To what degree do you think PSers enable?

[MichelleCarmen]

Ask anywhere else besides a jewelry forum and most will say a woman is X for wanting to upgrade what her husband proposed with...that is should be a sentimental piece. Here, the answer often is "c'mon...it's a JEWELRY forum!"

I saw a poll in some magazine at a hair salon and i cannot remember the exact figure, but it said that something like 75% or was it 90% thought that a woman should NOT upgrade her eng ring as it's sentimental.

 

[davi_el_mejor]

lol not too soon! Though depending on what's going on with this job situation, I may be moving in the next month (and all that EFFORT dammit!). But if all goes well, he may be joining us (me, my BFF, her husband) next weekend when we go snowboarding. We've been chatting/texting this week

Eeek, you will make me a PS auntie yet!

(Ryan claire promised to make me an honourary auntie but I think she wants to back out of the deal)

You can be an honorary auntie to Neena and Mia... they need a straight talking no guff-taking sense of authority, because they've used their puppy charms on me and the better half... What do ya say?

Can you smell my "desperate" from over there?

Deal.

I'm a PS auntie!

What do I do now, forget their birthdays and generally ignore them? That is what most aunties do, right?

I don't know, I only have an Uncle

 

[Dancing Fire]

Or maybe you say nothing...

I typically say nothing. Unless the OP specifically asks for my opinion.

Kama...i really want to by a diamond,should i ??

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="B.E.G
I could totally be talking out of my a$$ about a different situation though [/quote]
yes you are...you dialed the wrong #s...

 

[kama_s]

Or maybe you say nothing...

I typically say nothing. Unless the OP specifically asks for my opinion.

Kama...i really want to by a diamond,should i ??

DF, you know you can buy 10 if you sell ONE of your watches

 

[LaurenThePartier]

PSers do enable a certain personality type, and I tend to not spend my time in the more emotionally driven areas much any more. I feel as if my years as a LIW may colour my perception of the new crop, so most of the time I stay silent, except when I see posts along the lines of "why should I buy my husband-to-be an engagement gift; I'm the prize!" or something to that effect.

I tend to live in CS more than any other forum, and as Uppy has said, they are the most openly critical of purchases across the entire forum. I've been steered away from some potential purchases (and ignored advice of others) because of colour or some other aspect. I've been grateful for the advice I've received because as luck would have it, on one or two of the stones in which I ignored advice, something has happened that has proven the dissenting opinion correct (ie. my Afghan Tourmaline's inclusion fracturing during setting, etc.) Bunch of PS CS fortune tellers reside here, by the way.

 

[cellentani]

Lauren's sig line photo always blows me away , and I would just like to say, for the record, that I did not knowingly participate in any enabling behavior for any of those 24 rings!

BEG, I know exactly what you mean - we were both on a roll for awhile, weren't we? I'm enjoying making fewer purchases, but better decision over in CS.

And with Uppy, I totally agree about the straight shooting over in the CS forum - I certainly appreciate that too. There also isn't much personal info flying around over there, so when someone asks if such-and-such is a good idea, our responses are based on the quality of the product - the OPs financial situation, destructive marriage, or 14 cats just doesn't enter into the equation.

 

[Mara]

I'm a total enabler. I admit it. And I'm sure many ladies here remember my enabling escapades with fashion and *cough* handbags.

Like someone else already said, if someone posts asking about something-- unless they share specific financial or personal information then I typically think GO FOR IT, because I'd have no reason to say not to. I assume we're all adults and we all know we shouldn't be spending $$ on shit that you can't afford.

BUT there have been cases where someone said flat out 'well he really can't afford this' or 'well I'll put it on a cc but pay it off'. In that case I definitely would not be advocating to spend $$ and would say so, and have in the past.

However, the bottom line is that peeps will think and DO what they want. You can only really influence someone if their mind is open to suggestion and their decision is conflicted. But, if someone is asking about a situation and has really already made up their mind and they just want people to solidify that in their own minds, then it is like TG's avatar to try to say anything but what they want to hear. And I'm not a fan of headaches. I just move on.

I also don't emotionally enable. The whole 'I'm happy if you're happy' doesn't work for me esp when people are being obviously obtuse about something relationship related. And the LIW forum, definitely haven't set foot in there in years. I would love to find & read this hot topic, but am not wading through that BGD nonsense thread again, and am too skerred to peek into LIW to look around. Oh well. Turkey pan needs cleaning.

 

[rosetta]

Lol that pan's not gonna clean itself mara

I say what I feel 100% of the time or I say nothing at all. No platitudes from me.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Lauren's sig line photo always blows me away , and I would just like to say, for the record, that I did not knowingly participate in any enabling behavior for any of those 24 rings!

BEG, I know exactly what you mean - we were both on a roll for awhile, weren't we? I'm enjoying making fewer purchases, but better decision over in CS.

And with Uppy, I totally agree about the straight shooting over in the CS forum - I certainly appreciate that too. There also isn't much personal info flying around over there, so when someone asks if such-and-such is a good idea, our responses are based on the quality of the product - the OPs financial situation, destructive marriage, or 14 cats just doesn't enter into the equation.

Haha I know! For a year or so I swear we'd like trade off months for introducing new stones or pieces. Sadly, but thankfully too, I'm no longer in Chicago with easy access to my AWESOME local jeweler. Miss them, but probably better for me in the long run! The weather's been so cold and my hands so dry lately that I actually haven't been wearing ANY of my rings lately.

I never really ran into the putting down of the stone thing in CS - but I guess I always bought and unveiled, rather than ask for opinions (hey, I have a limited budget - I KNOW it's not the BEST STONE EVER but I loved it). I always found CSers to be pretty awesome, IMO - the big thing I miss about not having new sparklies is that I rarely go over there now.

Oh yeah, Lauren's new sig- omg. Nearly DIED when I saw that for the first time - incredible.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Honestly, with the exception of a few posters (like the one in the thread in question) I don't remember the specifics of their lives in such detail that I feel like I CAN encourage/discourage. So I don't do either. If someone bought something new, I'll compliment it. I try not to seriously enable too much, but I don't like to be the wet blanket either (like Fiery said earlier, I'd be offended if someone told ME that I shouldn't buy something because of X, Y, Z reasons).

And in the rare cases (like those threads) where I DO remember the backstory, I just won't say anything. It's not my place to babysit that adult poster, but I personally wouldn't feel right encouraging a purchase like that. So I'll take the wimp way out and not say a word.

BEG, quick question, feel free not to answer. Did PS enable you to make the decision to contact CV?

I guess I'm not grasping the concept of enabling. I'm a little dense sometimes.

HA! Yes, actually - I had IRL friends pushing me too, but considering the great responses I got from you guys, there was no way I could back out

I think that's GOOD enabling though

Do I get a referral cheque* if you guys hook up


*is it too soon to joke about it?

lol not too soon! Though depending on what's going on with this job situation, I may be moving in the next month (and all that EFFORT dammit!). But if all goes well, he may be joining us (me, my BFF, her husband) next weekend when we go snowboarding. We've been chatting/texting this week

Eeek, you will make me a PS auntie yet!

(Ryan claire promised to make me an honourary auntie but I think she wants to back out of the deal)

Steal had to update - the CV thing is NOT over yet. We just chatted tonight for over 2 hours - I really LIKE this guy. We have totally different interests, but really similar personalities.

 

[Steel]

lol not too soon! Though depending on what's going on with this job situation, I may be moving in the next month (and all that EFFORT dammit!). But if all goes well, he may be joining us (me, my BFF, her husband) next weekend when we go snowboarding. We've been chatting/texting this week

Eeek, you will make me a PS auntie yet!

(Ryan claire promised to make me an honourary auntie but I think she wants to back out of the deal)

Steal had to update - the CV thing is NOT over yet. We just chatted tonight for over 2 hours - I really LIKE this guy. We have totally different interests, but really similar personalities. [/quote]


Oh wow. BEG I am so happy you are having fun! Having different interests is perfect in a relationship as long as you share the same values and being of similar personality is a great step to finding that out. So, when are you going to ask him how he feels about paying for a 3 ct ring and show him some pictures?

I feel a little smug that you guys are hitting it off - let me know if I should go buy a hat*.

*I assume you say that over there too - buying a hat for the wedding.

ETA: Wow, I really messed up the quote boxes!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Oh wow. BEG I am so happy you are having fun! Having different interests is perfect in a relationship as long as you share the same values and being of similar personality is a great step to finding that out. So, when are you going to ask him how he feels about paying for a 3 ct ring and show him some pictures?

I feel a little smug that you guys are hitting it off - let me know if I should go buy a hat*.

*I assume you say that over there too - buying a hat for the wedding.

ETA: Wow, I really messed up the quote boxes!

Hahaha Steal, you crack me up. Ok, you HAVE to get yourself onto FB so you can be my relationship guru!

Now comes the tough part - we click, we obviously like talking to each other, have similar personalities - now I have to make sure NOT to fall into the friend trap!

 

[movie zombie]

have never participated in the LIW thread....or even read any of the posts. i get in enough trouble with my opinions w/o adding another area of participation.

enabling re purchases: i assume that the OP can afford the purchase.....unless led to believe otherwise. i have been known to mention putting the $ aside to purchase a better stone.......

enabling re other issues: my perspective is that by posting re personal matters, one has opened the door to comments that may not be perceived as supportive or providing a different perspective. conversations in real life have a life of their own and do not stay topic specific.....imo, unrealistic to expect that one will receive a mere "yes" or "no" response to a post even if that is all that is requested.

MoZo

 

[Steel]

Oh wow. BEG I am so happy you are having fun! Having different interests is perfect in a relationship as long as you share the same values and being of similar personality is a great step to finding that out. So, when are you going to ask him how he feels about paying for a 3 ct ring and show him some pictures?

I feel a little smug that you guys are hitting it off - let me know if I should go buy a hat*.

*I assume you say that over there too - buying a hat for the wedding.

ETA: Wow, I really messed up the quote boxes!

Hahaha Steal, you crack me up. Ok, you HAVE to get yourself onto FB so you can be my relationship guru!

Now comes the tough part - we click, we obviously like talking to each other, have similar personalities - now I have to make sure NOT to fall into the friend trap!

Ok, serious advice here... When the time is right:

Hoo hoo meet pee pee.

 

[chrono]

The purpose of PS is to educate in order to make the best choice for one's situation. Therefore, in effect, we are all enablers. However, without being privy to the OP's financial situation, we can only advice if a purchase is a good one or a poor choice based on its value and merits. I love it in CS because there is so little drama so it's a sheltered life there. We can be a brutally honest group when the situation warrants it, but for the most part, we are civil and will graciously ooh and aah where appropriate.

 

[Indylady]

Oh wow. BEG I am so happy you are having fun! Having different interests is perfect in a relationship as long as you share the same values and being of similar personality is a great step to finding that out. So, when are you going to ask him how he feels about paying for a 3 ct ring and show him some pictures?

I feel a little smug that you guys are hitting it off - let me know if I should go buy a hat*.

*I assume you say that over there too - buying a hat for the wedding.

ETA: Wow, I really messed up the quote boxes!

Hahaha Steal, you crack me up. Ok, you HAVE to get yourself onto FB so you can be my relationship guru!

Now comes the tough part - we click, we obviously like talking to each other, have similar personalities - now I have to make sure NOT to fall into the friend trap!

Ok, serious advice here... When the time is right:

Hoo hoo meet pee pee.

Bwahahaha!!

 

[Ella]

Please remember everyone, it is one thing to discuss a situation in general and quite another to discuss someone specifically. Please keep this conversation hypothetical.

 

[cellentani]

Please remember everyone, it is one thing to discuss a situation in general and quite another to discuss someone specifically. Please keep this conversation hypothetical.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am a talented enabler and think I would be great in sales if I didn't have my stranger danger complex. When I think something is a good deal/good quality/good product I cannot help it. I want to spread the word. I know I have enabled some mommy PS trends.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Oh wow. BEG I am so happy you are having fun! Having different interests is perfect in a relationship as long as you share the same values and being of similar personality is a great step to finding that out. So, when are you going to ask him how he feels about paying for a 3 ct ring and show him some pictures?

I feel a little smug that you guys are hitting it off - let me know if I should go buy a hat*.

*I assume you say that over there too - buying a hat for the wedding.

ETA: Wow, I really messed up the quote boxes!

Hahaha Steal, you crack me up. Ok, you HAVE to get yourself onto FB so you can be my relationship guru!

Now comes the tough part - we click, we obviously like talking to each other, have similar personalities - now I have to make sure NOT to fall into the friend trap!

Ok, serious advice here... When the time is right:

Hoo hoo meet pee pee.

LOL. Ok, gonna stop derailing this thread - will post update in the original one.

Cellentani - read your original response to Ella and cracked up.