Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/17/2008 6:36:24 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 11/17/2008 5:23:13 PM

Author: neatfreak



Ugh, that is really annoying and yet interesting. Most firms in the US would rather have 2 part time employees so they don''t pay benefits to anyone! I''m so sorry Mela. So let me get this straight, you''ve been working part time and now they want you at full time or else they are letting you go, correct? What would happen to your mat leave if you left outright?

Mat leave comes from an insurance premium that we pay to the federal govenment from all of our taxable income. So if she left, it could affect her in two ways: 1) she must work 600 hours in the previous 52 weeks to qualify, so if quitting meant she would not make this total then it could affect her ability to claim benefits (though that is only 10 hours per week so it seems unlikely to me that quitting will affect this); 2) her payment depends on her gross income from the 26 weeks preceding the start of mat leave; payments are 55% of your gross weekly income from this period OR $435, whichever is less. So if she quits this could be affected depending on how much she earns at her florist part-time job and whether or not the severence would count in the 26 week tally.

Thanks DD! I am always interested in how other countries do things.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/17/2008 6:40:12 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/17/2008 6:36:24 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 11/17/2008 5:23:13 PM

Author: neatfreak



Ugh, that is really annoying and yet interesting. Most firms in the US would rather have 2 part time employees so they don't pay benefits to anyone! I'm so sorry Mela. So let me get this straight, you've been working part time and now they want you at full time or else they are letting you go, correct? What would happen to your mat leave if you left outright?

Mat leave comes from an insurance premium that we pay to the federal govenment from all of our taxable income. So if she left, it could affect her in two ways: 1) she must work 600 hours in the previous 52 weeks to qualify, so if quitting meant she would not make this total then it could affect her ability to claim benefits (though that is only 10 hours per week so it seems unlikely to me that quitting will affect this); 2) her payment depends on her gross income from the 26 weeks preceding the start of mat leave; payments are 55% of your gross weekly income from this period OR $435, whichever is less. So if she quits this could be affected depending on how much she earns at her florist part-time job and whether or not the severence would count in the 26 week tally.

Thanks DD! I am always interested in how other countries do things.

I should add that the monthly premium that we pay for this is very little... on a $50,000 salary you would pay about $60 per month (tax decudtible) and it provides maternity leave pay as above and also similar amounts for up to a year if you become unemployed. Well worth it IMHO, but not everyoen agrees since it is a socialized programme and some people will take more $$ from it over the course of their lives than will others.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Mela,

Pretty baby!!

 

[Blenheim]

Oh, boooooo.

Greetings from Target.com.
Due to an unexpected error, the following item(s) you have ordered
were incorrectly priced at the time of your order.

Britax Marathon Convertible Car Seat - Cowmooflage

We''re sorry, but we are unable to offer this item for the incorrect
price. The correct price is $279.99. We have canceled your order for
this item. If you would like to order this item at the correct price,
please visit Target.com to check for availability.
Despite our best efforts, a small number of items on our site are
occasionally mis-priced. We do, however, verify prices as part of our
shipping procedures. If we discover that an item''s correct price is
higher than our stated price, we will either contact you for
instructions before shipping or cancel your order and notify you of
the cancellation. This pricing policy is posted in the Help section
on Target.com.
Again, we''re sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused
you. Thank you for being our valued guest.

Sincerely,
Guest Service Department
Target.com


I don''t like Target''s policies much anyway and I think this may be the final straw. I''m fully willing to impeach them, or at least boycott.

DD, thanks for the baby movement advice. We''re going to try that tonight. I think I''m more impatient for hubby to feel it than he is though. His attitude is that he knows that he''ll feel it sooner or later.

Mela, so cute! It''s awesome that they were able to capture that. Good luck making your decision regarding the job situation.

Fiery Red, that''s funny about all the phone calls.

 

[mela lu]

Thanks for all your inputs. Sadly, this is a full-time vs part-time issue. The company's needs are for a full-time employee, but interestingly the pregnancy DOES play a part into it because they do not want to continue ANY offers of part-time work to anyone; especially to me "if" I was to return from mat leave. I think I was a guinea pig for them to see if p/t worked for them. It didn't

Sadly, after 3.5 years there (3 yrs full-time/half-a-year part-time) my severance will not amount to *enough* to make a difference; mostly because the Gov't looks at the past 26 weeks as a basis for my payments. If I was to leave now, I would only be making the bare minimum in at the flower shop to qualify for the minimum Mat Leave payments. If I go back full-time, then I'd be getting (basically) the maximum payout. So there really is no comparison.

I've been backed into a corner, where the only sensible choice for me, and my growing family is to go back full-time.

Ironically, I have zero plan to return to work there after my mat leave is up. This was always part of the "plan" with DH and I. I'm using my mat leave as an opportunity to job-hunt/interview/set my own back-to-work date.

This is my new reality. I have to suck it up, become an adult and just accept the fact that this is the hand I've been dealt, and for the sake of my family, I have to just grin and bear it.

as you can see, I've moved from anger, to sadness, and (slowly) to acceptance. My dream is dead. Time to go through the grieving process.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/17/2008 10:34:02 PM
Author: mela lu
as you can see, I''ve moved from anger, to sadness, and (slowly) to acceptance. My dream is dead. Time to go through the grieving process.

Mela I am so sorry things won''t work out the way you dream. And sweety I love your energy and your passion and the way you throw yourself into all your feelings, but don''t get too carried away! Your dream isn''t dead at all! Six months, six schmonths... that is nothing in the grand scheme! After those six little stinky months you will have your baby and start anew with a nice, big-as-possible mat leave payment. That is great. It does suck that you can''t keep working like you have been for the last 6 months, I totally understand that feeling of being compelled into a less-than-ideal situation, but it is all for a greater purpose. Like you, I was in a situation in the last 4 months where I had to take on more teaching than I would have liked in order to save enough money for us to afford my mat leave, and it kinda sucked, but in the end it wasn''t so bad and it has flooooown by. It will for you too, I promise.

This way has some other pluses too... if you want you can keep the option of returning to your job as a safety net. Don''t tell them you don''t plan to return, then you can look for new work with freedom from worry and wait to find the job or job-combo of your dreams. And if that doesn''t work you can just stay barefoot and pregnant for the next 5 years!

25w1d <-------- WTF??!!?

 

[mela lu]

you are so right. I am a *wee* bit of a drama queen, which makes for grand entertainment at the dinner table, I assure.

The "dream is dead" thing is just a mourning of what was to be the last selfish time in my life (for a while) as I entered mommyhood.

I know the months will fly by, especially with Christmas coming (always a stinking blur to me). So, really, it's just getting through Jan, Feb, Mar, April. Done!

It's just so funny to me that I've never been one to be driven by money or success, and here I am being forced to make a decision that will net me more money in the long run. Most people would be thrilled with this option!

Funny how things work.

I spoke to my employer at the flowershop. She understands my predicament...and assured me that I'm welcome back whenever the time comes. In her mind, she's training me to take over her biz (which I would LOVE). At least that possibility still stands. Once my bambine-dog gets old enough, I can re-open that door.

Alas. corporate bullying. What's a lickle preggie supposed to do.

In totally unrelated news, my girl friends had JOKING onsies made up to celebrate my graduation into the 2nd trimester. They read:
"Sometime's Mommy's milk tastes like wine"
"Mommy's little Beef Patty"
"Move over Mela, Mommy's fur-less baby is here"

lol. Just looking at those cheered me up. Love friends.

DD - I cannot BELIEVE you are 25 weeks. Time certainly is flying. wowowowowwwwwwwwwwwwww. Are we due for another belly shot soon?

Maybe I should indulge and post one soon tooo!!!!!!! BELLY SHOTS FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/17/2008 11:32:58 PM
Author: mela lu
you are so right. I am a *wee* bit of a drama queen, which makes for grand entertainment at the dinner table, I assure.

The ''dream is dead'' thing is just a mourning of what was to be the last selfish time in my life (for a while) as I entered mommyhood.

What?? You mean I can''t be selfish anymore??! No one told me that!!!

Impending motherhood freaks me out every day just a *little* bit, I just try not to think about it too much. Luckily I have the distraction

of the academic job market which is finally in full swing... within the next 1-4 weeks I will know if I have inteviews at about half the places I applied. Ack!!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Hi all..hmm my post didn''t go through ystdy..mela soooo cute..I would blow it up and frame that one ..sorry about the work problems..that''s stinks having to deal with these issues while preggers..but u have the right mentality.

So nurse called today with nt results:
Baby A- 1/3705
Baby B- 1/2459
Trisomy- both 1>10,000

So I don''t think amnio/cvs is necessary..any opinions as to how acurate this scan is?

I also rescheduled my doc visit 1 wk earlier to next tues. I can''t make it to 3 wks with my craziness.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 11:52:54 AM
Author: nycbkgirl
Hi all..hmm my post didn''t go through ystdy..mela soooo cute..I would blow it up and frame that one ..sorry about the work problems..that''s stinks having to deal with these issues while preggers..but u have the right mentality.

So nurse called today with nt results:
Baby A- 1/3705
Baby B- 1/2459
Trisomy- both 1>10,000

So I don''t think amnio/cvs is necessary..any opinions as to how acurate this scan is?

I also rescheduled my doc visit 1 wk earlier to next tues. I can''t make it to 3 wks with my craziness.

Since the results are low enough to be considered negative, you obviously don''t have to worry about false positives. The rest is just what is says: an odds ratio. In a group of 2500 or 3500 babies with the measurements that your babies have, about 1 will actually have Down syndrome. I don''t know how old you are, but the age-only estimates for 25 year olds are ~ 1:1500 and ~ 1:1000 for 30 year olds and ~ 1:700 for 35 year olds. So your numbers were so promising that they decreased your estimates risk relative to the base-line, which is a good result!

If these results are from the scan only, and are not a combined estimate based on blood work & scan, then the test will successfully detect about 80% of babies who actually have Down syndrome--this means that 80/100 babies with Down syndrome will have measurements that distinguish them from non-affected babies and will thus have risk-ratios that identify them (e.g., anything less than 1:300 odds, for example). So a very very small number of babies that actually have Down syndrome will slip past the test because they have measurements that are the same as unaffected babies. But this is a very small number and worked into the odds ratio... So you are clear!

I wouldn''t follow-up with any more testing based on those results, because the odds of a m/c from the amnio or CVS (which is about 0.7% - 2% depending on the study) is greater than the odds that your babies have Down sydrome. The only thing to follow-up with would be a second blood test at 16 weeks IF you had the triple-screen blood test done at 12 weeks. The most accurate odds come from an NT scan combined with 2 blood tests, one at 12 weeks and one at 16 weeks (they look for markers in the blood).

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 12:55:30 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 11/18/2008 11:52:54 AM

Author: nycbkgirl

Hi all..hmm my post didn''t go through ystdy..mela soooo cute..I would blow it up and frame that one ..sorry about the work problems..that''s stinks having to deal with these issues while preggers..but u have the right mentality.


So nurse called today with nt results:

Baby A- 1/3705

Baby B- 1/2459

Trisomy- both 1>10,000


So I don''t think amnio/cvs is necessary..any opinions as to how acurate this scan is?


I also rescheduled my doc visit 1 wk earlier to next tues. I can''t make it to 3 wks with my craziness.

Since the results are low enough to be considered negative, you obviously don''t have to worry about false positives. The rest is just what is says: an odds ratio. In a group of 2500 or 3500 babies with the measurements that your babies have, about 1 will actually have Down syndrome. I don''t know how old you are, but the age-only estimates for 25 year olds are ~ 1:1500 and ~ 1:1000 for 30 year olds and ~ 1:700 for 35 year olds. So your numbers were so promising that they decreased your estimates risk relative to the base-line, which is a good result!


If these results are from the scan only, and are not a combined estimate based on blood work & scan, then the test will successfully detect about 80% of babies who actually have Down syndrome--this means that 80/100 babies with Down syndrome will have measurements that distinguish them from non-affected babies and will thus have risk-ratios that identify them (e.g., anything less than 1:300 odds, for example). So a very very small number of babies that actually have Down syndrome will slip past the test because they have measurements that are the same as unaffected babies. But this is a very small number and worked into the odds ratio... So you are clear!


I wouldn''t follow-up with any more testing based on those results, because the odds of a m/c from the amnio or CVS (which is about 0.7% - 2% depending on the study) is greater than the odds that your babies have Down sydrome. The only thing to follow-up with would be a second blood test at 16 weeks IF you had the triple-screen blood test done at 12 weeks. The most accurate odds come from an NT scan combined with 2 blood tests, one at 12 weeks and one at 16 weeks (they look for markers in the blood).

And the odds of trouble or m/c with an amnio are even higher for twins because they have to do it twice...

 

[nycbkgirl]

Thanks DD- I am turning 26 next sat I figured these were good results and I def don''t want to do cvs/amnio..but good thing u told me about the 16wk bloodwork..will keep an eye on that. So im happy. But I still don''t feel anything and I constantly think something is wrong ..ugh ivf mentality at its worst! Can u give me any reassurance that there''s not much that can go wrong after my 12 wks scan that was last wed.?? I have to keep busy til tues..thanks for all the info!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 1:19:50 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Thanks DD- I am turning 26 next sat I figured these were good results and I def don''t want to do cvs/amnio..but good thing u told me about the 16wk bloodwork..will keep an eye on that. So im happy. But I still don''t feel anything and I constantly think something is wrong ..ugh ivf mentality at its worst! Can u give me any reassurance that there''s not much that can go wrong after my 12 wks scan that was last wed.?? I have to keep busy til tues..thanks for all the info!

After 12 weeks the odds of m/c are as low as they get: 5%. That''s the best I can do!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 1:19:50 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Thanks DD- I am turning 26 next sat I figured these were good results and I def don''t want to do cvs/amnio..but good thing u told me about the 16wk bloodwork..will keep an eye on that. So im happy. But I still don''t feel anything and I constantly think something is wrong ..ugh ivf mentality at its worst! Can u give me any reassurance that there''s not much that can go wrong after my 12 wks scan that was last wed.?? I have to keep busy til tues..thanks for all the info!

Unfortunately there isn''t a lot of assurance with twin pregnancies that anyone can give. Just have to be very watchful for preterm labor and listen to your doctor if they tell you to take it easy, take more vitamins, whatever.

 

[Pandora II]

Mela, seems like the labour laws are different from here. In the UK you would be protected as part-time carries the same protection as full-time.

I have spent today doing nasty calculations (maths was not my favourite subject at school) to work out exactly what I stand to lose and then adding it all up and working out the tax implications. Has taken me about 9 hours and a lot of phone calls but I have finally finished. My lawyer approved the basic set-up yesterday and said I''d be pretty likely to get the whole lot if we go to court - hooray.

Boy are they going to be sick when they see it - and even sicker when they get my next letter. We are now sueing for disability discrimination as well as pregnancy discrimination. My lawyer is a super-star.

Very cute u/s pic mela - did you post it on in-gender yet?

 

[mela lu]

Congrats NYC on the NT scan results. Great news! Try to enjoy these days...you're out of the woods and entering the supposed "honeymoon trimester"...or so I've heard. lol.

Pandora - sounds like progress girl! Good for you. I really feel for you even more now, that it's happening to me (on a different scale). It makes me SICK. I couldn't even eat dinner last night I was so upset. NO ONE MESSES WITH MY DINNER!!!

About in-gender. I just opened it...What forum should I be posting the pic in? I love this idea! ETA: NEvermind. I figured it out. I have to upload into the "Ultrasound Gender Prediction - Post your u/s gender photos here for discussion" forum. Doi.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/18/2008 1:19:50 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Thanks DD- I am turning 26 next sat I figured these were good results and I def don't want to do cvs/amnio..but good thing u told me about the 16wk bloodwork..will keep an eye on that. So im happy. But I still don't feel anything and I constantly think something is wrong ..ugh ivf mentality at its worst! Can u give me any reassurance that there's not much that can go wrong after my 12 wks scan that was last wed.?? I have to keep busy til tues..thanks for all the info!

When I got my results (NT with combined blood-work) I asked the sonographer about the unit's false positive and false negative rates. They'd just had the latest results in and they were even better than the statistical ones which helped reassure me.

The NT test was invented at King's College Hospital in London by Professor Kypros Nikolaides. My hospital is about 15 minutes from Kings and the sonographer was trained by Prof. Nikolaides so she had a lot of info on the test.

Although they can't give you a 'definite' without cvs or amnio, the results from the NT and bloods are around 85% - the important thing to also add in are the soft markers. If you can see a distinct nasal bone and the heart and major organs look good, and the babies look active, then you have even less likelyhood of having a false negative.

They are predicting a 90% detection rate when combined with the Quadruple test at around 16 weeks.

Your results sound great - I really wouldn't worry. I was worried too, especially before the test - I'm 36 for a start - but they really put my mind at rest.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 2:45:02 PM
Author: Pandora II

They are predicting a 90% detection rate when combined with the Quadruple test at around 16 weeks.

This is the combined test that I had.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Thanks everyone for the reassurance..i am glad I don''t have to do amnio..it took a lot to achieve this pregnancy and I sure don''t want to do anything to compromise it.

Neat- when I met with my ob the first time one of the first things she mentioned was ptl and this all occured after indy''s situation so I was really upset about it but I do understand that the situations are diff and my twinks don''t share anything..so I am a little calmer about it and just have to be aware of things. When im doing the u/s I feel such a sense or relief and security but then a few days go by and im already back to feeling like what if something is wrong etc. I wait for these u/s like holiday and thank goodness they are not more than 2 wks apart ..bc I couldn''t take it. Ugh when the belly "pops" maybe I can be calmer..when does that usually happen?

 

[mela lu]

Haha. I don''t want to burst the bubble, but I don''t think the ''worrying'' ever goes away. Thinking in small milestone (rather than getting overwhelmed by the enormity of it all) may help you cope with some of the anxiety. Hang in there NYCBK.

Pandorla - I have so many knicknames for you in my head. Pandorsy, Pandorla, Panda. Anyways. I uploaded my u/s to that site, but there was no "nub" so they couldn''t guess. Oh well. Back to my intuition and scientific food theory. Guess what I had for lunch? Anyone? Guess? Anyone?

clue: it rhymes with mentals

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 3:59:01 PM
Author: mela lu
Haha. I don''t want to burst the bubble, but I don''t think the ''worrying'' ever goes away. Thinking in small milestone (rather than getting overwhelmed by the enormity of it all) may help you cope with some of the anxiety. Hang in there NYCBK.

Ditto. I actually think the belly popping won''t help, but feeling them move will. That should happen with twins around 16 weeks give or take? When they punch you it is clear there is nothing wrong. Of course, I know people who panic when baby is still for too long

so as Mela said, there is no real "proof based" cure for worry... worries are not based on reality so reality can''t cure ''em!

 

[nycbkgirl]

LENTILS?? Lol.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 4:22:57 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
LENTILS?? Lol.

Yentil? Did you eat a cross-dressing, singing Barbra Streisand??

 

[nycbkgirl]

Yeh the worries will never go away they just will change from one thing to another..oh I can''t wait for a nice kick or 2 in the organs lol...well 16 weeks isn''t too long away so I can try to handle it ..I guess lol.

 

[mela lu]

Date: 11/18/2008 4:24:35 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 11/18/2008 4:22:57 PM

Author: nycbkgirl

LENTILS?? Lol.

Yentil? Did you eat a cross-dressing, singing Barbra Streisand??

HahaHA! That made my day.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 4:27:03 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Yeh the worries will never go away they just will change from one thing to another..oh I can''t wait for a nice kick or 2 in the organs lol...well 16 weeks isn''t too long away so I can try to handle it ..I guess lol.

It may be later that 16 weeks, so don''t worry if it is!

Mine weren''t strong until 22 weeks, but I think twins can be felt earlier...

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 3:52:27 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
Thanks everyone for the reassurance..i am glad I don't have to do amnio..it took a lot to achieve this pregnancy and I sure don't want to do anything to compromise it.


Neat- when I met with my ob the first time one of the first things she mentioned was ptl and this all occured after indy's situation so I was really upset about it but I do understand that the situations are diff and my twinks don't share anything..so I am a little calmer about it and just have to be aware of things. When im doing the u/s I feel such a sense or relief and security but then a few days go by and im already back to feeling like what if something is wrong etc. I wait for these u/s like holiday and thank goodness they are not more than 2 wks apart ..bc I couldn't take it. Ugh when the belly 'pops' maybe I can be calmer..when does that usually happen?

For me I just got a lot calmer once you can feel the babies consistently moving around ya know? It's nice reassurance that everything is fine. I think that happened sometime mid 20's. I felt mine much earlier, around 13 weeks, but it depends on how much "padding" you have, their placenta locations, etc. So don't freak if you don't feel it until later. And consistent movements were much later than the initial movements.

And I don't want to scare you, but PTL is a SERIOUS issue for multiples and likely the type of twins that Indy had really didn't have anything to do with her PTL. We are at a significant risk of PTL and complications JUST because it's twins. So you need to make sure that you are well versed in the signs and that your doctor and hospital take you seriously if you really think you are having PTL. The worst thing that can happen if you think you are in PTL and head to the hospital is that they send you home. The worst thing that can happen if you think you are in PTL and DON'T go to the hospital/call your doctor is that your babies could be very early. So just read up on it, drink tons of water, and put your feet up when you can. That's all we can do.

 

[nycbkgirl]

I hear ya neat will try 2 hang in there ..so is drinking club soda ok versus water..I find I can drink more of it and it goes down easier..I asked ob and she said it was fine but do u think I shouldn still be drinkin plain water?

Mela- so was I right or what?? Lol

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/18/2008 3:59:01 PM
Author: mela lu
Haha. I don''t want to burst the bubble, but I don''t think the ''worrying'' ever goes away. Thinking in small milestone (rather than getting overwhelmed by the enormity of it all) may help you cope with some of the anxiety. Hang in there NYCBK.

Pandorla - I have so many knicknames for you in my head. Pandorsy, Pandorla, Panda. Anyways. I uploaded my u/s to that site, but there was no ''nub'' so they couldn''t guess. Oh well. Back to my intuition and scientific food theory. Guess what I had for lunch? Anyone? Guess? Anyone?

clue: it rhymes with mentals

LOL on the nicknames. Actually it''s quite useful as we are thinking of Pandora as a girl''s name (almost def. Daisy Pandora but maybe the other way round) and now I know what they''ll get called at school!

I wondered if they''d see a nub or not - it looked to me like the babies legs were in the way sadly. Mine was a great nub, but difficult to call apparently... I got more boy than girl votes, but CharlieCats (the resident expert sonographer) thought it was hard to call but on instinct would go for boy.

I can''t believe you like lentils. Bleugh. All I really want is green apples - and I ran out of them today so I will have to go out tomorrow to stock up. I''ve eaten quite a few mangos this week as well. Fruit and Tom Yum soup seems to be all I really want, and since I''m still feeling icky, it''s pretty much all I eat.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 5:07:49 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
I hear ya neat will try 2 hang in there ..so is drinking club soda ok versus water..I find I can drink more of it and it goes down easier..I asked ob and she said it was fine but do u think I shouldn still be drinkin plain water?


Mela- so was I right or what?? Lol

You need to drink as much water as possible, and as you get further along it becomes even more important for preventing PTL. We're talking more water than you ever thought possible (assuming you are starting out as a non-water drinker), a few liters a day.

I would drink seltzer over club soda personally if you want something fizzy because usually club soda has salt. But it's certainly a better choice than sugary sodas!