Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[fieryred33143]

I’m feeling incredibly guilty and sad today.

My bf’s friend has been trying to get pregnant. Between her age, his age, his low sperm count, and all kinds of problems with her ovaries they have to do IVF. It has cost them $40K (some of that money paid through insurance) and this was their second time trying. On Friday she sent me this email regarding my bf’s bachelorette party:

I don’t know if Mel told you but I am pregnant and unfortunately won’t be able to get my drink on. I will however be able to get my dance and laugh on. Can’t wait!

And I found out today through my bf that she lost the baby. She gets one more chance.

I’m just so sad for her right now because she desperately wanted this one to stick.

And its also looking like I may have to tell my bf about my own pregnancy before the wedding even though I didn’t want to. She is scheduling a wine taste test in the suite for all the girls to help choose the wine she’s serving at the wedding. I can fake drinking in a crowded bar all night…but I can’t fake drinking something else when its just the six of us and they are specifically looking for your opinion on a drink.

P.S. I love lentils and am now craving it. Thanks!! LOL

 

[neatfreak]

Fiery I''m so sorry to hear about your friend! That sucks. As for the wine tasting, a few things to consider. #1, can you just say you can''t make it? If not, a few small sips of wine won''t harm your baby...so you could always do the taste/swish with just a sip. That''s the real way to taste wine anyway, you can just look like a wine snob.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 11/18/2008 5:54:03 PM
Author: neatfreak
Fiery I''m so sorry to hear about your friend! That sucks. As for the wine tasting, a few things to consider. #1, can you just say you can''t make it? If not, a few small sips of wine won''t harm your baby...so you could always do the taste/swish with just a sip. That''s the real way to taste wine anyway, you can just look like a wine snob.

Thanks neat. It really is so sad for her. The doctor is hopeful that they''re on the right track and don''t have to give up just yet so she''s hanging on to that hope.

I can''t not go because I''m driving her there

. I think I need to come up with a plan to make her not do the wine tasting LOL. Maybe I''ll say its not a good idea to mix wine and liquor so it may not be good for the girls to have the taste test before hitting the bar.

But is that right? Can you mix wine and liquor? LOL

 

[robbie3982]

Ok guys, I have a dilemma. I won a gift certificate for an hour long massage in September during a vendor fair at Curves. I found out I was pregnant a few days later and miscarried the week after and was kind of removed from the world for a bit.

Fast forward 5 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again. I remembered my gift certificate and realized that it expires on 12/31.

The woman who does the massages is also a member at Curves as is my mom and a bunch of other people I know in the community. Only 2 of my very close friends know that I''m pregnant. No one else is being told until Christmas when I''ll be past 12 weeks.

I know I need to tell the massage therapist that I''m pregnant, but I don''t want to tell her before everyone else because I really don''t know her well enough to trust her with the secret so I set up an appointment for the last week in December (I''ll be 13w3d) and figured I''d tell her when I get there.

Pregnancy massage is definitely listed in the brochure, and the woman is an RN and a Certified Massage Therapist and has national certification in therapeutic massage and bodywork, but it doesn''t say anything about being certified in pregnancy massage. Is this an issue?

Also, any idea if it would be an issue to tell her when I get there that I''m pregnant? Is there anything that she might need for a pregnancy massage that she wouldn''t for a non-pregnancy massage?

 

[Blenheim]

NF, is that much water for twin pregnancies or all? Yikes. I don''t think I''m meeting that.

Robbie, no idea on the massage. That sounds nice, though.

Pandora, way to go, lawyer!

NYC, congrats on the good u/s numbers.

DD, belly shots?

Fiery, your poor friend. Worst case with the wine is that you have a little sip of each. That much wouldn''t do anything bad.

Just sitting here and reading today''s replies I felt four good jabs. I really wish hubby was here to feel it. He still hasn''t.

19w5d

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 6:20:45 PM
Author: robbie3982
Ok guys, I have a dilemma. I won a gift certificate for an hour long massage in September during a vendor fair at Curves. I found out I was pregnant a few days later and miscarried the week after and was kind of removed from the world for a bit.


Fast forward 5 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again. I remembered my gift certificate and realized that it expires on 12/31.


The woman who does the massages is also a member at Curves as is my mom and a bunch of other people I know in the community. Only 2 of my very close friends know that I''m pregnant. No one else is being told until Christmas when I''ll be past 12 weeks.


I know I need to tell the massage therapist that I''m pregnant, but I don''t want to tell her before everyone else because I really don''t know her well enough to trust her with the secret so I set up an appointment for the last week in December (I''ll be 13w3d) and figured I''d tell her when I get there.


Pregnancy massage is definitely listed in the brochure, and the woman is an RN and a Certified Massage Therapist and has national certification in therapeutic massage and bodywork, but it doesn''t say anything about being certified in pregnancy massage. Is this an issue?


Also, any idea if it would be an issue to tell her when I get there that I''m pregnant? Is there anything that she might need for a pregnancy massage that she wouldn''t for a non-pregnancy massage?

Robbie, I wouldn''t chance it. Some people are certified and some people aren''t. Can you call, don''t say who you are, but say that you are a client of X''s and wanted to buy a GC for your pregnant friend and was wondering if she was certified? That might get around the issue...but I wouldn''t count on her being certified just because the place offers pregnancy massages.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 6:32:55 PM
Author: Blenheim
NF, is that much water for twin pregnancies or all? Yikes. I don't think I'm meeting that.

Water is really important for all pregnancies, but is especially important for anyone at risk for pre-term labor (i.e., those with multiples!) as it can help relax your uterus and thus keep contractions at bay. Mayo Clinic recommends 10 cups of liquid (not soda, but juices count) for pregnant women and 13 for breastfeeding women. It's a lot, but totally doable if you just keep water near you all day. Straws help too.

 

[Blenheim]

Does milk count towards the 10 cups? Because in that case, I''m meeting that. I don''t know why, but expressing it in liters just makes it seem like a lot more.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 6:53:47 PM
Author: Blenheim
Does milk count towards the 10 cups? Because in that case, I'm meeting that. I don't know why, but expressing it in liters just makes it seem like a lot more.

Hehe, sorry. It makes it seem so much less to me! 2.5 liters or 10 cups, the liters just seem so much easier! I'm sure milk counts, it's a healthy liquid. The reason soda doesn't count is because the sugar and caffeine can dehydrate you.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Fiery- im soo sorry about friend..as someone who has done ivf I can totally understand where she is coming from its a very difficult situation that many can''t quite understand. Wow@ 40k...im still paying out of the wazoo as well but goodness poor thing. I think as a friend she may not be upset that u r pregnant in case u actually want to tell her. I know if my bf were pg I would be elated and so happy for her no matter my own circumstances but if u decide not to tell her..u can always say that u took some meds for something and can''t drink good luck

Speaking of bff''s ..my own is having a wedding in jan and I am maid of honor..thank goodness I asked someone to help me plan the bachlorette party..im having my dress custom made...goodness wondering if I will be able to stand for the ceremony.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Robbie- I wouldn''t do massage either...I prefer facials and mani/pedis...I am going with bff to a spa in jan b4 her wedding and I passed on massage and chose the facial..maybe u can change to something else??

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 11/18/2008 7:00:49 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/18/2008 6:53:47 PM
Author: Blenheim
Does milk count towards the 10 cups? Because in that case, I''m meeting that. I don''t know why, but expressing it in liters just makes it seem like a lot more.

Hehe, sorry. It makes it seem so much less to me! 2.5 liters or 10 cups, the liters just seem so much easier! I''m sure milk counts, it''s a healthy liquid. The reason soda doesn''t count is because the sugar and caffeine can dehydrate you.

Oh, 2.5 liters actually seems really reasonable. It''s just that when you said "a few", I was picturing 4-5 liters which I am pretty sure I am not getting.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/18/2008 8:11:47 PM
Author: Blenheim

Date: 11/18/2008 7:00:49 PM

Author: neatfreak

Date: 11/18/2008 6:53:47 PM

Author: Blenheim

Does milk count towards the 10 cups? Because in that case, I''m meeting that. I don''t know why, but expressing it in liters just makes it seem like a lot more.

Hehe, sorry. It makes it seem so much less to me! 2.5 liters or 10 cups, the liters just seem so much easier! I''m sure milk counts, it''s a healthy liquid. The reason soda doesn''t count is because the sugar and caffeine can dehydrate you.

Oh, 2.5 liters actually seems really reasonable. It''s just that when you said ''a few'', I was picturing 4-5 liters which I am pretty sure I am not getting.

Lol. Nope. Meant 2-3.

 

[nycbkgirl]

so i need to have a vent moment..havent had one of those in a while..if anyone is bored and cares to listen so here goes:

tonite we had a family dinner for my moms bday...so as i am trying to drink more per advice i bring my own bottle of seltzer wherever i go (its the only thing at the moment i can drink lots of and like)...and there was nothing else for me to drink there..so first my mom asks for some of my seltzer..im like ok but not happy...then my sister asks for me to wet her napkins with my seltzer and i do say something..im like this is my water that i have to drink..and she gives me an attitude,,,

and then the attitude continues thereafter...she was sittin in the living room and my niece needed help dumping her potty in the toilet so my sister just sits there and screams for my mom (who is cleaning in the kitchen) to come and go with her...im like hello u r just sitting there doing nothing and she gives me attitude ..like mind ur business in a nasty way,,,so then i overhear her telling my mother something.

when she leaves my mom says something like o please dont mind ur sister and about being cheap on my seltzer...it just drove me over the edge! im like do u ppl understand that i am pg with twins here! i am trying my best to be mindful of everything i need to do here and bringin and counting bottles i drink helps me with that..im like its disgusting that u r even talking about this ,..such nonsense and not to understand that i have needs now and to take the stuff away from me is ridiculous...so once i get upset...i start really stressing and crying and its terrible...and i know how bad it is for me to stress but im soooo pissed over this nonsense that i just wanna sit in my room by myself until babies are born...i said if u want to think of me as cheap or petty then do that bc i dont care...im doing whats best for me and my babies from now on ..if u dont want to consider my needs then fine.

i know how stupid and minor this is but i guess im sooo hormonal...i just cant even take things lightly! ugh sorry had to let it out..feel better.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 9:43:01 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
so i need to have a vent moment..havent had one of those in a while..if anyone is bored and cares to listen so here goes:

tonite we had a family dinner for my moms bday...so as i am trying to drink more per advice i bring my own bottle of seltzer wherever i go (its the only thing at the moment i can drink lots of and like)...and there was nothing else for me to drink there..so first my mom asks for some of my seltzer..im like ok but not happy...then my sister asks for me to wet her napkins with my seltzer and i do say something..im like this is my water that i have to drink..and she gives me an attitude,,,

and then the attitude continues thereafter...she was sittin in the living room and my niece needed help dumping her potty in the toilet so my sister just sits there and screams for my mom (who is cleaning in the kitchen) to come and go with her...im like hello u r just sitting there doing nothing and she gives me attitude ..like mind ur business in a nasty way,,,so then i overhear her telling my mother something.

when she leaves my mom says something like o please dont mind ur sister and about being cheap on my seltzer...it just drove me over the edge! im like do u ppl understand that i am pg with twins here! i am trying my best to be mindful of everything i need to do here and bringin and counting bottles i drink helps me with that..im like its disgusting that u r even talking about this ,..such nonsense and not to understand that i have needs now and to take the stuff away from me is ridiculous...so once i get upset...i start really stressing and crying and its terrible...and i know how bad it is for me to stress but im soooo pissed over this nonsense that i just wanna sit in my room by myself until babies are born...i said if u want to think of me as cheap or petty then do that bc i dont care...im doing whats best for me and my babies from now on ..if u dont want to consider my needs then fine.

i know how stupid and minor this is but i guess im sooo hormonal...i just cant even take things lightly! ugh sorry had to let it out..feel better.

It's not stupid, sounds like they were being selfish and insensitive! Take space from them if you need it, looking after yourself is all that matters right now.

 

[nycbkgirl]

thanks DD-
needed to hear that bc for a moment i thought i was maybe being selfish. im feeling like im sorry i take things so personally and get uspet but little things do upset me esp now!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 11/18/2008 10:11:48 PM
Author: nycbkgirl
thanks DD-
needed to hear that bc for a moment i thought i was maybe being selfish. im feeling like im sorry i take things so personally and get uspet but little things do upset me esp now!

Well, I am selfish about my space, time, and needs, so maybe I am not the best litmus test

Hopefully some more selfless people will chime in!

 

[nycbkgirl]

But u know what...im beginning to realize we do need to be selfish esp for the sake of our babies..so hey if they don''t like it...they know what to do

 

[neatfreak]

Ok, my two cents about it is that it probably wasn''t something to get stressed about that they wanted some of your seltzer. If you bring something to someone''s house like that, especially family, I think they assume it''s fair game. They probably didn''t realize that you were trying to keep track of how much you drink and that it''s the only thing you can get down right now.

That being said, you are crazy hormonal and are allowed to blow things out of proportion whenever you want right now!

And it does sound like they were being completely insensitive overall, and that it was just a stressful night. And with hormones plus family stress even the smallest things can become magnified.

I agree with DD, just take a break from them if they are stressing you out. Not worth your time or stress if they don''t understand that you are having a hard time right now. You don''t need it!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Thanks neat! I just went to sleep right away last nite bc that was the only way I could stop from stressing...I guess they don''t realize how much I worry about things and how serious I take things such as drinking water..its not something I take lightly and maybe they really didn''t know that..so in essence it wasn''t specifically about seltzer but things as a whole that just got me to the breaking point.

Thanks for listening and alway appreciate ur advice..esp the one where im allowed to be fully hormonal! I agree! lol

 

[ljmorgan]

Date: 11/18/2008 6:20:45 PM
Author: robbie3982
Ok guys, I have a dilemma. I won a gift certificate for an hour long massage in September during a vendor fair at Curves. I found out I was pregnant a few days later and miscarried the week after and was kind of removed from the world for a bit.


Fast forward 5 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again. I remembered my gift certificate and realized that it expires on 12/31.


The woman who does the massages is also a member at Curves as is my mom and a bunch of other people I know in the community. Only 2 of my very close friends know that I''m pregnant. No one else is being told until Christmas when I''ll be past 12 weeks.


I know I need to tell the massage therapist that I''m pregnant, but I don''t want to tell her before everyone else because I really don''t know her well enough to trust her with the secret so I set up an appointment for the last week in December (I''ll be 13w3d) and figured I''d tell her when I get there.


Pregnancy massage is definitely listed in the brochure, and the woman is an RN and a Certified Massage Therapist and has national certification in therapeutic massage and bodywork, but it doesn''t say anything about being certified in pregnancy massage. Is this an issue?


Also, any idea if it would be an issue to tell her when I get there that I''m pregnant? Is there anything that she might need for a pregnancy massage that she wouldn''t for a non-pregnancy massage?

Robbie, I get massages often and the only difference I''ve found now with the pregnancy massages are that now that it''s uncomfortable for me to lie on my stomach, they let me prop one of my sides and my neck with pillows. They also don''t recommend that you lie on your back after you begin your second trimester, but again I''ve been doing that until I''m comfortable, and when the lady asked if I could lie on my back for a little while, I said sure.

At 13 weeks be mindful that a lot of massage therapists will be weary, as many will not perform massages during the first trimester. At 13 weeks I can''t think of anything special you would need though, so if you don''t want to tell her that you''re pregnant, just ask that she not use heavy pressure. I would not go for heavy muscle work, I would recommend going for relaxation purposes and asking for light pressure.

 

[Kaleigh]

Have you had massages before Robbie? I aslk only because I had one ages ago, and got sick from it. If you don''t want to tell her you''re pregnant, tell her you don''t like heavy massages and prefer the light touch.....

 

[mela lu]

Robbie - There is a "risk" involved in the first trimester, so most massage therapists will not do massage on someone because of the risks and legal ramifications if someone were to miscarry. That said, in the second tri, you can have a massage but you should tell them because their are pressure points they will avoid (that can stimulate labour) and also depending on how much you're showing, you may or may not be comfy on your stomach. YEY! Have fun! I love massages and go for one monthly.

NYCBK - don't worry

. you are entitled to your wacky hormone days

. I think that water sitch was a combo of their 'misunderstanding' your intent for bringing the water in the first place, and your feelings a bit on edge due to pregnancy. I'm glad that you slept it off

Sadly, I think we're all in for a few more of these "moments" in the future.

LOL

Pandora - Love that you're incorporating Pandora into your baby name! CUTE! And might I say....your cravings are screaming GIRL GIRL GIRL to me.

ETA: Fiery, so sad to hear about your friend. Life is so unfair sometimes. As for your tasting party. If you are really adamant about not telling your BFF about your pregnancy, then I'd just take small sips and play along. A small amount of wine will not harm your baby, and since you're driving, it provides a perfect alibi for not finishing the glass. GL girl!

mela, 13w4d

 

[Sabine]

Mela, I was thinking of you today...

My school''s Food and Nutrition class made soup and shared it with the faculty during lunch, and guess what it was?!?

That''s right, good ol'' lentils! I had never had them before, but the soup was really good. I was channeling you as I ate it, hoping some of your magic pregnant dust would rub off on me for a bfp soon!

 

[mela lu]

oooh Sabine - lentil soup! You''re so lucky!

I''ll dust you with my powerful lentil baby dust. So potent - it can defy time and space

 

[nycbkgirl]

2 funny wit the lentils! LOL.

 

[ljmorgan]

Robbie I was interested in the whole massage thing after I posted this morning, and found the following information called "Myth or Massage" from an expectant mother''s guide. Hope that this helps!

Myth #1: I can''t receive a massage during my first trimester because it may cause a miscarriage.
Fact: You absolutely can receive a massage anytime during your pregnancy, even during labor and especially post partum. You can even receive deep tissue, except for the abdominal muscles. There is no physiological reason to skip massage in the first trimester. Some day-spas will refuse to see a woman in her early pregnancy simply because the statistical chance of her miscarrying is greater and they wish to avoid any liability the woman may, in her distress, place on them. At this state, however, the uterus is still only the size of a plum and therefore protected by the bony structure of the pelvic cavity. Massage produces endorphins, lowers catecholamine (stress hormones) and can lower blood pressure. This is reason enough to schedule a massage during the first trimester. Begin your pregnancy with a happy and healthy mind and body!

Myth #2: Massaging my feet will send me into labor.
Fact: Absolutely untrue. If this were the case, women all over the world would go into preterm labor from simply putting on socks! While it is believed that acupressure points on the ankle, feet, shin and hands can bring on labor, it must be specific work with the set intention of stimulating the uterus, not just simply massaging the feet to relieve swelling and joint pain. A trained pregnancy massage therapist knows these points and would work specifically and accurately, very close to the due date and/or during labor to stimulate uterine contractions. Pregnant women need their feet massaged! Gentle Swedish massage helps tremendously with edema and joint pain and is safe for all women who have not had or are having pre-term labor.

Myth #3: I really miss sleeping face down. Sidelying position won''t be as relaxing.
Fact: Actually, sidelying position is just as comfortable if not more due to the special ergonomic cushions that allow your spine to be in perfect position to relax all your back muscles. If you receive a massage face down, even with table holes or pillows, your low back is still compressed and does not receive the appropriate massage. (After all, aren''t you primarily coming in for a massage to relieve back pain?) The hole is never one-size-fits-all, so you will either hang through and strain your uterine ligaments or it will cause pressure on the sides of your belly.

Myth #4: I can''t receive deep tissue massage.
Fact: As a fetus grows in utero, the woman''s muscular and skeletal systems instinctively adjust to her new center of gravity. The muscles used to keep you upright need to work harder, therefore creating adhesions that are most successfully relieved through deep tissue massage. You may have heard that "toxins" are released into the body when you receive a massage (especially a deep tissue massage). This is true in the fact that waste products are released from the tissue, but it is minimal and does not cause harm to the mother or the baby. The certified prenatal massage therapists are specifically trained to administer the appropriate deep tissue massage to the muscle groups that need attention.

 

[mela lu]

good massage info Lindsay! Thanks for posting

Here is my update.

I've been spotting for a week now. Brown, scant, spotting.
My Middie called me today with the results of my 13 week ultrasound. Apparently I have a "medium" sized Subchorionic Hematoma between the placenta and uterus (which I found out about last week at the u/s). Middie is not concerned about it now, and wants to monitor it to make sure it doesn't grow. so that's okay for now.

The other thing is I have a Arcuate shaped uterus. Apparently this isn't as bad as a having a heart-shaped uterus. More of a slight irregularity. Again, she's not worried, and is going to monitor my pregnancy carefully to make sure I'm not at risk of PTL, or a breach baby as a result of the ute. She felt that having this type of uterus does not mean something will go wrong as a result. Her analogy was this: Being short isn't necessarily a bad thing; it's just bad if you can't reach something.

It made more sense to me when she said it over the phone (LOL) but writing it out here didn't make it sound as good. haahahaaaaaaa.

Anyways. Bottom line is that I'm going to be monitored closely as a result of these 2 new ute findings.

 

[Courtneylub]

This should be called the Lentil thread!! I''ve never had them, so I will have to give it a shoot.

My hormones have been making me bonkers. I feel that I haven''t been out of line though, just a little more honest and open about my feelings and maybe my fuse is a little shorter with certain people.

My lower/mid back started hurting today...in a place it''s never hurt before, so I''m guessing that means I''m starting to carry this baby! I need to get out of the heels and go buy some flats. But in turn, that means I need to buy shorter pants! Anyone have suggestions for this? Flats and shorter pants, that is.

Lindsey, that''s great info. All this talk about massages is making want to go demand one from the DH!

 

[ljmorgan]

Mela why can''t things just go perfectly smoothly? I only ever want to hear "wow your pregnancy is totally normal and everything is 100% perfect!" Haha. Bless your heart, not the most fun news, but it sounds like your midwife has a great attitude. She''ll keep an eye on things, and things will hopefully go smooth as silk!

Courtneylub I''m glad to know I''m not the only one with bonker hormones. I''ve never been one to use the "that time of the month" excuse, but I can DEFINITELY tell a difference in my ahem... emotional stability. This week has been stressful because we''re having the entire interior of our home painted, which means that my house is in a state of complete disarray. The painters finished the master bedroom and bath today, so ever since I got home I was putting things back, totally cleaning things out, etc. My husband comes upstairs and I get all teary eyed and frustrated because I didn''t feel that he was helping me as much as he should have. I mean, normally I would say, "hey get your butt up here!" But he brought me a glass of water, and just gave me a loooong hug, and I could tell by the instant sense of relief that washed over me that I was tired, dehydrated, and emotional!