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The LIW Small Talk Thread

I need to vent. All these times, we are planning to get the matching tacori wb for my ring. Suddenly we were talking about rings and my FI doesn't want to spend another $2-3k on my ring. I want it because it would go with my ring perfectly so that it won't scratch the metal or the diamonds. Also, it would be nice to have a tacori set. He doesn't care. He knew the price all along, now he decided he will not get it. I am very disappointed. Why told me I could have it before and not now. He said I don't even make a lot and I just spend spend spend. Come on, when did I spend spend spend? He said I spend HIS money. Omg. I never did at all. We paid for our dinner in your own. I just for a ring i like because it is forever. Then he went on about how expensive my ering is. Omg. I am very upset. Sometimes I feel that he judges me because i dont make nearly as much as he does. It's not fair. I asked if he would change his mind. He said no. I don't want to keep on talking about it, so i just hurt up and be upset now.
 
Aw I'm sorry BG! That's some horrible things your FI said. :(

It sounds like this came out of nowhere, so maybe he was just feeling a little stressed about the wedding planning/spending and he let some of his anxiety come out on you. I would say back off a little for now and bring it up again when you aren't in the process of buying dresses, booking photographers, etc. I know that when we make multiple large purchases in a short timeframe, FI gets a little annoyed about spending and will make out of character comments about it. However, he eventually reverts back to normal and all is well in the world.

And even if you end up not being able to get the matching ring right away, you could always get it for an anniversary. I know it's not what you planned, but it will all work out. *Hugs*
 
OMG BG- i am so sorry hon. **HUGS** i agree with Cali, and i think he is just stressed between the dress shopping today, and booking toe venue and reception area, im sure he is looking and money and keepings thing OMG.....and i think you even just bringing up another expense was going to put him over the edge. Maybe just lay off talking about your WB's and just stick to planning the wedding. You dont want to scare him, and than he wants to push the date back. Men tend to act werid when it comes to money. Also, i dont think he is judging you because you dont make as much as him. He knew all along you didnt make as mcuh and he is and will be the bread winner. OMG, hon i am so sorry. Just stick to finding a dress and wedding things, just avoid the WB talk with him for awhile and focus on invites or flowers or something.
 
Thanks ladies. I didn't talk about it. Actually, we didn't talk for the whole night. We just watched tv in silent. If I start talking, I am scared I will want to talk about my wb. He doesn't believe in upgrade. So, I either get the tacori wb now or never. I guess he is stressed out. He was saying stuff like he works 12-13 hrs a day and I want a $3k wb. Even though I am very disappointed that he said he won't get it. He knew it was expensive. Before, I was scared he thinks the wb is expensive. I talked to him before many times. He just teased me about how my wb is a lot more than his wb. He usually just laughed it off and make a face. However, I really don't like how he is concerned I don't make as much as he does. I don't think a piano teacher will ever make nearly as much as a lawyer, right? HELLO?!?!? The other night, he was telling me how he has to support me and that is kinda sucks. Then, I got upset and I had to say something. I told him that a husband is supposed to support a family. He can't say he will be supporting me because both of us will be contributing to the family. We talked about it. He will be contributing more because he is a man and he makes more money. Even though, I might not be contributing as much as he will, I will be doing all the cooking, cleaning, caring, and little stuff around the house. I will be taking care of him. That is my major contribution. I am happy to do that no matter what. Since, he had to say that he has to support me because I don't make as much, I need to tell him I am contributing even more to the family. That shuts him up... for awhile intil tonight, I guess. Sorry for the long vent.

Hugssssssssss
 
Its okay BG, this is something you two need to talk about now, instead while your married and than you start to wonder" Is this the man i really married?" I think what confuses me is, why he thinks he supports you now, when you live at home, and work and make your own money. It would be different say if you were like me, out of work, on unemployement and going to school. C does support me, i can admit it, he pays for my car when it breaks down, i just help out on the credit card bill when i can, just like when i can, i will buy food for the house, but other than that, theres not much else i can do, but clean the house, and take care of him, which im happy to do. Along with out dogs, so im a bit confused. You might want to find out if this is something he is going to be bringing up all the time, i know i would get tired of it, if C brought it up all the time.
 
Sorry, maybe I wasn't clear. He meant after we are married, he has to support me. Then, I gave him that speech I told you ladies in last post. He cares about his money so much. I knew that all along. He just think cleaning and cooking are easy to do. :eek: some of my friends are envy that my FI is a lawyer. They think we will be rich because of him being a lawyer. NOPE! They think i will have nice things from him. NOPE! I don't think it makes a difference. It might sound nice that my FI is a lawyer, but no. It's not like he is willing to spend more money because of that. I don't want him to anyways. I like how he manages his money well. Even though he can be very very stubborn when it comes to money. It can be kinda annoying. That's one of his biggest flaws. I still love him because i love him the way he is. My dad is totally the opposite. He will spend money when it is necessary. My FI will try not to spend a penny even though it's necessary. I guess, we grow up differently.
 
***HUGS*** it will be okay hon...no worries, maybe just put the band on the back burner and pay attention to other things. He will cool off and hopefully see it your way.
 
Only time will tell when I take care of the house very nicely. Hope that he will be pleased to have dinner waiting for him every night after his long stressful day at work. I will not bring up the wb now. No point in talking about it now when we aren't going to order our WBS for another 6 months or longer. I will talk about it when he thinks it's time to shop for bands. Plus, this week, he is very stressed out at work and I have pms. Bad time to talk about anything now. Thanks ladies for letting me vent. I should sleep now. Hugs!
 
BG I'm sorry that you guys aren't agreeing on your wb right now. I think you hit the nail on the head about him being stressed at work. I know some guys will snap and take it out on whoever is there or closest to them when they are stressed. It's not fair at all but I think it's a common response. Maybe he's stressed at work and then thinking of all the costs of a wedding (we all know they can be very expensive) is putting pressure on him to spend more than he would like or normally feel comfy. Maybe if you acknowledge to him that you get that he is stressed out he will be ready to talk when he calms down.
 
Thank you ladies for your comfort. Yesterday my FI came over to chill out as always. We are all better, not upset or anything. He suddenly just asked "can you try to find something a cheaper ring? you know we still have to spend a lot on other stuff for the wedding..." He knows I want that wb and he wants me to try. I told him that I have been looking online for alternatives. I explained to him that I just want to find something that matches my e-ring and won't scratch it. Since we don't know how much that Tacori wb really is, I told him I'll find that out first. Maybe it's not that expensive. He told me to do that. I see there are other tacori wb I like for a cheaper price. I'll research to see if they would fit my ering.

Ladies, would you want your e-ring/wb to match? The only reason I want it to match is that I know they will sit next to each other perfectly, without damaging any diamonds/metals. What do you guys think?
 
I'm happy things are better with you guys now BG!

The kind of e-ring I want, I'm not sure it's possible to have a wb that sits flush unless it's custom made. There's a wb that I like but it may not fit flush so I am planning to just wear the e-ring as a RHR after the wedding.
 
BG - I'm glad that things have calmed down with FI. Can you post a link to the matching wedding band? I would love to help you look for other options, but I want to get an idea what that one looks like. I don't think it would be too hard to find another band that wouldn't damage your e-ring setting, so don't lose hope yet!

Are you determined to wear the two bands together? Once we're married, I think on most days I'll wear a stack of eternity bands on my left hand and then my e-ring on the right. Personally, I don't like the look of perfectly matching sets, so that's why I want something different. I might wear an eternity band with the e-ring sometimes too, it just depends how I feel that day. I think that's a little more fun. :)
 
Can you maybe look at having a band custom made? It only cost my best friend $600AUD to have an 18kt whitegold band made to sit perfectly flush against her halo, and they can add diamonds for $400 at a later time (her hubby is going to do it for their one year aniversary).

It was by my jeweller who is excellent, and very reputable, so not cheap and nasty, and it sits perfectly flush.
 
Thanks ladies!

Princess: I told my FI about custom making. He is worried that it might be more expensive than the Tacori one. I actually want a Tacori band because I like how Tacori has a lifetime warranty. I don't need to worry about resizing and loose pave stones FOR LIFE!

Cali: I was looking at the Tacori website. There are LOTS of cheaper wbs. The good thing is they will make the wb according to my e-ring. The bad thing is I need to send my e-ring out for 4-6 weeks for them to make my wb. Anyways. I can live with that I guess. :lol: I found some I like:

This is my e-ring: http://www.tacori.com/Engagement-Rings/2561RD7

This is the band that supposed to go with my e-ring: http://www.tacori.com/Wedding-Rings/2561B1
It's $2340 USD. :eek: This band has diamonds on 3 sides. I don't think it matters because one side will be facing the e-ring anyways. I don't see that side when I'm wearing my rings together. Why pay so much for something I can't see? :lol: Right? I rather have an eternity band.

Other cheaper options:
hthttp://www.tacori.com/Wedding-Rings/4115ET http://74.121.232.111/Wedding-Rings/4315ET
$1460 and $1410. They are very similar. The first one has 0.10 ct more. They are eternity bands! :love: More diamonds with a cheaper price. Why not? :love:

http://www.tacori.com/Wedding-Rings/462ET
$1600. I really like this one. So unique!

http://www.tacori.com/Wedding-Rings/2520
$1350. I don't know about this one. The paves are 3/4 down. My e-ring is 1/2 down. I kinda want it 1/2 down too.

http://www.tacori.com/Wedding-Rings/2526ETML
$1310

Tell me what you ladies think. Btw, I found out that there's a Tacori truckshow in Nov at the store I ordered my e-ring. A rep from Tacori will bring the WHOLE collection of Tacori to showcase. :love: :love: I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow FOR SURE! I need to try some wbs with my e-ring. HURRAY! :love:
 
Hi Girls,
I just got back from my holiday with my partner. We made some serious headway I think.

So glad everything is working out BG.

Been speaking with Perry from Leon Mege re: finding a stone :-D

He says he wants to hold on to it for like 12-18 months from now so thats ok but at least I will have the ring and there will be no stress for either of us!

So so exciting!!!!
 
Mif I'm jealous! I sent bf some links to Leon settings I love. I hope he gets my ring there stone and all. The profile pic is one I love. I like that Leon is here in NY so bf could go in and meet with Perry and Leon re the ring. Leon has such gorgeous stuff!
 
BG -- Glad you both are better! Men can be a bit... :nono: ... when it comes to communicating clearly when they have concerns about money (especially if they're already stressed).
I really liked the 4th gown you posted but none of them really looked like you. (sorry so vague -- they just didn't look like The One you've been talking about)
The 1st eternity ring you posted is beautiful. I like the simplicity of the design and think it would look amazing with your e-ring. I like the 2nd(?) one you posted (with the comment that you really like because it is unique) but I don't know if it would look as nice with your e-ring.
OOoooooo!!!!!! A show in November! That will be a great time to see what looks good with your ring. Can your FI go with?


Jessie -- Sorry you weren't feeling well. Hope you had a relaxing weekend and feel better. How's your party planning?


Cali --- The ribbed look of the dress is a bit distracting. I like the shape of it on you (especially since you're going to do a sweetheart neckline).

Mif --- Glad to see you back! How are you?

AE --- Welcome :wavey:
 
BG - I think this one would like great:

http://www.tacori.com/Wedding-Rings/2526ETML

It looks like the same band as the matching one, just with one row of pave instead of three. I also like that it's an eternity band, so you could wear it by itself if you ever needed to. I don't know about you, but I will not wear my e-ring abroad - too much unwanted attention. If you feel the same way, you would still wear this band when traveling and it wouldn't look like it was a part of a "set."

Hopefully the trunk show will have lots and lots of options for you to try and you can come to a compromise with FI.
 
Adana - are you going to visit Leon anytime soon? I'm going to see him the first week of Dec. to pick out a few eternity bands to wear as my wedding rings, so I hope he's really nice in person.

Mif - that's awesome that you're making progress, you must be so excited that you could have a stone soon. Will your bf really hang on to the ring for over a year, though? I think that would drive me nuts. I was desperate to wear my ring after just a few weeks. :wacko:

Too - thanks for chiming in. I'm so over dresses at the moment, I'm taking a little break. What's new with you? How was your weekend?
 
Eh....
Mixed weekend.

We visited my grandparents (hour drive -- just drove there and back on Friday), played with dogs, caught up on sleep, ate yummy food, made progress on some projects around the house, cleaned, cooked....

Okay... So it was a really nice weekend that only seemed a little Eh.... because of this lousy cold/windy/rainy/dark weather.


How was your weekend?
 
mif: hope you had a great trip. YEAH to finding a stone! GOOD LUCK!

Adana: which setting did you send to your bf? I want to see! :bigsmile:

Too: Yeah. I really like the first one! It's an eternity ring and it still has some details on the side. LOVE THAT! :love: I tried the second one before. I really like the unique look of it. I didn't have my e-ring with me at the time, so I need to try it on with my e-ring for sure!

Cali: The one you like is like the first one I posted. It might be too simple, but definitely a cheaper option. I'm going back to HK for a month in March. As much as I love to show off my e-ring for all my relatives in HK, I don't feel safe doing that. People just don't wear an e-ring there in general, let alone a 1 carat sparkly ring. I don't want to attract too much attention. If I go to places I know are used to seeing sparkly rings, like NY, I will probably wear it. :lol: I should really get a nice wb in case i need to wear it alone. :love:

I just made an appointment with the store. It's on a remembrance day Nov 11. If they only have 1-2 appointments that day, they might just close that day. The guy will call me if that's the case. I really want it to be on Nov 11 because FI has no work and can come with me.
 
Too: Thanks for the welcome.

Cali: not planning to go anytime soon but I may discuss it with bf and see if he wants to go with me. I just want to make sure I really love them in person on me.

BG: the pic that I have up is the one I love. Cushion center, halo and 3 sided pave. I also like the simpler version called "cold fusion" that's still cushion center, halo but only pave on the front, not 3 sided pave. I love them both! K said out of all the rings I've shown him in the past (about 10-12 I think), he thought that one was the nicest. I'm on my phone so I will upload the pics tonight since I'm not sure linking is allowed.
 
So... my FI called earlier. He asked me where I'm going to get my wedding dress. I like how he's so into planning the wedding now. :love: I told him I don't know. He was like "didn't you tell me you really like a dress you tried on with your mom?" I'm like "yes, but it's $850... too much, but I still think it looks better on me than on the model." He's like "maybe you should get it then." I told him I want to spend $500 MAX on a dress. He was shocked....

WEIRD! Just 2 days ago, he freaked out about the wb. Today, he wants me to get the more expensive dress. :lol: MEN!
 
Hey Ladies, got some thing to catch up on but im still with C....weekend was blah.....but ill give more details tommorow...
 
ADana: I love the 3 sided one too. My ring is also 3 sided too. I love how sparkly it is all around. :love:
 
I'm a little worried about the cost of the 3 sided pave but I love it!
 
BG - your FI is nutty. I'm sure he just wants you to be happy and get the best, but I can get how a guy could get overwhelmed with all the jewelry spending after just buying you a gorgeous e-ring. Can you go to any stores before the trunk show to try on some wedding bands? I say, why wait when you can go play with jewelry today. I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun looking at the different combos, actually.

Adana - I don't know if you're aware, but it's likely you won't get to try on the Leon ring you want if you visit his shop. He doesn't have an actual storefront where you can see all the rings he has for sale, so in most cases it really is a leap of faith. I've heard of some people getting to see a few rings, but that might not be of any use.

Too - weekend was good, got a lot of stuff done around the house (FMIL is coming this week so had to get it ready) and we carved a couple pumpkins. Unfortunately, I went on our porch today and something was chewing on FI's pumpkin. Part of the face has been eaten off! I hope they aren't gone before Halloween, they were a lot of work, haha.
 
calibali said:
BG - your FI is nutty. I'm sure he just wants you to be happy and get the best, but I can get how a guy could get overwhelmed with all the jewelry spending after just buying you a gorgeous e-ring. Can you go to any stores before the trunk show to try on some wedding bands? I say, why wait when you can go play with jewelry today. I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun looking at the different combos, actually.

Adana - I don't know if you're aware, but it's likely you won't get to try on the Leon ring you want if you visit his shop. He doesn't have an actual storefront where you can see all the rings he has for sale, so in most cases it really is a leap of faith. I've heard of some people getting to see a few rings, but that might not be of any use.

Too - weekend was good, got a lot of stuff done around the house (FMIL is coming this week so had to get it ready) and we carved a couple pumpkins. Unfortunately, I went on our porch today and something was chewing on FI's pumpkin. Part of the face has been eaten off! I hope they aren't gone before Halloween, they were a lot of work, haha.
Click to expand...

Cali: EXACTLY what my FI thinks. Oh well, I don't want that expensive wb to match with my e-ring anymore. I want to get an eternity band from Tacori. Lots of cheaper and nice options. YEAH! I'm so excited! Maybe I can go to Tiffany and Birks to try out some rings. However, I really should look for more dresses. My FI is kinda concerned because I'm so picky. I'm planning to find one in HK. However, if I can't find one there, I'm DEAD!
 
Cali: I was hoping that wasn't the case. K actually said he wants to go see them in person as well. I know on the site there is a fully made one he says that's for sale with a 3 carat stone in it! I shouldn't even go near it since I know we're not getting anything that big when the time comes. I guess I'll call later and see what can be done.
 
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