Who’s NOT planning an upgrade? Show me your forever set!

[alene]

I don’t always wear them as a set, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be upgrading. The stone is 1.6ct, from my original ering, reset by Stephen Kirsch a few years ago.

 

[missy]

@alene what a beautiful ring. I love SK’s work. And I can see why this is your forever ring. Perfection

I don’t always wear them as a set, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be upgrading. The stone is 1.6ct, from my original ering, reset by Stephen Kirsch a few years ago.

 

[redwood66]

No plans right now.

Hey lady thanks for this pic because I can't remember seeing one with all three together. Is this the 1.9mm eternity with single cuts?

 

[missy]

No plans right now.

Heart stopping OEC and ring and they are all so gorgeous together.

 

[LLJsmom]

Hey lady thanks for this pic because I can't remember seeing one with all three together. Is this the 1.9mm eternity with single cuts?

Yes this is Victor’s single cut eternity. You have a good memory. It was just shy of 2mm.

 

[princessk]

I'm done with upgrades for a while, so I will call this my 'forever' set! Technically the 'set' has not changed in over 10yrs, just the center stone

beautiful! What are the specs on your ring? Love it! Lots of times I wish I had done solitaire rather than pave Yours is ideal

 

[CareBear]

beautiful! What are the specs on your ring? Love it! Lots of times I wish I had done solitaire rather than pave Yours is ideal

Thank you princessk! The center stone is 2.968 H VS2 in a Tiffany style knife edge setting. The eternity band is 3.1ctw with 16 F/G stones.

 

[LightBright]

I don’t always wear them as a set, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be upgrading. The stone is 1.6ct, from my original ering, reset by Stephen Kirsch a few years ago.

Alene, I’ve always loved your ring from SK. Wow, the scale, detailing and craftsmanship are perfection. It makes your beautiful diamond look huge. Wear it in good health!

 

[MiaSuperstar]

Western Europe here. Upgrading a gift is something I simply can’t understand. “Hey, what you gave was great!!! .... but not great enough. I’ll get something bigger and better if you don’t mind. I know you asked me to be you wife with this gift. You put thought and your heart into it! But I want more!!” Sorry but that’s what I hear in my head when I read about upgrades... I don’t mind some more bling with time but I have another hand and two ears and wrist and a neck which I can decorate with gorgeous shiny things.
Anyways. I have a forever set I love beyond everything. I can’t wear the band for another 56 days but I have a picture.

 

[CareBear]

@MiaSuperstar, not all of us here got engaged to SOs who could, at the time of the engagement, afford a ring as nice as the one you are displaying here. In my case, for my original e-ring, I purposely asked DH to get a stone smaller than he could afford so that we could put our money towards something more meaningful than a piece of jewelry. We agreed that once we had more disposable income, I'd change to a bigger stone. So yes, you simply do not understand other people's situations, so please keep your judgemental comments to yourself.

 

[mrs-b]

Western Europe here. Upgrading a gift is something I simply can’t understand. “Hey, what you gave was great!!! .... but not great enough. I’ll get something bigger and better if you don’t mind. I know you asked me to be you wife with this gift. You put thought and your heart into it! But I want more!!” Sorry but that’s what I hear in my head when I read about upgrades... I don’t mind some more bling with time but I have another hand and two ears and wrist and a neck which I can decorate with gorgeous shiny things.
Anyways. I have a forever set I love beyond everything. I can’t wear the band for another 56 days but I have a picture.

Mia - could you pls include the stats of your ring?

Thanks!

 

[mrs-b]

@MiaSuperstar -

Just to add - upgrades happen for all sorts of reasons. I got engaged with my deceased mother's diamond. We went to a disreputable jewelry who stole it and substituted something smaller and with lower specs. We were VERY young, and didn't know. When we realized, we were both appalled and wanted to get rid of the substitute diamond asap. So - we upgraded.

So all that to say - people upgrade for all sorts of reasons - the most common one - as you will see if you spend more time here - being husbands who want their wives to have something more substantial and/or beautiful for later anniversaries. Not every woman who upgrades is money-grabbing, mercurial or materialistic. Not every woman is even the person driving the upgrade.

 

[MiaSuperstar]

@MiaSuperstar, not all of us here got engaged to SOs who could, at the time of the engagement, afford a ring as nice as the one you are displaying here. In my case, for my original e-ring, I purposely asked DH to get a stone smaller than he could afford so that we could put our money towards something more meaningful than a piece of jewelry. We agreed that once we had more disposable income, I'd change to a bigger stone. So yes, you simply do not understand other people's situations, so please keep your judgemental comments to yourself.

I am not judging. I was just explaining what I think when I hear upgrade. Where I am from a 0.5 is considered huge!! I never even heard of upgrades before I started reading blogs like this. I was simply floored.
And I know I was lucky to get such a generous gift. I am in awe of it every single day.
And I would have been in awe if it would have been smaller stone or another gemstone than a diamond or just a simple band like its tradition here (or where I am from as I am in the US now). For me it’s about the meaning that stands behind the gift I received.
But you go ahead and judge... what’s meaningful or not for example.

 

[MiaSuperstar]

@MiaSuperstar -

Just to add - upgrades happen for all sorts of reasons. I got engaged with my deceased mother's diamond. We went to a disreputable jewelry who stole it and substituted something smaller and with lower specs. We were VERY young, and didn't know. When we realized, we were both appalled and wanted to get rid of the substitute diamond asap. So - we upgraded.

So all that to say - people upgrade for all sorts of reasons - the most common one - as you will see if you spend more time here - being husbands who want their wives to have something more substantial and/or beautiful for later anniversaries. Not every woman who upgrades is money-grabbing, mercurial or materialistic. Not every woman is even the person driving the upgrade.

I never said anything about money-grabbing, mercurial or materialistic. There’s so much beautiful jewelry out there you can have, collect, admire and love. Earrings, RHR, necklaces, bracelets...
But why change something like an engagement ring or wedding band? Except there’s a good reason behind it like theft or if it’s lost or damaged?

Btw I am very sorry what happens to your mother’s diamond. Being a sentimental person that sounds horrible to me!

He asked once with what he could afford at that moment. He put love and thought into it. He got down on his knee and asked you to spent the rest of your life with him. That happens once. And only once you stand with him and say I do... how can this be upgraded? I just simple don’t understand it.

 

[MiaSuperstar]

Mia - could you pls include the stats of your ring?

Thanks!

2,61 GIA XXX G VS1
2 ctw eternity, average G color/VS2/ex cut, about 3 mm wide
5.5 US ring size

 

[MiaSuperstar]

@MiaSuperstar, not all of us here got engaged to SOs who could, at the time of the engagement, afford a ring as nice as the one you are displaying here. In my case, for my original e-ring, I purposely asked DH to get a stone smaller than he could afford so that we could put our money towards something more meaningful than a piece of jewelry. We agreed that once we had more disposable income, I'd change to a bigger stone. So yes, you simply do not understand other people's situations, so please keep your judgemental comments to yourself.

Btw thank you for the hidden compliment...

 

[CareBear]

He asked once with what he could afford at that moment. He put love and thought into it. He got down on his knee and asked you to spent the rest of your life with him. That happens once. And only once you stand with him and say I do... how can this be upgraded? I just simple don’t understand it.

I said yes to the person, not the ring. I smiled there because you sound exactly like my BFF!

Btw thank you for the hidden compliment...

Welcome! Your rings are gorgeous! May we ask who made them?

 

[MiaSuperstar]

I said yes to the person, not the ring. I smiled there because you sound exactly like my BFF!


Welcome! Your rings are gorgeous! May we ask who made them?

ER is from James Allen and the band is BlueNile.

 

[mrs-b]

I never said anything about money-grabbing, mercurial or materialistic. There’s so much beautiful jewelry out there you can have, collect, admire and love. Earrings, RHR, necklaces, bracelets...
But why change something like an engagement ring or wedding band? Except there’s a good reason behind it like theft or if it’s lost or damaged?

Btw I am very sorry what happens to your mother’s diamond. Being a sentimental person that sounds horrible to me!

He asked once with what he could afford at that moment. He put love and thought into it. He got down on his knee and asked you to spent the rest of your life with him. That happens once. And only once you stand with him and say I do... how can this be upgraded? I just simple don’t understand it.

(Actually, I asked him. But that's beside the point....)

Exactly. You've hit the nail on the head. The asking - the saying yes - the melding of 2 people - THAT'S what marriage is, and that's what is precious. The rest is just hardware. The ring is not the man. I'm passionately committed to my husband and out lives together. Our marriage was probably the happiest day of my life. But I'm not at all sentimental - and my e-ring diamond was stolen and my wedding ring gave me eczema. I had my rings melted down and made into a pendant that is one of those 'things I'd save in a fire' sorts of things. The diamond I still have, but it has a more bitter flavor attached to it. But they're still only 'things'. I have a pretty clear delineation between things and people. People are better. Things are...things.

ETA Since I did the asking, and didn't have a ring for him, I wonder if he's kept the jeans he was wearing when I asked? Or something else equally sentimental? Once you start designating 'stuff' as intrinsically important, you start down a slippery slope....

 

[msop04]

I never said anything about money-grabbing, mercurial or materialistic. There’s so much beautiful jewelry out there you can have, collect, admire and love. Earrings, RHR, necklaces, bracelets...
But why change something like an engagement ring or wedding band? Except there’s a good reason behind it like theft or if it’s lost or damaged?

Btw I am very sorry what happens to your mother’s diamond. Being a sentimental person that sounds horrible to me!

He asked once with what he could afford at that moment. He put love and thought into it. He got down on his knee and asked you to spent the rest of your life with him. That happens once. And only once you stand with him and say I do... how can this be upgraded? I just simple don’t understand it.

Wait... this is PS, right?? ...I thought I was on the 'bee for a second.

 

[redwood66]

I never said anything about money-grabbing, mercurial or materialistic. There’s so much beautiful jewelry out there you can have, collect, admire and love. Earrings, RHR, necklaces, bracelets...
But why change something like an engagement ring or wedding band? Except there’s a good reason behind it like theft or if it’s lost or damaged?

Btw I am very sorry what happens to your mother’s diamond. Being a sentimental person that sounds horrible to me!

He asked once with what he could afford at that moment. He put love and thought into it. He got down on his knee and asked you to spent the rest of your life with him. That happens once. And only once you stand with him and say I do... how can this be upgraded? I just simple don’t understand it.

It is not a difficult concept to understand, some people are different than you. I married my husband 28 years ago at the end of this month with a ring that had a .33ct center stone. For our 25th anniversary I now have a 2.20ct stone. I still love him and he still loves me whether or not we had any stone at all. You have a lovely ring btw.

Edit - I still have that .33ct stone but it is set into a ring I can wear without fear of losing it.

 

[missy]

the melding of 2 people - THAT'S what marriage is, and that's what is precious. The rest is just hardware. The ring is not the man. I'm passionately committed to my husband and out lives together

Yes yes yes. I could trade the ring in a million times or have no ring. The ring is not important. The person you choose to spend your life with to share everything with is what matters. That's why I really don't put any sentimental value on my ER. My DH is my true and only real gem.

My parents who are married more than 54 years got engaged with no ring. My dad had no money and proposed on the Brooklyn bridge and my mom said yes. No ring no matter. They loved each other and still do all these decades later. She got a ring when they had some money but that wasn't and isn't what is important.

 

[Laila619]

Western Europe here. Upgrading a gift is something I simply can’t understand. “Hey, what you gave was great!!! .... but not great enough. I’ll get something bigger and better if you don’t mind. I know you asked me to be you wife with this gift. You put thought and your heart into it! But I want more!!” Sorry but that’s what I hear in my head when I read about upgrades... I don’t mind some more bling with time but I have another hand and two ears and wrist and a neck which I can decorate with gorgeous shiny things.
Anyways. I have a forever set I love beyond everything. I can’t wear the band for another 56 days but I have a picture.

Easy to say when you receive a huge rock like yours. Not everyone is in the same position. Sometimes the guy did not put his "thought and heart into it." And sometimes it's the husband himself who suggests the upgrade. You don't know anything about other peoples' mindsets behind upgrading.

 

[MissGotRocks]

All circumstances are different. There are many folks that picked out a ring together but over time decided that they wanted something bigger or better. People that upgrade are usually doing so with their husband's blessings and encouragement. In an ideal world, people would be proposed to and engaged with a ring that can be a forever piece for them. However, the world is not as ideal as all would hope. Being sensitive to other people's situations is a core value that should not be based solely upon your own experience.

 

[bludiva]

@MiaSuperstar no offense intended but perhaps there is some cultural/phrasing barrier that makes your post sound more judgmental than you meant. i don't think upgrading is actually that common here (i'm in the US) but among those who do from what i've seen it's usually not out of ungratefulness but a joint decision with one's partner. i also know a lot of people who put the engagement ring away after a while and just wear their band.

it sounds like you're not married yet, once you've worn the same ring for 10 or 20 years you might feel differently. you are fortunate to have a set that is a dream/forever set for many and so should cut some extra slack to those who desire to have something similar someday.

 

[stonewell]

All circumstances are different. There are many folks that picked out a ring together but over time decided that they wanted something bigger or better. People that upgrade are usually doing so with their husband's blessings and encouragement. In an ideal world, people would be proposed to and engaged with a ring that can be a forever piece for them. However, the world is not as ideal as all would hope. Being sensitive to other people's situations is a core value that should not be based solely upon your own experience.

This ^^^ is spot on.

Just a quick look at my posting history shows the progression my husband and I went through from knowing absolutely nothing about jewelry (with less than desirable results) to learning and understanding what we both will love. I know it sounds corny, but he says he gets just as much joy looking at what I’ve upgraded to as I do. We’ve done every upgrade together and it’s sort of become a hobby for both of us. Lucky me!

So, this is my “forever for now” set... but what matters is I know I have my forever man.

 

[MiaSuperstar]

@MiaSuperstar no offense intended but perhaps there is some cultural/phrasing barrier that makes your post sound more judgmental than you meant. i don't think upgrading is actually that common here (i'm in the US) but among those who do from what i've seen it's usually not out of ungratefulness but a joint decision with one's partner. i also know a lot of people who put the engagement ring away after a while and just wear their band.

it sounds like you're not married yet, once you've worn the same ring for 10 or 20 years you might feel differently. you are fortunate to have a set that is a dream/forever set for many and so should cut some extra slack to those who desire to have something similar someday.

I do think it’s a cultural barrier. We say what we think and are okay with other’s opinions even if they seem or are abrasive. There are tons of articles, papers and essays on that topic... you can say what you think on no one is really offended. Here it’s seems a bit different I just noticed. Some ladies got really really defensive. A bit too defensive...

I cannot say how it’s going to be in twenty years... And my fiancé offered - after scanning the bees, PS or the purse blog (I actually saw him do that ) - to upgrade it in X years. It’s just that I just can’t imagine giving this particular token of love away.
I put little value to “things”. For that I have moved to often and left literal everything behind. I like traveling light. But there are some things I do value.

To each their own.

And thank you for the compliment. so many wonderful rings on PS though.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Western Europe here. Upgrading a gift is something I simply can’t understand. “Hey, what you gave was great!!! .... but not great enough. I’ll get something bigger and better if you don’t mind. I know you asked me to be you wife with this gift. You put thought and your heart into it! But I want more!!” Sorry but that’s what I hear in my head when I read about upgrades...

Nothing is forever especially the husband. Many of the ladies here have had upgraded the husband...

 

[luckyblackcat]

I posted about my forever ring here and I wanted to add that my husband actually proposed with a different ring, and those who followed my saga know that it was a part of a trade-in towards my forever set (infinite thanks DBL!!!). The first ring was beautiful, but it was just not me. As a functioning adult in a committed relationship, I openly expressed my ring regrets to my husband and, also as a functioning adult in a committed relationship, he encouraged me to upgrade the ring with our wedding jewelry budget. As an extremely sentimental person, I'm so grateful and proud I eventually got my custom dream ring, because now my engagement ring is something I can wear every day and feel such joy from.

I feel like those who invest time, money, and energy into jewelry, especially women, get a lot of flak for their hobby/passion in a way that those who invest the same in say, gadgets, cars, or what have you, do not. Particularly, women who upgrade their engagement rings so often are put in a position where they have to justify themselves. I for one still get a lot of "just jokes" from my MIL about my upgraded ring. She's a hoot, that one.

 

[mrs-b]

This ^^^ is spot on.

Just a quick look at my posting history shows the progression my husband and I went through from knowing absolutely nothing about jewelry (with less than desirable results) to learning and understanding what we both will love. I know it sounds corny, but he says he gets just as much joy looking at what I’ve upgraded to as I do. We’ve done every upgrade together and it’s sort of become a hobby for both of us. Lucky me!

So, this is my “forever for now” set... but what matters is I know I have my forever man.

@stonewell - I DEFINITELY want the stats on this beauty!!