Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[Jas12]

MrsS--I already told DH he will be getting snipped--no ifs, ands or buts about it. Even then you have to be careful for a while, My co-teacher just had it done last week (said it was pretty painless and took all of 7 minutes!) and he was mentioning that he ''must'' use protection for at least 3 months b/c that''s how long it takes for a cycle of sperm to exit the Vas.
I have the ''beach-ball'' syndrome as well--and isn''t it strange how 6 or 7 weeks can feel soooooo very long and so very close at the same time !?! I hit 33 weeks today so I am so very happy to cross another one off the calendar!

Tgal--i am going to ''talk down'' an eviction notice as well--teehee, you are too cute.
DH is not taking a formal paternity leave or anything (not too many men do for some reason) since he works for himself he is going to take a few weeks off.
Maybe with a new prez the US will adopt some family-friendly policy. I think it is so wrong that women have to time their pregnancy around health insurance etc. Isn''t Hilary campaigning for universal health care?--that would be huge!

 

[divergrrl]

Good news...AF decided to arrive, sort of. Its weird. I saved my FMU & I''m going to buy some tests anyway (moral of this story? Keep those stocked in your pantry too, since with small kiddos you can''t run out in the middle of the night...lol) just in case I get a positive & its one of those chemical pregnancy thingies. (not even sure what that is...but my risk of having an ectopic is high too & I''ve been all sorts of weird spotty for like 4 days...kind of like my miscarriages began).

I''d have died if I were pregnant. Not because I am necessarily opposed to more children, but its too close to Delaney. I was looking at her in her bassinet last night, holding back tears, thinking I''d be cheating her out of so much. Just when Jake is prepping to go off to preschool next fall--giving her & me some much needed "girl" time alone, I''d be giving birth. Plus, we really don''t have a 4th bedroom--its an office in my BASEMENT with a bed, but has a door in it that opens to the backyard. Jakes is twice the size of Delaney''s so whatever duplicate gender I''d have would have to share that room. So if it was another girl, Jake would be screwed out of his totally awesome "boy" room, that’s super big & his "big brother" privilege.

Funny where your mind goes.

 

[qtiekiki]

Divergrrl - glad everything works out after the BIG scare.

Tgal - thanks for the info. I looked on the EED website before and the whole thing is still a little bit confusing to me. I wouldn''t be able to get disability pay though since I am not covered under SDI, so I am just stuck with my vacation & sick leave for pay.

I finally told my boss yesterday that I am pregnant. He took it pretty well and seems happy for me. I was really worried about telling him. I don''t know why because he is pretty laid back and we chit-chat about lots of thing including video games. I guess I just feel weird telling people I am pregnant in person.

I also found out my SIL is 10wks (with #2) and DH''s cousin is 15wks (with twins) pregnant. We are going to have a lot of new babies.

 

[lili]

TGal--
18 weeks is a good amount of time to take off.
I'm tentatively set for 16 weeks, but I haven't told my supervisor when exactly I'll be taking off.
Base on the info that your friend posted regarding the disability, I probably should take an advantage of the 4 weeks
that we get paid before delivery due to SDI.

Wow, can't believe you peruse through so much info on baby stuff.
You are a true researcher. I'll definitely need to pick your brains for some items.

Anyway, too funny about the eviction. Think I'll be having a talk with my little tenant tonight too.
She's wrecking the place as I type -- leaky water pipes, funny odor and gas, excessive partying at night

Jas12--
Wow about the maternity leave! That's right, I forgot that people in Canada are really well taken care of.
It must be nice not to have to worry about child care and stuff and get to spend that much more time at time

We are going to play it by ear to see how many days DH will stay home depending on how my L&D is.
He's going to be taking at 3 days for sure.
Since he's a contractor, he won't get his full pay from the state disability.

Diver--
Glad everything is ok after a big scare like that.
I'd be sad for D as well if you were.

MrsS--
It's funny how you can get so many different comments about the same belly.
Some people will think that you are huge and you may be teeny to others.

Q--
I thought all CA employees paid into the SDI, so you should be qualified for the benefit, no?
Oh, unless you are a government worker?

Oh wow, how exciting that you are expecting so many babies in the family.
Your baby will have so many playmates.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/5/2008 1:56:15 PM
Author: lili
.

Anyway, too funny about the eviction. Think I''ll be having a talk with my little tenant tonight too.
She''s wrecking the place as I type -- leaky water pipes, funny odor and gas, excessive partying at night

Hahahaha!!!

Diver, phew! I''m glad I didn''t see that last night, or else I might have been pretty sleepless on your behalf!

But it brings up a point for some of us first time moms that I have been thinking about...especially because of my age. Now that I am near the end of my pregnancy, I am thinking...maybe it would be best to try to go for a second very quickly. My body''s all flabby anyway....do I want to get back into shape only to go through this again? Do I want to finally see the downhill slope when it comes to the baby, only to climb back up the hill again? And do I want to be close to a 40 year old mom for my next baby? I''m just wondering if I should do what happened with this one...throw it all out there and see what happens...and if it DOES happen, roll with it!

MrsS, husbands should have their tongues cut out when we get the BFP, I swear. Men can be such dodos.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Diver, OMG!!!! So glad AF showed up!

TGal, good luck with that eviction notice! Sometimes they are stubborn. I still can''t believe she was a week late

 

[mrssalvo]

Diver, i''m happy for you that you are happy

tgal, if you are thinking about a second, i''d say go sooner rather than later. you are right about your age being a factor that I''d heavily consider if it were me. My girls are 19 months apart, so my oldest was almost 1 when I got preggo with the second and I seriously love it now. they played make believe fairy''s on sunday for like 4 hours, no fighting just a ton of sister play. because they are close in age they have the same interests, will watch the same movies etc... I will say that many times you''ll just know when you''re ready. you''re really not supposed to breastfeed when your preggo so depending how long you plan to nurse that might help your timetable as to when to throw caution to wind and try for baby #2. my second pregnancy also just flew by b/c i was so busy with my first, which i must admit as this one''s drags ever so slowly was nice...

 

[curlygirl]

Ok, I really need to find more time so I can properly comment on everyone''s posts but I''ve been up to my neck in poop and puke for the past few days! Lily caught a stomach bug at daycare and we had a pretty rough weekend, especially since I got a mild case of what she had (although I thought it was the start of really bad m/s) but fortunately she''s on the mend now and I only have a teeny bit of nausea that is bearable at this point.

Diver, you know I was secretly hoping you were pg so we could go through this craziness together again!

But for your sake, I''m glad that you''re not and I''m sorry you had a scare. Damn hormones.

TGal, once you hand TTot the eviction notice, get on board the 2 under 2 train! I''m finally beginning to wrap my brain around this whole thing and when DH and I talk about it, we realize it''s probably good for us to "get it over with" quickly! At least it won''t be like starting all over again since Lily will still be in diapers when #2 arrives and she may not really be too sure of what''s going on so she hopefully won''t get too jealous. And I''ll be done with all my babyhaving at 37 and won''t have to worry about my eggs getting "too old". I know you don''t even have the first one but you know I''m going to encourage you to have the 2nd one right away!

So many of you are getting so close now. I''m super excited for everyone. Hope everyone is feeling great!

 

[lili]

Date: 2/5/2008 3:52:20 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
TGal, good luck with that eviction notice! Sometimes they are stubborn. I still can''t believe she was a week late

She''d probably stay in longer if the doctor didn''t induce huh?
I''m hoping that I can be like MrsS and go earlier.

 

[lili]

TGal--

Funny you should bring this up.
DH was saying the other day that we should try for baby#2 when this one is 6 months old

Easy for him to say since he didn''t carry the baby for 9 months.
Though I like the idea of having them closer to age and being done with babyhaving earlier than later,
ideally I''d want them to be about 2 yrs apart.
That way, it''ll give my body some time to recuperate. I doubt I would be myself in 6 months.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 2/5/2008 7:01:51 PM
Author: lili

Date: 2/5/2008 3:52:20 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

TGal, good luck with that eviction notice! Sometimes they are stubborn. I still can''t believe she was a week late

She''d probably stay in longer if the doctor didn''t induce huh?

I''m hoping that I can be like MrsS and go earlier.

I''d probably STILL be pregnant

I met one of my neighbors today with a 7 week old girl and she was 9 days late (also induced) so it COULD have been worse. Luckily I have a nice doc. How funny I REALLY thought I would go early too.

TGal, I must be the odd man out b/c I want my kids 3 years apart. We''ll probably try again the Jan. after Tessa turns 2. I just really want to get to know and spend time with her before I add another one into the mix. Plus more than one in diapers doesn''t sound too much fun. Also we talked about paying for our kids undergrad degrees so it would be helpful if they were spaced out a bit. DH and SIL are 3 years. My sister is 3.5 years older, brother 6 years younger...I guess it is what we are used to. Plus I am still in my late 20s.

Ella, if you are around, I FINALLY met my neighbor that just had twin boys. One stayed in the hospital for a week, the other two weeks. I guess one has a fast heartbeat so he has to see a specialist (OH, and they have a 3 year old). She said she didn''t like her snap n'' go and was looking for another stroller. I think it is so cute b/c Tessa can have crushes on them and play with them (I guess she could hate them too). Plus there is another little baby in another court named Finley (who is twice the size of little Tessa and only 7 weeks). There are lots of other little kid in the neighborhood and I wouldn''t be surprise if there are new babies but I love that the four of them were all born within a few month of each other.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

So something fisher said in her thread made me think about maternal instinct. So I might get totally blasted for this (but I KNOW I am not the only one and figured I would post this b/c it might help a new mom) but I did not totally fall in love with her right away. Honestly. Maybe b/c I was overwhelmed, in shock, maybe b/c she was rushed off so fast, maybe b/c I was tired, in pain, baby blues....who knows. DH did though. Love at first sight. It took me a few days (not that I hated her but that maternal feeling wasn''t instant). She felt like a stranger. Now I love her more than anything in the world. Ok, now I feel like a bad mom....

 

[Jas12]

Diver, your sigh of relief could be heard over here in Canada


Funny, i was thinking about having babies close together as well--I love being close in age to my sister--like MsS''s girls, we are the best of friends, and like Tgal says, may as well be flabby all at once instead of Fit->Flab-> Fit->Flab-> ?
I can''t really stomach the being preggo part again right now, since i am SO anxious to get this over with--but maybe when that fog hormone kicks in and I forget about all the ickiness I''ll quickly change my mind.
Lili-you bring up a good point about your body being ready. A friend of mine had her kiddies back to back and she was really physically beat. Her Dr. said all her mineral/vitamin levels were way down and she ended up having to leave work for a few weeks to rest and get healthy. I think in What to Expect When You''re Expecting it talks about this-if I remember correctly it takes a while (i think over a year) for your body to replenish all that is sucked out of it by the little beans.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Yes Jas, medically they suggest you wait a min. of 1 year for your body to recover and replenish.

 

[Jas12]

Tacori--the ''not falling in love right away'' feeling is more common than I think most women will admit too!
I had a professor in universtity who admitted, during a lecture on childbirth, that she didn''t feel love for her son for many weeks. She physically cared for him, but didn''t bond and was terrified she never would. I remember thinking about how brave she was for telling a lecture hall of over 500 psych students something so personal--but i bet every woman remembers that story. Of course you are not a bad mom, you are an amazing mom for being so honest and devoted during the first stressful days.
I often think about what my reaction to having a boy will/could be. Not b/c I don''t want a son, but b/c I have NEVER pictured myself with a boy--ever. It will/would be weird to suddenly have one. I am sure the bonding would be a bit different.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thanks Jas. I think it is more common then people think too. I had such a rough recovery that I guess I needed to focus on me. DH didn''t understand. I always thought I would fall in love at first sight....but alas my life isn''t a movie. The important thing is NOW she''s the love of my life. I feel honored to be able to raise her.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Oh, Charger requested updated pics (hope you are lurking).

Here she is at 12 weeks.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Look how silly hats look on her....but it was cold out.

 

[TravelingGal]

Aw! Tessa is SO cute! I LOVE that first pic of her!!!

Yup ladies...lots to mull over. But I do like to see kids who are close to the same age...it''s so cute!

Tacori, I think what you went through is very common. Right now, I feel in love with this kid. But I am a bit nervous that when she comes tearin'' outta me, I won''t be so loving. Hee. It''s great that your DH felt love at first sight...I don''t think all men feel that way.

I''m cramping a little. Wonder if this is Braxton Hicks.

 

[TravelingGal]

OK, so this kid is off the rails in here. I was reading up a bit and apparently the fetus moves a lot between 27-32 weeks...then it starts getting too cramped in there.

Then I found the pic below. Does this scare anyone? Jas, I don''t know about you...but I don''t think my belly can handle getting bigger to accommodate that much of a change!

 

[qtiekiki]

Tacori - I think it''s pretty common how you felt because I heard it a few times before. It''s probably too much emotions and lack of energy involved. The first pic of Tessa is too adorable.

lili - I am a government worker, so I don''t pay into SDI. I had from previous jobs, but I don''t think it means anything.

I want kids kind of close in age too. My sisters and I are two years apart (I''m the middle child), and we are so close. I can''t see it any other way.

I decided to attach the belly pic I took today. I feel so big already; right now I feel fat not pregnant. hehe.

 

[zhuzhu]

Date: 2/5/2008 10:41:59 PM
Author: qtiekiki
Tacori - I think it''s pretty common how you felt because I heard it a few times before. It''s probably too much emotions and lack of energy involved. The first pic of Tessa is too adorable.


lili - I am a government worker, so I don''t pay into SDI. I had from previous jobs, but I don''t think it means anything.


I want kids kind of close in age too. My sisters and I are two years apart (I''m the middle child), and we are so close. I can''t see it any other way.


I decided to attach the belly pic I took today. I feel so big already; right now I feel fat not pregnant. hehe.

Qtiekiki!!!!
Oh my goodness i was wondering where you have been!!!! Here you are looking RADIANT with your baby!!! Congratulations for the pregnancy and I am sorry I did not think of looking you up sooner!!! Time has flew hasn''t it? Since we last chatted on BWW I have dumped my loser ex-fiance, received my degree, got a job in San Diego, met the true prince for me and got engaged for the real thing! I am so glad you look and feel so great!!!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

TGal, it is amazing how you WILL be able to fit a 40 week (or 41 week like me

) baby. You might not be comfortable but the baby will be able to grow until it is ready to make its debut. Tessa is discovering her mouth (and all things that go with it) so I thought it was fitting. Her new favorite activity is sucking on her top lip and trying to fit BOTH fists into her mouth. Doesn''t quite work but keeps her busy.

DH was just so adoring it''s good one of us was. He took good care of her when we were in the hospital. She''s daddy''s little girl.

Q, you are TINY. TEENY TINY. I can''t believe they gave you a weight warning! Shame on them. Like I said before she just felt like a stranger. It was an odd feeling not the rush of love like I was expecting. When I was nursing her at 5am I saw the start of "Tyra" and they had women with severe PPD. These women has thoughts of hurting their babies and hated them. So scary! So I consider my delayed mommy feelings as getting off lightly. I wonder how I''ll feel with the second. Probably more excited since I know what (s)he''ll become.

Tomorrow is the big day. T''s first flight

Not sure how much computer access I''ll have but I''ll be thinking of you lovely ladies.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I had read about the lack of instant "attachment", so I kind of was expecting it. However, I had the instantaneous love thing with my little man. He was born, and I insisted upon immediate skin on skin contact in our birth plan, so he was on my chest, and I remember calling him my little prince and just falling head over heels. And it has never stopped....

Divergrrl - thank goodness!!! I was reading the thread, and I had to get to your next post to find out the news!

Tacori - good luck on the flight! You will be fine, I''m sure of it.

Q - pisses me off even more about the weight thing. As I alluded to earlier in a thread, I had bigger gain weeks than others, and only gained 25 pounds. In fact, my weight problem came after giving birth, when my weight just kind of fell off. Now they want me to gain weight!!! Can they choose already!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

*snort*

Qtiekiki, please tell your doc to stop ODing on all those free drug samples he gets. I was bigger than that before we conceived.

Tacori, I know...TGuy said tonight I''m not even "that" big, and that I will be fine. But I need a new bra. I''m busting out of this thing. It''s awful.

Have a safe flight tomorrow...let us know how it goes!

Litchick, your baby''s a cutie, that''s for sure!

 

[qtiekiki]

zhuzhu - Thank you. I was wondering where you were because I just stopped seeing you in BWW. I am so glad everything is going great for you. You are one strong woman, moving out to SD for your ex-fiance and having the courage to leave him. I applaud you. How''s wedding planning coming along?

Tacori, LC, Tgal - you girls sure know how to make a girl feel better. I''ll have to knock my dr in head the next time. hehe. The whole weight thing is just so confusing.

 

[TravelingGal]

Qtiekiki, I don''t mean to totally negate what your doc is saying. Too much weight gain IS something to be concerned about and isn''t healthy for you or the baby. But considering how slim you are, I''m just not sure what your doc is saying that for at this point in the game.

Out of curiosity, is the doc and his office staff asian? Because we asians have been known to make lame-a$$ insensitive comments.

 

[divergrrl]

Qtiekiki: You are so thin! I swear, I''ve eaten burritos bigger than your bump! LOL. Seriously, you look beautiful & what a cute little bump!

Jas: You heard that sigh? LOL.

Thanks for listening to me last night ladies...what a scare. If I weren''t so freakin'' fertile & if my girlfriend hadn''t had the same thing happen, I''d be less worried. shoot. Oh well..movin'' on.

Tgal/kiddo spacing: Well, this is just me, but if you are planning it, I don''t think its a good idea to stick them close together. I LOVE my span...just under 3 years. As for the body thing, I got back in shape (not all the way, but one size larger) and then didn''t gain as much the 2nd time & no more damage was done. Just my experience.

Here''s another reason I like a wider spacing...Jake is very independent and can do many things for himself, as well as being a helpful brother. His latest thing is, he has to HOLD onto the car seat carrier handle with me when we carry Delaney around. "I help you mama".

He waits much easier for me to finish feeding/changing/caring for his sister than a little toddler would.

And, (curlygirl..don''t read this...LOL) I thought that the HARDEST time was after Jake learned how to walk when he turned 1. For 6 months (or longer) you never sit down because they are always into everything (newfound freedom is a HUGE novelty) and they are constantly falling into crap & knocking their heads on what seems like everything. Once he turned about 21 months, it finally calmed down & I could relax some. I could NOT imagine having an infant and a toddler who has just found his or her feet.

When Jake was 13 to 21 months, I swore I would NEVER have another child, I was so tired. By the time he was 2 I was pregnant again.

And while no "study" fits all families (I mean, some people LOVE having kids close together & what I consider problems, they don''t) most of the child development studies indicate that a 2.5 to 3 year spacing is optimal. Gives the first child a chance to be confidently established in the family unit, but not so much that they can''t take the addition of a sibling. But again, take that with a grain of salt.

I did read 18 months for maternal post partum recovery is optimal as well. Again...salt...rim margarita glass with it.

The best time to have another child is when you want to. I just never wanted to "get it over with" in regards to the baby phase. I''d have spaced my kids another year or two farther apart if DH has bought it. I wanted Jake in school before I got to have another delicious baby. But then I''m a baby-addict. It goes too fast & depresses the hell out of me. I love newborns, infants, babies..those chubby little thighs, the totally dependent state, long sleepy naps with a warm little chub-a-lub in your arms, a totally slow paced version/vacation from real life. Pure Bliss to me. I wouldn''t want that stacked on another child, so I liked having Jake grow into a young toddler/boy (which is so much fun in another way) so that getting to raise a baby feels novel & new again. For me, I knew I wouldn''t be able to savor the early years if I was spread too thin. But truly there is no wrong way...just your way.

And if age is the only reason? Don''t rush it. I was 37 when D was born...she was fine. She''ll keep me young and hip. Ok, I''m sure she''ll roll her eyes at the hip comment as soon as she learns how. LOL.

TESSA! you are a beautiful baby!! Wow! Delaney is jealous of your hair, she''s still sorta baldy. I love that hat pic, she is so petite and adorable. D could eat her.

Speaking of, Delaney grabbed my WW pizza from me at lunch and stuck it in her mouth & started gnawing. piggie! So I made her a bowl of rice cereal and she lost her mind. Loved it. Would shake her fists by her face & holler everytime I brought the spoon to her mouth. She''s a flippin'' riot. Hungry baby for sure. My curvy girl.

Baby-bonding: funny you guys bring this up. Tyra Banks did a thing on PPD, and my dh was criticizing the moms for not bonding, for all the horrible things they felt. I think he only has my experience to gauge things by, so naturally, he looked pretty surprised when I ripped him a new one. I can''t stand it when people romanticize real life. Sure, some people have an immediate bond, others take awhile to build. It doesn''t matter how you get there as long as you get there. And shoot...I can''t imagine how it is with a baby that doesn''t sleep. DH has NO idea how good we have it. Its friggin'' easy to be chipper when you are sleeping all night. I always wish lots of sleep on my mommy friends. Anyhoo, my PSA for all the close to delivery moms....

80% of women experience Baby Blues which usually clears up in a few weeks.
10-20% develop into full blown post partum depression. None of this is your fault, and get thyself to thy doctor asap. Reach out to family members. Educated your husbands/parents/close friends beforehand what PPD is, so they can have your back should you ever have the misfortune to experience it.

Baby blues is just weird crying & an emotional roller coaster, but you don''t feel horrible about yourself or your child. If you feel desperate or sinking in despair, thinking horrible thoughts about the baby getting hurt, dying, etc...get help get help. Your doctor will not judge you.

I was getting all teary eyed for the women on that show. I just wanted to hug them all. I felt like they got cheated out of a very fleeting time that you can never get back. Even if its hard, they can''t even enjoy the nice moments during the calm.

So sad.

Ok..off to bed. Cramps, tired....headache. But I ate a nice big salad for dinner. Yum.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 2/6/2008 12:13:55 AM
Author: TravelingGal
Qtiekiki, I don''t mean to totally negate what your doc is saying. Too much weight gain IS something to be concerned about and isn''t healthy for you or the baby. But considering how slim you are, I''m just not sure what your doc is saying that for at this point in the game.

totally ditto this!!! Qtiekiki, you look tiny and I seriously can''t believe your dr. said something to you about your weight gain. My dr. has never said a word about mine and like I said, i was way ahead of you at your stage of the game. I actually asked my dr. during my last visit if I was gaining too much, too quickly b/c I was concerned..lol.

 

[msb700]

tacori: the first picture of tessa is just adorable..that just put a big smile on my face..shes gonna break some hearts when she grows up =D..good luck on ur trip!!!

i too am with u on the ''didnt fall madly in love at first site'' wagon...i didnt know wat to feel the first few days..i was so overwhelmed and beyond exhausted...however now just thinking of him can bring tears to my eyes coz i love him so much

Q: you are itsy bitsy tiny little thing!!!! i had a bump bigger than that pre-pregnancy!!!

Diver: glad the results came out the way u wanted..

curly: hope lily is doing better!!