taovandel
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Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers
- Thread starter Kaleigh
- Start date
snlee
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fieryred33143
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So I need to vent about my MIL...again
At my shower this past weekend in the middle of one of my mom''s games, she starts pounding her fists on the table and yelling out "we want cake." FI was mortified and told her to knock it off. And she, like a child, gets up to tell all the other children to yell it out as well. Before we knew it we had her in front of about 10 children yelling out "we want cake." FI got up and very firmly told her to sit down. She started crying. My mom stopped the game and served cake. My mom later came to me and was really sad and asked if she hadn''t been a good hostess or planned things the right way. I don''t know why MIL did that. She thought it was hilarious and had the nerve to say that FI was out of line in telling her to stop
.
The other vent I have is once again about the day of plans. I took MIL to lunch with me on Monday just so I can discuss the plans with her. Up until then, I had been letting FI handle all of the conversations about her being in the delivery room. But I decided she needed to hear it directly from me. So I said that on the day, we will call her and her husband to meet us in the hospital but that was it. We''ll have my mom, brothers (if they''re in town), and them waiting with us. When we deliver, we''ll be alone. The conversation went well...or so I thought. She said that she understood it was a private moment and she is really happy that FI will get to be there to witness his daughter''s birth. But then she calls FI yesterday to complain that it isn''t fair she can''t call her mother, sisters, and neighbors (
) to be in the hospital to wait. I''m listening to this convo as its taking place and FI handled it well. But when they ended the conversation she said "well, I don''t care I''m calling all of them anyway." FI says "well then we just won''t call you right away" and she started crying again
The whole thing makes me angry because if she wasn''t so intrusive, things would be so different between us. If she had never just assumed that she had the right to be in the room or assumed that she can tell us how to handle the day of plans then my attitude about it would be much different.
We seriously need to move lol
At my shower this past weekend in the middle of one of my mom''s games, she starts pounding her fists on the table and yelling out "we want cake." FI was mortified and told her to knock it off. And she, like a child, gets up to tell all the other children to yell it out as well. Before we knew it we had her in front of about 10 children yelling out "we want cake." FI got up and very firmly told her to sit down. She started crying. My mom stopped the game and served cake. My mom later came to me and was really sad and asked if she hadn''t been a good hostess or planned things the right way. I don''t know why MIL did that. She thought it was hilarious and had the nerve to say that FI was out of line in telling her to stop
The other vent I have is once again about the day of plans. I took MIL to lunch with me on Monday just so I can discuss the plans with her. Up until then, I had been letting FI handle all of the conversations about her being in the delivery room. But I decided she needed to hear it directly from me. So I said that on the day, we will call her and her husband to meet us in the hospital but that was it. We''ll have my mom, brothers (if they''re in town), and them waiting with us. When we deliver, we''ll be alone. The conversation went well...or so I thought. She said that she understood it was a private moment and she is really happy that FI will get to be there to witness his daughter''s birth. But then she calls FI yesterday to complain that it isn''t fair she can''t call her mother, sisters, and neighbors (
The whole thing makes me angry because if she wasn''t so intrusive, things would be so different between us. If she had never just assumed that she had the right to be in the room or assumed that she can tell us how to handle the day of plans then my attitude about it would be much different.
We seriously need to move lol
ChinaCat
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Aww Fiery, I''m sorry that this has come up again. FWIW, you seem like you are a really good DIL and are very good to her. I don''t think it''s out of line at all to decide how you want YOUR birth to go. She can cry all she wants, but I think you are right to hold firm. The cake thing just sounds weird.
Other late 3rd triers- I''m not that close to delivery, but close enough that I''m starting to get nervous. Anyone else? Seems like most preggos are just so excited or so over it and ready to deliver at the end, but I''m quite content for him to stay in for awhile longer. I just can''t picture actually HAVING a baby. Not physcially- though that''s a whole OTHER story- but actually having a little breathing thing in my house. DH and I were talking about bringing the baby home from the hospital and introducing him to our dog and I swear my palms started sweating. Not b/c that makes me nervous but b/c it is an actual moment that will happen, and it just started to seem almost real. I know it will be fine, and I know no one quite knows what they are doing and you just figure it out, but it''s so hard to get my mind around the fact that we have MADE a PERSON and he is going to be here soon!
On that same note, DH and I went and looked at a daycare the other day. We went into the 12 month old room to check it out- we walked in during snack time and 18 little faces just stared up at us. It was another one of those moments- I was like oh wow, we are going to have one of THOSE soon. They were all so cute I almost died. Half of them had little tears in their eyes (it was early, I think the parents had just dropped them off) and they were all munching on crackers at their little kid tables and waving and flirting with us. So freaking cute. Of course, those of you with dogs will appreciate this- it reminded me of doggie daycare b/c they had soft rubber pads everywhere outside where they play (easier to hose off the pee!)
Other late 3rd triers- I''m not that close to delivery, but close enough that I''m starting to get nervous. Anyone else? Seems like most preggos are just so excited or so over it and ready to deliver at the end, but I''m quite content for him to stay in for awhile longer. I just can''t picture actually HAVING a baby. Not physcially- though that''s a whole OTHER story- but actually having a little breathing thing in my house. DH and I were talking about bringing the baby home from the hospital and introducing him to our dog and I swear my palms started sweating. Not b/c that makes me nervous but b/c it is an actual moment that will happen, and it just started to seem almost real. I know it will be fine, and I know no one quite knows what they are doing and you just figure it out, but it''s so hard to get my mind around the fact that we have MADE a PERSON and he is going to be here soon!
On that same note, DH and I went and looked at a daycare the other day. We went into the 12 month old room to check it out- we walked in during snack time and 18 little faces just stared up at us. It was another one of those moments- I was like oh wow, we are going to have one of THOSE soon. They were all so cute I almost died. Half of them had little tears in their eyes (it was early, I think the parents had just dropped them off) and they were all munching on crackers at their little kid tables and waving and flirting with us. So freaking cute. Of course, those of you with dogs will appreciate this- it reminded me of doggie daycare b/c they had soft rubber pads everywhere outside where they play (easier to hose off the pee!)
fieryred33143
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Ok so now that I got my vent out of the way
Tao and November Welcome to Team Pink!! The land of dresses and bows! Sooo exciting
China-I know the cake thing was a big ''huh'' to me. As for your question...it really hasn''t hit me yet. I see the baby furniture in the house as just furniture. It hasn''t hit me that there will be a baby to use all of that furniture. And even going through her clothes, its hard to picture a person in the clothes. I say "I can''t believe we''re having a baby" almost every day to FI.
Tao and November Welcome to Team Pink!! The land of dresses and bows! Sooo exciting
China-I know the cake thing was a big ''huh'' to me. As for your question...it really hasn''t hit me yet. I see the baby furniture in the house as just furniture. It hasn''t hit me that there will be a baby to use all of that furniture. And even going through her clothes, its hard to picture a person in the clothes. I say "I can''t believe we''re having a baby" almost every day to FI.
blushingbride
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qtiekiki
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Fiery
Re: Packing for baby - you have enough outfits for the baby. I wouldn''t bring more clothes and blanket than that. Don''t bring the diapers. The hospital will give you as much as you need, if not more. They''ll refill the diapers as needed. You''ll probably have some to take home. I didn''t even change M until we were discharged. I just let her wear the long sleeve onesie the hospital put her in during our short stay.
Re: Packing for baby - you have enough outfits for the baby. I wouldn''t bring more clothes and blanket than that. Don''t bring the diapers. The hospital will give you as much as you need, if not more. They''ll refill the diapers as needed. You''ll probably have some to take home. I didn''t even change M until we were discharged. I just let her wear the long sleeve onesie the hospital put her in during our short stay.
Pandora II
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Geez Fiery I can''t believe your MIL is STILL pulling hissy fits on that one!
I think you are very brave to want to see anyone at all that quick - I wasn''t up for visitors until 3 days later.
I wouldn''t even let DH tell anyone when I went into labour - except my father and my OB friend (and boy did I need their medical advice and reassurance through a very long night) - as I didn''t want a gazillion people phoning for updates every half hour. My dilation progress was not for broadcasting to the world thank you!
I hope that everything goes super-smoothly for you and I''m sure it all will, but there are a few of us recently who have ended up with less than the perfect birth and does your MIL realise that she could sit waiting for a VERY long time and then possibly not get to see either you or the baby. When I landed in ICU, no-one but DH was allowed to see me, nor could the baby leave the unit for more than 2 days.
DH and I had a bust-up with his father who just happened to be in London on the Thursday and wanted to come and see us in hospital. I was having a particularly bad time and spent the whole day crying my eyes out and stressed to the limit, so DH told him that he couldn''t come and he threw a hissy fit. I rang him that evening and after 5 minutes he said ''Well, you sound fine I should have come anyway, I''ll ring BIL and tell them all to go and see you tomorrow'' - I was thinking WTF, I managed to pull myself together enough to talk to you and having been told what the situation is you are now telling people to come and see us - er, we''ll do that ourselves thanks (especially as you can only have 2 visitors + the father at any one time).
Euughh, weddings and babies really seem to bring out the worst in some parents! And then we get a guilt trip on top of all the other stuff! I really wish you luck!
ETA: All those panicking about having everything ready... poor Daisy doesn''t have a nursery yet: she has a chest of drawers, changing table and cupboard (as painted by moi
) along one wall in our spare room/office/junk room and a co-sleeper in our room!
My hospital bag got packed AFTER my waters had broken - and I had to pack for a week...
I don''t know what it''s like in the US, but one of the best things I took were 4 pillows (cheapy IKEA ones) and a set of labour pillowcases and post-labour pillowcases! DH used them to sleep on in the delivery room (54 hours gets tiring!) and they were so useful afterwards... propping up for breast-feeding, sitting on to avoid the hell of sitting on anything hard with stitches etc
We only get given the one pillow here by the hospital...
I think you are very brave to want to see anyone at all that quick - I wasn''t up for visitors until 3 days later.
I wouldn''t even let DH tell anyone when I went into labour - except my father and my OB friend (and boy did I need their medical advice and reassurance through a very long night) - as I didn''t want a gazillion people phoning for updates every half hour. My dilation progress was not for broadcasting to the world thank you!
I hope that everything goes super-smoothly for you and I''m sure it all will, but there are a few of us recently who have ended up with less than the perfect birth and does your MIL realise that she could sit waiting for a VERY long time and then possibly not get to see either you or the baby. When I landed in ICU, no-one but DH was allowed to see me, nor could the baby leave the unit for more than 2 days.
DH and I had a bust-up with his father who just happened to be in London on the Thursday and wanted to come and see us in hospital. I was having a particularly bad time and spent the whole day crying my eyes out and stressed to the limit, so DH told him that he couldn''t come and he threw a hissy fit. I rang him that evening and after 5 minutes he said ''Well, you sound fine I should have come anyway, I''ll ring BIL and tell them all to go and see you tomorrow'' - I was thinking WTF, I managed to pull myself together enough to talk to you and having been told what the situation is you are now telling people to come and see us - er, we''ll do that ourselves thanks (especially as you can only have 2 visitors + the father at any one time).
Euughh, weddings and babies really seem to bring out the worst in some parents! And then we get a guilt trip on top of all the other stuff! I really wish you luck!
ETA: All those panicking about having everything ready... poor Daisy doesn''t have a nursery yet: she has a chest of drawers, changing table and cupboard (as painted by moi
My hospital bag got packed AFTER my waters had broken - and I had to pack for a week...
I don''t know what it''s like in the US, but one of the best things I took were 4 pillows (cheapy IKEA ones) and a set of labour pillowcases and post-labour pillowcases! DH used them to sleep on in the delivery room (54 hours gets tiring!) and they were so useful afterwards... propping up for breast-feeding, sitting on to avoid the hell of sitting on anything hard with stitches etc
We only get given the one pillow here by the hospital...
Sapphire_Cutie
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Sapphire_Cutie
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Sapphire_Cutie
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Sapphire_Cutie
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My update is sad. Probable loss of pregnancy, no heartbeat, no yolk sac, more blood and cramping. They allow some chance that the dates are all off and there is an early pregnancy not yet visible combined with random bleeding. But that''s not really what I''m feeling and not really the most likely outcome.
Now I''m supposed to wait for the rest to pass and go back Monday for a check. Plus my boss called and to give me a heads up on a huge proposal I''ll be coordinating over the next ten days. (In her defense, she didn''t even know I was home sick.) I guess its a distraction. Sad I am.
snlee
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sunkist
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Cara, I''m so sorry for your sad news.
Tao and November, congrats on GIRLS!!! So exciting
This little guy in here is strong! I can feel him squirming all day long and then when I''m come home and lay down he starts kicking/ punching out at me. This is fun yet creepy! Here''s my belly pic for today, 18w6d.
Tao and November, congrats on GIRLS!!! So exciting
This little guy in here is strong! I can feel him squirming all day long and then when I''m come home and lay down he starts kicking/ punching out at me. This is fun yet creepy! Here''s my belly pic for today, 18w6d.
phoenixgirl
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Oh Cara, no, that's not what we were hoping for.
I'm so sorry. Hang in there and don't do this new big project for your boss if it's too much now, but I could see how it could be a needed distraction too. Just take care of you and let hubby do the same.
P.S. Thanks for the advice about my MIL (and Fiery, yours reminds me of mine . . . and made me even more resolved not to invite MIL!). It turns out DH had come to the same conclusion mainly because of the shower being at FIL's house so my #1 reason for considering inviting her -- worrying about upsetting DH -- is no longer a factor. I brought it up tonight and said I thought it would just be too hard, and he said that he agreed, but he wanted me to have a lunch or something with her and her mom and call it a shower. I'm not sure about the logicistics of this (how do I suggest/host my own "shower" lunch?) but I agree that this is a good compromise. BIL will be in town in a month and we were already planning to have a breakfast with BIL's family and MIL while he was busy, so maybe we can get SIL to say she is throwing me a little shower then, and we can just do the legwork ourselves (which basically just involves ordering cupcakes . . . that cupcake thread has had me drooling! I don't think we really need games or anything for a four person "shower").
P.S. Thanks for the advice about my MIL (and Fiery, yours reminds me of mine . . . and made me even more resolved not to invite MIL!). It turns out DH had come to the same conclusion mainly because of the shower being at FIL's house so my #1 reason for considering inviting her -- worrying about upsetting DH -- is no longer a factor. I brought it up tonight and said I thought it would just be too hard, and he said that he agreed, but he wanted me to have a lunch or something with her and her mom and call it a shower. I'm not sure about the logicistics of this (how do I suggest/host my own "shower" lunch?) but I agree that this is a good compromise. BIL will be in town in a month and we were already planning to have a breakfast with BIL's family and MIL while he was busy, so maybe we can get SIL to say she is throwing me a little shower then, and we can just do the legwork ourselves (which basically just involves ordering cupcakes . . . that cupcake thread has had me drooling! I don't think we really need games or anything for a four person "shower").
puffy
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So, something is going on in my ute, but I''m not sure if it''s the start of true labor or just false labor. I started having timeable contractions last night around 7 when we were waiting to be seated at a restaurant. They continued pretty much all night varying from about 5.5 minutes to about 3 minutes apart. They got a bit more intense (could still talk through them though) until about 2:30am when I went to bed. If I had them while I was sleeping, they weren''t bad enough to wake me up. When I woke up at 8 they were way farther apart and not as intense. Since getting out of bed though the intensity has increased (I can still talk and move through them, but I don''t think I''ll be able to if they get much stronger) and I have a feeling that if I started timing them again they''d be somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes apart. Here''s the thing though, I''m really not feeling them in my back and I''ve always heard that real labor contractions will either start in your back and wrap around to your front or start in the front and wrap around to the back. Kind of makes me think that this isn''t real labor. That and the fact that the contractions took a break overnight. I know not all labors are text book though so DH and I are going to pay close attention to the emotional sign posts. I remember reading Blen''s labor story and thinking how cool it was that even though her labor pattern wasn''t the norm, she still went through all the stages. I''m definitely still at signpost 1. The other woman in our Bradley class was in false labor for over a week! I really hope that doesn''t happen to me!
I had a touch of light brown spotting yesterday morning and a few tiny pieces of mucus that could have been part of my plug, but I know those things don''t really mean anything either and both could''ve just been from my internal on Thursday afternoon!
If you''re friends with me on facebook, PLEASE DON''T POST ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ON FACEBOOK!!! We''re not calling our families until after the baby arrives and we definitely don''t want them to hear about it on facebook!
Today''s our local community day so I think DH and I are going to head out to that. No point sitting around the house waiting to see if something''s going to happen! Sabine will let you guys know if something is going on and I can''t get to the computer. Send labor dust my way!
I had a touch of light brown spotting yesterday morning and a few tiny pieces of mucus that could have been part of my plug, but I know those things don''t really mean anything either and both could''ve just been from my internal on Thursday afternoon!
If you''re friends with me on facebook, PLEASE DON''T POST ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ON FACEBOOK!!! We''re not calling our families until after the baby arrives and we definitely don''t want them to hear about it on facebook!
Today''s our local community day so I think DH and I are going to head out to that. No point sitting around the house waiting to see if something''s going to happen! Sabine will let you guys know if something is going on and I can''t get to the computer. Send labor dust my way!
ChinaCat
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