Anxious to get the engagement ring

[JCJD]

Dude!!! I'm a cut rock!! When did that happen? I suggest that this occasion is an excuse for chocolate for all!

(Advice??? Please???? Anybody!! I don't know what to do with the crazy boyfriend!!!)

 

[ChooChoo]

Hmmm... any chance that he already bought it, which would explain why he doesn't want to hear about likes and dislikes now?

 

[ChooChoo]

BTW, I'm already the poster that's been on this thread the longest... Why do I feel that I will outlast you all?

 

[JCJD]

Choo-Choo: I have no idea; he REFUSES to tell me anything! But, given the fact that he's been out of work for the past 5 or so months, and for over a year before that 1.5 month temp gig, and the fact that he's got "$4 to his name" and no credit cards, I think that this is highly unlikely. I wonder sometimes if he's pulling a fast one on me, but I don't think he'd really do that. There's the possibility that he's asked his parents for a loan, but he knows I don't want an ering if it means he'll go into debt with his 'rents just to get me a diamond that I don't need. Hmmmm... yeah... [repeat first sentence here.]

I'm sorry, I'm just feeling depressed right now cause it's almost November and I don't understand how he thinks he can make it by Thanksgiving. And since he's refusing to help me out of my slump, you ladies are my only hope. Thanks.

 

[goldengirl]

Welllllll.....JCJD.... if he said Thanksgiving, I'd expect it by Thanksgiving. Of course, then you might end up like MelissaSue, with a date that keeps changing!

I can't imagine that he'd tell you he could propose by Thanksgiving if he had no intention of doing so. Kick back, it's only a few weeks away!

 

[goldengirl]

----------------
On 10/25/2004 3:36:29 PM JCJD wrote:

Dude!!! I'm a cut rock!! When did that happen?------------------

Hey! Me too!! Chocolate it is!!

 

[JCJD]

I suppose you're right goldengirl... but no matter how I look at the info available to me, I don't get it. I guess I should be happy, but since everything is telling me that it is financially improbable that he can afford a ring by Thanksgiving (let alone by Christmas!!), my stupid analytical mind keeps coming up with worst-case scenarios like us entering married life with huge debt from the ring and wedding he insists I have. I'm probably just being stupid and working myself into a tizzy over nothing, but I can't help it sometimes!! I think that what frustrates me the most is the way he keeps changing the subject whenever I ask about it and laughing at me when I bring it up again!! He could at least lie and tell me it won't happen until Valentine's or something!! That would at least make sense to my poor little mind!!!!

 

[tlmd]

JCJD - I think it is amazing how stressful this entire process is. What should be a fun and exciting time seems to end up so frustrating for most people! My BF and I finally started looking for rings and trying to decide what we want, what our budget is etc. I took this first gesture WAY to seriously and went from 0 to 60 is 6 seconds. AKA I went crazy and started getting way too excited and was putting a lot of pressure on him. I finally just realized that the only thing I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. You and your boyfriend have been dating for a long time and I highly doubt he will get you something that you won't like. I bet you'll love it no matter what when he finally does propose.

 

[goldengirl]

----------------
On 10/25/2004 5:55:17 PM tlmd wrote:

My BF and I finally started looking for rings and trying to decide what we want, what our budget is etc. I took this first gesture WAY to seriously and went from 0 to 60 is 6 seconds. AKA I went crazy and started getting way too excited and was putting a lot of pressure on him. I finally just realized that the only thing I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.----------------

Me, too, tlmd...guilty as charged.

So I took a giant step back and was hardly mentioning anything at all anymore, and he still thought I was pushing the issue... so now I'm on the zip-it plan. Which isn't any fun for me at all.

 

[tlmd]

Sounds like we have taken to similar approaches. I have to say though I've noticed the more I chill out about it and don't talk about rings as much, the more HE brings it up, which is the way I want it to be. If only he had a deadline like JCJD's bf. The way my bf makes decisions, we'll still be "researching" for months!

 

[fancyrock]

To my own surprise, IT happened!!!!! I am leaving "THE CLUB". Sad /idealbb/images/smilies/sad.gif and happy /idealbb/images/smilies/1.gif.... bitter /idealbb/images/smilies/cry.gif sweet /idealbb/images/smilies/2.gif....




I have posted a thread "he POPPED the big Q" with lots of pictures. Enjoy and have fun...




I will cross my name off ...... /idealbb/images/smilies/5.gif /idealbb/images/smilies/16.gif Good luck and best wishes to you all....../idealbb/images/smilies/wavey.gif /idealbb/images/smilies/appl.gif

THE LIST​

ChooChoo
GingerBCookie
GoldenGirl
Reena
JCJD
TMLD
NJC
Ivanadiamond
Tybee
1215n
Lauren
firerock
Jen​

 

[njc]

CONGRATULATIONS FIREROCK!!!

I'll be over to check out your thread in a minute... cant wait to see pics!




TLMD & GG - I too had to take the whole step back and just let it go. That was back in April/May. We had gone to look at rings (for the second time) and i wanted to go back one more time and the b/f said no. I kinda lost it and was a HUGE brat for a couple days which made him really mad. I explained that i just got really excited that it was *finally* going to happen, that i had been waiting for 2 years and felt a little rejected. We agreed not to talk about it for a couple months and in August we'd go look again. Well, August rolled by and i still didnt say anything for fear of being the ring brat again. Finally the weekend after Labor Day we went and i picked everything out. I got the impression he went back later and got everything and was waiting for my b-day... turns out he never went and tried to get something the day before my b-day and of course they had to order the setting. So no, its not easy, but i think taking the step back and giving them some room makes it a little easier on the boys.




JCJD - Have you tried to talk to him and say you are concerned with the money and the time frame hes given you? I agree that he could have already bought your ring and is trying to throw you off the trail. I know its tough but maybe a little honest concerns could help you both out? Maybe say you are just worried that he feels he has to go out and get you a big *bling bling* when something simple would do and that is why you want the two of you to go shopping? Saves him money and you get a little input in?

 

[JCJD]

Congratulations firerock!!!!! I can't wait to see the "fixed" pictures!!!! Your proposal sounds simply perfect!!

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I'm feeling much better today. I talked to him about it last night, and basically I ended up crying in his shoulder for an hour or so spilling out all of my recent frustrations about the whole situation. He didn't answer many of my questions, but I still feel better because now he understands. I think I finally got it through his head that I just want to be married to him. I don't need a ring, I don't need a big huge wedding, but as long as he insists on me having those things, then I feel like I should have a say in what he's giving me. And after all of those terrible feelings poured out of me and I was finally done crying, you know what he says to me? "You're so wonderful JC. I love you."!!!!!!

So I cried again!!
I also got him to "agree" that a proposal won't happen until V-day, so now the financial situation makes sense to me with this "new date" (I'm such a dork!). He still won't go look at rings with me, but he knows I'll keep pressing the topic until he takes me to a jewelry store, he comes up with a good reason why we shouldn't go, or he proposes, and he's OK with that. And he did explain what he doesn't like about wedding sets. He doesn't like wedding wraps, where the w-ring wraps around the e-ring, so now we're clear on that too. *SIGH!!* Crazy love...

And tlmd: I totally chilled out on the topic for a long time too, but then started worrying again, which is when he told me he'd set the deadline. While that definitely made me feel better knowing that the wheels are turning, it's now led to more anxiety and frustration because I don't see how he's going to make the deadline now! But he insists he can and that he's not going into debt on my ring, so I'll trust him and wait. And I should be engaged by "Valentine's Day"!!!!!

Thanks again everyone!!! I love this club!!!!!

JCJD

 

[JCJD]

OH! And he's been looking for solitaire's, which is where my tastes have circled back to. Jennifer's and lsmathis' rings have been calling to me for a while, and Melissa's and Tulip's 3-stones are GORGEOUS, but I think I'd like a solitaire e-ring with a 5 or 7 stone w-band. Maybe we could manage an 8 stone, for what will be almost 8 years together before the wedding!

EDIT: And I LOVE the vatche royal crown setting!!! Can't decide between a 4 prong or 6 prong if not the vatche....

 

[njc]

Glad to hear you all talked and got things straight. What a sweet guy to say such a sweet thing after all your ranting! I would start crying all over again too.




I really like the royal crown too, but felt it was a little too high for me. LOVE the six prongs. But i noticed when i was trying on various rings with different size stones in them, IMPO once the stone got below about 0.7 cts, the prongs started to take over the diamond too much in 6-prong settings. But they still look very nice. Good luck in getting him to go into a jewelry store with you!

 

[MelissaSue]

Yea Firerock! I'm going right now to look at your thread!

 

[tlmd]

JCJD - It's amazing what a good cry and a new day can do to make you feel better! It sounds like you have an amazingly understanding boyfriend too! I have to say that taking a step back and chilling out on the issue is much easier said then done. Sometimes I have those days where I just want an answer from him as to "when" but then other days I love the anticipation of not knowing. I can be pretty fickle sometimes. Although I am very excited about getting the ring, I am most excited to be married to him. We've been dating for so long and talking about marriage forever. I just can't wait to make it official. Although that still doesn't mean I don't love researching diamonds and dreaming of what my ring will look like!

 

[palmbaybabe]

hi, I just found this thread and I only had the chance to read through page 6, can I still join your club and add my name to your list?
wendy

 

[denverkat]

Hi Ladies,
Thought I'd come out of hiding today, too- once you start visiting Pricescope more than twice a day, it's probably time to start contributing to the conversation, right?

Just in case the list is getting too small, you can definitely add my name to it. I've been a real class act lately, as far as pressuring the issue goes, so I need a new outlet. (Apparently, my boyfriend doesn't like getting up every morning and being directed to read Pricescope posts- crazy ppl who'd rather read the paper than look at diamonds!)

Thanks for letting me in on the fun

-Kat

 

[njc]

In hopes of following the good fortune of Melissa and other past list keepers, i'll try and keep up!​

THE LIST​

ChooChoo
GingerBCookie
GoldenGirl
Reena
JCJD
TLMD
NJC
Ivanadiamond
Tybee
1215n
Lauren
Jen​

Palmbaybabe​

Denverkat​

Welcome PalmBB and DenverK! You ladies will have to tell us about any rings or stones you have picked! We are suckers for pictures and stories with details!!!

​

PalmBB - youve got some good reading ahead of you if you are only on page 6! I think the only other thread that is longer than this is the eye candy folder!​

 

[JCJD]

Welcome wendy/palmbaybabe!! We will gladly/reluctantly add you to the ladies-in-waiting list!!

Gladly because we're glad you're here, and reluctantly because you're playing the waiting game too and we sympathize!
EDIT: And denverKat!!!

njc - My b/f is an AMAZING guy!!! That's why I keep pushing for engagement!! I can't wait until he's mine and I'm his for the rest of our lives, and I want it to start NOW!! Too bad he's steadfastly committed to giving me an ering and having a big fancy wedding and refuses to elope with "plain" wedding bands....

On the other hand....

That's exactly why I need to go try rings on!! I might not like a 4-prong and love a bezel on my hand, which isn't what I like on the computer screen (and wouldn't he like to know that before dropping $$$ on a ring??)! I can't have a ring that's set too high or a stone that's too big or a setting that's not sturdy enough because I'm a biologist and plan to work with wild animals for the rest of my life, and there's no way I'll take that ring off once he puts it on my finger!!! (Ok, Ok, within reason...) I might just have to drag my little sister or mom into a jewelry store with me since the boy refuses to take me himself.

And if he REALLY wants to get me a huge rock, I've got two lovely ears and one graceful neck that need adorning...

Hee-hee-hee...

tlmd - Thanks! I AM feeling much better now! and yes he is!!

I totally hear you on the "fickleness" we all feel in this situation. As I mentioned a while ago on this thread, there was a recent rash of engagements and weddings at our church, ALL involving people younger than us who have been dating for a shorter time than us, and the last of the weddings just happened 2 weeks ago. Plus, all 3 of my stepsisters, including one who is 3 years younger than me, are now married. SOOOOOOO, EVERYBODY is staring at my left hand instead of my face, and has been for AT LEAST 2 months now!!! When people find out how long we've been dating, they can't speak for a moment, and then go "Seven what's??? So when are you getting married?" It's getting really depressing, and it all got to me again a couple days ago. We've been talking marriage for almost 3 years now, and seriously for the past 2 years, so now we're both really ready to make the leap into marriage. But as long as he insists on a ring, I'll keep pushing for a visit to a jewelry store, cause the ring isn't my idea!

 

[Tybee]

I'm like Golden Girl, I keep changing my mind about the setting.

They are really all so beautiful, but I use my hands so much (I teach second grade) so I don't want anything that sits too high, plus I don't want to gauge any little eyes out.

Also, I teach refugee children, so I shouldn't really be wearing anything to big or showy (but I'd really like a carat

I was thinking about a RB with side baguettes...anyone do any searching to find me my ring?

 

[palmbaybabe]

Thanks for the warm welcome, I am so addicted to ps, every spare moment I have is here. My story isn't as interesing as some that I have read but here goes. I met my bf online through a mutual friend so at least he wasn't a complete stranger just more of a blind date thing except that he lives in Florida and I live in Wisconsin. We met/talked on the phone in April of 2003 and our conversations would last hours, we met in person for the first time in Aug.03 and he has been here to visit me another 4 times. He saw my pic through our mutual friend and new that I was the one. He is older than me, he is 50 I am 36 but that doesn't matter to me. I am going to visit him in Dec. I will be there Dec 27 and come Home on Jan 4. I do know that he will propose then but I do not know when, where, how and it is killing me not knowing but yet I don't want to know, I want to have some suprise. Now to the ring, again, I don't know any details yet cuz I didn't want to see it or pick it out myself, but I have sent him pics of what I like, I want a princess cut in a tulip setting solitaire, yellow gold w/platnium prongs. I have a jeweler here in Wi, that Steve (my bf) is working with over the phone. I totally trust the jeweler to choose what I would like without my having to see it. Sorry this was so long.

 

[jenwill]

PalmBB- that wasn't long...you should see some of the posts I have written on other threads! Sounds like the two of you are moving along int he right direction...keep us updated.

JCJD- I so totally can feel where you were at the night you had your 'vent-fest'. I have not been with boyfriend as long as you two have been together, but 2 years is seeming long enough at age 34. Why don't they get that some of us would be so happy just to get married...the ring is secondary (or tertiary for that matter)? I am sure once I have one I will like it, but really, I just want to get our 'official' life started together.

 

[fancyrock]

Welcome new members!! This thread has been the BEST one so far. It has helped many of us thru some tough times. We love stories and PICTURES!!

 

[tlmd]

Welcome new members! I'm sure you will find comfort in coming here to learn/vent/share stories etc.!

PalmBayBabe - I am from Wisconsin too. I actually live in the Milwaukee area. Where is the jeweler you work with? My BF and I just in the beginning stages and I haven't actually found anything I like yet. Any good references are appreciated!

 

[JCJD]

jenwill - We've got an excuse for dating so long - I was 15 when we started "going out", as we said in high school. Plus, we were long-distance for 4 years while I was in college 2 states away, and now I'm back in town for grad school (and coming home for grad school was NOT part of my plan!!!). I really think that 2 years is plenty of time, no matter what your age, assuming the relationship is healthy and not harmfully disfunctional.

And I agree!! I'm completely sick and tired (OK, maybe not completely...

) of boys thinking we need the huge diamond ring and a fairytale/royal wedding to be happy with them!!!!! Boys!!! What are we going to do with them....

 

[goldengirl]

Welcome to all the new ladies!! Hope your stay is SHORT!!

firerock---CONGRATS!!!!! I'll be popping by the "P the Q" thread to check out your new pretty.....

tlmd--at least you got a positive response to the zip-it program. I find that before, when I talked about it all the time, he didn't talk much if at all. Now that I'm not talking about it at all, he's not talking about it at all, either. I almost feel like I have to "remind" him to think about it...ugh.

I'm sure he is, he's just a sneaky type. He's not likely to talk about it if he's got something in the works, right? Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.

Nonetheless, I doubt this will be an "especially" happy holiday season.

 

[palmbaybabe]

TLMD - I am just south of Mitchell Airport, I'm in Oak Creek, my jeweler is Kelvin Schroeder Jewelers in Oak Creek on S Howell Ave. If you stop in ask for Kelvin and tell him I (Wendy) sent you, Good Luck and have fun ring shopping.

 

[yanekie25]

I am new here. I just found this forum searching for cushion cuts. My new obsession. We are now in the process of getting the ring. So heart wrenching, since I know he is working on it.

I hope my stay is short, but unlikely. Since I keep changing my mind on what I want