The Official TTC Thread!

[split_shank]

Hi! New to this thread, but been following for some time. We are thinking of TTC in a few months, and while still in the early stages of being FOR SURE, the one thought still scares the crap out of me... How are we going to afford daycare?? Any thoughts on how every other person in the world makes it work? I would love not to work, but I don''t think it would be financially do-able. Any opinions are greatly appreciated. Hope to get involved in this thread more soon!! THanks!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

So, now that I am just barely over the flu, DH has it. I think our TTC is pushed back a month now

Probably for the best, but still frustrating! Also, I am pretty sure I ovulated on CD 13 this month, so maybe last month''s CD 17 was a fluke? I never really paid attention before, so this is all new

I''ve been thinking alot about the childcare issue. As someone who worked her way through school as a professional nanny I have strong opinions and ridiculously high standards for childcare

We live in NYC, both work for non-profits, and are both in school. I''m working on an MBA and he''s starting a post-bac b/c he wants to apply to med school--this is what happens when classically-trained musicians turn 30

Anyway, I think for us we''ll both have to keep working full-time and look into a nanny share, small in-home daycare, or SAHM who wants to take care of another child 3-5 days a week when the time comes. I''m sure we''ll find a solution that we are comfortable with, but in a perfect world I would be most happy working 2.5-3 days a week and being home the rest of the time. That isn''t feasible now, but hopefully by the time we''re thinking about a second child that will be more of an option...there is a possibility I may be able to work from home 1-2 days a week which might be a good compromise.

If I get a job that pays more, then we might try to do one of the large daycares near where I work so I could see/nurse the baby at least once, hopefully twice, during the day. I think that would help me feel more comfortable with the situation and be better for the baby if we can swing that...

I agree, it is very daunting--especially in NYC where childcare is through the roof--I''d love to hear what you all are thinking about this!

 

[Lanie]

Date: 12/8/2009 10:21:37 AM
Author: split_shank
Hi! New to this thread, but been following for some time. We are thinking of TTC in a few months, and while still in the early stages of being FOR SURE, the one thought still scares the crap out of me... How are we going to afford daycare?? Any thoughts on how every other person in the world makes it work? I would love not to work, but I don''t think it would be financially do-able. Any opinions are greatly appreciated. Hope to get involved in this thread more soon!! THanks!

A BIIIIIIG plus one on this one!

Newborn daycare in my area starts at 1,000K. That''s almost like having a second mortgage payment! And my DH is an architect and I''m a teacher = not a lot of money.

Are nannies cheaper? I guess it depends...

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Well I think in the majority of situations both parents are working and bringing in enough to make daycare worth it and affordable. There''s also flexible spending accounts available so your child care costs are pretax. Additionally, having a child means you pay less tax overall so you''ll get a little more in your paychecks. No one said having a baby was inexpensive and child care is a necessary evil if you want/have to work.

 

[janinegirly]

Regarding 2 working parents and making it work with a newborn--this is something you need to talk about with your DH and then start talking to other moms who do it. Everyone does things differently and often what ends up happeneing is different from what was planned, but you still need to have a plan (and back up just in case).

Daycare is super expensive around me too. People do it b/c it''s still makes more finaincial ssense then a one-income family. You would need to crunch the numbers in your case to see if it works, i.e. how much you''re taking home vs. the costs of daycare, commuting, tax implications,etc. etc. Babies don''t have to be expensive, but childcare sure is! Nannies will not be cheaper however--it is pricier and you will need to work in vacation time, benefits etc. And there is the personal decision of do you prefer daycare over nannies or vice versa.

In my case my mother watches my DD 4 days a week and 1 day a week I work from home. I never would have guessed this is how it would have turned out, but I am lucky and my mom seems to enjoy it. Eventually DD will go to daycare/pre-school for 2-3 days a week, but prob not before 18mo''s. Don''t ask me how it works with 2!

Hope this helps!!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 12/4/2009 11:48:06 AM
Author: parrot tulips
I don''t post too often, because a lot of my questions have already been asked & answered, but I haven''t seen anything recently on treatment for headaches/migraines. Even though I''m still TTC, I figured it''s best to treat my body as though I''m already pregnant. I''ve read that Tylenol is okay, but to avoid aspirin and ibuprofen. However, Tylenol can''t put a dent in even my mildest headaches. If I get to my headache early on with Excedrin (contains aspirin), I''m fine, if not, I''m stuck with a massive headache accompanied by nausea and slightly numb hands for at least 2-3 days. Luckily the days of my bad migraines are over, but the headaches I get are nasty enough. Is there anything I can (safely) do besides wait it out in a dark, quiet room?

Thanks for all the lovely advice givers on this board! And I get so excited every time someone posts good (or potentially good) news!

Migraine sufferer here - I was told absolutely NO as far as ALL migraine meds are concerned, so that was things like Zomig and Amitriptyline out the window. NSAIDs like Ibuprofen are also absolute no-nos.

Tylenol is fine and any of the opiates are fine - so codeine etc as they are very safe in pregnancy. I only had two bad migraines whilst pg and just hit the codeine for them, but thank goodness I got preggo so fast as mine are oestrogen linked and so I get them everytime AF shows up...

Haven''t had one since D was born - must be the bfing keep those pesky oestrogens at bay!

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 12/8/2009 7:11:44 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 12/4/2009 11:48:06 AM
Author: parrot tulips
I don''t post too often, because a lot of my questions have already been asked & answered, but I haven''t seen anything recently on treatment for headaches/migraines. Even though I''m still TTC, I figured it''s best to treat my body as though I''m already pregnant. I''ve read that Tylenol is okay, but to avoid aspirin and ibuprofen. However, Tylenol can''t put a dent in even my mildest headaches. If I get to my headache early on with Excedrin (contains aspirin), I''m fine, if not, I''m stuck with a massive headache accompanied by nausea and slightly numb hands for at least 2-3 days. Luckily the days of my bad migraines are over, but the headaches I get are nasty enough. Is there anything I can (safely) do besides wait it out in a dark, quiet room?

Thanks for all the lovely advice givers on this board! And I get so excited every time someone posts good (or potentially good) news!

Migraine sufferer here - I was told absolutely NO as far as ALL migraine meds are concerned, so that was things like Zomig and Amitriptyline out the window. NSAIDs like Ibuprofen are also absolute no-nos.

Tylenol is fine and any of the opiates are fine - so codeine etc as they are very safe in pregnancy. I only had two bad migraines whilst pg and just hit the codeine for them, but thank goodness I got preggo so fast as mine are oestrogen linked and so I get them everytime AF shows up...

Haven''t had one since D was born - must be the bfing keep those pesky oestrogens at bay!

I''m also a migraine sufferer, and unfortuantely for me pregnancy made it worse! I had a "mild" migraine everyday in the first trimester

And they returned towards the end of my pregnancy as well. What helped me was taking Excedrin Tension headache. It''s basically just tyelonol w/ a little caffeine. My doctor recommended it and I would take it at the first sign of a migraine. Worked really well for me.

 

[dcgator]

Hello ladies,

I just thought I would throw out there that the people who put out "What to Expect When You''re Expecting" have just put out a "What to Expect Before You''re Expecting." While scanning the Preconception books, this is definitely the most up to date, being published in 2009, versus most that were printed in the late 90''s early 00''s.

I haven''t finished it yet, but I am finding it is pretty easy reading with some good points. It also has "daddy tips" highlighted throughout for dads to get ready too =0)

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 12/7/2009 1:11:40 PM
Author: Lanie


LovesVintage -- how are you doing lady? Are you back from your vacation? Don''t know if you have left yet.

Hi Lanie

, I''m back from vacation! We got back late last night, so I had planned to take today off too. It snowed 5 inches this morning, so it felt a bit like a snow day since I was home. We were in Florida in 80 degree weather, so it was quite a change! I may try to post some pics later if I can re-size quickly. We went to a few nature preserves, the Everglades, Key West and Naples area (to visit the greyhound track where my sweet boy Jasper (avatar) raced!!)

I am sooooo NOT pregnant! I had really convinced myself that the spotting was a sure sign that I was, but I am not, so I have no idea what caused it. Even though I had convinced myself that I was, I was still pretty sure that I was not, if that makes any sense . . . all of the BFNs helped me establish the non-probability as time passed. I was a little sad about it, but I was also on vacation and having lots of fun, so it wasn''t so bad to deal with the disappointment.

I am on CD5 now and just started Clomid.

Geri and Oobiecoo, Congratulations!! May you each have wonderful pregnancies!!!

And, WELCOME to all the new ladies joining us!!!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Good morning ladies. It''s Thursday 12/10 and there''s still no sign of AF....not even a tiny cramp or hint of a mood swing... I''m at least 7 days late now. I''m thinking it might be time for another test...

Still no PG signs either though....

 

[noelwr]

HH - definitely sounds like time for another test. I think it is common not to have any symptoms the first weeks.

LV - welcome back. it''s nice you had a great vacation to keep your mind on other things. good luck with Clomid. what is it exactly? I mean I know what it does, but does it come in pill form or do you get shots? sorry if I am asking tmi. I could also just google it.

 

[dcgator]

Date: 12/10/2009 8:50:35 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Good morning ladies. It''s Thursday 12/10 and there''s still no sign of AF....not even a tiny cramp or hint of a mood swing... I''m at least 7 days late now. I''m thinking it might be time for another test...

Still no PG signs either though....

HH: I am guessing that you may be KU, but the last post you said you were happy and sad when you thought your weren''t preggers. How do you feel now? Are you ok if you are KU, or are we hoping AF comes?

Either way, please let us know what the test says and we will be here to support either way

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Honestly I''m in a whatever happens happens state of mind. I''m a pretty realistic person so I know that babies never come at the most ideal time. And it''s really only a month or two down the road that we planned to start TTC so it''s really not a big thing. Especially once Swimmer brought to my attention the fact that the state of MA has it''s own version of FMLA that you''re eligible for after only 3 months, not 12. So I think I''d be OK with it if it were positive. I know DH would be over the moon if it were positive. I think my reservations are more just about change and fear of something new than not wanting a baby. I want kids and I''m confident in my ability to care for a child. So we''ll see....

 

[dcgator]

So although we are not really trying yet, more like planning on it, I think I may have been preggers this past month...Why do I think that:

1. I had seriously tender/sore BB''s. I know some say they get this right before AF, but I haven''t ever had it like this before.
2. While I got AF yesterday, I am experiencing some unusually strong cramping. I usually do get some light cramping right before, but it has been going on for two days now, ugh.
3. AF is really heavy this month

Has anybody else experienced this?

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 12/10/2009 10:03:01 AM
Author: noelwr
HH - definitely sounds like time for another test. I think it is common not to have any symptoms the first weeks.

LV - welcome back. it''s nice you had a great vacation to keep your mind on other things. good luck with Clomid. what is it exactly? I mean I know what it does, but does it come in pill form or do you get shots? sorry if I am asking tmi. I could also just google it.

Hi noelwr,

I''m glad to hear that you are doing well. I read your recent post in the JBP PSers thread. I like your attitude toward pregnancy as well. When I first started working in a large office, I was absolutely amazed by the women who would work until just before giving birth, and carried on about their lives as regular as can be. It seems like it should be delicate business, carrying and growing a baby, but so many women in the world get pregnant and give birth under such stressful and strenuous circumstances, it is amazing to think about it!

Your question was not requesting TMI at all. The Clomid is in a pill form. I take 100 mg for for 5 nights in a row, through Sunday night, then I have an US on Monday to see how my follicles are progresssing. I should ovulate 7 days after the last dose of Clomid. I think I will have another US on the following Monday, or pehaps I use the fertility monitor, and then they will determine whether I will take hCG, which is an injectable.

Previously, I posted that I thought this was an agressive approach, not because of the injectable drug, but because I think most REs start Clomid at 50 mg, with an increase to 100 mg if the 50 does not work. In a later cycle, injectables may be introduced. I have not thoroughly researched this, so I could be wrong, but that is just what I vaguely recall from my reading here. There are different types of injectable medications as well, so I could be completely wrong.

If any of the ladies who have taken Clomid, or the other meds, would like to chime in, I would love to hear about your experiences. I could also go back and read this whole thread, which I''ve been meaning to do, just haven''t gotten to it yet.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

dc sometimes my salt intake/hydration levels affect my cramps and flow rate. If I''m dehydrated I get the WORST cramps.

 

[dcgator]

Date: 12/10/2009 1:11:26 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
dc sometimes my salt intake/hydration levels affect my cramps and flow rate. If I''m dehydrated I get the WORST cramps.

HH: thanks for the advice. I don''t think I am dehydrated, since I probably drink 4-5 glasses of water a day, plus other stuff. It could be another cyst, but I usually don''t get them during my period. I made an appt to go the Dr. tomorrow though, b/c I don''t feel great, and I would rather be safer than sorry if something else is up.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

well good luck!!

 

[noelwr]

Mrs. HH - well, what''s the verdict? did you end up taking another test? you''ve got us on the edge of our seats!

LV - thanks for the info on Clomid. it''s amazing how science has progressed that it now can help women to have children. I think it''s wonderful. and that they can do an U/S on something as small as your follicles... fantastic! I mean I''m already amazed how a body knows to ovulate, how the sperm knows to find the egg, how the embryo knows how to attach... these things are all so complicated and then we can actually influence these things if they are not functioning optimally. ok, I could go on, but I''ll stop now.

thank you for liking my attitude. sometimes I can be a little direct, but sometimes I, too, can go a little overboard with the pregnancy thing with worrying too much. luckily DH keeps me in check and I realize there isn''t much I can do except eat healthy and exercise. I found a "Hot Mommas" pregnancy course that I''m interested in which I think I will eventually sign up for. it''s run by a lady who first of all believes that you are in charge of your body and other people should respect the decisions you make (a big one in Holland being if you choose to give birth in the hospital with an epidural... most midwives and doctors try to pressure you into giving birth at home without pain reliever

), and also that pregnancy is not an excuse to not care about how you look. so basically she promotes the modern, fashionable pregnant woman. not that I''m very fashionable, but I sure don''t want to be frumpy!

dcgator - let us know how your appointment went.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Noel, I''ve not taken another test yet. DH is in California this week on business and I''ve decided to wait for him to come back, he''s back tonight so I''ll test tomorrow am. Still no sign of AF though...

 

[noelwr]

oh, that''s so sweet that you''re waiting for your husband.

I did it on my own in the morning, and that evening I gave it to DH saying "Hey, we made a zygote." he was in shock and proceeded to get drunk (we went out that evening... not like he went to the cupboard and drank himself into a stupor), but at least he made sure no one else tried to buy me a drink.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

LOL, he''s been referring to me as "you and clumpy" for the past week.

 

[Puppmom]

HH, you are so patient and have such will power!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Noel - The class you mentioned sounds really interesting. When will you be able to take it? I'd love to hear more about it.

So, in Holland, they advocate for home births without pain medication? Is this true for other European countries as well, do you know? What do they suggest you use instead of pain medication, or epidural? I believe Drk mentioned hypno-birthing in another thead. I looked this up and found that my hospital offers hypnobirthing!!! I do intend to research this further, but at this point, I love the idea! With that said, I do understand that things do not always go as planned, so I would only want to give birth in a hospital setting. With home birthing, do they bring all equipment for monitoring, intervention, etc. to your home? In the US, I am sure there are many waivers and releases of legal liability to be signed by the patient.

HH - I'll be looking forward to your update!

 

[dcgator]

So I went to the doc this morning and she thinks that I just had another cyst. She said that despite them usually coming in the middle of my cycles, they can be during AF and that this one probably was. She also said I should get an US, just to make sure everything is ok, but that she thinks I will be ok.
So, yeah for being ok, but boo for PITA cysts.

HH: I think that is nice that you are waiting until your DH comes home. But, let us know what happens after that. Good luck!

 

[noelwr]

guys, please tell me if I am annoying you by being on this thread. it''s just that not much posting is done on the barely preggo thread, and I don''t feel ready to be on the "grown up" preggo thread.

dcgator - yay for being ok! again, amazing that they can use an U/S to check out cysts.

LV - it''s not true for other European countries that they "frown upon" hospital birth and epidurals. so I don''t know why Holland has to be the only western country that makes home births the norm. if you want a home birth that''s fine, but you shouldn''t be judged if you want to do something else. there are only a select number of hospitals that give epidurals and many of these only when the anesthetist is working, between 9 and 5. apparently the doctors and midwives have no problem expressing their opinions and pressuring women into home births. they say it''s better for the baby because it''s more natural and better for the mom because it''s in a place she is comfortable. they tell you that if the epidural isn''t done right you can become paralyzed and that woman are supposed to feel the natural pain. anyway, I already picked a doc who works with a hospital where they do administer epidural round-the-clock and not so far away from where I live. and I will not let myself be bossed to change my mind. ok, I had a look at what you need to give birth at home (subsidized by your health insurance, they send it to you in a packet): mattress protector, pads, cotton, gauze, thermometer, disinfectant, soap and this thing to cut off the umbilical cord. no monitors. but I do have to point out that they will allow only low-risk pregnancies to deliver at home (which most are) and you have to live within 30 min from the hospital.

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

I''ve been super busy so I haven''t had time to post but have been checking in from time to time- congrats on those who got KU this month!! So happy for you all and hopefully there will be many more in the new year!

I had my HSG this past week on CD 10 and tubes are clear!! The actual test was moderately painful for me- felt like severe cramping and spotted for 2 days after which the doc said was to be expected. I start 50mg clomid next month CD 5-9. Wishing it didn''t come to that, but looking forward to a renewed sense of hope as DH and I have been TTC for a while now.

On another note, I was offered a 2nd interview (1st interview was before TTC) w/ a company I''ve been trying to get into for a couple years- I''ve been at my current company for 5 yrs full time and was planning on staying there until I had a baby and then considering freelancing part time- so needless to say this creates a REALLY difficult situation as to what to do- concerned about getting KU after only being at a new job for a couple months- anyone else in/or have been in a similar situation!?!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 12/11/2009 12:45:37 PM
Author: noelwr
guys, please tell me if I am annoying you by being on this thread. it''s just that not much posting is done on the barely preggo thread, and I don''t feel ready to be on the ''grown up'' preggo thread.

dcgator - yay for being ok! again, amazing that they can use an U/S to check out cysts.

LV - it''s not true for other European countries that they ''frown upon'' hospital birth and epidurals. so I don''t know why Holland has to be the only western country that makes home births the norm. if you want a home birth that''s fine, but you shouldn''t be judged if you want to do something else. there are only a select number of hospitals that give epidurals and many of these only when the anesthetist is working, between 9 and 5. apparently the doctors and midwives have no problem expressing their opinions and pressuring women into home births. they say it''s better for the baby because it''s more natural and better for the mom because it''s in a place she is comfortable. they tell you that if the epidural isn''t done right you can become paralyzed and that woman are supposed to feel the natural pain. anyway, I already picked a doc who works with a hospital where they do administer epidural round-the-clock and not so far away from where I live. and I will not let myself be bossed to change my mind. ok, I had a look at what you need to give birth at home (subsidized by your health insurance, they send it to you in a packet): mattress protector, pads, cotton, gauze, thermometer, disinfectant, soap and this thing to cut off the umbilical cord. no monitors. but I do have to point out that they will allow only low-risk pregnancies to deliver at home (which most are) and you have to live within 30 min from the hospital.

That is so naughty of them. The level that the epidural is put in is well below the point in the spine that can have a risk of paralysis, so it''s actually impossible.

In the UK we can have home births, but only if you are low risk and live in an area where there are enough midwives. They bring a pack to your house - and also some canisters of Entonox so you do have pain relief, some will also give pethidine. Most people choose a hospital birth, but a lot of hospitals have a low risk area and a high risk area - in the low risk side you have water pools and it''s more midwife led. In the high-risk areas you can have an epidural and whilst you are with a midwife for the entire birth there are more OBs around in case there are problems.

 

[Laila619]

lucy,

Yay for the good news on the HSG! I found it a bit painful too. But that''s a relief that everything is perfect.

 

[Kit]

Quick report out and question:

AF came on Friday, which was very disappointing especially since this cycle we used Preseed and Instead cups. I feel like chances are high we did create something in there, but it did not implant.

TMI alert: when I first started bleeding it seemed very clotty, which I don''t recall experiencing in the past. Poor DH was very blue on Friday night.

Question: should I be concerned about my luteal phase? This past cycle I O''ed on CD15 or CD16 (depending on how you interpret my positive OPKs). I started spotting on CD25, with full AF happening CD26 (aka CD1 of next cycle). I have always had a shorter luteal phase but now that I am O''ing later in my cycle I wonder if this is causing problems with implataion. Before my mc, I would usually O on CD13 or CD14 and have a 24/25 day cycle. So, it seems like my luteal phase is shortening.

I plan to start temping again this cycle to get more data on what is going on, but I''m wondering if anyone can tell me about how a Dr. would place a woman on progesterone therapy, how do they diagnose a luteal phase defect and any advice anyone has would be great.

TIA!