep, at this point in the process, what's an extra month? I hope you're doing well. 

Curly, thanks for your sweet post. 
How did your second progesterone test go? That's so cute that your dh is now symptom spotting. (Btw, I had cramps before both of my bfp's. Just sayin...) Fingers crossed that this is it for you, but if not, I'm glad you have a plan in place to move forward. 
I hope your LO will have lots of cousins close in age. I found it very stressful to have my sil's both pregnant at the same time while I was not but now that their LO's are here it's much better. 

Afm, I finally got a positive OPK at cd22. It's been (some degree of) positive for 3 days but seems to be starting to fade out. I'm cd 26 now so I guess I should o tomorrow maybe? I've never had such a strong (or long) positive before. Also it seems later than usual. I don't know if this means anything. (I've never used opks during medicated cycles for reference.) 

Also thanks to everyone who encouraged us to go to morocco. You guys are totally right. I think we'd regret not going more than we'd regret waiting to do the ivf. And Tammy, great points about success/failure & how the trip is worthwhile either way. So we'll try to make it work. In the meantime, we're off on our previously schedule vacation. I'm looking forward to some sun & fun before the summer's over. 
 
thanks bright, and YAY for the positive OPK!

My speaking voice was fine about 4 days after the surgery, but my singing voice is still not quite right. The anasthesiology resident was awful (totally messed up the IV in my hand and the attending finally had to swoop in and do another one on my other hand, so my hunch is that she messed up my intubation as well. Since I don't sing professionally right now I didn't think to do my usual freak out ("I am an opera singer...only the attending can intubate me...my voice is my career...blah blah blah") so I am hoping that it will heal and be fine soon.

I am really digging this yoga video. It's kind of weird and different from any other yoga I have done, but it makes me feel really good. It has great reviews on amazon and I can totally see why! Here's some more info re the cycles and how they explain what to do when if you have irregular cycles...I should have thought to look for this sooner:http://lotuscenter.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=196:fertility-yoga&catid=58:fertilityyoga

AFM-accupuncture Sat was a little uncomfortable, she thinks my body "might be trying to ovulate"...so. we'll see. bad news though, she prescribed 20 days of the herbs. :knockout: I am going to wait and see if I ovulate before I get it filled. They are more palatable, but 20 more days of it sounds awful!
 
Hello, everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the weekend, wherever you may have spent it.

Tammy - I'm a little late chiming in here, but my D&C was physically quite easy. I had mine mid-morning on a Monday, slept for a few hours post-procedure and felt pretty much fine. I went back to work the next day. In fact, I taught a 3-day training class and was on my feet most of the time and had no problems. I bled for over a week and then spotted for about 5 days after that. I hope you are feeling more at peace about your procedures knowing that you should get some more information from them.

Bella - Sounds like your yoga DVD is really cool! Glad you're enjoying it. And fingers crossed that you O soon so you don't need to tolerate 20 more days of those herbs. :knockout:

Bright - Interesting that you've had such a long, strong surge this time around. No insights to offer, but I would take that as a positive considering this is a non-medicated cycle. I'm so glad to hear you and DH decided to go to Morocco. It sounds like the kind of opportunity that doesn't come around too often. And I hope you are enjoying the vacation you are on now! You and DH deserve some R&R!

As for me... OK... where to start? So I gave another blood draw on Thursday for a second look at my progesterone. Got a call on Friday saying that my results confirmed ovulation and that my levels were 9.something (I was in the car and didn't write it down). So that's good news, right?

The better news is that on Friday morning, I decided to test even though I was only 9 or 10DPO. It was DH's 40th Birthday and I'm sort of superstitious and thought maybe, just maybe I could give him an extra-special birthday gift. And what do you know?

I SAW TWO DANG LINES!!!!!!!! :shock: I actually couldn't believe my eyes! Like a crazy person, I took it out in natural light, held it up close to the lights over the vanity in the bathroom, in the dark, you name it... but THE SECOND LINE WAS THERE, no matter where I looked!! I tested Saturday, Sunday, and this morning, and the second line continues to get darker each day.

So yes, we are excited.

BUT... at this point, I feel like getting the BFP was just the first of several "obstacles" to overcome. I'm trying to be happy but also trying to guard myself emotionally in case this little bean doesn't stick. And now I'm very concerned about my progesterone level being under 10 on Thursday. It should be much higher, right???? I'm planning to call my doctor (I spoke to an assistant on Friday, not my doc) this morning to see if I can get my betas and progesterone checked again ASAP. I might be making a big deal over nothing, but I don't want to risk it.

So that's the story. My emotions are all over the place!
 
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