I am so, so sad right now and don''t know what to do

[NewEnglandLady]

You should be very proud of how you handled it, you were dignified, classy and calm. I''m sure it was not easy, but you did the right thing.

Now you get to put all of this behind you and focus on your own very exciting future!

 

[pjean]

Kudos, Fiery. It sounds as though you handled a completely impossible situation in the best way you could. It''s probably too much to hope that the bride picked up some grace and maturity by proximity, right?

 

[Bia]

How the HELL did I miss this thread? I think I left work early on Friday...

Fiery, I am so sorry this happened to you, in PUBLIC, no less! I am sort of fuming actually (even though this is way after the fact). Your friend is unbelievably immature and self-centered. I have to tip my hat to you for being the BIGGER person (much bigger than I could ever be) and handling this so elegantly. Though you, very gracefully, stuck to your commitments as her MOH, know that she didn''t deserve it, not one iota IMO. I cannot understand what would prompt her to sound off to you in such a way. What gets me is that she didn''t have the tact to do it privately...

I really hope you never EVER let her get inside like that again. She is not worthy of your tears (that may sound mean but I really feel this way, esp after all that you have done for her). A real friend doesn''t do things like that honey...remember that. Glad its over now. I hope you''re feeling a whole lot better too.

(((HUGS)))

 

[vespergirl]

Wow, what a horrible person that bride is, and I think that you are a great person and that you acted very generously by fulfilling your MOH obligations.

Now that the wedding is over and done with, though, and since she still doesn''t seem to haave made any move to apologize, I would probably send her an email joyfully announcing my pregnancy. I know that''s probably really mean, but I guess I have a vindictive streak that would come out after being publicly humiliated like that for no reason

 

[cbs102]

Fiery,
I rarely sign on during the weekends but i found myself logging on to Pricescope multiple times over the weekend hoping that you would update up all! first, the audacity of that woman is unreal. i would have slapped her in the face... ok, well maybe not-but i would have wanted to! you certainly handled that situation better than i ever could have. i would have left her ungrateful ass at the alter to stand up there alone. she should be ashamed of herself and her actions.. what because she is the bride she doesn''t have to be the better person?? give me a break. she was acting like a spoiled brat.

i am really proud of you for how you handled everything. you stood up there with all the dignity and grace that the BRIDE so obviously lacks.

sood luck with everything and a genuine congratulations on your pregnancy!

 

[merrymunky]

Wow!

I only just read this thread after being away for the weekend.

I just want to say to you that I think you did the right thing by at least fulfilling your duties. You acted with decorum. It''s a sad but true fact that sometimes friendships break down in this way. I had a similar experience with friends who I did a lot for and then in my hour of need they turned their backs on me. I have had no contact with them for 7 years now and I realise they were never the friends I thought they were for all those years.

On the plus side, you are entering a new era in your life. You will make new friends once your baby arrives. Life sometimes changes drastically, but sometimes you get given the best gift in return. And it looks like you have been given that great gift.

 

[kittybean]

Hey, Fiery--just wanted to tell you that you are such a mature, awesome, grown-up lady. Hooray and hallelujah to that wedding being history!

 

[bensbride]

I agree 150% with kittybean. You handled it with so much more grace than I probably would''ve been able to!

 

[Blair138]

Fiery-Good for you for still being cordial and doing what you promised throughout. After this though, I would write her off. I would LOVE for you to go off on her but I don''t think that would do anything. I myself have some $hitty friends, who are thankfully not BM in my wedding, and as much as I would love to tell them off, I am not going to, but I will probably not talk to them after my wedding, maybe even before that. some people will always be selfish, and it sounds like this ''friend'' is one of those people. Sorry you had to go through this, but at least it is over now.

 

[onedrop]

Fiery: just wanted to chime in again, to say that you were definitely the bigger person than the "bridezilla"/bad friend, by standing up and following through on your word. You can definitely hold your head high by doing so. Kudos to you!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/8/2008 2:39:17 PM
Author: Bia
How the HELL did I miss this thread? I think I left work early on Friday...

haha Bia. That's what I'm sayin!!!! I can't believe I missed this too. I'm around all day at work but obviously completely missed it.

Fiery- Awww sweetie I'm so sorry you had to go through that! How terrible of a friend she must be.

That is NOT COOL. I wouldn't be able to forgive that either. You've been her friend for such a long time, that is just sickening. That makes me sick! I'm sure the whole wedding was awkward. You are a very strong woman to still show up at the wedding. I give you plenty of credit for that. I don't know that I'd be able to, or if I did, I probably would have said something to her

You can walk away from this feeling like the better person. I bet she feels like crap. And behaving like that on her wedding day=bad memories for her.

Her problem, not yours! *hugs to you*

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Fiery, you really handled this as well as anyone could possibly have. This girl did not embarass you nearly as much as she embarrassed HERSELF!!! Just think about her poor fiance...that would strike a little fear in my heart to see someone lose it in public like that...and knowing I was stuck MARRYING them the next day!!!

You''ll hear from her when she wants something from you again. She is a leech and uses people. Definitely not a friend. I would cut off contact so there is no possiblity that she can attend your wedding. I''d advise forgiving her in your own mind, though, because it will be healthier for YOU. I''d say she is mentally unstable, so just pity her once you get past being livid!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 12/9/2008 10:24:43 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Fiery, you really handled this as well as anyone could possibly have. This girl did not embarass you nearly as much as she embarrassed HERSELF!!! Just think about her poor fiance...that would strike a little fear in my heart to see someone lose it in public like that...and knowing I was stuck MARRYING them the next day!!!

You''ll hear from her when she wants something from you again. She is a leech and uses people. Definitely not a friend. I would cut off contact so there is no possiblity that she can attend your wedding. I''d advise forgiving her in your own mind, though, because it will be healthier for YOU. I''d say she is mentally unstable, so just pity her once you get past being livid!

That is exactly what my cousin said to me over the weekend.

I''m getting over being angry about it and now we''re just sort of laughing over the entire thing. On the drive home from the Keys FI and I were chatting about random things when he said "ok, I''m just going to say it...how happy were you when it started pouring right during her ceremony?" The ceremony was in a garden. Truth is I was more concerned about my hair that went from straight to curly in about 30 seconds but when he said that, it made me laugh so hard that he, being a guy, would even think that.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 12/10/2008 10:51:58 AM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 12/9/2008 10:24:43 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Fiery, you really handled this as well as anyone could possibly have. This girl did not embarass you nearly as much as she embarrassed HERSELF!!! Just think about her poor fiance...that would strike a little fear in my heart to see someone lose it in public like that...and knowing I was stuck MARRYING them the next day!!!

You''ll hear from her when she wants something from you again. She is a leech and uses people. Definitely not a friend. I would cut off contact so there is no possiblity that she can attend your wedding. I''d advise forgiving her in your own mind, though, because it will be healthier for YOU. I''d say she is mentally unstable, so just pity her once you get past being livid!

That is exactly what my cousin said to me over the weekend.

I''m getting over being angry about it and now we''re just sort of laughing over the entire thing. On the drive home from the Keys FI and I were chatting about random things when he said ''ok, I''m just going to say it...how happy were you when it started pouring right during her ceremony?'' The ceremony was in a garden. Truth is I was more concerned about my hair that went from straight to curly in about 30 seconds but when he said that, it made me laugh so hard that he, being a guy, would even think that.

I adore your FI..what a sweetpea

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Date: 12/10/2008 10:55:31 AM
Author: cbs102

Date: 12/10/2008 10:51:58 AM

Author: fieryred33143

Date: 12/9/2008 10:24:43 PM

Author: diamondseeker2006

Fiery, you really handled this as well as anyone could possibly have. This girl did not embarass you nearly as much as she embarrassed HERSELF!!! Just think about her poor fiance...that would strike a little fear in my heart to see someone lose it in public like that...and knowing I was stuck MARRYING them the next day!!!

You'll hear from her when she wants something from you again. She is a leech and uses people. Definitely not a friend. I would cut off contact so there is no possiblity that she can attend your wedding. I'd advise forgiving her in your own mind, though, because it will be healthier for YOU. I'd say she is mentally unstable, so just pity her once you get past being livid!

That is exactly what my cousin said to me over the weekend.


I'm getting over being angry about it and now we're just sort of laughing over the entire thing. On the drive home from the Keys FI and I were chatting about random things when he said 'ok, I'm just going to say it...how happy were you when it started pouring right during her ceremony?' The ceremony was in a garden. Truth is I was more concerned about my hair that went from straight to curly in about 30 seconds but when he said that, it made me laugh so hard that he, being a guy, would even think that.

I adore your FI..what a sweetpea

Ditto! You and your fiance seem like amazing people fiery! Im not sure I wouldve been able to continue to go to the wedding, act poised, even set up their bridal suite for them! I have so much respect for you, I think everyone on this thread does. I hope you realize that you only deserve a friend who could offer the same quality of friendship you have to give. Congrats on your pregnancy as well

You two are going to make amazing parents

 

[Bia]

Date: 12/10/2008 10:51:58 AM
Author: fieryred33143


I''m getting over being angry about it and now we''re just sort of laughing over the entire thing. On the drive home from the Keys FI and I were chatting about random things when he said ''ok, I''m just going to say it...how happy were you when it started pouring right during her ceremony?'' The ceremony was in a garden. Truth is I was more concerned about my hair that went from straight to curly in about 30 seconds but when he said that, it made me laugh so hard that he, being a guy, would even think that.

It rained during her ceremony!!!

....sorry

I think its hilarious that the first thing that you thought was "oh S*#t, my hair!" instead of, "serves her right!" Although, I''m right there with you...my hair and rain do not like eachother one little bit.

Glad you''re feeling better about this whole mess. Your friend = A HOT MESS. You don''t need that drama in your life sweetiepie!

 

[Dogmom]

I''m not a BIW so I don''t post here, but Fiery, hon, I wanted to tip my hat to you. You are the epitome of class and I am in awe of your grace and dignity. Honestly, I really don''t think I could have handled myself as well as you did. Thank you for setting an example I shall try to follow.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 12/10/2008 11:02:48 AM
Author: SailorsSweet

Date: 12/10/2008 10:55:31 AM
Author: cbs102

Date: 12/10/2008 10:51:58 AM

Author: fieryred33143

Date: 12/9/2008 10:24:43 PM

Author: diamondseeker2006

Fiery, you really handled this as well as anyone could possibly have. This girl did not embarass you nearly as much as she embarrassed HERSELF!!! Just think about her poor fiance...that would strike a little fear in my heart to see someone lose it in public like that...and knowing I was stuck MARRYING them the next day!!!

You''ll hear from her when she wants something from you again. She is a leech and uses people. Definitely not a friend. I would cut off contact so there is no possiblity that she can attend your wedding. I''d advise forgiving her in your own mind, though, because it will be healthier for YOU. I''d say she is mentally unstable, so just pity her once you get past being livid!

That is exactly what my cousin said to me over the weekend.


I''m getting over being angry about it and now we''re just sort of laughing over the entire thing. On the drive home from the Keys FI and I were chatting about random things when he said ''ok, I''m just going to say it...how happy were you when it started pouring right during her ceremony?'' The ceremony was in a garden. Truth is I was more concerned about my hair that went from straight to curly in about 30 seconds but when he said that, it made me laugh so hard that he, being a guy, would even think that.

I adore your FI..what a sweetpea

Ditto! You and your fiance seem like amazing people fiery! Im not sure I wouldve been able to continue to go to the wedding, act poised, even set up their bridal suite for them! I have so much respect for you, I think everyone on this thread does. I hope you realize that you only deserve a friend who could offer the same quality of friendship you have to give. Congrats on your pregnancy as well

You two are going to make amazing parents

I can definitely second this!!! You will hear from her when she needs something - sounds to me like that''s the only reason so far she''s had you doing all these things, b/c she knew you would. I have a friend who used to call me all the time and I NEVER got to talk - all she did was talk about herself and her new husband. I quit returning her calls after a while and she got mad at me. I''m a really busy person and don''t like to talk on the phone much anyway, but she doesn''t get that. We saw each other about a month ago, and since then, haven''t spoken once.

She just needs people to listen to her talk...

Anyway just wanted to say I understand somewhat and am very proud of you Fiery!! Very classy. Just make sure when she wants something again that you are NOT readily available to her. She is only a drain to you and I am very glad you are separating yourself from her, at least somewhat. Nobody needs a leech as a friend. Friends should give to each other freely and not expect things in return, no matter if you''re a bridesmaid or not.

One more thing... you have what sounds like a GREAT guy. Made me smile when I read in your story the part where he came to rescue you!

And the pie, and the fact that he''s supported you through all this and doesn''t want to see you get stepped all over... I''m just happy for you! You get to see what a great person he is, esp in times like this.

PS I think it''s hilarious that it rained, and what your FI said about it too, hehe...