The Official TTC Thread!

[peonygirl]

Sunkist: I think that big drop can only be a good thing, especially if it goes up tomorrow! Here's hoping!

Amber: Hmmm, I'm leaning toward Tuesday too. Was your temp rise on Tues morning small or large?

Fishie: I TOTALLY understand being frustrated. I have gotten some really nice comments and some really awful ones since I started TTC. Since I work in research, if my coworker had said something like that I probably would have replied, "well, by what mechanism would trying prevent me from getting pregnant? Does it make the sperm less motivated to reach the egg?" Or, "what an interesting theory, I'd love to see an empirical journal article about that." Or how about this, "in that case, why are only 50% of pregnancies unplanned? wouldn't it be 100%?"
Hehe! I'm having way too much fun with this. One of my coworkers (who is basically crazy--and I don't say that too often about people) would NOT stop talking about how fertile she was when she found out about my miscarriage. She kept going on and on about how she got pregnant with both her kids after only having sex once and that if there was no birth control she'd have 20 kids by now. She even said that "we're just on opposite ends of the spectrum--I'm extremely fertile and you're extremely infertile." WTF? At the time I just ignored her, but if I never had to see her again I'd love to say something like, "no, you're just extremely bit**y."

 

[AmberWaves]

Hey Peony, my temp went from 96.44 to 97.02 - HUGE rise. Which is abnormal for me, I think. Then again, the day before FF said my o-date was I actually overslept by like, two hours, so it may not have been such a drop. Eh, I don''t know.

 

[NovemberBride]

Fisher, I forgot to mention that your pups are absolutely precious!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Fisher you are not emotional, that was a really insensitive and stupid thing for that woman to say!

I would have flamed her for you. Truth is, there is NO truth to the old wives tale that when you stop trying you get pregnant. So people who believe it can jump in the lake. Actually, I think such beliefa sre simply a way of trying to explain something that has no explanation, and also a way of blaming the person who is suffering. It is a dark side of human psychology--people are confused and unsettled when unexplained bad things happen to good people, so they look for *causes* and often it means blaming the victim. Blaming the victim makes that good person deserving of their bad outcome, and thus resolves the previous confusion and upsetting nature of the situation. So when a good person (you) is taking a while to get pregnant (the bad outcome), people say you are trying to hard and THAT is why it is taking a while, thus make YOU the cause of the outcome and thus deserving of it. So tell them THAT next time someone is insensitive!

 

[swimmer]

Fisher and Peony,
I am so sorry people say crap like that. How utterly insensitive and just idiotic of them.
My mom (who is a therapist) always replies to comments of that nature with "and what is your purpose in saying that?" all sweetness and honey. I wish I could be like that, but am more of the wtf? face.

I''m so glad this thread/space is here. It is so hard to not talk about this with anyone irl. Well, DH, but for some reason he isn''t into the details, just the action. This process is so isolating sometimes. My sister just got ktfu and I am so happy for her (6 weeks) but it was also sort of a twinge of something not nice I was feeling when she told us... I''ve had ovarian cancer, have pcos, and am just feeling like I need to decide if I''m ready for a several year effort here or if we should adopt, or I don''t know. I can''t tell my mom, she would be like so many of your moms or mils, hovering and anxious, trying to help but not so much. So, this is it. Mostly thanks, it is good to be in good company.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Swimmer what are you studying? Is your defense for your master''s or your PhD?

 

[Mandarine]

~~~~Baby dust girls!!~~~~ I''m thinking of you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fishie - I am so sorry your ''friend'' said that...that is so completely absurd and hurtful!!!!!!!!!!!

. You know nothing she said makes sense...and I know you think she didn''t mean it in a hurtful way....so just ignore her. It''s just ignorance and some people just don''t realize how hard it can be!. I know just because of my friends and all I can do is support them and understand their feelings....so just ignore those comments

Happy Friday!

M~

 

[Sha]

Fisher, I agree that your friend''s comments were extremely insensitive. Obviously, she''s not in the process of TTC.....

I would''ve been hurt myself.
And Peony! I can''t believe your friend said that to you... about she being extremely fertile and you being extremely infertile??!! What ithe heck is wrong with people sometimes??

Sunkist, I think that dip looks verrryyy promising!!

 

[sunkist]

Peony, thinking of you!!!!! I''m so excited for tomorrow morning

I''ll be checking in for any news. I hope it''s good news! hope, hope, hope(fingers and toes all crossed for you

)

Good Luck and Baby dust!

 

[mia1181]

Well my temp finally went below the coverline today and AF paid her visit. So I am excited about my 11 day luteal phase! Yay! I might be able to sustain a pregnancy one day!(hopefully). I hope that is where it will stay. Does anyone remember how long after going off BC before your LP became regular? The TCOYF book says that LP''s usually are the same length every cycle for most women. Have you found that to be true?

In other news, DH and I talked about TTC today and I think he is on board to start trying next year (provided his career is back on track by then). I know none of you will be here then

, but I can''t wait to join this thread!

 

[missjaxon]

Date: 3/7/2009 12:26:10 AM
Author: mia1181
Well my temp finally went below the coverline today and AF paid her visit. So I am excited about my 11 day luteal phase! Yay! I might be able to sustain a pregnancy one day!(hopefully). I hope that is where it will stay. Does anyone remember how long after going off BC before your LP became regular? The TCOYF book says that LP''s usually are the same length every cycle for most women. Have you found that to be true?


In other news, DH and I talked about TTC today and I think he is on board to start trying next year (provided his career is back on track by then). I know none of you will be here then

, but I can''t wait to join this thread!

I am such a huge lurker on this thread but I just thought I would post to tell Mia that I am planning on TTC next year as well as long as everything goes according to plan. I am sure all of these wonderful ladies will have graduated long before I begin to post in this forum even though I am already starting to have extreme baby fever. Maybe we will both be posting here at the same time.

 

[Mandarine]

Good morning!

Just peeking in to see if anyone had any news!

M~

 

[swimmer]

Sending out dust to Peony!


DD, I''m working on my PhD in behavioral development. I was watching your job interviewing process unfold, congratulations again. A wonderful position and an amazing new baby boy, what a wonderful place to be in your life!

13DPO and trying not to poas yet.

 

[peonygirl]

Well, my birthday wish came true!

This is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. A real, true dark(ish) positive that appeared almost immediately. It hasn't totally sunk in yet.

 

[Mandarine]

Date: 3/7/2009 8:24:57 AM
Author: peonygirl
Well, my birthday wish came true!

This is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. A real, true dark(ish) positive that appeared almost immediately. It hasn''t totally sunk in yet.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT A GREAT BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COngrats Peony!!! I am SO HAPPY for you!!!!!!!!!!!. I wish a happy and healthy 9 months and TONS of sticky dust!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See you on the other thread...yayyyy!!!

M~

 

[icekid]

Date: 3/7/2009 8:24:57 AM
Author: peonygirl
Well, my birthday wish came true!

This is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. A real, true dark(ish) positive that appeared almost immediately. It hasn''t totally sunk in yet.

PEONY!! I am such a lurker here and the first thing I did this morning was stop in here. Soo excited for you. Sending you major sticky vibes

 

[icekid]

Date: 3/7/2009 1:33:14 AM
Author: missjaxon

Date: 3/7/2009 12:26:10 AM
Author: mia1181
Well my temp finally went below the coverline today and AF paid her visit. So I am excited about my 11 day luteal phase! Yay! I might be able to sustain a pregnancy one day!(hopefully). I hope that is where it will stay. Does anyone remember how long after going off BC before your LP became regular? The TCOYF book says that LP''s usually are the same length every cycle for most women. Have you found that to be true?


In other news, DH and I talked about TTC today and I think he is on board to start trying next year (provided his career is back on track by then). I know none of you will be here then

, but I can''t wait to join this thread!

I am such a huge lurker on this thread but I just thought I would post to tell Mia that I am planning on TTC next year as well as long as everything goes according to plan. I am sure all of these wonderful ladies will have graduated long before I begin to post in this forum even though I am already starting to have extreme baby fever. Maybe we will both be posting here at the same time.

Another lurker...

I am thinking of next year, as well. My job is such that there will basically never be a good time, unfortunately. If my hubs ends up having a long commute to work when we move this summer, a baby probably will not happen during my residency. Crossing my fingers though! I, too, have baby fever in the worst way!! ack.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Peony oodles and oodles of congratulations!!!!

When you said that your BDing was only ok this month, I wanted to tell you that that''s how it happened for us, but I didn''t want to get your hopes up when there obviously isn''t anything scientific about getting pregnant when you hardly try and not getting pregnant when you do except for whatever law of the universe makes young teenaged girls get pregnant the first time.

YAY!!!! When do you think your due date is?

 

[peonygirl]

Okay, well I'm going to leave you hanging like that! Thanks so, so much for the good vibes you posted about me testing today!!!!!!!

It was a very surreal experience taking the test. DH insisted earlier this year that next time we find out that we were pregnant, it would be together. It was partially because he didn't like the idea of me knowing and him not and partially because I've been known to have a nervous breakdown when I get a negative test, and he wanted to be there to support me if that happened. We took it together last month, but it was negative (obviously).

The second line started appearing almost immediately (although it was gray at first and then turned pink 6-8 second later), and I just kept saying, "OMG, I'm pregnant!" DH totally didn't believe me! Then I started saying, "I'm f***ing pregnant" over and over as if that would get him to believe me more.

In retrospect, I don't think it was a matter of disbelieving or believing for him, but rather a knowledge that last time we got a positive pregnant test it didn't turn into a baby.

Maybe it will sink in more while he's at work today (we tested early because he has a 7-3 shift today). I am way, way more hopeful this time, since I can already tell that my hcg is much higher this time. I guess right now that I'm just thinking that I'd might as well be happy with no disconfirming evidence so far. No matter what, it would be devastating to have another miscarriage, but being happy or terrified right now is not going to change that.

To be 100% honest, if I had not been pregnant there would have been tremendous sadness, desperation, tears, and even self-blame. I don't think that my positive emotions right now as intense as the negative emotions would have been, but I'm really excited! Maybe once we see something on an ultrasound I will feel more bliss?

***********************************
What did I do differently this time? Well, Clomid obviously!

I feel really lucky that is seems like whatever fertility issues we have appear to be fairly circumscribed to one particular area: ovulation. And that area can be fixed for 80% of women with pretty safe, commonly-used drug. Of course, I'm SO not out of the woods yet since we don't know why I had the miscarriage last time and if this baby will stick.

What else was I doing? I was also temping, using OPKs, and checking my cervical mucus. This is the first time that I've gotten true EWCM! We were definitely hoarding the swimmers this time, and I wrote 10DPO on the test because I think I ovulated the day after FF is telling me. It is way more common to O the day after a positive OPK, plus we actually BDed at like 1am on the next day after my OPK. I was really kicking myself earlier this week for not doing it right after the positive, since we both had that day off. The other alternative is that I ovulated two eggs, one a few hours before the other, and that is why my temp went up a bit on the day of ovulation. My OPK was so positive it practically burned a hole in the test, which is why I'm thinking two eggs are a possibility! Also, my progesterone is 4x (!) higher than last time I was pregnant, although that could be an artifact of Clomid. I guess that I won't know if it's twins or something until I get an ultrasound. Even if I ovulated more than one egg, I think the odds are still greatly in favor of one baby!

Oh, and I also used preseed the day of my OPK, drank tons of water, and took two doses of Robitussin, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. Not sure if that made a difference since I guess you're supposed to start taking it several days before you O, but I thought I'd mention that.
***************************************
This is crazy! I almost can't believe I'm pregnant because I don't feel pregnant. I have a zillion zits on my chin right now though and my nips are still a little sore. I guess that's a good sign, right? I am SO wishing good things for all of the soon-to-be testing!!!!!!!!! Who do we have besides Sunkist, Fisher, and November?

 

[peonygirl]

Thanks SO much Mandarine!!! It really means a lot to me that you gals are so happy for me. I don''t feel like I''m even close to ready to go over to the prego thread yet, but I might pop in and say hi! It would be great to get some wisdom from the "been there, done that girls!"

Icekid: Thanks so much!!!! Well, as you know I''m applying to medical school this cycle, which cannot possibly be the best time! I''m sure it''s not the worst time either. Right now I''m mostly concerned about having a due date in the middle of interviews! Hopefully most of them will be around Sept/Oct and then I can schedule some in Dec. We shall see.
Are you a PGY2 or 3? And. . . internal medicine? I might be confusing you with gingerbcookie, who I know did IM and them heme/onc. I remember you from my LIW days!
Don''t worry, I think we are almost the same age, so you have tons of time. Okay, I know that doesn''t help at all with the baby fever, but I am jealous that you are so much farther ahead in your training than I am.

Phoenix: Thanks bunches!! I definitely think there might be something to the "saving up sperm" thing, but then one always runs the risk of waiting too long. According to FF, my due date would be November 18th (really the 17th, but I added a day). A Thanksgiving baby! Incidentally, that is my favorite holiday. Is yours in late Sept?

 

[peonygirl]

Oh, I think swimmer is testing soon too! Are you on Clomid too? This should be called the Clomid thread!

And then amber a couple of days later!!! We are bound to get some positives, right girls?

 

[natalina]

Hi ladies- Well, it''s Saturday morning and I had to come check out if anyone has tested yet! I haven''t even come close to catching up, but had to stop reading for a minute to respond to Fisher''s post about the comment from her work associate:

Fisher- ugh! While you may be a bit sensitive in the TTC area, I do not think you are overreacting with the way her comment made you feel! You''re NOT being petty, she was very inconsiderate in her comments. To me it just smacks of that high school, competitive petty-girl mentality when a certain type of girl would make a comment that she knew would hit you right where it hurt the most. I hope I am wrong, especially since you think of this girl as a friend. But I just can''t see how she would have thought that you might actually benefit form that comment- "Oh, that''s what we''ve been doing wrong! We simply have to stop caring about having a baby and then it will happen for us!"-

Give me a break.

OK, I''ll get off my soap box now. It just really frustrates me that someone would act that way. I''m sorry that she made you feel bad. She cannot possibly understand what you (and Paul) have been going through. ****Hugs****

 

[October2008bride]

Lurker here - just popped in to check for news and I''m SO EXCITED for you Peony!!!!!! What a great birthday present!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!

 

[natalina]

Oh Peony!!! I am so excited for you! I actually teared up when I saw your post with the pic of the stick!!!! This is so wonderful!

CONGRATULATIONS! I really hope that you are kicking off another string of BFP''s for all the ladies testing soon!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Peony!

Congratulations, girl. How''s that for a birthday wish come true?

Care to share your chart? You know it''s like a tradition here these days...

Wishing you and your husband all the happiness in the world as your family grows!

 

[E B]

Congratulations, Peony!

What an amazing birthday gift! (And happy belated, by the way! I''m so sorry I missed it!).

 

[phoenixgirl]

Peony, my due date is Oct. 22 (I think -- missed my first dr. appt. due to snow last week so now it''s Tuesday, but that''s starting from my last period and I ovulated day 14 or 15). I''m only 7w2d.


Fisher et. al., I agree that that comment was totally insensitive. Ugh. I get that people who''ve gotten pregnant right away don''t have any sense of what it''s like, but can''t they use their imaginations a little bit?


Along the same lines, I went out for dinner with a close friend and another friend of hers. The friend of a friend (FOF) is really oblivious and self-centered. I didn''t tell them I was pregnant because my friend (mid 40s, hysterectomy, never wanted kids) was upset that her boyfriend wasn''t sure about marriage because he wasn''t sure he didn''t want kids. (Obviously, this was not the time to say, speaking of having kids . . .). Anyway, the oblivious FOF kept interrupting her and being like, "Yeah, my girlfriend thought she didn''t want kids, but then she changed her mind." Friend: "I can''t have kids. I''ve had a hysterectomy." FOF: "Oh, my girlfriend thought she couldn''t either." So what, my friend is just mistaken about her lack of desire and inability to have kids? Can we talk about her relationship please? FOF then launched into a long diatribe about how she wished she had had premarital counseling with her husband and all of his faults. Yes, the fact that your husband annoys you when he helpfully tries to suggest jobs you might want to apply for is much more important that my friend facing the end of a relationship she cares about over irreconcilable differences. FOF also gave a little speech about how people who "try" to get pregnant are really annoying (she got accidentally pregnant in her late 30s when her husband wanted to try but she didn''t feel ready). Yeah, it''s really annoying when you make responsible life choices and plan for a beautiful future with children. Ugh. Some people think their banal insights about everything must be shared regardless of who might feel uncomfortable.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Girls,

Thanks so much for the words of support. I do know that my friend wasn't trying to be harsh at all, although that doesn't make what she said right, by any means. I have been *extremely* emotional as of late, and I had not been in a more emotional state, I doubt it would have hurt as much as it did at the time. The fact is that if someone never experiences something, they have a very difficult time empathizing, no matter what the experience is you're speaking of. I had no (and I mean absolutely *n*o*) idea how heartbreaking the act of waiting to be pregnant could/would be before I started the journey, so I understand others who've not been there also not understanding it. For what it's worth, my friend (and she really is a friend) spoke with me yesterday about it and apologized for implying I was annoying, when she was referring to the former co-worker. I think there is a time and a place for everything, and I'm not so sure that sharing about CM and actual sexual acts along the TTC journey is appropriate in most areas, one of those being the work place. So, I can understand that former co-worker being "annoying," but I still think there is a general lack of empathy for the heartache of TTC at times. The good news is, though, that all the sadness and anxiety almost always ends in a baby, and I remain convinced that it will for us, and for my dear friends here.

*****
Peony,

What your co-worker said to you was far worse than what I experienced. I would have burst into tears if someone said that to me! Good thing you can now wave a positive test in her face, huh?

Congratulations, again, girl. So very happy for you!!

 

[peonygirl]

Fisher, your wish is my command! I switched it to Research mode and it changed my coverline and O day, so I''ll stick with day 17. Seven is DH''s lucky number because he was born 7/7/79. I got a positive on day 27 on March 7th after almost exactly 7 months of trying! That is pretty funny. I''m probably just seeing patterns where I want to see them. I remember that my last positive was on Dec 17, which I consider to be a lucky and happy day too, even though it ended up sad.

I don''t really have a temp for today because I forgot to temp when I got up this morning. Too nervous I guess. I just approximated 98.6 from a 98.8 taken at my usual time but when I''d been moving around for 2 hrs. I have felt really hot for the last week! Oh, and all of the Friday temps were taken 1.5 hrs before I usually temp because I get up early for class those days, just in case you''re wondering what the open circles mean. I am sending you tons of good vibes, and I''m really hopeful that this is your month. I do think it sounds like you may have had a chemical last month, which in some ways is actually a good sign. Are you leaning toward testing, and if so what day?

October, thanks SO much!!!!!!! It''s fun that there are so many lurkers here!

Natalina, thanks SO much! I got a rainbow of congratulations! When is your due date again? Maybe it will make me more brave to venture off into the prego thread in a few weeks if I know that there are lots of others in their first trimester.

Ebree, thanks so much! I could actually use your expertise now. Of course I am desperate to do anything to prevent another miscarriage, even though I know that most of the time that''s not possible. It''s a Saturday now, but hopefully I can get in contact on Monday with the ob/gyn I saw for Clomid to ask him if there''s anything. Since you''ve had more experience with this than me unfortunately, I thought that you might know specifically if I should ask for anything, like progesterone monitoring. It''s very high now and I doubt that was my problem last time, but just in case! Would it be too late to do something like baby aspirin at this point?

 

[Sha]

Yay Peony!!!

Congratulations!! That''s a great birthday present!! I''m sure it''ll take a little while to sink in and seem real. Hope you have a sticky bean, and will have a happy and healthy 9 months.

Thanks for sharing what you did this cycle, as well. I''m glad the Clomid and OPKs worked for you!

CD10