The All New Ladies-In-Waiting Club!

[blueroses]

Welcome to the new ladies-in-waiting!!

And Stacy, you should indeed EMBRACE THE B L I N G

You both deserve it.

Happy Thanksgiving week to all....keep us posted

No news here...yet. I''m pretty convinced that bf didn''t choose a stone or setting last week and is still seeing what''s out there. *sigh* Someday!!

(I think there''s a pic of us buried on page 2 or 3 of this thread?)

 

[MelissaSue]

Tybee- That first dress you posted is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!! Who makes it? I want to try it on! I also think I might actually go to (Yikes!) Davids Bridal and try on some of their Galina gowns. I want to try on some of the slinky little gowns just to see how I feel about them. I still love my Forever Yours gown though. its so pretty, and very me. I Have NO wedding plans done. My finace was supposed to book our church........ I think last wednesday and he hasn''t done it yet. Thats the only responsibilty I gave him, because I haven''t been to church since I was in high school with the exception of my nieces christening, and he goes every sunday, so I thought he should do that part. But he''s lazy and won''t do it. Good thing its his ONLY responsibility or I don''t think I''d be able to pull off a wedding.

Can I put my bio too? Even though I''m no longer a lady in waiting?

I am Melissa, 23 y/o, grad student/waitress/bra seller
He is Jeff, 22 y/o, in his 5th year of undergrad, he''ll have a B.A. in liberal arts.

We met the summer after I graduated from high school when we worked together. I thought he was a dumbass kid (cuz he was.. He was 16 and about to be a senior in high school) Oh my gosh, when I think about how he was then, it doesn''t even seem like the same person. We didn''t like each other much. A year later though, we both went back to our summer job. I had been away at school for a year, and he had just grown up aparently. By the end of the second summer, I had a giant crush on him.... but of course I never said anything. I remember leaving on our last day of work and being so so sad becuase I didn''t know if I''d ever see him again. And I didn''t.. well not for a long time. We didn''t work together the next summer and kept in touch sporadically on IM. Finally, right after I went back to school my JUNIOR year we started talking on Instant Messenger EVERY day. It was fairly obvious that we liked each other, but of course I convinced myself that he didn''t like me at all.We said that we were gonna get together when we both came home for thanksgiving break. It was supposed to be not like a date, a a girl we used to work with was supposed to come out with us. Well she stood us up, but I had a friend staying with me from out of town, so I brought my friend with me. Honestly, if she WASN''T there, I wouldn''t have called him.. so its good that she was. We ALMOST kissed that night, but it didn''t happen.. we both got scared or something.. we said we would see each other again when we came home again.. And then we went back to school.. and I hardly heard from him at ALL in the 3 weeks from thanksgiving break til I went home for christmas. THe night before i knew he was coming home for christmas break.. , i was completely convinced that he hated me and never wanted to see me again, but I IMed him and left my phone number and told him to call me if he wanted to do something. I figured it was just a last ditch effort.. but.. like.. TWO days after that, before I was done with school, just home for the weekend, he called me and asked me to go to a christmas party with him. I couldn''t go.. but we said we would do something right after christmas.. well.. on CHRISTMAS.. we got a lovely buffalo snow storm, and everyone was trapped in thier houses until like 5 days after christmas.. and of course he didn''t bother to call me while we were trapped in our houses, because he thought it was siilly if we couln''t go do anything.. Well our first date was Dec 30th, 2001. He did finally call and we did finally go out.. and YAY!

And we got engaged October 20th 2004!

 

[njc]

Date: 11/23/2004 10:38:28 PM
Author: KimberJEB
We actually talked about it AGAIN tonight, and he swears he will try to make some progress, especially if I will give him some ideas and suggestions that he can choose from - he doesn't want to do all the research. So, that's the current plan. We will see what, if anything, happens. Blah.

This is taken from SusiQ's post on page 5 of this thread of an idea of what suggestions and ideas you can give your b/f since he doesnt want to do a lot of research...

"I gave my BF guidelines.... I wanted minimum of VS2 and H and the diamond had to be Ideal cut round (H&A if possible). I gave him table and depth ranges to stay w/in and for size between .75 and .99 ct. I also did not want him to spend more than $4500 (we have quite the mortgage waiting for us.... not to mention purchasing window treatments, some new furniture, a fence... all the expenses that come with a new house) For the setting I wanted a white gold cathedral (size 4.5)- something simple and elegant... sometimes I think guys just are overwhelemed with not knowing were to start and being worried about not understanding what is good and whats not. It worked for me and I think I ended up with what I wanted and Reese still feels like he kinda did it on his own because he was able to narrow it down himself."

I think giving ranges is an excellent idea. It does let the guy pick everything out on their own but get great quality without all the leg work of research. Enhance that with some pictures of setting you like, and wa-la, hopefully a ring soon! I wish i had thought of doing that because my b/f refused to look up anything about diamonds

(but if it was something electronic he would have spent months researching to get the best, doesnt make sense!) and i dont know how much he absorbed when i would talk about what to look for... oh well, ill see how things turned out soon!

 

[goldielocks]

I also gave my bf some suggestions on stones and settings I would like. I gave him ranges for color, clarity, size (believe it or not but he wanted to get me bigger and i insisted smaller, the size he wanted to get me just wasn''t practical for my lifestyle). I wound up doing all the research b/c it''s more of my personality than his. I am an engineer and can be very technical about stuff and he is more laid back. Plus, we live together and I handle the bills and $. Of course I wanted to make sure we were getting the best deal for our money.

I tried sending him links for websites that had useful information about diamonds, but he never really read them. Tired of being frustrated with his lack of progress, I did all the research, I went with him to look at stones and I taught him what to look for, where to shop, etc. In the end, I found the stone online when I was browsing and it jumped out at me. I couldn''t resist telling him and we bought it. I am a little sad that I picked it out myself. But I think he was relieved! And now the rest is up to him.

In the beginning I had this ideal about him doing all the research, picking the perfect ring and totally surprising me. Now that I''ve been such a big part of the process, that idea is out the window. But I''m OK with it. There''s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and making sure you get it, right?

And my bf is the same way about electronics. If he was picking out a new computer or ipod, he would have spent hours online doing research. go figure!

 

[Erin]

Okay - frustrated and looking for some good old fashioned web advice/explanation for my bf''s behavior I came across all you patient ladies in waiting - Add my name to the list!

I''m 29 - he''s 31
Dating 3.5 years
Living together 2.5 years
Purchased ring 7 months ago - it sits in the drawer of the computer desk - no hiding

He''s not trying to be coy and ''throw me off'' he just doesn''t even think about proposing like he wouldn''t even consider it until next summer and I should stop dropping hints.

This ring has almost become a thing of sadness and resentment rather than giddy anticipation.

 

[kit0110]

Erin,

hmm..stop dropping hints, and ask him what is going one in a calm manner.

 

[Erin]

His first explanation is that when we agreed to buy the ring we were not as financially stable as hoped. Therefore, no proposal until the ring is paid for - next May.

We don''t have enough money to fund the entire wedding process right now so what''s the rush.

The more I talk or ask about it - the longer I''ll wait - like it''s being dangled above my head.

To me, it''s not about the money, or the wedding date.
It''s about how I''m made to feel because he has it with no immediate intentions of making the committment.

Does this sound cruel to you or am I too anxious?

 

[icekid]

ok, just finally got through my superfun med school biochem exam and i''m on vacation and i can waste time again!! so here''s
my little bio:

me: 23, never married, medical student
future hubby: 24, never married

we''ve been together for a bit over a year now! we actually met playing beer pong at a mutual friend''s party. and i totally beat him though he does not like to admit it. however, it was a rather alcohol-filled night so the truth is that i just barely remember meeting him! somehow i did give him my phone number and he called me a couple days later and was luckily still very cute when i was sober haha. late he told me that he had been watching me at the party all night (awww!) but thought that i was only 17 because i was hanging out with my brother''s gf who actually was 17 at the time. but eventually i went and talked to him (after i beat him first of course so he already knew who would be in charge!). we have been literally attached at the hip since our first date. it was just RIGHT; i told my mom that i was going to marry him one week after our first date.

fast forward a year, and we''re living together in philadelphia. when we started dating he made me promise that i would not pick a medical school based on him... but little did he know then that he would move to the city where i chose to go to school! so we''re living together happily and everything is going quite well. i am currently trying to direct my bf to what kind of ring i want because he is not letting pick it out so it will be a surprise. but i show him pictures of reena''s ring every other day or so

i''m not sure when the ring will be coming. with the big move and he''s looking for a good job still in a new city, i''m not sure when it will be financially feasible. sooner than later, i hope

fortheloveofdiamonds and allycat- i''m almost canadian haha, born and raised in the border city of buffalo. my family is hockey obsessed too! my younger brother lives in canada actually, near timmins, where he plays hockey and works from time to time. quite the life! so i have two hockey playing brothers, and my sister and i are both figure skaters... it''s a family thing i guess. allycat, i am sooo in love with reena''s ring tooooooooo!

i love this website!

 

[Tybee]

That first dress I posted was from www.watters.com

A good friend of mine purchased a Watters dress for her wedding this past October, and the dress was pretty inexpensive (around 300.00)

I have no idea what the price of that dress is, and I haven''t seen it in person, but I like the style and am hoping that it''s comparably priced.

My friend bought her Watters gown at David''s Bridal--hmmmm, maybe I''ve got to get off the internet and actually go look around!

 

[madarski]

Date: 11/24/2004 11:33:50 AM
Author: Erin
His first explanation is that when we agreed to buy the ring we were not as financially stable as hoped. Therefore, no proposal until the ring is paid for - next May.

We don''t have enough money to fund the entire wedding process right now so what''s the rush.

The more I talk or ask about it - the longer I''ll wait - like it''s being dangled above my head.

To me, it''s not about the money, or the wedding date.
It''s about how I''m made to feel because he has it with no immediate intentions of making the committment.

Does this sound cruel to you or am I too anxious?

Maybe you should explain to him that it isn''t all about finances and the ring. It''s about you being able to express to the world that you get to spend the rest of your life with the man you love. Maybe he''ll warm up to the idea that way.

What doesn''t make sense to me is his line of reasoning. My bf and I aren''t getting engaged until next november because we are not ready financially. But to buy it and THEN say that was a poor decision, so you must wait until we pay it off to wear it, makes absoutely no sense. I''m sorry for you, that must be extremely frustrating.

Did he actually say to you, "the more you talk about it, the longer you''ll wait"? If so, that is very demeaning. It almost sounds as if he''s trying to act as your father. I would not appreciate that kind of behavior.

I don''t think you are too anxious. I don''t think that he should have purchased the ring if he wasn''t ready to take that step. I could see maybe if he was getting a fabulous deal money-wise, and couldn''t let it pass, but would wait to give you the ring when he was ready. But he freely admits it was a poor financial decision.

I know that it isn''t uncommon for us girls to put a lot of pressure on our men to purchase the ring in the first place. Do you think it''s possible that he was feeling pressured, and made the purchase to kind of appease you at the time, and then later decided that he could not make that kind of life decision until he was ready? If that is the case, then I would say that you have to be respectful of that, although he is not communicating that to you clearly, or at all for that matter. He could definately be handling the situation with a little bit more compassion for your feelings.

 

[Erin]

We bought the diamond because it was a fantastic deal - and then had it remounted (and sized of course).
But we knew we were meant to get married years ago - otherwise we would have never moved in together.

I think he feels because I was so involved with the purchase of the ring he wants control over the presentation. The more I hint or drop comments the more he feels pressured to do it on my terms - I understand that.

So you might advise, just sit patiently and quietly. Then he''ll feel at ease and it will have more of a surprise factor.

It''s just that plenty of occassions have came and went - birthdays, anniversaries, yearly rituals, holidays....and I know that neither Christmas nor New Year''s will be the occassion.

How do I let him know that it''s not about the money, or the deliverance of the proposal, the surprise factor, or anything except the committment? I feel unwanted.

It''s a sad topic with my family - they don''t even ask anymore. It''s like there was this period of time when it should have occured but it''s past the threshold and now everyone''s anticipation is on the decline.

 

[allycat0303]

Erin,

HUGS! No that doesn''t sound very nice. I find it mean (you are not overreacting and being anxious) Maybe you could explain to him that getting engaged doesn''t mean you have to get married right away. You can wait until your finacially stable to start planning the wedding. I mean he bought the ring, whether or not its paid for yet, doesn''t change the fact that it is in your possession and he could give it you.

Good Luck!

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

It''s just that plenty of occassions have came and went - birthdays, anniversaries, yearly rituals, holidays....and I know that neither Christmas nor New Year''s will be the occassion.

How do I let him know that it''s not about the money, or the deliverance of the proposal, the surprise factor, or anything except the committment? I feel unwanted.

It''s a sad topic with my family - they don''t even ask anymore. It''s like there was this period of time when it should have occured but it''s past the threshold and now everyone''s anticipation is on the decline.

Erin,

I am so sorry to hear that you feel unwanted, because no one should have to feel this way. However, I don''t think that you are unwanted at all.

You boyfriend loves you and even though there is no ring on your finger doesn''t mean that he is not committed to his relationship with you. A ring is an outward - physical symbol of his commitment to you; however, it does not mean that since he hasn''t given it to you *yet* that you are unwanted. You don''t really need a ring from him to know you are wanted do you?

It seems as though your family has put undue pressure on him and you to press on to the next stage. You shouldn''t bother yourself with their anticipation... do not let this pressure, and a ring get in the way of your happiness. This is your relationship with him, not theirs. I wish you wouldn''t put so much value on the ring..because, what will have changed once he gives it to you? There are people in this world, for example, Jennifer Lopez or Nikki Hilton (I am using celibrities so you can relate) that have received the *ring* and been *engaged* but was it truly a symbol of undying commitment.. Nope it didn''t last did it... and you are probably saying to yourself that well these are celebrities, but you know...it happens to Tom, Dick and Harry everyday too......You already know that he wants to marry you....so don''t put so much value on this symbol...you are making yourself miserable...

 

[Erin]

Ally

Thanks for helping me feel less like an over-anxious gf with a one-tracked mind!!!!

 

[allycat0303]

Erin,

No problem. How can you be an over-anxious, one track girlfriend? The ring is sitting right in front of you! You have a reason to be thinking of the proposal. I would have proposed to myself

 

[Erin]

I found the perfect grooms wedding band and my mother will be bringing it to Thanksgiving tomorrow - she picked it up from the jeweler for me.

I''ve considered proposing to him

 

[goldengirl]

Whew, trying hard to keep up with this getting-rather-unruly list! I think I'm going to have to pare down the graduates, sorry, ladies!

Okay, my quick bio:

Me: 21, licensed massage therapist, also working as real estate assistant, would like to go back to school and get a "real" education.
Him: 21, student, works retail.
Met: August 2003 via Yahoo personals, sent a couple emails and met for first date September 7th, 2003. Amazing fluid conversation, he was smart, funny, good-hearted, had goals and was reliable. He intruiged me. Still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Moved in September 7th, 2004. Anticipating a September 2005 wedding. (goody goody!!

)


gingerBcookie
goldengirl
1215n
tlmd
njc
LaurenThePartier
jenwill
palmbaybabe
denverkat
yanekie25
psuheather
twinkletoes
ootthibo
pokerface
blueroses
madarski
VAgal13
Brocksgirl24
allycat0303
dietvanillacoke
aeli
Morticia
icekid
LuvthatSparkle
Kberly
KimberJEB
kit0110
allycat0303
Queenofhearts
susiQ
Dodger Gurl
honeynut
stacy11101
goldielocks
Erin
Dani


Whew, I think that's everybody!!

 

[jenwill]

Erin- Big hugs to you! I can only imagine how frustrating it must be, to be in your shoes right now. I think probably a ''zip-it'' rule is in order, because the more you mention it, probably the more stubborn he will be about waiting to make it ''his'' decision. And while I can totally understand thinking about proposing yourself, that might only make him feel like the entire process is out of his hands- and while it is unfair that the entire process is out of your hands, reversing the tables isn''t the answer either. Just in my opinion. I would perhaps tell him, before you officially start the zip-it (if you decide to do that), that you are getting sad because the thing that is supposed to represent one of the happiest times of your life is turning into a symbol of sadness and of feeling unwanted. Once you have said that, tell him that you are never going to bring it up again, the ball is in his court, he knows how you feel. And tell him to ge the ring out of the house- puti t in a safe deposit box, keep it at his parents, whatever, but you do not want to see it again until it is presented to you to put on your finger. It is not fair that you have to sit there in the house with it.

It is a tough situation all the way around, and I am sending you strength and willpower vibes to help you get through it.

Kimber- I have actually tried on emerald cuts- as I am looking at step-cuts myself (asscher hopefully). While they do look smaller than similar carat size rounds, then emerald doesnt'' look too bad since the length is there, just hte width is smaller. I actually tried on an emerald that had a length:width ratio of about 1.35, which is slightly fatter and shorter and it looked pretty nice. The ones that were aroudn 1.5 l:w were longer, but a little too skinny. Go try some on, it is pretty interesting to see how they actually look on the finger!

 

[jenwill]

GoldenGirl- you are my hero for being able to keep track of that list....i would have had it all scrambled by now!

Funny- once all the ''graduates were taken out to see how close to the top i am.......

 

[dani13]

Well, you ALMOST have everybody down...
But you can add me to the list girls!

Me: 26, RN, working on master''s in nursing
him: 29, (almost 30!), teacher, aslo in grad school

Our story:
We met at a bar over 2 yrs ago, dated for 6 months very casually, then broke it off for stupid reasons. I think we always liked eachother, but it just wasnt the right time. We remained friends, and started dating again on a more serious level last November. Funny, because I never would have guessed it years ago when we met that I would end up with him. But every moment I spend with him I realize more and more that he is the one for me (ok, enough sappy s***!)

We talk about getting engaged all the time, but being that we are both in school, financially it is somewhat out of reach at this time. But, I know he is saving! Probably will happen some time nect year!

I really dont know exactly what I want, but I looovee cushions and radiants. I am thinking either one of those in a very thin banded pave-like setting. I am OBSESSED! And this place is my only therapy!!!

 

[susiQ]

Heres my bio

Him (Reese)- 26, works for Advertising/Public Relations Firm as an account exectutive/media relations manager
Me- 22,Graduating from Univesity of Florida in December then continuing my education at U North Florida

We met 3 years ago after I had transferred to Florida from Purdue University. He had just moved back to Florida (Jacksonville) from NYC (He had graduated 2 years earlier). I knew some friends of his that were still at UF for grad school. They intruduced us and after 6 months as friends we decided to give things a try. (When I told my older brother (who lives in Seattle) about him, my brother told me he worked with 2 of Reese''s fraternity brothers. Small world!!!)
Anyhow, 2.5 years later and we are building a home together (move in date in January). The ring has been bought and is hidden away somewhere awaiting his special proposal.... can''t wait!!

 

[dani13]

What does your ring look like, Susi??? Do you know??

 

[gingerBcookie]

hi ladies!

Thanks for all the e-ring wishes for this weekend, but I know its not gonna happen. I will be sitting anxiously att he top of the list till porbably at least february

....oh well. Like GG said...more time to waffle on settings. I think I feel a bit calmer since at least I know the ring process is moving fwd and he''s going with me to check styles out, talking to jewelers, etc... you know?

erin - i think what jenwill said

"Big hugs to you! I can only imagine how frustrating it must be, to be in your shoes right now. I think probably a ''zip-it'' rule is in order, because the more you mention it, probably the more stubborn he will be about waiting to make it ''his'' decision. And while I can totally understand thinking about proposing yourself, that might only make him feel like the entire process is out of his hands- and while it is unfair that the entire process is out of your hands, reversing the tables isn''t the answer either. Just in my opinion. I would perhaps tell him, before you officially start the zip-it (if you decide to do that), that you are getting sad because the thing that is supposed to represent one of the happiest times of your life is turning into a symbol of sadness and of feeling unwanted. Once you have said that, tell him that you are never going to bring it up again, the ball is in his court, he knows how you feel.  And tell him to ge the ring out of the house- puti t in a safe deposit box, keep it at his parents, whatever, but you do not want to see it again until it is presented to you to put on your finger. It is not fair that you have to sit there in the house with it."

i couldn''t have said it better.

jenwill - i''ve had tur-duck-en! have you? interesting concept...do they still sell it?

susi-q - so?! what does your ring look like?! if i knew he had the ring...the anticipiation would drive me up the wall!!

gg - great job with the list!! you know what the tradition of the list means right? your bf needs to get his ring-buying-booty in gear!!

 

[tlmd]

Hi All - Since we''ve started a new thread for the ladies in waiting I thought I''d re-post by bio quickly:

Me - 23 (almost 24!) - marketing
Him - 23 - Computer programmer

I graduated from college in May 03 and he graduated in May 04. We''ve been living together since July. We''ve been dating since high school and I''m very impatiently waiting for the ring. We went shopping a few times last month, but he''s avoided the subject ever since. I think he wants it to a surprise from here on out. I''m hoping it happens soon, but all clues from him point at our anniversary in March!! I''m not sure if I can wait that long, but I might not have a choice! Anyways, you won''t see me posting too frequently because I try not to become too addicted to this site. I am always lurking though!

 

[susiQ]

It is .84 RB Ideal cut (just confirmed it is an unbranded H&A) H/VS1 in a 4 prong white gold cathedral setting. size 4.5 (my finger is actually closer to a 4) I got to see it whe we took it in to get things checked out (make sure the diamond matched the GIA report, check the prongs etc) Reese wanted me to come b/c he knew that I have a better idea of what questions to ask. It looks perfect on my finger and I just love its simplicity. I was worried that I would think it was too small, but on my finger it looks just like my friends 1.08 RB on her size 61/2 finger....but now its hidden again and I am waiting! although it hasnt been too hard of a wait b/c I am busy with finishing this semester and getting ready to move into the house....

 

[jenwill]

Yep- you can still get a Tur-duck-en, plus there are recipes if you want to make your own. I think it is funny- I knew about Tur-duck-en for awhile and then John Madden started talking about one. But his is not the real kind- his is a blend of a Turkey with extra chicken legs and duck legs stuck to it.

Yummy!

 

[njc]

Ive never had one, but have seen them on the Food Channel. Here is a website that carries them.

http://www.cajuncrawfishco.com/

And they even have Tur-pork-ens if you dont like duck!

 

[blueroses]

Welcome still to the new ladies....it''s just amazing, I''m still very new and I''m smack in the middle of the list!

Erin, you are NOT ALONE, sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there. I think Jenwill''s advice was dead-on and I agree.

I actually read a few excerpts of what you wrote to my bf and he said, "are you sure that''s not you?" It is so easy to sometimes feel rejected and unwanted with each passing day that the proposal doesn''t happen....but now you have a group of neurotic ring ho''s to lean on!!

 

[gingerBcookie]

LOL...all this turkey talk is making me prematurely hungry!!! I have a HUGE family and we all get together at thanksgiving (~~50ish ppl) and everyone birngs something. One year...i guess the lines of communication got slightly tangled - we had 1 baked ham,1 turducken, 1 cajun fried turkey, 1 smoked turkey, 4 run-of-the-mill oven baked turkeys.

and a partridge in a pear tree.

there was some good eatin'' that year!

 

[Erin]

Thank you all for being such neurotic, supportive, ring ho''s!!! Jenwill, I plan on using your advise - care if I plagerize?

Happy Holidays All