PS Mommies Thread!

[lili]

Bobo
I''ve said it before and I''ll say it again.
Love your cheruby little B

Such pinchable cheeks.

Sorry to hear that you and DH are going through a rough time.
TGal and Diver offers some really good advice.
Hope everything smooths out soon.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/23/2008 3:40:37 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Diver, my friend said the problem with giving them milk too soon is that they need the iron that is in formula. Her doctor told her she could start at 10 months though (since she was weening around then). Sometimes I think next time I will use generic b/c formula is expensive!!!!

Tell me about it! Be happy you were a trooper and had 6.5 months of FREE booby milk.

 

[Lauren8211]

Thanks for the reply TGal! It definitely answers my question. I told FF last night about the "15 Minute Rule" of crying, and he agreed that was an awesome idea to use when we have our own babies. So thanks for the tips about 5-10 years ahead of time! But FF and I talk about everything child related -- we''ve already had a discussion (ahem, argument) on whether or not we would force our kids to wear helmets while biking. I think I won that one...

What you''re saying is what I kind of assumed; that they could be instilling bad sleeping habits without even knowing it. But, you''re right, the kid will turn out fine.

Her making all of the decisions about the baby without her husbands input is a whole separate issue that I think I''ll steer clear from.

Thanks everyone again!

 

[Jas12]

Elle, i think it is great that you are talking about parenting with your FF--esp if you suspect that you may be differing views on your general philosophy for how things should be done. My husband and I have never have a specific discussion on how we plan to raise kids per se, but since we closely share the same core values in life we are confident things will turn out well. I think sometimes ppl get too caught up in the books and theories and forget to just *live* with their kid and take their cues from the child. I usually research stuff to death but not so with parenting styles (so far). I just plan to see where this crazy role takes me.

Bobo--sorry to hear that you are having issues with your DH. I agree with what Tgal and Diver have mentioned. You need to make time for yourself and your hubby. I know it''s easier said than done. I too dated my hubby for 11 years prior to marriage so i know what you mean by being used to having so much couple time hijacked by a demanding baby. I make sure to fit in some alone time each night after Co goes to bed. I think it is much tricker when you have a more tempermental baby, or in your case, a child with reflux. Tgal--i think your tips are great and have obviously worked for you, but i think it may have a lot to do with amelia''s temperment (mixed with hard work on your part). For example, I know that omitting all night feedings for a BF baby at 3 months is not that realistic and some kids just ''take'' to change a lot easier than others.

I hope things get better Bobo, don''t give up on it.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 9:50:53 AM
Author: Jas12
Elle, i think it is great that you are talking about parenting with your FF--esp if you suspect that you may be differing views on your general philosophy for how things should be done. My husband and I have never have a specific discussion on how we plan to raise kids per se, but since we closely share the same core values in life we are confident things will turn out well. I think sometimes ppl get too caught up in the books and theories and forget to just *live* with their kid and take their cues from the child. I usually research stuff to death but not so with parenting styles (so far). I just plan to see where this crazy role takes me.

Bobo--sorry to hear that you are having issues with your DH. I agree with what Tgal and Diver have mentioned. You need to make time for yourself and your hubby. I know it''s easier said than done. I too dated my hubby for 11 years prior to marriage so i know what you mean by being used to having so much couple time hijacked by a demanding baby. I make sure to fit in some alone time each night after Co goes to bed. I think it is much tricker when you have a more tempermental baby, or in your case, a child with reflux. Tgal--i think your tips are great and have obviously worked for you, but i think it may have a lot to do with amelia''s temperment (mixed with hard work on your part). For example, I know that omitting all night feedings for a BF baby at 3 months is not that realistic and some kids just ''take'' to change a lot easier than others.

I hope things get better Bobo, don''t give up on it.

Elle, I agree with Jas. You can read every book on the planet, but life is different. However, where reading is helps is to put some ammo in the arsenal, so to speak. I have a lot of friends whose kids do "X" and they sit there and have NO IDEA what to do. Not saying they don''t figure it out, but sometimes having ideas from articles of books you read lead you to more quickly react and try someting out. Then try another thing. And another thing. You know what I mean? And sometimes, even simple things that seem obvious aren''t instinctual. I remember Tacori saying that after reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, she said one of the things she did that helped was to bed Tessa to bed when she was tired, which sounds obvious enough but sometimes we don''t see the signs of a tired child.

Jas, I agree that omitting night feedings for a baby at 3 months isn''t all that realistic for many. The doc recommended it to me because Amelia was doing so well. However I do think that 4 months and up, it is a definite *possibility* for healthy babies with no problem. That goes for BF''d babies and Formula fed.

I know I make it sound like Amelia''s a total sleeper, but honestly, her temperment isn''t all that easy (I just sometimes feel like if I don''t make it sound like her sleep is second nature on this forum, I''m gonna get stoned!

) . This is just my opinion, but from many years of observing my friends parent, I think that some people give up even before the gun goes off. They don''t believe that their babies can be conditioned, so they don''t try. They can''t believe a baby can sleep through the night so they won''t even give 10 minutes before they rush to their side.

Well, I believe they can (again, we''re talking a healthy baby with no issues or colic). But it takes a lot of work and a philosophy that many people don''t care to adopt. All my longtime friends parent this way and their kids have had similar sleep track/feeding tracks as Amelia. My current social group of friends do not parent this way (and their kids are awesome and happy, btw, if not a little sleep deprived) and before I had Amelia, I sort of let on my ideas of how I wanted to raise Amelia. They all laughed at me and said "we''ll see when your baby is born." Of course, now they are all amazed that a kid can go to bed at 7 on her own and ask me all sorts of questions about what I think about their kids, to which I have no answers because I have no idea how to help with kids with sleep patterns way of line with what I know. And a few say with their kid, sleeping early wasn''t possible. Well, I''m no authority on anyone else''s kid, but I do know that when you are partying and dragging your kid around out and about at midnight, yeah, they''re not going to be able to sleep because they are not IN BED.

I suppose the above was kind of a vent...eek! And it''s only my (probably unpopular) opinion.

 

[divergrrl]

Elle: In most states (are you in the US?) bike helmets are law until age 16. In my house, bike helmets are law until they are old enough to vote. It''s very easy & simple. They don''t wear gear, they don''t get the goods.

No helmet. No bike.

No life vest. No boat.

No seat belt? No car.

I''m lucky, I can blame it all on local law enforcement!!!

I started really early with Jake. He''s not allowed on his TRIKE without a helmet. he resisted at first, but I stuck with it. DH & I wear our helmets, so its a good example.

The only thing that sucks is the life vest thing. I haven''t worn a life vest in a boat since...gawd, I don''t know. I''m a waterskiier, scuba diver, and swim like a fish. Hence the handle "divergrrl". Hardcore cold water Pacific Ocean in Washington diver. So I''m a total hypocrite there. But I think I''ll let them take them off when they are really good swimmers.

I read every parenting book on the planet before I had kids. I adhere to no one philosophy, but take what works from somethings & run on instinct the rest of the time.

Kids are people too. Original, unpredictable, and each has a unique personality, temperament & disposition. So you have no idea what you''ll get until it gets there. And no idea how you & dh will react until you are in it.

I have no idea if this is true or not...but...DH & I are extremely upbeat people. We laugh a lot. (I married for funny, not for money...LOL) Our house is calm (very calm) and filled with a lot of laughter & silliness. Stressful times are few and far between & dh & I don''t bicker or speak meanly to each other. I very rarely raise my voice. (generally pms related)

Our kids are pretty happy go lucky too. Jake is a serious boy, but he has a lot of fun. Delaney is slap happy stupid silly. She''s a loon. They are pretty calm kids too.

So, based on my own experience: Happy calm house/parents can help produce happy calm kids. We''ll see if it holds true. But my friends who are very stressed out, yell a lot & are pessimistic and/or aggressive have kids just like that.

And I''m not counting babies who are colicky in that, because colic is its own thing & its a physical ailment I believe that passes.

So, I''ll be interested in what hte other moms on here have experienced with kid personalities. Nature vs. Nuture. I know some of it is hardwired, but I do believe environment plays a large role.

 

[TravelingGal]

Diver, interesting on the happy calm house = happy calm kids. That makes sense.

I had to laugh though because my brother and I grew up in an unhappy house that was pretty turbulent in the early years. Except for nights we were crying because something was going on, we were largely happy kids with good senses of humor. We''re probably both the most "life is freaking funny" thinkin'' people you''ll ever meet...but with a sense of cynicism as well (definitely from nuture).

With our upbringing, I have to think that some of our good nature was just hard wired and handed down from my mom.

 

[sasa]

I want to stop by and thank all you ladies on your advice and tips. I really appreciate it. I guess we have a difficult baby on our hand which don''t make things easy. MIL with 25 years of child care experience even said little B is in the top 3 hardest child she ever care for.

Of course there is so much more to it then just the one I list it here, I wish I can just call you guys up and vent.

Thank you all for *listening*.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/24/2008 12:53:18 PM
Author: divergrrl
Elle: In most states (are you in the US?) bike helmets are law until age 16. In my house, bike helmets are law until they are old enough to vote. It''s very easy & simple. They don''t wear gear, they don''t get the goods.

No helmet. No bike.

No life vest. No boat.

No seat belt? No car.

I''m lucky, I can blame it all on local law enforcement!!!

I started really early with Jake. He''s not allowed on his TRIKE without a helmet. he resisted at first, but I stuck with it. DH & I wear our helmets, so its a good example.

The only thing that sucks is the life vest thing. I haven''t worn a life vest in a boat since...gawd, I don''t know. I''m a waterskiier, scuba diver, and swim like a fish. Hence the handle ''divergrrl''. Hardcore cold water Pacific Ocean in Washington diver. So I''m a total hypocrite there. But I think I''ll let them take them off when they are really good swimmers.

I read every parenting book on the planet before I had kids. I adhere to no one philosophy, but take what works from somethings & run on instinct the rest of the time.

Kids are people too. Original, unpredictable, and each has a unique personality, temperament & disposition. So you have no idea what you''ll get until it gets there. And no idea how you & dh will react until you are in it.

I have no idea if this is true or not...but...DH & I are extremely upbeat people. We laugh a lot. (I married for funny, not for money...LOL) Our house is calm (very calm) and filled with a lot of laughter & silliness. Stressful times are few and far between & dh & I don''t bicker or speak meanly to each other. I very rarely raise my voice. (generally pms related)

Our kids are pretty happy go lucky too. Jake is a serious boy, but he has a lot of fun. Delaney is slap happy stupid silly. She''s a loon. They are pretty calm kids too.

So, based on my own experience: Happy calm house/parents can help produce happy calm kids. We''ll see if it holds true. But my friends who are very stressed out, yell a lot & are pessimistic and/or aggressive have kids just like that.

And I''m not counting babies who are colicky in that, because colic is its own thing & its a physical ailment I believe that passes.

So, I''ll be interested in what hte other moms on here have experienced with kid personalities. Nature vs. Nuture. I know some of it is hardwired, but I do believe environment plays a large role.

I am in the US, and I just checked because I was curious, and it is not state law in Michigan to wear bike helmets. Some areas do have laws ( a few suburbs near us) but not our particular city. I was the one who said they SHOULD.. FF was like "Well, we didn''t, and we''re fine!" Which is true, but he still doesnt have a point (which i made clear!

) If you have the technology or information to prevent a seriously damaging injury, or potentially death for your child, you DO it. I think he''ll feel differently once we have kids. If not, well... I''m insisting on this one. Oddly enough, FF would get on ME about seatbelts, because I''d forget at times. Now it''s a habit for me because he made issue about it. Thanks FF!

Also curious to read everyone''s responses to Nature vs Nurture....

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 12:58:31 PM
Author: Bobo ^__*
I want to stop by and thank all you ladies on your advice and tips. I really appreciate it. I guess we have a difficult baby on our hand which don''t make things easy. MIL with 25 years of child care experience even said little B is in the top 3 hardest child she ever care for.

Of course there is so much more to it then just the one I list it here, I wish I can just call you guys up and vent.

Thank you all for *listening*.

Feel free to vent anytime Bobo. And I daresay your MIL would say little B is one of the top three CUTEST babies of all time. He is TRULY adorable.

 

[Jas12]

Tgal--i generally agree with the above, working in a daycare forced me to get a bunch of kids on all different schedules and all sorts of personalities on one particular routine, so conditioning certainly works with persistence and i agree that most ppl give up before giving it a good shot. I know with Cohen i worked for weeks to get him to nap after each ''play session'' and to fall sleep on his own without a paci or my assistance. So i understand that you are suggesting that maybe it is the consistency of the method more than the kid and that we need to try a little harder--i get that, and i don''t take offense (i''ll withhold the stones
Cohen generally has great sleep habits--but alas, he will not sleep thru the night. One thing i try to keep in mind is that as much as i would luv, luv, luv for him to do so, maybe he is not ready. Babies wake for many more reasons than just hunger and while it may be metabolically realistic to expect a child to sleep through the night, developmentally it may not be true. A good example of this is my aunt with 4 kids. I asked her about Co''s sleep habits and she said she had 2 kids that were "amazing sleepers" and 2 that demanded a great deal more from her. Her parenting style remained consistent for all 4 but her kids were just plain different. She assured me they all eventually STTN, but at different rates.

Re books: i think they work best when you identify a need and look to a book for guidance or tips (as Tgal suggested) I think they are an obstacle to good parenting when you look at the book first and the kid second. I remember reading that cluster feeding was great in the early weeks of nursing and so i did as I was ''told'' but something wasn''t working for me and Co and I were both grumpy. When i searched for an alternative i remember feeling a sense of ''ahhhhhh'' *this* is what feels natural to me.

Boy, that seems like forever ago

 

[Jas12]

Diver--it sounds like you have a riot at you place. I bet your house will be on the hot list for sleepovers when J and D grow up. My dad was a big joker and my friends *adored* him. I think they played at my house just to be around him cuz i sure the heck didn''t inherit his wit and charm

I think it''ll be fascinating to see how my kid''s personalities develop and who takes after who--one of the huge joys of parenting

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:02:27 PM
Author: Jas12
Tgal--i generally agree with the above, working in a daycare forced me to get a bunch of kids on all different schedules and all sorts of personalities on one particular routine, so conditioning certainly works with persistence and i agree that most ppl give up before giving it a good shot. I know with Cohen i worked for weeks to get him to nap after each 'play session' and to fall sleep on his own without a paci or my assistance. So i understand that you are suggesting that maybe it is the consistency of the method more than the kid and that we need to try a little harder--i get that, and i don't take offense (i'll withhold the stones
Cohen generally has great sleep habits--but alas, he will not sleep thru the night. One thing i try to keep in mind is that as much as i would luv, luv, luv for him to do so, maybe he is not ready. Babies wake for many more reasons than just hunger and while it may be metabolically realistic to expect a child to sleep through the night, developmentally it may not be true. A good example of this is my aunt with 4 kids. I asked her about Co's sleep habits and she said she had 2 kids that were 'amazing sleepers' and 2 that demanded a great deal more from her. Her parenting style remained consistent for all 4 but her kids were just plain different. She assured me they all eventually STTN, but at different rates.

Re books: i think they work best when you identify a need and look to a book for guidance or tips (as Tgal suggested) I think they are an obstacle to good parenting when you look at the book first and the kid second. I remember reading that cluster feeding was great in the early weeks of nursing and so i did as I was 'told' but something wasn't working for me and Co and I were both grumpy. When i searched for an alternative i remember feeling a sense of 'ahhhhhh' *this* is what feels natural to me.

Boy, that seems like forever ago

Thanks...because I am not good at dodging stones (really bad hand/eye/body coordination!!!)

I do agree that all babies are different and I think your aunt definitely as a point. My BFF had her daughter sleep trained at 4 months and her son at 5 or 6. She just felt her son was not ready yet. Same methods and upbringing for both kids (although it couldn't possibly be exact just for the sheer fact that one had a sibling from the get go and the other did not). I've heard from my friends are saying that their baby "needs" to eat at night (9 month old) and while I don't believe that is true, I can certainly believe that the babies developmentally are waking for different reasons.

And yeah...I can't believe it would be a good thing for anyone to take one book as the bible. HSHHC said "Never wake a sleeping baby." Sorry...we couldn't do that in the beginning. But the one tip I would have NEVER known is the 2 hour of wakefulness guideline (which I have mentioned here before). Jas, I think your book said 45 minutes and mine said 2 hours, so the window is vast and the "magic number" is probably somewhere in the middle for most. Amelia's was consistently one hour and twenty minutes in the beginning. I would have never found her "window" unless I knew to look for it, and I really spent some time looking for it! Not easy to do when all you want to do in your sleep deprived fog is to stick the baby in a swing so you can sleep yourself! I remember playing with her on my lap (on a pillow) every day for several days and just trying to learn to read her with one eye on the clock to see how long it took for her to be tired, but not overtired. I can't tell you what a joy it was to finally understand and learn to read her cues.

Even just this morning, I screwed up. I normally put her down for a nap around 1.5 hours from when she awakes. This morning I got wrapped up reading the news while letting her play on her mat and put her down at the two hour mark (9 am). Oh my god. She was exhausted. I just sat above her crib (out of view) and popped the pacifier into her mouth when it seemed she might want it back. She kept pulling her hair, rubbing her eyes, closing them, them opening them with a unhappy shriek. I really wanted to just take her and put her in the swing to soothe her but I KNOW she needs that morning nap. Finally 20 minutes later, she fell asleep, which is a long time for her to be awake AND unhappy.

I think when stuff like that happens, it can be easy to figure the baby doesn't want to take a nap and to just pick her up and stimulate her into more overtiredness. It's times like this where books have helped me understand what babies generally need biologically. Amelia is still napping as I type this.

 

[lili]

Jas12 and TGal
How do you get Co and Amelia to go down after play time?
I got alot to learn.

I tried letting J CIO for 15 min the other day, and it just sent her into a hysterical mode.

 

[lili]

TGal
I take drool over this anytime of the day.

 

[Jas12]

Tgal--putting the baby to sleep during the ''window'' was the best thing i took from a parenting book as well--a lifesaver. Again, i sought that advice out when other methods didn''t work in the first 2 weeks ( and i was using techniques i used at the daycare, stupidly thinking what worked for older babies would work for Cohen) and from you guys on this forum. Yes, the baby whisper says 45min of wakfulness for a newborn, but an hour or two for an older baby so amelia is textbook and Cohen usually is as well.

Lili--our day is almost always the same. Co wakes up, he eats and then he plays for approx an hour (so he is awake about 1.5-2 hours hours in total including nursing) he sleeps for almost an hour and then the cycle starts again. I loosely follow the 3-hour EASY routine which i am trying to tranisiton to a 4 hour routine. Some days he wakes up an hour earlier or later so the times are not exact, but the routine stays the same. At night he typically wakes at around 2 and 5. Last night he awoke very early and i let him fuss for 20 mins till it turned to full out wailing, then cuddled him for a while, tried the paci, tried the swaddle--and hour later he was still up (and MAD) so i gave in and fed him. I try each night to extend or omit a feeding, but with no luck, sometimes i can get him to go back to sleep--only to re-awake 30 mins later (a good indication it really is hunger). That makes me really mad b/c my sleep gets interrupted twice. The BW says a BF baby should be able to go 5-6 hours by 4-5 months and he is at that mark so i am trying not to obsess, maybe he is just not ready or wants to nurse for comfort, but i guess when i hear of other babies like Amelia going all night i natually want to at least *try* to get there. I just don''t want to push him too much for my wishes.
What does J''s day look like? We all have A LOT to learn, so don''t think it is something you are doing wrong--just look at Jade she is obviously thriving! Do you feel her sleep habits are a real bother for you? If so, try a few techniques, but if you are happy and she seems happy you don''t have to change things just cuz other moms follow a certain routine.
BTW, her hair is SO crazy adorable. Do you have to brush it? I wish Co had some--at least his eyelashes are visible now.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 2:45:10 PM
Author: lili
TGal
I take drool over this anytime of the day.

lili, ha. See below.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 3:44:34 PM
Author: Jas12
Tgal--putting the baby to sleep during the ''window'' was the best thing i took from a parenting book as well--a lifesaver. Again, i sought that advice out when other methods didn''t work in the first 2 weeks ( and i was using techniques i used at the daycare, stupidly thinking what worked for older babies would work for Cohen) and from you guys on this forum. Yes, the baby whisper says 45min of wakfulness for a newborn, but an hour or two for an older baby so amelia is textbook and Cohen usually is as well.

Lili--our day is almost always the same. Co wakes up, he eats and then he plays for approx an hour (so he is awake about 1.5-2 hours hours in total including nursing) he sleeps for almost an hour and then the cycle starts again. I loosely follow the 3-hour EASY routine which i am trying to tranisiton to a 4 hour routine. Some days he wakes up an hour earlier or later so the times are not exact, but the routine stays the same. At night he typically wakes at around 2 and 5. Last night he awoke very early and i let him fuss for 20 mins till it turned to full out wailing, then cuddled him for a while, tried the paci, tried the swaddle--and hour later he was still up (and MAD) so i gave in and fed him. I try each night to extend or omit a feeding, but with no luck, sometimes i can get him to go back to sleep--only to re-awake 30 mins later (a good indication it really is hunger). That makes me really mad b/c my sleep gets interrupted twice. The BW says a BF baby should be able to go 5-6 hours by 4-5 months and he is at that mark so i am trying not to obsess, maybe he is just not ready or wants to nurse for comfort, but i guess when i hear of other babies like Amelia going all night i natually want to at least *try* to get there. I just don''t want to push him too much for my wishes.
What does J''s day look like? We all have A LOT to learn, so don''t think it is something you are doing wrong--just look at Jade she is obviously thriving! Do you feel her sleep habits are a real bother for you? If so, try a few techniques, but if you are happy and she seems happy you don''t have to change things just cuz other moms follow a certain routine.
BTW, her hair is SO crazy adorable. Do you have to brush it? I wish Co had some--at least his eyelashes are visible now.

I really agree with this. When I see other moms doing something with their babies that isn''t my preference but it is totally working for them and they are happy, why would they need to change it?

lili, I totally mix it up with Amelia. She can follow what Co is doing, or it can go the opposite...she wakes, plays, eats and then I put her down. She can go either way right now, so it''s nice to have the flexibility. She''s not set in stone in her nap timing...sometimes (like this afternoon) her nap isn''t as long as usual. She only had an hour nap, and I only feed her every 3.5-4 hours. So if she wakes up and it''s not feeding time, she plays. If she wakes up and it is feeding time she eats. I don''t stick exactly to the EASY routine...I only heard of it from Jas but then I realized early on that was what we were doing naturally. That was when Amelia was on a 3 hour cycle. Now she''s on a 4 hour so it doesn''t work like that. But wow, when she was on a 3 hour cycle, it worked beautifully for her.

As far as your question on how to put her down after playtime...I can''t remember how we managed that. I used to always play first, then feed and then to bed. I think it had to do with her physical therapy...I noticed she was just really tired after it and went down well. So I adopted the eat first, play, then sleep routine. Then she started barfing up her food with too much physical activity after eating (her physical therapy can be pretty active...and sometimes upsetting to her). So I went the opposite route. I guess I just kept trying different things and now she''s pretty adaptable.

One thing I did that was always routine was putting her down. Put her in a swaddle, or a sleepsack (or whatever), patted her on the tummy, kiss on the forehead, lifted the crib rail, close window, close blinds. I don''t deviate from that little routine, so maybe she just understands it''s sleep time? I''ve been doing that since she was 4 or 5 weeks old and she''s just so used to it. Back then I managed to get her down in her "window", so she went down without a fight (no crying, thank god because I didn''t want to CIO that young!) and now I think she''s used to it. She can exhibit no real signs of tiredness, but once she''s down, she''s down...even it means playing by herself for awhile. It''s when I go into overtired zone that I''m in trouble (like today morning).

None of that was really helpful, was it?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 4:00:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 7/24/2008 2:45:10 PM
Author: lili
TGal
I take drool over this anytime of the day.

lili, ha. See below.

btw, this is just the start of the storm. She has spit ups that look like lava flow GUSHING out of her mouth.

 

[softly softly]

Sleep becomes so important when we have babies doesn''t it? I was actually surprised how much time I spent thinking about it, hoping for it, getting frustrated over it after I had my first.

I pretty much approached things in a very similar manner to TGal, although I had a hard time getting my son to nap until he was 6 mths (at which point he would have 2 2hr naps a day and sleep for roughly 12hrs each night). When my daughter was born 18mths later I made sure her bedtime was the same as her brothers and I steered her towards napping at the same time as him. At 31/2 and 2 they still go to bed and nap (or have quiet time) at the same time and it makes all the difference to my sanity.

However, it does seriously impact on my ability to be flexible. I feel strongly that routine is important to all of us, so my life is lived around their schedule with particular attention paid to their sleep time. I''m a SAHM, so this isn''t really that hard to do, but it does limit me at times. Now they are a bit older I don''t mind if they skip their afternoon nap if we have something on, but I am quite particular about making sure they get some rest in the afternoon.

And ladies, I hate to tell you this, but a baby who is a good sleeper can seriously turn things around on you when they get to the toddler stage - in my experience at least. For some reason at around the 3 year mark they learn to draw out bedtime with repeated requests for another story, drink of water etc. Then, if they are anything like my son they start waking you up in the middle of the night for the most trivial of things - i.e pulling their blankets up. I don''t know that it is possible to sleep train after a certain age. We definitely found that CIO, is not really an option after about 12mths. Toddlers seem to have a level of determination that it is not wise to mess with in the middle of the night. Or maybe it''s just my kids??

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/24/2008 6:03:44 PM
Author: softly softly
Sleep becomes so important when we have babies doesn''t it? I was actually surprised how much time I spent thinking about it, hoping for it, getting frustrated over it after I had my first.

I pretty much approached things in a very similar manner to TGal, although I had a hard time getting my son to nap until he was 6 mths (at which point he would have 2 2hr naps a day and sleep for roughly 12hrs each night). When my daughter was born 18mths later I made sure her bedtime was the same as her brothers and I steered her towards napping at the same time as him. At 31/2 and 2 they still go to bed and nap (or have quiet time) at the same time and it makes all the difference to my sanity.

However, it does seriously impact on my ability to be flexible. I feel strongly that routine is important to all of us, so my life is lived around their schedule with particular attention paid to their sleep time. I''m a SAHM, so this isn''t really that hard to do, but it does limit me at times. Now they are a bit older I don''t mind if they skip their afternoon nap if we have something on, but I am quite particular about making sure they get some rest in the afternoon.

And ladies, I hate to tell you this, but a baby who is a good sleeper can seriously turn things around on you when they get to the toddler stage - in my experience at least. For some reason at around the 3 year mark they learn to draw out bedtime with repeated requests for another story, drink of water etc. Then, if they are anything like my son they start waking you up in the middle of the night for the most trivial of things - i.e pulling their blankets up. I don''t know that it is possible to sleep train after a certain age. We definitely found that CIO, is not really an option after about 12mths. Toddlers seem to have a level of determination that it is not wise to mess with in the middle of the night. Or maybe it''s just my kids??

It''s not just your kids. My BFF (who I mentioned sleep trained her daugther at 4 months and her son at 5-6 months) had an absolute BATTLE on her hands when her daugther turned 3. I''m talking screaming fits when going to sleep, waking up, asking for stuff, refusing to go back to her room etc. Since my BFF''s husband is an anethesiologist, my BFF felt it was imperative for the household to have some peace and quiet so BFF''s DH wouldn''t go into surgery half asleep. I will not tell you what she did to resolve this (it''s the only time where I thought her discipline sounded a bit extreme for even me) but my friend won after about 1 or 2 weeks of this. My other close friend''s son went through something similar (but not as dramatic) at the same age - 3.

Which is why I am so into sleep NOW. Not because I think it will form a lifetime of great habits and start smooth sailing...but if I am going to have to deal with that later, I want some sanity while I can have it!!!!

 

[lili]

Jas12
Her day time schedule is all over the place.
Most time, I would be able to get her down (on the boobs of course), but usually can''t get her to stay down.
She''d be up in 15 minutes or so and be all happy.
Normally I''d be okay with it, but I can tell that she''s dead tired -- rubbing eyes and pulling on hair.
The last 2 days were really bad, she only get a total of 1 hour nap in the course of 12 hours.
It frustrates me because I tried everything to get her down -- put her on the boobs, rock and sway her, sleeps with her.

Anyway, thanks for the comment about her crazy hair.
Would you believe that she lost a whole bunch of hair already?
I find her hair all over the place -- on the bed, on her clothes and mine.
Hehe, I didn''t do anything to it....tried to brush it down even.

 

[lili]

Date: 7/24/2008 4:00:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
lili, ha. See below.

Hehe, I am such a bad mom.
Having fun at the expense of her kid's misery

But in my defense, it doesn't like look she's in pain there.

I know what you mean about GUSHING.
J had me scared one morning when she just turn on the faucet and let out a sprout of vomit.
Drenched her and me and the bed sheets.

ETA: haha, Amelia doesn't look too happy about you taking that pix.

 

[TravelingGal]

lili, whether you are having fun at the expense of her or not (and you aren''t), it''s a great photo, full of "action." A keeper for sure.

And yeah, Amelia got me (shirt and shorts), her shirt, the chair we were sitting, AND the floor...all drenched. It was quite a feat.

 

[ellaila]

OMG, those spit-up pics -- hahahha!!!! That look on Jadelyn's face is too much! And TGal, Amelia looks so teeny there - when was that taken? She looks like she's got some serious attitude there! Love it.

Speaking of A and J ... I was at the mall yesterday and there was a mom holding a little baby who had a face sort of like Amelia and hair like Jadelyn!

I'm feeling a bit brain-frazzled these days, which is why I'm not posting much. (I just got into Facebook, and darnit if those word games aren't addictive!!) Still reading this and the preggo thread though when I can .... getting anxious for Q to have that baby!! And of course checking in on my sisters in twinmomminess

Oh and Diver, I just signed up for the Grocery Game - if I knew your email address, I'd enter you as a referral so you could get some free weeks! There's no way to do that in PS though, right?

 

[Jas12]

Lili--well, Co is joining J in a refusal of the bottle (we must have wonderful nipples that just can''t be competed with He refused again yesterday and pretty much had a temper tantrum! Shheesh. He was fine with it until this past week. I think where i went wrong was allowing too much time to pass in b/w bottle feedings. When Co ate every 2 hours he used to get a bottle a couple times a week from Charlie but now i am never away from him for 3 hours at a time so i rarely need to pump. I guess i will have to come home from the wedding iam attending tomorrow to feed him.
I have one more nipple similar to his soother to try, hopefully he takes it.



Just finally got around to watching ''The Business of Being Born" (that documentary by Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake) --it was very good! It is really hard to ignore that maternity care in the US (and canada i am sure) is in "a crisis". It is a ''must see'' for anyone interested in how this industry has been shaped over the past century. Some of the stats are shocking. Also, a few really touching birth scenes (one of them Ricki Lakes'') that even made Charlie tear-up while we were watching

 

[Ali]

Date: 7/25/2008 9:05:42 AM
Author: ellaila

Oh and Diver, I just signed up for the Grocery Game - if I knew your email address, I''d enter you as a referral so you could get some free weeks! There''s no way to do that in PS though, right?

For the privacy and protection of our members, no personal information (including emails) is allowed on Pricescope.

You can find a link to the policies at the bottom of every forum page.

https://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/faq.asp?mode=policy

 

[ellaila]

Thanks, Ali - that''s what I thought! Sorry, Diver! Will let you know how GG works out though. I was reading reviews that the first few weeks aren''t usually so great b/c sales go through 12-week cycles, so I''m curious to see how this goes ...

 

[TravelingGal]

Ella, Amelia looks little in that pic? I think she looks like a giant squash head. (That probably doesn''t translate well into English, but in Korean, you use squash as the veggie of choice to describe a big head. Watermelons also are an option but that''s seriously one big head.) It''s the worst pic of her (doesn''t even look like her to me) but I had to post the spit up pic after lili posted J''s. Amelia was 100 days old in that pic.

Don''t stay away for too long stretches at a time Ella, we miss you!!

Jas, I think I heard that doing one bottle a day helps with rejection. I didn''t listen to that advice either and didn''t breastfeed Amelia once a day toward the end (I pumped and put it in her bottle). She started rejected the boob very quickly after that. Obviously my nipples aren''t as awesome as yours and J''s. Hee! My child choose bloody silicone over me!

 

[TravelingGal]

Hey again moms...

I am going to be interviewing nannies to come and help me out a couple of days during the week when I go back to work. I have some ideas of questions to ask, but do you have any suggestions for Q''s to ask during the interview? Thanks gals!!