Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Anyone here prefer NOT to have a

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Date: 7/7/2005 3:19:50 PM
Author: AGBF



Date: 7/7/2005 10:52:19 AM
Author: sjz
Everyone I knew treated their pets very well, and had lots of affection for their animals. But NOBODY I knew ever regarded their pets as their ''children''. Not even my cousin, who was never married and had a little schnauzer named Scooter. She was crazy over him, and grieved like no tomorrow when he died.
Click to expand...

Does it matter? I call my dog my baby (and also, ''my guy'') although I have a human child (and a husband). When my younger brother was little, our spaniel died. He kept the cardboard box of her ashes in his room, played the song, ''Ruby Tuesday'' on the record player, and cried every day. After a year of mourning our parents felt it was time for him to let go, so they buried the ashes with all the family''s other pets on my great grandparents'' land. He didn''t call the dog his baby, but he felt her loss in a way I had never seen him feel anything. So the dog mattered. A lot. What does it matter what he called her? What I call my dog now? I just don''t get why this bothers anyone.

Deb
Click to expand...

You people really want to find things to argue about!!! ABGF, both you and F&I took a *snipett* from my post, in which I was referring to the way things USED to be when I was growing up! OMG...I''m 42 years old now, not 12...lol. Things have changed. Back then, nobody I ever heard of thought of their pets as their kids, and referred to them as such. If they had, people would have thought they were nuts! F&I asked what planet I''m from??? Sometimes I wonder what planet you guys are from that you seem to want to turn so many threads into arguments! I pretty much never have such contentious conversations with anyone in the "real" world. You can''t take quote snipetts of what people say totally out of context in real life like you do here...can you? Geesh, lighten up! This was a very interesting thread, and once again, it seems to degenerate once people start speaking up for the "other side". It''s not about animals vs. people.
 
Something else interesting I''ve noticed while reading this thread...most of you who are staunchly defending the fact that you love your pets just as much as other people love their children, say that to you your pets ARE your children DON''T HAVE ANY CHILDREN and/or DON''T WANT ANY CHILDREN. Most of the people arguing the opposite view point have BOTH pets and children.

Nobody that I''ve seen so far has said that it''s terrible not to want either pets or children. That doesn''t seem to be an issue. I have noticed something, in real life, not just here...people who are EXCLUSIVELY pet people and have no kids are the ones who are constantly trying to push thier pets down other people''s throats, and make OTHER people treat and veiw their pets in the same way as children. That''s what bugs me. I know that people who have kids can be overbearing, too, sometimes. It''s like they think that everyone should experience the "joy of parenthood". I don''t really think that''s cool, either. But I speak from my own experience, and know that most people I know who have both pets and "real" children feel the same...once you have children, even if you did feel like your pets were your children, you change. Your kids somehow put the feelings you once had toward your pets in a different perspective. Sure, you still love your pets. I know very few people who treat their pets with less love and affection after the babies come along. I do know people, for whatever reason, could not or would not keep their pets after the kids came along. I kind of think that people probably have good reasons for whatever decisions they make in that regard, and most likely it''s not often due to the fact that they "suddenly" don''t care about the pets anymore.
 
Date: 7/7/2005 7:10:08 PM
Author: sjz
Something else interesting I''ve noticed while reading this thread...most of you who are staunchly defending the fact that you love your pets just as much as other people love their children, say that to you your pets ARE your children DON''T HAVE ANY CHILDREN and/or DON''T WANT ANY CHILDREN. Most of the people arguing the opposite view point have BOTH pets and children.

Nobody that I''ve seen so far has said that it''s terrible not to want either pets or children. That doesn''t seem to be an issue. I have noticed something, in real life, not just here...people who are EXCLUSIVELY pet people and have no kids are the ones who are constantly trying to push thier pets down other people''s throats, and make OTHER people treat and veiw their pets in the same way as children. That''s what bugs me.
Click to expand...
Oh yes, that''s the truth. I push my pet''s down people''s throats? Argument - no - just NOT AGREEING with YOU.

And, no I don''t push my pet''s down people''s throat - pretty ugly words. BTW, do you know the reason I don''t have children? Simply couldn''t - cruel but truth. Don''t push your thoughts on me.
 
sjz...i view your input as someone with a child who doesn't agree with people treating pets like kids or disagreeing with how others prefer to live their lives. i see your posts as a parent who thinks their kids are the end all to be all which is what MOST parents feel about their kids. no big deal, we see it all the time in real life. people who have kids love to tell others about them and how great they are, even when they don't want to hear about it. many parents of children are judgemental re: those who just have pets and dare to treat them 'like kids' aka 'well'. so you don't understand it...fine...maybe you don't have to?

if you didn't have any input that was positive to put in except to tell people that they should not treat pets like kids or 'substitute' or whatever other terminology...why even speak up? by your first post you said you knew it may cause some strife and yet you posted it into a thread rife with people who adore pets and may not want kids...so what is wrong with others disagreeing with what you said and being free about speaking up right back?
 
Date: 7/7/2005 7:26:10 PM
Author: Mara
sjz...i view your input as someone with a child who doesn''t agree with people treating pets like kids or disagreeing with how others prefer to live their lives. i see your posts as a parent who thinks their kids are the end all to be all which is what MOST parents feel about their kids. no big deal, we see it all the time in real life. people who have kids love to tell others about them and how great they are, even when they don''t want to hear about it. many parents of children are judgemental re: those who just have pets and dare to treat them ''like kids'' aka ''well''. so you don''t understand it...fine...maybe you don''t have to?

if you didn''t have any input that was positive to put in except to tell people that they should not treat pets like kids or ''substitute'' or whatever other terminology...why even speak up? by your first post you said you knew it may cause some strife and yet you posted it into a thread rife with people who adore pets and may not want kids...so what is wrong with others disagreeing with what you said and being free about speaking up right back?
Click to expand...

First of all, I have three children and two pets. I don''t disagree with how other''s prefer to live their lives, but sometimes I might think they are a little silly or full of it...lol. I never said I think my kids are the end all be all, but they are my kids and my world pretty much does revolve around them and my husband, of course. The pets are well within that orbit, too btw. I actually do understand why people treat their pets like kids, but I do think that some people go way overboard. I have not told anyone to treat their pets in any particular way. I CAN speak my mind about how I feel about pets vs. kids. The reason I was initially reluctant wasn''t because I wanted to "tell people that they should not treat pets like kids" it was because I kind of think there are a few fanatics on this forum when it comes to pets. I am perceptive enough to realize that my opinion on the matter would probably ruffle the feathers of some of the more fanatical pet lovers. Guess what? At this point I don''t care. If people want to take parts of my posts out of context of the REST of the post and try to make it look like I''m trying to argue, go for it. It just seems silly to me. As far as disagreeing with me, I think it would have more impact if people were disagreeing with what I ACUTALLY say, instead of taking my words out of context, or inferring from them something that I did not mean in the first place.
 
Suzi, I''d be very interested to know how you define "fanatical about pets" or "pet fanatic"? (this is a genuine question, not an attempt to start trouble)
 
Date: 7/7/2005 7:17:28 PM
Author: fire&ice

Date: 7/7/2005 7:10:08 PM
Author: sjz
Something else interesting I''ve noticed while reading this thread...most of you who are staunchly defending the fact that you love your pets just as much as other people love their children, say that to you your pets ARE your children DON''T HAVE ANY CHILDREN and/or DON''T WANT ANY CHILDREN. Most of the people arguing the opposite view point have BOTH pets and children.

Nobody that I''ve seen so far has said that it''s terrible not to want either pets or children. That doesn''t seem to be an issue. I have noticed something, in real life, not just here...people who are EXCLUSIVELY pet people and have no kids are the ones who are constantly trying to push thier pets down other people''s throats, and make OTHER people treat and veiw their pets in the same way as children. That''s what bugs me.
Click to expand...
Oh yes, that''s the truth. I push my pet''s down people''s throats? Argument - no - just NOT AGREEING with YOU.

And, no I don''t push my pet''s down people''s throat - pretty ugly words. BTW, do you know the reason I don''t have children? Simply couldn''t - cruel but truth. Don''t push your thoughts on me.
Click to expand...
Well, all I can say is you must think you resemble that remark, or else you wouldn''t have taken offense. Or did you just want to argue, too? I don''t need to push my thoughts on anyone, you don''t have to read my posts, you know. There are a couple of people who post here that I usually take offense to, or just plain don''t like their posts. I usually don''t read theirs.

I''m sorry for you that you couldn''t have children. That''s too bad, if you wanted them.
 
My point is... who cares if people are ''fanatical'' about their pets? (By the way that is a somewhat inflammatory word!) Does it matter? To me it''s not good or bad. Love kids. Love pets. Either or. Whatever floats your boat...everyone''s boat must be floated by something.
 
I take PET fanatic over other fanatic any day
 
Date: 7/7/2005 9:53:11 AM
Author: Momoftwo

The ''me'' generation I''m referring to is my own children''s (19 and 21). Everyone has a car, their own room, cell phone, most college paid for (most of my kids friends), just about anything they could want. I definitely didn''t grow up that way. I see a lot of entitlement today from a lot of people. Just look around at cars, homes, debt, etc. The feeling of deserving something just because you exist is alive and well. I actually know one man who told his wife if she really wanted a child, that she could as long as it didnt'' interfere with his lifestyle. That is selfish. I''d question his ability to love anyone else. The point is, sharing is difficult for some people and there are those that feel they''d have to share everything with a child and they dont'' want to.
Click to expand...
yep,they just don''t realize how fortunate they''re,compare to when i was their age.
 
Date: 7/7/2005 6:56:46 PM
Author: sjz
You people really want to find things to argue about!!! ABGF, both you and F&I took a *snipett* from my post, in which I was referring to the way things USED to be when I was growing up! OMG...I''m 42 years old now, not 12...lol. Things have changed. Back then, nobody I ever heard of thought of their pets as their kids, and referred to them as such. If they had, people would have thought they were nuts! F&I asked what planet I''m from??? Sometimes I wonder what planet you guys are from that you seem to want to turn so many threads into arguments! I pretty much never have such contentious conversations with anyone in the ''real'' world. You can''t take quote snipetts of what people say totally out of context in real life like you do here...can you? Geesh, lighten up!
Click to expand...


...and to think I thought I sounded so reasonable! I think I said, "what does it matter?". That must be more inflammatory than I realized!!! Another funny thing (not in the sense of amusing-more in the sense of absolutely astounding) is that you teamed f&i and me. When we agree on anything the entire forum knows that hell has frozen over.

Deb, feeing pretty light in the lightening up department ;-)
 
Date: 7/7/2005 8:11:35 PM
Author: Mara
everyone''s boat must be floated by something.
Click to expand...
hahaha! lol

9.gif
 
Date: 7/7/2005 8:11:35 PM
Author: Mara
My point is... who cares if people are ''fanatical'' about their pets? (By the way that is a somewhat inflammatory word!) Does it matter? To me it''s not good or bad. Love kids. Love pets. Either or. Whatever floats your boat...everyone''s boat must be floated by something.
Click to expand...
Agreed! You don'' like my dogs, then don''t come to my home. If I don''t like your kids, then I won''t go to your. Live and let live.

Note: The only exception to this is a screaming child in a formal restaurant at 9 PM when all I want is some piece and a cold martini.
9.gif
 
i think for couples that don''t have childrens or grand childrens, will find out later on in life if they regret it or not .your pets won''t be able to drive you to the doctors or run earrends for you.

my guess is that 65% of the memebers here don''t have children at this time. looks like 90% of the memebers have dogs or cats as pets.

P.S. i have nothing against pets or couples that don''t have kids,i known couples regret it when it''s too late.
 
Date: 7/7/2005 10:13:49 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i think for couples that don''t have childrens or grand childrens, will find out later on in life if they regret it or not .your pets won''t be able to drive you to the doctors or run earrends for you.

my guess is that 65% of the memebers here don''t have children at this time. looks like 90% of the memebers have dogs or cats as pets.

P.S. i have nothing against pets or couples that don''t have kids,i known couples regret it when it''s too late.
Click to expand...
Yeah and a giant meteor might blow us all us in 6 mos.(so buy more diamonds NOW). Seriously, these are issues to be considered deeply and meaningfully by people making this choice...there are no guarantees but having a child just so someone can change your diaper when your 90 is NOT a good reason in my book to make that decision now.

I believe you have to want--in your heart of hearts and soul of souls--to bring another human being into the world (or into your home as AGBF so eloquently stated in her earlier post) and nurture and love him/her, and put all your needs and wants aside for that child. THAT is being a mother [or a father for that matter]--not simply pushing out a baby. Anyone can do that.
20.gif
 
I think what DF meant was that infertility is more common today 1/6 couples will experince this issue. Having been around many inferitle couples it is heart breaking to watch peopl find out they can never conceive becasue they waited too long. Do I think that means people who arent ready should have kids, hell no. But those who want them and wait do find that they cant have them. Some adopt, others dont, some are able to get pregant via IVF. But for those who have wanted a child and couldnt not have one there is a deep and long lasting pain which I think ought to be respected.
 
Date: 7/7/2005 10:27:35 PM
Author: Matatora
I think what DF meant was that infertility is more common today 1/6 couples will experince this issue. Having been around many inferitle couples it is heart breaking to watch peopl find out they can never conceive becasue they waited too long. Do I think that means people who arent ready should have kids, hell no. But those who want them and wait do find that they cant have them. Some adopt, others dont, some are able to get pregant via IVF. But for those who have wanted a child and couldnt not have one there is a deep and long lasting pain which I think ought to be respected.
Click to expand...
Agreed, Matatora.
1.gif
And I just like to give DF a hard time like his daughters do.
2.gif
9.gif


I read an article several years ago in a women's magazine about how horrible the world was that women can't have it all and women in their 40s couldn't get pregnant, etc. and so on, and this was just awful... Well, it's BIOLOGY. It's the FACT of women's bodies. It unfortunate that everything can't always be perfect for everybody but a lot of women are finding out the hard way that waiting can carry a very high price. Then again, some women have issues regardless. It's horrible and I can't imagine what it feels like not having walked in those shoe,s but if we learn anything from the anguish of these women, it should be to think about it early and at least recognize the potential limitations of our bodies. But I still think it is dangerous and ill advised to have a baby now because you *might* want one later but are afraid it'll be too late. Many women I've known take the tone of that article, like it's a big shock anmd how could this be.... Well, it's our bodies' basic functions, our genetics and time...all things that we have little control over in the most fundamental way.

Everytime my husband and I do our "check" on the baby thing, I remind him that there are NO guarantees and if we change our minds 10 years from now, we could really be out of luck. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. And next time I bump into God, I'll scold him for making our egg supplies so "finite."
2.gif
 
Date: 7/7/2005 10:13:49 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

your pets won't be able to drive you to the doctors or run earrends for you.
Click to expand...
There's no guarantee that if you have a child it will either. Part of the uncertainty of raising children.

At least I know my dog won't get pregnant by the neighbor's dog.
9.gif
 
Date: 7/7/2005 10:45:29 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 7/7/2005 10:13:49 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

your pets won''t be able to drive you to the doctors or run earrends for you.
Click to expand...
There''s no guarantee that if you have a child it will either. Part of the uncertainty of raising children.

At least I know my dog won''t get pregnant by the neighbor''s dog.
9.gif
Click to expand...
ROTF

Seriously, some kids are NOT family oriented and will move 3,000 miles away, leave you to fend for yourself and when you start wetting your pants, stick you in a HOME.
6.gif
32.gif


Nature or nurture? who knows?
9.gif
 
Date: 7/7/2005 10:18:17 PM
Author: Jennifer5973

Date: 7/7/2005 10:13:49 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i think for couples that don''t have childrens or grand childrens, will find out later on in life if they regret it or not .your pets won''t be able to drive you to the doctors or run earrends for you.

my guess is that 65% of the memebers here don''t have children at this time. looks like 90% of the memebers have dogs or cats as pets.

P.S. i have nothing against pets or couples that don''t have kids,i known couples regret it when it''s too late.
Click to expand...
Yeah and a giant meteor might blow us all us in 6 mos.(so buy more diamonds NOW). Seriously, these are issues to be considered deeply and meaningfully by people making this choice...there are no guarantees but having a child just so someone can change your diaper when your 90 is NOT a good reason in my book to make that decision now.
Click to expand...
Jenn
35.gif

well.....when the time comes, i hope to catch some of your flying diamonds.
9.gif
 
I found this on another forum... thought it was appropriate here!

KIDS
 
11.gif
Bah, here are the good parts:



"i don''t really like kids... i don''t see the purpose of having one, and i don''t think i''ll benefit greatly from having children as many like to say...

''they''ll take care of you when you''re old''... umm no.. my retirement savings will


''they''re the greatest joy in the world''... i think i can manage finding other forms of joy in this world


''they bring so much pleasure to your life'' ... if that means spending a good chunk of your money on bratty, ungrateful, rebellious little humans... i can pass and buy myself a pretty car, build an indoor pool, retire early and get a few horses my ranch...


''you don''t want to be alone if your spouse goes first'' ... then what are those convalescent homes for if kids are doing such a great job taking care of their parents.


i think peopl who already have kids are telling people without kids to have them so they too can suffer :p"
 
Date: 7/7/2005 11:10:07 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I found this on another forum... thought it was appropriate here!

KIDS
Click to expand...
That''s funny...and a whole other issue--people asking you when you are having kids.
20.gif
I say now (after almost 9 years of marriage) "When you start learning to mind your own damn business."
 
More:

"it goes bothways for people with or without kids. one way isn''t better than the other as far as living a full life. but one way is definately easier, less stressful and less commitment.
talk about commitment..
people get so scared when they hear the bit M word.... ''gee i don''t know if i love her enough, i don''t know if she''s the one i want to spend the rest of my life with... gosh what if we fall out of love. marriage is SUCH a big commitment. it''s forever you know...''

yet with kids it''s like, ''ya we''re ready to have a few, or we''re thinking of a second one, maybe a third...''


but you know having kids is less predictable than marrying. with marriage at least you get to pick and choose and date them for years before you finally decide to get married. and they are adults! kids. you get what comes out. you have to raise them and worry about them from they day They were born to the day YOU die. you can''t even divorce them when things go bad. in many instances you''re to blame for their bad behavior.


''maybe if you taught them better they wouldn''t do such and such. maybe if you showed them more displine, maybe if you hadn''t spoiled him... etc''


if you go to a party and your husband''s a jerk, people just feel sorry for you. if your kids are brats running around pushing other kids, people assume you''re a bad parent, like you did something wrong.


why would anyone want something that you can''t control (b/c kids are individuals) but yet are seen as a reflection on you. "



 
Our families waited less than a year to start asking....when Greg's dad and stepmom visited earlier this year we all went out to a fab dinner and after a bottle or three of wine...his dad started waxing poetic re: kids and grandkids and when were we going to have such a blessed event...such a shock because his dad doesn't seem that sentimental at all but apparently they are both dying for a grandkid. We told them we had a child, she has 4 legs and fur. Oh let me tell you, it was a full hour of fun...esp after all the wine that had been consumed...hehee.
9.gif
 
Date: 7/7/2005 10:40:35 PM
Author: Jennifer5973

Date: 7/7/2005 10:27:35 PM
Author: Matatora
I think what DF meant was that infertility is more common today 1/6 couples will experince this issue. Having been around many inferitle couples it is heart breaking to watch peopl find out they can never conceive becasue they waited too long. Do I think that means people who arent ready should have kids, hell no. But those who want them and wait do find that they cant have them. Some adopt, others dont, some are able to get pregant via IVF. But for those who have wanted a child and couldnt not have one there is a deep and long lasting pain which I think ought to be respected.
Click to expand...

Everytime my husband and I do our ''check'' on the baby thing, I remind him that there are NO guarantees and if we change our minds 10 years from now, we could really be out of luck. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. And next time I bump into God, I''ll scold him for making our egg supplies so ''finite.''
2.gif
Click to expand...
is not always the women fault. men can run low on ammos as they get older, or in worst case,shoot blanks.
 
Mens sperm actually denatures as they get older.
 
Date: 7/7/2005 11:35:37 PM
Author: Matatora
Mens sperm actually denatures as they get older.
Click to expand...
14.gif
 
Sorry...I get my head stuck in text books...there was a better way to put that I am sure. Sorry.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top