PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[anchor31]

viz - Sorry to hear about AF.

natalina - Can''t help with the shudder thing. Jacob shivers a bit if he''s cold after a bath, but that''s it. I didn''t notice any shivering when he had a fever.

So my MIL is a daycare worker with a diploma in early childhood education (junior college) and took a class in childhood psychology in university. Yet she said yesterday that you can''t sleep train a baby...

Watch me. Despite her occupation and education on the matter, I''m not sure I trust the opinion of someone who wants to sleep my son in an illegal pre-1979 crib, surround him with blankets and pillows in his crib and use baby powder.

 

[lucy08]

Hi Natalina -
I''m normally a lurker here but saw your post on shivering and wanted to chime in. My daughter does the same thing every now and again. I mentioned it to the ped at our last visit (when she was 4 months - she''s now 6) and she said it by itself (i.e. in an otherwise happy healthy thriving child) was totally normal. It''s a response to their little brains getting a lot of sensory input. Mention it but don''t worry in the meanwhile.

 

[Mara]

lol mandarine yep i have a crazy husband. well the ''night'' feeding is his so he doesn''t mind getting up...because he can spend that time with J.. though he does try to give him back to me to put him down sometimes hehee. and yeah so far just one wakeup, but we all know that can change!! i am keeping fingers crossed.

one of my friends just came by who had a baby 3 days before we had J and our due dates were the same. it was so fun to see her baby and put the two babies together and take photos!! mandarine it made me think of you and the twins hehe. they were totally making each other talk and cry, it was hilarious!! we talk all the time via IM going ''is he doing THIS, mine too''...it''s great to have other babies around the same age as J.

 

[fieryred33143]

Hope no one kicks me after this post but if you are a Carters fan (I am!) you can now shop online!!

 

[taovandel]

Thanks Fiery....thankfully I don't have money right now..but if I did....I'd be in trouble.

Evan seems to have taken a turn since we took the swaddle off of him and started oatmeal. He had another good night of sleep (only getting up once) and waking up for the day at a normal and respectable hour (7am).

He was sooo fussy yesterday...crying for no reason for about an hour and he kept spitting up/throwing up. He wound up falling asleep for about 30 minutes around 7:30...and at about 8:10 he woke up---for his favorite show, American Idol. He had a tiny bit of oatmeal and was such a smiley baby it was crazy. He fell asleep right after Didi performed (She's apparently his favorite---he smiles everytime she comes on).

Today was so much better. Except he is now getting cradle C(r)ap. I thought this was more for newborns and I counted us lucky on escaping it...but nope he has it now.

ETA: I keep forgetting to mention this...but my husband now refers to himself as DH..haha!

 

[kennedy]

Date: 3/24/2010 9:47:19 AM
Author: vizsla

kennedy - thanks again for weighing in. when everyone is talking about co-sleeping - there are various options - in bed, a co-sleeper or in PNP next to the bed. what did you do?


i agree that c needs much much more soothing than an average baby but really wonder if IN our bed is the best?? i guess the fact that i'm such a light sleeper has something to do with it.



last night i got mad at c. i put him to sleep at 7:30 - walked downstairs and fell asleep on the couch... like clockwork at 9:00 he was crying and i just got mad at him. i was like WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?!!? JUST GO TO SLEEP! DH had to take over soothing duty on that one. it's so hard because episodes like that make me waver in my convictions, especially when i'm overly tired.


i know that i'm a softy ... i couldn't even watch 'life' last night because i feel so much empathy for the animals getting .... well food-chained. i KNOW this has something to do with my stance on CIO. i guess i admire?? those parents that can handle the crying... i can't.


the discussion i had earlier about books and not taking into consideration the child's ability/development might need a smidgen more elaboration. i went back and skimmed (ha!) HSHHC and baby whisper last night to see if i was coo-coo or not.. lord knows my mind isn't as sharp these days... i guess my frustration is that - YES, they do say there are varying temperaments of children - HOWEVER, they don't tailor their strategy. instead, they might merely say something like it could take 7 times instead of 3 to do ____________ if you have an 'active' or high spirited child. to me that's not helpful - because it's still lumping these children with the average baby who maybe more receptive.

My daughter slept in bed with us. Well, actually, at some point my husband moved out so he could get a good night's sleep since he was working and I wasn't. My daughter really wanted and needed to be right up next to me. I know lots of moms, though, who used a co-sleeper with good success. I'd probably advise against using a PNP because it will still require you to get up out of bed and bend over to soothe him. We used one at my parent's house and I found it absolutely backbreaking bending over to rub my daughter's back.

As for CIO, we tried it out of desperation when my daughter was 15 months (it didn't work) and then again at 17 months (didn't work again). I'm sure many will say that we simply waited too long (and perhaps they're right), but I absolutely did not feel comfortable trying any earlier. We were extremely consistent and did just what our well-meaning sleep experts suggested. After 3 weeks, however, my daughter was still crying for long stretches and just didn't seem like herself during the day. It was heartbreaking and I am deeply ashamed I let it go on so long. It was at that point that we decided to just let it go because the stress of trying to fix it was almost worse than the sleeplessness itself. I don't think you should feel the slightest bit bad for not being able to tolerate listening to your baby cry. It should be a painful sound and one that compels us to respond, at least for the first year or so. I know there are lots of babies for whom CIO consists of a couple of rough nights, but there are plenty of babies out there for whom that is most definitely not the case. I agree with you that it should not be used as a one size fits all approach because I do think for some babies it can be quite traumatizing.

And please give yourself a break for getting mad. There are few things more infuriating than a baby who won't go to sleep at 3 in the morning!

 

[phoenixgirl]

I just spent about half an hour catching up on the 5 pages that have sprung up since I last visited!

CDT, so sorry about Lex. Hope you figure out what''s wrong soon!

Nov, I''m having the same difficulty with pumping. Last week things were going great -- I was pumping enough each day and Claire was taking two 5 oz. bottles at daycare. Well, this week we decided to up to 6 oz. bottles because she had dropped a feeding, and all of a sudden she started taking the freezer milk "just in case" bottle at daycare plus the 12 oz., and my supply has dropped too. I think today I pumped about 8 ounces.


It''s not so much that I''m afraid formula is bad for Claire; she''s had it before. It''s that I''m afraid that if my body is "off the hook" for that 6 ounces or whatever, I''ll just produce even less.

This is also why I''m not trying too hard to get Claire to STTN. When I am a SAHM, I will definitely try harder to achieve STTN. But I''ve got this fear that if I don''t feed her overnight if she''s hungry, then she''ll just need to eat more during the day, and my choices would be wake up in the middle of the night to pump or give her formula. I''d rather wake up in the middle of the night to snuggle with my baby than to get down with the pump.

Yes, that''s right, "when" I am a SAHM. I can''t do it anymore. I am exhausted. I mean, yeah, I''m sticking it out until the end of the school year, but I do not have it in me to be a working mom. When I read on here about moms who knew when they were on maternity leave that SAH wasn''t for them, I feel like that confirms that this is right for me. I never thought that. I love my job and I can be obsessive about it, but while I was on maternity leave I didn''t miss it at all. In fact, when my sub contacted me, I was like, dude, figure it out on your own.

I feel like I am a bad mother. In order to successfully teach several AP classes and run the school newspaper, I have to work all the time at work (when I''m not pumping!) and at do hours of work at home (ok, I know it sounds funny to talk about "working all the time at work," but seriously, there''s no down time, so it''s not like work is relaxing). And so I have to ignore Claire. Last week I claimed on here that DH and I were balancing things as well as we could, but apparently we weren''t because I ran out of steam again. Saturday I was mopey all day. Sunday I felt better emotionally, but I got a stomach ache which lasted until Tuesday. It was so bad that I almost stayed home from work. Then in the middle of the day Tuesday, it dawned on me that I wasn''t sick, I was just stressed. The stomach ache went away instantly but was oddly replaced by a headache. I haven''t worked out/run since Thursday (the 10K I was training for is this weekend, but I don''t think that''s going to happen).

And DH and I had been communicating and supporting each other really well, but it seems to be slipping again. Like right now he is at a business dinner and wanted to go to a concert tonight. Well, after I sobbed all last night and went to bed at 8, he decided to skip the concert, but instead of saying that he was staying home since I was so stressed out, he just stressed how since he was missing the concert tonight, he would definitely go to this other concert on Monday. Oh great, I''ll just be sure to stop being distressed by then. And he''s gotten really passive aggressive about dinner. It was his responsibility, he was cooking or arranging take-out every night, and then he just stopped. I knew that it was a testy subject and that if I asked about it he''d be like, "Oh, I guess I''m just supposed to do dinner every night!" so I''d just get hungrier and hungrier waiting for him to start cooking or suggest take-out and once I just went to bed without dinner. Wait, does that mean I''m passive aggressive too? But we really had agreed on him doing dinner. I mean, it happened for several weeks in a row. So what is with him pretending this hasn''t been happening? And why would he choose to do this on nights when I am crying on the couch? Is he just unable to cope with me being stressed? Argh. This is what I get for being so stoic and even-keeled. I have addressed it with him, but he gets testy and complains about his dinner duties. Boo.


And can someone tell me if there''s any kind of 5 month weirdness? Claire woke up at 11 p.m. a couple of times this week to eat, but she''s also gone to bed at 6 p.m. (versus 7 or a couple of times. And she''s been crying at other times at night. Usually she is a one wake-up at 4 a.m. kind of girl. Today at daycare she purportedly had a poo of epic proportions . . . could it be all the extra eating she''s doing both at daycare and at home? Growth spurt?

 

[mela lu]

Hiyas. I just wanted to come over and say :hi: because I''m really not on PS anymore. I just feel so strapped for time, and I HATE doing the one liner posts - they are just not how I want to interact with my peeps here. So, to avoid the guilt of feeling like a bad PSer, I''m just abstaining right now. I know everyone says "don''t feel bad about me-centric posts" and to just contribute as much as they can, but I really don''t like being that way, so just know its not against anyone or anything other than the fact that I cannot devote the quality of time I''d like to. Period. When I feel like I can participate in a way that I''m happy with (say it like the Terminator) "I''ll be back". love yous all! xox

 

[Loves2Laugh]

Natalina I wanted to chime in about the "shiver" thing... P did it starting around 4 months and it would come and go. Of course everyone else didn't see it and they thought I was crazy. It happened a few times in one day or he'd go weeks and nothing at all. My MIL who watches him 3 days a week finally saw it and brushed it off as nothing. Once he got to be around 8-9 months or so, it became more obvious so I called the Dr and went in just to have that checked out. DH and I even caught it on video once to take it in. I had done a ton of searching online (wrong thing to do, I don't suggest it!) and got myself all sorts of worried! Obviously since it occurred so rarely all the pedi could do was a thorough exam and watch the video and what we described. She just told us to keep an eye on it and that she truly thought it was just a sensory thing. Either it was a true shiver or he was excited or a combination. He doesn't really do it anymore instead when he gets excited he'll clench his fists and I'll ask him if he's showing me his muscles! We make it into a game now. I'd still give the Dr a call but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. These guys do all sorts of funny little things to keep us guessing!

 

[natalina]

PG- I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time at work and home right now. Like you, I knew during my mat leave that there was no way I would miss work if I never went back. Since I didn't, I get a little stir crazy at home, it's hard being alone with just a baby all day. But DH is gone M-Th, so I am literally alone with her for four straight days every week. But I still wouldn't trade it. I'm really happy for you that you will be able to stay home with her after this year ends. Only a few more months then, right? I don't even know when school gets out anymore! May? June? Either way, that is SOON!!! Yay for you! A light at the end of the tunnel! As for the whole Dh and dinner thing, it makes me sad that you went to bed hungry. I would definitely get this out on the table. Dinner doesn't seem like too much to ask. And as for a 5 month crazy period: I would say h*ll yeah that sounds about right! We are SMACK in the middle of it over here! Ugh!

Viz, Sha, Fiery, Anchor, Lucy, L2L- thank you so much for your feedback on the shiver. It really makes me feel better. I will mention it to her pedi, but I don't think it's much too worry about. The overload of sensory input seems right on the money. I have noticed she seems to do it more when she's excited.

Mandarine- Yay for the new stroller!

Anchor- while I may think your MIL may be right about the sleep training (surely just due to our current situation), all I have to say is eeeeeeeek! about the crib, blankets, pillows and baby powder! Seriously?

 

[robbie3982]

Congratulations, Blushing!!! I saw some people talking about your news on fb and wanted to hop on and say how happy I am for you!

Hi ladies!

I''ve been MIA for a while now because things got to be really stressful at work and home. I felt like I was constantly struggling just to keep my head above water and I didn''t have time to keep up with the thread.

I posted about how unhappy I was before my hiatus and I can''t remember who it was (Blen? Dreamer?), but one of you said something that really struck a chord with me. You posted that I either needed to accept the situation and learn to be happy or make a change so that I could be.

Things finally reached a breaking point when we got into a huge fight with my parents who had been watching Des. Leaving him with them was no longer an option and I just couldn''t bring myself to look into paying someone else to do the thing that I wanted more than anything else in the world. That good old PS advice kept rattling around in my brain and we went over the budget with a fine tooth comb and made cuts that I''m sure many would not be comfortable with (hopefully it''s only temporary until DH can find a new job), but we''re so much happier now that I''m staying at home. I''ve officially been a SAHM for 3 weeks now.

I didn''t expect to be sad about leaving my job since I''ve never really pictured myself as a career woman, but it was definitely bittersweet. I liked my job, my boss and my coworkers and thinking about reentering the workforce in a few years (or really probably more like 10 if we can swing it so I''d be able to stay home until our youngest would be in school

) is definitely daunting.

Sabine''s kept me up-to-date with little tidbits about what''s been going on. I apologize for being bad about returning fb messages. My notifications come through on my phone, but I hate typing on it (virtual keyboard) and can''t seem to remember what I wanted to respond to once I''m able to use my computer.

Desmond will be 9 months old on Sunday.

Time is flying! We''re still BFing and cosleeping and we''re doing mostly table foods now. Every now and then we''ll do some purees if we''re eating something Des can''t have, but he really wants to eat what we''re eating. For example, tonight I made avocado and cucumber sushi. I''ve made it before and just given him some rice, avocado and cucumber pieces. I tried to do that tonight, but he wanted to eat a roll just like we were. I ended up giving him 2 pieces and he did really well with them! He unrolled them and sucked all the rice off, used his little pincer grip on the avocados and cucumbers and even managed to eat the nori! I''m pretty sure I heard some "mmmm''s" in there too, lol.

Des is the most energetic baby I''ve ever seen. We''ve been to a Little Gym (think Gymboree) class as well as story time at the library and he''s always the most active (or should I say crazy? haha). He''s a fast enough crawler to catch the cats and he''s awesome at cruising. He''s been standing without holding on for increasing periods of time lately, but only when he doesn''t realize he''s doing it. As soon as he realizes, he sits down or grabs onto something. He actually took his first step yesterday (without realizing he wasn''t holding on), but totally wiped out and hasn''t tried again since. I have a feeling he''s going to skip walking all together and just go straight to running, skipping and jumping (and possibly back flips?), lol.

I promise to try to be a better PSer now that I''m at home. I''ve missed you ladies!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Robbie I am SO glad you found a way to make it work. Like is too short to struggle doing something that makes you unhappy. I hope that you guys get to live the way you want for as long as you want!!

 

[Samantha Red]

Robbie, I am only a lurker on this thread, but I wanted to say how lovely it is to have you back. I always enjoyed reading your posts

 

[gingerB]

A has done better the last 2 nights -- back to his every 3 hours after that crazy screaming episode theother evening (i really think he was just soooooo over tired), which i now am totally fine with 3hrs after going through the every one hour madness. nothing like a little perspective, eh?

.

so hubbs and i finally got to go out for a dinner alone -- that was sooo nice and def refreshed us to re-enter newborn parent world

. my cousin babysat and i had told her loosely of his EAS time table, fully expecting that it would not be adhered to by A but that was ok, just do what needs to be done until we get back. but it seems A decided to surprise us again and stuck to the time table down to a tee

he loves turning our suppositions on their heads doesn''t he?

mara - i''m a strong believer in the comfort of routine, so we are powering through

i know this is good for A and he just needs time to grow and learn, we just need some patience. can''t wait for the day we complain that he''s sleeping "only" 6.5 hrs a night though

you are def a lucky mom in that regard!

mandy - add me to the baby mohawk fan club! actually DH and i style A like that quite frequently -- we get a kick out of it

cdt - yay for his firs tooth!

booo for him feeling yucky

and i am seconding the motion for a pic as soon as it pops up!

natalina - right now he''s sleeping in our room becuse his future nursery is currently occupied by another resident -- who is moving out soon and we can''t wait! that way we can do the white noise thing and hope that adds to the sleeping longer thing. and we are def going to start the teaching him to play on his own a bit. i''m going to try your method starting today! A does that shiver thing occ, and I haven''t been too concerned because he always seems fine before during after. let me know if your pedi says otherwise!

viz - yep on the stiff as a board with a back arching. we have apedi appt in 3 weeks, if he gets worse, i may call for an earlier appt. he is def happiest when eating or being held, but once he''s full he also enjoys the changing table

and hanging out on the boppy or bed or the activity mat/gym. i agree that there is no manipulation going on here. he cries or is fussy because he is trying to express a need, we just have to figure out what it is. doesn''t stop it from getting frustrating, but knowing that he can''t help it (and reminding ourselves of this) does help us get through it. thanks for the invitation to vent, i will most likely take you up on it. glad to hear that c''s daytime neediness is decreasing. now i''m going to be following c''s nighttime journey even more closely if htis is what i might have in store! oh and i LOVE that you got a coffe drink named in your honor -- that''s freakin'' awesome!

steph - woohoo for longer stretches!!

burk - yeesh -- growth spurts are killer on the sleep aren''t they? but yay on the baby steps forward!! when we talk to the pedi i''ll def ask about zantac.

blen - our comment on georgies and computers made me lol -- too cute!

fiery - also a carter''s fan -- def wish you hadn''t told me!

tao - sorry about the cradle cap, i thought it was for newborns only also. lol on DH.

phoenix - sorry about the DH issues

robbie -

really happy for ya''ll that things are working out as ya''ll want. and i just have to say i LOVE your avatar - desmond is just freaking adorable!!

 

[natalina]

Robbie- Welcome back!!!!!!! I remember how unhappy you were with having to leave Des to work, and I am so happy for you now that you can stay home!!!! I know what you mean about having to make some big adjustments, but I'm sure you won't regret it. I have to tell you, I thought of you a few nights ago because we are having sleep struggles with Ellie and I found myself sleeping on the hardwood floor in her room (miserable) and was racking my brain about where to go from there. All of a sudden I remembered you posting about doing the exact same thing, which led you to a much happier situation- cosleeping. So I tried it. Last night was our third night and it has been SO much better! DH gets home tonight, so we'll see what its like with him in the bed, too... I saw your "baby in a box" pics on FB=> tooooooo cuuuuute!!!!! Des is adorable and your photography is fantastic!!

Ginger- yay for a grown-up's dinner out and A sleeping better!!!!

ETA: Mela- don't know if you will be back to read this, but we miss you! Totally understand, though. I fall behind and feel like a bad PS'er all the time

. Hope all is well with you and that sweet Romeo!!!!

 

[Mandarine]

ugh...I'm tired.

I have said it before, my babies wake up once to eat between 7pm and 6am. The thing is that there are TWO of them...so that's a lot of interrupted sleep for me. I am tired!!!. I swear every morning I wake up and think "that's it, I'm not going to feed them anymore at night...they are just going to have to CIO". I just never follow through...hell, I don't even attempt to as I make the bottles before going to bed!. Alex woke up at 1am last night and Lucas at 5:30am (not bad for Lucas...but then he woke up Alex and nobody was able to sleep again until like 7am, for like 30 minutes). I gave them only like 3.5 oz each...so really, was that necessary? do they really need to eat or is it just comfort?.

I don't want to not feed them if they need to eat. They don't make a peep the rest of the night for the most part (ignoring my huge failed attempt to put Lucas in a sleep sack last night).

See, if they were waking up multiple times at night not even wanting to eat...I would absolutely let them cry at this point (I do it for naps when needed because I know they've been changed and fed and sometimes just fight sleep)....but once per night in a period of 11 hours is not bad. I mean, even I take a drink of water in the middle of the night. So I feel bad not giving them that tiny bit amount of food....but at the same time my body is ASKING for some uninterrupted sleep already!!! It's just been too long!.

I know it almost sounds as if I'm asking for someone to tell me "it's ok, let them cry, they will be fine"...to give me permission so I don't feel guilty. Maybe I am...I have no idea! I'm just confused!.

Tonight I will probably make my bottles again, and I will feed them just like I do every night...I guess this is my morning vent!


ETA: Welcome back Robbie!!!!!!!! We've missed you!!!
Mela...sorry but that's not an excuse!!!! I don't mind Mela-centric posts if that's all you have time for! Your posts make me laugh!!! Come back!!!

 

[vizsla]

i mean this in the nicest possible way... but i hate robbie and PG

kidding... i'm just so JEALOUS!! that you made it work in order to stay home!

but more so, thanks for giving me hope that i can and will find something that will work for us.

and welcome back robbie! i'm interested as to why having your parents or inlaws watch des wasn't working anymore? i only ask because i have been holding off my inlaws for almost 2 months now.. it's not that i don't think they are lovely people, they are, but i'm not comfortable with them watching charlie allllll day. i thought the older c got the easier it would be (not so much) so i'm curious if it, in fact, gets harder or easier the older they get.

PG - i'm not going to try and say i know what you are feeling, but i sure do empathize with you. i have a very stoic, don't want help, can do everything myself attitude. this has been a godsend in most aspects of my life - as i typically do everything i set my mind to, have never had a 'what if' moment and don't 'settle' for much. but when i get stressed, and i feel like i can't handle everything in my path - it manifests itself in unusual ways. i planned our entire wedding myself... and was in charge of every last detail. the week before the wedding my legs broke out in a rash. i couldn't figure it out.. until i realized that while i was saying i wasn't stressed, it was actually the contrary. i find myself doing this a lot with charlie. since i don't see him that much i monopolize the time i have with him at home.. which has created a DH monster because he immediately thinks as soon as i am home he is 'off the hook' and disappears. then *i* feel guilty when i do ask him to watch charlie or put him to sleep b/c i feel like i should be spending as much time with him as possible. and get stressed about the things i should be doing but can't because every min at home is with charlie. anyhoo, i think that with both of your crazy schedules, once you are a SAHM things will get amazingly better - and your 'after work' time will be much more manageable and equal. so hang in there .... it's like a month left, right?? sooo jealous!

kennedy - thanks again... did you find any success with longer stretches of sleep once your daughter was able to sleep on her belly?? i've read that babies with reflux or constant night wakings sometimes have success when they sleep on their bellies. we tried putting c down on his stomach months ago, but he was still fully swaddled and i wasn't comfortable b/c he couldn't roll over. now that he is rolling both back to front and front to back i am comfortable with trying belly sleeping again.

last night when i was putting him to sleep he fell asleep on me (belly to belly) sprawled out with his little ear directly over my heart... gah, i could have melted.... and i didn't have the heart to move him into the crib. i am completely confident in my ability to sleep and hold charlie as that is the ONLY way he slept for most of his first three months. i know it's not recommended or a popular option, but it 'worked'. anyhoo, last night i just propped a pillow under my arm and we both fell asleep until 12:00!! that was a BIG 3 HOUR chunk of sleep!!!!!! after that he was up every 1.5-2hrs but i only needed the large coffee today, no espresso shots

i think my DH would be more comfortable with co-sleeping if we had a king size bed... our queen feels awfully 'full' when we add the little booger nose.

......so today
before DH and i get out of bed, we turn on the TV and have an early morning snuggle session with charlie. he gets his morning bottle and we just hang out. this morning, as i'm watching the news, i see the 'face' and know i'm going to have to deal with the morning poo. (in our house, whomever is holding the baby when he poops has to change the diaper anyhoo, DH was already in the shower and i hear the first explosion. but, as is typical with charlie, there is another 'episode' a few mins later so i just waited. a few mins later i was rewarded with more poo...... all over me....... all over my comforter....... all over charlie's legs, hands, back.. it was EVERYWHERE! DH forgot to put an undershirt onsie on before his sleeper... so there was only one flimsy line of defense and his little nighttime diaper couldn't hold all what charlie had to offer. it was bedlam after i realized what had happened. i was laughing and yelling to dh for a washcloth, laughing and trying to keep charlie's hands out of the poo because inevitably he would put them directly into his mouth. and the more i laughed the more charlie laughed..... then the dog tried to eat the poopy sleeper before i could throw it in the wash...... ahhhhhh good times, good times.

aaaannnnnnndddddddd wish me luck... tomorrow i have my first 'post baby' workout with my trainer... and we have to do a fitness assessment

with fat calipers

 

[fieryred33143]

Hi Robbie

PG-When does the school year end for you? Is it in May?

Viz-Is Charlie a tummy sleeper?

Where''s RPS?

FI and I got into a really stupid argument this morning. He has been helping me take Sophia to his mom''s house even though it''s in the opposite direction for him. My boss is on top of me over the time I get in to work (although he doesn''t say anything about me staying late

) so we are splitting days when he takes Sophia vs when I take her. To be on time, he has to leave our place at 7. He has to be in the office by 8am. He drives North and gets zero traffic unless there is an accident.

So this morning at 5:30am (!!) he wakes up and turns on all of the lights in the house. He''s yelling out to me from the bathroom to wake up. It''s 5 freakin 30. WTH?! So I get pissed off and tell him that I don''t understand why he''s waking me up so early and he yells back that if he has to wake up this early to be out of the house on time then I have to wake up this early too. So I get into the bathroom, at this point it''s 6am and he''s rushing me to get out so that he can finish what he had to do and leave because otherwise he was going to be late. It was 6am! WTH? His mom lives 10 minutes away.

So by 6:15 he was done and was practically on top of me trying to get me to hurry up while changing her diaper and OMG I''m going to be late. I asked him if there was an accident and he said he didn''t know because he didn''t have time to turn on the tv and check. I was so confused and so angry and so annoyed.

So at about 7:15 while I was on the road he called and this was our conversation:

Him-Hi.
Me-Hmmm
Him-I''m at work
Me-

It''s only 7:15.
Him-Yeah I know.
(Silence)
Him-I got really confused and thought it was 6:30 when I woke up.
Me-You didn''t realize it was 5:30 when you woke up?
Him-No.
Me-Hmmm
Him-I''m sitting in the parking lot with nothing to do.
Me-Hmmm

Who gets confused about the time? I mean if it''s 5:30 then it''s 5:30. Why is that so hard??

I''m still confused and still annoyed.

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

I don''t have much to say these days but did want to say hi to everyone!

Mandarine, I love baby mohawks. I attached a pic just for you! When Will was tiny, his hair fell out on the sides, so he had a natural mohawk and my oldest son decided one day to put glue in it to make it a real ''hawk. I was so tempted to take Will out like that. People asked me all the time if I cut his hair like that and I was horrified! I mean, I''d allow a kid to get a ''hawk when he''s old enough to make that choice, but I would certainly not cut my 2 1/2 month old''s hair into one!!

Poor Ben doesn''t look like he''s going to have the same good luck. His hair is still blond fuzz.

Viz, my sympathies on the explosive poop!


===================

I got nothing on the sleep thing. We co-sleep and both of us love it, plus Ben seems to love it, so no problems there. Ben snoozes on and off between 9 and 11 each night, then goes into hibernation mode and I take him to bed. He typically sleeps until 4 or 5, I nurse him in bed (half asleep) and then we get up for the day between 7 and 7:30. I have no complaints.

All of I''ve been doing this week so far is working and looking at houses (well, plus taking care of kids). We''ve pretty much decided to find a house even closer to my ex than we are now so that the kids have an easier time going back and forth. I have realized that buying a house with an architect sucks badly -- SO can nitpick better than anyone else I know.

We saw an AMAZING house last night, and I use the word amazing in a very bad way. The house was foreclosed on and there were renters in it, so the agent told me that it''s kind of dirty on the inside. Ok, that''s not a deal breaker; it''s not the best, but the house is very cheap, so we could handle it. We were going to see it on Sunday with the agent, but decided to drive by last night and I''m so glad we did. The driveway is extremely steep -- like the drop on a roller coaster. It made me sick to even look at it (and yes, I mean physically sick...I can''t handle coasters anymore). Yeah, cheap or not, that driveway was a deal breaker.

Beyond that, everything''s pretty much status quo. Ben''s doing great -- lots of laughs and smiles, which totally make my day.

 

[NovemberBride]

RPS - that mohawk is adorable! Good luck with the house hunting.

PG - I am glad that you have come to a decision that will work for you. I hope you can relax a little bit now. On the pumping front, I am still pumping 3x a day at work, so as not to let me body of the hook. I am just ditching the frantic evening and middle of the night pumps to make up the shortfall. 2 days in I am much more relaxed.

 

[kennedy]

Date: 3/25/2010 9:26:15 AM
Author: vizsla

kennedy - thanks again... did you find any success with longer stretches of sleep once your daughter was able to sleep on her belly?? i've read that babies with reflux or constant night wakings sometimes have success when they sleep on their bellies. we tried putting c down on his stomach months ago, but he was still fully swaddled and i wasn't comfortable b/c he couldn't roll over. now that he is rolling both back to front and front to back i am comfortable with trying belly sleeping again.


last night when i was putting him to sleep he fell asleep on me (belly to belly) sprawled out with his little ear directly over my heart... gah, i could have melted.... and i didn't have the heart to move him into the crib. i am completely confident in my ability to sleep and hold charlie as that is the ONLY way he slept for most of his first three months. i know it's not recommended or a popular option, but it 'worked'. anyhoo, last night i just propped a pillow under my arm and we both fell asleep until 12:00!! that was a BIG 3 HOUR chunk of sleep!!!!!! after that he was up every 1.5-2hrs but i only needed the large coffee today, no espresso shots


i think my DH would be more comfortable with co-sleeping if we had a king size bed... our queen feels awfully 'full' when we add the little booger nose.

No, I don't remember a difference when she started being able to sleep on her tummy, but she's a back sleeper by choice.

My daughter used to sleep on my tummy, too! It was the only way she'd sleep for those first couple of months. Anyway, after the big 3 hour stretch, did you put him back in his crib or did you keep him in bed with you? It's certainly interesting that he was able to go longer than usual laying on top of you. I hope you don't mind me asking, but is it possible he's really craving closeness and connection with you at night since, as you say, he doesn't get to see you as much during the day? Just a thought and not meant in any way to make you feel bad or guilty.

Yay for no espresso shots! Crazy how an extra hour or two can make such a big difference! Hang in there!

 

[Mandarine]

PSA Baby ergo carriers on sale at babysteals.com
http://www.babysteals.com/

 

[robbie3982]

Thanks, Dreamer! I completely agree. Life is too short and unpredictable. All we''re guaranteed is the present so we''re going to do our best to enjoy it.

Samantha, awe thanks!

Thanks, Ginger! That''s so nice that you got to go out to dinner with your DH! DH and I have only had one night out together since Des was born and we went to his cousin''s wedding so we were definitely not alone. We''re hoping that one of his sisters will be able to babysit for us this weekend so we can go out to dinner for my birthday. We have a gift card to my favorite restaurant.

Doesn''t it always seem like babies try to prove you wrong anytime you say they can/can''t do something? It certainly seems that way to me with Des!

Natalina, I''m glad to hear that cosleeping is working for you so far! DH was initially very against it, but now he loves it. We were actually trying to transition Des to his crib a few weeks ago because I thought that I would want some Des-free time now that I''m SAH with him. Turns out I don''t and DH doesn''t want him to leave either! I was just looking at Ellie''s latest pics and she''s sooo beautiful! Thanks for the photography compliment! We''re hoping that eventually I''ll be able to work part-time for my friend at her photography business.

Mandarine, after having 1 baby I''m in complete awe of all you twin mamas who manage it all with 2. Seriously, you''re like superheroes!

Vizsla, it took us a while to get to the point where we were able to look at some of the things we''ve put on hold as non-necessities. We''re almost paycheck-to-paycheck right now with just a slim margin of error. We figured we have a decent enough savings account that we could supplement our income if we needed to (haven''t had to yet and I don''t think we''ll have to) short term. Our plan is that if we can''t make the budget work by the time he''s one (so 3 more months) I''ll find something part time during the hours that DH isn''t working so that he''ll be able to watch Des. We decided it''s really important to us that we''re the ones watching him though. We got into a huge fight with my family at the beginning of February and haven''t spoken to them since. We''ve always had a rocky relationship and my mom complaining to me about watching Des (even though she begged me to watch him before I was even pregnant

) was just the last straw. I mean, I get that it''s hard work watching him, but you begged me to do it and he''s your grandson! Plus if she needed to complain about it she really should have complained to someone else, not his mother who wanted nothing more than to be the one watching him. The fight was about a lot more than that and I don''t know if we''ll be speaking again any time soon. Even if we are, I don''t want her watching him. I don''t want him to ever feel like he was a burden on anyone. She would also mention things that she did or was planning to do that made me really question her judgment. I was talking to her on my way home from work once and she mentioned that she was going to pick up dinner with Des and my sister and mentioned she was just going to leave him in the car with her while she ran in real quick. My sister is physically and mentally handicapped so leaving him in the car with her is, to me, the same as leaving him in the car alone because my sister would not be able to help him if something were to happen. I was definitely not ok with him being left in the car while she ran in (even if it was quickly) and told her so and she flipped out. I ended up picking up her dinner and paying for it because she wouldn''t promise to not leave him in the car and she was mad that she had to wait a few extra minutes to get her food. [angryfire:]

MIL and FIL started watching Des full time when we stopped speaking to my parents, but we didn''t feel comfortable asking them to do it full time. They never really offered to watch him at all (DH had to ask) and I got the impression that it was a bit of an imposition from that. MIL also has breast cancer and was going through radiation treatments at the time. They ended up watching him full time for 3 weeks and I think they really miss seeing him every day now. FIL stopped by unannounced the other day just to see Des.

I think it''s going to keep getting more difficult to watch him as he gets older until he''s able to understand rules. Right now he gets into everything and you can''t take your eyes off of him for a second (he destroyed a board book and was eating it and he wedged himself behind the couch while I was writing this post) and he''s not even walking yet. I imagine he''ll get into even more trouble once he''s walking and then even more when he''s able to climb on things.

Enjoy the days of sleeping with him on your tummy while you can! Des wasn''t feeling well the other day and would only sleep like that. Problem is he''s too big for it to be comfortable now. Sometimes I really miss the snuggly tiny baby days.

Hey fiery!

That sucks that FI woke you up earlier than you needed to be up! We''ve had a few days like that. On one of our alarms it''s very easy to accidentally change the time while you''re changing the alarm. Luckily one of us usually realizes what''s happened before we get too far into the getting ready routine.

RPS, what an adorable mohawk!

Here''s a recent Des pic so you can all see how much my cutie pie has grown. He''s got a little scar on his forehead from taking a dive into the in-laws dresser:

 

[princesss]

/de-lurking to say:

Robbie, I''m sorry things have been so crazy for you, but I''m glad you''ve got them figured out for now. I''m glad you (and your super photogenic son) are back!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Fiery hahahaaaa My Dh would totally do that! haha

Viz Sounds like co sleeping works well in terms of sleep! My best friend ended up cosleeping because her son would only sleep for like an hour in his crib and slept for 3-4 in the bed. I say, get you some ear plugs and a king size bed and cosleep. Honestly, your happiness and sanity are important!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/25/2010 12:29:28 PM
Author: dreamer_d
Fiery hahahaaaa My Dh would totally do that! haha

Viz Sounds like co sleeping works well in terms of sleep! My best friend ended up cosleeping because her son would only sleep for like an hour in his crib and slept for 3-4 in the bed. I say, get you some ear plugs and a king size bed and cosleep. Honestly, your happiness and sanity are important!

I'll save you some money and say kick the hubby out onto the couch.

ETA also wanted to say to Robbie that it's nice to see you around here again!

 

[Mara]

RPS I am glad you are back -- I was just thinking this morning 'where's RPS' hehee. Love the pic of Will.

Viz I hope that cosleeping works for you guys! Drinking less caffeine can't be a bad thing either.

Robbie super cute pic of D. It's awesome you worked out being at home for your family.

Fiery aww man a loss of an hour of sleep is something big..!! and G is totally like that too re: 'if I suffer' haha. Men!

Mela I hope you still come around and post pics and some me-centric posts..

Mandarine you poor thing re: the nighttime feeding. It's a drag that the boys aren't coordinated with feedings and naps etc. I asked my neighbor if her boys were like that, and she said not really but she BF'd so I don't know if that made a diff or what but she was like I would just put them both on the boob and that was it...maybe they didn't get a choice hehe.

__________________

So question for the Moms with older kids where you were not cosleeping and trying to get kiddo to sleep longer and potentially wean off the nighttime bottle-- is there ever a good reason to wake the baby if they are not fussing, to give them their 'scheduled' bottle?

Because last nite, as if to prove that he wants to keep us on our toes, J went 9.5 hours again in the first stretch. Which was amazing EXCEPT just after 2 nights, my body was conditioned to wake up at 3. 3:30. and 4. And then stay awake waiting to hear squeaks because they were sure to happen ANYTIME. So at 5 I was still awake and G's alarm went off. No squeaking but I decided to get up and pump. Basically at 6:30 I was still awake, and I got him up since he was making restless noises, like squeaking intermittently then falling back asleep for 10 min then squeaking etc...the eventual result would have been crying and full awakeness, probably right as I fell back asleep. So at 6:30 he was sleepy but not totally out, changed him, fed him 3oz (all he would take, kept passing out) and put him back down within 20 min. He slept til 9:30 so 12 hours total with the 20-30 min 'awake' time. I wondered if I should have just let him get to the crying stage to let me know he NEEDED to eat, rather than getting him when he was sleepy since he only took 1/2 his bottle.

Anyway last nite we did a feed at 6:30 and then a bath at 8 and his last feed at 8:30 so he was totally comatose by 9..this was the first time in a long time he has been THAT comatose, putting him down was all of 2 minutes, a quick rock and shh and put down and pass out. Considering how hard he has been fighting it the last few nights, I don't know if it was the bath or the more clustery feed that did it or BOTH but we will try it again tonite and see (maybe sans bath and try bath tomorrow).

And again for those Moms who would love a 6.5 hour stretch, don't beat me (too hard)...but obviously the goal for us is how we can continue to get him to keep upping it.

 

[snlee]

Date: 3/25/2010 1:11:45 PM
Author: Mara

So question for the Moms with older kids where you were not cosleeping and trying to get kiddo to sleep longer and potentially wean off the nighttime bottle-- is there ever a good reason to wake the baby if they are not fussing, to give them their ''scheduled'' bottle?

Nope, never wake a sleeping baby.

Back to lurking.

 

[Mandarine]

Mara - Thanks!. I actually put them down to nap at the same time...I''m just not always lucky. Sometimes one fusses and one falls sleep....so I end up taking the fussing baby out of the room and putting him in the swing so the sleeping baby can nap!. As for eating, they don''t really have a choice during the day...or at least they didn''t use to!. They had scheduled times to eat since they were like 5 weeks old (7,10,1,4 and 7) then if one baby woke up during the night, I would wake up the other one to feed him too.

Now that they got sick, the daytime bottles are sort of all over the place because they haven''t gained their apettite back (went from eating 7 oz every 3 hours to like 5 oz if I''m lucky..and not always every 3 hours!).

When they go to be like 3.5 months or so, I stopped waking up the sleeping abby to eat if one woke up in the middle of the night. I felt like I had to see how much they could go on if I let them sleep...and I felt it was counterproductive to wake up the sleeping one because maybe one baby was ready at that point to start STTN (haha, joke is on me!). Since then, I feed them when they wake up, if they wake up, during the night...do that''s the reason why they don''t eat at the same time between 7pm and 6am!.

Now as for the day, believe me...I''m trying like a MAD woman to get them back on the same schedule because this schedule mess in driving me nuts!!!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/25/2010 1:15:09 PM
Author: snlee

Date: 3/25/2010 1:11:45 PM
Author: Mara

So question for the Moms with older kids where you were not cosleeping and trying to get kiddo to sleep longer and potentially wean off the nighttime bottle-- is there ever a good reason to wake the baby if they are not fussing, to give them their ''scheduled'' bottle?

Nope, never wake a sleeping baby.

Back to lurking.

They say this, but in our case we had to wake the sleeping baby all the time and didn''t have an issue.

Amelia nearly didn''t leave the hospital because I didn''t have any milk and she lost over 10% of her weight. The LC at the hospital and the LC at my breastfeeding class said we needed to wake her. We used techniques like blowing her feet or belly and light tickling. So from the getgo, we woke up our sleeping baby.

Once her weight was up, we didn''t have to do that anymore, but by 6 weeks, she was on a generaly schedule. I never woke her up a night...she woke up on her own for that middle of the night feed. However, throughout the day, we did wake her if her nap seemed to be going too long. Nothing harsh...just the light blowing technique and since she had gotten plenty of rest, she always woke up fairly easily and just slowly and comfortably came too. For us, this seemed to help set her schedule where it soon became like clockwork.

To answer your specific question Mara, it seems that you want to wake him up in the middle of the night to give him a bottle since you know he takes one. If the pedi has given the green light to let him sleep as long as he''ll go at night (which I assume is the case as Amelia had the same green light at J''s age), there''s no reason to wake the kid. Just let him sleep. The wake up times will vary (Amelia''s did) but hopefully at some point it will go away. It will probably also become more regular as schedules solidify. However what I mean by "regular" is that there is a window...for Amelia it was anywhere between 1 and 3:30. Still a good sized window.

One day Amelia never woke up for that bottle. Problem solved, 12 hours of sleep - check!