what would you all say if i told you...

[radiantquest]

i am getting married tomorrow. he decided that he wants to do it and he wants to do it now. i took the advice although it wasnt that long ago and left him alone about getting married. he asked me the other day (tuesday) and we went and got a license on wednesday. now i know what you are all thinking. but he has done a 180! he told me that he thought about me as his wife and he liked it so he wants to marry me. he was soooo excited just getting the license. we were running up flights of stairs and acting kinda silly trying to find the right office in a huge building. turns out we were in the wrong one and had to walk a block just to get in the right building. all the while with a smile on his face. i dont have my ring yet because of such a short time, but we are picking up throw away rings for the ceremony until we can get the real ones. he said that he cannot wait to have the ring on his finger and he serious!!!! i know that most of you remember the "he doesnt want to get married" post and i was really taking the things you all said to heart and believed that maybe i should let him go, but now...we are both excited and i can barely contain myself. maybe his friends told him he was crazy for not marrying me, or his family, i dont know. i called my mother and told her and she is happy for us. im hoping that you guys will be happy too. please post whatever you are thinking. be honest. thanks.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Congratulations! I wish you and soon-to-be-Mr. Radiantquest the very best!

 

[JulieN]

Congratulations!

 

[Sha]

Is this what you want? Do you want it ''this way'' or do you want an actual wedding? I guess you don''t have much time to think about that... just wondering whether the excitement of ''getting married'' might possibly overshadow any dreams you had of doing it a particular way?

Best wishes whatever you decide!

 

[BlueSki231]

Congratulations!!

So happy for you.. and happy to hear that he is genuinely excited.

Wish you the best.

 

[radiantquest]

thank you so much for the congrats

sha- i never wanted a big wedding with the dress and all the people. i am very happy this way.

 

[TheNextMrsB]

I would say that that is totally awesome! Congratulations and Best Wishes!!!

 

[trillionaire]

yay for you! I hope FF is the same way. Weddings are a drag anyway IMHO... (just my preference

)

 

[diamondfan]

Hey, congrats. Way less stressful this way, have a party afterward!!!!

 

[Sha]

Date: 9/11/2008 11:27:16 PM
Author: radiantquest
thank you so much for the congrats

sha- i never wanted a big wedding with the dress and all the people. i am very happy this way.

Well, then CONGRATULATIONS!!! Enjoy the day tomorrow!

 

[FrekeChild]

Does this mean you''re off the list at #100?

Congratulations!!!! If you''re happy, I know I''m happy!!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Congrats and best wishes to you both!!!!

 

[vita*dolce]

yay!! congratulations!! i''m SOOO happy to hear that you and your FI (!!!!) worked out this issue and that you''re both so happy and ready to make this huge commitment to each other!!

in two days, you''re going to be a MRS!!!

 

[kittybean]

Gosh, I don''t want to be the only questioning voice here. I guess my first reaction to your post was surprise because of the thread you posted about your intended not wanting to be married. I am just a little wary of the sudden and total change of heart on his part, just gauging from the way you described him in your previous post. I also take from your request for honesty that you feel a twinge of hesitation here (although I could be wrong).

My questions are as follows: are you sure that a wedding so soon is right for you? Are you positive you are both entering into this lifelong commitment with the proper frame of mind? Getting married is exciting and wonderful, but it is also a solemn time in the lives of the bride and groom, who are making the most serious and important promise of their lives. Are you sure that you are both seeing past the momentary excitement to a life together, with all the joys and sorrows it will bring? Have you talked about the important issues that will come up during your marriage? There is a great list posted in this recent thread, which includes issues concerning finances, children, religion, sex, health, family life, home life, friendships, and work. These are issues that are incredibly important to talk about with your intended in the context of your future marriage. I mention that because, in your previous thread, you had said that your significant other was opposed to marriage; this made me question whether you had had the opportunity to have a frank, open discussion about issues related to your marriage.

I hope that my post hasn''t offended you in any way. I realize that I don''t know you, and that I don''t know what your relationship has been like, and therefore, I''m not trying to judge. I just hope that you and your intended are entering into your marriage with your eyes open. You know in your heart what is best. I just want to point out that sometimes it''s beneficial to inject a little reason into those emotions. In my opinion, it is by questioning our own thoughts and actions that we learn, grow, and make the best decisions. By the way, no need to respond to any of these questions or thoughts. I know all of this is private, and it should stay between you and your intended. Your relationship can only really be examined by you.

All that said, I wish you every happiness in your marriage. If you are happy and ready to make the commitment, I am very happy for you.

 

[bee*]

I was thinking the same as kittybean but so long as you''re happy, then that''s all that counts! Congratulations! Just make sure that this is 100% what you want to do now!

 

[Hera]

Congratulations

 

[Dannielle]

I would say congratulations- I hope tomorrow is everything that you want and more

I wish you and your FI the very best for your future together.

 

[ams0124]

Congratulations.
May your marriage be happy and healthy one for the rest of your lives together.

 

[jcarlylew]

i have to agree with kittybean on being a voice of question,

I just want to make sure this is what YOU want, and this 180 he has done is genuine. I don''t want to have to break out the baseball bat

but... CONGRATS! and i do wish you a long, happy, loving, healthy union!

 

[sunnyd]

I agree with kittybean, but if this is what you guys want, then I''m happy!!

So whattaya say RQ, are you off the list?!

 

[princesss]

So maybe it was the wedding he was worried about/didn''t want and not the marriage?

As long as you''re sure you''re on the same page about all of this, it looks like the start of something wonderful! Congratulations!

 

[radiantquest]

thank you all! we are both very happy.

kittybean and all who agree- i respect that you feel this way and i knew that there would be some replies like yours. i am glad that you were honest and that is why i asked. and to answer some of your questions. we have already discussed the major issues that goes into marriage. ie children, religion, finances etc. i appreciate your concern and it makes me happy that you care enough to bring these things up. i know that you have your reservations about its suddeness and all, but trust me, before we said "i do" i made sure this is what he wanted. he said yes with a smile on his face and tear in his eye and that is what tells me that we made the right decision. i feel that you are all in a way my friends and vaue all your opinions even if they differ from mine. thank you

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 9/12/2008 12:28:29 PM
Author: radiantquest
thank you all! we are both very happy.

kittybean and all who agree- i respect that you feel this way and i knew that there would be some replies like yours. i am glad that you were honest and that is why i asked. and to answer some of your questions. we have already discussed the major issues that goes into marriage. ie children, religion, finances etc. i appreciate your concern and it makes me happy that you care enough to bring these things up. i know that you have your reservations about its suddeness and all, but trust me, before we said ''i do'' i made sure this is what he wanted. he said yes with a smile on his face and tear in his eye and that is what tells me that we made the right decision. i feel that you are all in a way my friends and vaue all your opinions even if they differ from mine. thank you

I am SOO happy to hear this (puts away baseball bat). You know we just want the best for YOU (and i guess your SO included

!)

 

[Dreamer_D]

I would say I am so happy that he had a change of heart, but at the same time I would ask, "What is the mad rush?" If my BF has such a change I might be tempted to wait a few months before actually getting married to make sure that the change of heart was a deep and permanent one. Although this is probably not the case for you, I have a friend who''s ex-husband avoided marriage for years and then had a sudden change of heart... they had a destination wedding very soon after and then within two months, his heart changed again and they separated. You know your BF better than anyone and know his sincerity, but waiting until cooler emotions prevail is never a bad plan when making any large life decision.

 

[dreaming of the day]

I think this is what you wanted, so be happy and fully enjoy! Congratulations and the best of luck on your future together!

 

[ladypirate]

Congratulations! Have fun today!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Wow, as my three year old nephew would say "I didn't see this coming"

As someone who got engaged quickly, I am not one to speak when it comes to timing. All I can say is when you know, you know. However marriage is nothing to be rushed. I am curious to know where this giant change of heart came from? Just a few days ago, you're sure he doesn't want to marry...and now, you're marrying each other tomorrow? I hope, for what it's worth, that you'll be as happy always as you are today...but please know, just because you want something intimate and small, doesn't mean it has to be tomorrow. Marriage licenses are valid for 3 months are, I believe...you could at least wait till you get the rings....since I think anything "throw away" shouldn't be used as the symbol of eternial love and together at your wedding...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 9/12/2008 2:19:43 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
Wow, as my three year old nephew would say ''I didn''t see this coming''


As someone who got engaged quickly, I am not one to speak when it comes to timing. All I can say is when you know, you know. However marriage is nothing to be rushed. I am curious to know where this giant change of heart came from? Just a few days ago, you''re sure he doesn''t want to marry...and now, you''re marrying each other tomorrow? I hope, for what it''s worth, that you''ll be as happy always as you are today...but please know, just because you want something intimate and small, doesn''t mean it has to be tomorrow. Marriage licenses are valid for 3 months are, I believe...you could at least wait till you get the rings....since I think anything ''throw away'' shouldn''t be used as the symbol of eternial love and together at your wedding...

As un often as this happens I have to agree with italia I would never want to use rings that weren''t what I planned on wearing the rest of my life for my wedding!!!

 

[AprilBaby]

Congratulations! I hope all went well!

 

[Hera]

Waiting for a change of heart, maybe. Waiting for gold or platinum jewelry, not for everyone.