Unexpected HUGE progress!!!!! Yay!

[Keepingthefaith21]

Dreamgirl – I know it is exciting BUT remember, quite a bit of this progress was made after you chilled out about the whole engagement/ring situation in the first place.

It’s very nice of the SA to offer to help your SO but that should be his doing unless he specifically asks for you to arrange contact between the two of them. As far as I can gather from your posts, you guys are still a little ways away from the big purchase so why not back off the situation a little bit and just let things unfold on their own?

Besides, you never know what is going to pop up in the market over the next few quarters. Tiffany may come out with an entirely new design that you’ll fall in love with.

I can tell you from experience if your SO wants to find the same SA to help him get a ring or earrings for you, he’ll find her. My SO managed to figure out the sales person I spoke to over a month ago at a jewelry store that is almost two hours away from our home and my SO wasn’t even with me the day I popped into the store! So when men are ready to get down to brass tax, they find a way.

Maybe I am alone in this thought but I really feel like less is more in this situation. Definitely keep his personal information personal. Handing info over to a Sales Associate should be at his discretion no matter how nice she is and no matter how much she has your best interests in mind.

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 5/27/2008 4:12:29 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
True! But anyhow, Im not sure because if I told him then he might get upset. But then again I could just say I emailed her to thank her for her help and she replied with this info. Im guessing he would say no though because even that would seem pushy. Like I said, engagement wont happen for a few years still! I hope she understood that lol! I do have her card that I was going to give to him. Maybe I should wait until he is in a good mood to tell him about this. haha!


Any other suggestions? Oh dear....

OK, in this case I would not ask your BF about giving his contact info. you already have your SA''s card and you could place it somewhere at home where your BF can see it - and if he wants to, he can go to the shop or contact her!
Write your SA back and tell her honestly that you don''t want to give him the feeling to be pushed (she is a very friendly person and she''ll undestand that!) but anyway, tell her your preferences about the e-ring and the band - so she''ll know it when your BF comes to the store one day.
To make sure that your BF makes an appointment with exactly this SA one day, you could tell him that she wrote you such a nice e-mail and you like her so much and if the day comes you would really like to work together with HER on your e-ring and wedding band project.

still too pushy?

 

[ringshopper2008]

dreamgirl,
from reading your update, I would think that the ball is now in your boyfriend''s court. He has the info he needs, so it''s up to him at this point as to whether he goes out and makes a purchase. That''s just my opinion of course, but as a guy I only needed minimal info related to her finger size and what styles she liked... and I took care of the rest on my own.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Oh I love you wonderful ladies (and gentlemen!) I feel much calmer now. I was freaking out a bit for a minute there thinking "uh oh, what have I done now!"

I really like keepingthefaith's idea at staying mum about it. I dont want to do the whole "Novo! Novo!" thing again because then we would take some steps backward instead of forward. I agree that he would probably go to her one day because she obviously made him comfortable (for God's sake, she got him to look at rings. I couldn't even do that haha!) He knows I love this SA, I've always had a nickname for her (haha) and I just remembered he said something about her establishing a relationship so that we will come back. Then I told him she knows I will come back ha! Also, he really liked the things that she spoke with us about. And he did make some sort of comment about how she was really knowledgeable with this stuff.

I think I should also do as Ms.Dreamy said as far as telling her I dont want to make him feel pushed. She did say if I were comfortable with doing this. So I shouldn't be obligated I guess.

Maybe I should give him her card as I originally was going to. Ill just say, oh! I forgot to give you this. She wrote about the earrings on there, and on the bottom of the card she wrote my ring size and she wrote 'Novo' before we looked at the other rings. I wonder if I should draw a line over Novo lol (only because I don't want him to think again this is what I must have)

Ringhopper- thanks for the advice! This is great info coming from a guy. After all, as I said, we looked at the rings he wanted to look at, not me. He's a smart boy, he can figure it out!

I wonder if I should say that I would love to continue keeping in touch with her? (this way she remembers things) So when I go in the store we can have little chats or something lol Then if he ever does go to buy something, she will always have me fresh in mind. She sees me in there anyway when I go and we always say hi or she always lets me see stuff I want to look at and we talk. But its a little different now. More personal I guess.

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 5/27/2008 4:57:31 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Maybe I should give him her card as I originally was going to. Ill just say, oh! I forgot to give you this. She wrote about the earrings on there, and on the bottom of the card she wrote my ring size and she wrote ''Novo'' before we looked at the other rings. I wonder if I should draw a line over Novo lol (only because I don''t want him to think again this is what I must have)

Maybe you could make sure to have a pen lying around when you give him the card and say - "oh wait, there is still "novo" written on it" then draw a line over it and write "tiffany setting"... and maybe even ..."novo/knife-edge band" below.
I think that would be appropriate - not to pushy if you do it with a little bit of humor

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 5/27/2008 5:11:04 PM
Author: Ms.Dreamy
Maybe you could make sure to have a pen lying around when you give him the card and say - 'oh wait, there is still 'novo' written on it' then draw a line over it and write 'tiffany setting'... and maybe even ...'novo/knife-edge band' below.

I think that would be appropriate - not to pushy if you do it with a little bit of humor

Ahhh, that could work! haha!

Like, OOPS she wrote this before you pointed out the other settings!

OOOOOh, I wonder if I could write on the back about a thinner knife edge band lol I also wonder if I should write about the other setting since he said he liked that. But after asking the SA, I wanted to know if she caught any vibes from him and she said Tiffany Setting. Hmmm. (Plus I asked him yesterday "So you didn't like the Novo huh?" and he said "No, I like the other ones") lol

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Hey Dreamgirl - Have you ever thought about making a ring book? I know a couple of ladies on this board have. I sort of compiled rings that I have liked over the years and it's really fun for me to go back through and see how my taste has changed and where it has stayed the same.

Since you have already changed your opinion of the Novo, maybe you could start making your own little book and keep track of what you like, what you do not like ect. and keep the SA's card in the front. When you feel like the time is coming and it's appropriate, you can hand over your creation and your SO can even have it to take with him to the store.

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 5/27/2008 5:13:00 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

Date: 5/27/2008 5:11:04 PM

Author: Ms.Dreamy

Maybe you could make sure to have a pen lying around when you give him the card and say - ''oh wait, there is still ''novo'' written on it'' then draw a line over it and write ''tiffany setting''... and maybe even ...''novo/knife-edge band'' below.


I think that would be appropriate - not to pushy if you do it with a little bit of humor

Ahhh, that could work! haha!

OOOOOh, I wonder if I could write on the back about a thinner knife edge band lol I also wonder if I should write about the other setting since he said he liked that. But after asking the SA, I wanted to know if she caught any vibes from him and she said Tiffany Setting. Hmmm

Ok here we go: I would write:
"tiffany setting solitaire
band: thin knive edge & novo eternity"

or something like this

I like the baguette setting too but I only like it for really big center stones (2 ct. and over or if the baguettes are very very tiny) for smaller center stones I prefer the tiffany setting. and in your case especially because you could stack it with the novo and knife edge band.
but anyway, if he really wants the baguette setting he''ll remember that anyway - so no need to write that down.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I didn''t give ff her card last night because we ended up watching a movie and I figured it was a bad time to give that to him. Maybe I will do that tonight. I know I will definitely give him her card as I was going to anyway.

I also didn''t email the SA yet. I didn''t have much time and I was thinking a lot about it last night as to what exactly to say to her and if I should mention any of it to ff. I think its probably better I think about it rather than quickly answer her back.

Ms.Dreamy- I looked in my catalog last night and they only give the price for the eternity band

Im sorry. I could swear that I saw somewhere about both bands and their prices. This is going to bug me now lol

 

[Ms.Dreamy]

Date: 5/28/2008 12:17:52 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
I didn''t give ff her card last night because we ended up watching a movie and I figured it was a bad time to give that to him. Maybe I will do that tonight. I know I will definitely give him her card as I was going to anyway.


I also didn''t email the SA yet. I didn''t have much time and I was thinking a lot about it last night as to what exactly to say to her and if I should mention any of it to ff. I think its probably better I think about it rather than quickly answer her back.


Ms.Dreamy- I looked in my catalog last night and they only give the price for the eternity band

Im sorry. I could swear that I saw somewhere about both bands and their prices. This is going to bug me now lol

Well, take the time you need. You don''t HAVE to give him the card if your not 100% sure if it''s a good idea - as others already mentioned - he''ll find her anyway and as the Tiffany setting is his favourite one - he won''t forget about that either. And you don''t have to care about the wedding ring now - he won''t buy it at the same time as the e-ring and I am sure that he''ll involve you in the wedding band choice.
And as you mentioned, you''ll get engaged in the next years - hey there''s enough time to take him with you on your next tiffany-trip - maybe to buy another vase or something non-e-ring-related.

thanks for checking your catalogs for me for the novo band - i''ll go to Tiffany''s tomorrow anyway to get my lovely knife edge band, so I''ll try on the novo band, ask about the half-novo, try on the metro,..... ohhh that will be so much fun!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Oh, I think it''s fine to give him the card. I think he wouldn''t mind that at all.

Plus I think he knows she gave it to me because she wrote my ring size on there while he was with me in the store.

Also, your welcome and you will have to let me know what you went with!

 

[wishful]

Yeah definitely don''t give the SA his info. Remember, Men like to be the heroes. If you do all the leg work for them then they don''t have any part in it except for handing over the CC.
You did the most important part, giving him the info of what styles you like the best. He knows which SA it is so I''d say the rest is up to him. Don''t take the wind out of his sails.

(you can always innocently mention to him how nice and helpful the SA was and that if and when the time comes, you hope she ends up getting credit for the sale)

 

[HollyS]

Sounds like he was making some mental notes! Looky-looing is much more fun when the guy is actually paying attention!

Glad you had fun.

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/27/2008 4:16:45 PM
Author: gwendolyn
DEFINITELY do not give her his contact info without his ok. That would totally blow up in your face, as you said.


I would be totally honest with the SA, and write back and tell her that you have been windowshopping and doing your research but that you don''t plan to buy in the imminent future. Let her know that you value her help greatly and that, when the time comes, she will be the one to help you guys out, but for the time being, you are still in the looking stages.


Then, when the time is right, you can mention to your boyfriend that you have that SA''s contact info and anytime he would like it, you''d be happy to give it to him, as you know that she will make the process much easier because she knows your tastes so well.


That''s how I''d handle it, anyway.

totally agree with Gwen on this one. I think that your bf was definitely taking notes and he went into Tiffanys on his own initiative so I wouldn''t send his info to the SA. Let him take it at his own pace and do his thing.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks for your help everyone! I still haven't given the card to my boyfriend yet because Im waiting for the right time to give it to him. (plus it makes me look "not obsessed" if I give it a little time) Perhaps this evening, or this weekend when I have his full attention. I probably should have given it to him right when we walked out of the store when he was talking about it. (silly me)

I did, however, email the SA again and told her I may speak with him about giving her contact info but that I just don't want to come across to him as being pushy because this is the first time he has ever shown any interest in rings. I also asked her what she would do with the info if she had it, keep info on what we looked at somewhere for future reference? She replied and said:
"All the information that I gather when speaking with clients is kept in my personal client book, here at our store.
So not to worry about information being misplaced or lost. I look forward to further communications."
(she knows we are not ready to purchase anytime soon as I told her so already)

Im trying to understand if she means just that she keeps the contact info, or info on what rings we looked at and liked, etc... Because if she keeps info on what we looked at, I could tell him I emailed her to thank her and she said she could keep info for reference one day if we were interested, maybe he could email her if he wanted to. Then again, he probably wouldn't. But if I told him this, it would be for him to deal with and take care of. I don't know. What do you think?

 

[Bliss]

Well, you know best! Because I''m very talky talky talky with FI and I would totally be giving him that card!

I''d be like, "So give her my best when you call!" LOL. Different couples have different relationships.

That having been said... since you made such amazing progress and FI was so interested in the rings & diamonds, I do agree that you shouldn''t rock the boat too much. I guess the laid back approach seems to work! So keep being breezy and letting him have the space to do his thing! He certainly does seem willing on his own!

VERY EXCITING FOR YOU!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks Bliss! I am always usually talky talky too. This is why Im trying to play it cool, lay low. Because I have been behaving myself so much lately as far as discussing (rings) and I even think that him looking at rings was a result of my shutting up about the whole topic in the past months. Seems to be working for me. lol I plan on being VERY breezy.