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Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

DD, I read in my ''What to Eat when you''re expecting'' book (I think that''s where I read it) that eating chocos with booze in them is A-OK, as is cooking with booze (where most of the alcohol evaporates anyway). Especially after the first trimester, aka now-ish, I''ve also been told that half a glass with some food is not really a problem. The only thing you really don''t want to do is get tipsy or drunk, since the concentration moving across the placenta makes the bebes practically passed out once you''re tipsy.

But I never heard of anyone getting tipsy off some marzipan, so I think you should be OK!
 
Marzipan has alcohol? I didn''t even know that. I ate some chocolate covered marzipan from Sees Candy when I was about 4 months pregnant. Cooked alcohol should be fine. dreamer, go for it! Yum! Chocolate covered marzipan is my favorite!
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Date: 8/13/2008 2:37:57 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 8/13/2008 2:12:45 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
My coworked gave me some fancy German chocolates that are chocolate-covered marzipan, and the last ingredient on a list of 5 things is ''alcohol''. Can I eat them or will it dement my baby?


I really want to eat them.

Depends on who you talk to, but my doctor said a bit won''t harm anything (he even said that a glass or two of wine a week is totally fine)...I think the healthcare system in the US is really skewed about all things baby (and thus take crazy precautions) because they are afraid of being sued...everyone is just on overdrive never to say ANYTHING that could be used in a malpractice suit against them.

I can''t imagine there would be enough to harm a baby in a few chocolates!
Well, you probably shouldn''t eat the whole box in one sitting (for many reasons), but I can''t imagine having a couple at a time would do any harm. Both my GP and my OB said it was no problem to have a glass or two of wine a week. They worry about people who consume alcohol on a daily basis or in large quantities. Of course, every Dr. has a different opinion. I think some of them recommend a total ban on alcohol and other food items because they cannot 100% guarantee it is safe and it is safer for them to just say no to avoid lawsuits. Damn lawyers.
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You bunch on enablers! It is a small box with only 6 chocolates so I could probably get away with eating them all if I really wanted to, but I think I will stick with eating only 3. For now.

snlee I am not sure all marzipan has alcohol, there might just be special skiped ones. I ate two already (after NF gave the go ahead I went ahead!) and they are very good.
 
DD, re the prego perceptions thing, I'm totally going to try the red VW plan. Although I'm thinking a red porsche boxster would really do it for me. That sounds awesome. Revs up my go-get'em engine for sure!

And yes, I myself have done exactly what you describe in the self-sabotage, living the stereotype dept. I mentioned a year or so ago about an interview I had for what was essentially the holy grail of jobs in my area. I couldn't believe that I even got the interview, given the huge and redonkulously stellarly qualified international applicant pool. I considered the interview to be the achievement, and thought the job would be practically gravy at that point.

So, in this context, I was thinking about how one of the interviewers asked me a question, in which he (having misunderstood my answer to a previous question) made the assumption that I didn't know about something (important) that I happen to know a cr@p-load about. In my nice polite young lady manner, I listened attentively, pretending that I really didn't know anything about it, nodding as though I were learning from the nice old man, because that's what nice polite young ladies do. They certainly don't correct distinguished and prominent old gentlemen colleagues and tell them they misunderstood! That they made a mistake! Certainly not.

I realize now that of the many places I may have blown that interview this may have been a key one. I actually went along with the idea that I didn't know my stuff, in order to be a pleasant young lady as I was culturally 'trained' to be. And overall, I think I did fine except for a few glitches like this... but you can't afford even a single glitch in this kind of situation. I'm sure a man (or a braver lady!) would have made the correction in a minute.

And yeah, at that interview, I only interacted with men. Middle aged and elderly white men, who were very aggressive in their demeanor and actually mocked my religio-cultural dietary restrictions over dinner. There was one very young lady I met who essentially said that she was desperate for an older female colleague.

And I was thinking about all this on my way down to my office, and then ran into DH, who told me he had lunch with a senior colleague who essentially was nervously asking how much of the 'parenting' he intended to do. They're not so subtly putting him under tremendous pressure not to 'slack' or take time off just because he's becoming a dad. This is the same guy, incidentally, who suggested last year that I should just become a lawyer so that I wouldn't interfere with DH's career, and he brings it up all the time about how my mobility issues are 'an issue' for them with DH.

GEEZ. If I was p'ed before, now I'm SMOKING mad.
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And peeved at DH too for NOT being angry. I asked if he was and he sort of shrugged his shoulders.

Gawd. How much of this cr@p do we have to take?
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It's 2008, people!

I wish I didn't have so much work to do because I feel like I'm about to stab someone with Jas's pen if I don't get to a nice hard workout STAT. GRRRRRRR!!!
 
Delurking on the alcohol issue...

When my husband was in med school they read a lot of the studies available at that time and he came home and said something to the effect that "alcohol is worse than crack for fetuses". The data available suggests that there is no safe amount of alcohol and no safe period in pregnancy for alcohol consumption, as different harmful effect can happen at different stages of gestation - so don''t just blame the lawyers!

However, the data available is not ideal and more well-controlled studies are unethical to perform, so we have only imperfect data to interpret. Most American doctors do read the available more data conservatively than typical European doctors, but these position do have scientific support. And the European-style doctors might have their own cultural-bias reasons for a more permissive alcohol policy
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Not saying that a chocolate bon-bon is going to hurt any babies - I doubt there would be much effect on blood alcohol level - or that anybody''s doctors are wrong, there is just wiggle room in the science at this point.
 
Indy, that is such a common story for women. You must have fealt so angry with yourself at that moment in the interview! But if you had interrupted him, I bet he wouldn''t have reacted well either! I had a job interview 2 years ago that I didn''t get, they ended up choosing someone whos research was more "personality" than mine is, but since he was also a man I can''t help but think that being a young woman hurt me. I didn''t feel very authentic to my kick-ass self in that interview day, because I was trying to be nice and be liked, and I think that hurt me. Live and learn I guess, I''m going to be myself at future interviews, and I will feel more confident since my vita is better now and I am no longer a graduate student.

re: you hubby. I don''t know what men are supposed to do either. My hubby gets "teased" sometimes for being whipped because I have the more powerful career and he will need to simple folow me. Luckily, he works in a field that has lots of women so they are less discriminating about family time etc., but it still hurts the whole family when a woman has a high-powered career and thus has to require her hubby to pick up more slack at home. Lucky us our hubbies appreciate our bad-ass selves and support our careers
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Are you from a country with more strict gender norms than North America? Just curious.

(Actually, I am dead curious about where you are from since you drop tantalizing hints all the time, but I understand if you don''t want to share.)
 
Date: 8/13/2008 3:19:45 PM
Author: cara
Delurking on the alcohol issue...

When my husband was in med school they read a lot of the studies available at that time and he came home and said something to the effect that ''alcohol is worse than crack for fetuses''. The data available suggests that there is no safe amount of alcohol and no safe period in pregnancy for alcohol consumption, as different harmful effect can happen at different stages of gestation - so don''t just blame the lawyers!

However, the data available is not ideal and more well-controlled studies are unethical to perform, so we have only imperfect data to interpret. Most American doctors do read the available more data conservatively than typical European doctors, but these position do have scientific support. And the European-style doctors might have their own cultural-bias reasons for a more permissive alcohol policy
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Not saying that a chocolate bon-bon is going to hurt any babies - I doubt there would be much effect on blood alcohol level - or that anybody''s doctors are wrong, there is just wiggle room in the science at this point.
Too true Cara, like everything we have to weigh things and make the call. I don''t drink anyways, so abstinence is easy for me... but I have eaten three chocolates. I can''t imagine they have more than trace amounts of alcohol!
 
DD, are you online now? If so, if you''re comfy with it, drop me a couple of good clues how to ''find'' you (e.g., article title and initials?), and I''ll e-mail you privately. Then just edit them out of your post ASAP (like, within 5 minutes) so random lurkers can''t track you down.

If you''re not comfy with that, of course I 100% understand! Just I feel like we have a lot to talk about some of which is more interesting to you and I then the rest of the thread, know what I mean?
 
Indy, it was a nice idea but I tried a few obscure-ish things you could google to try to locate me, but none of them links to ways to contact me (my publications are in journals that are not available online or to the general public, so you can only access them on academic search engines that are specific to my topic), so short of saying "My name IS" I can''t think of anything... oh well... we''ll just have to limit our boring conversations or start a new thread
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Okeesmokee! I do have access to academic search engines of every shape size and colour if you do ever want to touch base. An article name would probably do it. But I totally get it if you'd rather stay anonymo.

Hope I didn't make you feel uncomfy.
 
Indy Ohhhhh I would be STEAMED if someone said that to my DH! I''m mad for you. Geez.

I do have a good story though! I just had a meeting with one of my coauthors, very very well respected in his field (literally wrote the books on a few topics I love) and finally had to tell him I was preggo. He''s older, no kids, a VERY kick ass academic wife, the whole bit. So I was worried.

He just said "Oh, congratulations! Let''s talk about using a random effects model". LOL! I could NOT believe that after all my worrying, anxiety, etc. over telling this man, that it is literally all he said about it. Even after I dropped the twins bomb.

I am so happy I am literally ready to jump for joy...I am glad at least sometimes the pale male academic crowd surprises us!
 
Indy while I would love to chat with you, I just can''t get over the possibility of Trolls tracking me down, so I guess we will stay PS friends for now! No uncomfyness, I wish there was a more private way but oh well...

NF lucky lady, I am sooooo stressed about telling my formr supervisors/colleauges since I really need their support on the job market and I don''t want them pulling back because I am not "committed"... I hope I have such a wonderful experience as that!
 
That''s great NF!
 
I''m so excited! I actually found a maternity bathing suit that''s specific to my now epic (and epicly ridiculous) bra size! with built in support! Lord I hope this thing fits. They have them at figleaves in lots of wacky sizes if anyone else is looking.

Can''t WAIT to jump in the pool once we''re all moved! Yay! New workout! Yay!
 
NF, that's so great that your coauthor is so nice. Darn it, that's how it should always be!

Indy, I'm not surprised about your husband's senior colleague's questions. It's crappy, but I already feel so beat down by my school that I wouldn't even bat an eyelash if my husband told me the same thing happened to him. I've already begun to internalize the shame/guilt. I'm super worried about telling my readers. Last week I thought I would take an extra year to finish, but now I'm concerned that I should be finishing on schedule because of the 'timely' nature of my topic. One of my advisers keeps telling me to hurry up and publish because my topic's popularity is on the rise.

I'm not sure in which direction my discipline is headed right now. Historically dominated by men, women now outnumber men in the graduate program 4 to 1. However, those achieving tenure currently are still predominantly male. I think family needs and gender bias will play a role for a while longer (and then, we take over). They're definitely doing their best to brainwash women like me into becoming hardened anti-family rights. I.e., if I had to tough it out, so should you! Argh. Most of my professors are childless or adopted in their 40s. Those with children are predominately male, quelle surprise!

As for you and DD contacting each other in real life, apparently I'm relatively easy to track down. Wish I could change my username, but I don't know if that's possible. DD, if you find me, the circle will be complete. Or something like that
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Ok, back to figuring out a paper proposal for a major major conference next year. Yikes. My cv is in a sorry sorry state.

Oh, and am I the only one who hasn't benefited in the bra department? Sigh. Have fun swimming, Indy. I never really cared for it as a child, but I'm finding it really is great for us pregos.
 
I cannot think of anything I would like to do less at this particular moment in my body''s history than put on a bathing suit and parade around
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Do they make maternity swim suits that are barically mumus? You know, loos and coverage from neck to ankle? That might increase the appeal.

As for the good old (*)(*) (pandora''s image, love it
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), mine are beginning to bust out of the old bra. I think I am going to hit the old F or G cup before this pregnancy is over. That is just out of hand. I don''t think anyone has noticed my belly since I have been wearing empire waist summer dresses mostly, but every time DH sees me he says, "You bbs are huge!" so I think that people will notice that if nothing else! At least it is inappropriate to comment on the size of a woman''s (*)(*), should save me from being called out like Indy was. I can see it now, "Dreamer, your tatas are looking large these days, are you pregnant by any chance?"
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Speaking of which, Indy are you showing?? You must be if someone called you out at work! How exciting!
 
(*)(*) haha - love it! Mine have gotten fuller but they are still small A cups. I don''t mind though. A big belly is good enough for me. I''m waiting to see what happens once the milk comes in. I hear that''s when they get much bigger.

And speaking of showing, we need some belly pictures here. All of you ladies are too shy!
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snlee two of my friends have little (*)(*) and they are preggers and very excited to finally be a full A cup... it is all relative!

I will post belly shots, don''t you worry, but right now I don''t think I look preggers at all, I just look like I ate a lot of pizza!
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And since I didn''t take a before shot so you will all think that I am just chubby... welll, I am a little chubby, but not this chubby! LOL! When the belly shows, I will show you all!

ETA okay I even went and put on my stretchy pants and a tank top and tried to take some pics.... nothing to show ladies... move along.
 
Hi everyone! I''ve been MIA for a little bit as it''s been a busy summer. I''m glad to see all the PTL has subsided, it got scary here for a little bit! I hope everyone is feeling good or as good as being preggers will allow!

Just a quick question, have any of you had much pelvic discomfort? These last few weeks (I''ll be 18 weeks on Sun) I''ve at times felt like I''ve done the splits for a few hours then tried walking around and it''s so uncomfortable! Sometimes it''s my hips as well but I thought this type of stuff happened later in pregnancy. I''m still not really showing or in my mind enough that much pressure is being placed "down there." Just curious as to what others experiences have been. I don''t know if it''s something worth me making a call to my dr about or just wait until my next appt.
 

lol lisa, i can just picture olivia kicking your DH as he got close to the belly! when is your u/s? poor you...PUPPPS is terrible, i''ve seen it on a friend and she was so uncomfortable. i hope you don''t get it again.



travelinggal: it totally took ages to feel the baby. the worst is when you go on preggo message boards and ppl talk about how they''ve been feeling the baby from 12 wks onwards. i was convinced something was wrong until it finally happened!



erica k: i''m still in the bella band too. hey aren''t you in boston as well? whereabouts is your obgyn/hospital? mine is in brookline.



janinegirly: you''re so close now...it''s funny but i don''t feel like as much of a newbie anymore, so that definitely means you are nearing the home stretch! good luck!



indy: *hug* i think you''ve been handling yourself wonderfully through all of this, so an emotional outburst here or there is totally understandable!



dd: that "study" really didn''t need to be sent to you, i agree it was a little odd of your friend to send it your way. btw, you should totally post a belly shot! i''m so shy, but i LOVE seeing everyone''s growing bellies/



snlee: how are you doing?

nothing new to report here...i feel little jelly all the time now - it''s such a relief to have that confirmation that things are ''moving'' down there every few hrs. of course ask me if i''m sick of being a punching bag 4 mos from now
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L2L, I had some pelvic pressure around 18 weeks too. When I told my doctor about it she checked my cervix to make sure it''s long and closed because she said I shouldn''t be feeling much pressure. Two weeks later I had my big u/s and found out the baby was very low, which explained the pressure! When is your next doctor''s appointment? It may be your pelvic area stretching out. However, if you don''t have an appointment soon, you may want to call just to be sure it''s nothing.

sbde, thanks for asking about me. Enjoy those gentle baby movements! Soon they will get much stronger.

I''m doing okay. The second week of bed rest is easier than the first. I''m still feeling what I think is BH contractions. They make me feel lightheaded and dizzy like I''m about to pass out (I read this is caused by the blood rushing to your uterus when you have a contraction). I don''t feel my belly tightening, but I can feel it with my fingertips. I get them up to 6 an hour sometimes. The doctor said to call if I get more than 4-6 an hour for many hours so I''m not too concerned. I have an appointment tomorrow.
 
snlee are you on bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy? hang in there gal! Cross those legs
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Date: 8/13/2008 8:03:45 PM
Author: Loves2Laugh
Hi everyone! I've been MIA for a little bit as it's been a busy summer. I'm glad to see all the PTL has subsided, it got scary here for a little bit! I hope everyone is feeling good or as good as being preggers will allow!


Just a quick question, have any of you had much pelvic discomfort? These last few weeks (I'll be 18 weeks on Sun) I've at times felt like I've done the splits for a few hours then tried walking around and it's so uncomfortable! Sometimes it's my hips as well but I thought this type of stuff happened later in pregnancy. I'm still not really showing or in my mind enough that much pressure is being placed 'down there.' Just curious as to what others experiences have been. I don't know if it's something worth me making a call to my dr about or just wait until my next appt.

I have been, but take that with a grain of salt because I've got two in here! My doctor told me that pressure isn't something to worry about *for me* if it goes away when I am lying down or resting. He said major pelvic pressure that doesn't go away, or comes with a tightening of the uterus (similar to what Snlee felt with her PTL) is a problem and for me to go to the ER immediately if those things occurred.

He said the joint discomfort is normal too because basically your joints become a lot looser in preparation for childbirth causing some people some pain in those joints. But take the internet advice with a grain of salt, all pregnancies are different so if you are worried call your Dr. for sure!
 
Date: 8/13/2008 9:08:19 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
snlee are you on bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy? hang in there gal! Cross those legs
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Hopefully not! At around 32 -34 weeks, the doctor may let me get up and do more. We''ll see...
 
sbde, as of now my hospital is in Cambridge. My prospective doula suggested that I work with a midwife unless I''m a high-risk. The midwives at this hospital work closely with the OBs, so there''s a lot of back and forth between departments anyway. I''m still not sure, but I am super happy to have a hospital closer to home. The Boston one wasn''t far, but sometimes all that traffic and craziness makes me feel like I''m in a different world.

DD, I don''t think you should feel badly about the bathing suit. There are many pregnant women at my pool, and everyone loves to admire the bellies on parade.

L2L, sometimes my tail bone area just kills me. I feel so rickety and achy. It hurts especially when I''ve been sitting on the bed and then stand up. Hopefully more stretching and yoga will help.
 
proof that there''s nothing to see:

week 5

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Date: 8/14/2008 10:06:21 AM
Author: erica k
DD, I don''t think you should feel badly about the bathing suit. There are many pregnant women at my pool, and everyone loves to admire the bellies on parade.
Yes, but will they admire my butt and thighs on parade?
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week 12
1/2 lb weight gain and a 3 inch fetus that weighs less than an ounce makes for nary a bump in sight.

ask me again in a month!
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