Heartbroken: USPS lost preloved Moline pearl earrings

[fiona00004]

I feel that this is uncalled-for and incredibly rude. I've read the posts and don't feel that fiona is in the wrong -- if anything they're pretty polite and understanding in saying that everyone makes mistakes.

Based on what fiona and asscher have said, it's clear that fiona came here to complain because they've tried contacting asscher and could not get a response after 5 August. Asscher then replied in ALL CAPS (!!) to say that they've emailed fiona around 19 August.

Asscher later admitted that the email doesn't seem to have gone out because of issues with their email service provider. In that post asscher also decided to make excuses about how they had to live life etc without the smallest bit of apology or acknowledgement that fiona was on here because they've been ghosted (from their perspective) for about a month and was getting anxious about the claim that only asscher can apply for. Hey, in fiona's position I'd have assumed that I just got scammed. Hell, I've given and applied for a Paypal refund once after getting strung along for months (!!) by some Instagram seller who is still carrying on her business on there!

Look, I get that it was a mistake and I feel that innocent mistakes can happen to anybody and I absolutely don't think that asscher was out to scam anybody at all, but it feels incredibly unfair that some people have decided on turn on fiona like this.

@whimsicism

Thank you for trying to understand both parties' points of view (you certainly are patient reading all the details!). I thought of reporting the thread to have it removed also, but there are some content that other members contributed (apart from the actual misunderstanding), that can be informative for some people. I admit the back and forth is not pleasant to read at all and not exactly helpful.

The seller has a right to her emotions but my intention was not to hurt anybody. As the title says, I am also upset over this but just not writing it all out for everyone to see.

It's interesting to hear, though, people's past experience with their purchases getting lost and how they actually handled it. This experience is a bit different as it's a private purchase and not a business transaction.

Moving forward, if I sell something, I will always ask for G&S payment and insured shipping.

I once shipped out a preloved 18k bracelet years ago. I don't remember the exact details but I am the one who chose the shipping method . The buyer never received it. I felt so bad that I gave her back her money. I could have investigated further on my own. But since it was Canada to USA, I felt it would be complicated.

I also has a situation of purchasing on Etsy during COVID. At the time, shipping was slow worldwide (as per the seller) given the circumstances so I stayed patient. 4 months later, still nothing and seller ghosted me and by then, it was too late to dispute through Etsy. I couldn't even write a review. So that was a loss.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

@Ella I am requesting that you close/ delete this thread. The two parties involved are now in contact with each other. I think everyone here can agree that using Paypal G&S and fully insuring shipments is the best practice.

This discussion has devolved into a toxic 'she said/she said' situation, which goes against the usual positive vibe of the PS community.

Heck I requested this thread be closed, multiple times. It better stay around at this point. I will not email @fiona00004 BC I don't want to have anymore issues. When I can actually file the claim to USPS I'll post everything publicly here so no one can accuse me of "ghosting" or "scamming".

 

[fiona00004]

Heck I requested this thread be closed, multiple times. It better stay around at this point. I will not email @fiona00004 BC I don't want to have anymore issues. When I can actually file the claim to USPS I'll post everything publicly here so no one can accuse me of "ghosting" or "scamming".

My email account was also acting weird last year. I was not receiving certain emails from my kid's trainer/gym whenever schedules changed so I learned the hard way by showing up when there was no practice session. It took awhile to figure out...I called outlook, I asked the trainer to also see if the problem was on his end... I don't remember how the problem was fixed exactly but it ironed out and no more absent emails (that I know of).

So perhaps you are experiencing a similar problem. I am ok with continuing emails between us, but if your account might still be problematic , then I am ok continuing here. It's up to you. (And admin I guess).

Kind of like Loupetroop email platform being wonky...

 

[Ella]

Folks, no personal attacks, behave like adults.

 

[fiona00004]

i dont know about anyone else but im distrought that some Andrew Moline studs are put these somewhere lost

Yup. Makes me restless lol

 

[lovedogs]

I'll share my very crappy experience with not insuring an item and using FF. I sold a jedi spinel "ring-dant" about 2 yrs ago. The buyer received the package with an empty ring box. No jewelry anywhere to be found. Buyer initially thought I might be trying to scam. I was horrified that someone from USPS or thr location I mailed from stole an item from the box.

I wss going through my separation at the time and was already stressed beyond belief, so I just refunded the buyer all her $. I was left with no jewelry piece and no money. It was an expensive lesson.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Yup. Makes me restless lol

i have had things turn up from the post office and other providers) very late - not as valauable as your earrings, but wanted just the same

 

[Dhana]

fedex once delivered my swim towels to another address and they actually opened it up to see what it is and left it on their porch, the USPS guy actually found it and told me ! . A swappa purchase didn’t move from the seller location x 5 days no one knows why and eventually came to me a week later.
Who knows what’s happening with the mail service these days !
And don’t forget the porch thieves ! ESP as Christmas is near !

 

[missy]

I once had a USPS delivery arrive over 12 months late. I had completely forgotten about it then it showed up

 

[Rfisher]

I'll share my very crappy experience with not insuring an item and using FF. I sold a jedi spinel "ring-dant" about 2 yrs ago. The buyer received the package with an empty ring box. No jewelry anywhere to be found. Buyer initially thought I might be trying to scam. I was horrified that someone from USPS or thr location I mailed from stole an item from the box.

I wss going through my separation at the time and was already stressed beyond belief, so I just refunded the buyer all her $. I was left with no jewelry piece and no money. It was an expensive lesson.

If insurance coverage was never discussed (I assume?) between you and the buyer - this is a different scenario than this thread here presents.
Still sucks you bore the brunt of the situation.
Still really sucks your integrity was questioned.

How would using PP G&S changed anything over FF, in your situation?

 

[lovedogs]

If insurance coverage was never discussed (I assume?) between you and the buyer - this is a different scenario than this thread here presents.
Still sucks you bore the brunt of the situation.
Still really sucks your integrity was questioned.

How would using PP G&S changed anything over FF, in your situation?

I think the buyer would have felt more confident w g&s, and the insurance (via usps) could have at least made up for the $$ lost

 

[Rfisher]

I think the buyer would have felt more confident w g&s, and the insurance (via usps) could have at least made up for the $$ lost

Ok - so using G&S, insurance is mandatory?

 

[fiona00004]

I once had a USPS delivery arrive over 12 months late. I had completely forgotten about it then it showed up

Happened to me as well.. I received a ring 12 months later...but not via USPS. Came from Europe. The earrings could still show up.

 

[pearlsngems]

...

Ok - so using G&S, insurance is mandatory?

No, it's just smart for the seller to buy the insurance. It protects the seller from having to reimburse the buyer out of pocket. (If the sale amount is very low the seller may decide against buying insurance and just risk it) .

With G&S, the buyer can file a claim with PayPal for a refund if tracking doesn't show the package as having been delivered. If the seller has not bought insurance they will have to refund out of pocket, whereas if they have bought insurance they can refund the buyer right away and then get their money back from USPS. Why should the buyer have to wait for a refund? This is the seller's problem.

There are filing deadlines that the buyer has to be aware of. And there may be different rules for international sales than for domestic (I have only sold domestically for many years now so I don't know.)

This is what I always did as a seller and now do as a buyer:

As a seller: Accept payment through G&S only. I pay the PayPal fee (this is automatic; PayPal deducts it from payment) and all shipping/insurance costs, but I factor all these expenses into my asking price. Buyer doesn't get a choice. I have not sold internationally for a long time, and won't do it any more. (I have sent gifts to Canada and elsewhere, though.) I consider myself to be responsible for the item to reach the buyer. (However if tracking shows item was delivered but it's stolen off their step, PayPal will not refund, nor will I. Buyer will have to report theft to their local police.)

As a buyer: I only ever pay through G&S. I don't buy from anyone who asks for payment via F&F; I value my buyer protection too much! It is up to the seller to buy insurance, since it protects them, not me. I make sure to track, and if the item doesn't arrive (or arrives broken), I file a claim officially, in a timely way, through PayPal (or eBay, or Etsy) and communicate with the seller through the claim. No need for emailing back and forth. I think using the claim forms to communicate reduces the potential for animosity. It isn't personal-- it's a business transaction. We can be adults. (Oh, and it's still a business transaction even though I'm a private seller. I don't subscribe to the idea that "I'm not a business so the rules don't apply to me.")

The great thing about doing it right, through the right channels, is everyone knows what the rules are. Really reduces conflict if something goes wrong.

Ten years ago I bought a beautiful large watermelon tourmaline slice on eBay. It was over $200, then (now would be much more, if you can even find one.) The seller was right here in CT. Maybe that is why his packaging was so minimal --false optimism about USPS. He shipped it in a little plastic bag inside a manila mailer with no other padding or protective box, and no insurance. The mailer was mangled by a sorting machine and the tourmaline arrived broken in pieces. I got a full refund. He wanted the pieces back (he thought he could still make jewelry from the pieces), so I shipped them back-- well padded, in a box, and insured. I didn't say anything to him about how he shipped it, but hopefully he learned something about protecting himself going forward.

I learned something, too. If I ship anything that is easily lost or fragile, even a gift to a friend, I use a box, not a mailer. And pad it well. it's too easy for small packages to get lost or damaged in sorting machines.

This was the tourmaline. A pity.

 

[Home73]

...


No, it's just smart for the seller to buy the insurance. It protects the seller from having to reimburse the buyer out of pocket. (If the sale amount is very low the seller may decide against buying insurance and just risk it) .

With G&S, the buyer can file a claim with PayPal for a refund if tracking doesn't show the package as having been delivered. If the seller has not bought insurance they will have to refund out of pocket, whereas if they have bought insurance they can refund the buyer right away and then get their money back from USPS. Why should the buyer have to wait for a refund? This is the seller's problem.

There are filing deadlines that the buyer has to be aware of. And there may be different rules for international sales than for domestic (I have only sold domestically for many years now so I don't know.)

This is what I always did as a seller and now do as a buyer:

As a seller: Accept payment through G&S only. I pay the PayPal fee (this is automatic; PayPal deducts it from payment) and all shipping/insurance costs, but I factor all these expenses into my asking price. Buyer doesn't get a choice. I have not sold internationally for a long time, and won't do it any more. (I have sent gifts to Canada and elsewhere, though.)

As a buyer: I only ever pay through G&S. I don't buy from anyone who asks for payment via F&F; I value my buyer protection too much! It is up to the seller to buy insurance, since it protects them, not me. I make sure to track, and if the item doesn't arrive (or arrives broken), I file a claim officially, in a timely way, through PayPal (or eBay, or Etsy) and communicate with the seller through the claim. No need for emailing back and forth. I think using the claim forms to communicate reduces the potential for animosity. It isn't personal-- it's a business transaction. We can be adults. (Oh, and it's still a business transaction even though I'm a private seller. I don't subscribe to the idea that "I'm not a business so the rules don't apply to me.")

Ten years ago I bought a beautiful large watermelon tourmaline slice on eBay. It was over $200, then (now would be much more, if you can even find one.) The seller was right here in CT. Maybe that is why his packaging was so minimal --false optimism about USPS. He shipped it in a little plastic bag inside a manila mailer with no other padding or protective box, and no insurance. The mailer was mangled by a sorting machine and the tourmaline arrived broken in pieces. I got a full refund. He wanted the pieces back (he thought he could still make jewelry from the pieces), so I shipped them back-- well padded, in a box, and insured. I didn't say anything to him about how he shipped it, but hopefully he learned something about protecting himself going forward.

I learned something, too. If I ship anything that is easily lost or fragile, even a gift to a friend, I use a box, not a mailer. And pad it well. it's too easy for small packages to get lost or damaged in sorting machines.

This was the tourmaline. A pity.

Your policies are just good practices and I do the same.

But many seller on here are against F&F. The ads all say "Paypal F&F only" and final sale. I always ask for G&S and offer to carry the fee. If the amount is low I might go without it. If the amount is higher and the seller refuses to sell via G&S I usually pass.

G&S is the only way a buyer has recourse. Even if the item has insurance, the seller is the one who has to make the claim. With F&F they can just refuse to do any more work on the sale, because the money was just a "gift". And it gets really messy if you start a cc chargeback because now paypal has to get involved and the seller violated the terms and conditions....

 

[pearlsngems]

When I see payment requested through F&F, I think one of these may true:

• Seller is afraid of being cheated by a bad buyer who may file a false claim and then send back a pebble. Granted this is a risk.
• Seller doesn't want to pay the PayPal seller fee. But the fee is a legitimate fee, after all. If one uses PayPal to collect a payment, why should one refuse to pay the associated fee? Many services we use have a cost. Granted we all like to save money, but I don't like the go-around of using F&F for sales. Seems dishonest to me.
• Seller doesn't want to deal with any claims. They prefer to wash their hands of the item after mailing it. This is not the kind of seller I want to buy from.

This is why I avoid sellers who ask for F&F.
If you (general/plural you) are a seller and the above doesn't describe you, then maybe consider asking for G&S next time.

 

[HS4S_2]

This thread makes me not want to sell as a private seller or buy from a private seller.....and I have sold/bought many pre-loved items here. I will say that I have given that option to take payment F&F or buyer pays fees. It is usually declined. I do insure my packages.

Everything I sell is very discounted and sold at a loss. I am always happy to have someone else enjoy the piece. I think all of my sales/purchases have been to/from PS members. After reading all the comments I almost think consignment would be worth it just to avoid this.

 

[peppermintpatty]

This thread makes me not want to sell as a private seller or buy from a private seller.....and I have sold/bought many pre-loved items here. I will say that I have given that option to take payment F&F or buyer pays fees. It is usually declined. I do insure my packages.

Everything I sell is very discounted and sold at a loss. I am always happy to have someone else enjoy the piece. I think all of my sales/purchases have been to/from PS members. After reading all the comments I almost think consignment would be worth it just to avoid this.

I always insure as well @HS4S_2 I do think I may have to rethink F&F. I don't want to have to give up purchasing or selling I feel with the package insured and doing G&S's a person is pretty safe. I insure everything I sell. I do that as much, if not more for myself as for the purchaser.

I am not sure it's true, but where I ship from has always steered me away from USPS. They do not believe I will receive the payment for the lost merchandise. So I have always shipped FedEx. I have always known I would be paying quite a bit more than what I charged for shipping, if I charged at all. To me, that peace of mind is worth it.

 

[Home73]

This thread makes me not want to sell as a private seller or buy from a private seller.....and I have sold/bought many pre-loved items here. I will say that I have given that option to take payment F&F or buyer pays fees. It is usually declined. I do insure my packages.

Everything I sell is very discounted and sold at a loss. I am always happy to have someone else enjoy the piece. I think all of my sales/purchases have been to/from PS members. After reading all the comments I almost think consignment would be worth it just to avoid this.

I don't think you need to stop buying and selling as a private seller. The payment services like paypal offer good protections. I actually think it is safer to buy and sell here in our smaller communities as there are less scammers then Ebay or Facebook.
And you still have less cost doing it yourself then using consignment or ebay.
Just use common sense.

 

[pearlsngems]

Consignment is a good alternative if you can trust the shop where you consign. I have gone to pick up unsold consigned items before the deadline (after which the items are donated) only to be told that they could not be found. They were shoplifted, apparently. The shop assumed no responsibility for the missing items.
They weren't so very valuable, but I still wanted to get them back if unsold.

So it's best to know the shop's policy before you consign.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

This thread makes me not want to sell as a private seller or buy from a private seller.....and I have sold/bought many pre-loved items here. I will say that I have given that option to take payment F&F or buyer pays fees. It is usually declined. I do insure my packages.

Everything I sell is very discounted and sold at a loss. I am always happy to have someone else enjoy the piece. I think all of my sales/purchases have been to/from PS members. After reading all the comments I almost think consignment would be worth it just to avoid this.

This is exactly how I felt about selling and buying before this. My final pieces that I have left are going on consignment.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

...


No, it's just smart for the seller to buy the insurance. It protects the seller from having to reimburse the buyer out of pocket. (If the sale amount is very low the seller may decide against buying insurance and just risk it) .

With G&S, the buyer can file a claim with PayPal for a refund if tracking doesn't show the package as having been delivered. If the seller has not bought insurance they will have to refund out of pocket, whereas if they have bought insurance they can refund the buyer right away and then get their money back from USPS. Why should the buyer have to wait for a refund? This is the seller's problem.

There are filing deadlines that the buyer has to be aware of. And there may be different rules for international sales than for domestic (I have only sold domestically for many years now so I don't know.)

This is what I always did as a seller and now do as a buyer:

As a seller: Accept payment through G&S only. I pay the PayPal fee (this is automatic; PayPal deducts it from payment) and all shipping/insurance costs, but I factor all these expenses into my asking price. Buyer doesn't get a choice. I have not sold internationally for a long time, and won't do it any more. (I have sent gifts to Canada and elsewhere, though.) I consider myself to be responsible for the item to reach the buyer. (However if tracking shows item was delivered but it's stolen off their step, PayPal will not refund, nor will I. Buyer will have to report theft to their local police.)

As a buyer: I only ever pay through G&S. I don't buy from anyone who asks for payment via F&F; I value my buyer protection too much! It is up to the seller to buy insurance, since it protects them, not me. I make sure to track, and if the item doesn't arrive (or arrives broken), I file a claim officially, in a timely way, through PayPal (or eBay, or Etsy) and communicate with the seller through the claim. No need for emailing back and forth. I think using the claim forms to communicate reduces the potential for animosity. It isn't personal-- it's a business transaction. We can be adults. (Oh, and it's still a business transaction even though I'm a private seller. I don't subscribe to the idea that "I'm not a business so the rules don't apply to me.")

The great thing about doing it right, through the right channels, is everyone knows what the rules are. Really reduces conflict if something goes wrong.

Ten years ago I bought a beautiful large watermelon tourmaline slice on eBay. It was over $200, then (now would be much more, if you can even find one.) The seller was right here in CT. Maybe that is why his packaging was so minimal --false optimism about USPS. He shipped it in a little plastic bag inside a manila mailer with no other padding or protective box, and no insurance. The mailer was mangled by a sorting machine and the tourmaline arrived broken in pieces. I got a full refund. He wanted the pieces back (he thought he could still make jewelry from the pieces), so I shipped them back-- well padded, in a box, and insured. I didn't say anything to him about how he shipped it, but hopefully he learned something about protecting himself going forward.

I learned something, too. If I ship anything that is easily lost or fragile, even a gift to a friend, I use a box, not a mailer. And pad it well. it's too easy for small packages to get lost or damaged in sorting machines.

This was the tourmaline. A pity.

that is heart breaking
but at least it was only $200 and you got that back

i had someone mail me a commerative plate from accross town in a bubble mailer -the plate was bearly wrapped in newspaper, not expensive but still a sad loss

then my friend in England brought be a wee commerative mug from a charity shop - it was cheap and postage is expensive
it arrived in pieces -it was in a very light cardboard box
sigh