Need to get some perspective

[allycat0303]

Hey gals,

There was nothing wrong with the guy that asked me out he''s just seems exactly like my ex. good-looking jock, with too much success and I don''t *know* if he has tattoos, but I''m sure he does. And lots of confidence. And in retrospect, I think I was blushing like crazy because I find him attractive. And as evidence shows, I don''t want to date anyone that is remotely like my ex. or that is remotely *my type*. But in any case, I did promise my ex. And even though I really shouldn''t have made the promise, I don''t give my promises easily, and I NEVER break them. I would have to be released from the promise, and I don''t want to talk to him, so it has to stand.

Although... I really wanted to go to the theater. I think it was an unusual suggestion. And I''ve always wanted to go to the theater, just never had anyone to go with...but I don''t see why I just don''t buy myself a ticket and go. And I''m really thinking of going to Italy during Christmas. I''ve always dreamed of going to Italy, so I can see myself being able to look at all the museums, visiting the vatican and as many churches as I want! I''m psycho about churches.. etc (all at my leisure..which sounds like heaven at this point). So I am realizing that there are a 100 million things I''ve always wanted to do, and never voiced, mentioned, or acted on. Blabbing now, sorry gals.

Mara: Into the box the ring goes. I didn''t want to send it back because I KNOW what he''s going to to. I just felt a little guilty because it feels like I''m keeping it and profiting, but I don''t want to deal with it. So I''m taking your advice. I actually haven''t done any talking about this except for here. Life has been crazy, when it calms down I am going to talk it out a bit. I haven''t had a chance to chill out, with so much stuff going on. It you notice, sometimes I''m posting at 5:00 in the morning...

Oshinbreez: I take it as it comes. An nice shy sweet guy would be perfect. I''ve never really been approached by any though (or anyone) though, so in 6 months, maybe things will change.

Cinderella: Thanks sweetie. Honestly, part of my natural personality is to initally be reserved. But I do think that over the years, he has a stronger personality, he''s confident, strong, and one of those people that just everyone likes. He''s a guys, guy so really popular with the guys, and when he would come out with my girl-friends they would seriosuly flutter. Like this party he came to. I was already there, and when my friend buzzed him in, she and my other group were all " Oh M is here. Isn''t that cool, so awesome, Ally why didn''t you tell us he was coming." And then they all launched at him to give these HUGE exuberent hugs. So one of the guys at the party was like "Who is M?" and my friend was liks "It''s Ally''s boyfriend" and he was like "You? Oh." (Maybe because I wasn''t launching myself at him, but I took it as a negative way) So over the years (10!!! ) It was always like that, and I just took random comments to mean things they probably (but maybe) didn''t mean. And I would get down at myself. And convince myself that my best and only asset was my brain, so I had BETTER be using it. But I really hope that''s going to change now.

Incidently, I haven''t seen much of you on these boards, so how are you doing? Are things going well?

lilmissjaja: Thanks for the good thoughts. And welcome to the board

Anchor: Hi sweetie. I''m in the hospital nearly 24/7 with my dad, or with school (where I can at times sneak off for PS sanity) I''ve been keeping up with your news. After my exams (got two more coming up) we''ll get together.

IrishAngel, Kaleigh (Lisa): My dad might be coming home this week. I''m so excited. He''s so sick of the hospital. He wants to be at our house where he can take care of his plants (winter is coming) and see our cats (he always says they are bad when he''s home) but he missed them terribly. And I do suspect they missed him too.

 

[anchor31]

I have exams too... One this afternoon, one tomorrow and one Friday. Eep! Good thing I have a week off before my three next exams... Good luck, take care and keep me posted.

And Italy sounds divine! J and I would LOVE to go there on our honeymoon.

 

[allycat0303]

Anchor: Good luck for today! Venice on a gondola, and go under the bridge of sighs and kiss as (I believe) the sun is setting. And you''ll be together for an eternity. Alright, it''s probably some fancy story made up for tourists. But I''m really susperstitious, and this one gets to me. I would so do it if it were my honeymoon

 

[TravelingGal]

Ally, glad to hear you are hanging in there. Was thinking of you the other day as I heard news that an acquaintance of ours was getting married next month. Less than two years ago, she broke up with our cousin-in-law after 11 years. Now she''s getting married. I just think that sometimes long term relationships don''t turn into marriage for a reason...and she is saying now "when ya know, ya know." I am hoping the same for you.

Re: Italy - GO GIRL! While Italy is bombarded with tourists, travel is what you make of it and it can certainly be as magical as you dreamed. TGuy and I (we met in Europe) on a whim went to the Amalfi Coast (we wanted to go to Rome but it was easter weekend and there was no way we could get a room on short notice) and we rented a scooter to zip around on. Driving along the crazy windy cliff roads with the giant tour buses on them was insane because we started to zip around them like other nutty Italian scooterists - but it was so much fun and I figured if I was going to die, I was going to die happy. It was one of those days that will live in my memory forever...whizzing through positano, stopping in amalfi for lunch and ravello for coffee...*sigh*

Go to Italy by yourself...it''s a place where it''s hard to be lonely.

 

[allycat0303]

TravelingGal:

I am seriously obsessed with Italy. Last summer, my ex had planned a trip to Italy, and it feel through because I failed my last mid term and wasn''t able to leave until the final grades were in (they make us take a retake within 2 days). I don''t know if that was some sort of sign. It was my dream since I was a little girl to go with my future husband.

In any case, I''m trying to avoid a similar situation by going at Christmas. Everyone keeps telling me that it''s a horrible time to go, because it''s cold etc but I''m scared something is going to interrupt it. And this is the last summer I have before I start residency.

I want to go (and excuse me if I say something silly)

But:

Venice
Rome
Isle Capri
Amalfi Coast
Scicily

In any case there''s a tour that visits all of them, but only 2-3 night stays in each place. I know it''s going to be fast (ideally I''d have 1 month just in Italy) but I''m thinking Italy fast is better then no Italy. Even if it''s freezing cold.

 

[blueroses]

Dear dear Ally,

First of all I am so sorry for not responding to this thread sooner to give you some much-deserved support when you have been there for me so much. I''m sorry I wasn''t

I''ve had a lot of roller coastering in my world (my WAY too long overdue update will be....today!) but in any case that''s no excuse for not writing, and I have been thinking about you and sending strong vibes your way.

You are being brave. I know how hard this is, but you are doing what you have to do, and with a lot of resolve. I don''t remember who said it upthread, but do what you can to reach out to other people when you can--this last year+ for me I have tended to hibernate and hide under rocks and it has made things worse. When you feel safe--and even when it feels a little raw--let yourself lean on people you love and trust, they will be there.

Can''t believe you''re going through this with your Dad too! (Remember my dad''s similar bleeding thing almost 2 years ago when we were both new to LIW?) It is SO scary and I''m so sorry your family is dealing with all of this!!

Fingers crossed for your cardio exam!! And I think Italia sounds like a WONDERFUL thing to do. It seems crazy to contemplate, but you WILL GET THROUGH THIS. YOU WILL.

((((HUGS))))

 

[janinegirly]

going to italy any time of year will be nice. southern italy will be warmer than ne coast in the us/canada.
i don''t understand some of your situation, makes no sense to commit to 6mo''s of no dating. you''re broken up, this isn''t a test of loyalty. it''s a bizarre form of control (on the ex''s'' part) and need to feel controlled (on your part for abiding by it). And not quite sure why some hot jock is so repelling to you..it''s just a date. Cmon, i''m having a hard time feeling sorry for you there. if you say you still behave like a 16 yr old, the only way to get out of that cycle is to stop making excuses, feeling sorry for yourself and start accepting responsibilities for your own happiness. Don''t worry, i''m not anticipating a response,but this is a free country, and i''ll express myself freely.

 

[allycat0303]

Janine: You already made a very unpleasent and cruel remark on the "how did your boyfriend pay" I think this is a little unnecessary.

Blueroses!!!!

We miss you. I know you're going to update in your own time. I can totally relate to how you're feeling, and what you are going through (a little too well). Wait! I just saw TODAY. Seriously Blue, I should be studying. Please don't make me check the boards every three minutes.

We all deal with things in our own way. I hope you're doing well. I"m thinking of you.

No cardio grade yet. I'm stalking the grading system daily. I heard rumors that they were "normalizing" As long as they normalize me into passing.

 

[decodelighted]

I haven''t caught up entirely but wanted to say YEA! ITALY! I went to Italy by myself shortly after my 30th b-day. It was my first trip to Europe (or outside of the US/Canada actually). It was AWESOME, MAGICAL, SUPER INSPIRING & F-U-N! I''d be happy to share more specifics as you plan your trip. I hit Florence, Venice & the Cinque Terre region (Italian Riviera). Heard Rome wasn''t *ideal* for single gals (pickpockets/more crime) but now that I''m braver I might do it. YIPPIE!!! Will catch up on the whole thread now!

 

[allycat0303]

Deco! I left florence and milan off my list (milan because I''m not that into shopping and the travel agency gal said that it was the fashion capital of the world) Do I need milan?

Do I need florence? She said it was *too arts only* I don''t know I''m into museums, but she said she didn''t have a good time. I only have 2.5 weeks, so tell me if there''s some bad choices in that list. Rome is my only do-or-die. I always wanted to share Venice with someone special, so maybe I coud leave that off. Throw some advice at me Babe. I''m booking within the week.

 

[blueroses]

Ally, go study and check back in about an hour--I have to compose a veritable SAGA so don't bother with the every-3 minute refresh game

I have heard Florence is GREAT. My dear friend used to live there and loved it. Honestly, it's ITALY, I don't think you can go wrong. And you can buy SHOES!!!! The leather!! The purses!! The scarves!! The gelato!! The men!!! (I think by Christmas you might be up for some dolce flirting, 6 months be damned??

)

 

[allycat0303]

Blueroses: Ok. One hour. Hugs sweetie. I'm thrilled to see the hot blue poodle back on the board

 

[bookworm21]

Hi Ally,

I understand what you''re saying about the reserved personality. I''m that way too. It''s just that I got so sick of pretty much being stepped on two years ago, I broke up with my bf for my own sake. During that time, I found that other people thought I was attractive. I found that I wasn''t as reserved as I initially though. I found that I had somehow grown into a somewhat different person, one with more confidence, but I was unable to realize all that when I was with my bf.

So although my bf and I are now together, it''s better than it was before. He''s slowly working on his bad habits; he''s staying home a lot more, although there are quite a few late nights. I''ve been going out more and just having my fun, and that helps a lot because it gives a much needed ego boost that, I think, every woman needs once in a while.

I guess my point is that after you get past this time, you will become a stronger person than you are now, and I have a feeling that you will be somewhat surprised at what you find out about yourself.

Hang in there Ally, and if you''re ever in the Bay Area for whatever reason, plan a GTG with us!

 

[SoonIHope]

Ally - I haven''t commented yet (I don''t think?) but I have been following your whole story, and am so glad you have finally gotten yourself out of this relationship and are starting to move on! I think your Italy trip is a FANTASTIC idea and you''ll have an incredible time!!! Italy really is my favorite country and I''m positive you''ll love it!

Rome is my favorite city but I won''t talk about it since you''re already set on that one.

Even if you don''t want to go to museums, I think you should definitely hit Florence, or at least somewhere in Tuscany. There really isn''t anything like being in a completely medieval town! I also went to Cinque Terre (where Deco mentioned) and LOVED it, it is incredibly gorgeous. Venice was a bit touristy for my tastes (I don''t think I heard a single person speaking Italian the whole time), but is undeniably beautiful. I have never been to Milan, Amalfi coast, Capri, or Sicily, but all of them except Milan are high on my list for next time!!

I agree with Mara''s advice about the ring, and agree with everyone that his extracting the promise from you was completely unreasonable. BUT I also see your point, so if I were you I would proceed exactly as you are planning to - just don''t date anyone for the time being but when/if you talk to him again, make a point of stating clearly that you do not intend to stand by the promise going forward because it was unreasonable of him to ask for it in the first place. But if you have an opportunity to date someone before the 6 months is up and you want to pursue it....please don''t feel guilty, and go for it!!

Janine - seriously, girl, let it go. You and Ally disagree about several different things, and that''s fine, but there''s no need to follow her around in multiple threads for the express purpose of insulting her.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 10/18/2006 1:56:22 PM
Author: allycat0303
Deco! Do I need milan? Do I need florence? She said it was *too arts only* I always wanted to share Venice with someone special, so maybe I coud leave that off. Throw some advice at me Babe. I''m booking within the week.

Oooh FUN! I''ll weigh in a little now .. but I have a class pretty soon ... may have to finish up tomorrow a.m.!

FLORENCE: she''s right. Very "museum"-y ... a little urban too .. with all the scooter traffic etc. But beautiful architecture & great food. Depends on what you want to accomplish. Michaelangelo''s "David" is there if I''m remembering right -- I bought some funny lipstick cases with The David on them as friend presents from a street vendor. They were hysterical. BUT ... before you decide to skip it ...There is also the stunningly beautiful Ponte Vecchio (the golden bridge?) JEWELRY/GOLD/GEMS abound! And the best gelato I ever tasted!

VENICE: don''t skip it! One of my best memories was riding on one of many "medium" sized boats at night with a full moon. I ate my big meals in the day so I didn''t have to deal with restraunts at night (feeling a bit self-concious about families eating & crowds etc) ... but I did a couple times meet other tourists & hook up for dinner out. It''s romantic & gorgeous & the food is great & the plazas & churches etc etc. It''s just very different looking with the canals & twisty ... as long as you tell yourself that you''ll BE BACK with someone special SOMEDAY, I think it would be fab.

MILAN: I just went to the train station there, when I was travelling from the Cinque Terre to Venice -- OR -- maybe Florence to Cinque Terre. Can''t remember (been 9 years!) I felt the same way ... fashion, eh? I''m not sorry I didn''t explore.

CINQUE TERRE (Santa Margheretia specifically) ... LOVED IT. Cliff side, sea-side views. Little towns with fresh open air markets & vistas & shops. Take the train from town to town, or .. hook up with a hiking group (though that kicked my A**). My little hiking tour group (Uniquely Europe) there also explored neighboring PORTAFINO and RAPALLO, which I loved! This area was more peaceful, relaxed, friendly ... more of a contrast to NYC which is where I lived at the time. Felt more "vacationy" and like I got a better idea of the Italian way of life than maybe in the bigger cities.

I especially loved travelling by train ... watching regular folks eat squares of seeminly plain but deceptively yummy foccacia-like bread out of wax paper wrappers as the countryside flew by.

 

[allycat0303]

Cinderella: I'm rooting for you, relationships can be a bit of a pain, effort, work disappointment. I know you've been with your man for a long time, so there's bound to be a mountain of stuff you are working through. But it's good that he's working less, maybe his priorities are changing? Maybe with the breakup, he's going to appreciate you more (which you deserve). I guess I'm not the only one in a relationship that was stepped on and let her self confidence get dragged down. I know of course it's not his fault, it's mine, but basic personalities can sometimes make insecurities become magnified. Hugs! We are all here for you if you need us.

Alboicca: I really love your ring

I know, you've had it for x,y, z months but I still lust after it. I even tracked one down in Montreal to try it on.

Cinque Terra is one that has been mentioned to me a few times. My friends went there and said it was the most beautiful taste on earth. Now you're adding Tuscany. I saw under the Tuscan sun and said "one day...blah blah

" This is getting harder though.

I don't know which one to remove, but it looks to me like Venice is starting to wobble.

Thanks for the suggestions.

ETA: Deco: ok. Now Venice is back on.... you know what the problem is? Italy is just so crazy, there's not enough time in two weeks. You gals are wonderful. I'm going to surf a bit and see if I find any real "no". I think I could get a really excited just people watching. I shouldn't have waited this long to go for it. I'm going to throw out all the plans I made with the travel agent and start from scratch with your suggestions.

 

[SoonIHope]

Hehehe, thanks Ally, that made my day!

And the real thing to remember about Italy is - it''s ALL gorgeous!!!! So if you miss one place, or go to Florence instead of Venice or whatever, you really can''t go wrong!! Just do a little research, make some lists of what appeals to you most, and narrow it down, and anything that doesn''t make the cut can just be saved for next time!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 10/18/2006 2:19:44 PM
Author: allycat0303
Italy is just so crazy, there''s not enough time in two weeks.

I know! I was there probably LESS time .. I think! Two days in Florence ... four in the Cinque Terre ... Two or three in Venice? And there was travel from place to place in there too! (And I did the kookiest darn thing ever and scheduled a ten hour layover in Paris from NYC to Florence ... took my luggage & all & did a six hour tourist bus ride of Paris BETWEEN FLIGHTS

) I was just DYING to see as much as I could!!

Can you IMAGINE me cramming my "basic french" study guide in on the first plane leg & then switching to "italian 101" on the teensy flight between Paris & Florence!

BTW--I''ve wanted to go back EVER SINCE! To see more: Tuscany, Rome, Sicily ... but the problem is, I wanna back-track too ... to all the places I already LOVED (especially Santa Marg, Portafino & Venice).

I agree that you can''t go wrong really! And you WILL BE BACK! I''m scheming right now ... maybe for 2008.

 

[TravelingGal]

Ally, first I''d say let''s determine what kind of traveler you are. Do you like to shop? (you''ve said no.) Museums? Churches? Are you someone who loves to sight see or is just sitting around at a cafe people watching more your style?

Secondly, are you an early riser? Like to sort out your own adventures or prefer to be told what to do? Do you love food?

I am a big proponent of NO TOURS, although they have their place for some people. Just like I can''t stand cruises. However I fully understand that traveling alone can be daunting, and tours can help ease some of the anxiety.

That being said, I''d skip the tour you mentioned. Who is the operator? Not only would it be only 2 or 3 nights in each place, but you''d be spending a lot of time on a bus, is my guess. Not a fun way to tour a country. You are literally covering the top to bottom of Italy. And if you are not an early riser, you may hate tours, which often get you up early to get on the road.

Since you are dead set on Rome, I''d "pick a half" and run with it. Either Rome and South, which means you could do Rome, Amalfi and Capri (just to warn you, Capri is pricey so we did not go). Or Rome and North, which means you could do Rome/Florence, and maybe Venice. Not far from Florence is the lovely Tuscan town of Siena.

As for Venice, it was very very touristed, but I will say that upon first glance it is just magic - how long the magic wears is in the eyes of the viewer. I had been in Europe for weeks and was getting a bit jaded with castles, churches and the like, but when I hit Venice, there was definitely WOW factor. Not to mention they say it''s sinking so Venice may not be around for our children or grandchildren''s lifetimes. Venice is definitely a tourist trap...a "dead" city with folks coming in pretty much for the tourist trade. This means plenty of crappy restaurants and bad souvenirs abound. But you can find gems, for sure. And going to the market to get some meat and cheese for a little picnic by the canal is priceless. Just be aware that there is a season for high tides when the city is flooded (I think it''s November, but you''d have to check).

I loved Florence as it''s such a mix of the old and new. David is worth a look and I have the most amazing photo with just me and David, as for some strange reason, I had him ALL TO MYSELF....I don''t even know how it happened. There was just no one there that morning! If shopping is not your thing, you may not love Florence, but I really enjoyed their street vendors, which are always fun. If the travel agent gal said Florence is "too arts only" I have to wonder about her.

Milan I didn''t go to, but I heard there''s not much to recommend it to the the average tourist, except of course the really huge cathedral - which it sounds like you''d enjoy.

What do you see when you picture Italy? Big modern cities, or small quaint towns? I think most people see the tuscan hill towns and the lovely coastal rivieras. TGuy went to Cinque Terre and was in love with it. Amalfi Coast is bigger and to get to the gateway of Sorrento you have to take a train from Naples (which to some is an unnerving experience). Sorrento is OK but the real gems lie further down the coast. However to get to them, you have 4 options: Tour bus (which of course means a tour), City bus, car rental, or scooter rental. Let me tell you, I have never had motion sickness until I rode that city bus CRAMMED with people (here in the U.S. it would have been a safety hazard) The roads are so windy and you can''t see out the windows. Also, Italians don''t know how to queue...it''s a free for all getting onto one of the busses, which only come once an hour or so...maybe more around the holidays. I''m talking shoving, swearing, and Italian grammas hitting you.

But positano is breathtaking and if you''re into hikes, just fantastic.

OK, all that being said, if I were you, here''s what I''d do:

- Fly into Florence and spend a few days there
- Hill towns of Siena and a Lucca/Pisa combo. Pisa itself it not all that great, but IMHO the leaning tower is worth seeing. To see some old advice on how to really enjoy a trip to Pisa, see my report at http://www.fodors.com/forums/threadselect.jsp?fid=2&tid=34408004
- Cinque Terre
- Rome and fly out from there

An open jaw ticket will really help you with regards to time. If you want me to check into logistics for you, I''d be happy to do so...I love travel planning.

You are young and Italy will be there for a future visit. I really think sometimes a fast Italy can be worse!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/18/2006 2:16:25 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 10/18/2006 1:56:22 PM
Author: allycat0303
Deco! Do I need milan? Do I need florence? She said it was *too arts only* I always wanted to share Venice with someone special, so maybe I coud leave that off. Throw some advice at me Babe. I''m booking within the week.

Oooh FUN! I''ll weigh in a little now .. but I have a class pretty soon ... may have to finish up tomorrow a.m.!

FLORENCE: she''s right. Very ''museum''-y ... a little urban too .. with all the scooter traffic etc. But beautiful architecture & great food. Depends on what you want to accomplish. Michaelangelo''s ''David'' is there if I''m remembering right -- I bought some funny lipstick cases with The David on them as friend presents from a street vendor. They were hysterical. BUT ... before you decide to skip it ...There is also the stunningly beautiful Ponte Vecchio (the golden bridge?) JEWELRY/GOLD/GEMS abound! And the best gelato I ever tasted!

VENICE: don''t skip it! One of my best memories was riding on one of many ''medium'' sized boats at night with a full moon. I ate my big meals in the day so I didn''t have to deal with restraunts at night (feeling a bit self-concious about families eating & crowds etc) ... but I did a couple times meet other tourists & hook up for dinner out. It''s romantic & gorgeous & the food is great & the plazas & churches etc etc. It''s just very different looking with the canals & twisty ... as long as you tell yourself that you''ll BE BACK with someone special SOMEDAY, I think it would be fab.

MILAN: I just went to the train station there, when I was travelling from the Cinque Terre to Venice -- OR -- maybe Florence to Cinque Terre. Can''t remember (been 9 years!) I felt the same way ... fashion, eh? I''m not sorry I didn''t explore.

CINQUE TERRE (Santa Margheretia specifically) ... LOVED IT. Cliff side, sea-side views. Little towns with fresh open air markets & vistas & shops. Take the train from town to town, or .. hook up with a hiking group (though that kicked my A**). My little hiking tour group (Uniquely Europe) there also explored neighboring PORTAFINO and RAPALLO, which I loved! This area was more peaceful, relaxed, friendly ... more of a contrast to NYC which is where I lived at the time. Felt more ''vacationy'' and like I got a better idea of the Italian way of life than maybe in the bigger cities.

I especially loved travelling by train ... watching regular folks eat squares of seeminly plain but deceptively yummy foccacia-like bread out of wax paper wrappers as the countryside flew by.

wrote the same time as Deco...seems like she and I are on the same page. The Ponte Vecchio is correct...we caught it early morning when things were still a bit quiet. Just beautiful.

 

[allycat0303]

Deco, TravellingGal: You two have given me so much food for thought. I have to admit, I really wish I had the courage to forgoe the tour, but I''m going alone (first trip alone, and first time overseas) so I''m major chicken poop. I''m leaning heavily on tragalfar as the operator, my mom did tour of europe with them and said it was INCREDIBLE. For price, plane, hotel, it was a very affordable. But the agent also gave me a couple of options in terms of what you can do to add extras. I just need to figure out the cities that are the *must* see.

Travelinggal: Well the thing with Italy is that I want to experience BOTH. I think after searching a bit, I''ve ruled out Venice (I know, I know tourist trap...but forgive me it sounds so romantic

) and florence.

My mom went to Sorrento, and Isle Capri and said I MUST go.

And Cinque Terra, I''m adding on the must list.

I''m thinking maybe I should just do Rome (too many Dan Brown books, obsessed) and maybe Cinque Terra. I heard that Rome would be around 4-5 degrees, I''m a little concerned about Cinque Terra''s weather (northwest Italy?) while the Amalfi Coast may be a little warmer.

So 2.5 weeks (I don''t have a day more because school starts GRRR....) So maybe just Rome and Amalfi Coast (trying to take your advice not to cram too much). I''m a little terrified about the language. Someone told me it was only going to be Italian. I''ve got english, and french, some Spanish, but no Italian.

Let me know if you think this is more doable. Thanks gals!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/18/2006 4:22:21 PM
Author: allycat0303
Deco, TravellingGal: You two have given me so much food for thought. I have to admit, I really wish I had the courage to forgoe the tour, but I''m going alone (first trip alone, and first time overseas) so I''m major chicken poop. I''m leaning heavily on tragalfar as the operator, my mom did tour of europe with them and said it was INCREDIBLE. For price, plane, hotel, it was a very affordable. But the agent also gave me a couple of options in terms of what you can do to add extras. I just need to figure out the cities that are the *must* see.

Travelinggal: Well the thing with Italy is that I want to experience BOTH. I think after searching a bit, I''ve ruled out Venice (I know, I know tourist trap...but forgive me it sounds so romantic

) and florence.

My mom went to Sorrento, and Isle Capri and said I MUST go.

And Cinque Terra, I''m adding on the must list.

I''m thinking maybe I should just do Rome (too many Dan Brown books, obsessed) and maybe Cinque Terra. I heard that Rome would be around 4-5 degrees, I''m a little concerned about Cinque Terra''s weather (northwest Italy?) while the Amalfi Coast may be a little warmer.

So 2.5 weeks (I don''t have a day more because school starts GRRR....) So maybe just Rome and Amalfi Coast (trying to take your advice not to cram too much). I''m a little terrified about the language. Someone told me it was only going to be Italian. I''ve got english, and french, some Spanish, but no Italian.

Let me know if you think this is more doable. Thanks gals!

I would either do cinque terre OR the amalfi coast. I doubt you would regret doing both, but I think your time is so slim...

Some threads you may want to read up on about tours from travelers:

http://fodors.com/forums/threadselect.jsp?fid=2&tid=34826444
http://fodors.com/forums/threadselect.jsp?fid=2&tid=34458956

When did you mother go on trafalgar? I have heard they have had issues over the last few years, including a bankruptcy of their parent company? As far as affordable goes, it may seem that way, but you should price things out. The thing about tours is that means its a lot of people on a bus, which means a lot of rooms are needed. Quaint little hotels are out, bigger places sometimes out on the fringe are in. Be very careful about what you are signing up for and ask where you will be staying. It is no fun to have to pay for a taxi to get into town...or pay for one of their "excursions".

Another thing to keep in mind is that while your mother may have loved it, she is older than you, as well most of the people you will find on tour. Some will be younger, often couples. The people on the tour make or break your trip, as some will be great and others annoying.

I''m not trying to discourage you about tours. It really does have its pros, and it will make you more confident about maybe doing something on your own next time. Whatever you decide to do, I would highly encourage you to do plenty of research. Fodors travel talk boards and tripadvisor is a good place to start.

Sorrento, as I''ve said works as a good base for the area. If you like ruins, there is Pompeii and Ercolano nearby. Did you mother go in the summer? A lot of these ocean towns will have a different feel in the winter, I would imagine. I went in April, and it was lovely.

Don''t worry about the language...you are 2 languages ahead of most Americans, and they do fine. I had Spanish and a bit of French and never had a problem. Plus many italians do try to communicate in English. In heavily touristed areas like Sorrento, people do speak English. If not, you''d be surprised how far charades can take you. Just learn to ask in Italian if people can speak English or French, and you will be fine.

And yes, Venice IS romantic.

 

[firebirdgold]

Don't worry about the language, most europeans speak english at least somewhat. You don't really need it to communicate, just to be polite and even just the traveler basics gets you brownie points.

What sort of things are you interested in? The whole country is pretty much covered in Churches, so that's covered. Tuscany is best for preserved medieval towns as large swathes were very badly hit by the plague, like Siena, so they kinda missed the renaissance. Imho, it also has the best wine and of course leather goods, marbled paper, jewelry, and steak to die for. Florence definitely thrived in the renaissance which is why it has so much art, it also has an amazing cathedral and it's the center for the leather, paper, and jewelry stuff. I haven't been to Venice since I was a kid but I remember beautiful renaissance architecture, masks, porcelain jester dolls, jewelry, and the most amazing glass baubles.

You're going to love Rome! I think it may be my favorite european city so far! Of course I'm a classical archaeology fan, so I hit every ruin I could get to and ignored most of the art. It's as far south as I've been, though. I have a theory that the farther south you go, the more 'Italian' people get which is why Sicilian's are concentrated Italians.

ETA: This summer everytime I tried to say anything beyond hello and goodbye in Italian it came out in French. No one seemed to mind. (probably because I then turned bright red!)

 

[allycat0303]

TravelingGal: My mom went last year, but I read your stuff, I'm going to read more, reviews etc. (Thanks for the reference) It's honestly just a confidence thing ya know. She booked their first class tour, which she said in terms of accomodation were wonderful. I'm not expecting much from the tour. Just need it as a basic security blanket for this. I'm sure it's less scary then my feverish mind is making it. Basically I need a base point (point de répère) and I'm good. If they transport me there, I'll go off on my own to look.

I'm taking some baby steps towards the big independence. Although I really *dream* of just doing it like you would. The next time I go (it's where I want to go for my honeymoon...I know premature right now) but I'm fighting tooth and nail for that. There's a tour for under 30 years old. So I'm probably going to do that. Although I'm pretty chill with people. It actually takes a lot to annoy me in real life. If I feel you are a good person I don't care about the rest. I just don't talk to people who I feel aren't good people.

So I'm concrete now for Amalfi (sorrento and Rome). Ruins. I'm an archeology/palentology freak, so that's going to be insanely exciting. Next trip is Cinque Terra, Venice, Florence. In all realistic, if I pass all finals in June, I'll go again in June. Once at Christmas, once in summer. Did I mention I've never been on a plane? I'm terrified of dying on one, but I'm more terrified of dying without ever seeing Italy. More resarch tonight on the ressources you suggested. I should have booked by tomorrow. That's the plan. Thanks!

IndieJones: I forgot about Tuscany. Darn you. I'm going to have to put that one in too, see if I can fit that in to this trip. And there's Scicily......there's simple too much. I'm just sick about churches. Quebec has like 2 churches for every small (less the 500 people) town and I've been in a zillion. And imagine the king of all churches in Rome? Going to swoon. Stop swearing in french Indie

....

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/18/2006 5:09:13 PM
Author: allycat0303
TravelingGal: My mom went last year, but I read your stuff, I''m going to read more, reviews etc. (Thanks for the reference) It''s honestly just a confidence thing ya know. She booked their first class tour, which she said in terms of accomodation were wonderful. I''m not expecting much from the tour. Just need it as a basic security blanket for this. I''m sure it''s less scary then my feverish mind is making it. Basically I need a base point (point de répère) and I''m good. If they transport me there, I''ll go off on my own to look.

I''m taking some baby steps towards the big independence. Although I really *dream* of just doing it like you would. The next time I go (it''s where I want to go for my honeymoon...I know premature right now) but I''m fighting tooth and nail for that. There''s a tour for under 30 years old. So I''m probably going to do that. Although I''m pretty chill with people. It actually takes a lot to annoy me in real life. If I feel you are a good person I don''t care about the rest. I just don''t talk to people who I feel aren''t good people.

So I''m concrete now for Amalfi (sorrento and Rome). Ruins. I''m an archeology/palentology freak, so that''s going to be insanely exciting. Next trip is Cinque Terra, Venice, Florence. In all realistic, if I pass all finals in June, I''ll go again in June. Once at Christmas, once in summer. Did I mention I''ve never been on a plane? I''m terrified of dying on one, but I''m more terrified of dying without ever seeing Italy. More resarch tonight on the ressources you suggested. I should have booked by tomorrow. That''s the plan. Thanks!

IndieJones: I forgot about Tuscany. Darn you. I''m going to have to put that one in too, see if I can fit that in to this trip. And there''s Scicily......there''s simple too much. I''m just sick about churches. Quebec has like 2 churches for every small (less the 500 people) town and I''ve been in a zillion. And imagine the king of all churches in Rome? Going to swoon. Stop swearing in french Indie

....

Well, let me know if you need more help. I wonder if the Trafalgar under 30 tours are like the contiki tours (which are party buses from what I''ve heard). Personally I think you are braver than me for going on a tour! Hee hee.

Ooh...you''ll love pompeii then. They say ercolano (Herculaneum or something like that in English) is more well preserved, but pompeii was just so grand. I enjoyed both as I just love imaging what life must have been like back then. Mount Vesuvius lurks in the background. Here are some photos of ercolano, pompeii and vesuvius http://volcano.und.nodak.edu/vwdocs/volc_images/img_vesuvius.html.

Ally, I''ve flown over 400,000 miles and I am still afraid of flying. Just know that wonderful things (or home) await you on the other side!!!

 

[Allisonfaye]

I wanted to weigh in on Italy. I think Traveling Gal pretty much has it dead on.

I didn''t go to Milan. Heard there wasn''t much of any interest there.

I definately recommend Siena.(sp?) It was very cool.

I would definately check out Florence. You can do it in two or three days if you aren''t interested in shopping. Make sure you see the ''right'' David at the Academia. There is a fake one outside the Uffizi Gallery.

As far as Venice, this is my view. It is way cool. There is no place like it. Even if there are a lot of tourists, it was SO worth seeing. The reason there are a lot of tourists is because it is so cool. St. Mark''s Cathedral has one of the coolest artworks I have seen in my whole life on the alter. You can easily do it in two days. We were there for three and a half and we were ready to go on. The entire city was under water a week after we were there. It floods often.

If you need some restaurant recommendations, I can try to scrape up some names. I had the best pizza on earth in Florence....the best food for that matter.

 

[flopkins]

ally - I am so glad you are taking a trip!!! is there any way you can convince an friend or family member to join you? It''s always more fun w/someone you know.

Anyway, I hope you go again and do cinque terre and florence. I have no idea what your travel agent was thinking but florence is my absolute favorite city in Italy... but I love the artsy feel of it, and the amazing museums... so maybe I''m biased. But it''s a lot of fun to go shopping there... and cinque terre is fantastic in summer... ooooh you''re making me want to go back now!!

 

[Scintillating]

If you're interested in art the Uffizi (sp?) is the place to go.
I'd never pass up Florence. Milan, however, is a dirty ugly city.
The Amalfi Coast and Capri are a MUST. So beautiful they will make you weep!

A trip is just what the doctor ordered! Get out there and live, and do all the things you've always wanted to do.

Scintillating...
(Thanks for your kind words about my puppy, Ally. They are much appreciated. )

 

[allycat0303]

Travelinggal, Alisonfaye, Flopkins, Scintillating,

Thanks for the mountains of advice on the trip. If you ladies have any other suggestions, please let me know.

SOOO I''m a CRAZY girl, but a happy girl. After a long sleepless night (TravelinGal''s warnings about tours swirling in my head) debating if I should be a *vacation* or trying to *gulp* (i.e read budget

) down Italy in one huge gulp. I took a deep breath, and this morning too the PLUNGE! And I decided I really want to take my time, because this trip is one of my biggest dreams. So it needs to be done in leisurely way so that I don''t miss anything. I''m aiming at never having to visit these regions again, and having the feeling that "I''ve seen everything that needs to be seen there"

I booked:

6 nights at the Grand Hotel Plaza in Rome
4 nights at the Hilton in Sorrento
4 nights Hilton Villa Igiea Palermo (in Palermo)
And my plane ticket

. No tour, just going to plop and fill in the blanks.


TravelingGal: If your TravelingGuy (soooooo cute) or you have any must sees (around these areas). I would love to hear them. I''m going back to the travel agency on Monday (after the check clears) in order to make ground travelling arrangements. So any tips, warnings etc., would be really appreciated.

Scintillating: Honey, I''m so sorry about your puppy and I''m sorry it took so long for me to write. I don''t know if you know but my Kitty was killed by a dog 1 year 1/2 ago, it''s a really painful event for me so I knew that your dog was fine, but finding the words was hard.. Pets are a little of a sore spot for me right now because my ex (he didn''t like cats) but because I loved them he had two cats (Timber and Smokey). So obviously I haven''t seen my cats in 2 weeks and I MISS THEM!!! I had kind of hoped that since my ex didn''t really like cats, he would offer to let me adopt them, but he didn''t offer (I suspect he secretly adores them though, because he takes such good care of them). I have other cats in my life, but I obviously, I miss them a lot. It''s funny how attached you can be to your pets.

 

[KimberlyH]

allycat,

I''ve never been to Italy, so I have no thoughts to share re: your travel plans but I just wanted to say good for you for being so bold as to take this trip just for you! I admire your tenacity.