The LIW Small Talk Thread

[calibali]

Oooo, exciting about the ring! Did you get a tracking number or are they just sending it back without notifying you?

Your FI sounds fairly interested in the process. I don't imagine a lot of guys are sitting online looking at venues and flowers on their own. I like the system you guys use - at least your FI has some opinions. Mine honestly just says that I should pick what I like and what will make me happy. I sit here weighing the pros and cons of each, looking at different prices, etc. and he just says either is fine *shrug*.

You're exactly right - you only get to plan this once and that is why I want it to be perfect. What is next on your list of planning activities?

 

[TooPatient]

Still catching up on being gone for awhile. Just sort of skimmed so far and need to go back to really catch up but just wanted to say OMG ---- BG!!!!!!!! Do you realize that if we're able to get the winery booked we'll have the same wedding day??? -- on Jessie's b-day!!!!!


Sorry.... A little excited here.
I don't really have many women IRL that I talk with and those that I do aren't really into weddings and stuff so.... YAY!

 

[TooPatient]

Cali -- your pictures in BIW are beatiful. I don't think you can go wrong with any of those choices.

 

[calibali]

Welcome back Too! That's so crazy that you and BG could have the same wedding day - on Jessie's b-day to boot! What are the odds...

From the few people we've told that we're eloping, I've picked up that most people aren't too interested in a wedding no one will be attending. That's why I'm so glad I found PS - it's still important to me and I want to bounce ideas off people! I'm glad that you have the same view, it's so fun to get feedback on wedding ideas.

And thanks for chiming in about my wedding. I'm still not sure which way to go, but I need to decide soon.

So what's been going on with you? We missed you around here!

 

[TooPatient]

Welcome back Too! That's so crazy that you and BG could have the same wedding day - on Jessie's b-day to boot! What are the odds...

From the few people we've told that we're eloping, I've picked up that most people aren't too interested in a wedding no one will be attending. That's why I'm so glad I found PS - it's still important to me and I want to bounce ideas off people! I'm glad that you have the same view, it's so fun to get feedback on wedding ideas.

And thanks for chiming in about my wedding. I'm still not sure which way to go, but I need to decide soon.

So what's been going on with you? We missed you around here!

Your wedding will be wonderful! Post lots

I've never really fit well with "people my own age" so I don't really have many (any...) friends from HS. This is just my 2nd quarter on campus at college (1st was only 6 weeks and too fast paced to really get to talk) so I don't even know many people there. 70% of my class is guys and of the girls (and yeah... I mean 17 - 20 year old, giggling, pink hearts girls) in class I haven't really found anything in common with them. (this was only the 2nd day but.... well.... sometimes you can just tell -- I've got a wedding, mortgage, work, etc. to deal with and they're biggest concern is which friend to sell their fake id to when they turn 21 and which Disney princess they want to dress as for Halloween...modified into a stripper-princess)


My family's idea of a great wedding was in my grandparents' back yard at the annual "Fish Feed" (potluck neighborhood/friend thing where grandpa deep frys fish/onion-rings/mushrooms) (I mean... sweet that they got excited and want to help but.... not what I picture)


I got hit hard with the flu last Monday at about 4:30am. Felt okay before that and then spent 1 1/2 hours curled on a big towl next to the toilet because if I tried to move I got sick and since I'd just be running back again before I made it to the bed.... well....
Stayed sick all last week -- still not feeling well. Was pretty bad again yesterday.

FI was tired and felt a bit sick that same Monday but went to work.... then called me after about 3 hours to come get him because he was really sick.

So I spent the week massively sick with a sick FI, still having to cook (whatever light thing we could manage) --- and if that wasn't miserable enough, Millie (our baby puppy) had/has giardia so she was making icky messes all over (even with going outside every 2 hours) that had to be cleaned up and the floors bleached each time to keep the other animals or us from getting giardia.

Friday-Saturday was Yom Kippur so that added to the fun. Luckily we were beginning to recover, but it was a pretty miserable experience.

OOoooohhh! and Wednesday last week (while still sick) we had to clean everything out of the garage because our airplane parts got delivered!!!



Sorry.... that seems sooooo long. It's been an interesting week.

 

[TooPatient]

I missed you all too!!

I kept wondering what all of you ladies were doing and tried to come check a couple of times but.... well.... kind of hard to type a reply when every couple of minutes you've got to run for the nearest bathroom

 

[TooPatient]

Millie is recovering from her Giardia. I'm not sure if it is all gone yet but she's feeling a lot better. She goes to the vet again on Thursday for another check-up and 2nd round of shots.

She started at 6.2 pounds and is (as of day before yesterday) 9.8 pounds.
Sentra (our 70 pound dog) has started playing with her finally (super careful supervision and in short doses). Sven (25 pound Mainecoon) likes to play with her too -- he'll let Millie climb on him and then they'll wrestle together. Super cute but very hard to get a clear picture.

 

[TooPatient]

The airplane parts were delivered by a great trucking company that moves airplanes/parts for some well known companies. The overall length of the truck is 70 feet (cab + trailer).

Made a pretty impressive sight backing (yes --- backing) around the corner to park in our cul-de-sac. The driver made it in one try (wow!) and even managed to keep to one side to allow neighbors to get by (well... except those who had a driveway blocked)


ETA: Added picture of FI and trucker moving one of the wings. (FI is the guy walking backwards out of the truck)
There were 2 wings plus a bunch of other things so it pretty much fills our garage.

 

[beezygal]

Cali: When my ring is here at the store, the guy will call me. I keep on staring at my phone today, waiting for it to ring. SILLY! Yesterday was the 10th business day. It should be done. Let's say, Tacori fedex the ring out today, I should get it tomorrow? YEAH!!! My FI took tomorrow off. He has too many OT hours. I hope the ring arrives tomorrow so we can pick it up together. About the wedding planning, I just don't want to decide everything myself. My FI always ask "do you like it? as long as you like it, i'm good." However, I want him to like the stuff I pick too. I'm like "it's YOUR wedding too... even though it's all about me." Next thing I should plan is the reception.

Too: OMG! Aug 21, 2011 IS A GOOD DAY! I guess I didn't need a random Chinese guy to tell me. Is it a confirmed date for you guys? I'm glad you and your dog are feeling better.

I am so happy I have you ladies on PS. I can't really talk about wedding stuff with my friends. Most of them are single. Some have never dated. I don't want to keep on talking about wedding stuff to them. It might not be good, you know. You guys are different. That's why I love you guys so much... and my FI knows it too.

BTW, I was reading a very good story yesterday. It's about relationship/marriage. You guys should read it when you have time. I hope the link works.http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=407640990562&id=743662869&ref=mf I'm going to read it to my FI tonight

 

[TooPatient]

90% on that date. We need to book the winery (need to talk to FI today and see if we can just give them the deposit and hope for the best budget-wise --- not as crazy as it sounds, if it came to it we could cut the guest list) and confirm with rabbi (not necessarily that order).

Things are only tricky about the date because it is bar/bat mitzvah season and EVERY Saturday has one.... usually followed by a big party on Sunday. So we're trying to avoid stepping on toes (since they've had the dates picked for awhile already and CAN'T change them), not cause mutual friends to have to choose this one or that one to go to, etc...
FI and I had a bit of an arguement over this one because I'm willing to do as much as we can reasonably to avoid conflict, but in the end we aren't that close with the kid's family and our friends know all of the other kids too. So unless we shift to late October or further we're GOING to have this problem.... FI thinks we should consider October/November (to avoid this problem -- "we don't have to have it outdoors anyway", then we wouldn't have to worry about bar/bat mitzvah, it would be after bonus time so we'd have an easier time budget-wise) and I'm dead set against it (there are 2 other dates in August I'd CONSIDER but I really want an outdoor wedding -- beyond that, the winery is in a gorgeous location and I don't want it to be cold/rainy/cloudy so people can't enjoy the views/hiking/etc, it would fall in the middle of my school quarter (so I'd only begin to consider if I took the quarter off), our friends with kids would have school to deal with and a 2-3 hour drive late Sunday night to get home for school in the morning isn't convenient for them)

 

[TooPatient]

Gah!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I need a FB account...


BG -- your link wants me to log in to FB in order to see it

 

[calibali]

Wowsa, I can see why you haven't been around. I'm glad you're starting to feel better, the flu is the worst since you can't do anything when you have it.

That's great that Millie is starting to feel better too. Looks like she's doing very well with your other dogs, which must be such a relief. The pics you posted show her playing with your other pups more than my dogs play together - and they've been together for 2 years. But mine don't do much more than sleep...

Quite a difference between a fish feed and a winery wedding. I think you made the right choice.

When do you find out if you can go for the winery? Do you have a tentative reservation or anything? You sound so excited when you talk about it, so I'd hate for you to lose it!

In regards to meeting people you can connect with, trust me - it's not easy for anyone. I've moved around a lot since college and I can definitely relate to how you feel. I also did not stay in touch with anyone from HS since I had nothing in common with the people there (I was quite ambitious and I went to an awful slacker school). I just try to be friendly and not judge people when I meet them, and so far I've already met a few pretty cool people. Obviously I don't know them very well yet since I've only been here a couple weeks, but you just never know who you might like... Can you meet some people at your FI's company activities? I would imagine there would be some good spouses/SOs there. Maybe?

 

[beezygal]

try this:
http://www.blackplanet.com/your_pag...=542292&profile_id=56456286&section=Right_Now

 

[TooPatient]

try this:
http://www.blackplanet.com/your_pag...=542292&profile_id=56456286&section=Right_Now

That is so good.... Gah... tears...


What a great story.

 

[TooPatient]

Wowsa, I can see why you haven't been around. I'm glad you're starting to feel better, the flu is the worst since you can't do anything when you have it.

That's great that Millie is starting to feel better too. Looks like she's doing very well with your other dogs, which must be such a relief. The pics you posted show her playing with your other pups more than my dogs play together - and they've been together for 2 years. But mine don't do much more than sleep...

Quite a difference between a fish feed and a winery wedding. I think you made the right choice.

When do you find out if you can go for the winery? Do you have a tentative reservation or anything? You sound so excited when you talk about it, so I'd hate for you to lose it!

In regards to meeting people you can connect with, trust me - it's not easy for anyone. I've moved around a lot since college and I can definitely relate to how you feel. I also did not stay in touch with anyone from HS since I had nothing in common with the people there (I was quite ambitious and I went to an awful slacker school). I just try to be friendly and not judge people when I meet them, and so far I've already met a few pretty cool people. Obviously I don't know them very well yet since I've only been here a couple weeks, but you just never know who you might like... Can you meet some people at your FI's company activities? I would imagine there would be some good spouses/SOs there. Maybe?

We're still debating. With the current guest count we could have trouble affording it if a couple of things don't work out just right. I need to talk to FI about the possibility of being able to cut the guest list if we have to and see if we can put the deposit down. We're also still in some disagreement over the date stuff (I need to talk to a couple of people and then I think he'll be okay with our original date).

In order to reserve the day they require a $2800 deposit so we need to be sure we can make it work before we send the money.


There haven't been any family events at the company this year. They had done an annual picnic but with thousands of people there you don't really get a chance to connect. Even the usual group family things (closer to 100-200 people) didn't happen this year.....
(You don't want me to get started on that one. I was more than a tad annoyed that they got rid of the group family thing in favor of having a bigger & better "employees only" thing)

We've been going to a group dinner thing recently with a bunch of families in our area. Lots of fun and we're getting to know people that way. We've got a holiday dinner thing this Sunday too.
Also joined a couple of clubs and are getting more involved with them.

 

[beezygal]

OMG! I just talked to my FI on the phone. He was talking to his parents about our wedding yesterday night. His mom is not going to invite anyone, but his dad might. My FI told me that his mom asked "why the rush to get married?" and something like if we're getting married because MY DAD wants us to. I'm like WTH???? Why would she thinks that? She also think 5 tables (50ppl) is too many tables. We didn't tell her about the 10 tables in HK. She also asked if we want to rent out THEIR basement because it's cheaper than renting an apt in downtown. OMG! My FI doesn't want to of course. He can't really stand his mom. I'm kinda upset about what his mom said. It's not a rush. We've been together for more than 6 years. We're getting married in a year. It's now like we're getting married in a month. Why would she think my dad wants us to get married, that's why we're getting married. Then, my FI said "hey... she also thought you were supposed to get me an engagement ring." TRUE. Nothing can surprise me now.

 

[TooPatient]

OMG! I just talked to my FI on the phone. He was talking to his parents about our wedding yesterday night. His mom is not going to invite anyone, but his dad might. My FI told me that his mom asked "why the rush to get married?" and something like if we're getting married because MY DAD wants us to. I'm like WTH???? Why would she thinks that? She also think 5 tables (50ppl) is too many tables. We didn't tell her about the 10 tables in HK. She also asked if we want to rent out THEIR basement because it's cheaper than renting an apt in downtown. OMG! My FI doesn't want to of course. He can't really stand his mom. I'm kinda upset about what his mom said. It's not a rush. We've been together for more than 6 years. We're getting married in a year. It's now like we're getting married in a month. Why would she think my dad wants us to get married, that's why we're getting married. Then, my FI said "hey... she also thought you were supposed to get me an engagement ring." TRUE. Nothing can surprise me now.

Wow.

 

[beezygal]

i know... speechless huh?

My FI said he doesn't know why his mom thinks weird stuff sometimes. His dad has no opinion. His opinion is my FI's mom's opinion.

 

[TooPatient]

i know... speechless huh?

My FI said he doesn't know why his mom thinks weird stuff sometimes. His dad has no opinion. His opinion is my FI's mom's opinion.

Wow.

Sort of funny to read it the first time but I know it is a serious issue so not really funny. Just.... Wow.

How is it that people can think some of this.... and then to actually say it.....

 

[beezygal]

i know... speechless huh?

My FI said he doesn't know why his mom thinks weird stuff sometimes. His dad has no opinion. His opinion is my FI's mom's opinion.

Wow.

Sort of funny to read it the first time but I know it is a serious issue so not really funny. Just.... Wow.

How is it that people can think some of this.... and then to actually say it.....

i know... it sounds funny. I'm like "was she kidding?" My FI was like "no.. she was serious. She was really wondering if we're getting married because of your dad. I don't know why she thinks it's your dad, but not your mom or you."

All i can say is, this wedding will be very interesting!

 

[TooPatient]

Gotta survive the planning first

 

[calibali]

Wow, quite the interesting thoughts your FMIL has. Where the heck does that even come from? And I'm sure you'd love to rent their basement.

I really just don't know what to say... wow

 

[calibali]

Too - I hope you can convince your FI that the date is perfect! The winery would be so lovely... I didn't realize it was so much to reserve a date, so fingers crossed that you guys can get it all worked out.

What kind of clubs did you join? I joined a charity organization here and that is how I've met some people. Bummer about FI's company, though. I get what you're saying about big events, I don't understand why they would get rid of the smaller ones where you can actually get to know people better. Isn't the whole point to bond with others?

 

[Jessie702]

Okay, i leave for like 12 hours, and come back and theres so much to catch up on!

Welcome back too . Its good to see you lady. I completely understand about not being able to talk to anyone in your class. I think i talk to maybe 2 or 3 people out of all of my 4 classes. It gets lonely, but than again i have you ladies! I hope you can convience your FI to get married on my B-day, seems like its the date! Goodness, hopefully if all you ladies start planning for it, it will be lucky for me.

Bg- Wow, i cant believe your FMIL saying" rent out our basement" I would have asked her, if we should order kiddie pizzas while we are at and have a clown, and pin the tail on the MIL

Cali-Im sorry people think because you are eloping it isnt special or dont want to help. Just post all of your stuff here for us, we care!

So the English paper is all done, i just need to go through and do some editing, and submit it by 4. I stayed with my SO last night, and this morning we got up and went and got stuff for breakfast. Than we just hung out at the house, and i napped before class. I was surpised a little because today he works and normally, if is fine if i leave early. O well....eating lunch now.

 

[calibali]

Bg- Wow, i cant believe your FMIL saying" rent out our basement" I would have asked her, if we should order kiddie pizzas while we are at and have a clown, and pin the tail on the MIL

 

[TooPatient]

Too - I hope you can convince your FI that the date is perfect! The winery would be so lovely... I didn't realize it was so much to reserve a date, so fingers crossed that you guys can get it all worked out.

What kind of clubs did you join? I joined a charity organization here and that is how I've met some people. Bummer about FI's company, though. I get what you're saying about big events, I don't understand why they would get rid of the smaller ones where you can actually get to know people better. Isn't the whole point to bond with others?

Oooooh. Which organization did you join (if you don't mind sharing)? I was involved with Kiwanis for a few years and it was wonderful!

There used to be a BIG company picnic -- actually had to happen over 2 days because only 1/2 the company + families could fit the HUGE park at a time. That didn't happen this year.
There also used to be group family picnics -- up to each group to plan if wanted and this year they just didn't do it (still 100-200ish people)
What they kept is the "employee only" stuff (movie days -- watch a movie in a theater before it opens to other people; bbq's; "celebrations" -- bbq, beer tasting, music; etc etc etc) that is still usually big enough that no one can talk really.

Grrrrrrr.


One club is the EAA (experimental aircraft association) and the other is The Software Company Gun Club (so technically FI is the member and I'm allowed to come to meetings -- but they all have to remind each other that they can't talk about stuff when I'm in the room because I'm not an employee (not that they work in the same groups so it isn't like they talk work anyway ) -- and FI can tell me about the stuff they e-mail about during the day (which is LOTS) but I'm not allowed to get the e-mails or even have them forwarded to me because I'm not an employee )

--------- can you tell I'm irritated right now?
I KNOW I'm not an employee but what harm is there in letting me get the e-mails from the club since there is absolutely NO discussion of any sort of work stuff? And if they're going to expect lots of time (including working from home in the evenings AFTER a 9ish hour work day) out of him then why not encourage friendships between the families??? I mean... don't you think it would get upsetting after awhile that the "Employee" goes to all of the movie openings that are at all interesting, to the greatest looking restaurants to eat, bowling, BBQing, tasting beer from around the world, etc etc etc and doesn't include the family ever? Especially when it is "really busy at work" so the "Employee" has to sit at the computer for 12-15 hours each day and go in on the weekend but that same week they can take a full day for a "celebration" that starts with breakfast & coffee, keeps going for bbq lunch, and finishes with a movie???

 

[Jessie702]

Too - I hope you can convince your FI that the date is perfect! The winery would be so lovely... I didn't realize it was so much to reserve a date, so fingers crossed that you guys can get it all worked out.

What kind of clubs did you join? I joined a charity organization here and that is how I've met some people. Bummer about FI's company, though. I get what you're saying about big events, I don't understand why they would get rid of the smaller ones where you can actually get to know people better. Isn't the whole point to bond with others?

Oooooh. Which organization did you join (if you don't mind sharing)? I was involved with Kiwanis for a few years and it was wonderful!

There used to be a BIG company picnic -- actually had to happen over 2 days because only 1/2 the company + families could fit the HUGE park at a time. That didn't happen this year.
There also used to be group family picnics -- up to each group to plan if wanted and this year they just didn't do it (still 100-200ish people)
What they kept is the "employee only" stuff (movie days -- watch a movie in a theater before it opens to other people; bbq's; "celebrations" -- bbq, beer tasting, music; etc etc etc) that is still usually big enough that no one can talk really.

Grrrrrrr.


One club is the EAA (experimental aircraft association) and the other is The Software Company Gun Club (so technically FI is the member and I'm allowed to come to meetings -- but they all have to remind each other that they can't talk about stuff when I'm in the room because I'm not an employee (not that they work in the same groups so it isn't like they talk work anyway ) -- and FI can tell me about the stuff they e-mail about during the day (which is LOTS) but I'm not allowed to get the e-mails or even have them forwarded to me because I'm not an employee )

--------- can you tell I'm irritated right now?
I KNOW I'm not an employee but what harm is there in letting me get the e-mails from the club since there is absolutely NO discussion of any sort of work stuff? And if they're going to expect lots of time (including working from home in the evenings AFTER a 9ish hour work day) out of him then why not encourage friendships between the families??? I mean... don't you think it would get upsetting after awhile that the "Employee" goes to all of the movie openings that are at all interesting, to the greatest looking restaurants to eat, bowling, BBQing, tasting beer from around the world, etc etc etc and doesn't include the family ever? Especially when it is "really busy at work" so the "Employee" has to sit at the computer for 12-15 hours each day and go in on the weekend but that same week they can take a full day for a "celebration" that starts with breakfast & coffee, keeps going for bbq lunch, and finishes with a movie???

I sorry hon, i can tell your frustrated.

 

[TooPatient]

Okay, i leave for like 12 hours, and come back and theres so much to catch up on!

Welcome back too . Its good to see you lady. I completely understand about not being able to talk to anyone in your class. I think i talk to maybe 2 or 3 people out of all of my 4 classes. It gets lonely, but than again i have you ladies! I hope you can convience your FI to get married on my B-day, seems like its the date! Goodness, hopefully if all you ladies start planning for it, it will be lucky for me.

Bg- Wow, i cant believe your FMIL saying" rent out our basement" I would have asked her, if we should order kiddie pizzas while we are at and have a clown, and pin the tail on the MIL

Cali-Im sorry people think because you are eloping it isnt special or dont want to help. Just post all of your stuff here for us, we care!

So the English paper is all done, i just need to go through and do some editing, and submit it by 4. I stayed with my SO last night, and this morning we got up and went and got stuff for breakfast. Than we just hung out at the house, and i napped before class. I was surpised a little because today he works and normally, if is fine if i leave early. O well....eating lunch now.

LOL!!!!!!!

That is funny!


Glad you got your paper done. Those can be tough.

Sounds like a great day together (even if there is work/school to face). How is the moving in going (sorry if you already posted details... my mind is still foggy and I've only had a chance to skim )

 

[Jessie702]

Thanks......

Moving in is going Slow/stopped. As silly as this sounds, im still kind of waiting until engagement.....i keep hoping it is comming by next month.

Im sorry you were ill, i hope you dont get that again. Did you get the flu shot?

 

[TooPatient]

Okay....
I'm calling it a day. I've gotten crabby, feeling sick, and my brain is going on strike. (stupdid flu --- Oh,,, and I can't type straight an ymore)


See you all tomorrow