The All New Ladies-In-Waiting Club!

[blueroses]

I''m right there with you girls. I think my bf knew about all the time and effort involved, but really thought he somehow was an exception and would be able to walk into a store, pick out a ring, buy it, the end. He''s said as much....that he "sees himself" just going into a store and isn''t 100% comfortable w/ internet vendors. Of course, this was BEFORE he really started shopping and I guess now he''s shell-shocked.

I wish--for ALL of us--that this had happened before it became such an issue b/c I feel in a way like so much of this moment is runined already....I only have a few friends who had a real "surprise" but none of them seem to have had the pre-e turmoil and torture that I (and I know now, you guys too!) have endured. I''ve said to the BF for at least 6 months that I didn''t care about a ring, that he could give me a bread tie or draw a line around my finger with a sharpie pen, and then pick out a ring together. But that somehow would have been ok THEN....now after so long it''s like, so you make me wait AND you never did anything about the ring?! Which I suppose is unfair of me--I still would just rather get the proposal than the ring--but it feels like they get SO much time and we just flounder feeling helpless. One can only be so "proactive" in this without feeling like a diamond-obsessed harpy

 

[kanne]

allycat

yes I agree that timing has a LOT to do with the whole process. I should know....I'm 32 now and we've been together 10 YEARS! First he wanted to get married (and I didn't) then I did (and he didn't) but finally we straightened out our problems, careers, school etc and realized that the "One" for each of us was the person that had been there all along.

Anyway..that's why I am so antsy now. To finally make the commitment public would be such an incredible thing. During our time together we have gone to so many weddings, celebrated new babies (and yes even seen two divorces). I'm not sure that my BF does not understand my anxiety about "moving our life to a new level"... He is really trying to find the "perfect" ring and I think that I may be ruining his search with constant questions. I should just let him be the sweet and wonderful man that he truly is and stop worrying...



-lovey

 

[allycat0303]

Kimber: Hugs! Well at least he knows what you want! I wish I could give my boyfriend the option of surprising me but I KNOW that will be disasterous. I know it seems as though he doesn't understand that this is really important to you, but it might be a ploy to throw you off the track. There is a certain amount of indifference to the subject which is needed to successfully throw you off the track. Do you know if he has gone ring shopping yet? Or has he been saving up for the ring? I agree that the symbol of it is very important. Beyond the fact that it is bling, bling (and we do love that), it's about the promise of spending the rest of your life together.

Appletini: I love the ritani! I love pave in general! I prefer it to with an RB too. Do you know how thick the band is? it looks really tiny.

NJC: 9 weeks!!! Well at least the wait is almost over! A ring that takes that look to find/ design is going to be fabulous.

Lovey: I think that once careers are straigtened out then you can worry about the fun stuff! I know a lot of people like to start off their life together, get married when still in school and go through the whole process together, but I can't split my attention. I can't even study for two different exams in the same day.I think as soon as I'm settled in school I'll be just as anxious as you are to move onto the next step of my life. Are you expecting a proposal soon too? And what does your perfect ring look like? Your poor boyfriend must be under a lot of stress.

 

[KimberJEB]

Alley - yeah, lol, I just don''t know. For oh, 2.5 years now I have thought it was going to happen. He did go ring shopping to Kay''s for a princes cut (I had to have a chat with him...princess is pretty but not for me, and Kay''s is expensive as heck for, well, nothing that nice). About 4 months ago. Has ANYTHING happened since? Nope. So, I don''t know. It seems he gets a minor spark of interest and then it goes away for 6 months...but that spark gets me all excited. Honestly, shoot he could be trying to trick me, but this is the longest trick in the book!

Blueroses - I know what you mean. I said a CZ would be fine. And it would HAVE been. Now - I don''t know. I feel like i deserve SOMETHING for this wait. I mean, if I was going to get a CZ I sure as heck shouldn''t have had to live through this torment and torture for so long!

 

[Fiancee to be]

Thankfully after reading a lot of posts from this site, I have learned that when my girlfriend starts talking about proposing I quickly dismiss it as years down the road. That makes it a little tougher to get ring preferences out of her but it''ll be worth it to see the surprise on her face. I had such good ideas for a xmas eve proposal it''s too bad that it won''t happen. So now I''m racking my brain for another romantic idea in Jan or Feb, our anniversary isn''t until months later. Valentine''s Day seems too cliche for me.

I think if your boyfriend is delaying at all the best thing is to sit him down and let him know how much you are stressing about it and how important it is to you. Most of the time we are afraid to say the wrong thing, which could either make you more anxious or tip you off to our plans.

 

[blueroses]

Lovey, I hear you!--I''m 30 and we''ve been together for 8 years--but I totally agree that it takes time to be in the same place of readiness with all the other elements of life. For the longest time when people would ask about it, I always said "right person, wrong time." Now that the time has been here a little while, I''m not even antsy--I think I''m INsANE!!!! Have you chosen a setting? Hooray that the stone is en route--we will have to hear all the details.

Maybe once it all happens the stress is supposed to melt away?? I just hate that in years to come I will never have some idyllic story...it will be more like, "well, kids, after I hounded your father for almost a year and he dragged his feet so much I was convinced he really didn''t even want to be with me, it was just a PERFECT romantic evening!!??"

 

[Croí]

hey

can I join up ?? I found PS a few weeks ago after literally falling apart in a jewelry store when my love and I made a surprise stop to look at sparklies! I left feeling I was genetically defective for being a female who knew bugger-all (basically) about diamonds.
then I found you all - salvation !
everyone on here was great, I got mad into the whole researching thing - for about a week

since then things have changed on a few fronts - big family storm happening (not anything to do with us or our plans) which is not pleasant .... all e-fun more or less on hold for me.

anyway, I''m definitely ''''in-waiting'''' so if you all don''t mind, shove over on the bench !!
Croí

 

[appletini]

Ally: I''m glad you like it. I don''t know how thin it is, but I want a really thin band (it will make the diamond look bigger!)

 

[kanne]

Allycat

hmmm. dream ring?? Probably a square emerald in a simple pave solitaire setting with leon''s claw prongs. Yup! That would about do it for me!! How about you??

ugh. Back to work!! Nothing wrong with a little "diamond therapy" in the middle of the day..thanks ladies.

Lovey

 

[allycat0303]

Appletini: Yes thin bands do the trick. I have an eternity band that is 2.5 mm and I told my boyfriend that I don''t want a band that is bigger then that for my e ring.

Kimber: Grrrrr.... 4 months. Damn those spurts of intrest! And it gets you excited everytime they happen? And yes you do deserve something nice because he made you wait for so long! I tell my boyfriend the price of ring will go up every year once I''ve decided that I''m ready

. It''s true that a CZ wouldn''t work at this point, if you''ve waited this long, it''s under the assumption that he has been saving up, or trying to find the right ring. Have you talked to him about this subject? how does he react when you ask him?

Blueroses: You leave out the kicking and screaming part

I think this process is more common then you think. I just don''t think a lot of girls talk about it unless they are close friends. For example, my boyfriend''s sister was dating a guy for 7 YEARS! He was 36 and she was 26 when they started dating. And she knew after two years that she wanted to marry. And I swear to God, she told me more times then I can count about talks, breakups, threats. etc because she wanted the get married and he totally did not want. False hopes..etc trust me five years is a long time. In any case I was her maid of honour last september when they got married. Not only did he cry like a baby when she came down the aisle, but in his vow to her, he said that this marriage was "inevitable". SO this is from a guy that was completely AGAINST marriage, while yours is not the case at all. So think of it as gentle nudging on your part!

 

[blueroses]

Alleycat, that''s encouraging....they just all need to get their collective as$es in gear!

Lovey, I think we have similar taste!! I am LOVING asschers set in pave...except I will probably want a pave border around the stone and not the prongs....though, I really wouldn''t turn either down!

 

[twinkletoes]

I thought this is what I wanted as well. A nice diamond with a micropave thin band like the Michael B styles. But I tried on the Vera Wang version and it didn''t look right on my hand. It might have been the ring size (I know I''m def a bit smaller than a size 5) and the ring I tried on.

But you know what I hate? I''ve gone into jewelry stores on my own to browse at rings and because I''m there alone no one takes me seriously. The sales people act annoyed like I''m wasting their time and they don''t bother to tell me about a piece I''m interested in. Ugh.

And I think my bf feels the same about buying a ring. He can just walk into a store and buy one in a day like it''s no big deal. I want to learn more, do my research, get the best deal since it''s such a large investment, and find the design of my dreams (or have it made)!

We talked last night and he asked me "don''t you want to be surprised?" and my response? ... yes.... but no. "so you want to know when?" no... but yeah! "so do you want to be surprised or do you want to know everything?" ... argh, both..i can''t make up my mind!

gosh, how annoying can i be?! LOL

 

[allycat0303]

Lovery: dream ring.. ok if I had a million dollars to spend....I''m posting a picture of it (5.5 c asscher made by cartier). Since that is not going to happen..... I have told my boyfriend I want Reena''s ring (leon''s work). I find the pave around makes the center stone look bigger. My center is going to need all the help it can get

.

Twinkle: Well both. You want him to surprise you with exactly what you want

 

[kanne]

ahhhhhhh! That''s too scary. I pulled that picture from another thread and labeled it "lovethisonebest" literally five seconds before you posted it! It is absolutely breathtaking. YES YES YES!

 

[njc]

Date: 12/2/2004 1:50:34 PM
Author: twinkletoes

But you know what I hate? I''ve gone into jewelry stores on my own to browse at rings and because I''m there alone no one takes me seriously. The sales people act annoyed like I''m wasting their time and they don''t bother to tell me about a piece I''m interested in. Ugh.

I went ring shopping a couple times without my b/f too and i got the same reactions most of the time. There was one store that i went into where the salesperson took all the time in the world with me and wrote everything down... they even went as far as showing me diamonds and picking ones i liked out. But everyone made me feel like i was an idiot for being there by myself.

 

[allycat0303]

Lovey: Great taste! I LOVE this ring. I also love the one on leon''s website. The huge asscher with the three sided pave. And that one looks like it has some detailing under the stone

Its SO amazing.

 

[kanne]

blueroses- I can sympathize. And I understand about not having the idyllic story...but it will be YOUR story. That''s what will make it wonderful and unique. And who knows...he may sweep you off your feet. Or maybe 5 years from now you''ll ask him for the dishwashing liquid and he''ll say...oh blueroses, I''m so sorry that I tortured you with my stinky proposal..so screw the dishes, we''re going to Paris!! And you will have the most fabulous time. It could happen!!

If it sounds like I am rambling it''s becuase I am BLINDED by the Cartier Asscher BLING!!! Help!

 

[Erin]

Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet? Well, I was crazy drunk in a bar with my girlfriends when your Daddy started checking out my behind so I slipped him my phone number and he didn''t call me for about 6 weeks.......

Daddy, how did you propose? Well, your mother kept dropping hints, dragging me into jewelry stores and sending me emails of diamonds rings off the internet - after about 2 years of this your mother went wacko saying her name had been on some internet ''list'' longer than anyone else so she gave me an ultimatum and she went out and bought her dream e-ring and she told me to propose so I did.

 

[njc]

rotfl... too funny erin!

 

[KimberJEB]

Erin - LOL at that. OMG that is so funny. I have wondered if that will be my proposal...I picked out the stone I want, setting I want, everything. But I SWEAR I am going to draw the line at clicking that ONE button on the webpage. Not doing it, but OH the temptation!!! LOL

 

[blueroses]

Lovey, thank you for making me smile...you are right, it will be our story no matter what....and that dishwashing scenario (stinky proposal, lol) is wonderful!

Erin, that is hysterical. It''s true though!! The list is leverage!

That Cartier Asscher is so beautiful it hurts. HURTS!

 

[dommie]

Hi
Congratulations! Did you get a chance to take any pics of your ring?? I wuld love to see them!!

 

[MelissaSue]

Hey girls! I can hardly keep up with this thread anymore.. I cant believe you already have 13 pages in the NEW thread. I just wanted to drop in and give you girls a little bit of encouragement.

When I think about how crazy I was before my fiance proposed I can''t even believe it, literally, because now (even though I waited months and months past when I thought I was supposed to).. it is seriously like it never even happened.. All the crying and fighting and wondering when.. is really just a distant memory. as it all will be for you too soon!!! I''ve been engaged for over a month.. I can''t even BELIEVE it. If you can make it through the wait for the ring, you can make it through ANYTHING. I''m suprised my fiance didn''t just break up with me instead of proposing, as I was such a brat sometimes.. But.. he didn''t.. because he''s wonderful. As are all your future-fiances as well, I''m sure. The time will go by quickly and soon it will all be a memory.

Melissa

 

[blueroses]

Thanks MelissaSue Nice to have some reassurance from one of our "graduates" on the other side!!!

What did you decide to do about your dress?

 

[kanne]

blueroses-

I''m curious..which settings are your favorites for the square cut/asscher? Did you see ivanadiamond''s e-ring. so nice! That Ritani looks very elegant.

lovey

 

[blueroses]

Lovey,

Her ring is GORGEOUS!! Although I thought it was an RB in a Michael B?, but I could very eaily be confused...there is so much lovely bling on this board!!


I posted a bunch of pics of the rings I like (ignore the cushion and oval) back on page 4 of this thread...PM me if you like and I''ll e-mail you a STACK of S.E./Asscher pics

I really love a thin pave border going all the way around the stone AND on the band...like the Daniel K uptown girls (which I *think* is just like the Niceice.com boxter.) But they''re all gorgeous--I just don''t know that I will have a stone big enough to really WOW all by itself without the border? Plus I love that deco look. But the right stone with just the pave band (like the cartier in my wildest dreams!!) would be stunning too....

(If you haven''t checked out Niceice.com, do so...they have lots of gorgeous asscher settings: pave set, pave set w/ border, baguette set, solitaire, etc.)

I guess it would depend on the stone, but my preference now would be a niceice.com boxter (aka Daniel K uptown girls), OR an asscher set in the Ritani endless love....I can''t let go of that border/basket look just yet! I haven''t seen either on me, so I''m just not sure.

 

[blueroses]

p.s. Lovey....your stone is en route, right? Do you know anything about the specs?

Exciting!!

 

[kanne]

thanks!! I''ll shoot you a PM tomorrow, since I''m leaving work now.

The update is there are 2 stones for his viewing pleasure!! Think they are both square emerald in the 1.5 range. Don''t know much else about the specs yet... I have been banned from the actual diamond viewing and won''t see it until it is set... But I get to pick the setting.

You are probably right.. that''s a Michael B not a Ritani (Ivana). I get confused too!! I will check out the daniel k settings.. I think I may be in love with leon mege... bye!

 

[kanne]

ohmygosh.. blueroses..I just looked at the boxster (insert pool of drool here)!!!!!!!!! You are so right.. another gorgeous design. bye again!!

 

[blueroses]

Lovey, I''ll catch you tomorrow! And check out tv77''s new thread w/ her new Asscher e-ring!!