What have you obsessed about?

[zoebartlett]

I began reading Gypsy's thread about not caring about particular things (I'll answer that one in a minute) but then I thought about all the things I've found to obsess over. What do you or have you obsessed about?

I've been wondering about a lot of things lately but in terms of OBSESSION, let's see...

1. How the guests will find the hotel and the venue. A lot of our guests would be considered local (an hour-90 minutes away) but I have family and a few friends coming in from far away. I had wanted to include directions from the airport to the hotel and venue. My mom said that everyone in the world knows how to use Mapquest and they'll find their way. I know that but still. I wanted to make it easier for them. Oh well. I mean, we do have directions on an insert but they begin closer to the venue.

2. My nervous feelings about everything. Not marrying my FI but everything else.

I'm sure there are others. What about you? Come on, I know you're out there.

 

[IWantAMilkshake]

1. Bathrooms. Apparently I''m the only person who cares about my guests going in construction port-a-potties. My future in laws think I''m nuts for having rented a marble and wood paneled, fully functional restroom trailer!

2. Accomodations. I hated to make everyone stay in awful little chain motels in the area, so I had to reserve all the charming bed and breakfast/country inns in the area. Which makes the next obsession difficult...

3. Transportation. I won''t make my guests drink and drive, so arranging transportation to a golf outing AND a vineyard tour AND our welcome reception AND reherasal dinner AND the ceremony and wedding is a bit...err...cumbersome given all the little inns!

4. Invitations. I couldn''t anything perfect, so I ended up designing all the pieces myself and having them letterpressed by a printer.

5. All the details over which I am not in charge -- I tend to obsess more on details that have been outsourced to other people than those I have full control over.

 

[Gypsy]

1. THE DRESS
2. Centerpeices
3. Invites
4. My boss' attendance (I wish I could explain but I can't)
5. Whether the amount of food we are serving is going to look cheap.
6. When the other shoe is going to drop.
7. Why I don't seem to care about my weight. Yes, that's right. I'm NOT obsessing about my weight. I'm obsessing about why I'm NOT obsessing about my weight.

 

[basil]

Everything! See my response to "what don''t you care about"

It seems like once I make a decision on something, I find a new thing to obsess about. I think it''s actually less that I really honestly care, and more that it''s an escape from doing what I''m supposed to be doing (work, cleaning the house, etc.). I''m kind of a researcher by nature, so it fits right into my personality.

Lately, I''ve been obsessing about chairs (white garden versus ballroom), linens, and reception decor. I''ve also been obsessed with working out and my eating habits.

 

[misysu2]

1. whether people will return their RSVP cards
2. items being bought on the registry...can''t explain it, but I have to check our registries every day!
3. Finding the perfect, as yet non-existant, wedding band
4. worried that my wedding dress won''t arrive on time

 

[teetee]

So far, just the photographer...I spent all of January looking at photog blogs.

For those of you who haven''t done this yet, start asap because I contacted about 12 and only 4 were available for my date (Aug 2).

 

[justwondering]

I''ll play!

-I''m obsessed with the invitations (I''m a graphic designer, so I''ve made them myself), and whether the stamps match the ink color I''ve chosen

-Whether my ceremony will be too secular for my catholic in-laws-to-be.

-Finding my sister/MOH a date so she doesn''t sulk through the whole reception...

 

[IWantAMilkshake]

I forgot to add: shoes. Grass has made me have to obsess about shoes. I''m still hoping to find the perfect adorable wedge, but in the meantime, am thinking rainbow flipflops.

 

[Neveah]

Yeah! My turn!

1. Flowers. I have always wanted an all peony bouquet. We have to have them shipped from New Zealand, but I''m getting em!

2. Gifts for the bridal party. I have gone back... and forth... and back again. Is this cheesy? Will they use it? Are we spending enough?

3. Placecards (Yep, dumb thing but I can''t make up my freaking mind)

 

[SarahLovesJS]

1. Budget!!!!!

2. Ceremony venue...church or no church..etc.

2. Reception venue...I want chandeliers, sometimes a place on the water other times.

 

[nclrgirl]

1. $$$$$$$$
2. My FSIL (FI''s brother''s FI) thinking that our weddings will be identical. They won''t.

 

[gtn]

I''m worried most about the budget which means I''m worried about everything and to make things worse, the stress is causing me to gain weight.... it''s either the stress or all the sweets... I like to think the stress is driving me to eat

As an aside: TeeTee, where are you? Maybe we can help with your photographer

 

[Gwyn]

I felt guily about all the things i didnt care about so i decided to come here and say things i cared about

#1 My dress/hair/makeup/everything and the cost of it all.

#2 Our photos/photographer, i want to have something to remember all that obsessing about the above.

#3 our room layout. Wither or not to do 5 tables of 10 or 6 of 8. To be honest the room looks better with the 6 of 8 but then that is 2 less people

#4 If people we are inviting are actually all coming. If not, there are others we could invite in their absense. However Im worried if i invite too many people assuming that some are no shows that i am going to be screwed and get too many. I think i will have to do two rounds of invites...

#5 If people enjoy themselves. I know i have said alot of things i just care about me or FI and me liking but i still want people to enjoy themselves. is that possible without catering to their every whim/desire?

#6 That i dont forget anything! I keep having these horrible nightmares that my wedding is the next day and i didnt sesnd invites out yet or book a place or i dont have my dress...

#7 the cost of my wedding ring. to get it to match my band and have it made by the same person is about 3k. three thousand dollars for a wedding band....good grief!

#8 The food. We have lots of vegetarians coming but FI and I are not one of them. All the stuff we want as apps and stuff dont leave alot of leighway for the non meat eaters. We decided on half meat half non meat. figuring even the meat eaters like non meat stuff too.

#9 I guess this is food again. we really wanted to offer halibut as the fish or chilean sea bass but we are not sure how good it will taste if the guest doesnt sit down to eat it til later. will it still be good cold? I have a serious aversion to the smell of salmon. I absolutely hate it so , even though it will taste great even if it is a lil cold, i just cant see offering that as an entree. Maybe we will go with the more usual chicken dish instead. We already know we are ordering the filet mignon wrapped in bacon for one choice and there is a vegetarian option (no idea what prolly a pasta) it is just the last we are stuck on. I guess we will use the tasting to determine it.

#10 the use of our monogram. FI is taking my last name and we are both happy with that, however we do not want to spend the wedding explaining this to people and such. SO we decided not to have them introduce the new Mr and Mrs so and so. and to kind of avoid the whole thing. that way we are not dealing with questions about it all night, especially from the older crowd.

#11 To have or have not a videographer. I dont know about this one in alot of cases it is alot of money and the reviews seem to be mixed but most who went without want one. is that just a case of the grass is greener or is there real merit in having one...i just dont know.

#12 the event we are having on the east coast, do i make it a brunch or a cocktail hour, can i afford a sec ond round of a DJ and open bar? Will it be weird if its not open bar like my mother wants to do. will people that go to that one that see pics of the others feel shafted they didnt go to the other and think i like my family less then his b/c the one on his side was more extravagent. lol I think im nutso sometimes....

#13 our venue has one private bathroom for our party. is that enough? i am sure there are others they can walk to but outside our reception there is just one.

#14 OMG speaking of bathrooms, am i going to need someones help going? I get pee shy....

#15 a part of me is obsessing about my weight. I have been under or around 100 pounds since ...well for as long as I can remember. Then I moved out here and got a job that was supser stressful and made me miserable (I have since quit). I am not sure if it was the job or what but I have gained 20 lbs!!! It doesnt seem like alot i mean 5foot 1 and 120 but it feels like alot. Most of it went to my hips and butt. I had to throw out all my jeans lol. My dress hides it so i am less obsessive about my dress but I am obsessive about it non stop in general so i guess it is one of the things i care about. On the plus side i do have a gym right neaby that i spend a few hours a week at. I will lose those pounds!!!!! Is it me or is it harder to lose them as you get older....

#16 Our registry. I have no idea what to register for. We moved about 2 years ago and bought all new stuff. People keep saying this is the time to get really nice stuff you wont buy on your own but FI and I are spenders LOL. we bought stuff we loved! so we dont need plates, pans, silverware, glassware, barware, towels, sheets or anything. And we still live in an Apartment so i dont really want to get a bunch of stuff we need to store like china or something that we just dont have the room for. the only things i can think of are new knives, we didnt get them last time, and maybe an extra sheet set (we have 4). On the other side though my family is not one to give money they will just go out and buy stuff whether we need/want them to or not. I would really like to put no gifts necessary or something like in leiu of it just donate somewhere but FI has bought so many gifts over the years that he wants presents lol. I guess i can start moving this into the not caring anymore list because i told him the other day that if he wants a registry hes gotta make one

#17 my actual ceremony. It is totally non religios and i have no idea how to make it longer then 5 mins. I dont want a song or a reading or anything. and i cant find ceremonies that wont seem odd coming from us...

#18 i am not sure that i am obsessing on this but I am praying it doesnt rain! I know some think it is good luck and all but the whole reason we chose our location was their beautiful outdoor ceremony area. Not being able to use that would be devestating. i try not to obsess too much because there is no way i can do anything about it if it does but still, i occasionally think about it and freak out a lil.

Okay there i care about things too...wow...alot. sheesh i think maybe i should go back to caring too little.

 

[Courtneylub]

Wow, Gwyn!

Ok, my obsessions:

#1 My Honeymoon!! That''s supposed to be the least stressful thing, but as you know from my other threads....
so please give suggestions or respond to my concerns. I am SO indecisive, so I need a little push sometimes. On the other hand, once I get the decision in my head, I''m a stickler.

#2 My jewelry. I really want a simple choker type necklace with a back dangle (back jewelry). I don''t plan on wearing a veil and I really like this look.



#3 Centerpieces. I''m very particular about what I want and people seem to have lots of opinions on this subject. I''ve researched severel PS threads on centerpieces and I know I will be starting one soon.

Those are my true obsessions...everything else is definitely a concern, but I''m not constantly looking online for anything else besides honeymoon resorts, jewelry, and centerpieces ideas!!

 

[Pandora II]

I''ve been pretty obsessive over design elements - stds, website, favours, monogram etc all of which I have done myself.

My current obsessions are over the rows I''m going to be having shortly with my co-ordinator and the registrar. God, I''m such a wimp!

Oh, and trying to make my mind up on fabric for my dress.

I''ve also got a problem on the weight size - the new drug I was put on in July has a side-effect of making you lose weight. I''ve lost 25 pounds since November and I''m still going down - I''m 5 10" and 135 pounds so any weight loss shows quite drastically now. My dress-maker is going to kill me if I lose anymore, as is my doctor. So I''m stuffing the mars ice-cream bars like crazy.

I know that probably sounds great to people trying to lose weight - but I look seriously ill if I get too thin, to say nothing of the diminishing cleavage that I need for this dress!

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 2/14/2008 8:50:18 AM
Author: Pandora II
I''ve been pretty obsessive over design elements - stds, website, favours, monogram etc all of which I have done myself.

My current obsessions are over the rows I''m going to be having shortly with my co-ordinator and the registrar. God, I''m such a wimp!

Oh, and trying to make my mind up on fabric for my dress.

I''ve also got a problem on the weight size - the new drug I was put on in July has a side-effect of making you lose weight. I''ve lost 25 pounds since November and I''m still going down - I''m 5 10'' and 135 pounds so any weight loss shows quite drastically now. My dress-maker is going to kill me if I lose anymore, as is my doctor. So I''m stuffing the mars ice-cream bars like crazy.

I know that probably sounds great to people trying to lose weight - but I look seriously ill if I get too thin, to say nothing of the diminishing cleavage that I need for this dress!

Ummm, and what drug is this??? You can''t keep that a secret. I''d like to lose about 10 lbs because I feel great at that weight. I''m having the hardest time losing just a few lbs. That''s one obsession I forgot to put down.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 2/14/2008 9:01:10 AM
Author: Courtneylub

Ummm, and what drug is this??? You can''t keep that a secret. I''d like to lose about 10 lbs because I feel great at that weight. I''m having the hardest time losing just a few lbs. That''s one obsession I forgot to put down.

Lol, I take Lamotrigine - it''s an anti-epileptic that I take for my bipolar disorder. They are also trialling it for nerve pain and reducing migraine. I was lucky, only 20% of people who take it for pain/migraine get any result. I have hit the jackpot as I have terrible nerve-pain in my legs and bad migraines. Both my neuro-surgeon and psych. can''t believe the results as I have tried most things going!

Sorry, it''s not the sort of thing you can buy OTC - also it can have rare but potentially fatal side-effects.

The easiest way I ever found to lose weight (in the days when I was actually trying to) was cutting portion sizes and eating more slowly. Also not having any bread/biscuits/crisps/candy in the house - if it''s not there you can''t eat it!

 

[sumbride]

I read somewhere to pick a few things that really matter to you and focus on those, so mine were:

1) my cake - I was OBSESSED with my cake. I wanted it perfect. In the end, it wasn''t exactly how I envisioned it, but it was close enough. And nobody knew that it wasn''t "perfect".

2) flowers - I wanted LOTS OF THEM. And I got them. everywhere!

3) music - For DH this was his only obsession, but I''ll put it at #3 because it was important to me too. We worked on our music lists even before we were engaged!

4) the ceremony - I wrote it myself with help from a book. It was "us" and it was non-religious but still spiritual. We even vowed to serve humanity!

5) the food, and an open bar! We were SET on needing an open bar. In the end, we should have closed it earlier. After 5 hours of an open bar we had quite a few people that got sick, including our 15 year old nephew. Oops! The food was great though... little lampchops and shrimp and roast beef... it was all great. And plentiful. And people are still telling my mom it was the best buffet they''ve seen at a wedding. One of DH''s family friends whispered to me "I had FOUR lamp chops and they were AMAZING!" I said "good! Go have more!"

That''s about it. Sure, I was into my dress and hair and such, but didn''t really have the energy to get obsessed with it. I wanted fancier invitations but couldn''t fit them into the budget so I let it go. And none of that really mattered in the end... but people are still talking about how much fun they had, how good the food was, etc... all the things that mattered to me!

 

[sleeping beauty]

im obsessing the HONEYMOON!!!!! i want everything to be perfect and fun and not get bored about not having TV''s in the room. we always fall asleep watching tv so im a little obsessed about that.

also obssesing on the ceremony site. with 6 months to go i still dont know if we will be able to get married in the church so i still have to come up with a plan B that i dont care for.

 

[bee*]

I''m a huge planner so I have kind of obsessed over everything, although thankfully it seems to be one thing after another and not all at the same time. Photographers is what I''m on now and after looking at over 80 photographers, I''ve finally found one that I like, he returns my emails, his work is beautiful and he''s in budget. I''m meeting him next week so if all goes well, next obsession will be the church.

 

[mjso]

Things I am obsessed with in no particular order:

1) The bridal party - do I seriously not have ANY female friends? If it is so important to FI for the sides to match and for there to be "eligible" single BMs ("because that''s the only reason guys go to weddings" - according to FI) then maybe he can go hire some hookers to be in our wedding, because I don''t know who I''m going to ask...

Oh and the issue of Flower Girl/Ring Bearer - again FI is insistant that we need them because "they are in traditional weddings". Well I''m sorry none of our friends have kids yet and you are the one who wanted to move fifty bajillion miles away from any family either of us have, so I''m not about to ask my random cousin I see once every 2 years (maybe) if I can borrow her kids for the day... Plus I''m not a big fan of kids, so in my opinion the less children the better (I''m sure this will change when I decide to have my own kids, but for now, I don''t relate to children at all)

2) What EVERYONE ELSE thinks. This is kind of an obsession of mine throughout all aspects of my life - and it sucks. But I''m constantly thinking about what FI, FMIL, FFIL, my mom, my dad, etc REALLY think. Because face it, they are going to be polite and nice no matter what, so now I''m playing the "try to figure out what everyone else wants and then decide if that''s what I want and/or how I can fit it in"

3) Is anyone actually going to come/Are we going to have too many people? Since about 85-95% of our potential invitees are from out of town I go back and forth on the issue of "No one is going to come, so we might as well invite everyone, since they are going to say no anyway, so who cares", "Are we going to meet the quota of people we need to have to spend the amount we are required to spend or are we going to be inviting my brother''s friends from the area last minute so we at least get our money''s worth" and the issue of "We can''t invite all of these people, if they all come it will cost a fortune - we MUST pare down the invite list".

I think that''s it for now. Sometimes I almost wish we didn''t decide to take over a full year for planning, it is just making me stress out about stuff I''ll never know the answer to for about another year!

 

[anchor31]

When I obsess about something, I obsess big time... Fortunately it''s only temporary! I''ve definitely obsessed over:
- My e-ring. Obviously, that was pre-engagement, but I was really obsessed.
- My wedding ring. One of the three things that matter to me about this wedding thing.
- My dress. The third thing that matters to me about this wedding thing... the first one being the husband!

- The budget, or finding vendors that we at least like that would fit our budget. With a budget as tight and a family as huge as ours, it wasn''t easy.

Right now, I''m kind of obsessing about:
- The registry...

- How we''re going to hem my dress. It''s probably around 5"-6" too long even though it''s the petite length, and we''re probably not going to be able to keep the coloured cuff without losing the beading pattern on the skirt.

 

[musey]

1. The officiant! We just couldn't find someone who felt right. We recently decided to ask my cousin's (my maid of honor) husband. He works PR for a university, so we know he'll be a great speaker, and he's funny, and the rest of his family is already involved int he wedding in some capacity. Win-win... win.

2. My wedding band--does this count? I think I've finally decided on one, but there have just been SO many contenders.

3. HIS wedding band

Which is really none of my business... I think I'm just so excited to see what he'll choose!!

4. The registry, unfortunately. First I didn't want one because I thought it was presumptuous. Then I made one and FMIL announced that we HAD to send registry cards with the invitations

Then I was informed that the places we chose (W-S, C&B, PB) were "intimidating," and I had to choose a lower-end one to supplement them. Ugh. I'm so over gifts.

5. The seating chart, which I shouldn't even be thinking about yet. I unfortunately let myself get carried away with theoretical arrangements. There doesn't seem to be a good way to fit everyone from specific groups, there are always 1 or 2 leftovers, so then do I split the WHOLE group in half? Then who else do I fill out the table with? Yeeeesh!

 

[lucy.lucy.80]

I am obcessing over all the small stupid stuff

1) venue space....venue holds 120 and were inviting 120 so I am obcessing if the rooms gonna be to small
2) RSVP....RSVP''ing on time and making sure there''s no add ons.
3) Whether my uncle is going to bring his 3 month old baby (dont want to listen to crying during the ceremony)
4) BUDGET!!

 

[tberube]

I still have plenty of time to come up with new things to obsess about before September 6th, but here's what I'm currently hung up on:

1. the open bar vs. cash bar thing. I'm paying for the entire wedding myself (since FI put the down payment on the house) and having an open bar for even an hour might cut out other very important things, like say, the DJ or the flowers. My wedding is already sooooo pared down and simple, I have nothing left to compromise (no limos, no expensive decorations, etc.). I'm not even sure if most people will care or notice, but I hear all around me that a cash bar is "tacky and cheap" so I totally am obsessing over it.

2. the centerpieces. Although my worries are technically put away now, I spent 8 months worrying over what kind of centerpiece to have - whether to make them myself, to have flowers or not, high or low, am I obligated to get creative because I'm artsy, will cranberries be harvested in September? Thankfully I just decided to pay my florist to deal with them and I feel better about it now. But man, was I nervous about it.

3. the number of guests. My venue package makes me guarantee (pay for) 100 guests, and I'm obsessing about not going over that number. Reasons being not wanting to pay the "overage" costs, and that I just want the smallest wedding possible while still having those close to me there (I want to be able to enjoy everyone's presence, without spreading myself too thin).

4. the dress. Will it fit? I have gained weight since ordering my dress and with the moving (just bought house) I have been eating like crap and not making it any better. Not to mention even when I ordered the dress (supposedly) in my size then I still wasn't sure it would fit. So now I have to lose double the weight, before my fittings. And the dress comes in next month.

Thanks for letting me share!

 

[staceybelle]

1. Photography. Call it cliche, but after the wedding day it''s all you have left. I plan on buying a second album and putting it in a safe deposit box. ''Cause I''m like that. I wish I had the money to buy a bigger photography package, but we spent a little bit more than we expected to anyway. Here''s to hoping I come across an extra $500 in the next four months.

2. Flowers. I knew before I was even engaged what I wanted, down to the wraps on the bouquets. I really, really want them to be perfect. What I want isn''t that complicated, so they have no excuse for getting it wrong!

3. Ceremony music. I am so, so, so excited about my string quartet and walking into the sanctuary to Canon in D.

4. My dress. It''ll be custom-made, and I can''t wait to have input on every little detail. My fittings start next month!

 

[mimzy]

1. i REALLY obsessed about the reception venue before we booked ours. it was so difficult finding a place that was within budget and that wasn''t horribly ugly (to me). i spent countless hours online researching and calling places and going over different budget scenarios. it was incredibly discouraging and it seemed inevitable that i was going to have to choose a venue i didn''t like in order to please other people. i was sooo happy when i got a thumbs up on a place i liked from all involved parties AND when we figured that it would be within budget

2. budget. we''ve had about 8 revisions, but most of the kinks have been worked out

3. guest list. FI and I have divied up the parental invites how we thought was most fair: a combination of contribution AND how well we knew the people they were going to be inviting. my mom didn''t like this (she hates the idea that my dad gets to invite more than her) and neither did FI''s parents (although they are passive about it). it''s complicated by the fact that we have NO IDEA if FI''s extended family, which is about 40+ people, is going to attend.....which makes it hard to budget. we are trying really hard to keep it at 200 people, and it''s just hard.

 

[zoebartlett]

We got the seating chart from our venue and I KNOW I''ll be obsessed with trying to figure out where everyone will sit. The restaurant has a bigger main dining room and then another room off of that. I''m not sure who to place in this other room and I know I''ll be obsessed with trying to figure that out.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

1. $$$$$$$$ trying very hard to do the whole thing for less than $5,000.

2. music. like someone else posted, i have had my song list mapped out long before i was engaged.

3. whether to have the wedding this summer or next. we can still pull it off for this summer, but we''d still have to charge some stuff - part of us would rather just pay it all up front. BUT, part of us wants to just have it now while our older relatives are healthy and able to enjoy it...i obsess over something happening to an older relative if we wait til 09....i hate thinking that way.

 

[teetee]

Date: 2/14/2008 1:53:56 AM
Author: gtn
I''m worried most about the budget which means I''m worried about everything and to make things worse, the stress is causing me to gain weight.... it''s either the stress or all the sweets... I like to think the stress is driving me to eat

As an aside: TeeTee, where are you? Maybe we can help with your photographer

Hi gtn, thanks for the offer to help but I booked a photog last week. He is a little over my budget but after FI heard that someone else was spending 7k on theirs, he agreed to the $4500 I wanted to spend