Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[nycbkgirl]

Thanks NF- I have a feeling if I hear even one id be fine...again im the kookoo pregnant lady lol..I warned the nurses already..2 funny. Btw..loved ur belly shot ....can''t wait for that but im a big girl so won''t show for a while I think.

Robbie..congrats..every week is a milestone ..so yay! And im not sure u will hear hb so early..I also had scan at 5w5d and all I saw was 2 tiny lil sacs ..but @ 7wks they were sure beating away ..so good luck!!

 

[robbie3982]

Apparently I misunderstood. They gave me a prescription for a dating ultrasound, not the actual ultrasound

. I guess we''ll have to wait a few more weeks to find out if it''s one or more in there. Oh well. My u/s is scheduled for Saturday 11/22 and I''ll be at least 8 weeks, possibly almost 9. I could''ve gone any day that week, but DH is worried about missing too much work and was going to skip if it was during the week so I figured I''d rather wait a few more days and have him be there. Next appointment is set for the first week in December and she said that we''ll try to find the heartbeat at that one! I''ll be 10 or 11 weeks at that point. The nurse practitioner decided to go with the cd19 O date for right now and keep the 4th of July due date unless the u/s says otherwise. My doctor said that she''s actually on call that weekend, so if I turn out to be one of the few people who go into labor on their due date, I''d get to have her deliver the baby.

I think this was the world''s longest appointment. We were there for about 2 hrs. We met with a nurse who took my bp and weight, the nurse practitioner and the doctor. I really like the doctor and the nurse. The nurse practitioner, eh. She said something along the lines of, "So, you''re pregnant. I guess that''s a good thing." Uh, what?! I guess you can''t like everyone, right?

I realized on the way home that we didn''t get any free samples. Everyone seems to always talk about all the samples they get at their first appointment. Did I miss out on something really cool?

 

[nycbkgirl]

Aww robbie sorry u got your hopes up and have to keep waiting

...that''s the worst part of this preggers thing the waiting and the unknown...so they couldn''t do an u/s to just see the sac today or is it because of insurance reasons?

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Dang Robbie,

but at least they confirmed you''re preggo. Hope the ultrasound goes well (and that time flies getting there!!).

 

[neatfreak]

Robbie I don't know what doctors people are going to, but I didn't get any samples either. What would they give you? I did get a "my pregnancy week by week" book, but it was pretty bad. I'd send it to you if I could so you could feel like you got something free.

I think the free samples that people talk about are generally from the hospital when you give birth...

 

[fisherofmengirly]

The only samples I can think of are prenatals. One of my friends was given 5 samples of them, since she has a sensitive stomach and they were wanting her to find the brand that worked best for her. In the end, she ended up doing Flinstone''s chewables because that was all she could handle.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Yup I never got any samples either ...just a book about pregnancy.

 

[Courtneylub]

Date: 11/6/2008 2:19:38 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Yup I never got any samples either ...just a book about pregnancy.

Ditto.

 

[sk8rjen]

NYC -- i (well, my mom bought it actually) got my doppler new off of ebay honestly... it worked great and added up to lots of peace of mind... i was able to find both girls'' heartbeats easily enough too. It''s a Hi Bebe 2.0 mghz and i got it and used it immediately around 11 weeks. I''m actually going to list my used one soon.
jen

 

[robbie3982]

NYC, the doc said that they generally have to fight just to get a dating scan covered so she likes to wait until she knows there will be a heartbeat so they''re not wondering if there was no heartbeat because it was just too early or because there''s something wrong. Makes sense, but I was really hoping to see something today.

Fisher, that''s the funny thing actually, they didn''t do a pregnancy test! I don''t even know if they''re doing a beta with the blood they took. They made me pee in 2 cups (one at the doctors and the other at the lab) and no pee test! I like seeing those lines so much I was actually kind of hoping they''d do one, lol.

Neat, I think it''s mostly different kinds of prenatals, but I''m not really sure. I actually did take a free first trimester gift from Similac that they had in the waiting room. It sounds like it''s similar to what you got. They had a third trimester one too, but it had an expiration date that was a few days before my due date so I figured I''ll get that one later. I''m guessing there was a formula sample or something.

 

[robbie3982]

Just wanted to add that the doc did say that my uterus is enlarged when she examined me, so I guess she confirmed the pregnancy that way.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/6/2008 3:57:41 PM
Author: robbie3982
Just wanted to add that the doc did say that my uterus is enlarged when she examined me, so I guess she confirmed the pregnancy that way.

Don''t worry, they didn''t even want to see me until 12 weeks until they thought my pregnancy might be ectopic. Totally normal for them not to even have you come in until later.

 

[Pandora II]

Hi All,

Great news Lindsey, I am so relieved for you - fingers crossed that all keeps going well.

I saw my wonderful GP this morning who has signed me off work for the next 4 weeks - he wrote a long explanation on the certificate saying that it was entirely due to the extreme distress and depression that they had caused to his vulnerable pregnant patient. He's also said that if necessary I'm on sick leave till the birth and if I need him to come to court for me he will be only too happy to do so. He also had me complete a whole load of depression scales so that he has the results on file.

I'm also not allowed to have any communication with work for the next 2 weeks as he doesn't think I'm in a fit state to comment on anything to do with my employment.

I then went to talk to a lawyer who is going to handle my case and we kick things off tomorrow.

I think there will be a bit of a shock at the office tomorrow when they get my email and when the sick note I posted them tonight arrives... I called my friend there and asked him to tell them that I was unwell and at the hospital all day today so they don't know yet.

I had an OB appointment this afternoon that ended up being over 2 hours - I now have a gazillion new appointments:

- Anaesthetist on Tuesday as they are worried that I may be so opiate resistant due to my pain meds that I can't have epidurals etc

- Fetal cardio scan due to my Lamotrigine

- Pain clinic as I'm getting break-through nerve pain in my legs because my body is processing my meds quicker than normal and I may need to increase the dosage.

- Paediatrician to discuss effects of meds on the baby after birth

and then back to the OB again.

All the staff and doctors are all really nice young women with sense of humour and seem sensible people. My OB is like a young and very slim version of Whoopi Goldberg and even managed to make me laugh which I really needed today. Her comments about my employer are unprintable!

So, am feeling absolutely wiped out, but I don't have to face work for at least 4 weeks which is a HUGE relief right now as I was really starting to crack up over it all.

Tomorrow I have the NT scan - will post pics if I can find the scanner in the mess of boxes here.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Pandora- so sorry you have to go through all this stress and aggravation but at least you have time at home now to relax. You definitley sound like you have some nice cool doctors! That''s always important to have that support.
Let us know how the NT scan goes..im having mine wed...are you going to do amnio either way?

 

[Dreamer_D]

Pandora On the whole that is all great news!

I am so happy that you have such a supportive and responsive community of health care providers, so many people don't

That is wonderful that you dont' have to face work for the next 4 weeks, and after that you can reassess whether you want to just take the sick leave or whether you want to go back in some capacity. I am really happy that things seem to be working out as well as they can given the circumsatnces! Also can't wait to see the u/s! I don't have a scanner so I just took a photo of the u/s so I'd have one... you can always try that.

As for me: I am trucking along! Nothing interesting to report except that one of my close friends told me she is preggo yesterday! I have a circle of 5 female friends and we have dinner together once a week, and one has 2 kids, the other one kid, and two of us are preggo now! haha... we are all academics so this is making our department think there is something in the water

Only one left to get preggo, but its best for her to wait a while longer until her publication record is established, so she will have to live vicariously through us! I also am finding that my feet hurt a lot after a 3 hours lecture

today I came really close to just announcing that I was going to sit down, but I soldiered through!

ETA Robbie that sucks about no u/s, but if your uterus is enlarged that is really as much proof as you would probably get at only 5 weeks, when they would probably only see a sack anyways. The good thing is that when you get your u/s it will really really mean something since an HB at that point is so predictive of good outcomes! My doc never confirmed the pregnancy, just felt my tummy and trusted my reports of POAS. If you really like the lines, you can always just buy some tests yourself! Go for it! LOL!

23w4d

 

[Blenheim]

Pandora, I''m glad that they''re taking care of you and that you can avoid work for a while. Damn, that''s a lot of appointments. I hope that everything checks out fine.

Lyndsey, congrats on a GIRL and on that wonderful titre news!

Courtney, that sounds so much like our conversations, although I really don''t care either way which it is. Gut feeling is girl, though, and I keep slipping and saying she. DH wants a boy.

Robbie, I didn''t get any free samples at my first visit, but then again midwives are probably different than OBs on this. I got some free samples from BRU last weekend, and they weren''t all that great - a single newborn diaper, a single wipe, and some coupons.

Can someone please talk me into either finding out the sex or keeping it a surprise? DH and I both don''t care about finding out. We figured that since we don''t care, the natural thing to do is just not to find out. But not finding out during an ultrasound at this stage is a production! The OB kept having to turn the screen away, take a still shot, show me what he was doing with that, turn it away again, show me the baby moving and its heartbeat way above the belt... you get the picture. Now I feel like it might be easier just to find out at our anatomy ultrasound. DH says whatever makes me happy.

I think my one fear about finding out is that I don''t want to impose gender stereotypes on a newborn, and I''m dreading having ALL pink or ALL blue around. I mean, DH and I don''t dress like that. And while we wouldn''t shop that way for a baby, family and friends might. But I had a talk with my mom (a social worker) today and she pointed out that some gender differentiation is good for developing a gender identity, which is especially important when they start to reach puberty. And we can encourage a strong gender identity as (say) a girl while encouraging her to play sports and get into science.

The early family/family friends shower is before the anatomy ultrasound. So at least we''ll get gender neutral stuff then. I don''t know what to do.

18 week (seriously, how did that happen!?) belly shot:

 

[lover in athens]

hi everyone! just popping in to say hello. i''ve been reading all your posts LATE at night (while breastfeeding), but haven''t really been able to respond. mommy-hood is great, although i''m definitely exhausted. i can''t believe jacob is already 2 weeks old! he''s a great baby so far...very calm. we love him to pieces. here is another pic...

AND...my birth story. VERY long. VERY boring, but in case anyone else is up late at night, here is some reading.



BIRTH STORY

Wednesday, October 22nd started out as a normal day. I woke up, showered, and rushed out the door for my 37 week OB appointment. I was feeling pretty good and looking forward to the day ahead as we had a major furniture delivery scheduled (which we had been waiting for for months!). The appointment went well, although I was *slightly* disappointed that I hadn''t made more progress. I was 3 cm dilated and 50-60% effaced. According to Martha (my OB), it could well be another 2 weeks before delivery!! I HAD encouraged her to do a slightly "less gentle" exam, knowing that we had made it to full term (HUGE relief after being on bedrest with preterm labor since 26 weeks), and that all grandparents would be arriving into town that very day (DH''s parents live here but had been away for 10 days, and my parents were driving in for a wedding that weekend). She said it was still a little early to get too aggressive.

On the way home, around 9:30, I called DH to tell him it may well be awhile until we met our son (ironically of course, given our fear of early delivery for so many weeks). Suddenly, I felt like I had possibly wet my pants. DH told me not be silly (I had mentioned this problem to him previously), and I just assumed I was a very pregnant woman with a full bladder. When I got home, however, I realized that it wasn''t urine, but blood! It had even gone through to the car seat while I was driving. Martha had told me that a little bleeding after her exam was to be expected, but this seemed a bit excessive. I am proud of myself for actually calling Martha''s office to ask if it was normal, although when the secretary told me she was going to put an urgent message to the doctor, I managed to downplay it and say that it definitely did not need urgent attention! Of course, while this is going on, there was pure chaos at home. The pool man had just arrived to go through a final walk through (we had just finished redoing the pool), and the furniture delivery was 45 minutes early (and meanwhile I''m soaking through pads with my bleeding). DH was nervous on the phone when I told him what was going on, of course, and kept asking me if I still felt the baby moving, etc. When Martha''s nurse called me back, I was instructed to go to labor and delivery immediately. I asked if I could wait a while to try to sort things out at home, but was told that waiting was not an option... Thank goodness I had two friends at the house to help sort everything out. Against everyone''s wishes, I drove myself down to the hospital. I NEVER thought that I was actually going into labor (denial???), and so I didn''t take my (half-packed) bag with me.

By the time I arrived at the hospital it was around 11am. I was immediately taken back into the triage area and put on monitors. Because of all the preterm complications we had with ensuing trips to the hospital, I knew the system well and knew what to expect, and even knew the nurse taking care of me! When she asked me about contractions, I said that they were probably 10 minutes apart (this was VERY normal for me, as I had been having contractions ranging from 3-15 minutes apart for 12 weeks!). Little did I know that on the monitor they were more like 3-5 minutes apart. I had my second exam of the day, and it confirmed a ton of bleeding. There was even too much to do the "ferning" test to look for amniotic fluid. Martha arrived at the hospital, and no one really knew what was causing all the blood. The biggest concern was a placental problem which I was told could mean imminent delivery. It was at about this time where it suddenly hit me that we might be having a BABY that day!!! DH arrived over his lunch hour (he was working at another hospital that day, but managed to switch to the hospital I was at for the afternoon). He brought lunch for me (Beyond Bread!), but I wasn''t allowed to eat it! Was I ever regretting not having breakfast before my appointment that morning! We had an ultrasound done while he was there that thank goodness showed everything looked ok. My fluid levels were much lower than previous ultrasounds, but the doctors thought that was probably consistent with just being further along in the pregnancy. No one really knew what was going on at this point, and I was still bleeding pretty heavily. DH had to go back to work, but at least was nearby. Finally someone suggested an AmniSure test to look for ruptured membranes (more reliable than ferning in the presence of blood). We (Martha, my nurse, and I) were all shocked when it turned positive almost immediately. Turns out that the "gush" I had felt at 9:30 was my water breaking! And I WAS OFFICIALLY IN LABOR!!!

As I made the calls to my parents (still en route from Los Angeles but ALMOST in Tucson), and DH to tell them that I was being admitted for delivery, it finally hit me. We were having the baby! I was overcome by emotion...Excitement to meet my son, fear about the labor, and most importantly, hope that my child would arrive safe and sound. DH got coverage for the afternoon at work and arrived back in Labor and Delivery VERY excited. We asked my parents to bring our dogs back to their house and bring my hospital bag down. No one could quite believe that this was actually happening. I don''t know if it was just in my mind, but as soon as I was told I was actually in labor, I started noticing my contractions a bit more...I was transferred to a delivery room I got hooked up to the IV fluids, had blood drawn, and got asked the million and one questions by the nurses for admission. As soon as my first bag of fluids was in, I was offered the epidural which I gladly accepted. I couldn''t believe how quickly everything was moving!! Funnily enough, the anesthesiologist happened to know my father-in-law AND my dad (who used to practice orthopedics in Tucson 25 years ago). Such a small world!

I was having regular contractions on the monitor but they didn''t seem to be doing too much. Martha came in around 3:00pm to officially break my water (I was apparently only "leaking" from before). And then a few hours later to start the dreaded pitocin. Thank goodness for a good epidural!! My parents arrived and a few hours later DH''s parents came too. They had been in San Francisco for a few days and basically came straight from the airport. Everyone was VERY tired. My dad went home for a nap (he and my mom had only been up since around 3am for the drive from Los Angeles), and everyone else ate some pizza for dinner. I was STARVING at this point and made them leave the room so as not to torture me. Luckily, Martha had approved a frozen Eegees drink for me (hey, it''s kind of "clears"), so I had SOME calories! Before he left, at around 5pm my dad started a pool as to what time I would actually deliver the baby. I guessed 2:04am (when I had been born at the very same hospital). At that time, I was thinking...wow...NINE more hours of this if I get to that time (little did I know what I had in store!).

I was checked every couple of hours and still wasn''t making great progress. We sent our parents home for a couple of hours seeing as how delivery was definitely not looking imminent. DH and I were alone..I think we both realized that these moments might be our last times truly alone as just a couple (as opposed to a family). I felt very close to my husband and excited for the adventure we were embarking on. We FINALLY decided on a name for our son which we loved. We tried to get a little sleep, but around 10pm Martha came in and said things weren''t looking that great. I hadn''t made too much progress, and the baby''s heart rate was slightly worrisome. Most concerning was that he just wasn''t moving down enough. We laughed because when my preterm labor started almost 3 months ago, he was VERY low in the pelvis! She offered us a C-section at that time, or said we could try to push ahead with the pitocin for a little while longer. DH and I talked privately and decided to forge ahead (after reassurance that our son wasn''t in any danger as of yet). I had to have internal monitors placed which thankfully didn''t hurt (yay epidural!) We had our parents come back, just in case we did have to go for an emergency section. The nurses would come in a few times an hour to reposition me and answer questions. Baby seemed to tolerate the continued labor well. As once again, it looked like it could be a while, we sent parents back home and tried to get some sleep. I had to have my epidural redosed a couple of times over the next few hours as I started feeling some back labor (not very fun). The nurses were in and out of the room to reposition me and change the pitocin levels. At some point, I was given ephedrine because my blood pressure had dropped. Martha, our superhero OB, was not even supposed to be on call that night, but slept at the hospital so that she could be sure to deliver us. She checked me around 5am, and once again, the baby hadn''t dropped. DH and I were excited that I was about 7cm dilated, and thought for sure we would be given the go ahead on a vaginal birth, but Martha wasn''t pleased at all with the progress. At that time, a C-section was looking like even more of a reality, but she agreed to let us go for one more hour. If the baby hadn''t moved down by 6am, to the operating room we would go. They turned the pitocin back up a bit and we had our parents come down to the hospital AGAIN. I don''t think any of us were very optimistic about a vaginal delivery at that point... BUT... at 6am with my next check, low and behold (no pun intended), the baby had dropped!! I was more than 90% effaced and about 9 cm. We were excited to move forward.

Martha came back at 7am for the final check and I thought that it would be time to push. Unfortunately there was still a lip of cervix left. We had to wait another full hour. At this point, I had a breakdown. I made all of our parents leave the room so it was just DH and me. We had been up all night and the exhaustion and emotion just got the best of me. I was so scared about having enough energy to even push. DH was great and so supportive. He rubbed my back and gave me the best pep-talk ever. I managed to pull it together for the final hour of labor.

By 7:57am, I was complete and ready to go! DH went outside to tell our parents that it was time (with the biggest smile ever, I later heard), and we got down to business. Our nurse, Carolyn, was amazing, and she and DH kept me smiling and laughing through the whole thing. My epidural was great...no pain, but I was able to feel where to push. I remember thinking, "wow, this isn''t even that bad." And my breath was just taken away when they had me reach down to feel my son''s head. DH also got to feel the baby''s head, and his eyes completely lit up when he did. I had no idea how the pushing was going, or how much progress I was making with each push, but Martha came in to gown up after only 20 minutes or so, and then I knew we had to be close. Five minutes later the nurse was on the phone calling for a baby technician "stat" and I knew it was officially time to meet our son. One last final push and I felt his head come out and then his body. It was 8:26 am on Thursday, October 23rd. Martha was holding the baby and had him "wave" to us. The emotions that I felt at that second are absolutely indescribable. Here was my SON. My child. Absolutely perfect and wondrous and a miracle. It was (and continues to be) so amazing to me that DH and I could create something so perfect. He finally cried and was placed on my stomach. DH and I shared a moment of absolute awe for our son. We kissed and I just felt so incredibly happy to finally have my FAMILY. And so was the beginning of Jacob Ari Jeck. At just 5 pounds, 14 ounces and 18 inches, he truly was a miracle.

The next few moments were a blur. Martha was busy stitching me back up (I had some impressive tearing) and the baby was taken to be weighed and cleaned. After we were all back together, our parents came in to meet their grandson. It was again a very emotional moment for everyone. The baby was passed around and pictures were taken, and we all just marveled at the miracle of Jacob.

After a little while, I announced I was officially starving (it had been about 36 hours at this point since I had any solid food), and our dads went out to get us breakfast. It looked so good, but unfortunately I wasn''t able to really eat it as I started feeling a bit nauseated. And I suddenly felt the strongest urge to go the bathroom. My nurse came in to help me walk (the epidural was wearing off, but my legs were still pretty shaky). We sent our parents out and I managed to get about halfway to the bathroom before I started feeling very lightheaded. I finally got to the toilet and was literally gushing blood. Everything after this gets very hazy. I know I couldn''t urinate and that I passed out and that several other nurses came rushing in. They tried using smelling salts but I still completely slumped forward over Carolyn. Finally I was transferred to a wheelchair and taken back to bed. Martha and an anesthesiologist also rushed into the room. I was in and out of consciousness at this point, but do remember feeling better once I was laying flat. I was examined to try to determine where the bleeding had come from. This was extremely painful, so I was given some IV morphine and later redosed through my epidural by the anesthesiologist. I had a stat hematocrit drawn to determine how much blood I had lost, but there was a lab error and it took forever to get the results. Martha finally determined that the bleeding came from part of the uterus that wasn''t able to clamp down because of an overfilled bladder. When I had my foley catheter replaced, apparently 700cc of urine came out. I was also extremely swollen from the trauma of the labor which is why I wasn''t able to pass urine myself when I went to the bathroom. It was very scary to feel that sick and have absolutely no control over what was going on. DH says he was terrified watching it all happen. There was nothing he could do either. Thank goodness the bleeding stopped relatively quickly, and we were ok. Our parents were outside the room during all of the commotion. We laugh now because our mothers were completely oblivious to what was going on. They thought that all the people running into the room probably just knew us (both being physicians) and wanted to see the baby. Our fathers, both MDs, were more aware, but I don''t think quite realized how serious things were for a while.

The rest of that day is a complete blur for me. I continued to be closely monitored in the delivery room for many hours. It was difficult to sit up without feeling faint, and I essentially was in and out of sleep. I remember startling awake a few times to ask if the baby was ok. DH was by my side the entire time, and it was a huge source of comfort to see him every time I awoke. We even had a visitor at one point, and later I had to ask if I was hallucinating that he was really there. I was also incredibly nauseated and managed to throw up a couple times.

We were finally transferred to the post-delivery room where my care was taken over by a different team of nurses. They also were very good. DH and our parents ate gyros for dinner while I managed to slurp down a couple bites of jello. Jacob was a little angel the entire day and barely made a peep. We had an uneventful night, and Friday passed quickly. I breastfed Jacob every few hours and was kept company at all times by the parents and DH. My hemoglobin had dropped to around 8, which is low, but not horrible. Martha did decide she wanted us to stay at least one more day. Saturday, we were excited to go home. My hemoglobin dropped even lower, to 7.3 and I was offered a blood transfusion, which we opted not to do. The blood level was rechecked later and it had risen slightly so I was officially going to be discharged. Unfortunately, the pediatrician came in and told us that Jacob''s early morning bilirubin level was getting high. They wanted to recheck him around noon before officially discharging us to home. We waited patiently, and around 1pm, the result came back as exactly the same as the morning level. Because it wasn''t increasing, we were told it was safe to go home. I signed all the discharge papers and got dressed (heaven) and was literally going out the door when the nurse rushed back in and told us there had been a mistake. Apparently the lab had given yesterday''s value on the phone, and Jacob''s bilirubin in reality had risen to a dangerous level. The pediatricians would not discharge him home, and he needed to be under the "blue lights" for the night.

We were SO disappointed. And so frustrated! We had been receiving excellent care, but had two lab errors within two days!! They brought in the bililights and set them up and put Jacob in them. It was horrible. The poor little guy absolutely hated it and was crying and wailing. It was the first time we had really seen him upset, and we couldn''t do anything! They recommend that you ONLY take the baby out every 3 hours for half an hour for feeding alone. DH and I felt so helpless watching our son be miserable. Our parents were all at a wedding so it was just us. DH picked up sushi for dinner (so delicious after 9 months of refraining), and we settled in to watch the Arizona vs USC football game. DH had a ticket to go, but opted to stay with his wife and son in the hospital. I was so grateful for the company. Jacob settled a little bit under the lights. DH, of course, was shocked with Arizona''s loss (I''ve never met such an eternal optomist with U of A sports)...It was very cute when he said that he thought that everything would work out perfectly the weekend of Jacob''s birth.

The next morning we received the good news that his bilirubin levels had significantly decreased with the treatment and we were discharged to home. Being wheeled out of the hospital was incredibly emotional, as I realized I was leaving with my FAMILY. Things would never be the same. I felt so in love with my husband and son, and so excited to be starting this next phase of our life together.

 

[Shoopy]

Robbie I'm sorry to hear the appt was so long but glad to hear you are feeling good!

I went to the doctor as well today and just did blood work. I get results tomorrow. However, she did do a pap because I was due for one. The nurse told me it was fine to do one but my cousin seemed a little worried that they would do one. So now of course I’m worried. Should I feel worried? Anyway I did get some prenatal vitamins and have two appointments scheduled one for Monday and the other right before Thanksgiving. I’m changing doctors as she is too far from home so the other doctor wants to do additional lab tests on Monday.

ETA: Lovers Your baby is just soooo beautiful!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Lover in Athens,

Your son is so gorgeous! All that hair! I just want to snuggle him so badly. What a lovely addition to your family. Thank you for sharing the picture! I hope you''re rested up and enjoying your days with the little one!!

***
Blen,

I think there are so many things that aren''t a surprise anymore in this life anymore. That''s why we plan to NOT find out the gender of our child. I''m sure the Dr.s are used to having to adapt and move monitors and things of that nature for those parents who choose to not know the gender of their child prior to meeting him/her. One thing we have talked about doing is having it be written on a piece of paper and put in an envelope, so if we were to cave and want to know, we could have that moment between us, and not the staff in the room with us during an ultrasound. I still hope we''re able to wait though.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Fiery- I of course am no expert but I did get a pap smear at 8wks pg. I also had concerns about doing it but the ob said it was absolutley fine and I trust that. So I wouldn''t worry. Good luck to you..can''t wait to hear the results!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Fiery,

I thought this was really odd, too, but it seems to be routine. I''m glad I know about it now, because when the time comes, I would be so upset if I didn''t know in advance.

Hope your future appts. go really well!!

 

[snlee]

LIA, I had tears in my eyes reading your story. You had some scary moments during recovery. I''m glad that you are okay and Jacob''s jaundice is under control. Continue enjoying motherhood! Jacob is adorable! I hope to see you soon over in the mommy thread!

 

[puffy]

LIA what an amazing story! i''m so glad that you and jacob are doing well and that you are enjoying mommyhood. it only gets better from here! congrats again and your son is so precious.

 

[Blenheim]

LIA, your son is precious! I love his fuzzy hair. Congrats!

Fishie, I know that it''s important to some people, but I don''t really care about the surprise. I just feel like I don''t really care about finding out what the sex is, so figured I wouldn''t go through the hassle of finding out. But I didn''t realize that it''s more work NOT to find out (although the the doctors are used to doing things so you can''t see if you ask). I am scared of tons of pink with hearts, or blue with cars on it though.

 

[Loves2Laugh]

Date: 11/6/2008 9:06:14 PM
Author: Blenheim
I am scared of tons of pink with hearts, or blue with cars on it though.

Hi Blenheim, I just wanted to add my .02 about not finding out the gender. We want to be surprised and decided not to find out and it really wasn''t a big deal for them to avoid that "area" during our 20 week ultrasound where you usually find out the gender. Secondly, the above reason was a big one too. People love to buy gender specific items and especially clothing. DH and I really want the necessities for our shower and then we''ll buy the cutesy blue or pink of our liking when the time finally comes. Good luck on either way your choose. We''re definitely in the minority not finding out and it''s been fun!

Colleen 29w5d

 

[cara]

Delurking just to say to Blen... That if all that's keeping you from finding out is the clothes, keep it a secret until the shower. That's what my friend did to avoid the onslaught of pink and sparkle for her daughter, and it worked beautifully. (Well, she spilled to a few choice friends and swore them to secrecy.) She got lots of gender neutral clothes from the shower, a big happy surprise announcement at the shower, and some much smaller amount of pink and sparkle given later. Of course you do have to avoid the Jenifer Garner slip-up in talking to others but it could be a nice secret for you and your hubby.

And in an ironic twist of fate, they now intentionally dress their daughter in pink because she is bald bald bald and somehow this makes people assume she is a he and they are sick of correcting folks! So they try to give people visual clues with her clothes...

Oh, and that's a mighty cute bump you're sportin!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/6/2008 9:30:24 PM
Author: Loves2Laugh

Date: 11/6/2008 9:06:14 PM
Author: Blenheim
I am scared of tons of pink with hearts, or blue with cars on it though.

Hi Blenheim, I just wanted to add my .02 about not finding out the gender. We want to be surprised and decided not to find out and it really wasn't a big deal for them to avoid that 'area' during our 20 week ultrasound where you usually find out the gender.

Ditto on this, it wasn't an issue at the u/s. Actually, the u/s tech never let us watch what he/she is doing anyways, in case something "bad" was discovered or the person watching freaked out over some image. The anatomy scan is just that, and some of the things the tech looks for are hard for a lay person to interpret.

And in case it matters, I am a social psychologist and I can assure you that whether or not you personally encourage a particular gender role, your son or daughter will become perfectly inculcated with gender norms and role expectancies from his/her peer group. All the research suggest that gender typing comes from one's peer group and society at large, so what we do as parents matters little! I think the cases your mom may have seen in her work where she observed negative effects of not being "gender normed" (e.g., peer issues etc) were the result of other develomental issues that happen to correspond with gender-atypical behaviour and not the result of mom or dad refusing to buy their son trucks or something like that. I plan to raise my son or daughter as androgynously as possible, to help counteract the effects of their peer group!

LOL! Actually, research also suggests that the most psychologically healthy people and the best marriage partners are people who are psychologically androgynous--men and women who balance agentic traits and communal/warm traits are the best off. Soooooo if you don't want to dress your kids in gender typed clothing, then go ahead and trust that your son or daughter will be fine. Just don't let your son play with dolls, THAT will really mess him up

PS: about finding out the gender, we opted not to find out and I am glad... don't tell hubby

I like not knowing and thinking of my child as "baby" right now, I find it stops me from forming too many expectancies about what baby will look like or behave like, and that is kind of fun... in a way I feel it allows him or her to simply be who he or she will be, without me projecting something onto his or her identity before it is formed! The only hard part is aleays saying "he or she" all the time

 

[neatfreak]

Blen, I totally second finding out and not telling anyone else if that's what you want to do! I think that is a great compromise. Jen did that and it worked out well for her IIRC.

Or you could do what I've been doing and exclaiming my disdain for all things truck/baby blue/cartoon character related. I've been making sure everyone who asks knows that we prefer brighter colors, things with just bold colors or geometric patterns and no characters, and I've been sharing my love with baby clothes from American Apparel with everyone (I even registered at Amazon so that we could put all the AA onesies on our registry!).

Except for my MIL people seem to get it pretty well so far...but then again we haven't had my shower yet, so I'll report back after tha. We've gotten surprisingly little truck/car themed things though, I feel like people generally know me well and know that I am not into that kind of thing...

 

[mela lu]

Wow-zers! I had a lot of catching up to do here tonight! Where to begin?

indy - thinking of you always

blen - As you know we're (well, I am and my DH is going along with it) not going to find out the sex before birth. I personally LOVE surprises, and love the titillating feeling I get NOT knowing something (heeee) but also it's helping us exercise restraint. Restraint in the shopping dep't, restraint in the "naming the baby before its born" dep't (I firmly believe i need to see the baby before I can name it...) and also to exercise restraint in the 'expectation' dep't. For us (me) it's a strategic decision. Now, that said, since you are not wild on the surprise factor, I think maybe finding out *IF* the baby happens to show it's junk at your anatomy scan, and then keeping it a wee little secret between you and your DH (and us NATURALLY - hee haw!).
Good luck with this one Either way - you're a huge winner

ETA: congrats on 18 weeks. time's flying!

LIA - your son is scrumptious! What a gorgeous picture and thanks for sharing your story! wow.

Robbie - sorry to hear about the disappointment today, but in a way, it'll provide THAT much more of a climax for your next appt. I completely 'hear' you on the relief that little heartbeat will give, and these next weeks will be agonizing, but coming from the same experience, the deep relief that will overcome you when you finally hear that heartbeat will wash away all the agony felt during these weeks waiting. Hang in there girl!!!!!!!!!! And may-jah congrats on passing your milestone!

Pandora - whoa and wow. What a brutal turn of events for you.

I'm really happy that you're going to get the distance you need right now from those dragons. Rest up - your schedule of appts sound exhausting.

I'm wishing you all the best during these trying time, my preggers buddy. ETA: good luck with your NT tomorrow! Thinking of you....

DD – your pregnancies are mighty catchy! Haha. Must be nice to have girls to share this with irl.

Fiest – I think it’s ok you got a pap. Try not to worry

I must be forgetting so many people. So sorry!

As for me. I finally had a real appt with one of my Middies today. I have to say I LOVE HER! She’s just so laid back, patient, a great explainer and has the jolliest laugh. I feel SO comfortable and confident in her care. Phew. We got to listen to the incredible heartbeat on her Doppler. It was amazing all over again. So strong and loud. It melted my heart.
I’m going for my NT scan next Thursday (13 weeks). Can’t wait!
Also, I ended up working late last night with my boss…and we got to talking about how understaffed we are…blah blah blah….and I ended up telling him!!! He was happy for us (sad for him!!!) but it went well. Now the cat’s out of the bag, and I don’t have to worry so much about hiding my gargantuan boobs. LoL.
Mela 12 weeks tomorrow

 

[Courtneylub]

LIA - thank you so much for sharing your story. I enjoyed it very much and cried through most of it!! I think I''m finally starting to seriously think about L&D. It''s hitting me! Jacob is so adorable and congrats to you and your DH.