PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Blenheim]

There''s no way that I''m going to be able to catch up right now, so sorry to those who I miss!

Anchor, that sounds absolutely terrifying. I cannot imagine. Hugs.

CDT- poor little Lex. I hope that you get diagnosis and meds and everything figured out for him. In case you want positive anecdotes - I had childhood asthma, and once it was under control I was very much into sports and (with the exception of a couple of asthma attacks that required immediate treatment) my asthma didn''t give me too much trouble. I eventually outgrew it, although I still have a tendency for any sickness to turn into broncitis. But I just deal with it, and it doesn''t really affect my life too much at this point.

Viz - I understand what you mean, and hope that the longer sleep segments come sooner rather than later. I can''t imagine going that long waking up every 45-60 minutes. I love that pic, btw.

Mara - George was "standing" quite early and has yet to walk, so you may not need to panic yet. I love 7ish weeks... they''re still almost newborns, but it just melts my heart when they smile and interact.

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 3/23/2010 6:04:31 PM
Author: Blenheim
There''s no way that I''m going to be able to catch up right now, so sorry to those who I miss!


Anchor, that sounds absolutely terrifying. I cannot imagine. Hugs.


CDT- poor little Lex. I hope that you get diagnosis and meds and everything figured out for him. In case you want positive anecdotes - I had childhood asthma, and once it was under control I was very much into sports and (with the exception of a couple of asthma attacks that required immediate treatment) my asthma didn''t give me too much trouble. I eventually outgrew it, although I still have a tendency for any sickness to turn into broncitis. But I just deal with it, and it doesn''t really affect my life too much at this point.


Viz - I understand what you mean, and hope that the longer sleep segments come sooner rather than later. I can''t imagine going that long waking up every 45-60 minutes. I love that pic, btw.


Mara - George was ''standing'' quite early and has yet to walk, so you may not need to panic yet. I love 7ish weeks... they''re still almost newborns, but it just melts my heart when they smile and interact.

Thanks Blen..it really helps to hear a story like yours. I appreciate you letting me know that even if he does have asthma as he gets older he can still be active (I was really into sports growing up and would want that for him too...if he wants of course

)

Mara - I had an early stander too, and eventhough at almost 10 months he''s cruising around furniture like a pro, I just don''t see him walking anytime soon. He could prove me wrong, but my mommy sense tells me we are at least a few months before he''s walking on his own.

 

[puffy]

mara we didn''t use a walker for B, but he had an exersaucer and a jumper. he did have a walker at my parents place but he didn''t use it very often. i know a few of the other toddler mommies had a walker for their kids. and about standing and an early walker...B used to stand on us all the time but he didn''t officially stand on his own without assistance until just about 10 months, which was kinda late i think, but he walked really early, just about a few weeks after he was standing on his own.

 

[Sha]

I understand what you''re saying too, vizla. I also think Tgal made some good points in her last post, as well.

November - I''ve just started supplementing a well, in preparation for going back to work. I don''t think I''ll be able to pump enough either, esp. sine pumping at work will be difficult. I started by mixing the formula and breastmilk together (1/2 and 1/2), to make the transition easier. Dalila didn''t seem to like the mixture though, so after I while I started mixing the formula by itself, and she took to that better. At the moment, I''m using SMA gold - no issues so far.

I would do the formula and breastmilk bottles separately.

 

[Mandarine]

Wish me luck gals........
Lucas is going to sleep tonight with two arms out of the !...or we''re going to try at least!. I warpped the blanket around his waist so he still a snug feeling (that''s what I did with Alex).
Alex has been sleeping in a sleep sack for about 4 days now!

I''m so close to never having to see those miracle blankets ever again! SO, SO, SO, SO close!. It only took over a month...hehe

In other news, I went running today with them and I must say...these dudes are getting HEAVY!!!!!!!!!!!. OMG, I ran 3 miles, but it felt like it was 6 miles!!!. It''s definitely a much harder workout when you have to push 30 lbs of baby in a huge stroller. Thank God the BOB is easy to push, but it still tiring!!!!!

And in other- other news...DH annoyed the heck out of me today. He plays tennis twice per week. I try to make it so that I don''t do baths when he plays, because I have to end up bathing the babies myself which is hard (not so much the bathing part, but having to hear the baby that is waiting/done screaming in the background). Anyway, so today he had to play and I had to give the boys a bath (since poor Alex probably still had throw up somewhere in his body. Usually DH gets home around 6:15pm or so when he plays tennis. Today? 6:50pm. By that point I had them bathed and fed..and they were essentially ready for bed.

To joke around, I spiked up their mowhacks (lol) since I know DH doesn''t like the "punk" look...he likes the clean cut look. So when he sees them he says "wow, what''s this...look at you guys!". I said "well, this hair matches their personalities better...since they have been screaming for like an hour!" (at this point we''re both sort of joking). ANyway, he starts going on a rant about whether I''m going to let my kids dress like punks because that''s what matches their personalities. I said "well, if they like that stuff, so be it!". He was upset..like "my kids are not going to be dressing all goth or punk or whatever...are you serious?", etc, etc, etc. It was the stupidest conversation EVER and I just wasn''t having it after I had been dealing with screaming babies by myself for the last hour!. I basically got up and said I wasn''t having that conversation!!! Ugghhh...just so annoying.

Now that I typed it up it sounds even more stupid and I guess you had to be there to understand the tone of the convo..lol, oh well, point is I''m annoyed!

 

[taovandel]

Mandarine: Doesn''t sound stupid at all and I completely get what you are saying....My husband and I got into a little fight yesterday over whether or not we will let Evan drink soda....haha. So stupid but still a valid fight....same with you and your husband.

 

[gingerB]

gah...this thread is moving too fast for me to keep up! i am reading though and am trying to soak up all this sleep info.

viz, i think we got a teensy taste of what you go through every night. A was up pretty much every hour last night and we don''t know why. this was the first time he''s done this. usually he''s a 2-3 hour kinda guy but last night was torture mom and dad night. all i have to say is if you do this every night, i am adding you to the supermom list.

so A is slowly tryig to drive us bonkers. we have been doing the EASY method without realizing that we were doing it (although the Y part is laughable) and incorporating the 1-2 hr wakefulness and 2-3 hour feeding timeline, so no hard set times but going with the flow from the last "activity". at night it''s ESES. it was going along ok until this past week when he''s suddenly flipped on us, with some days of refusing to nap no matter how long we try to soothe him and other days of sleeping all day, and now this waking up frequently at night. he''s always been a loud fidgety sleeper (also a strong moro reflex requiring a tight swaddle) but last night he would be asleep and suddenly start crying and arching and fighting insanely to get out of his swaddle where he had seemed to be more accepting of it before (not loving, still fighting, but not to this degree). this morning all 3 of us were exhausted. after we fed him at 7am, i just held him to sleep hoping he''d get a little rest and he was just sleeping and whimpering, poor baby

. i felt like he was sooooo tired but just could not figure out what to do. and today he''s been super clingy, refusing to sleep unless he is physically draped on one of us. not even lying down cuddled next to him kept him asleep. is this par for the course? he doesn''t seem to be sick or have a temp to explain the change. is it worsening reflux? is it colic peaking? he''s usually a pleasant fella, occasionally fussy so prob falling on avg temperament wise. he''s 5 weeks now (but keep in mind he was born about a week post term).

along these terms, when is it "safe" to teach a baby to self soothe? any tips or techniques? right now we do the swaddle, paci, rock to sleep and when he wakes himself up, he needs us to help him go back down.

in better news, A is starting to interact with us and it''s so freakin'' cute! he really looks at us intently and seems to be trying to copy our facial expressions. he''s also becoming quite the chatterbox...just cooing and jabbering away, conversing with DH and i. i''m usually the strict one, but today he totally got me. DH had begun trying to soothe him for a nap and i told him i''d do it to give him a break. A was already swaddled and had the paci in. so i get him settled in my arms and sat down and looked at him. he looks up and sees that it''s me now, grins at me around his paci and starts jabbering away. i felt like he knew it was me because he''s alot quieter with DH (who although is great with kids, hasn''t got the newborn conversational skills that i seem to have

), where as A and i have had quite a few long conversations

. so he totally got me because then i was convinced he wasn''t ready for nap time and unswaddled him to play for another 20 minutes before we put him down for a nap. the flirt

mara - i am sooooo with you on the boob thing -- the pulling, the shower, the oversensitivity, all of it

. my IBTs will never be the same again and i hate that sometimes i''m so sore i can''t even hold A as much as i want to

. oh and DHs g-ma gave us a walker, although i''m hesitant to use it with all the bad press. although ditto on all of us being in it and surviving ok. i think with really close suervision in the right envirn it should be ok.

november - at the beginning when we had to supplement with formula befre my milk came in, we would give as much BM as i had first, then top off with formula after -- for the reason fiery stated. formula has tobe thrown away 1 hr after it touches the baby''s lips and we didn''t want to waste a single drop of the "liquid gold"

cdt - aww big hugs to you and lex. i had/have asthma too. much worse as a child and slowly grew out of it (mostly) and it was rough on my parents and myself. sorry you two are going through this

 

[Pandora II]

Mara - I''m pretty sure that the walkers are illegal in the UK as they''ve been responsible for so many child deaths. They''re also bad for their leg muscle development.

Daisy was trying to stand from the day she was born - at 6/7 weeks she could push herself up to standing in the Tummy Tub (gave me a heart attack). She started to pull up on furniture when she was nearly 6 months and was cruising pretty soon afterwards. At 10 months, she can stand for 20 seconds or so without holding on to anything and will walk holding onto my hands, but has yet to take her first steps.

Viz - I''m so sorry. I don''t really have any advice, but I do feel for you. It might be worth your co-sleeping with C on your own. If Daisy wasn''t in with us I''d be in the same situation as you I''m sure.


Was wondering... is the ability to sleep not similar to the ability to walk or crawl or sit-up? I mean, I never put D on her tummy in the hope that she wouldn''t crawl early and because she screamed blue murder if I did. Despite this, she has been an early mover. Plenty of other mothers do tummy time religiously and their babies take their own sweet time...

My BIL STTN at 4 months, my DH not until he was TWO AND A HALF YEARS!

I''ve seen MIL''s diaries so I know she''s not mis-remembering. I didn''t STTN till 14 months and yet my next youngest sister was STTN at 3 months. We were all equally different regarding language and motor skills - DH and I were very early for both and BIL and my sister were both a lot later than the average.

Perhaps the ability to STTN is a similar ''skill''. I don''t see Daisy as manipulative or controlling. If she wakes in the evening it''s because she has a tummy ache, or is hungry or wants a cuddle. She''s never wanted to play. As soon as I go in, she''s often sitting or standing up waiting for me, she snuggles right back down with her eyes shut - I lie down with her, rub her tummy or feed her and 10 minutes later I sneak back out again. Yes it''s a PITA, but I''ve learnt to see it as a chance
to cuddle with my baby that I won''t have forever and that way I don''t get as fed-up as I would if I saw it as a major inconvenience.

You have a very difficult situation Viz in that you are also going to work. I also think that the 5 month mark is particularly trying and exhausting. It was when my mental health team got worried that I was developing PPD and whacked my meds up. The hormones from the early days are wearing off and yet you still have a small person who is uber-dependant on you and the exhaustion and feelings of relentlessness can really take their toll.

Cdt - Sorry about Lex. My husband has major allergies so I know how hard they can be in an adult - fortunately D seems to have escaped them, but I can''t imagine how difficult it must be for a baby.

Do you have carpets in your house? DH got way better when we got rid of them all and had hard-wood instead.


Daisy is sporting a big bruise on her forehead today...

She wanted to get something that was out of reach so she pulled my bag with all my evening course things in over to the sofa, then put her suitcase on the top and used them like stairs. Worked great... right up until she tried to get back down. Result: wails of misery and woe and a big bruise.

The suitcase came from my mega-bargain at TKMax yesterday - I found a Steiff ''Viking'' Bear in the ultra-reduced section that came with it''s own little suitcase for a whole £5. She went nuts over it in the store and has played with it all day and last night. I left her with my SIL while I went to my evening class, so it (and a bar of white chocolate

) were the bribes I left in the hope that she wouldn''t scream for hours and hours like usual (hard to scream with a mouthful of Green & Blacks White chocolate

).

 

[Mara]

re: early standing... thanks ladies for giving me some hope. i know crawling is still mobile but walking is a whole diff ball of wax! today i went for lunch with some coworkers and they were all saying that J is like some ''super'' newborn and that if you looked at him you''d think he was older like 3-4 months with how crazy active and alert he is! i was like JEEZ tell me about it. this kid''s brain is bigger than his body. keeping him ''down'' is hard haha.

so he was an angel during the lunch, quiet alert for most of it and then the last 1/2 i held him and passed him around etc. he fussed just a tiny bit here and there but was amazing. everyone is saying how great he is (uh huh, selectively great). so of course i get him in the car and he sleeps, i get him home and put him in his crib. he''s awake 5 min later and that was the beginning of the end. i feed him 3.5oz and he is screaming like a banshee when done. i can''t figure out if he has gas or is just totally overtired, so i swaddle him and put him down in crib with sheep. he''s not having any of it...we played reswaddle and soothe for about an hour, and then CIO for another 30 min. he finally settled down, but just would not pass out! when i come in to see him, he''s all smiley and talky (ginger you getting suckered in made me laugh since he was trying that on me today too!)... i try one more time to put him down, nope. so i bring him out and feed him the rest of his bottle and then give him boob. he is passing out on the boob within 5 min. so i pull him off and put him on his boppy and he''s quiet alert for another 15min zoning out, THEN passes out. he''s apparently so tired he doesn''t even have the morrow reflex now since he is unswaddled and hasn''t moved a limb. i think he skipped light sleep and went immediately into comatose sleep. poor kid...!!! i doubt the nap will last long but at least it''s something.

and for whatever reason *I* am really tired today but not sure why. i had to stop taking my iron since it was making me so constipated and i def think i am feeling it now since it''s been a few days without it.

viz... i asked this before but you didn''t answer...have you thought about getting a sleep consultant in to help you guys? i don''t know if you have them where you are but we do here and i had never heard of that before but apparently they help parents with their kids... if you really feel like you have exhausted it all, i would seek professional help, why not? on the flip side if you feel like you''ve done it all and it''s really just C...then wait til you feel like it''s time to try again or try something diferent. and i hear you re: venting...i think it''s in people''s nature to want to help even if help is not ''requested''. maybe if you just want to vent say VENT ONLY vs ''put in your five cents''... hehee.

cdt... i can''t imagine how hard it is to hear L struggling for breath...your poor little man. hang in there.

ginger... i also feel like my boobs will never be the same. so sad right...my biggest Q is ''so when after you stop bf''ing do the boobs deflate?''...i am hoping it''s like within a week or two. i want my B''s back!!!! this DD stuff is for the birds.

re the bumbo, a friend is lending us one, at what age can i put J in it?

november..i forgot to say we are giving J similac sensitive because of his reflux and gas but originally he was on similac advance and he seems fine on both. also i have heard similac gives yucky poo but we have not had an issue prob because it''s just a supplement so he is getting mostly BM and just a bit of formula so his poos are pretty much the same. i do notice though that enfamil seems to have way more coupons than similac out there!

re: co sleeping, i think it might be harder to START it when the kids are older.. obviously i don''t know for sure but whenever i try laying down with J i feel like he might be confused as to why i''m there and my presence might not ''soothe'' him but rather stimulate him. recently also when i am putting him down he totally tries to lock onto my eyes with his -- just FYI for any parents putting their kids down, i read something that said don''t look them in the eyes because it''s stimulating not soothing...i have a hard time not doing it though because he''s looking right at me haha.

umm and random note but our house is small and ranch style and our yards in CA are not that big. well it''s been warm here and we have windows and doors open and i feel like the neighbors must think we''re murdering J in here sometimes when he''s got his scream on. it totally echoes in our small house (and wood floors), so i am sure this summer will be all sorts of fun. boo. time to get AC.

 

[natalina]

Date: 3/23/2010 10:31:23 AM
Author: vizsla
gah, i have such a hard time actually explaining what i mean

i''m going to try again....

the number one plan of attack, when something (in this case sleeping) isn''t going well, is to blame the parent for not being consistent. Totally understandable - that is our job - to be consistent and teach our children.

So, what if they are consistent? the next plan of attack is to blame the parent because they ''hold the baby too much, they don’t put them down soon enough, they rush in to comfort, they don’t let the baby cry long enough, they don’t feed them enough during the day, they feed them too much during the day, they don’t stimulate enough, they swaddle, they don’t swaddle, they use a paci, they don’t use a paci'' – the list goes on and on.

Could it, in fact, be a developmental ability of the child? There are parents who do things ''by the book'' and don''t have success - but are made to feel like they are doing something ''wrong'' because their baby doesn''t show any improvement. Hence, the 400 ‘get your baby to sleep books’ – frustrated and desperate parents will try lots of things.

Babies are on a curve, and unfortunately, i think i have one on the extreme end when it comes to sleeping. Understandably, it’s probably very hard for parents who do have ‘easier’ children (note: I didn’t say ‘easy’ because I’m way too jealous of those people to include them

) to understand how difficult ‘spirited’ children can be. They take their successful experience and say that if we just do XYZ, our babies will adhere to the new rules. This may be the case for 80% of babies, but not all.

i guess I just want to make the argument that there are babies on all points of the ‘baby curve’ and to say emphatically that ''your baby will do this if YOU do this'' could be in error. just as some of the other theories have not panned out for charlie, i don''t have faith that CIO is the ''magic trick'' either – nor do I feel that it is appropriate for his temperment.

i''m not saying that i don''t value and appreciate all of your ideas.. lord knows I do!! which is why I keep coming back to this forum and spilling my frustrations and pitfalls and joyous moments. i''m willing do try just about anything. I know I’m suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t see that this is just a blip in my life. The fact that I work 11 to 12 hours a day and then am up with C the other 12 hours of the day doesn’t help either… but maybe it helps to understand where I am coming from.

OK- so I have not been on for a few days and just started reading to try to catch up and HAD to quote this!!! It is EXACTLY how I feel with the sleeping issues Ellie has been having. EXACTLY. I have read and followed SO MANY of the books and am just SO tired of everything I try not working and being told all of the things highlighted above by so many people (mainly IRL). It has really gotten in my head and made me question myself. But all I know is I am trying SO hard and want to help her sleep more than anything. And not just so I can sleep. So she can get some good sleep. I haven''t read past this post yet, so forgive me for not acknowledging anything else right now.

And Viz- how you do it working 11-12 hours a day, wow...big hugs**********

And now I''m off to catch up on the rest of the thread here.

 

[puffy]

mara i just had to laugh at your neighbor comment. we live in a SUPER quiet neighborhood where not many cars come by or people. anyways, friends came over the other day and B was throwing one of his major fits. they said it sounded like i was strangling him. it didn''t help he was screaming, "no more mommy please, help me." our poor neighbors. and he was screaming no more in reference to him not wanting to be ''bad'' and help was him telling me that he was ready for me to pick him up. and none of the people who live around us have young kids, i think a family may have a pre-teen but that''s it. i feel bad for all our neighbors. but they all seem to love B.

RE the bumbo...we started with both kids super young. noah has been in it for ages now, but when i first put him in it, i had something to support his back so he wouldn''t fall back. he''s been without the back support for awhile now. but every time he is in there for more than 10 minutes he is passed out.

ginger by self soothe, you mean CIO? not an expert by any means, but i assume that 5 weeks is young to teach them to self soothe.

 

[fieryred33143]

Random responses to everyone in order of what I remember lol

Mandy-we had a lot of silly arguments like that too. The other day it was whether skirts are appropriate for little girls. So dumb.

Pandora-i love Daisy. I think she's pure genius. Sorry about the bruise. I think you made a lot of great points in your post.

Mara-MIL wanted a walker, I told her no. Her home is safe enough for Sophia to crawl/walk around but not walker safe. They have an OLD house and the floor is kind of weird. I get scared thinking about Sophia in a walker in her house. But we used one growing up too and apparently loved it. Re:bumbo, they can be in it when they hold up their heads well. We used it starting around 4 months bc Sophia wasn't holding her head well

Ginger-you can do research on self-soothing and infants. There is literature out there that talks about the "appropriate" age of when babies can actually self-soothe based on an average of course. There are popular methods out there, CIO being one of them. Ferber which is probably the most popular Dr that coined the term CIO doesn't recommend prior to 4 months (and there has been rumors that its changing to 6months) due to emotional development. But your baby and you know best. I think self soothing is an evolving skill. I had personally decided that if Sophia wasn't STTN by 9 months we would CIO. But I noticed a change in Sophia around 5 months where I could tell she was well aware of who was around her. If FI was talking in the kitchen for example and we were in the bedroom, she would turn her head to the door because she knew he was outside of the room. Prior to that shed search for the voice but didn't quite get where it was coming from. I thin CIO can work for younger babies but I don't think they actually learn to fully self soothe because they don't get their surroundings just yet.

 

[natalina]

CDT- how is Lex doing? Poor little guy...

Mandarine- DH and I have stupid fights like that all the time. Like the other day he was going on about how she WILL NOT be allowed to date goth or punk guys. And not that I would want her to, but umm, we have PLENTY of time before we have to worry about that!

Mara- we just got the Baby Einstein entertainer thingy that has been posted here before- like a walker without wheels- and Ellie loves it. As for a real walker, I didn''t even realize they still sell them because they are supposedly so dangerous....

And back to the sleep issues: 2 nights of CIO resulted in HOURS of crying and very little sleep. She will not be soothed when we go in, she just gets even more mad. The only way I can get her to sleep is if she is in bed with me. The past few nights I have been sleeping (ha!) on the floor in her room or in the hall outside her room in order to be able to soothe her quickly to see if that would help. No dice. And our floors are hardwood, so I''m done with that. Similar to Viz''s situation, DH does not want to cosleep, but I really think we may be heading in that direction for a month or so. I guess I feel like it''s time to adopt Fiery''s stance that she will STTN when she STTN. And I don''t want to think of it as giving up, but more accepting her as she is right now and not trying to force her to grow up faster than she''s ready to. I just hope that we don''t end up with a 5yo sleeping with us (as DH is sure will happen)!

BF question (RPS are you out there

): Ellie is killing me with this new thing she does. She sucks really hard while pulling her head back and using her hands to push against my boob! It''s like she is trying to stretch my nipple as far as she possibly can! OH MAN it hurts!!!!! And it hurts for a while after she''s done. Obviously I try not to let her do this, but little punkin is strong! Anyone know WHY she would be doing this and WHAT I can do to get her to stop? She does it more on the right than left. I thought maybe she isn''t getting as much milk, so I started feeding her every 2 hours to up my supply (it''s been about 5 days of that) but it doesn''t seem to be helping. Just when I thought BF''ing woes were behind us and it was smooth sailing ahead...

 

[gingerB]

re: self soothing - oh, i didn''t realize that was the same thing as CIO. i def know A is way to young for me to feel confortable with CIO. i just thought there may be some other secret method that i didn''t know about

so A has been inconsolable tonight. we started bedtime a little earlier since he got so little sleep last night and did not nap well today, knowing he is overtired. well he;s not having it and has been on and off screaming, whimepring and crying in between snatches of 15 minutes or so of sleep at a time. everytime he is almost asleep, he spits out his paci (as is his usual and has never been a problem) and is calm for a few minutes, then he starts this crazy squirm with his eyes closed and apparently asleep and wakes himslef up. this is with a swaddle and being held tightly in our arms. it almost seems like his nervous system is on overload and he can NOT turn it off. he is exhausted i can see it and we''re trying so hard to get him to sleep. as of right now, anything goes. i let him have his next feeding a little early and tried an extra ounce to see if it would knock him out. calmed him a bit, but he was still fidgety, then he seemed to chill out and relax for 5 minutes. then he started talking again

. nuh uh buddy, you''re not getting me again. so now we''ve re-swaddled and he''s passed out on hubbs lap. with us holding him he''s getting about 30 min, in the bassinet, 15 tops. this is such a change as before he could do an 45 min-1.5hrs in the bassinet for naps, 3-4 for night sleep and with us holding him, 2-3 hrs nap, unsure for ngiht sleep. i know we can''t hold him to sleep forever, but part of me wants to do it just long enough for him to catch up on some of that lost sleep. then when he''s less tired, go back to the bassinet/rocker as he has been. we just keep doing the same thing over and over again (feed, burp, swaddle, rock, paci, check diaper, swaddle, rock, paci until the next feeding) and hopefully at somepoint he''ll just let go and pass out. lord knows we''re ready to.

we''re still trying to keep with the routine but it''s so discouraging at this point.

 

[Mara]

hang in there ginger... i think dreamer said it best the other day and i''m sure i can''t say it as well but it''s basically that while our babies might be a little young to be ''solid'' with anything yet but if you have your ''foundation'' down with the baby that when they are ready to solidify their rythyms for sleeping, eating, etc that if you already have a routine going that it will be easy for them to pick it up permanently. i hope so anyway.

re: self soothing, i don''t tend to think it''s just CIO. J is starting to learn to self-soothe himself which to me means ''be by himself not crying yet awake''... he does it sometimes in the mornings and he did it today during my lunch, he just sat there in his car seat under his A&A blanket and was sucking on his hand listening to the sheep but his eyes were open. he does it sometimes in his crib when he is alert and babbling to himself. he also won''t take the paci, and i guess some say self-soothing can use the paci but i''d prefer his hand actually so i am glad he is finding it more.

re: the walkers... yeah i know that they are supposedly ''bad'' now...i was 16 when my youngest sister had hers and she LOVED it. also you just have to be careful with it aka read common-sense. what i read was a lot of injuries happen by kids falling down stairs (we have none) and/or pulling down electrical appliances, cords, hot things, etc. so i imagine if you baby proof the house before letting the kid roam free OR just designate an area that is ''baby safe'' where they can zoom around it is fine. also i read it can hinder the walking by just a few WEEKS so that is fine with me if the kid is happy for months before that! i looked at the jumperoo stuff and honestly i''d rather get him a walker and a jumpy thing separately like what we had, i don''t know that J will stay entertained with one thing for months unless he''s mobile. now just to FIND one, who even sells them?!?!

puffy, lol re: B screaming. our backyard is long and kind of skinny so there''s not THAT much space from our sliding doors to the next yard and we don''t know the neighbor behind us so i am sure he thinks ''what the heck is happening over there''. our neighbors have twin 1 year olds so i am not worried about her, she knows how it is hahaa. and the other neighbor is hardly home. but the one behind us, poor guy!

nat... it''s interesting that E will only sleep when she is on you and not even when you try to soothe her it just makes her more upset. personally i don''t know that i''d move to cosleeping from that since it sounds like she already is showing a preference for being with you guys (more social time maybe?), it may be hard to break it later, BUTTT i agree you gotta sleep soo...anyway i hope it works for you guys.

 

[TravelingGal]

Mandy, I know you didn''t mean that story to be funny, but it did make me laugh a bit. Especially since I know what it''s like to get riled up over an inane conversation. Hope things have calmed down. And I actually thought of all the PS BOB moms today because I used mine for the first time in months (since late last summer) to take Amelia power walking up a giant hill. The BOB is so easy to push, but boy, it''s still pushing 45 pounds (26 baby, 19 BOB) and it was a workout! I still highly, highly recommend BOB!

Re: Self Soothing - I don''t consider it the same thing as CIO? But CIO is a tool to teach the baby how to self soothe himself.

Mara, I am not a fan of walkers, but if you like them, go for it. They say it hinders walking, but I didn''t use one for Amelia and she was a late walker. The screamer child used one all the time, and he was a very early walker (11 months). I''m sure statistically there''s some data that supports what they (whoever "they" is) say, but if you feel the benefits outweigh the risks, that''s one of the calls you make as a mom. Pandora is right in that they are actually illegal in other countries. I think Canada is one of them?

Pandora, that is an interesting point. I do think it''s a skill or ability that needs to be learned, and some are ready before others. At some point, all of it does happen, whether it be crawling, walking, sitting up or whatever. But I think sometimes it is POSSIBLE to hinder that skill from developing on course. If I held my daughter 24/7, carried her everywhere and gave her everything she needed so she wouldn''t have get it herself, I''m fairly convinced her mobility and walking would be delayed. There is a wide range for what is "normal" for all of these skills. If the skill doesn''t happen within the normal range, it can be cause for concern. There are always exceptions, of course. There are kids who walk at 2 years old and are developmentally fine. But at a certain point, a parent should check things out, just to make sure there isn''t something hindering the child, and perhaps there are ways to help move things along, should the parent actually see it as an issue.

Amelia didn''t walk until she was nearly 16 months. Personally, I didn''t care. I definitely wanted her to be walking by 18 months, as this is the usual cutoff here for what is considered normal before they start bringing in the men in white coats, but until then, it didn''t worry me. However other things were developing and she didn''t have the motor skills to accompany them, so that was actually becoming an issue. For example, she really started wanting to go see other kids and LOVED the playground. Try taking a crawler to the playground...it''s a bit of a problem! I had to create my own special kneepads out of tube socks but still her knees and hands got scuffed pretty good. She was no longer content to just SIT at the park and watch...she really really REALLY was insistent hanging out with the other kids. So off to physical therapy we went to help her along.

Mental and physical milestones have timeline guidelines for a reason - as children become more active, they need plenty of rest. If they don''t know how to properly get that rest, you have an unhappy toddler on your hands. There is a general path for the healthy development of a child, methinks.

IMHO Viz is not at a stage where she really needs to be concerned about the development of her child. I think plenty of kids do not STTN (5-6 hr definition, not 12) at that stage. As Sabine said, a child''s sleep habits (especially during the first year) is only an issue if the parent has an issue with it. Mindset is a lot of it. Pandora, I know you and a few others see co-sleeping as a wonderful opportunity to enjoy your little ones and the benefits outweigh any inconvenience. That''s the way it should be, and that''s wonderful, and I definitely see cuddling as a HUGE plus (I love what I get from Amelia, which isn''t a ton since she isn''t overly cuddly). I see having a strict routine as being more beneficial than inconvenient (and it is certainly that in the early days). Different strokes for different folks.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/23/2010 10:56:18 PM
Author: Mara

re: the walkers... yeah i know that they are supposedly 'bad' now...i was 16 when my youngest sister had hers and she LOVED it. also you just have to be careful with it aka read common-sense. what i read was a lot of injuries happen by kids falling down stairs (we have none) and/or pulling down electrical appliances, cords, hot things, etc. so i imagine if you baby proof the house before letting the kid roam free OR just designate an area that is 'baby safe' where they can zoom around it is fine. also i read it can hinder the walking by just a few WEEKS so that is fine with me if the kid is happy for months before that! i looked at the jumperoo stuff and honestly i'd rather get him a walker and a jumpy thing separately like what we had, i don't know that J will stay entertained with one thing for months unless he's mobile. now just to FIND one, who even sells them?!?!

Um, not surprisingly....Walmart.

It's where the screamer kid's mom got his.

http://www.walmart.com/search/search-ng.do?search_constraint=0&ic=48_0&search_query=walker

ETA Mara, it's not only the household dangers...some of them have been known to collapse/break with the kid in it, causing an ugly tumble.

ETA 2, it's the scissor style ones which apparently collapse, so those are the ones to probably avoid.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/23/2010 10:03:17 PM
Author: natalina
CDT- how is Lex doing? Poor little guy...

Mandarine- DH and I have stupid fights like that all the time. Like the other day he was going on about how she WILL NOT be allowed to date goth or punk guys. And not that I would want her to, but umm, we have PLENTY of time before we have to worry about that!

Mara- we just got the Baby Einstein entertainer thingy that has been posted here before- like a walker without wheels- and Ellie loves it. As for a real walker, I didn''t even realize they still sell them because they are supposedly so dangerous....

And back to the sleep issues: 2 nights of CIO resulted in HOURS of crying and very little sleep. She will not be soothed when we go in, she just gets even more mad. The only way I can get her to sleep is if she is in bed with me. The past few nights I have been sleeping (ha!) on the floor in her room or in the hall outside her room in order to be able to soothe her quickly to see if that would help. No dice. And our floors are hardwood, so I''m done with that. Similar to Viz''s situation, DH does not want to cosleep, but I really think we may be heading in that direction for a month or so. I guess I feel like it''s time to adopt Fiery''s stance that she will STTN when she STTN. And I don''t want to think of it as giving up, but more accepting her as she is right now and not trying to force her to grow up faster than she''s ready to. I just hope that we don''t end up with a 5yo sleeping with us (as DH is sure will happen)!

BF question (RPS are you out there

): Ellie is killing me with this new thing she does. She sucks really hard while pulling her head back and using her hands to push against my boob! It''s like she is trying to stretch my nipple as far as she possibly can! OH MAN it hurts!!!!! And it hurts for a while after she''s done. Obviously I try not to let her do this, but little punkin is strong! Anyone know WHY she would be doing this and WHAT I can do to get her to stop? She does it more on the right than left. I thought maybe she isn''t getting as much milk, so I started feeding her every 2 hours to up my supply (it''s been about 5 days of that) but it doesn''t seem to be helping. Just when I thought BF''ing woes were behind us and it was smooth sailing ahead...

Nat - There''s a great book called ''Three In A Bed'' that is all about co-sleeping and I found really interesting and helpful. It (and Dr Sear''s books) have lots of information and advice on persuading your child that it''s time to move - if they haven''t already done so themselves, which is more common.

My DH was a little worried about co-sleeping at first, but is now really happy with it - he loves being woken up in the morning by a happy grinning face (Daisy is a fan of lie-ins, so it''s not dawn awakenings). We have a pillow down the bed next to him just in case he was to turn over suddenly in the night and to stop Daisy thinking he might be a milk-bar as well! On my side I have a barrier of the sort you give toddlers that folds up and down. Daisy likes to sleep outside the duvet, and DH and I sleep inside. He''s like me and absolutely will not do CIO under any circumstances.

I really enjoy co-sleeping and get a lot more sleep than I would otherwise - the first few nights it''s a bit odd (like the first nights you ever spend in a bed with a boyfriend - seems weird to have another person there) but then you get relaxed and it''s easy. It was also how I realised how ill Daisy was the other week. I woke up because she felt so hot - I subconciously monitor her breathing and temperature all night apparently - and grabbed the thermometer. It was 102 under her arm, so was at least a degree higher. I got Calpol into her straight away and a luke-warm flannel to get the fever down as fast as possible. She hadn''t even woken up, so I worry how ill she might have been if she''d been in a cot in another room and I didn''t realise till the morning.

I agree with Fiery that they STTN when they are ready to. We went from waking every 2 hours or so to now waking once or twice in a whole night (and ''waking'' is just rolling towards me and rooting for a boob, not actual crying or even opened eyes).

On the stretching the boob thing - it''s one of the lovely phases they go through. Other delights are the nursing while standing up, nursing while walking round in a circle, nursing upside down, nursing while tweaking the other nipple, nursing while pinching the skin on your boob, turning her head to watch things while nursing and the current favourite - done mainly in public - is to suck for 10 seconds, then pop off, examine the nipple very carefully, pull it a bit and then go back to feeding, rinse and repeat...

There''s not a lot you can do I''m afraid. I tried to stop things like the pinching as I was covered in little cuts and bruises, but it just made it worse and her angry. In the end I just gritted my teeth and eventually she got bored and moved onto nipple tweaking which was at least less painful.

Biting is one you can stop - push their face into the breast rather than pulling them off. They get very confused and they can''t bite and breath at the same time, so they soon stop doing it.

 

[kennedy]

Date: 3/23/2010 10:31:23 AM
Author: vizsla
gah, i have such a hard time actually explaining what i mean

i''m going to try again....


the number one plan of attack, when something (in this case sleeping) isn''t going well, is to blame the parent for not being consistent. Totally understandable - that is our job - to be consistent and teach our children.


So, what if they are consistent? the next plan of attack is to blame the parent because they ''hold the baby too much, they don’t put them down soon enough, they rush in to comfort, they don’t let the baby cry long enough, they don’t feed them enough during the day, they feed them too much during the day, they don’t stimulate enough, they swaddle, they don’t swaddle, they use a paci, they don’t use a paci'' – the list goes on and on.



Could it, in fact, be a developmental ability of the child? There are parents who do things ''by the book'' and don''t have success - but are made to feel like they are doing something ''wrong'' because their baby doesn''t show any improvement. Hence, the 400 ‘get your baby to sleep books’ – frustrated and desperate parents will try lots of things.


Babies are on a curve, and unfortunately, i think i have one on the extreme end when it comes to sleeping. Understandably, it’s probably very hard for parents who do have ‘easier’ children (note: I didn’t say ‘easy’ because I’m way too jealous of those people to include them

) to understand how difficult ‘spirited’ children can be. They take their successful experience and say that if we just do XYZ, our babies will adhere to the new rules. This may be the case for 80% of babies, but not all.


i guess I just want to make the argument that there are babies on all points of the ‘baby curve’ and to say emphatically that ''your baby will do this if YOU do this'' could be in error. just as some of the other theories have not panned out for charlie, i don''t have faith that CIO is the ''magic trick'' either – nor do I feel that it is appropriate for his temperment.


i''m not saying that i don''t value and appreciate all of your ideas.. lord knows I do!! which is why I keep coming back to this forum and spilling my frustrations and pitfalls and joyous moments. i''m willing do try just about anything. I know I’m suffering from sleep deprivation and can’t see that this is just a blip in my life. The fact that I work 11 to 12 hours a day and then am up with C the other 12 hours of the day doesn’t help either… but maybe it helps to understand where I am coming from.


The bottom line is that I’ve learned – thru charlie – to be soooo less judgy about people and their parenting. For example, I used to comment on my sister and how she bribes her kids to do everything… saying I would never ever ever do that.


Right now, I’d promise charlie a BMW for 8 hours of sleep


I still don’t agree with bribery… but I UNDERSTAND where she may be coming from KWIM?


Does that better explain me? And I’m not looking for a magical solution to my problem.. I’ve said before that I’m completely OK with charlie and his temperament and have learned to love it ;P


buuuuuuuuuut I DO think that, as of late, it’s gotten worse and extremely hard to handle.


I would be completely tickled if he JUST woke up to 2 or 3 times a night, but it’s every sleep cycle. Could it be that he really can’t let his body fall into that restorative sleep?


He goes down really easily (it’s under 10 mins at bedtime). But as soon as that 40 to 1hr sleep cycle is up, so is he.


________

CDT - from my experience in dealing with DH and a chronic illness - sometimes the best thing to do is take all pieces of the puzzle to another set of eyes. maybe there a little minor piece of the puzzle being overlooked? in any case i think you are doing an amazing job of working and caring after your little boy - i can''t imagine how difficult and frustrating this time has to be for you. i hope you are able to find something that will alleviate little lex''s illness quickly. ((hugs))

I agree with everything you wrote here!! As the mother of a sweet, smart little girl who didn''t STTN until 2, I absolutely believe that STTN is a developmental milestone just like walking and talking. My daughter was a VERY early talker and a VERY late sleeper. We spent a ridiculous amount of money on so-called sleep experts and I regret every penny. I know why we did it (exhaustion and desperation), but in hindsight it was an incredible waste and unnecessarily stressful for all of us. We were trying to force our child to do something she simply wasn''t ready for and, given her intense temperament, she wouldn''t have any of it. She knew what she needed and fought for it. For children like this, I honestly think co-sleeping is a wonderful option -- it truly saved my sanity. I know people have pretty strong feelings about co-sleeping, so I don''t know if it feels right for you, but it might get you a bit more sleep at night. I''m not saying it will prevent C from waking up, but it might minimize the number of times he does so and it will certainly spare you from having to get out of bed every time he does. Feel free to ask any questions if you think I can be helpful in some way. I wish you lots of luck. You WILL survive -- I promise!

 

[fieryred33143]

Mara-bumbo when they have good head/neck control. I think we started using one at 4 months.

Hi natalina! Sorry can''t help with the bfing question.

*****

Last night I went into Sophia''s room before bed to steal a hug since I didn''t get to see her before she went to sleep and noticed she was wet. I managed to change her diaper and pjs, pass her off to FI while I changed the sheets, and then put her back down without her waking up. High Five!

For some weird reason, she woke up at 5:15am and started talking to herself. She wasn''t crying so I didn''t bother to go in. I just listened until I didn''t hear her anymore. It took maybe 15 minutes for her to fall back to sleep. I think the dark room has a lot to do with it. Had there been sunlight, she probably would not have gone back to sleep.

Question about baby proofing: FI told me that she''s getting much better at figuring out how to move which means we need to baby proof ASAP. We''re going to IKEA to pick up a new entertainment unit. Do you think it''s better to mount the TV to the wall and get something small for the ground to store the DVD player, PS3, and DVDs? Or does that even matter?

Are you restricting any rooms from LO? I''m thinking about putting gates to block the kitchen and dining area.

 

[Mandarine]

hahaha TGal I realized that it would sound funny...because after I was done writing it it just sounded stupid and funny! lol

It's like Natalina was saying...DHs want to start an argument about what the kids will be doing when they are teenagers and not that I agree or not with what he was saying, but I have MUCH shorter goals in mind...such as "get these babies to bed!!!!".

So in honor of my story, here are the mowhacks that started it all...lol. I mean, seriously...don't they look like the mowhacks go much better with their attitude?. DH likes to comb them with the parted hair...and that would be good if they were quiet easy going babies

I think even their poses scream "I'm a mowhack kind of babe!"

 

[cdt1101]

Mandy - Personally I LOVE a mohawk on a baby...the pics are super cute! I try keeping the mohawk on Lex, but his baby hair won't stay like that unless it's wet...I guess your DH will not let our boys play together

Pandora - We only have carpet in his room

The rest of our condo is tile throughout, but that room was the only room the previous owners decided not to tile. We replaced the carpet right before Lex was born. We also have a dog, who sheds like crazy

I really don't think the dog is helping Lex, but w/out knowing for sure my DH isn't willing to re-home him (although we're lucky in that DH's mom would take our dog if it came down to that).

Lex is still running a low grade fever, but when he woke up this morning I noticed one of his 2 front teeth poking thru, so I'm wondering if that's causing the fever...not sure. He's still super congested, but already better since stopping all of the medication. Can't wait to see his little tooth though, so cute

Hello to everyone else and thanks everyone for chiming in about Lex, I really needed to vent yesterday and feel so much better today because of it...you ladies rock

 

[natalina]

CDT- Yay for Lex''s first tooth! I really hope that''s what was making him under the weather. We have to see a pic once it full pops up!

Mandarine- love the pics. I think they look adorable in little mohawks (''course they look adorable without them too...). Which baby is on the right in the pics? Is he more of an extrovert than the other? The baby on the left looks observant and cautious, and the baby on the right looks like he wants to party

. I''m sure it could just be the moods they were in as you took the pic, just curious.

Pandora- thanks for the info on cosleeping. I was wondering about the logstics. I do need to get a rail for my side of the bed. I think I will go check out that book today. DH is travelling right now, so I moved Ellie into bed with me last night the first time she started crying after I went to bed, and it went really well but we took up the whole King size bed because I was afraid of putting her too close to the side! Dh definitely won''t be happy if I tell him there''s no longer any room for him

! Ellie did wake up to eat twice, but other than that she slept like a little angel! Yay!! And I have to admit, part of me love''s having her in bed with me

.
(Thanks, too for the feedback on Ellie''s new nursing habits. Guess I just have to deal with it. Fun. She has also started grabbing a fistfull of skin and squeeeeezing- OUCH!! And the pop off, look around--- this new awareness of the world around her comes with a price I guess!)

So the plan for now is to follow our routine before bed and put her down in her crib every night at 8pm. Then we will follow the guidelines to help her sleep on her own until it''s time for us to go to bed, and for a short time after. Whenever it gets to be too much (I''m betting on about 1am each night), I will move her in with us. Hopefully this will help her to learn that it''s okay to be on her own but also allow us all to get some good sleep. My fingers are crossed.

Kennedy- thanks for chiming in about your experience with cosleeping

.

Ginger- sorry I can''t help with A''s sleep issues. At that point Ellie was following EASY pretty seemlessly. I do think that''s about when we got the baby sleep machine as a gift and started using it, and I think it may have been responsible for her sleeping a bit longer in between feedings. I agree with Mara and TGal that it helps to teach them to play/relax on their own a little bit. I always try to put Ellie in her crib to play with music and a couple toys while I put away her laundry or wash my face/brush my teeth. I used to have to reassure her pretty quickly but now she''s good for about 10 minutes or so. But yay for flirting! What a little cutie!

Question: have any of you noticed your baby/ies doing a little "shiver" every now and then? Ellie does it every once in a while, and it worries me a bit. It''s like a full body little shiver like you would do if you were really cold. It''s so subtle that no one else has ever noticed it, not even DH. It''s not like a seizure or anything. It literally lasts a miilisecond, and doesn''t distract her from what she''s doing at all. I can''t figure out any triggers. Sometimes it''s after she pees (which I only know because she caught me mid-change once!), or when she''s really excited, but also just out of the blue. I really hope its nothing, and will mention it to her doc but she doesn''t go until 2nd week of April. I don''t know if it''s worth calling about...

 

[Mandarine]

Natalina, that's pretty much their personalities!!!

Lucas on the right is sweet, always smiling, a momma's boy, loves to snuggle and flashes you his gummy smile with just a simple "hi". Alex (left) is determined, observant, intense, LOVES it when you talk to him, can stare at a toy (or his hands --or mine, faces, etc) for a LONG time and he loves to talk!!!!

Alex is pretty much like his dad...and I like to think Lucas is like me! hehe


ETA: My boys never shiver! COuld she be cold?

ETA2: CDT, our boys can hang!! I'll leave the house with their hair parted and punk it up once daddy is out of sight!! lol

 

[vizsla]

mandy - OK i don''t want to laugh b/c it''s not nice

, but i''m laughing b/c those are the EXACT fights my DH and i get into.... ugh, so annoying.
it''s why he''s driving me BONKERS!! we fight about totally ridiculous things. most are about charlie that mean nothing right *now*. For example: the other night we were talking about c and what sports we would encourage him to play. i was always into ''team'' sports - DH, on the other hand, was into ''hippy non-sports'' (his term, not mine - but it cracks me up) and i always joke to him that charlie is going to be a big football player. it seriously ticks him off. and, yeah, i''m kinda fluent in sarcasm so that gets me about, nowhere when we fight - it''s one sarcastic comment after the next. anyhoodles i totally get it.

ginger - giiiiirrrrrrllllllll your little one seems similar to c in those early days - not a good or bad thing, but just... well... i''m going to give you a hug right now

the arching back *could* be a sign of reflux. does he get stiff as a board too? i have zero authority to diagnose your LO buuuutttttt maybe take some notes of his behavior/actions when he gets really really fussy. babies w/ reflux often only feel happy when they are eating or are soothed/being held by their parents. there are some great meds out there to help. and i seriously thought i was in groundhog day most of the time i was at home. i went to bed holding c, woke up and held him all day and went back to sleep holding him. it took me a while to just accept it, and understand that what he needed most from me was comfort. some people will theorize that this reason alone is why he doesn''t sleep now, but i don''t think that is the case. babies, at that age, have no ability to manipulate. all they know is that they need comfort and security. it''s so hard to think that this time will pass, but it will... maybe not for awhile (as your day is like 20hrs long right?) but around 3.5 months we could gradually put c down for longer periods of time and around 4.5 months he started ''wanting'' to be in the exersaucer or out of our arms. he still, obviously, has a dickens of a time at night but the daytime ''neediness'' has subsided TREMENDOUSLY. hugs girl... if you want to vent or anything i''m here misery loves company

thanks pandora - i was, actually, getting worried that i was fabricating how hard nighttime is and was thinking that maybe i am having such a hard time because of PPD. depression runs very close to me on both sides of my family. it''s certainly a valid concern. another reason i started the little sleep log. i guess i needed to know that yes, indeed, i am getting up every hour (sleep cycle) and that yes, he does take upwards of 20mins to go back down. i should point out that DH and i do take ''turns'' at night but when baby wakes up, it''s not like the other can sleep thru it... and whomever is on ''feeding duty'' typically makes the bottle for the other. what a team eh? anyhoodles i guess what i was rambling about is that my midwife did tell me that between 4-6 months is when she would be most ''worried'' about me. going back to work, hormones, lack of sleep etc. it''s the perfect storm, right? i know my hormones are whack-a-do b/c my hair is falling out in clumps. my poor bathroom drain.
yesterday during lunch i took a nap in my car.... what a life...

kennedy - thanks again for weighing in. when everyone is talking about co-sleeping - there are various options - in bed, a co-sleeper or in PNP next to the bed. what did you do?

i agree that c needs much much more soothing than an average baby but really wonder if IN our bed is the best?? i guess the fact that i''m such a light sleeper has something to do with it.


last night i got mad at c. i put him to sleep at 7:30 - walked downstairs and fell asleep on the couch... like clockwork at 9:00 he was crying and i just got mad at him. i was like WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?!!? JUST GO TO SLEEP! DH had to take over soothing duty on that one. it''s so hard because episodes like that make me waver in my convictions, especially when i''m overly tired.

i know that i''m a softy ... i couldn''t even watch ''life'' last night because i feel so much empathy for the animals getting .... well food-chained. i KNOW this has something to do with my stance on CIO. i guess i admire?? those parents that can handle the crying... i can''t.

the discussion i had earlier about books and not taking into consideration the child''s ability/development might need a smidgen more elaboration. i went back and skimmed (ha!) HSHHC and baby whisper last night to see if i was coo-coo or not.. lord knows my mind isn''t as sharp these days... i guess my frustration is that - YES, they do say there are varying temperaments of children - HOWEVER, they don''t tailor their strategy. instead, they might merely say something like it could take 7 times instead of 3 to do ____________ if you have an ''active'' or high spirited child. to me that''s not helpful - because it''s still lumping these children with the average baby who maybe more receptive.

OK, so i''m trying to think of things that are not sleep related because it even drives ME nuts that my whole life seems to be fixated on how much sleep or how little sleep our family is getting - i can only imagine how you all are feeling

so, i successfully got my local coffee shop to name a large cup of coffee with 2 shots of espresso and steamed milk the ''new mom''. membership does have it''s privileges.

 

[natalina]

OK Viz- that you got a coffee drink named in your honor is awesome- and OMG that is some serious caffeine!!!!

 

[fieryred33143]

Viz-the getting mad, totally normal. I used to get mad too, especially when I would do one thing one night and she''d sleep and the next night she wouldn''t sleep. I would think ''lady make up your mind already!''

How do you and DH handle the nighttime routine?

When I went back to work I found that up until 3am, I was ok to handle wakeups. After 3am I was a complete zombie. So the way we split the nighttime duties were that she went to bed at 8:30pm and I went to bed at that time also. FI would handle her if she woke up before he went to bed which was usually 11pm. Then I would do 11 to 3am and he''d do 3am until we woke up for work.

I had to put a lot of trust in his ability to come up with his own method of soothing her back to sleep and in his ability to identify whether she was up because she wanted to be soothed or because she was hungry. When either one of us was awake, we''d shut the monitor off in the room so that the other didn''t have to hear what was going on.

 

[vizsla]

i don't know if this is a confession or not but typically i head to our cafeteria for another cup around 3:00.... and some nights make another to have with dinner. and yet it doesn't hinder my ability to fall asleep on the couch at 8:00

i am also going to start working out at lunch again. i used to run 20+ miles a week and lift with a trainer before getting PG. while i'm totally apprehensive about starting up again i'm hoping this will help my overall attitude and give me more energy to deal.
there are 2 perks about my job - #1 i wear havaianas every day - even bring them to work in the winter and #2 we have a fabulous gym at work.


ETA: nighttime.. well, DH is in charge of the bottles... he always takes the 'before 12' feeding/soothing - i take the 12-4 shift - he takes the 4-6 shift then i get up with c while DH sleeps for another 45mins. and without fail, i'm late to work.... everyday....

 

[steph72276]

Good morning! Well, E went his longest stretch he''s done so far at 5 hours, 15 mins. The bad part was that he woke up at 2:45am and was WIDE awake and didn''t want to go back to sleep. So, I fed him, changed him, rocked him, put him in his crib and he was not having it. So we stayed up until his next feeding at 5:45. At that point, he still didn''t want to go to sleep and Adam was just getting up for work, so I put him in the bed with me and he went right off to sleep, but I can''t sleep well at all when he''s in there with me b/c I don''t want to roll over on him or anything, but at least I closed my eyes for about an hour or so. So I''m tanking myself up on coffee right now while he takes a nice morning nap. I know I can''t complain b/c he did do a long stretch, but hopefully soon he will be going a little bit longer. Anyway, hope everyone has a great day!

CDT, hope L starts to feel better on his new meds.

Viz, that is so cool they named a drink after you. Don''t feel bad for getting frustrated and having your DH take him for a bit, it happens to everyone and it is the best thing to do to take a breather when you''re feeling frustrated.

Anchor, sorry about the bedtime failure...hopefully you guys had a better night last night.

Burk, hope your babies are feeling better today.

Mara, we are also not doing a walker for the safety reasons already mentioned. Andrew never had one and he was an early walker...he was walking around at 10 months (btw, I will be perfectly happy if E takes longer...the work gets harder chasing them around!)

Nov, I agree with everyone else to do the breastmilk first and then the bottle so you don''t have any BM go to waste.

Puffy, that''s good to know that your little N doesn''t have any sleep problems at night even though he sleeps during the day...maybe I won''t try quite as hard to wake him up, I guess he just needs his sleep!

Mandi, love the mohawks!

Ginger, we are doing the easy method too and I agree about the Y part being laughable. If you call cleaning the kitchen and laundry you time, then I''m getting lots of it! Sorry you guys are so exhausted. Hope A slept better for you last night. I love all the coos too!

Pandora, sorry about D''s bruise. Andrew fell the other day and has a big bump on his lip...hate to send him to school that way, but they are kids and it happens.

Nat, sorry you have been having sleep issues with E too....it is so hard when nothing seems to be working. Hang in there.

Hi, Sabine, TG, DD, Amber, Fiery, Blen, Sha, Tao, Kennedy and CC and anyone else I might have missed!

 

[steph72276]

Date: 3/24/2010 10:10:07 AM
Author: fiery
Viz-the getting mad, totally normal. I used to get mad too, especially when I would do one thing one night and she'd sleep and the next night she wouldn't sleep. I would think 'lady make up your mind already!'


How do you and DH handle the nighttime routine?


When I went back to work I found that up until 3am, I was ok to handle wakeups. After 3am I was a complete zombie. So the way we split the nighttime duties were that she went to bed at 8:30pm and I went to bed at that time also. FI would handle her if she woke up before he went to bed which was usually 11pm. Then I would do 11 to 3am and he'd do 3am until we woke up for work.


I had to put a lot of trust in his ability to come up with his own method of soothing her back to sleep and in his ability to identify whether she was up because she wanted to be soothed or because she was hungry. When either one of us was awake, we'd shut the monitor off in the room so that the other didn't have to hear what was going on.

Fiery, I totally agree with coming up with a system for SO to help out, especially with a higher needs baby. Adam and I had to do this with Andrew b/c nighttime was his time to scream for hours on end. He would get home at 7pm, I would head to bed until midnight and then get up and take the midnight to 6am shift while Adam slept and then got up at 5ish for work. That way, we both got a few hours in at least. I don't think I could have lasted long without his help. And it is true, Fiery that you just have to trust in your SO to handle it or else you won't get any rest during that time.

ETA: Oops, Viz just saw you do have a system, that is good...but do you rest during your time or are you hearing the baby?
ETA 2: Maybe you could try switching around shifts to find something where you can get more sleep? Like you stay up until midnight and then he does the 12-4 shift for a while?