Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[Independent Gal]

Date: 8/12/2008 3:58:01 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1

I have the Ergo baby carrier and it is fabulous if your kid doesn''t achieve the 90% in weight at the first visit like mine.

...
I had an organic sling initially but Olivia kept sliding down into a little ball and it hurt my shoulder.


I''m amazed I have been able to sit upright all morning to type

Poor sleepy Lisa! OK, so maybe I should have asked for advice before we ordered our hotslings! Yikes! Well, they are returnable up to 30 days after the baby is born. So, we''ll try it and send ''em back if they don''t work for us.

T''Gal, you love the Ergo too? I''ll check it out!

Jen, that is JUST SO MEAN!! I don''t know why someone would say that to you. Maybe they want to say "something" and that''s just what comes out. I spouted a lot of dumb advice to a junior colleague today. WEll, it was good advice, but I don''t think she wanted to hear it, you know what I mean? Or at least not from me. Sometimes, people (like me!) say dumb things.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/12/2008 3:46:41 PM
Author: Independent Gal
So, I''m feeling REALLY emotional the last couple of days. I just feel so angry, and then I have 30 seconds of ''Why meeee? Why do I have to worry about labouring still born babies AND about a high chance of birth defects AND about my mom dying AND about how I won''t be able to fly to see her if she needs me AND about how I''m going to find another job when I can''t travel to interviews AND about the fact that I can''t stay in in the country if I''m not working but DH loses his green card if we leave AND about moving 3 times in the next few months AND feel miserably pregnant all at ONCE!??! WHY MEEEE!'' Talk about self-absorbed pregnoid! Then I get a grip and tell myself to chill out and be positive, which usually works. But then I feel so sad about my mom, and then excited about having kids, and then TOTALLY exhausted, then frustrated with DH about some stupid packing thing, then sad again. I feel like I''m on a roller-coaster!

Would a tiny shred of stability and certainty be too much to ask? At least I have DH. I am so thankful for him.

And now I have to call a man about a job. I don''t think I''m up to this! Help me ladies!

Plus, someone at work noticed I was pregnoid today (Amber''s term? Lovin'' it). I felt embarrassed for some reason. I guess I''m just feeling really sensitive and if I let go of enforced cheerful optimism for a minute, then the whole big mess kind of washes over me and I get kind of upset. So, back to the enforced cheerful optimism!

People have got through MUCH, much worse. I can do this. And do it cheerfully too if I put my mind to it.

IG, you''re allowed at LEAST another 15 seconds on top of the 30.

But do try and stay positive, as I can''t imagine stress is good for anyone. I didn''t have to deal with as much as you are, but I did have to deal with my dad dying while I was pregnant (and he did finally pass away nearly 3 months after Amelia was born) and I tried to be happy as much as possible. (Come to think of it, I don''t think I ever mentioned it on PS while I was pregnant). Now, if it were my mom who was sick, I would have probably been a much bigger wreck.

Hang in there.

 

[sk8rjen]

Janine -- only 7 weeks? Time''s flying! I love how much we get done in nesting mode

Dreamer -- so glad to hear your m/s is better!

Pave -- yay for baby kicks! re: nursery color -- face it, it''s more for us than the babies at this stage... we chose to keep our nusery turquoise despite having 2 girls b/c it was the only room we painted before we moved in and i love the color (it was being used as a playroom) -- we have found girly stuff that coordinates really well and I am so glad we kept it. fwiw.

Blen -- enjoy vegas!

Kay -- loved the pic!

Q -- Meena''s latest pic is adorable

jen

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 8/12/2008 3:58:01 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1
Indy - Why are you worried about birthing stillborns? Or birthdefects? Oh yeah right you're pregnant!!! And whoremonal!!!!

True true! I'm worried about stillborns because if it's mono/di twins (and I'm still hoping these are OLD stats) there's a 1 in 4 chance that I WILL have to labour stillborns and about birth defects because there's a 1 in 10 chance of that if they live. I waiver between ridiculous optimism and moments of 'O.M.G.! Why is this happening to us!!!" and it seems just unreal that it could, even though it's actually not at all unlikely. But then I remind myself that, it ISN'T happening to us YET. And it still likely won't. So then I try to chill out.

No point borrowing troubles and thinking about 'might' 'could' and suchlike. Know what I mean? One thing at a time. One thing at a time. It's just really hard to avoid slipping backward here and there.

But I'm trying! Yes yes I am!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/12/2008 4:10:45 PM
Author: Independent Gal

Date: 8/12/2008 3:58:01 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1

I have the Ergo baby carrier and it is fabulous if your kid doesn''t achieve the 90% in weight at the first visit like mine.

...
I had an organic sling initially but Olivia kept sliding down into a little ball and it hurt my shoulder.


I''m amazed I have been able to sit upright all morning to type

Poor sleepy Lisa! OK, so maybe I should have asked for advice before we ordered our hotslings! Yikes! Well, they are returnable up to 30 days after the baby is born. So, we''ll try it and send ''em back if they don''t work for us.

T''Gal, you love the Ergo too? I''ll check it out!

Jen, that is JUST SO MEAN!! I don''t know why someone would say that to you. Maybe they want to say ''something'' and that''s just what comes out. I spouted a lot of dumb advice to a junior colleague today. WEll, it was good advice, but I don''t think she wanted to hear it, you know what I mean? Or at least not from me. Sometimes, people (like me!) say dumb things.

I do love it, but I recently found out about some shady business practices so I am not sure if I would have supported the knowing it. However, I received it as a gift.

 

[sk8rjen]

Indy -- I''m sorry you are having to deal with so much over-and-above being pregnant! I have had so many moments of feeling overwhelmed during this pregnancy and that''s normal and difficult in itself, so I just can''t imagine the extra stress you must feel at times. I know it doesn''t make eveything go away, but I hope you can enjoy the happy or stress free moments! And I bet you wouldn''t be a big dumb meanie like those people were to me

Plus I think you are right -- people feel like they *have* to comment -- maybe they think they are funny? Or the first person to observe that I''m a bit bigger than a hippo right now? I dunno...

Lisa -- sorry to hear about the rash! no fun!

jen

 

[TravelingGal]

lisa, those rashes sound awful. Here''s to hoping you''ve been through enough and this one is easy peasy!

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks TG. I'm hanging in. I know I'm being a big baby publicly whining on here.

Yes, I'm a little ashamed.

And really, 98% of the time, I'm actually in a pretty good mood and stress-free (at least on the surface). I've been working out every day, breathing deep whenever I start with the 'AAAARGH!' moments, and eating LOTS of smoothies and ice cream (instant cheer-up). My priority is to keep my body as physically calm as possible for the bebes!

Jen, someone said you were as big as a HIPPO!?!? Wow, I would have SOCKED her (him?). Maybe just run them over, like real hippos do. Poor you. You look fab-o in your picture, and it sounds like you're doing a great job of incubating those kidlets to nice healthy sizes! I hope I can do as good a job as you and Jas!

 

[snlee]

Thanks Lisa. Lately I've been feeling very optimistic about my pregnancy going full term.

Indy, you have a lot on your plate. Try not to worry so much about the twins though. All that worrying isn't good for you or the babies! Hang in there!

Jen, I hope your appointment goes well. My appointment is the same day. WTH is wrong with people? Those comments are so rude!

Baby carriers - we bought a Babybjorn Baby Carrier Synergy. We'll see how we like it. DH is really looking forward to using it.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/12/2008 4:26:43 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Thanks TG. I''m hanging in. I know I''m being a big baby publicly whining on here.

Yes, I''m a little ashamed.

And really, 98% of the time, I''m actually in a pretty good mood and stress-free (at least on the surface). I''ve been working out every day, breathing deep whenever I start with the ''AAAARGH!'' moments, and eating LOTS of smoothies and ice cream (instant cheer-up). My priority is to keep my body as physically calm as possible for the bebes!

Jen, someone said you were as big as a HIPPO!?!? Wow, I would have SOCKED her (him?). Maybe just run them over, like real hippos do. Poor you. You look fab-o in your picture, and it sounds like you''re doing a great job of incubating those kidlets to nice healthy sizes! I hope I can do as good a job as you and Jas!

I think it''s good to vent. I only mentioned that I didn''t bring up my dad on PS because writing stuff down about it made me sadder...I just had to brush the sadness away and focus on the pregnancy and positive things.

You''re not being a baby...that''s a lot of big life stuff to deal with all at once!

 

[qtiekiki]

Baby Carriers - I read about Ergo business practice when I was considering them, and decided not to buy from them. We ended up getting a Lascal M1 baby carrier for DH. I got the Parent of Inventions mei tai carrier as a shower gift, but I read that a mom was able to rip the strap from the body (kind of scary, so I think I am going to reinforce the sewing of the straps). I also got a traditional mei tai carrier from China when my mom's co-worker got for me when she visited there.

Indy - you are going through a lot, so feel free to vent. You need to let it out somewhere.

 

[erica k]

Jen, et al : Speaking of inappropriate, can''t help themselves comments, I couldn''t stop saying, ''Oh my God, you''re soooo BIG,'' to my friend when she was 35 weeks (2 weeks ago). She''s a tiny person, 4''10" or so, and all belly. I knew I shouldn''t keep saying that, but a part of it was driven by the fearful and awestruck realization that I, too, will have a sizable belly in 5 months. I agree that people feel like they need to comment. After all, a big bump is hard to ignore. I need to work on being less insensitive. Maybe I should stick to asking how they''re doing.

Indy, I think you''re allowed to be an emotional rollercoaster, especially since it sounds like you''re doing your best to stay calm in the face of things.

Snlee, crossing my fingers that things stay on the right track until you''re full term. There''s something so cute about seeing a teeny new baby in a Bjorn, although I hear they aren''t very comfortable once the baby starts packing on the pounds. I''ll be curious to hear how it works out for you and your husband.

TGal, I''ve heard some not-so-great things about Ergo''s business dealings, too, but at any rate, the summers here are so humid and gross that after your comments, I''m not sure I would get one anyway. Maybe it would work well as a winter carrier. I''m thinking of a stretchy wrap for the first few months, and then a sling or soft-structured carrier.

Lisa, just when I thought I''d heard it all. Poor you with that awful rash! I hope this time around is better.

I went to the OB this afternoon for my 12 wk checkup. He checked the heartbeat with the portable u/s machine, and everything looks fine. I asked if I should be concerned that I haven''t gained any weight (0.4 lbs, although the nurse didn''t even bother marking down the slight increase), and he said as long as the fetus is growing, it''s fine. I''ve been feeling a little bigger lately, so I was sure I had gained at least a pound or two. I also asked about my hair loss, and he said it isn''t normal but probably a result of something not pregnancy-related. Oh well, so much for answers

. I''m meeting with a doula in a few weeks, and then it''s Meet the Midwives Night at my new hospital and my first appointment with my new OB. I can''t believe summer is nearly over.

 

[sk8rjen]

Date: 8/12/2008 5:17:05 PM
Author: erica k
Jen, et al : Speaking of inappropriate, can't help themselves comments, I couldn't stop saying, 'Oh my God, you're soooo BIG,' to my friend when she was 35 weeks (2 weeks ago). She's a tiny person, 4'10' or so, and all belly. I knew I shouldn't keep saying that, but a part of it was driven by the fearful and awestruck realization that I, too, will have a sizable belly in 5 months. I agree that people feel like they need to comment. After all, a big bump is hard to ignore. I need to work on being less insensitive. Maybe I should stick to asking how they're doing.

Erika -- I don't think it's inappropriate to state the obvious (OMG you're HUGE!) to a friend who a) is a good enough friend to say that to and b) who can take it as it's meant and not as a derogatory statement To most preggos, i stick with asking how they are feeling and things of that nature -- usually i find that they mention feeling huge on their own

I really do think that the better you know someone, the more "ok" it is to comment on how the bump looks (nicely), you know? I take things differently from a friend than i do from a stranger...

Snlee -- I hope thursday is a good appt for you too!

Indy -- ok, sorry, my comment was a bit lost in translation on the board -- nobody has actually called me a hippo just yet

I just meant that i'd rather someone observe that i'm carrying a lot of baby around than tell me something as idiodic as "you're never gonna make it/you're gonna end up on bedrest/etc" KWIM? -- and thanks, btw!! I'm *proud* to be growing 2 healthy and large twins in here, as uncomfortable as it can be -- I'm hoping you and NF grow big babies too

jen

hahaha I just thought of one more -- someone at the rink did joke with me about having to widen the door to fit through to the hockey box that I teach from (all in fun though, and i agreed

)

 

[neatfreak]

Just a quick pop in about Lead Tests for Erica: Erica, the ones Consumer Reports liked the best for ease of use are:

Abotex: Lead Inspector Lead Test Kit

First Alert: Premium Lead Test Kit

Homax: Leadcheck 5250 (also the cheapest!)

SKC: Lead Check Instant 225-2404

They also note that some are smelly. The first two can't be used on dark paint, the second two CAN but not on red or pink. The second two also require "hand strength".

Hope that helps!

 

[erica k]

NF, thanks for checking on those lead tests. I think we''re going to have to do some testing this weekend. I talked to one of the condo trustees, and he said our incredibly old pipes will have to be replaced soon. Oh yippee, more special assessments! Hopefully I can test the water, too.

Jen, it''s true that it''s ok to say things like that to friends, but as I kept saying it to my friend, I thought I probably wouldn''t want to be on the receiving end. I''ve also read on other forums that some pregos hate being told that they look like they''re about to pop, which didn''t seem that offensive to me, but I can see how it might be annoying. I''m beginning to learn that we can be a pretty emotional group

. I keep telling my husband to cut me some slack instead of expecting me to be a rational person all the time.

 

[snlee]

I used to make comments like "wow, you''re getting big." I meant well and wasn''t trying to offend or annoy them. However, after being pregnant myself, I''ve learned the best comment is "you look great." No comments about size.

However, I know it''s hard to not make a comment about the obvious. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue. I agree it depends on who the comment is coming from. When my mom and cousin commented about how my arms got bigger and my husband said I''m big, I wasn''t offended. However, if it were an acquaintance saying that, I''d feel differently.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/12/2008 10:50:42 PM
Author: snlee
I used to make comments like ''wow, you''re getting big.'' I meant well and wasn''t trying to offend or annoy them. However, after being pregnant myself, I''ve learned the best comment is ''you look great.'' No comments about size.

However, I know it''s hard to not make a comment about the obvious. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue. I agree it depends on who the comment is coming from. When my mom and cousin commented about how my arms got bigger and my husband said I''m big, I wasn''t offended. However, if it were an acquaintance saying that, I''d feel differently.

As far as I''m concerned, "you look big" is never ok to say to a preggie! Ever! She''s hormonal...and while she may smile, I would bet that she''s flinching inside.

Obviously, as snlee said, being (or having been) preggies ourselves, we now know better!

 

[janinegirly]

speaking of snarky comments which might/might not intentionally be meant to be so--i posted a preggo picture of myself (which isn''t the easiest thing for me to do) and friend of mine wrote a comment "OMG U R SOOOOO HUGE!!!" for all to see. I didn''t appreciate that at all!

!

 

[Dreamer_D]

My friend thought I would be "interested" in reading this research finding at this point in my life. Not sure what she was thinking

, but I told her not to send me anymore "helpful" articles. It isn''t news to me, but I don''t want my face rubbed in it since I will be 6-8 months pregnant on the academic job market this year.

Hostile and benevolent reactions toward pregnant women: Complementary interpersonal
punishments and rewards that maintain traditional roles.
Author Hebl, Michelle R.1; King, Eden B.2; Glick, Peter3; Singletary, Sarah L.1;
Kazama, Stephanie1
Journal of Applied Psychology. Vol 92(6), Nov 2007, pp. 1499-1511
A naturalistic field study investigated behavior toward pregnant (vs. nonpregnant) women
in nontraditional (job applicant) and traditional (store customer) roles. Female
confederates, who sometimes wore a pregnancy prosthesis, posed as job applicants or
customers at retail stores. Store employees exhibited more hostile behavior (e.g.,
rudeness) toward pregnant (vs. nonpregnant) applicants and more benevolent behavior
(e.g., touching, overfriendliness) toward pregnant (vs. nonpregnant) customers. A second
experiment revealed that pregnant women are especially likely to encounter hostility
(from both men and women) when applying for masculine as compared with feminine jobs. The
combination of benevolence toward pregnant women in traditional roles and hostility
toward those who seek nontraditional roles suggests a system of complementary
interpersonal rewards and punishments that may discourage pregnant women from pursuing
work that violates gender norms.

 

[jas]

I have decided to make up little (or not-so-little) business cards to hand out: Please pass this along to any and all you encounter as you get pregnant. I am happy to print up little cards to make spreading the word easier...

What comes across when you tell me "OMG, you''re so big!"

Horror -- as in "OMG, I never thought a human body could reach such proportions...and I hope when I get pregnant I never look like that!"

Amusement -- as in "OMG, your Suessian shape is hysterical to those of us still capable of maintaining hygiene easily in that area. Have you seen yourself? Ewwww."

Curiosity -- as in "OMG, are you really supposed to look like that?"

Shame-inducement -- as in "OMG, you''re not really supposed to look like that!"

Betterment -- as in "Yeah, so glad I don''t look like that"

Look folks, I know I''m big. I''ve got a life-form inside my body. It resides in my ribs and occasionally kicks me in the hoo-ha. In addition to being big, I feel unattractive, I''m in tremendous discomfort, oftentimes in pain, my husband hasn''t come near me since well before vernal equinox because I have traded in the role of sex-goddess for the role of life-giver.

Still can''t keep yer trap shut? Here are some alternatives:

"How are you feeling?"
"You make pregnancy look good!"
"I can''t believe how tiny you look!" (If you cannot say that with a straight face, go for: "You''re all belly!")
"Can I get you some ice cream?"

 

[Independent Gal]

DD, that doesn''t even come as a tiny surprise to me. I think Erica''s situation is ample illustration. There is no doubt that being pregnant is considered a gross violation of professional norms in academia. I''m sure that''s extra true in the traditionally male dominated parts of academia. The discipline in which I did my Ph.D. has a gender balance of something like 4 to 1. All the successful women either had no kids, or had ONE kid after tenure, nearing 40. And what''s even more striking is that those who did have a child would never talk about it. It''s taboo. A sign of weakness.

I think hostility is an excellent word for the kind of situation academic women face if they choose to have a family. Nobody in academia expects their news to be met with joy from their colleagues.

I know I''ve ranted about this before, and p''ed all over your parade, but I think it''s just a reality that''s best faced. Pregnant = can''t do your job to your full potential = hostility.

 

[Independent Gal]

Jas, that's hilarious. And frankly? I bet each of those thoughts IS a part of it when someone says 'OMG you're huge!'

I personally hate when people ask how I'm feeling though. How do you think I'm feeling? I feel like crap. I feel bloated, fat, pimply, miserable, and sick. Soon I'll feel horribly uncomfortable. Glad you asked?

But I think "You're all belly!" would make me feel great! I mean, so long as I wasn't feeling insecure about not having put on enough weight to grow the cubs. I guess there's always something, eh?

 

[jas]

Hmm, maybe I should participate in that study. I''d offer to actually research/do the study, but I am not exactly impartial at this point and would jam my Dixon Ticonderoga in the eye of anyone who says something stupid.

Which, incidentally, is why I don''t have my PhD.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 8/13/2008 11:47:35 AM
Author: Independent Gal
DD, that doesn''t even come as a tiny surprise to me. I think Erica''s situation is ample illustration. There is no doubt that being pregnant is considered a gross violation of professional norms in academia. I''m sure that''s extra true in the traditionally male dominated parts of academia. The discipline in which I did my Ph.D. has a gender balance of something like 4 to 1. All the successful women either had no kids, or had ONE kid after tenure, nearing 40. And what''s even more striking is that those who did have a child would never talk about it. It''s taboo. A sign of weakness.

I think hostility is an excellent word for the kind of situation academic women face if they choose to have a family. Nobody in academia expects their news to be met with joy from their colleagues.

I know I''ve ranted about this before, and p''ed all over your parade, but I think it''s just a reality that''s best faced. Pregnant = can''t do your job to your full potential = hostility.

Indy, I know what the reality is out there. I have worked in my field for 8 years and picked up a little knowledge along the way. But I think that the sexism in my field is disgusting and immoral, akin to racism, and it needs to change, not me. I am very good at my job, and will continue to perform well even after *gasp* I procreate. I think of myself as being like the women who originally fought for the vote. Yes, I know there is hostility. But as long as we women keep acting like men and bowing to the pressure, then things will never change. I know this is an uphill battle that I cannot win at some institutions, and I am not naive or out to lunch. But for them to discriminate againts me on the job market they will have to overlook the fact that I have a publication record that puts me in the top 2% of job applicants in my field. This should cause them psychological distress at the least, trying to reconcile their decision, and I hope it makes them feel like sh&^ if they do discriminate. I am not applying to the US this year, exactly because of things like Erica''s situation. In Canada it is very different, for example, my government funded post-doc gives me 12 months (reduced) paid mat leave, and graduate scholarships also allow 12 months mat leave. I personally know a fee women who have been largely pregannt on the job market and were hired. Moroever, most departments have an expicit policy to hire more women and to have a gender balance in the faculty that equals the gender balance of the undergrads (in my field, that is 70% female). What can I saw, we are a more advanced society

(I keed I keed, don''t throw things at me).

My point is that my friend knows my feelings about this and my awareness of the issue and sent me this article for God knows what reason. In my mind this is the same as me sending my african-canadian friend an article about stereotypes against her race, and discrimination. For god''s sake, she knows about it, she lives with it every day! What is she supposed to do, change her skin color? For god''s sake, I know about these issues, I live with it every day and see it all the time! What am I supposed to do, leave me field, remain barren, or adopt when I am 45? No, I am sticking around and being a woman, which includes having kids.

Okay, stepping off my soapbox. I just expected more from my friend, thats all.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 8/13/2008 11:57:08 AM
Author: jas
Hmm, maybe I should participate in that study. I''d offer to actually research/do the study, but I am not exactly impartial at this point and would jam my Dixon Ticonderoga in the eye of anyone who says something stupid.

Which, incidentally, is why I don''t have my PhD.

I just may jam something in someones face, we''ll see how it goes!

 

[Independent Gal]

DD, I''m totally with you, girl! And I hope it didn''t sound like I was suggesting you were naive. More like venting and sharing your anger. I find it totally DISGUSTING. It makes me furious. It makes me even sicker and more pukey than HCG!

And I would be the LAST person to defend the US (and I''m not even American, btw

) in terms of family policy. It is in the dark ages, compared to nearly every other developed country in that respect. It''s like they do everything in their power to make it tougher for a woman like Erica.

I guess I''m just not feeling as brave as you. My CV rocks so hard that people call ME to offer me work (lately I can''t take it because of geographical complications with DH). But like this guy I was supposed to call back yesterday and couldn''t get up the nerve. I know that the second I say I''d have to come really soon for an interview because I won''t be able to travel much longer, it''s all over. I''ll never know that''s why. They may not even know. Many times people don''t even realize they are discriminating, you know? It just affects their perception overall.

Do I think women have anything remotely like equality? Absolutely not. Does it make me super angry? You bet it does. I guess I just feel more hopeless about it than you do.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Indy I think you are in a more male-dominated field than I am, which research shows is terrible for women''s well-being! It even undermines their performance because they are afraid (often implicitly and not on an explicit level) of failing and therefore confirming men''s negative stereotypes about their group (this process is called stereotype threat). I''m sure that stereotype threat is even worse when a woman is preggo because she fears confirming the stereotype that "mothers are incompetent." This causes axiety, fear, worry, distraction, and negative mood, all of which compromise job performance. FYI my friend recently published an article about this topic and found that if women think of the image of a red volkswagon every time they feel anxious about being a woman or performing, this thought-substitution technique can eliminate the underperformance-effect. So when you find yourself worrying about being pregnant and jobs, think of a red volkswagon

So I don''t know about being brave, but I know of a number of posiitve female role-models in my field who are very successful and that makes is seem possible and therefore not so unattainable I guess. One of the favourite stories in our field is how my university hired one of the most famous female academics when she was 8 months preggo. She died prematurely a few years ago, but she was a real role model for how to approach family-career balance. She had a wonderful family and also was one of the most influential thinkers of her time. I think she did it by not making a big deal of having kids. She was pregnant, so what? She had a family, whom she talked about a lot, so what? It helped she was a genius, but I still admired her.

And I totally get why you didn''t call that guy about the job... in your shoes I probably wouldn''t have either. Sometimes we women do have to take a "break" for childbearing/rearing I guess, and with twins the limitations start earlier because of the restictions on travel, as NF learned not long ago when she found out she couldn''t attend her conference. I am certain that your opportunities will not disappear between now and after you have the cubs, you just need to keep doing everything you can do, and try to maintain an optimistic attitude. You are a successful, smart womam who others will want to work with in the future. I think people can smell weakness and vulnerability, and espcially in male-dominated fields, this makes people aggressive or hostile. Heck, THAT could have explained the results that I posted: the women wearing the fake baby bumps were actng more tentative or hesitant, because they were uncomfortable with the deception, and that caused the hostility! Hmmm... I smell a new research project. Jas are you still in for being my guinne pig?

 

[jas]

Date: 8/13/2008 1:53:47 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Hmmm... I smell a new research project. Jas are you still in for being my guinne pig?

Yup. Bring it on. Oy the stories I have about perceptions, etc. Not to mention stories about my own career path and how pregnancy has affected it. But I''ll save that for another time.

 

[Dreamer_D]

My coworked gave me some fancy German chocolates that are chocolate-covered marzipan, and the last ingredient on a list of 5 things is "alcohol". Can I eat them or will it dement my baby?

I really want to eat them.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:12:45 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
My coworked gave me some fancy German chocolates that are chocolate-covered marzipan, and the last ingredient on a list of 5 things is ''alcohol''. Can I eat them or will it dement my baby?


I really want to eat them.

Depends on who you talk to, but my doctor said a bit won''t harm anything (he even said that a glass or two of wine a week is totally fine)...I think the healthcare system in the US is really skewed about all things baby (and thus take crazy precautions) because they are afraid of being sued...everyone is just on overdrive never to say ANYTHING that could be used in a malpractice suit against them.

I can''t imagine there would be enough to harm a baby in a few chocolates!