- Joined
- Apr 21, 2010
- Messages
- 5,602
I prefer not to tell any lies at all - most of the time I am successful - I have spent time rationalizing certain statements so that I am comfortable with their truth - for example, occasionally I will call in sick to work, saying I don't feel well and am staying home - in my own head, I have decided that "not feeling well" can mean "not feeling able to face a work-day" - and for social invitations I sometimes decline and explain I'm unable to attend due to other plans - while some of those people may believe I have another social engagement, the reality is that the "other plan" is one of my own making (i.e., I have a book I'm eager to get to, or I prefer to do errands during that time slot).
In my younger days, I did not realize that I do not owe explanations or calendar entries to anyone whose invitation I am declining, so back then I did offer white lies to back-up my "no." But I did not feel comfortable with this practice - particularly because I say "no" to invitations much more often than I ever say "yes" - so there were a lot of white lies. Fortunately, I came to see that all I have to do is say yes or no, and occasionally back-up the "no" with the "other plans" statement. This works very well for me.
I have told some whopper lies, years and years ago, when I was still trying to figure out who I am and how I fit into the world - I've come clean about most of them to the people they affected - and otherwise have moved on in my life and in my skin - these days I don't look back and regret the lies (or bad behavior or bad decisions) from my younger me, as people grow and mature and learn at different rates... and though I have been book-smart from an early age, I tend to be a very slow learner otherwise. I don't want to hold on to my mistakes; I want to learn from them, and move on.
Words matter and I try to use them so I hear the truth (my truth) when I speak - if I hear the truth, then others should hear (and see) it.
And, I don't care to be lied to. (No one does.) I know sometimes people lie because it is easier, or they are confused, or feel backed into a corner. And sometimes people lie because lies give them power. Regardless, habitual liars get short shrift from me.
In my younger days, I did not realize that I do not owe explanations or calendar entries to anyone whose invitation I am declining, so back then I did offer white lies to back-up my "no." But I did not feel comfortable with this practice - particularly because I say "no" to invitations much more often than I ever say "yes" - so there were a lot of white lies. Fortunately, I came to see that all I have to do is say yes or no, and occasionally back-up the "no" with the "other plans" statement. This works very well for me.
I have told some whopper lies, years and years ago, when I was still trying to figure out who I am and how I fit into the world - I've come clean about most of them to the people they affected - and otherwise have moved on in my life and in my skin - these days I don't look back and regret the lies (or bad behavior or bad decisions) from my younger me, as people grow and mature and learn at different rates... and though I have been book-smart from an early age, I tend to be a very slow learner otherwise. I don't want to hold on to my mistakes; I want to learn from them, and move on.
Words matter and I try to use them so I hear the truth (my truth) when I speak - if I hear the truth, then others should hear (and see) it.
And, I don't care to be lied to. (No one does.) I know sometimes people lie because it is easier, or they are confused, or feel backed into a corner. And sometimes people lie because lies give them power. Regardless, habitual liars get short shrift from me.
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