I have a daaayyyyyte... I have a daaayyyyyte

[decodelighted]

Date: 4/28/2010 9:33:38 AM
Author: Starset Princess
He got me a stuffed animal for Easter. This morning he wrote it an email and told it to tell me Hi.

I thought so. "Letters to Bunny" will be going on for five more years ... until one day your future husband answers the phone when he calls & then the letters & calls & emails will stop.

But - let''s play! How ''bout you create a coolio cardboard COFFIN for Mr. Stuffy -- gut him wide open and bloody up the fluff with red food coloring & mail him back to sender.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Deco you are on point today!

 

[Erin]

Mr Stuffy became a dog toy this morning - so I don''t imagine he''ll last through the weekend.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Whoa, that''s desperation. Does he honestly think that will win you back?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/28/2010 10:39:41 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/28/2010 9:33:38 AM
Author: Starset Princess
He got me a stuffed animal for Easter. This morning he wrote it an email and told it to tell me Hi.

I thought so. ''Letters to Bunny'' will be going on for five more years ... until one day your future husband answers the phone when he calls & then the letters & calls & emails will stop.

But - let''s play! How ''bout you create a coolio cardboard COFFIN for Mr. Stuffy -- gut him wide open and bloody up the fluff with red food coloring & mail him back to sender.

Fight psycho with psycho. Excellent.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/28/2010 11:43:56 AM
Author: monkeyprincess
Whoa, that''s desperation. Does he honestly think that will win you back?

And sadly, that''s right on par with his character this entire time.

Starset is not just asking him to give HER up, she''s asking him to give up his DREAMS (ideas of love, etc). That''s the stuff that leads to nutterville.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 4/28/2010 11:46:48 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/28/2010 11:43:56 AM
Author: monkeyprincess
Whoa, that''s desperation. Does he honestly think that will win you back?

And sadly, that''s right on par with his character this entire time.

I was thinking the same thing ... she has to up the rhetoric with this guy to his own dizzying heights.

"Someone who burns as brightly as the sun" = "Your sex faces make me wanna vomit."

He needs things s-p-e-l-l-e-d out for him in the most dramatic, visual terms! Re: the Fuzzy Wuzzy Dog Toy ... sounds positively grizzly! Perhaps rubbing it with bologna will speed the destruction.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:02:33 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/28/2010 11:46:48 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/28/2010 11:43:56 AM
Author: monkeyprincess
Whoa, that''s desperation. Does he honestly think that will win you back?

And sadly, that''s right on par with his character this entire time.

I was thinking the same thing ... she has to up the rhetoric with this guy to his own dizzying heights.

''Someone who burns as brightly as the sun'' = ''Your sex faces make me wanna vomit.''

He needs things s-p-e-l-l-e-d out for him in the most dramatic, visual terms! Re: the Fuzzy Wuzzy Dog Toy ... sounds positively grizzly! Perhaps rubbing it with bologna will speed the destruction.

Which leads to the question...can you be compassionate if the guy is bonafide screwy? I mean, if one says, "you are really a great person, but, blah blah" will he focus solely on the great person part and think he still has a chance?

At what point does she really have to go Glenn Close with the bunny?

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:09:41 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/28/2010 12:02:33 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 4/28/2010 11:46:48 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/28/2010 11:43:56 AM
Author: monkeyprincess
Whoa, that''s desperation. Does he honestly think that will win you back?

And sadly, that''s right on par with his character this entire time.

I was thinking the same thing ... she has to up the rhetoric with this guy to his own dizzying heights.

''Someone who burns as brightly as the sun'' = ''Your sex faces make me wanna vomit.''

He needs things s-p-e-l-l-e-d out for him in the most dramatic, visual terms! Re: the Fuzzy Wuzzy Dog Toy ... sounds positively grizzly! Perhaps rubbing it with bologna will speed the destruction.

Which leads to the question...can you be compassionate if the guy is bonafide screwy? I mean, if one says, ''you are really a great person, but, blah blah'' will he focus solely on the great person part and think he still has a chance?

At what point does she really have to go Glenn Close with the bunny?

This guy sounds like one of my ex''s (actually, from the relationship right before I started dating my now-husband). YES, he will COMPLETELY focus on the one positive thing, and block out all of the other ones. YES, he will continue to think he has a chance for days, weeks, months, after this breakup period, and he WILL continue trying to get back with Starset. It''s just the "type" of guy he is

 

[Erin]

Note: The really great person but approach did NOT work.
The I''m sorry approach doesn''t phase
The I don''t see the romantic ending I fantasized about in the beginning statement means nothing.
The I really feel it''s best opener is negating (obviously)

It''s time for blunt - or at least as blunt as I can muster.

 

[Erin]

What if "I went back to my ex" (don''t worry Janine, I won''t really) or "Remember that guy Dan? I''m dating him now"

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:28:13 PM
Author: Starset Princess
What if ''I went back to my ex'' (don''t worry Janine, I won''t really) or ''Remember that guy Dan? I''m dating him now''

I don''t think that lying would really work. He may think he can win you back because he thinks he''s better for you than your ex.

I would say, "I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Ever. Nothing you can do or say will make me change my mind, so please stop contacting me. You''re giving me the creeps."

 

[luckystar112]

Yes, spell it out. Or else this will happen....LOL!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX5jNnDMfxA

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:31:51 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/28/2010 12:28:13 PM

Author: Starset Princess

What if ''I went back to my ex'' (don''t worry Janine, I won''t really) or ''Remember that guy Dan? I''m dating him now''

I don''t think that lying would really work. He may think he can win you back because he thinks he''s better for you than your ex.


I would say, ''I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Ever. Nothing you can do or say will make me change my mind, so please stop contacting me. You''re giving me the creeps.''

Yes, in this case you do need something more like "It is not me....It is YOU".

Don''t blame external factors or things that are "flexible" (like you are busy right now and don''t have time for a serious relationship, or there is an ex in the picture). Because that is NOT really the case and because it leaves an opening. You do not want an opening.

 

[treefrog]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:26:13 PM
Author: Starset Princess
Note: The really great person but approach did NOT work.
The I''m sorry approach doesn''t phase
The I don''t see the romantic ending I fantasized about in the beginning statement means nothing.
The I really feel it''s best opener is negating (obviously)

It''s time for blunt - or at least as blunt as I can muster.

I''m now at a loss. Blunt is good! Very short, very blunt.

You haven''t been replying to his messages, have you?

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:59:05 PM
Author: treefrog

Date: 4/28/2010 12:26:13 PM
Author: Starset Princess
Note: The really great person but approach did NOT work.
The I''m sorry approach doesn''t phase
The I don''t see the romantic ending I fantasized about in the beginning statement means nothing.
The I really feel it''s best opener is negating (obviously)

It''s time for blunt - or at least as blunt as I can muster.

I''m now at a loss. Blunt is good! Very short, very blunt.

You haven''t been replying to his messages, have you?

How ''bout: DICK OFF? (SORRY, DID i SAY THAT OUTLOUD?)

 

[Erin]

Not until now. Thanks for the inspiration TG

I have given our situation continuous thought and the conclusion
remains; I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Nothing you
can do or say can make me change my mind. We may have lots in common,
but that is not all that is needed for a successful relationship. I
wish you the best.

 

[treefrog]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:31:51 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I don't think that lying would really work. He may think he can win you back because he thinks he's better for you than your ex.

I would say, 'I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Ever. Nothing you can do or say will make me change my mind, so please stop contacting me. You're giving me the creeps.'

Close T-Gal. The last sentence should probably go. Stating "You're giving me the creeps." suggests if he stops that, he still has a chance. I think we need more blunt for Mr. 6!

 

[CatLady]

Geez, I wonder how it''s possible that this guy is still single!!! He sounds great

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/28/2010 1:04:50 PM
Author: treefrog

Date: 4/28/2010 12:31:51 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I don't think that lying would really work. He may think he can win you back because he thinks he's better for you than your ex.

I would say, 'I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Ever. Nothing you can do or say will make me change my mind, so please stop contacting me. You're giving me the creeps.'

Close T-Gal. The last sentence should probably go. Stating 'You're giving me the creeps.' suggests if he stops that, he still has a chance. I think we need more blunt for Mr. 6!

I was thinking that most NORMAL people would be horrified in knowing they are giving someone the creeps and hopefully they would stop trying. If he's not normal, then yes, it would give him hope that if he stops it, there'd be a chance. In which case, our dear starset is in trouble.

Starset, I'd take out the part about a lot in common and successful relationship. The first rule of sales is overcome objections - which is hard to do when the answer is simply "no." He may wonder what IS needed for a successful relationship and try to say he can be it for you.

So revision would be:

I have given our situation continuous thought and the conclusion
remains; I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Nothing you
can do or say can make me change my mind. I wish you the best.

 

[treefrog]

Perhaps a parting gift:

 

[decodelighted]

TG:

Question. Does there need to be a separate Dear John letter from Mr. Stuffy?

Waiting Anxiously,
Deco

 

[treefrog]

Date: 4/28/2010 1:17:14 PM
Author: TravelingGal

So revision would be:

I have given our situation continuous thought and the conclusion
remains; I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Nothing you
can do or say can make me change my mind. I wish you the best.

I agree with T-Gal on removing the other parts; regardless of how true it is or how much you feel like it is worth mentioning.

My man brain can find no possible sign of hope in this message. I wonder if you have to specifically tell him to stop contacting you or your animals. I wonder if it would even matter. It''s hard to say in this unique case.

 

[junebug17]

Ok, my two cents will probably be very unpopular, and I''m sure nobody will agree with me, but I feel compelled to say it...I just re-read the beginning of this thread, and you were really into this guy, Starset. I mean, you were thrilled, and gave this guy every impression you were totally on board. And everyone else was clapping and cheering every step of the way. deco was the only one who mentioned slowing down a little. If this guy had done the stuffed animal thing in the first few weeks, you probably would have thought it was adorable. All I''m saying is that this guy hasn''t changed, your feelings have, and that''s fine. That''s what dating is all about. But to start calling him a stalker, and creepy, and making fun of him, well, it just seems unfair. Sending a corny email doesn''t make someone a crazy stalker. He thinks he still has a chance, since you seemed to like him so much up until recently. You need to tell him, now, in no uncertain terms, that you are not interested in seeing him anymore. Up until now, You really haven''t done that, and that''s why I think he''s still giving it the old college try.

After you specifically tell him it''s over and these emails are still coming, then yes, crazy stalker will be appropiate. Just end it so you can both move on.

 

[Allison D.]

Date: 4/28/2010 12:51:06 PM
Author: RaiKai


Yes, in this case you do need something more like ''It is not me....It is YOU''.

I actually disagree on this; I think saying this causes him to think it''s something he can change.

I think the message should be "it''s not YOU; it''s ME. *I* don''t reciprocate your feelings. There is nothing you can do or change; this is missing a chemistry that I need and it''s just not there for me. Because this feeling continues to grow stronger, I''m certain I''m not going to feel differently with time. It doesn''t make sense for me to keep trying to force myself to feel what isn''t there, so I''d rather be a big girl and tell you that I don''t want to continue dating. If you really want what''s best for me, please respect what I''m telling you."

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 4/28/2010 1:29:02 PM
Author: treefrog

Date: 4/28/2010 1:17:14 PM
Author: TravelingGal

So revision would be:

I have given our situation continuous thought and the conclusion
remains; I am done. I have no desire to date you again. Nothing you
can do or say can make me change my mind. I wish you the best.

I agree with T-Gal on removing the other parts; regardless of how true it is or how much you feel like it is worth mentioning.

My man brain can find no possible sign of hope in this message. I wonder if you have to specifically tell him to stop contacting you or your animals. I wonder if it would even matter. It''s hard to say in this unique case.

Very funny...

 

[CatLady]

It reminds me of a quote from Seinfeld. I''ve tried to find it, but can''t. It''s something like you don''t want to be with someone who likes you, you want to be with someone who can''t stand you.

Personally, while I may claim that I would like it if a guy brought me flowers and stuffed animals at the beginning of a relationship, the reality is that it would probably majorly turn me off. But I''m crazy so don''t pay much attention to what I say.

 

[Laila619]

Sadly, I think the guys who come on super strong and want to rush into insta-relationship are the ones who tend to be a bit off.

I hope he will go away gracefully.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Date: 4/28/2010 1:36:40 PM
Author: junebug17
Ok, my two cents will probably be very unpopular, and I''m sure nobody will agree with me, but I feel compelled to say it...I just re-read the beginning of this thread, and you were really into this guy, Starset. I mean, you were thrilled, and gave this guy every impression you were totally on board. And everyone else was clapping and cheering every step of the way. deco was the only one who mentioned slowing down a little. If this guy had done the stuffed animal thing in the first few weeks, you probably would have thought it was adorable. All I''m saying is that this guy hasn''t changed, your feelings have, and that''s fine. That''s what dating is all about. But to start calling him a stalker, and creepy, and making fun of him, well, it just seems unfair. Sending a corny email doesn''t make someone a crazy stalker. He thinks he still has a chance, since you seemed to like him so much up until recently. You need to tell him, now, in no uncertain terms, that you are not interested in seeing him anymore. Up until now, You really haven''t done that, and that''s why I think he''s still giving it the old college try.


After you specifically tell him it''s over and these emails are still coming, then yes, crazy stalker will be appropiate. Just end it so you can both move on.

Ditto. You put my thoughts into words.

 

[Erin]

Date: 4/28/2010 1:29:02 PM
Author: treefrog

My man brain can find no possible sign of hope in this message. I wonder if you have to specifically tell him to stop contacting you or your animals. I wonder if it would even matter. It''s hard to say in this unique case.

I have to agree - this is hilarious.


Suffice to say, I sent the message as is. We''ll see what happens. I guess I can expect a phone call since he took off for a two week trip this morning. I won''t answer the phone call. On a side note, he asked my Mom''s co-worker, the one that set us up, to get my address from my Mom to send me postcards. I screamed through the phone - Mom you didn''t give it to her did you? Don''t do it. Crisis averted.