The LIW Small Talk Thread

[Bia]

Date: 7/9/2009 3:46:23 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 3:36:19 PM
Author: Miscka
What kind of drugs/hormones are we talking here?

Also, who puts them up for adoption? Like, they store them somewhere and couples can come and ''adopt'' the embryos? For them to ''bake'' or a surrogate?

Can the kids ever find you? How do you feel about having unknown kids out there?

I totally sound like I am grilling/judging you but I swear I am not! Just curious and nosey

Lupron, Fertinex (Or Similar) and a shot of HCG.

Once the eggs are removed, any eggs beyond the 2-4 necessary are frozen. The parents can keep them frozen for potential future siblings, or opt to adopt them out. Apparently embryo adoption is becoming more popular, which I had no idea.

You can choose an open or closed donation. If you choose closed, the child will have no way of finding you. Parents have no location information about you (however, they do see pictures, obviously) and won''t ever meet me in person. You can also allow the parents to communicate with you indirectly through the egg donor facility, or you can opt to see them physically or even meet the child. It''s up to the donor, and then the parents can agree to the request or they can find a new donor.

I honestly don''t feel like its ''my'' kid out there, yanno? It''s biologically mine, but it''s not really mine. I guess since my mom was adopted I don''t really thing of biology as something that make me connected, if that makes sense. Its who raises you and loves you that is a true parent.

I don''t mind the questions.. I asked myself all the same stuff when I considered doing it.

Sorry Elle, I''m not trying to sound judgmental--I hope I didn''t come across that way

. Just want you to be careful. Although I know you will/are. You sound like you''ve got everything under control.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/9/2009 3:53:13 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/9/2009 3:46:23 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 3:36:19 PM
Author: Miscka
What kind of drugs/hormones are we talking here?

Also, who puts them up for adoption? Like, they store them somewhere and couples can come and ''adopt'' the embryos? For them to ''bake'' or a surrogate?

Can the kids ever find you? How do you feel about having unknown kids out there?

I totally sound like I am grilling/judging you but I swear I am not! Just curious and nosey

Lupron, Fertinex (Or Similar) and a shot of HCG.

Once the eggs are removed, any eggs beyond the 2-4 necessary are frozen. The parents can keep them frozen for potential future siblings, or opt to adopt them out. Apparently embryo adoption is becoming more popular, which I had no idea.

You can choose an open or closed donation. If you choose closed, the child will have no way of finding you. Parents have no location information about you (however, they do see pictures, obviously) and won''t ever meet me in person. You can also allow the parents to communicate with you indirectly through the egg donor facility, or you can opt to see them physically or even meet the child. It''s up to the donor, and then the parents can agree to the request or they can find a new donor.

I honestly don''t feel like its ''my'' kid out there, yanno? It''s biologically mine, but it''s not really mine. I guess since my mom was adopted I don''t really thing of biology as something that make me connected, if that makes sense. Its who raises you and loves you that is a true parent.

I don''t mind the questions.. I asked myself all the same stuff when I considered doing it.

Sorry Elle, I''m not trying to sound judgmental--I hope I didn''t come across that way

. Just want you to be careful. Although I know you will/are. You sound like you''ve got everything under control.

No way baby!

It''s definitely an individual choice with a lot of aspects to consider. It''s not for everyone. There are of course risks.. but they''re minimal... and seriously it would be wonderful to know that I am helping some family have a baby that otherwise could not do so.

 

[vip0802]

Date: 7/9/2009 3:58:06 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 3:53:13 PM

Author: Bia

Date: 7/9/2009 3:46:23 PM

Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 3:36:19 PM

Author: Miscka

What kind of drugs/hormones are we talking here?


Also, who puts them up for adoption? Like, they store them somewhere and couples can come and ''adopt'' the embryos? For them to ''bake'' or a surrogate?


Can the kids ever find you? How do you feel about having unknown kids out there?


I totally sound like I am grilling/judging you but I swear I am not! Just curious and nosey

Lupron, Fertinex (Or Similar) and a shot of HCG.


Once the eggs are removed, any eggs beyond the 2-4 necessary are frozen. The parents can keep them frozen for potential future siblings, or opt to adopt them out. Apparently embryo adoption is becoming more popular, which I had no idea.


You can choose an open or closed donation. If you choose closed, the child will have no way of finding you. Parents have no location information about you (however, they do see pictures, obviously) and won''t ever meet me in person. You can also allow the parents to communicate with you indirectly through the egg donor facility, or you can opt to see them physically or even meet the child. It''s up to the donor, and then the parents can agree to the request or they can find a new donor.


I honestly don''t feel like its ''my'' kid out there, yanno? It''s biologically mine, but it''s not really mine. I guess since my mom was adopted I don''t really thing of biology as something that make me connected, if that makes sense. Its who raises you and loves you that is a true parent.


I don''t mind the questions.. I asked myself all the same stuff when I considered doing it.

Sorry Elle, I''m not trying to sound judgmental--I hope I didn''t come across that way

. Just want you to be careful. Although I know you will/are. You sound like you''ve got everything under control.

No way baby!

It''s definitely an individual choice with a lot of aspects to consider. It''s not for everyone. There are of course risks.. but they''re minimal... and seriously it would be wonderful to know that I am helping some family have a baby that otherwise could not do so.

kudos to you! it sounds like you''ve definitely done your homework and i also think it would be so wonderful to contribute in that way for a family! my GF''s mom and aunt-in-law are adopted and they they feel the same way about not feeling biologically connected either. if you go through with it, would you choose an open or closed donation?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:13:25 PM
Author: vip0802


kudos to you! it sounds like you''ve definitely done your homework and i also think it would be so wonderful to contribute in that way for a family! my GF''s mom and aunt-in-law are adopted and they they feel the same way about not feeling biologically connected either. if you go through with it, would you choose an open or closed donation?

Closed, I would imagine. Unless I or they could think of a good reason why an open donation would be in everyone''s best interest.

Like I said, not my kid, just my DNA.

 

[princesss]

That''s the way I feel, elle, but I don''t know that I could inject myself daily and the idea of finding a lawyer and paying for one ($$$$) is not one that sounds appealing. Is it sad that at this point that''s enough to dissuade me?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:24:44 PM
Author: princesss
That''s the way I feel, elle, but I don''t know that I could inject myself daily and the idea of finding a lawyer and paying for one ($$$$) is not one that sounds appealing. Is it sad that at this point that''s enough to dissuade me?

Any fees associated with your legal or health matters are covered by the prospective parents. They pay for the lawyer that overlooks my contract... I can pick the lawyer.

I work at a law firm... so..easy.

 

[Miscka]

Elle I picture your egg-adopters as Charlotte and Harry, lol. I think it''s really noble of you!

 

[princesss]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:28:09 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 4:24:44 PM
Author: princesss
That''s the way I feel, elle, but I don''t know that I could inject myself daily and the idea of finding a lawyer and paying for one ($$$$) is not one that sounds appealing. Is it sad that at this point that''s enough to dissuade me?

Any fees associated with your legal or health matters are covered by the prospective parents. They pay for the lawyer that overlooks my contract... I can pick the lawyer.

I work at a law firm... so..easy.

That''s good. I actually am interested in this, because I think it''d be really a wonderful thing to help a couple that really wants a child but I never considered it before because...well, because I''m 23 and needle phobic! But it''s something to look into and discuss with BF.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:28:17 PM
Author: Miscka
Elle I picture your egg-adopters as Charlotte and Harry, lol. I think it''s really noble of you!

LOL. Now I will too...

Thanks! I just think its a really cool idea.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:30:28 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 7/9/2009 4:28:09 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 4:24:44 PM
Author: princesss
That''s the way I feel, elle, but I don''t know that I could inject myself daily and the idea of finding a lawyer and paying for one ($$$$) is not one that sounds appealing. Is it sad that at this point that''s enough to dissuade me?

Any fees associated with your legal or health matters are covered by the prospective parents. They pay for the lawyer that overlooks my contract... I can pick the lawyer.

I work at a law firm... so..easy.

That''s good. I actually am interested in this, because I think it''d be really a wonderful thing to help a couple that really wants a child but I never considered it before because...well, because I''m 23 and needle phobic! But it''s something to look into and discuss with BF.

Yeah, they really make it as easy on you as possible. They take care of everything financial, including travel if necessary, and obviously you are compensated quite well beyond them covering doctor visits and such. You have health insurance paid for by them the entire time that you''re going through the process. I know if someone in California wants my eggs, then they pay for my flights, hotel, food for me and my FI to come out there.

I know you can ask a lot of money if you have a defining characteristic that is hard to find, but these parents are already paying SO much to do it, and I''d feel bad charging a premium. Specific ethnic/cultural backgrounds (i.e... my eggs being Jewish), extreme intelligence, height, and sports ability are all desirable qualities and make you more likely to be selected.

Obviously there are risks, although most go smoothly, and there is no correlation between donating an egg and future fertility.

All I can say is, do it for the love, and not the money. I know you''d do it for the right reasons, but just in case anyone else is reading this.

I signed up for this last August, and only recently had interest shown.

 

[Lauren8211]

If I DO end up being selected and going through with this, I plan to document the entire experience, and I will post it on PS for anyone who is interested. That way someone can see the reactions/emotions of a real person going through it.

 

[vip0802]

Date: 7/9/2009 3:47:50 PM
Author: jcarlylew

Date: 7/9/2009 3:39:34 PM

Author: Lilac

vip - Wow, that sounds like a nightmare. I really hope you can get out of there soon and move to a place that will make you happy! (and a place without such incompetent people...)

ditto - those are reasons why Eric and I refuse to buy a house that has an association neighborhood.

i''m sorry, if i want to paint my house pepto pink, and if my neighboor wants to park a boat in their yard, so be it. does it suck? sure. but any purchase over 200K should allow those things.


wow. rant over. sorry gals!

i totally agree! HOA''s can be so nit-picky! i mean is it really that awful when someone let''s their grass grow an extra inch over everyone else''s? my parent''s house was in a neighborhood with no association and it was awesome. granted, mostly everyone in the neighborhood was good about maintaining the general aesthetics of their homes so thankfully, there wasn''t really a need for one. although nowadays, finding a neighborhood without a HOA is hard to come by around my area. BF and i would love to find a townhouse or single-family home without an HOA but, if found a house we really liked, we wouldn''t mind an association as long as they weren''t as incompetent as the people that run our condo''s.

Lilac, elledizzy5 - thanks ladies, i really appreciate it. to top it off, BF says he doesn''t want to propose while living here. he feels like we would attach the memory of the proposal with this place and he doesn''t want that. he said he''d rather do it in our new house so it''ll feel more like an official start to the rest of our lives. although, he said this a while ago before we got the condo appraised so who knows how long it''ll take before we move out of here. i know a proposal will happen between us, but now i feel like i have no sense of a timeline of when it''ll happen.

 

[Dreamgirl]

YIKES! I go to a meeting and missed so much!

 

[misskitty]

Date: 7/9/2009 5:32:59 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
YIKES! I go to a meeting and missed so much!

Ditto this! Very interesting small talk today.

 

[vip0802]

Date: 7/9/2009 4:37:45 PM
Author: elledizzy5
If I DO end up being selected and going through with this, I plan to document the entire experience, and I will post it on PS for anyone who is interested. That way someone can see the reactions/emotions of a real person going through it.

yes, please do! i think it''ll be really informative and i just find the whole thing really fascinating!

 

[misskitty]

elle, can I ask how you got connected to the egg thing? Like, is there a certain organization, or what?

 

[Lauren8211]

I''m going through The Stork Society

They have an office right here where I live, and they have some throughout the US.

There are a lot of different places that do it.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Wait. I can't go back and read everything so sorry for this but elle- you are going to become a surrogate?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:12:45 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Wait. I can''t go back and read everything so sorry for this but elle- you are going to become a surrogate?

Ohhhh no no no! Egg donor!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:20:52 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 6:12:45 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Wait. I can''t go back and read everything so sorry for this but elle- you are going to become a surrogate?

Ohhhh no no no! Egg donor!

oh ok! lol

I just didn''t have time to read all that I missed. That is very sweet of you elle

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:20:52 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 6:12:45 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Wait. I can''t go back and read everything so sorry for this but elle- you are going to become a surrogate?

Ohhhh no no no! Egg donor!

why did i picture you with wide eyes of fear? lol - i mean it in a good way. Like when someone says the word "baby" and looks in my direction, regardless of the conversation i get all sweaty and freaked out. LOL.

 

[vip0802]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:27:36 PM
Author: jcarlylew

Date: 7/9/2009 6:20:52 PM

Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/9/2009 6:12:45 PM

Author: Dreamgirl

Wait. I can''t go back and read everything so sorry for this but elle- you are going to become a surrogate?

Ohhhh no no no! Egg donor!

why did i picture you with wide eyes of fear? lol - i mean it in a good way. Like when someone says the word ''baby'' and looks in my direction, regardless of the conversation i get all sweaty and freaked out. LOL.

LOL! ditto!

 

[Lilac]

Me too! I want to have several babies one day, but right now if someone suggests that I am pregnant or asks if I am I get all nervous and scared.

 

[jcarlylew]

i will say, however, eric talked about it today, and i did not result in a panic attack.

 

[Jessie702]

IF C and i have kids, it will be one or two, but it wont be for awhile, im still in school and still focusing and working on a acting career, so kids would complicate that for me.

 

[bobbin]

Good morning!

Elle, I think that it is awesome to donate eggs. I don''t think I could do it, I am absolutely paranoid about not being able to have kids and I wouldn''t want to do anything in relation to fertility until after children. No evidence to back that up though, except for a few times when SO and I haven''t been as ''careful'' as we should be and no baby afterwards. I also think that we do not have facilities to do that in Australia, except through private agreement maybe? We definitely can''t get paid for it.

Jcarlylew - I am from Adelaide, Australia.

I am so unmotivated today. I don''t have a job at the moment. I am starting a post-grad course next week and then a placement the week after for seven weeks full time, unpaid. So this week I have been sleeping in and not doing anything all day.

Oh and I weighed myself today and found that I had gained 5.5kgs since the end of last year. So I am now 12kgs over my ideal weight. What a fun day.

 

[ksluice]

Good morning Ladies!!!

I feel like I missed so much yesterday! Wow, Elle, that is awesome. I''m in my later 30''s, so to baby or not may be a choice out of my hands--although women on both sides of my family conceived into their 40s with trouble free preganancies/births, so I refuse to get concerned until there is a problem. That said, the idea that someone like you is out there providing alternative if conception is a no go is just wonderful!!

HOA''s do suck! I live in a very controlling one at the moment-and while they make me bristle with all the rules, I have to admit, the neighborhood is pretty. One of my neighbors always talks about how he could have afforded to buy in one of A2''s very posh neighborhoods, but he could never have afforded the landscaping. LOL.

News from this side of the monitor is this...I turned in my dissertation yesterday!!!! (Can I get a WOOT!?) I still have the defense which occurs in two weeks and then I have to make any required changes and make the final submission, but its like an elephant just got off my back! I know this will only last a couple of days, but I don''t care. So relaxed this morning.

Princesss, I also signed a lease for the place in Charlotte yesterday. I think its all official this time! I don''t know if your close to it, but maybe we could meet up for a breakfast at Zada Janes one day? (I was told during my interview that ZJ''s is good hangout...?

I take the kitty in a couple of hours to have her lump checked out. Dust me (or rather her) please that its nothing at all (if i had a fingers-crossed emo i''d insert it here

 

[Lilac]

Good morning everyone!

bobbin - I totally agree about the fertility thing. I''m always so paranoid about that - I''ve had dreams where I''ve been told I can''t have children and dreams where I have problems conceiving and I even mentioned it to my doctor once because I was so scared about it.

Topo - Congrats on turning in your dissertation! You must feel so relieved (at least for the next few days). And *dust* for your kitty!

 

[Lauren8211]

Good Morning everyone!!! Happy Friday!!!

Yeah, I''m pretty excited about the egg donor thing. I have to wait and see if the interested family picks me as their donor!

 

[CNOS128]

Is it creepy that all this egg donor talk makes me want eggs for breakfast? Yeah, probably creepy. Probably shouldn''t have posted that...


Morning, ladies! Happy Friday.