PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[fieryred33143]

What is this Sex you all speak of

No but seriously, we did around 3.5m PP and it was not a good experience. Then we rang in the New Year (ha!) and it was better but not what it used to be so we''ve been taking it slow.

Funny story though, this weekend we were going to and when we got to bed I was sooooo tired that I closed my eyes and said "let me know when you are ready" and FI said "ok I''ll let you know" and then started snoring hahahaha losers.

 

[AmberWaves]

Since I moved my PP visit to 8 weeks, the OB was like, you are free to resume all activities! Then she said, let''s talk birth control. Paul almost exploded with joy, and keeps mentioning "She said we were free to resume all activities!" Yeah, good thing I sent my BC into the mail order prescription people instead of filling it at CVS here. Paul said, "What?? She said to take it today!" Dude, the baby sleeps in our room, I can''t!

 

[anchor31]

Sex: Yeah, DH talks about sex a lot. We haven''t done it since a few days before I gave birth (we were trying to get things going!) and I''d been on pelvic rest for 2 months before that time. He seems to think things will be... erm, "easier", but I''m kinda terrified. I''m having a IUD put in on February 24th and he can''t wait... but I really want to go slow, so he''ll have to be patient.

Anyway, Jacob had a doctor''s appointment yesterday and all is well. He''s up to 9lbs and following his growth curve. He''s a small baby (15th percentile), but healthy!

 

[phoenixgirl]

GOF -- didn''t mean to mislead anyone into thinking this was happening all the time. Just a few times since 6 weeks PP. At least DH has been good about complimenting me because I''m not feeling myself these days either. Things have gone from bad (I think the first time was aborted) to ok, but there haven''t been any really good times for me since the great baby conception of ''09. Next time we get the energy, that is the goal!

 

[Mandarine]

I told DH I wanted to resume sex...one day. He said ok, this was like two weeks ago.
At 6 weeks PP, the Dr said I was free to have some sexy time...I was like...noooo thanks!!!...But now I''m ready, I just don''t know how to get over the dry hump!!! It sucks!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Blen DUST

All the cutie babyies!

Mela LOL! I know you guys have been playing with fire so it wouldn't surprise me at all!

Sex Well we started again at 6 weeks pp but didn't really get back into it until more like 4-6 months or so? It felt different at the start. The pelvic floor is so involved in climax and with it all shot to heck it sure didn' feel all that great. But since getting in better shape again it feels better. Still, different positions work now than worked before. So odd. I won't go into details

but the angles inside me since giving birth had all changed. So that is interesting. Not to mention being so much looser.

Anyways, pre-preggo we were once a week types, and now we aim for that but it is more like once every 2 weeks. Life is busy! What can I say. But I don't know it if is just us, but personally I am now finding sex much better than it was before we had baby, even if it is less frequent. DH agrees. Anyways, don't worry about it! Not doing or doing it is normal, at least from everyone I know.

Re having a second Well we are planning, tentatively, to TTC in the fall. I never went back on any BC after having Hunter so it will be a simple thing to start. But although I want another baby most of the time, the thought of being pg again and going through the post-partum period of physical recovery is NOT pleasant! I had a rough recovery, it was close to 6 months before I was healed (my tailbone was fractured we figure and I had so much stretching of the pelvic floor that it was ages before my strength was back. Darn big mal-positioned baby!). Anyways, I am also not sure what to do for my career. If we get pg this fall then I will have been in my job for 18 months when I take another mat leaves (12 months here). They stop the tenure clock when you have a baby, but I am concerned about whether or not 18months is long enough to get a research programme going so that I can keep publishing while I am on leave

In Canada it isn\t terribly difficult to get tenure, but I still want to do my best. And I also kinds want to get an early career award

We also want to have the majority of the debt we incurred buying our house paid off (not motgage, other debt) prior to my mat leave and the subsequent $2000 per month cost of daycare for two kids!! Anyways, we will be TTC some time between September and April of next year. I think we will know when it is right!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 2/2/2010 11:45:14 AM
Author: Mandarine
I told DH I wanted to resume sex...one day. He said ok, this was like two weeks ago.
At 6 weeks PP, the Dr said I was free to have some sexy time...I was like...noooo thanks!!!...But now I''m ready, I just don''t know how to get over the dry hump!!! It sucks!

Have a glass of wine and just go for it. The first time pp will not be great anyways.... though you had a cs right? I wonder if it will make a difference since you pelvic floor was not all messed up? Hmm.. you will have to report back!

 

[AmberWaves]

Since I had the beauty of pushing my big baby and ending up with a c, I wonder what''ll happen? I mean, nothing was torn but I did feel the pressure and nothing in the "butt" area is the same now, despite not pushing her out.

 

[vizsla]

AMEN! get that first sexy time ov-ah with... and make sure you have a sense of humor about it... b/c for me it was awful. born again for sure! i think we gave up after 10 mins ... since then things have been sketchy but better - we are BOTH so tired ... but i try to make time for a hubby cuddle every night. sometimes that''s better than sexy times.

ugh, 1/2 way thru the day..... i can do it, i can do it.

p.g. funny you mention ''being a bad mom'' - because that''s exactly what it feels like. DH said the same thing last night - that day care does not make me a bad mom..... gah, somedays i wish i could have taken my maternity leave months 3-6. not that C didn''t need me in the beginning ... but *i''m* so much more attached now...... i''m just sooo used to being with him allllll dayyyyy and being a MOM, not this person i am at work - doesn''t even *feel* like me anymore. being away from him allllll dayyyyy seems so wrong

must.find.new.flexible.job

 

[steph72276]

Date: 2/2/2010 11:50:26 AM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 2/2/2010 11:45:14 AM

Author: Mandarine

I told DH I wanted to resume sex...one day. He said ok, this was like two weeks ago.

At 6 weeks PP, the Dr said I was free to have some sexy time...I was like...noooo thanks!!!...But now I''m ready, I just don''t know how to get over the dry hump!!! It sucks!

Have a glass of wine and just go for it. The first time pp will not be great anyways.... though you had a cs right? I wonder if it will make a difference since you pelvic floor was not all messed up? Hmm.. you will have to report back!

Ditto DD! Just go for it to get that first time anxiety out of the way. I had a c too and don''t remember hurting or it feeling bad the first time after Andrew, but then again, that''s been 5 years ago so I might have forgotten. My husband is ALREADY talking about it, and I''m like don''t even talk, you still have at LEAST 5 more weeks buddy!

 

[AmberWaves]

Breastfeeders: Do you leak during sex? I wonder about this, as I''m not too keen on dousing the husband with Captain Righty during the first sex since umm, 11 months almost exactly.

 

[fieryred33143]

Being a working mom does suck some times (I would even venture out to say most of the time).

Yesterday Sophia got really sick. She had diarrhea followed by projectile vomit twice in 10 minutes. MIL calls me and I call the nurse. She says "bring her in if she does it again" and while she was finishing that sentence MIL was on the other line to say she did it again. So I rushed home to take her to the pedi.

Know how long it took me to "rush" home? 2 hours. It was pouring rain outside so I couldn''t see very well and everyone was driving slow. Then I realized sh!t I need gas so I stopped and to get back on to the highway took forever.

2 hours to get my very sick baby to see someone to feel better

 

[phoenixgirl]

Viz, well, you know I am seriously considering resigning in June, but I do think we need to give things a few weeks before jumping to any conclusions about what we want to do in the future because we're crazy hormonal messes right now who shouldn't be making any big decisions.

But yeah, seriously, if you can't stand your commute and crazy expectations at work, we'll all send you dust to find something that works better! In the meantime, though, let's make it a goal to get through February (hey, at least it's a short month!).


First time after a C/S -- well, there was no looseness or pelvic floor weirdness to worry about, but there is the incision. Try to avoid putting pressure on the incision because it kills the mood quickly when you exclaim, "Ouch!" in the middle of DTD. Also, you may find you need KY because of hormonal changes. Honestly, if I weren't such a perfectionist, I'm not sure we would have done it at all; I'm just the kind of person who makes myself eat right, exercise . . . no matter what. So I wasn't going to let this part of our lives slip either, even if I didn't feel like it. Once you get over the hump (ha!) it's easier each subsequent time.

Mandy, I can totally relate. I told DH I was ready to DTD several times, but I was too exhausted/hormonal/blobbish to initiate things. I figured this would be enough. But DH wasn't really doing that because, well, it's weird when you haven't done it in a while and had a baby in the meantime. So I was all, what, you don't want to? And he was all, what, it's just up to me to do this? And I was all, what, me saying it and being up for it isn't enough? And he was all . . . ok, you get the idea.

Amber, I'm not about to find out the answer to your question, so I keep my top on. This discourages rough handling of this sensitive area anyway. Plus all the ladies keep their tops on in the movies. And then you don't have to look at your floppy post-baby belly. It's a win, win.

 

[mela lu]

I think I'll test tomorrow. These symptoms are very strunge indeed.

viz -n funny you mention nicole ritchie's hair...when i went to the hairdresser, I asked for nicoles 'do, but she told me those bangs wouldnt work on my small forhead lol
going to nap. I'm feeling so dizzy!

If I am PG, I'd be surprised but VERY HAPPY

Also, When we DTD now, there is a weird 'clicking' that occurs on every pump.

Aside from being distracting, I think its weird?! Anyone heard if this? I think its me clicking, not him

 

[fieryred33143]

Mela, you being KU will change the drink menu for our GTG drastically so make sure you POAS soon please.

 

[mela lu]

Date: 2/2/2010 12:50:59 PM
Author: fiery
Mela, you being KU will change the drink menu for our GTG drastically so make sure you POAS soon please.

bah haha! shiz!!!!!!

 

[cdt1101]

Mela - clicking??? HAHAHAHA! sorry, but I almost spit out my soup when I read that! No clicking for me, but sex is just not the same since baby.

My DH and I were never very active (he has low testosterone), so we were like once a week *most* of the time before baby, now it''s more like twice a month

For the most part, we are both fine w/ that, neither complains, but sometimes I do wish that we both had more desire.

And I agree w/ everyone else, DEFINITELY get liquored up before DTD the 1st time after baby

For me, everything felt VERY tight and still does which makes it not the most comfortable sometimes.

But yeah, I don''t have high hopes to ever get KU unexpectantly because we just don''t do it enough. We definitely have to both be on board and *try* to conceive. Not very romantic

.

It is what it is though, I accepted LONG ago that my DH is just not one of those men that''s up for a romp all the time.

DREAMER - I STILL have issues w/ my tailbone 8 pp! It sucks, it feels weird for lack of a better word and sometimes if I sit a certain way it pops

. Goes numb a lot too. I definitely do not look forward to the pain I was in after birth though...hopefully I''ll dodge that bullet the second time around (w/ the tailbone).

 

[fieryred33143]

I''m getting frustrated with PS today

On that note:

CDT...there are always sales to come to Ft. Lauderdale from Jersey

One time I went to Atlantic City for $7 round trip

My condo is small but Sophia won''t mind sharing a room and then we can all crash Mela''s place

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 2/2/2010 1:27:38 PM
Author: fiery
I''m getting frustrated with PS today

On that note:

CDT...there are always sales to come to Ft. Lauderdale from Jersey

One time I went to Atlantic City for $7 round trip

My condo is small but Sophia won''t mind sharing a room and then we can all crash Mela''s place

$7!! that''s awesome! I like your thinking

 

[dcgator]

Date: 2/2/2010 1:27:38 PM
Author: fiery
I''m getting frustrated with PS today

On that note:

CDT...there are always sales to come to Ft. Lauderdale from Jersey

One time I went to Atlantic City for $7 round trip

My condo is small but Sophia won''t mind sharing a room and then we can all crash Mela''s place

Hello my dear,

I imgine that I my conversation with someone might have added to some of your frustration. Sorry...Some people really make me upset with their biased and rude opinions too.

But, I did want to say thanks for stepping up for me.

You are too sweet. I will have to stop in here more just to say hi. Say hi to Sophia for me and I hope she is feeling better.

PS. I am seriously missing SoFL now b/c we got slammed with snow this weekend and they say there is another HUGE snow storm coming this weekend...

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 2/2/2010 1:56:22 PM
Author: dcgator

Hello my dear,

I imgine that I my conversation with someone might have added to some of your frustration. Sorry...Some people really make me upset with their biased and rude opinions too.

But, I did want to say thanks for stepping up for me.

You are too sweet. I will have to stop in here more just to say hi. Say hi to Sophia for me and I hope she is feeling better.

PS. I am seriously missing SoFL now b/c we got slammed with snow this weekend and they say there is another HUGE snow storm coming this weekend...

And snow! Yuck what are you doing in snow!!! Getoutofthere!!!

 

[fieryred33143]

So I was reading Mara''s birth story and I thought to myself that even though I''m leaning more towards one and done, if I could do the "meeting your baby for the first time ever" over and over again, I probably would because that''s such an awesome feeling.

That may be enough to push me to TTC for another.

But only once Sophia learns how to change diapers and prepare a bottle. I fully expect to put her in the nighttime rotation

 

[sbde]

gorgeous baby pics everyone!!

i love seeing all the PS babies. i wish i *knew* you on that other site so that you could see piccies of my little one.

is it odd that even though J is a year old now I still lurk/post on this thread rather than the one for 12 mos plus?

anyways there was just an article on getting busy after having a baby on msn.ca like 2 days ago. i can''t find it for the life of me now but it really hit home how it is completely natural to not be ready for a WHILE. there were examples of ppl who had waited well over a year before even trying, and how everyone is so different in how they feel after having a baby.

 

[sbde]

oh and all this talk about baby #2 has me seriously missing being preggo too! damn all you enablers

 

[vizsla]

tee hee firey - night time rotation... hahahahahahahaha

p.g. i totally get it! i need to give myself some time here before i throw up my hands, but (please tell me this is normal) - i am just so resentful of everyone who gets to spend more time with him during the day then i do. his grandparents get a day, DH gets a day... and i get to go to work all day (stomps foot) no fair.

what is weird is that i know i thought about this very same situation before having children... i just didn''t realize i would be *so* opposed to it after... and feel so slighted out of the equation... i mean, why have babies if i''m going to give them to someone else to care for all day? irrational? absolutely! hormonal? you betcha!

at least i can see that, right?

OMG mela.. i''m dying for you to POAS the first time after DTD my DH demanded that i go to CVS and get a PG test because he just ''knew'' i was PG... silly boy... i think he was more like "holy sh*t".

 

[ChinaCat]

Hiya ladies! This thread is making me giggle today.

Sunkist- Aww, the stretching themselves awake thing is so sweet. DH, my parents and I used to barter over who got to wake O up, b/c that stretching thing is just the cutest. He doesn''t really do that anymore- now he''s sleeping on his tummy and when I go in to wake him up/get him up, he''s humping/rocking back and forth on his knees playing. Still cute, but not sweet!

Mela-

the haircut! You are CRAZY to want to be preggo, but I will be so happy for you if you are!!! Keep us posted.

LL- Sorry you are sick. I am dreading that with O, knock on wood. Love your comparison pics. Keep meaning to ask you, do you ever call him Cal or anything, or is it always Calvin?

Steph- Welcome to the newborn thread (again)!!!! Will be interested to hear how your experience is this go round. Is it easier? Just like you remembered? Evan and Andrew are sooo sweet.

Viz- I really wish I could come over and take you out for a glass (ok, who am I kidding, a bottle) of wine. I was a miserable MESS when I went back to work and could have really used someone to talk to. My heart hurts for you, but I PROMISE it won''t be this bad every day. And you are not a bad parent, when Charlie gets a little older he is going to love the interaction at daycare. Just try to get through the first few weeks, and then re-evaluate. I ended up going to talk to someone b/c I was really worried I was having PPD, but it was just the combo of going back to work/exhaustion/pumping/sadness. Once I got through 2 weeks, it was so much better.

Fiery- Here I am!!! I am trying to get all my work done like a good worker bee so I can get home at a decent hour, see O and then head off to my LOST watching party!!!! What are you guys doing? Does R watch?

Sexy time: Hmmm. I will say the first time really hurt, but I literally gritted my teeth and got through it. Doesn''t happen often, but it has been loads better since. Lots of wine at dinner helps, as does having a babysitter who puts O to sleep before we come home so we aren''t on baby duty, which kills it for me. My biggest problem is I am just so tired all the time that if I have a chance I want to SLEEP and honestly, DTD delays it for me and it''s just not worth it to me right now. I hate that and I feel bad for DH, but at this point it feels like everyone needs so much from me, that feels like just one more thing on my "to do" list. Also, I am NOT READY for another one and even though I''m on the minipill, I don''t trust it and NOT doing it is the safest way. Luckily I don''t feel all that bad about my post baby body and DH is totally raring to go. I try and tell myself I am lucky that he''s still into me that way and how sad I would feel if he wasn''t, but honestly most of the time I want to say "Will you stop touching me!" I try and throw him a bone or two occasionally to keep him happy, but I really wish I wanted to do it more. It is getting tons better though. We are taking a mini-break at the end of the month and hopefully sun + sleep + margaritas + no O will do the trick.

Well, I tried NOT feeding O when we woke up last night. EPIC FAIL. He got up at 3 and instead of feeding him like I normally do, I just soothed him back to sleep. Great, except that he woke up 30 mins later hungry. So instead of being up for 45 mins-1 hour, I was up for almost 2 1/2 hours, and I am EXHAUSTED. Not doing that again anytime soon. Grrr...

WEANING: About how long did it take for your milk to completely dry up? I am planning on slowly weaning but am trying to figure out if I''m going to have to take my pump to Mexico or not. I have a month. Doable?

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 2/2/2010 2:37:50 PM
Author: vizsla
tee hee firey - night time rotation... hahahahahahahaha

p.g. i totally get it! i need to give myself some time here before i throw up my hands, but (please tell me this is normal) - i am just so resentful of everyone who gets to spend more time with him during the day then i do. his grandparents get a day, DH gets a day... and i get to go to work all day (stomps foot) no fair.

what is weird is that i know i thought about this very same situation before having children... i just didn''t realize i would be *so* opposed to it after... and feel so slighted out of the equation... i mean, why have babies if i''m going to give them to someone else to care for all day? irrational? absolutely! hormonal? you betcha!

at least i can see that, right?

OMG mela.. i''m dying for you to POAS the first time after DTD my DH demanded that i go to CVS and get a PG test because he just ''knew'' i was PG... silly boy... i think he was more like ''holy sh*t''.

Same thing happened to me. We never planned for me to be a SAHM, and honestly didn''t think I''d want to, but once he got here I was VERY upset that I had him, just for other people to see him more than me

But such is life right now, so I just take it day by day and try to keep my negative feelings in check...easier said than done some days!

Hang in there, and we are here whenever you want to vent...hormonal, irrational and all

 

[ChinaCat]

Fiery- My mom is one of 6 kids and her youngest sister is 10 years younger than her. When E was born, my grandmother stuck her crib in my mom and aunt''s room and made them get up and feed E a bottle in the middle of the night. Genius!

 

[Blenheim]

Mela, POAS! I''m going to be very jealous if you are KTFU.

Steph - welcome over to this side of things again!

Having a second - Our plans are completely up in the air right now. We will be preventing until we both have jobs and I have gotten established enough in my job that I''d feel okay getting pregnant. But I WANT ONE NOW. (Stamps feet and pouts.)

GTG - That would be awesome. I get the couch.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 2/2/2010 2:52:02 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Fiery- My mom is one of 6 kids and her youngest sister is 10 years younger than her. When E was born, my grandmother stuck her crib in my mom and aunt''s room and made them get up and feed E a bottle in the middle of the night. Genius!

Why else would you need more children if its not to take care of the children you already have?

lol!

My mom is one of 10 and my dad was one of 7. My grandmother likes to joke that she retired from being a mom after baby #6 lol.

And yes R does watch! This was his email to me early this morning:

Babe what are you going to do about LOST? You still staying late at work? It''s tonight!!!!!!!! Wow, I’m excited. lol