The Official TTC Thread!

[Krissie]

Thank you so much to Bella, Miscka and Blackpaw for your sweet, thoughtful words. They mean so much to me at a time in which DH and I feel so despondent (and reluctant to tell anyone IRL except our families). You are all such special ladies - thank you!

We do feel fortunate that time is on our side, in a sense - we are in our early thirties and are otherwise healthy, so hopefully although this door seems to be closed, another one will open.

 

[LAJennifer]

Soooooo, Kaiser called and canceled my fertility appointment for Monday. And of course they don''t answer when you call back. This is the second time they have canceled my initial appointment. I was supposed to have been seen on May 24. Beyond frustrating!

 

[noelwr]

Po - I seriously don''t want any money for them. I''m just glad they''ll be put to use (though even more so I hope you won''t even need them, yourself

)

if you can''t get the moderator to give you my e-mail address, let me know.

 

[CDNinNYC]

Deelight, congrats on your wedding and welcome to the TTC thread! Where are you heading off to on your HM?

 

[LAJennifer]

Date: 6/24/2010 9:57:29 PM
Author: LAJennifer
Soooooo, Kaiser called and canceled my fertility appointment for Monday. And of course they don''t answer when you call back. This is the second time they have canceled my initial appointment. I was supposed to have been seen on May 24. Beyond frustrating!

Lucky me - the doctor they had assigned me to isn''t coming back (whatever that means). Another doctor can see me some time in August. Un-effing-believable!

 

[Laila619]

Date: 6/24/2010 9:57:29 PM
Author: LAJennifer
Soooooo, Kaiser called and canceled my fertility appointment for Monday. And of course they don't answer when you call back. This is the second time they have canceled my initial appointment. I was supposed to have been seen on May 24. Beyond frustrating!

This is ridiculous! How can they keep doing this?! I would pay out of pocket, or call up Kaiser and give them an ear full.

Can you go to a different doctor's office?

 

[blondebunny]

just wanted to post for you ladies! Its a $3 off 1 ept!
http://www.addictedtosaving.com/2010/06/25/more-3-00-off-e-p-t-printables/

 

[Loves Vintage]

LAJennifer, I am really furious about this for you. I can't believe how long they have been stringing you along. I would seriously go to the appointment on Monday, calmly explain to the receptionist the situation and tell her that you WILL be seeing a doctor that day. End of story. They do have other doctors there, don't they?? They must have nurses too?!? The percentage of time I spent with the nurses at my RE's office as compared to time spent with the doctor was like 95 to 5%.

Seriously, this is crazy! What would they tell you if you had a heart condition and one cardiologist left -- come back in 3 months, sorry if you die sooner??????!!!!!

Even if you went on Monday and they told you, sorry, maybe at least there is some type of administrator that you could speak with and get to see someone during that week. If you go in person, they have to deal with you. If I recall correctly, you have had a hard time getting in touch with them by phone.

I am not familiar with Kaiser, but it sounds like it's very common in CA. Can you go to another clinic in another city that is still Kaiser?

Perhaps there is a state agency that oversees Kaiser that you can plead your case to or file a complaint with?

 

[parrot tulips]

Date: 6/25/2010 11:49:22 AM
Author: LAJennifer

Date: 6/24/2010 9:57:29 PM

Author: LAJennifer

Soooooo, Kaiser called and canceled my fertility appointment for Monday. And of course they don''t answer when you call back. This is the second time they have canceled my initial appointment. I was supposed to have been seen on May 24. Beyond frustrating!

Lucky me - the doctor they had assigned me to isn''t coming back (whatever that means). Another doctor can see me some time in August. Un-effing-believable!

Are you serious? That''s ridiculous! Is there another Kaiser within a reasonable distance you could go to?

I didn''t contact Kaiser until late April (this year) to discuss possible infertility. I took the class in May, where I immediately got my lab requests for the 3 & 21 day blood work and SA, and had my initial consultation last week where (despite all of our tests looking just fine) I got prescribed my first round of Clomid, with instructions to come in for an IUI on my next cycle. I saw a very proactive doctor who figured that after trying diligently for nearly a full year, it wouldn''t hurt to give nature a little...assistance (provided I was comfortable with it). I wonder if Northern & Southern California Kaisers have different processes? Or if it''s simply a matter of the staff at certain hospitals being more sympathetic to how frustrating this process is?

 

[Ryan Claire]

Thanks for the comments on the photo... I highly recommend Costa Rica and that resort (Nayara Arenal Hotel).

Bella, Bliss, DcGator, - thanks for the support and encouragement

lili - I am 27 so my dr. approach relates more to her style than to my age. Bummed to be having these issues at 27, but I guess it''s better to find them out now than later. Thanks for the luck.

Krissie - I am so sorry about your dh''s SA. I am sure it''s tough news for both of you. Glad to hear you are ovulating regularly, but I definitely understand why you feel a little hopeless right now. Hope you defy the odds this month!

DC - sorry vacation didn''t produce good news for you either. I can appreciate your desire to want to retreat and take some time to deal with all of this on your own. I hope you feeling better.

Deelight - welcome! I hope you have some good news for your honeymoon.

LAJennifer - Auuuugggghhhh that is terrible. I am so sorry they are giving you such a runaround - and this is just the intial appointment. I hope you have some other specialists you can consult with in your area. May - to August is not acceptable. I would be fuming. What are you gonna do?


*************

Bad news at my ultrasound this morning. After waiting for 15 minutes in the main waiting room, 15 minutes in the interior waiting room, and 35 minutes waiting 1/2 naked on the exam table... I saw the doctor for 5 minutes. Long enough for her to see that no follicles had developed. She claims a few were bigger than before and wants to reassess on Monday. I think it''s bs to get more appointments in... but whatever. I asked her if it was likely that there would be any follicles on Monday and she said 50-50. I think that is a gross over estimation... but again, whatever. I also am signed up for an IUI class next Thursday to learn about IUI and injectables. It''s at 11:45am... 45 minutes from and to work. And I have to call my insurance and sort out what they will and won''t pay for prior to the class, which I just did - and they will cover the IUI and Sperm washing, but not the injectables which can be over a grand a month. Awesome.

BLAAAAAAAAAHHH.

 

[LAJennifer]

Thanks, everyone, for letting me vent. Oh believe me - I''ve gone in person - they are actually better on the phone. It is a very small department and I know everyone by first name. They just don''t care. They gave me the number for Kaiser in Downey - so I called - they couldn''t see me until August as well.

Kaiser - worst decision of my life!

For those of you who have good experiences with fertility depts at Kaiser in Southern California, can you tell me where you go? Could you ask your doctors about my situation and see if they have any suggestions? Can you doctors squeeze me in? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GO TO KAISER SUNSET.

 

[geri]

Miscka, Bella, Deelight, Lili, Po - thankyou all so much. We aren''t sharing yet in real life so its great to have people cheering you on.

DCG - thankyou. It really means a lot to me. I''m sorry you are having a hard time at the moment. You have been such a great cheerleader for all of us and we''ll miss you but I hope you get some resolution soon and come back again when you''re ready.

RyanClaire - thankyou also. I''m sorry this process is so long and frustrating for you but I''m glad to hear they are being very proactive for you. I hope you get some positive news on Monday but if not that the next round of treatment is successful for you.

Krissie - I''m so sorry for what you are going through and hope you are getting the care and support that you need.

LA Jennifer - I''m sorry. That just sucks.

 

[Po10472]

Good morning

I''ve been popping in every day, just being nosey and the board has been very quiet of late. Where is everyone? Is it holiday-time and everyone is off on lavish beach breaks?

I am on cd10, quite uneventful although I did get my first high today. I should be ov''ing around cd 15/16 so not for another few days anyhoo. If my tarot reading is right, I''ll not be conceiving until October so the next few months should be relaxing, no pressure - yeah right!!

Anyhoo, hope you all have a lazy Sunday. I''m going to do the garden, it badly needs it so no doubt that means the rain will arrive even tho we''ve had some scorchio weather here in Scotland.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

CD 8 here...no major news (except that I got a little distracted and bought a new eternity band this week

I took 3 dance classes yesterday and am SORE today. OOOWWWW!


Halfway through the West African class I was like, "hmmm...I wonder i I should be doing this much jumping or if it will impede implantation? and then I was like, tough luck kiddo, if you want to burrow in, burrow in, you just need to hang on if you are there

" I''m glad that for this cycle at least I am more chill and feel like I have my life back!

Ryan-I am so sorry that you had disappointing news at the RE. I hope that they figure out something that works better for you. I know a lot of ladies here have had good luck with Follistim...

Big hugs to everyone and fingers crossed for the 2ww people!!!!

P.S. DCG, if you are lurking know that I feel for you and hope that this process becomes more peaceful and enjoyable for you! I don''t know why I feel more calm this cycle, I just do. DH even noticed which was funny I''m not sure what changed for me, b/c I was really discouraged the past 2 cycles. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

 

[wellinsm]

Hello ladies---

I haven''t been around for a while, so congrats to all the ladies with BFP over the past few weeks. So exciting!

My cycle post m/c went by fast it seems, and it appears I ovulated a few days eariler than the last time (but that was my first cycle charting so who knows), so I started spotting yesterday and will probably be CD1 tomorrow, which I am excited for. We can now "officially" start our first cycle of TTC! I bought some of the digitial OPK from Amazon and I decided I like them much better than the non- digital types. The

is so much fun to see. They were very accurate also, I got 2 positives and FF gave me crosshairs for the 2nd positive day. Hopefully they will be that accurate this cycle when it starts to count. I started taking Vitamin B-6 this cycle as well as I was concerned I didn''t have a long enough luteal phase (I''m a Dr. Google addict) and while I don''t know if it did any good I did get a 13 or 14 day LP this cycle. Extra vitamins (not an insane amount, an extra 100mg) helped I hope. At the least, perhaps it will boost my metabolism. I fell out of my normal w/o routine with everything that happened and the school year ending so I have no set routine now, but I managed to w/o last week and am set to go to 6am spin tomorrow. Once I started going again, I forgot how good I feel when I am done, so back to working out for me.

Hope to see more updates from all of you soon!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

wellinsm-Welcome back and I''m glad that you''re on your first official TTC cycle and that your post-MC cycle came so fast! Also glad you are feeling better!!!!

On my end...well...buckle up ladies b/c I need to vent. Calm Bella of this cycle pretty much dissolved today

I went to see Dr. Kind and Nerdy today. (thanks for the rec Bliss!!!!) At first glance everything looks normal, and he said we should keep doing what we are doing (well timed BDing, prenatals...) he also wrote a prescription for bloodwork on CD 2 or 3, a semen analysis for DH, and that test for me where they run dye through your fallopian tubes.

It kind of made it seem really real, like, there might actually be a problem

but he was super nice, and said we don''t really need to worry about anything or see an RE for another 4-5 months and it''s up to us when we want to do the test.

It was hard being in the office and seeing all these pregnant ladies and itty bitty newborn babies. I teared up 3 times in the waiting room and then again in the exam room I am super happy for all my friends IRL and on PS who are pregnant and am not jealous, but I was jealous of these ladies. Somehow, it felt different since I didn''t know them. All I could feel like was "why are they pregnant and not me"

Definitely not my proudest moment

So I call DH from outside the office and tell him that things look fine at first glance but that we should get the blood work and the semen analysis next week and then talk about more invasive testing. He''s like "ok, but maybe we should wait a few months for the semen analysis" and i was like "what, just last month you wanted to be all proactive and get your swimmers tested?!?!?!?!?"

So I got home and then we had a big fight bc I was trying to communicate that the appt was rough for me and he was like, "yeah but we weren''t even trying, we''ve only been trying for 2 months, why are you so emotional" and I was like, "maybe you weren''t trying but I thought we were and we said we were..." and it kind of spiraled out of control from there. it''s hot and we''re tired, and I''ve felt like my period (cramping, tired, emotional, poo parlor issues...the works... since Fri/Sat) so I am extra grumpy.

So, I guess now we are "really trying in terms of BDing" including DH, and I''m getting CD2 bloodwork, and DH is getting the semen analysis at the end of the summer (maybe earlier) and I think we''re going to wait on the fallopian thing until August.

DH thinks things are fine and we just need to time things better, which is true, but he''s also totally in denial now that something might be wrong

He has a friend who took well over a year for him and his wife to get pregnant so DH thinks that we''re golden as long as it takes less than 18 month

I don;t think I have 18 months of "trying" in me. So, we;re trying to talk through our expectations to get on the same page.

it was just a rough day.

Vent over...back to your usual programming

P.S. I know these period like symptoms on CD 6-9 could be a SIGN, but I had a BFN this morning and I am just feeling too fragile and frusterated my hopes up....

DCG--big hugs to you!!!!!!

 

[brooks]

Hi ladies ... seems like it''s been pretty quiet on this boards. Glad to be back and catch up with everyone!

LAJennifer - I hope you are able to get some resolution with Kaiser soon. What a nightmare! I can only imagine how frustrating that is.

Ryan Claire - I''m sorry to hear about your appt. Hoping your appointment on Monday goes better.

Wellism - Welcome back! I love the digital OPK''s too. The smiley face is just addicting. LOL.

Bella - I totally understand your frustration! It''s nice to have a place like this to come to for venting. This whole process is such an exercise in lack of control. I have had some ugly jealously moments as well that I am not exactly proud of, but I think that''s totally normal. I still have hopes for you for this month, but if this isn''t the month, I hope you able to more forward in finding out more.

DCG - Many good thoughts to you - We''ll miss you around here for now.

***************************************************

CD 22 here, just waiting for ovulation. I keep hoping every month that maybe I will ovulate a little earlier, but I''m not really sure if that''s going to happen. I''ve had my CD3 bloodwork, which came back normal. And we''ve had the semen analysis, which was also normal. It''s good to know those are ok. We''ve been trying for almost 8 months. My OB-GYN has suggested that they could put me on Clomid in August, if needed, but I''m not comfortable with doing an unmonitored cycle. We''ll be waiting until November to see an RE if there''s not any good news before then. I feel pretty calm this month, but we''ll see how the 2ww goes!

 

[dcgator]

Date: 6/28/2010 10:11:33 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo

On my end...well...buckle up ladies b/c I need to vent. Calm Bella of this cycle pretty much dissolved today

...

Vent over...back to your usual programming

DCG--big hugs to you!!!!!!

Oh Miss Bella,

I will totally break my quiet period to let you know that I am right there with you honey. I am so sorry for the arguement with DH, but I really do know just how you feel.

Without going into too much detail, I will say that DH and I fought our last day of vacation too. DH had one too many drinks and started to let out all the emotional issues he was having with the TTC process. Essentially, he saw me completely deflated when I got my last BFN and then got AF and he finally told me how upset he got everytime I got sad or depressed with every other BFN, even though he acted very cheerleader/"no worries, next time" when I got said BFN''s. He thought that I put too much pressure on myself and that I need to stop thinking that there was something wrong with me, b/c it was making the process too difficult and he began to doubt himself too. And the most heartbreaking thing was that he wouldn''t tell me all this stuff normally b/c he was being "the man" and trying to support me and didn''t want to show it, but clearly, I was causing him this kinda sadness/stress.

Funny enough, we had the same discussion about how long I qualify as TTC vs. how long he thinks we have been TTC. In my estimates, this is my 7th cycle off BC, and except for one month, we had a shot at it. His thinking is that he has only been "really trying" for 2 months. And he read online that it takes on average of 9 months to get KU, so there is nothing wrong. I tell ya, guys just are clueless sometimes. They only understand what the read or what their friend''s say, and they just don''t get the emotions that go into it. That being said though, you can''t really blame them for not getting it, as it just isn''t their bodies and the emotions that women have really can''t translate.

Anywho, after the minor breakdown, plus little "pep talks" from both his and my mom (ugh), I didn''t really know how to move forward. I was confused as to whether to stop everything, or go into denial and refuse to talk about it or what. I guess I just didn''t expect that kind of reaction and on top of feeling horrible for another futile month, I was feeling like sh*t b/c I made my DH feel bad. After taking time to sort through it all in my head, and then talking with DH about it, we decided that going backwards to just "guessing" wasn''t really smart, but that I needed to stop doing as much. So, I am temping only, no OPK''s, and I am not really pushing the BD''ing marathons, but kinda nudging him in that direction. I also, have clearly, stopped posting on the boards. (Though I am always looking out for my favorite group of ladies) DH is not aware, but I think I am O''ing tomorrow. So I will likey "suggest" some BD''ing tonight, but if he doesn''t feel like it, then so be it.

Going forward, I think I am more at peace with the whole TTC thing now b/c there are other life issues that are popping up, including that we might make a move in the coming months due to DH''s job. I kinda have the feeling now that what will be, will be and that if I don''t get KU this month, then the timing really isn''t right for us. I''m sure I will be somewhat (probably a lot) disappointed if I get another BFN this month, but I think I can reason that it probably wasn''t the right time.

As for you and your DH, as crappy as it makes you feel that DH is being a dork about the whole thing, know that he is probably having his own little freak out too. DH''s don''t want to think that something is wrong with them, nor do they want to accept that our freakouts and insecurities may be validated. DH''s want to be the problem solver and make everything better, not the reason for our sadness. If he wants to wait another month or two to have the SA, let him come to terms with it. You can still get your CD2 BW done, independent of him. Once you get those results back, and assuming that everything is fine on your end, then you two can have a tallk about his SA. Maybe find that comprise that if you try another two months w/out success, that it would mean a lot to you that he have that done, just so you can check the box off that list. Stress that you really don''t think there is anything wrong with his swimmers, but it''s just kinda protocal. And in the event there is an issue, that it''s probably the easiest thing to deal with, so not to worry too much about it.

I know this whole entire TTC process just plain old SUCKS most times, but I really believe that you two will get your LO soon. And I think that just as my mother told me (wouldn''t she love to hear that

), God reallly does know best, and he has his own master plan. I know that you will be blessed with a child of your own, so just try to keep the faith. And I know that is way easier to say than do, but let''s both try to do that this month. As some of the "elders" on the this thread, let''s show those new girls that we can do it! A big hug for you my dear

 

[noelwr]

wellinsm - yay for the 1st cycle again TTC! I''m glad the time went by quickly for you. I think mine was about 5 weeks (which isn''t bad at all), but just seemed to take forever because I really just wanted to start at it again because we were so close the first time... anyway, you know very well what I mean.

hugs Bells. I can''t pretend to know what you''re going through, but DH and I decided before TTC that if we didn''t fall pregnant, that we''d just leave it at that and not seek further help. the reason for this is that I didn''t want it to put any pressure on our relationship and I know that if DH got tested and it turned out to be a problem with him that it would be a real blow to his self-esteem. of course it''s easy for me to say now. maybe if I was in your situation I would also be pushing him to get tested. also you guys decided you would have a family, even if it requires adooption, where we said that we''d be content if it would just be the two of in the future. anyway, the whole point of this is that I think it is very difficult for men to find out that they are the ones holding up the progress and they''d rather just postpone and hope for the best that they don''t have to get tested where as for women we''re more willing to do whatever it takes.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks brooks, DC, and Noelwr!

I think it was just a rough day yesterday, I am feeling marginally better today and hope that tomorrow will be even better

With DH I was just super confused b/c last month out of the blue he wanted to go get his swimmers tested. I was like, no I don''t think you have to do that yet, and he was like ok, but if you think we should I will....

I''m sure he''s freaked a little, but mostly I''ve tried to downplay things so he wouldn''t get stressed about TTC, but I think because of that I''ve itnernalized a lot and he thinks everything is A-OKAY. So, I think I need to communicate more and not worry quite so much about freaking him out...I''m getting my bloodwork done b/c I want to know what''s going on with me. He can get his swimmers tested when he wants/if he wants and I think we''ll just see how everything goes.

So, I guess according to him we are about to start month 3 of TTC I''ll go with that, b/c it sounds less scary for now.

 

[Laila619]

Big hugs, Bella. I so understand what you''re going through. I agree with dcgator, you can still go ahead and get your CD 3 blood work and/or the HSG done, and that should be able to shed some light on the TTC process. I''m sure your DH will come around and agree to get his own testing done, once he sees what you have to go through.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks laila!

DH and I had another talk over lunch and basically he admitted that he''s freaked to get tested b/c what would it mean if something is wrong with either of us....I was like, "we cry for a day, feel relieved we know what''s up, and start our adoption paperwork ASAP". (b/c that''s how I deal with things, the not knowing is what stresses me out). He said he''d be really upset if something is wrong with him and he''s not sure if he wants to know. I can completely understand that!

So, I am getting my bloodwork and then in late summer/early fall I may get the HSG if we''re still not pregnant. if he wants to get his swimmers tested that''s fine, if not, that''s fine too...

in the meantime, we''ll just keep doing what we''re doing--trying to keep a sense of humor, having fun BDing, and trying to up the frequency, esp. around ovulation (but in a gentle, not stressful way

)

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Geri - HUGE HUGE CONGRATS TO YOU!

Deelight - WELCOME!

Ryan Claire - I am hoping that the 50/50 isn''t an overestimate. I really hope that this journey begins to get easier for you. I''m thinking good thoughts and sending them your way!
________________________________________________________
I''m still keeping up with the times, but I don''t have much to report. My cycle is still completely crazy and at this point DH and I have stopped "trying". Sure we still BD (

) but I am not charting or counting or paying much mind to things. Clearly my body is going to need a lot more time to adjust to not being on BC than most other ladies. I am completely fine with that need - I''d rather give my body a solid year before I start letting them poke and prod me. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If not, that''s okay too. These issues are not coming as a surprise to me and I am perfectly happy with this journey being a long time in the making.

Good luck to everyone!!!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Bella Big hugs to you girl. It will happen! Just keep on keepin'' on.

 

[swimmer]

NM, DC said it all so much better.
Hugs and support to everyone dealing with this stuff.

 

[swimmer]

LAJennifer, I am so sorry about your insurance insanity, how frustrating! good luck!!!

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

Bella- *hugs* I read your post and know how you feel as I was in a very similar situation last fall- all the testing can seem overwhelming at first, but I think it really makes the whole TTC process more empowering since any issues can be addressed at that time versus just keep trying not knowing whats going on. I dont think anyone ever goes into TTC thinking okay its gonna take several months, but for most people it does and that can be fusturating (I know it was for DH & I). I''m sure your DH will come around.

We had the exact same testing (CD3, SA, HSG) and it was really helpful- turned out eveything came back fine and we just needed to keep at it. SA- DH was able to do this at home and deliver the specimine to the lab which made the process more comfortable for him- many places allow that now. HSG- although uncomfortable, it is generally not painful. A positive side effect if your tubes are not blocked is increased chance of getting pregnant the following 3 months (we concieved 10 days after the HSG). As hard as it can be sometimes, dont give up as you can see all the success stories on this board- wish you all the best

 

[that_someone_special]

I haven''t posted in here yet, but sometimes I take a glance...

FI and I are getting married in 4 months and we had plans to start TTC when I''m 30.. (which seems to be coming up very quickly- I will be one month shy of turning 27 in 4 months)

I''ve started panicking though thinking we should start Winter ''11 just in case it takes us a few years...

Anyone else freaked out by this??

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Oh Bella, had to pop in. Thinking of you and your hubs. The SA was *freaking* my husband out. He put it off, said it wasn''t needed, that it was invasive (really??? I had stuff put in my whoo-hah and putting something in a cup was invasive for him??) and that he was not happy about the prospect of taking the test at all. I didn''t push, and he actually met with the Dr. at an appt. with me and asked all of his questions and went ahead and did it. He was able to take the cup already filled to the office and that was much easier for him. When he got the good results, I could see a weight lifted off his shoulders and now he talks about how it was no big deal.

Boys!!

At any rate, you and he can and should totally take the interventions and tests on your timeframe.... and yours alone. You''ll know what''s right for you and when...

Thinking of you!

****
GERI!!!!

Congratulations, lady. How I''m praying for you and baby! It''s going to be good; it''s going to be good.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

thanks Lucy--I''m re-thinking the HSG now because of your post (not super painful and a "success story" of TTC right afterwards...we''ll see).

I''m going to be AWOL for July--taking a PS break, trying to relax and reconnect with DH, going on a trip...but I''ll be thinking of you all and can''t wait to read about more incredible TTC blessings in August. I may lurk every once in a while, but mostly I think I''ll try to stay off PS.

XOXO,
Bella