Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/5/2009 4:54:17 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 3/5/2009 4:45:22 PM
Author: TravelingGal

DD, I think the closeness definitely helps and if you do take care of a lot of their needs (nipping things in the bud), the cry a lot less.

But not to be a downer (and a head''s up for all the moms to be)...

Babies don''t cry as much in the first couple of weeks. Hardly at all unless they are hungry. They sleep pretty well and if you manage to get them to eat, they are pretty happy campers. My theory is that they do this so the hospital staff doesn''t have to be too concerned about them!

They get fussier for some reason in weeks 3 to 4 onward, even when you''re still doing everything right. Almost everyone I know has had this experience, although the degree varies widely. Part of the problem may be that you''re crazy sleep deprived by that point so your patience is stretched even thinner.

I''m only pointing this out because a few of my friends did not know this and thought they got the easiest baby in the world - got lulled into a false sense of security and really struggled when their babies became ''difficult.'' Somehow, knowing that this happens really helped me with Amelia. And even then, it was a really grueling 6 weeks considering she wasn''t that bad at all.

DEFINITELY enjoy the quiet while you can!!!

Too true, I consider myself warned! My friends have all commented on this too.

I left my comments here in the preggo thread just because many of these women may be contemplating getting help or not before they have their babies, so I thought it would be most useful for them to hear these opinions, rather than the moms who have BTDT and have the T-shirt.

Yeah, I can see how it would cross over both threads.

 

[mela lu]

Date: 3/5/2009 4:54:17 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 3/5/2009 4:45:22 PM

Author: TravelingGal


DD, I think the closeness definitely helps and if you do take care of a lot of their needs (nipping things in the bud), the cry a lot less.


But not to be a downer (and a head''s up for all the moms to be)...


Babies don''t cry as much in the first couple of weeks. Hardly at all unless they are hungry. They sleep pretty well and if you manage to get them to eat, they are pretty happy campers. My theory is that they do this so the hospital staff doesn''t have to be too concerned about them!

They get fussier for some reason in weeks 3 to 4 onward, even when you''re still doing everything right. Almost everyone I know has had this experience, although the degree varies widely. Part of the problem may be that you''re crazy sleep deprived by that point so your patience is stretched even thinner.


I''m only pointing this out because a few of my friends did not know this and thought they got the easiest baby in the world - got lulled into a false sense of security and really struggled when their babies became ''difficult.'' Somehow, knowing that this happens really helped me with Amelia. And even then, it was a really grueling 6 weeks considering she wasn''t that bad at all.


DEFINITELY enjoy the quiet while you can!!!

Too true, I consider myself warned! My friends have all commented on this too.


I left my comments here in the preggo thread just because many of these women may be contemplating getting help or not before they have their babies, so I thought it would be most useful for them to hear these opinions, rather than the moms who have BTDT and have the T-shirt.

This is a great place to talk about it! I like hearing all the scenarios for the first weeks. I''m such a Newb, that hearing all you''re experiences help me manage my expectations. Um, what is "BTDT"?

 

[TravelingGal]

Mela, Been There, Done That.

 

[Sabine]

Back from the u/s...and it''s a....BOY!!! I just about fell of the table when u/s tech told us, we were so sure it was a girl! We''re so excited though! The only thing that was weird was that she had trouble getting a money shot, and when she finally did, it didn''t really look like much to either of dh or me, but the tech sounded totally sure. EEEeee, I''m so freaking excited!

ETA, Dreamer, what an absolute cutie!!!

 

[puffy]

DD Hunter is such a precious little guy!!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Sabine- congrats congrats..welcome to team blue

DD- yeh I also hear in th beginning its quiet but then the gases and colic kicks in...friend of mine is having such a hard time...baby cries allll the time...and she is so used to being in somones arms and carried so that''s what she wants all the time...as soon as u put her down then starts the hysteria...so I don''t want babies to get used to that. Difficult situation

 

[Blenheim]

Thanks, girls!

And thanks for the nursing tank recommendations - I''ll need to run out and get some.

My work baby shower''s tomorrow and I''m EXCITED.

Sabine - congrats on your boy!!!

Sapphire - you''re generally fine flying for most of pregnancy, unless you''re high risk and your doc thinks it''s not a good idea. I think the only issue later on is the possibility that you may go into labor while in the air or in another town.

Fieryred - Grrrr to your MIL. I don''t know why anyone, other than husbands and care providers, would just assume that they''d be invited.

My dad and I have been going around in circles with this too. I keep telling hiim that we''ll let him know when the baby''s here. He can''t just show up if he doesn''t know I''m in labor.

I''m also trying to get our parents used to me accidentally leaving my phone off or in my car or something and not responding to messages immediately, so that they don''t jump to the conclusion that I MUST be in labor if I weren''t to call back immediately in a few weeks.

Policies vary by hospital, so you could always just blame your hospital or your doctor. I think that the one that we''d transfer to if needed allows a max of 2 support people. In my case, that would be hubby and midwife (who also works as a doula, so she''d work in that role).

Viszla - hey, no problem! It was really fun playing dress up to see if it would still fit, even if I didn''t wear it out. Your wedding dress plan sounds like a good plan to me.

DD- Hunter is just so adorable. I love his little chubby body and all of his facial expressions.

Thanks for posting!

Mela - I AM impressed! Wow, you know me too well. My DH is uber laid back too, and we got into a fight last weekend because he didn''t understand how emptying all of the kitchen cabinets out and scrubbing everything down and putting it back was more important with him installing a new motherboard on his computer. And logically, I''m not sure why it was more important either. It just was; blame the hormones. He finally redeemed himself by finding our wedding photos. It was hard to be mad at him after that. But I''m not really sure why we do that. And it''s getting worse for me the closer that we get. Especially seeing as he still doesn''t have a job, so hormonal me thinks that he has plenty of time to make the house absolutely spotless at ALL times JUST IN CASE I were to go into labor early. I''m trying so hard to be patient. It''s hard. Anyways, I can sympathize but I''m struggling enough myself that I''m not really in a position to offer advice.

Visitors after birth: Even if it''s the mommas posting, I''m really glad to hear all of the different perspectives. I''m sure it''s much more useful to us pregnant women so I think this thread is probably the best one for it to be on. I''m still really not sure what I want. My gut is basically with what Tgal/Curly are saying. I don''t tend to want people around when I''m not feeling well, and I''m not really excited about having any house guests once the baby''s here. But I don''t want to deny all the grandparents the opportunity to see the baby, and if I need help I don''t want to shoot myself in the foot. And they all live far enough away that they can''t just pop over to do a load of laundry, or even just for a day or two. I keep hoping that I"m magically decide something.

I''m also finding myself getting annoyed at people much more lately, and I''m wondering if that''s going to continue even after the birth. If so, it may be the few visitors the better.


My poll, continued:

Boy - 3
Fiery
Mela (but only with a can of silly string held to her nostril)
Blenheim''s DH
Girl - 8
Mandarine
Courtney
Sabine
Fisher
China
Nycbk
Pandora
Blenheim

Which is funny, because my coworkers are mostly leaning towards boy.

 

[Mrs]

Hey ladies! Just learned that they’re going to schedule a c-section for me – likely for the 16th!!! I’ve been crying a lot about it, feeling VERY disappointed about missing out on the right of passage that is L&D - I wrote out a nice long pity party post for myself here asking for support but just decided to scrap that and focus on the positive. Feeling sorry for myself will get me nowhere and the fact is: I’m a very lucky lady to be having a baby at all!! So I’m getting psyched! This little girl will likely be here a week from Monday!!! WOW! I’m gonna be a mom! Granted a sore, stitched up mom with a hole in her belly but a mom none-the-less! YAY!

DD, your baby is just gorgeous – thanks for sharing those pics with us and for continuing to give us all insight into your experience. You’ve been such a help to everyone here!

Tacori, Lili, TGal, sbde, puffy and Curly, thank you for your insights regarding what to expect, nursing wear, and your experiences with having help around when the baby’s born!! I think it’s so great that you read up on this thread and offer your thoughts to us expecting moms!

Sabine, yay for team blue!! I’m so excited for you!!

Nyc, I’m sorry to hear you were in such pain last night! I hope you feel better soon!

China, congrats on the house!!

Mela, I’m sorry your hormones are making you feel angry and frustrated!

Blen, you look wonderful in the dress!! Enjoy your shower tomorrow!

Sapphire, air travel that early on in the pregnancy is safe. You going somewhere fun??

Natalina, congrats on the stroller deal. I have seen that offer on mamabargains before and wondered if it was a good one. I’m glad you took advantage of it!

Fiery, my mom kinda weaseled her was into the delivery room in theory as well but now that I’m have a c-section, it’s not something I have to worry about. I was planning to make it a game time decision since I was on the fence about allowing her in there with me. Good luck navigating those tricky waters!

Vizsla, I hope the cysts turn out to be nothing at all! Sorry you have to worry about that!

Everyone else, I hope you’re having a great day!!

Mrs,
37 weeks, 6 days

 

[natalina]

Oh DD, Hunter is just gorgeous- what a perfect little baby boy! You must be so unbelievably proud! So glad to hear all is going well. Thank you for all of your updates and in-the-moment advice. I''m taking notes so I''m ready

.

Fiery-

to your MIL''s comment! Eeek! I don''t blame you for making up the little white lie! I would die if my MIL said that to me!

 

[natalina]

Sabine- Congrats on finding out you''re having a BOY!! Oh, how exciting! Names?

Mrs- sorry to hear that you are having to go the route of c-section against your preference. But I definitely think you are now focused on the right thing- your beautiful, healthy baby girl will be here soon! Yay!

 

[Courtneylub]

Congrats Sabine! Yay for a boy!!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Mrs- so exciting to have THE date but I totally understand how u feel about the c ....I was all for it in beginning now im feeling scared,worried and upset that I won''t get those moments either. But im glad we are in the right place where we understand that its for the best and all that''s impt.... beautiful healthy baby(ies) in the end. So excited for u..can''t wait to see pics

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Blen, you bring up a good point. When Tessa was born we had NO family at all close to us. Closest was 8 hours away (ILs) so it wasn''t like my mom (from WI) could just stop over and watch the baby while I took a shower/nap/ate etc...I will say thanksgiving fell around 3 weeks after her birth and that was hard. I know I stayed up too much (didn''t want to miss out) when I should have been sleeping/resting. Too many people in my home. But all in all (for us) help was welcomed and needed. Also depends on the baby. Tessa has always been tough

Mrs, I admit I do not follow the thread that closely and don''t really have the time or energy to address every person. I tend to stick closer when I know what I have said was helpful and stop reading when people don''t seem to acknowledge my opinion (so thank you!) I started looking again when I knew DD was close. But I am glad you came to the mommy board to ask your question (even if I have no helpful advice).

nybc, there is the calm before the storm. I think the storm starts around 3 weeks (but I blocked it out. Haha). I will repeat...WHITE NOISE, SWING, SWADDLE, SUCK (pacis/nursing). Those 4 things possibly saved my life, my DH''s life and T''s for sure.

mela, I am like TGal and try not to talk about my L&D to preggos. Fact is I am STILL shell shocked about it (almost a year and a half later).

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Hi preggos! I just wanted to pop in to also comment about having others in the delivery room with you and about having help postpartum.

Once I started pushing I had my mom and my DH in the room with me and I''m so glad I had it that way. They both helped me focus and since my son was born pre-term and I had GD he had to go to the NICU immediately after birth, as per the standard procedure of the hospital. My DH went with James to the NICU and my mom stayed with me. I am so grateful that I had her there because I had some complications and really needed the support.

My mom also took 2 weeks off of work and came over to our place every morning before DH left for work. She took care of James if necessary and let me sleep. Once I got up I took over baby duty and she did the household chores, shopping, etc. It was so nice having her around - and we don''t get along all of the time either. It was also great having somebody that actually knew what they were doing around when dealing with a newborn.

Good luck mommies-to-be and I can''t wait to meet your little ones!

 

[Burk]

DD~Hunter is beautiful!

My experience on visitors/helpers after baby: I did it myself. DH went back to work when T was 5 days old and I was on my own from then on. My mom came by and did some laundry for me a few times, emptied my dishwasher for me once but that''s about it. She would come by to "help" (she lives about a half hour away) and there was never anything for her to do because I''m anal and would usually have it done!

 

[sunkist]

Sabine, congrats on it being a boy!! That will be so wonderful

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/5/2009 6:53:13 PM
Author: Mrs

Hey ladies! Just learned that they’re going to schedule a c-section for me – likely for the 16th!!! I’ve been crying a lot about it, feeling VERY disappointed about missing out on the right of passage that is L&D - I wrote out a nice long pity party post for myself here asking for support but just decided to scrap that and focus on the positive. Feeling sorry for myself will get me nowhere and the fact is: I’m a very lucky lady to be having a baby at all!! So I’m getting psyched! This little girl will likely be here a week from Monday!!! WOW! I’m gonna be a mom! Granted a sore, stitched up mom with a hole in her belly but a mom none-the-less! YAY

Mrs, I''m really sorry you''re not getting the birth you want, but there are always upsides!

My mother who has always been totally anti elective-c sections has now hit the time of life when her pelvic floor muscles are not doing the job properly and has been on at me to see if I can get a c-section to avoid buggering up my nether regions for the future!

Main thing is that you both come through healthy and safe, and at least you have time to mentally prepare in advance. Hope you feel better about it soon.

Mela & Blen - can I have some of whatever you two are on. DH keeps asking when I''m going to get the urge to clean the house (I am not a domestic goddess by any stretch of the imagination) and put things away. Since I''ve still got a chest of drawers and a cupboard to paint and put together it had probably better strike soon!

Sabine - Congrats on the boy - I know what you mean about the shock. DH and I were so convinced we were having a boy that it took a while to get our heads round the whole girl idea (and I still plan to check at my 35 week scan just in case they are wrong - not that it would matter since everything we''ve bought is gender neutral anyway. I am not loving the pink that they have in shops at the moment!).

DD - cute pics of Hunter!

 

[cdt1101]

sabine - congrats on boy!!!! i have to laugh since i was wrong again!! hehehe

Blen - I guessed boy for you, but since i''m never right you''ll probably have girl

But i''m keeping boy!!

It''s interesting to hear the different views on people in the room and help after baby comes. I don''t have family super close (all at least 2 hour car ride away). But I tend to want to do things by myself, and I cannot imagine having my mom around after the baby is born! She''d drive me insane

As for people in the room, i only want DH. And i will make sure nurses enforce that. DH''s family lives near by, so they will likely be at the hospital. His sister actually asked to be in the room BEFORE I was even preggo!! I''m sorry, but i cannot imagine having my DH''s sister see my like that. Not my thing, I''m a very modest person usually....so no thank you. But I anticipate her trying to get in

I didn''t have time to take a pic this morning, but will post one when i get home after work.

25w1d

 

[Courtneylub]

For L&D, I''d like my DH, my mom, and my cousin who recently had a baby in the room with me. I''m lucky that both my mom and cousin told me that whatever I wanted, goes. They will leave if I ask them to and they will be there if I ask them to. No feelings will be hurt. I know that I may completely change my mind about who is in there, but that''s the plan so far.

When we get home, my mom is staying with us for just a few days. I know she will be a big help around the house and so will DH. He has to return to work, but he only works in the afternoons Mon-Thurs. When my mom leaves, my Grandma will stay with us for as long as we want her to. She is wonderful with babies and will be a huge help with everything. DH says his mom may also stay, but I''m honestly not real excited about that. I doubt she will. She''s actually my Grandma''s age, but much more frail and kind of looney. My Grandma is like my 2nd mom. She''s young at heart and very energetic.

This is my first baby and I''m not afraid to have the help around! When I''m ready for anyone or everyone to leave, then that''s it. I''m not sure how smoothly that would go over with MIL, but my family will not take offense.

 

[Courtneylub]

32 weeks, 2 days. Bleh...my arms are spreading.

 

[fieryred33143]

Sabine-A BOY?!?!

I was totally wrong on that one. I was 100% certain you were having a girl! Oh well...that''s one more boyfriend for my princess (she likes diamonds and so does her mom)

Courtney-You are all belly and you look wonderful.

DD-I''m so in love with Hunter. He''s so gorgeous.

Mela-If you find a trick that works with your husband, please share because I''m going through the same thing. He seems to think that July is soooo far off in the distance but it really isn''t. We''re already in the 3rd month of the year.


Re: Help. My mom will be here for a few weeks and I want her here. She''s just so good with babies. Plus, she lives far (4 hours away) and I want her to bond with the baby before she leaves because the next time we see her will be in November for Thanksgiving. Mr. Fiery is going to take 2 weeks off but only after my mom leaves (no point in having them both there). She doesn''t want to be in the delivery room though.

NYC-Tylenol PM is on my safe list.

Blen-Mr. Fiery and I talked about it last night and I told him that if it wasn''t because my mother and brothers live so far, I wouldn''t even tell anyone that I was going into labor. I would just wait untill we''ve had some time with her alone before calling everyone to let them know she arrived. But my mom and brothers will be in my home so it''ll be hard to hide. (LOL I just had a mental picture of me sneaking out of the house). The only "cute" part is that my brothers want to have a "job." So I assigned one to drive my car to the hospital and the other to make sure we lock our door and to call everyone when we''re at the hospital. They''re very excited about their jobs.

Mrs-I know that the c-section wasn''t part of the plan but as long as you and your girl are going to be fine, that''s all that matters. I can''t wait to meet her

 

[cdt1101]

Courtney - you look GREAT!!! Seriously so cute! I REALLY hope i look that good at 32 weeks!!!

 

[natalina]

Courtney- You look fantastic! I don''t see "spreading" arms at all!

Do you guys know if peppermint tea is okay while preggo? I know some herbal teas are not ok, but wasn''t sure about peppermint. It is 100% peppermint leaves, no other herbs or green tea.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/6/2009 10:26:37 AM
Author: natalina
Courtney- You look fantastic! I don''t see ''spreading'' arms at all!

Do you guys know if peppermint tea is okay while preggo? I know some herbal teas are not ok, but wasn''t sure about peppermint. It is 100% peppermint leaves, no other herbs or green tea.

Yes it''s fine - they recommend it for bad morning sickess.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Court- u look amazing!

Fiery- thanks ...I figure it was ok but don''t know if I can take it every single night...without tyl pm I won''t be able to sleep at night bc I need a pain killer ...the pain is excruciating....

any thoughts pandora??

 

[natalina]

Thanks Pandora! No morning sickness yet (fingers crossed), I just think it's delicious!

 

[E B]

Another quick check-in from me! Please, don''t throw anything!

Sabine- Congratulations on your little boy and welcome to TEAM BLUE!

Courtney- You look adorable, tiny arms and all.

DD- Hunter is precious beyond words.

I know I''m forgetting a bunch of people, but I''ve only had time to skim. We moved into our new house yesterday and slept here for the first time last night. We were moving from 5:00 am until past 10:00 last night, putting things together and away. We''re still organizing this morning (and will be for the next few days) but I thought I''d quickly hop onto PS and say hello!

22w1d

 

[fieryred33143]

So now Mr. Fiery wants a yellow nursery and not a pink nursery. I swear sometimes that man...

What colors go well with yellow? I''m thinking maybe yellow/white/pink? But if I do this combo, a cherry wood crib wouldn''t look good right? I''d probably have to go with a white crib...right?

 

[mela lu]

Sabine CONGRATS on your little Bambino!!!!!!!! I''m 2 for 2! haha. You''re going to be a great mommy to him!

Courtney - you look GORGE. Seriously. I hope to look that good at 32 weeks. We are our own worst critics, and I think you look amazing!

Mrs. Tough Blow. I can imagine if I was in your shoes I too would be really disappointed with the C-section.

But...as we''ve all said, the baby is the real prize and I think you are doing the right thing by focusing on the positive. You''re almost there!! PRIZE TIME!

Fiery - I''d go white crib with a yellow/pink/white scheme.

Ebree - good luck with the move!!

Natalina - I was a MASSIVE mint tea drinker prior to Pregnancy (4+cups a day). I''ve cut it down to one a day max, as I feel that herbals have medicinal qualities and moderation is key. It is safe to enjoy, but as I said, in moderation

This weekend is a MAJOR outdoor clean up and re-shuffling of our basement storage. Pray for DH. I may kill him and his laid-back attitude. Its not that he is laid back, it''s that he kinda ''makes fun of me'' these days by calling me things like "Hitler" "Hormona" "Crazy" which he thinks is funny but hurts my feelings. I''ve told him this, so we''ll see if he respects my feelings by cutting it out!

Had a dream last night that my baby fell out, and I didn''t feel it, and we were SO NOT ready. We didnt even have a blanket to wrap her in. She was ugly and had a full set of terrible teef. I was devistated. Blurgh. Bad dream.
*Note. Now I''ve had two baby dreams. One was a beautiful boy, one was an ugly girl.

Madonna.

Mela 29 weeks today!

 

[Mandarine]

Sabine - Congrats on the boy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs - I''m sorry about the c-section, but you have the right attitude!!!! AT the end of the day what matters is you will have the little one in your arms safely!...that''s far more important than the ''how''...so keep celebreating you''re almost a mommy!!!

Courtney - Your belly is SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!! You look beautiful!

Fiery - I love the pink/yellow/white suggestion!....I think that would look lovely!

Mela - You crack me up! I am so sorry about the bad dream though...I know dreams can sometimes be very silly but still stress us out during the night!. I have no idea what I was dreaming last night but I was grinding my teeth SO HARD and clenching the poor jaw

.


****

I hope everyone is doing great! Sorry if I forgot some of you!!.

I''m still feeling good (fingers crossed!). Our u/s is on Monday...yayyy!!!...I hope it''s not too early to see/hear the heartbeat!. I''m practicing my ''mother skills'' with my nephews for a couple of days. I love them to pieces and they are so much fun (3 & 5 years old). My BIL is working in Europe and my sister had to go to Texas because her good friend passed the way

. It''s a very heartbreaking story and my sister was really close to her. Not sure if you guys saw in the TTC thread I posted pictures of me and my sister in the ''Race for the Cure''...anyway, we did that race in support of her friend.

Sorry that was probably not the most cheerful thing to say on a Friday...just make sure you hug your loved ones extra tight because as one Latin singer says in a song "La vida es un ratico" (Life is an instant). So let''s remember to enjoy it and to live with an attitute of gratitude

Now...where are the other belly shots!!!??

I could show you my bloated belly, but that''s not fun for anyone